November 3, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode of Quality Living With Peaceful Support, host Amanda Whittemore and guest Ben McQuaid discuss the value of genuine community, personal growth, and self-care. Ben shares how strong, supportive relationships and shared values in Curry County have shaped his life and work, contrasting this with less connected city living. Both emphasize that taking […]
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Episode Transcript
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(00:14):
Thank you listeners for tuning in.
If you are all ready, we have another
show of the Quality Living with Peaceful Support
program.
I think we're at our hundredth episode.
We definitely have a couple of shows that
we play purposely
a couple of times throughout the year just
because it's such good information for all of
(00:35):
us to
hear. And sometimes,
I know radio, we don't always listen to
the same station. So
this may be one of them. Anyhow,
I am Amanda Whittemore. I am your radio
voice of the Quality Living with Peaceful Support
program, and
thank you to all the donations.
This is a completely volunteer ran station.
(00:59):
Everyone in here comes in just because they
have so much fun and they love being
able to communicate
with our community and beyond.
Our show airs
in the Curry County. Then
also, because of the Internet age, we're able
to have this link, kciw.0rg/quality-living.
(01:25):
You can take that link, put it on
all your social media. You can put it
anywhere in a email, text. Everyone in the
world can listen in with us.
So it's kinda cool.
And,
if you have yet to hear what the
quality living show is all about, it's just
as the name is, quality living. What is
(01:46):
it? How do we find it?
Where does it come from? Can we
bottle it up and make more?
Pretty sure we can and it's within each
one of us as a human bottle.
So thank you everyone out there for doing
your part and making the Curry County the
best county to live in here, at least
in Oregon.
(02:07):
And if you have any questions,
we highly recommend you email
contact@kciw.org
or call in (541)
661-4098.
I've had one call in, and that was
pretty fun. We've had call in guests. So
if you're thinking, oh, I have the best
(02:28):
guest for this show,
we're right here. Call in,
walk down the stairs, come into the station,
and we will invite you into our super
cool new remodeled room. Thank you, Mike. We
appreciate that, and thank you for doing sound.
We know that your schedule is super occupied
with all your activities, so thank you for
being here.
And, also, while we're saying thank you, we're
(02:49):
gonna thank our guest.
We have our
super special guest that came all the way
from the Gold Beach area, Pistol River,
Ben McQuaid.
Thank you for being here, Ben.
Thank you for having me. Yes. I looked,
to be respectfully interrogated.
Perfect. You came to the right spot. I
(03:11):
would tell you what.
Oh my heavens. Yeah. Well, so
I
fortunately,
when I first moved into town, I got
to work with Ben at the Tatooine Lodge,
super famous place in the area. If nobody
knows about it, it's a hidden secret.
Go find it. It's super cool. And so
I really got to learn some really special
(03:33):
qualities about Ben and I just really appreciate
who you are as a being. And so
thanks for being so supportive. And thank you
for having me. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.
I feel the exact same way about you.
Right on.
And speaking about just better living in general,
we are two examples
of
people who have made each other better just
(03:53):
through friendship.
Totally. Yeah. Completely. Yeah. That's for that is
true. Thanks for bringing that to
to the surface. Oh, yeah. No. It's the
most important, you know,
part about it.
I think one of the things about here
that a lot of people miss on
is there's people that come here from all
(04:14):
kinds of different places, all different walks of
life, all different socioeconomic
classes,
and don't realize how similar
that we are. Mhmm. Mhmm. And I think
that's a really big point to make,
in our conversation today. So Absolutely. And from
a simple,
like, really unique
situation about us as friends is we worked
(04:35):
at the Tittudes in Laws together.
We both sought out something a little bit
more for each other. Mhmm. Said to each
other what our goals were, encourage each other
to make those goals, and we both did.
Mhmm. And now we're here to talk about
them. I know. That's the best part about
it.
So, people, you can do it too. It's
for real. It's accountability buddies. Yep. That's a
that's a great way to put it, actually.
(04:57):
I've never heard that. It's my favorite new
word.
