Episode Transcript
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The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog-ear that for now.
It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to
try to put out a podcast every day in August.
For more information, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
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We always take this month to provide you with some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the platinum anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, we'll end each Dog Day episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.
So, let's get started with Odd News PAC.
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If you drive, you know that roads can be tricky to maneuver.
Sometimes you come across an unusually steep grade that feels more like a rollercoaster
lift hill, where the other side only reveals itself once you have crested the top of the ridge.
Please keep your hands and legs inside the vehicle and watch your hats and glasses.
Or you come across a lane that hugs very close to the edge of a cliff where
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one wrong move could mean you're about to find out how good your vehicle is at flying.
Or landing. Then there are tricky intersections where you're supposed to stop
and see if vehicles are approaching on the crossroad But that road curves,
making it impossible to tell if anything is approaching So you have to rely
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on your spidey senses to tell if a car or truck is barreling towards you Toss in roundabouts,
merge lanes, and confusing exits And it makes you wonder if road engineers even
drive cars Maybe they just walk everywhere The latest shining example of this
can be found in the design of a new rail-over bridge,
or overpass, in Bhopal, India.
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In fact, Central India's Madhya Pradesh government suspended seven engineers over
the design of the bridge, a 28-foot-wide bridge that cost 200 million rupee, around $2.3 million US.
What could be so wrong with this bridge, designed simply to cross over a length
of railroad track? Maybe it's the sheer length of the bridge,
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which clocks in at 648 meters, or four-tenths of a mile.
Yes, that is annoying, but the bridge does have to maneuver around existing
structures once it is elevated.
Maybe it's the wide curve on the road after a long straight section,
making the bridge look like a huge question mark.
Well, while that is something to question, it's not the big problem.
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Then what is the deal here? What is so bad about this overpass bridge?
Why were seven engineers suspended?
It's because, once the ramp that runs parallel to the railroad tracks reaches
its full height, it takes a turn to cross over the tracks—a near 90-degree turn.
No, not gradually. All at once. You're going one way and then BAM!
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Your car needs to be turned to face the side in some insane Tokyo drift maneuver.
Now, in India, vehicles travel on the left side of the road.
So if you're coming up the ramp, at least you have some clue about what is around the corner.
But if you're coming down the ramp with the barrier wall on your left,
it would be like that intersection I mentioned earlier where you don't know
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what's around the corner.
But in this case, there's no stopping.
You just go! Fortunately, the overpass is not in use.
It is sitting there in all its twist and turn glory while the local government
figures out how to fix the problem.
Here's a suggestion. Don't use a 90-degree turn.
And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip.
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In this clip from the October 3, 2011 episode of comedy4cast,
I acknowledge that I'm horrible at remembering names. and bring in a memory expert to help me.
However, I want to see how good they really are. So I ask them to help someone else first. Good luck.
We shall start with the basics, which, as I have said before, is repetition.
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Here, here is a picture of a young woman. Do you remember her name?
Of course you don't. I have not told her to you yet, but I will.
Her name is Yolanda.
Now, repeat after me. Yolanda.
Yolanda. Yolanda. Hhhhjoulanda. Hulanda.
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Hhhhhjulanda. Now, what is the woman's name?
Not a clue. Think. Think with your mind. Her name rhymes with Rwanda.
Kate Beckinsale? It is Yolanda. Yolanda. She's got the same first and last name?
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You wouldn't think her parents would have seen that coming. No,
honey, don't call her Yorba Linda.
Our last name is Yucatan.
Look, I've got to go. I've got to get to the Borders bookstore before it closes.
Cap, they've closed all the Borders. Wow, they're really tightening up on those immigration policies.
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Let's come at this from a different direction. A different angle,
if you will. In this approach, we emphasize a particular sound in a name to help it stand out.
We put the emphasis on the wrong syllable, as it were.
Clinton, would you please give me a name so I can demonstrate?
Sure. Bill.
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Perhaps one with more than one syllable? Oh, right.
Jojo. And more than one sound? Ugh, picky, picky, picky.
Um, Yvette. All right, we will emphasize the first syllable instead of the second.
Yvette instead of Yvette. You see? Yvette. Yvette.
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Yvette. Yvette. No, even I can't see the difference.
Never mind. This guy's a few corners short of a circle, if you know what I mean.
What? Perhaps we should try a different approach.
Cap, I want you to remember my name, which is Bernie.
Really? Now, picture writing the name Bernie in the air.
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With what? What? A pencil? A pen?
Does a sharpie write in the air? I don't... Yes, yes. A Sharpie writes in the air. Oh, okay.
Are you picturing it? Nope. Why not? I don't have a Sharpie.
Pretend you have one. Boy, this is a lot of work.
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Now are you picturing it? Nope.
Now why not? Left the cap off too long. The darn thing's dried out. That's all right.
Another technique is to picture writing the name on the person's forehead.
It reinforces the memory you see.
So try that. You're sure it's okay?
Of course. Of course. So what's your name again? Bernie.
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How do you spell that? B-E-R-N-I-E. You sure about that?
Yes, of course I am sure. Well, I've got some bad news.
Well, I spelled it B-E-R-O-A-X. Well, that is... C
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7, open bracket, backslash. Well, right over it.
Tried to rub it off and now it's all smudgy. Can't read it. All right.
Imagine I'm wearing a name tag. Why are you wearing a name tag on your forehead?
It is on my jacket. Now, hold on a minute. This imaginary name tag looks familiar.
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What? It looks just like the ones we sell down in the gift shop.
Where did you get this? But I didn't... Show me your receipt.
I don't have a receipt. I didn't buy anything. Whoa.
I don't usually get a confession. Sweet.
Come on, buddy. You're coming with me. This is ridiculous.
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And then I'm going looking for your peeps. My peeps? Your whole posse.
Yolanda, Yolanda, Bill, Jojo, Yvette, and Yvette.
Call my lawyer! Uh, sure. What's their name? His name is, uh... Uh...
Oh, irony of ironies. That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC.
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But first, a shout out to the comedy4castt Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic
podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20-megabyte Doctor Who podcast.
You too can support comedy4cast and get episodes before everyone else for
as little as $2 a month. Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with
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the number 4, on Patreon.com.
Script, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.
Talk to you again next time. But for now, that's it. We're done,
done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.