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July 23, 2024 • 17 mins
Change is inevitable and often a really good thing. However navigating it can be an issue
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(00:01):
Welcome. You're listening to K Wood, Shu, the
podcast that pulls back the curtains in your
mind.
We like to shed a little light on
why you're thinking, what's your thinking.
Everyone has a choice in life in enlightened
how they think.
Together, we're going to focus on high functioning
habits. There is no more time to live

(00:22):
with any sort of regret. Coulda, Woulda, should.
The inspirational podcast for the inspired. Let's get
into today's show with your host Shelly r
She.
Hello, World. Shelley Ro here and welcome to
the show.
Listen, I was terribly sorry about the last
podcast breaking the habit of being yourself. I

(00:44):
was in our home and, and I didn't
have my proper sound set up, and I
listened to it. Today noticing that with the
headset I was using, there was a bit
of a buffet noise,
which means I had the speaker too close
to my mouth. So I pal apologize eyes
for that.
Lots going on. And, you know, there's just
been so much on my mind lately because
we've been super busy, so share a little
what's going on.

(01:04):
And the challenges that,
you know, you face in life when there's
change.
So I just thought, okay. What I wanna
talk about? I thought, okay. Do it? You
do Shelly, when you want to
share, but you're
uncertain
go to the book that you love to
go to. And sure enough today's date
making a fresh start.
It always just never cease it to amaze

(01:26):
me how the universe can answer because guys,
that is what I'm going through right now
in my life. It's... It's everything that's going
on in our lives is right now.
So we went on a cruise, my girlfriend
and I back in June.
For my birthday to Alaska. I never been.
I mean, I live here I'm a resident
of British Columbia, Canada,
and people broke all over the world come

(01:47):
to see. Our amazing scenery and seeing here
the history.
Our men had no interest if there wasn't
a beach pool well, there was a pool,
but it certainly wasn't Caribbean weather.
We had a wonderful time. Just a wonderful
time. And the glaciers well wonderful to see
and the history was interesting, and just spend
time with my girlfriend who was so easy

(02:08):
to travel with, and we made these... We
met these amazing people people, especially the couple
from the New Zealand
Aussie connection,
that ended up sitting beside us. We've met
them out outside on the ship somewhere. And
then they ended up sitting. Right beside is
at dinner. So we've we spent kind of
part of the cruise with them and had
stayed in touch, and they were just wonderful.

(02:29):
Such amazing people.
And
Sal is Italian board, Australian.
And his wife is
it's a kiwi. So
it was... It's always interesting when people
again, make fresh starts in their life, things
change, you know, it's houses pass.
Divorce happens, children are grown.

(02:50):
And then you meet a companion, and you
just click, and it was just was just
wonderful. We had... We had great fun, dance,
eat too much food. So anyways, it came
home to the chore.
We've been taught contemplating for a number of
months of listing our house.
We have spent the last number of months,
really looking at things in our lives. That's

(03:12):
why I haven't been podcasting regularly and I
apologize.
I've been going through a lot emotionally mentally
and physically,
something else has sort of gone wrong and,
like, are you kidding me? I had my
hip replaced it just over a year ago,
and you know, it's, like, 6 months to
heal properly, and then I was thinking, this
is great. I can walk better and
than the left side. I have severe stenosis

(03:34):
in my back And I guess we've pinched
a nerve with a deteriorating disk and I'm
like, are you kidding me?
So after I went down through my little
pity potty of back feeling sorry for myself.
We had to get this house listed because
we have talked about the fact that, yes.
The cruise was wonderful, but I came home
and had to dress for days. It was

(03:54):
very hard on me physically.
I sure adrenaline got me through it, but
then, you know, you have to recover So,
Keith and I looked each other and went
we need to be aware of that, like,
more aware because we do want to travel
here coming up, we're hoping to go to
Spain in the fall. That being said, you
know, we have to take into account what's
going on in our lives physically.

(04:15):
My husband
is going to retire from his full time
job and work part time on contract. With
the same company because he loves what he
does He's a great trainer, and great with
dealing with the dealers, but the day in
day stress,
of
of that level is just... Can you do
it yes? Does he want to? No?
No. We're we're just we're she's now and

(04:35):
it's like,
we've had so many people have unexpected deaths
or things go wrong around us. We're like,
what if waiting for. I live in an
area where the housing prices went insane. So
if we could cash out of this and
move into the little old house sign paired
it up in the in the Oak Oregon
Valley.
We can look quite comfortably
and and just keep searching for our next

(04:57):
house because we just haven't found what we're
looking for up there.
So this is really a fresh start for
us,
and
starts and changes are never easy. It has
been very stressful.
We're not
changing our mind. We're not questioning what we're

(05:17):
doing.
The process of making it happen is exhausting.
We had no idea how much work is
involved in listing house and getting it ready
to be staged.
So my husband who was being, not very
supportive for for a bit. They're rolling his
eyes at me saying, you know, what I'm
saying Honey, We... This is week get all
this done. It was until the realtor kind
of gave him a come to Jesus talk

