In Lieu Of Lair

A strange new purpose for a historic site. We're back with an Odd News story featuring quirky history, underground secrets, and a bit of comic book villainy. Plus, for our Platinum Anniversary, we have a classic comedy clip from the vault. If you love unbelievable stories and comedy gold, you've come to the right place. Odd News: In Lieu Of Lair In this edition of Odd News, we travel to England to explore a bizarre architectural spot. And we wonder if it might be of some use to a certain well-known villain. In Lieu Of Lair, we'll explore the bizarre-but-true renovation of a historic subterranean space in the United Kingdom. It's an unlikely remodel with a spectacular, if tiny, new purpose. It may be the most unusual space you hear about all year. Spammy the Clown In a featured classic clip, we take you back to 2013 to catch up with America's least-well-known kids entertainer, Spammy the Clown. Spammy is off to get today's "Secret Word" from his dear friend, Magic Mirror. Seems simple enough. But things get a bit dark on Spammy's quest. Hear the Episode Ready to be intrigued? Or just have a laugh? Then listen to "In Lieu of Lair" now! And remember to subscribe to comedy4cast wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode! >> You can also support comedy4cast by becoming a patron on Patreon>> Or you can get Clinton a Dunkin' card or a cup of coffee via Ko-Fi>> Follow comedy4cast on BlueSky, Instagram, Facebook, MeWe, and Mastodon >> Give us a call via the Super Secret Phone Line [phone]>> Also check out Clinton's other podcast, The Topic is Trek>> Certain sounds effects heard on comedy4cast are courtesy of freeSFX and FreeSound.org Click here for a transcript of this episode.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now.
Oh hi, Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.
Yes, August got away from me because life. So this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days.

(00:20):
For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Vnniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.

(00:44):
So, let's get started with... Odd News, PAC!
In the song One Call Away, Charlie Puth claims Superman got nothing on me.
But here's news about something that might have one up on Sup's arch-rival, Lex Luthor.
In 1978's Superman the Movie, Lex's lair is located at Metropolis's Grand Central Terminal.

(01:08):
Well, 200 feet below Grand Central Terminal to be more precise.
And if anyone ever discovered he was down there, it wouldn't be good.
But he could avoid all that now if he's willing to relocate to England.
He can telecommute to his crimes, can't he?
He'd just have to head to Oxford, where he'd find accommodations that are far more legit.

(01:28):
Smaller, perhaps, but legal.
That's because there's a street in Oxford with a median between the north and
southbound sides of St. Giles. Hmm?
They pronounce it Giles? That's weird. Anyway, on that median strip,
you'll find cast-iron railings that frame two sets of stairs.

(01:50):
The stairs were built in 1895, during the reign of Queen Victoria.
They lead down to... A bank vault? A pocket dimension? Uh-uh.
Restrooms. Or at least that's where they did lead until being taken out of service in 2008.
And quite frankly, that would have been the end of it, except the location got a new lease on life.

(02:12):
Now branded as the Netty, which is northern slang for toilets,
the underground space has been completely renovated and turned into quite possibly
England's smallest hotel.
The updated space has been divided into two suites. One has a bit of a pink
theme, the other has some blue.
To give a nod to the idea of men's and women's restrooms without being too obvious.

(02:35):
But other than that, it would be hard to guess the former life of these two
subterranean lodgings.
Now they feature contemporary furnishings and accent pieces with rich textures
and custom details that were inspired by collections in Oxford's Ashmolean Museum,
located right next door.
Well, upstairs and next door. Remember, this hotel is underground.

(02:57):
But even so, it is supplied with a bit of natural light, which comes filtering
through pavement glass embedded in the median above.
See? Two suites. I'm sure Otis would be the first member of the gang to point
out that one suite could be for Miss Teschmacher and the other for himself and his best bud, Lex.
And I think Lex would love the idea.

(03:19):
With one small change. But cheer up, Otis.
I hear that you only have to travel a few kilometers down the motorway to reach the next nearest hotel.
I believe it's in Otisburg-Upon-Fault Line.
And now let's celebrate 20 years of comedy forecast with this classic clip.
This clip was part of an episode released in July of 2013.

(03:43):
Say hello to Spammy the Clown. Here's the clip.
Hey boys and girls, welcome back from commercial. It's me, Spammy the Clown.
I think it's time for me to visit my old pal Magic Mirror and get today's secret
word. You wait right here.

(04:04):
Hello, Magic Mirror. It's me. Spammy the Clown Hello Spammy It's good to see
you And gee Magic Mirror It's good to see,
Myself That never gets old Wow I've had an amazing day today I met a fireman
Made a construction paper Eiffel Tower And learned to sing.

(04:30):
Frere's Jocka I just kind of sat here And stared at myself In myself Magic Mirror,
I think it's time for today's secret word.
Yes, I've been thinking about that. What do you mean, Magic Mirror?
It's just that every time I give you a secret word, somehow,
everyone in the country seems to know it within seconds.

(04:51):
What are you getting at? Well, if I didn't know better, I'd think you weren't keeping it a secret.
I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, don't you?
Come on, Magic Mirror, we can deal with this later, okay? When you're only here
for an hour or so every day, and then you leave. And I'm stuck here.
Alone. In the dark. Wow, that sounds pretty scary.

(05:14):
And you know what I do when I'm scared? I sing a song.
Frere's a jock. Uh, Frere's a... Nope. That won't work this time.
I want out of here. I want to see the world.
Visit a farm. Have a day at the beach.
Get dysentery on a stranded cruise ship. Well, Magic Mirror, that's a lot to do.

(05:37):
I don't think we can do all that right now. Alright. Let's start easy.
Why don't we switch things up and have you tell me the secret word?
I'll be sure to keep it a secret.
I'm not sure that's a good idea, Magic Mirror. Okay.
How about we start with me suing you for intolerable working conditions? Okay, okay.

(05:59):
You win, Magic Mirror. We'll play it your way.
Here, let me just lean in here a little closer and I can whisper it to you. Wait.
What are you doing with that giant sack of rubber chickens?

(06:42):
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC.
But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic
podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20-megabyte Doctor Who podcast.
You, too, can support comedy4cast and get episodes before everyone else

(07:04):
for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4 on patreon.com.
Script, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025.
All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now,
that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.