Yes. Well, tell our listeners, Ben. Share with
them how you even got to the Brookings,
Curry County area.
Well, my family has been here for
thirty
eight years. My grandmother came from Ireland.
They retired to Santa Cruz in the late
(05:18):
eighties
and it got too busy for them, which
I wish they could see it now because
Oh my geez. Yeah. I still have a
cousin who felt it. So there's that. Okay.
Alright. So they moved to Port Orford because
it reminded my grandmother of home. Yeah. So
the Port Orford area reminded my grandmother who
came from Athlone, Ireland
of being home.
(05:38):
I came here when I was 15 for
the first time, and I thought they were
all crazy.
There was nobody my age. It's like the
CIA took everyone that was born in the
seventies out of here. That's true. No cute
girls at the time.
So I happily went back to live with
my father in Boston Nice. Which is where
I'm originally from. Right. Yeah.
Yep. Yeah. Let me close the curtains. Yeah.
(06:00):
Right? But I have now been here sorry
to interrupt. I had now been here, full
time for fifteen years.
Mhmm.
Wow. In the Golden Gate Bridge. Yeah. I
came from Key West,
Florida, where I was at for eleven years.
I made it out of life, as I
like to say, and came for Christmas, and
(06:21):
I stayed to take care of my grandfather.
And I have not left
because of a lot of the wonderful things
that are here. The amount of support.
Yes. Yeah. Absolutely.
That was a 100%,
a reason aside from family. My family is
split, you know, coast to coast.
But,
friends that I've met here,
(06:43):
just random people, honestly. Mhmm.
Especially here in the Brookings area, there is
so much support
for so many different things. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.
It's the one thing that I really didn't
even know knew I had no idea that
it existed.
Like, I knew,
you know, what having fun was. I knew
(07:03):
what friends were or groups or activities or
being invited to stuff.
I didn't understand the support of
having a goal, bettering myself, and having people
guide you through it and, like, literally, physically,
every way possible support you to meet your
goals the whole way instead of deterring you
(07:25):
to go off and do some wild and
crazy thing that you know is not gonna
go
to a trickle,
which I've done a lot of a lot
of times. But this is the first experience.
Yes. No. As have I. And coming from
a city
environment and then to a
rural environment,
it just it's a more concentration of connection
(07:47):
if you really let it be. Yeah. It's,
you know, it's hard maybe
because people are can be very in
their own space. Mhmm. But because
we're in smaller communities, I think we have
the ability
to mend fences a lot better
and make it easier, you know? Would it
lend me some sugar? I am your neighbor,
(08:08):
you know,
because you're so close and you're Or maybe
you're far away and you live in a
ranch or, you know, but someone saved your
cow or
Exactly. Whatever it could be. I mean, I've
heard so many stories in all the years
that I've been here.
And,
they've all brought me closer to people that
I never thought
that I'd ever meet
(08:29):
or never mind call friends or anything like
that in my life.
Wow. Yeah.
And the industry that you're in
The many.
Right. Exactly.
I know. We don't really ever I mean
I'm just kidding. Okay. But in my brain,
it's like it's like just part of the
whole, you know? Sure. But, you know, I
(08:49):
we all yes. Tell us about your activities.
So,
I have been in the restaurant business most
of my life. My grandparents
that I was talking about earlier, they had
a Howard Johnson's back east.
Howard Johnson. You told me about this. Yeah.
So I think there's I think there's two
left. Mike, you might know about this,
in the world or but they were the
(09:12):
when Eisenhower did the whole track of the
highways, they needed a place like motor lodges
for people that were driving to go, not
only eat, but to stay.
So that was the concept. So my grandfather
ran the restaurant and my grandmother ran the
motor lodge. Oh, wow.
And these were hardworking people back then. And
I remember thinking that they were rich because
(09:34):
they had a, like, a bigger house than
we did. Yeah. But they had five kids.
Wow. So they needed a big house. Of
course.
So they just really worked hard.