(05:39):
and said, hey, we need this this and
this done, pictures are being done here. Stage
arrives here Keith went. Oh,
Crap. I see what you mean? Yeah. Can
we get on this now? So we packed
up so much stuff.
Because they want your personal life out of
the house. People wanna be able to walk
into something very neutral and picture themselves in

(06:00):
your house.
So it was really
shocking for me because the last 2 homes
we have we have done they bought or
whatever sold. We're done private.
We didn't use a realtor tree. It didn't
have this whole do ad and it's been
many, many years. So wow.
Anyways, that was chili 2 weeks
and it's labor. Like, for me, it's physical.

(06:21):
So it's it's hard on my body.
Keith is few tired after work, and he's
a bit stressed. But, man, he rose to
the occasion. Once we realize these things have
to be done, and this is what hap...
We have to do moving forward,
the then my husband has has his other
mode as I like to call it. Then
he goes into overdrive, and then When you

(06:41):
need it, I'm greatly appreciative of it. So
all of this is all about, you know,
change and start. Over, and that's what today's
lesson was all I was in. Now we're
changing
our work life our living locate mission or
home,
how we're gonna see family,
our financial situation because we won't have an

(07:03):
income coming in anymore. We'll just have our,
you know, retirement income, which is significantly less,
but manageable.
And I feel confident in that because, as
some of you know, I took my
insurance licensed this past year.
I wanted to
learn
more about things so I could manage... My

(07:23):
own life, my own retirement, my own inheritance,
my my own investments, that sort of thing.
And it was it was wonderful. I I
learned so much in it really changed things.
And then once I became a licensed life
insurance agent, things opened up on the company
that I'm with on the website where I
could do financial needs analysis. And it's just
that. Fantastic

(07:43):
to be able to put all your numbers
in and find out if you... You know,
if you're good or if you're not and
where the shortfall falls are. And so you
know, when we're starting making a fresh start,
I had to feel very comfortable
with those numbers. And so by the time
I kind of got through... That this spring.
We were at the point now Where was
like, yeah, We're gonna we're gonna we're gonna

(08:04):
pull the trigger and make the change. But
that's my true change. Sometimes in people's lives,
it's... Maybe you're changing your relationship. Maybe
you
want a new jump
Maybe you need to create a whole new
life because that... You just need to change
the environment that you're in. And if you're
not happy in your in your environment,

(08:25):
change it. But make sure first
that you've changed
yourself.
Because remember, wherever you go, there you are.
So if you are catalyst for some of
the things in your life that are working
out. No matter how many changes you make
in jobs, marriage location that you live, friends,
you will still carry the damage with you

(08:46):
and we'll create
the chaos
everywhere you go. So the goal here was
starting over is the learning process, the healing
process and accepting that life is about change.
So what I just mentioned about, you know,
where you are where you go there you
are. That's a whole another podcast. So we're
I'm not gonna go into that right now.
This is just more of

(09:07):
the fact that we have to start over,
sometimes we choose like I am, and sometimes
we don't.
Now it's really interesting because 1 of my
closest friends right now is going a huge
change.
And I'm gonna talk about as well, just
the emotional,
reaction in trauma that can happen with all
of that. So my god children,

(09:31):
they... They're Americans, but the parents are Canadians
because my my friends have lived in the
states pretty much their entire working life and
had their children down there. However,
his company got bought out
and
half the people were like go, and he
has
kind of been forced to retire.
And he's not in a position where he
has any interest in getting another job they

(09:52):
too are like us where they were prepared
for retirement and they're like, you know, it's
a few years early, but we can make
this happen. But it also meant they had
60 days or... Yeah. To get out of
the states. Once you're not employed with your
green card or whatever it's called down there,
your visas, they have to leave.
She has been this
huge
packing up queen of organization, which is her

(10:14):
strong soup. Thank Heavens because I'm gonna need
her
grown children are leaving the house. He husband
is retiring, and move out of the home
that they have lived in the entire time
they've raised their children from was 19 years,
20 years.
All the friends she made down in that
area. This is especially for women, I think
more. We get attached to nesting,
and we're we've raised our family and where

(10:36):
we have lived our lives,
and it was really hard for her because
it wasn't a choice.
The change had to have to,
and she had to make it happen and
deal with all the emotional fallout in a
really short period of time. She had 1
of the same experiences that I did. When
we had to sell our a house that
I built down the street 9 and a
half years ago.
We are in the same neighborhood that I...

(10:57):
That we've and now for almost 20 years.
I couldn't go back to the house. I'm,
my friends actually bought it people I knew,
and I couldn't go down there for almost
a year because I was just burst into
tears that house was my dream. I planned
it and built it. I didn't build it
myself, but I managed the building of it.
And
I worked long time to have that independence
and to have that home. I

(11:20):
struggled,
my husband
was like, I'm happy.
And I would not believe that he took
the move so easy
and the same thing happened to my girlfriend.
Her family is like, yes. So house we're
going out, and she
is dealing with her emotional
trauma, but also getting no support from the
family because they just really don't care. Though

(11:43):
like,
I wonder if that's a guy thing. I'm
not really sure, but it is... True broad
stroke, you know, when you talk about things
about the difference between men and women and
Mars and Venus.
Women tend to be the village. We are
nest by nature. There's always the exception in
the outline light liars, but
by nature, in the past and threw throughout

(12:05):
your history, women kept the home.
And men went off and fought wars and
hundreds for food and and managed the world.
But
wear nest.
And her mess was being taken away.
And I understand that. I was devastated when
I had to leave my last home.
I am not devastated leaving this home.

(12:25):
It has served a purpose. It was a,
but it is a lot of house and
a ton of land that we physically cannot
keep up with anymore. We want a maintenance
free yard with with parking. Because we wanna
be rv on the boat or traveling, just
the deal.
And, you know, we we have a dog
and she comes with us and and that's
the life that we like now. We don't...

(12:46):
We used to spend weekends, just
managing the yards and the gardens and then
friends would drop in for caught tails, will
there be a fire pit that night. Wonderful.
I do not regret the last at 9
years at all. But this phase I'm done
with.
So for
for
you, if you are struggling, reach out to

(13:06):
people that can relate. Because if you have
a spouse or children or parents or anyone
that's not under standing your change, get yourself
a little support. So so Tracy has me
and us girlfriends
to kind of hold her hand on this
1 and her friends down in C were
amazing.
They literally
prop her up emotionally during this whole process

(13:27):
because, you know, they lived almost 6 hours
away from us. So we're on Marco polo
on our phones, but we're not physically there
for her.
So in this particular case,
errors are ending, homes or changing, but maybe
you are in a position where you need
to end a relationship or you need to
move like us, or you need to start
a new job or a new career. Now,

(13:49):
am I gonna use my life insurance as
a career? I am not sure at this
point, but I'm certainly leaving that option open
Right now, our time is being absorbed with
the move and the change in our lives
until the end of the year. But in
20 25,
it's hard to say what I might feel
like doing once I'm settled,
and I'm not managing 2 homes, and I'm

(14:10):
not managing,
rentals, you, I've go ahead. The students in
my home for many, many years, and it's
just us.
You know, who knows what the future might
hold ice. And the biggest thing here is
stay open and curious.
I cannot stress that enough. The universe
responds and the more curious you are the

(14:31):
more questions will come up and the more
you will learn, it is fascinating
trek and road to be on.
Sometimes we'll we're
starting a new part of her life it
looks so different that we don't even recognize
it, and it's not even related to the
life we lived before.
We're new.
You have the opportunity to be new every
single day. Life is new.

(14:54):
We are starting over folks,
and that is not a bad thing.
Sometimes it feels like we're starting from scratch.
And that is not my case right now.
I don't feel I'm starting from scratch, but
I had been there in my life.
I have.
We often feel a sense of excitement

(15:14):
about a beginning, but also made harbor, like,
my girlfriend did a lot of dread.
I do not have dread about the move.
Like, at all. And a lot of times
maybe you've been through changes more than once
and your reaction is not again, not 1
more time. I can't do it. I don't
want to.
If you can learn to accept because that
reaction is totally understandable.

(15:35):
But
if you can accept it and move through
it, you're going to become tired, frightened and
uncertain
And if it's gonna happen anyways, it's going
to be very painful for you. If you
can let go and it's a matter of
really meditating and just being aware every day
and just say the words out loud.
I let this go

(15:57):
and keep moving forward.
I think you will find a lot of
times, the
emotional and spiritual help is there.
But if you get caught up in all
the negative emotions, it's just make things so
much
harder. So honor your feelings,
and all your emotions do not ignore them
do not dismiss them and do not block
them up,

(16:19):
but remember the lessons
and clear the weight to your heart. That's
what I'm saying. Just everyday brief. Say out
loud.
I let this go when I'm open,
and then make your decision
because it's time for a fresh start. It
is for me if it is for you,
I hope this helped today. Know that you're
not alone,
know there are better ways and easier ways

(16:41):
to get through change.
And from my heart to yours, I wish
you all the success and luck in the
world if you were going through a change
right now.
Have a great day everyone, and I'll catch
you on the flip side.
We really hope you enjoyed this episode of
could wood, sugar.
Stay connected with directly through living well with

(17:01):
shell dot com and Instagram at living well
with shell. If you would like to speak
with us. Please send us an email through
shelly at living well with shell dot com.
And as always, thank you for pushing your
mindset
towards a better reality. This concludes the most
thought provoking portion of your day. Thank you.

(17:22):
And remember,
willpower will only get you so far, if
you don't have a plan.
You
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