My grandmother's a true great immigrant story,
coming from Ireland. I trace it all back
through ancestry,
and they instilled the work ethic that you
(09:54):
have as well. And that's one of the
reasons you and I became friends
working together since we both gave a bloop
about things. Yeah. You know? So Yeah. It
makes a huge difference when you have people
that you're working with have the same ethics
and values and wish for everyone to succeed,
not just because it's their shift or they
(10:15):
have a paycheck.
It's for the bigger picture of the whole
project.
Yep. And why you're there, you know, and
just to make people happy. Exactly. And or
help make people happy. Be part of it.
You know? And that's,
I think one thing that I'm so proud
of you about for all the things that
you have done,
and you have also inspired me to carry
(10:37):
on in that same fold in a different
space.
Nice. Nice. Yeah. I'm glad to be of
service. Oh,
it's wonderful. Yeah. So we all should be,
you know? That that is another huge thing,
you know? Mhmm.
Assisting anybody that you can. Mhmm. Opening a
door. Totally. You know, saying hello.
Just being polite
(10:58):
in general
goes a very, very, very long way. Mhmm.
I used to,
tease my exes, my ex mother-in-law.
She was very guarded, very, you know, and
I said, you know what? If you were
stuck in an elevator with somebody with an
exact opposite opinion Right. Right. By the time
you go to the elevator, you're probably gonna
come out with some sort of understanding.
(11:20):
Yeah. And she she agreed. Yeah. Absolutely.
I like that. It is. Because that does
happen. It does. And it shouldn't have to
be forced. Mm-mm. You know, we should force
it, you know, not force it upon each
other, but and you're not telling yourself no
by not helping yourself out first. You're you're
telling
everybody else yes.
(11:41):
Right. Right. You know? And you're in yourself
at the same time because we can't help
people if we can't help ourselves.
At all. Yeah. It's difficult. It is so
difficult.
And to learn that it's okay
to just have a moment and to get
better in whatever way I need to in
order to be able to, maybe tomorrow or
(12:03):
the next day, show somebody else how I
did that. I don't even have to do
it for them or with them. Just by
doing myself
is actually almost sometimes more help than doing
it for them.
I mean, entirely it is. But Sure. Well,
like like you're saying about being of service,
and
I think that is extremely important, but you
(12:24):
have to service yourself first. Oh, yeah. And
that's, again, that's not being selfish at all.
Mm-mm. You know? That's saying yes to you
and then saying yes to the universe.
Exactly. And it's important. And that's, you know,
kinda how the show even got here and,
you know, that just
taking a moment to acknowledge
(12:44):
how do we even create quality in our
life,
to think about it? It's like, you know,
we think about our time management. So we
sit down to write out our calendar. But
do we think about, like, our quality management?
Great point. Great point. Right? Yeah. Do we
set
our goals? Like, am I gonna smile five
times more today? Or,
(13:04):
you know, I don't know, different things of
like, what are some things that bring more
quality into your life?
Things like you just said, rewriting my schedule.
That's a great way to put it because
schedules are great. You know, when you follow
something and you're on time and you're doing
everything that you need to do and accomplishments
(13:26):
feel good. Mhmm. But
are they all about you?
Right. Or are they all about
maybe some other stuff thrown in there? Like
you said, like smiles. Yeah. Or I mean,
it sounds corny maybe, but
it's really, really true. Mhmm. You know, how
many times have you lied today? Like, little
little tiny Right. To your to our selves
(13:47):
even. Like, oh, I can have three chocolate
donuts today. I'm gonna feel fine. Oh, it's
only a stomach chisme. Yeah.
Yeah. Exactly. But
it's not. And when you can put that
on your list, you know? Mhmm. I haven't
lied all day. Right. And how many times
have I smiled today? How many doors have
I opened? How many, you know,
(14:07):
that kind of thing. And then but, again,
it has to start with you. It really
does. Because
what have you done, and I'm speaking for
myself, you know, like, what have I done
today Mhmm.
To make myself a better person? Mhmm. You
know? Just period. And I appreciate you letting
this be part of one. Yeah. Absolutely. No.
Seriously. Totally.
(14:28):
And The more go ahead. Nope. You go
first. No. The more because the more we
can share, I'm just about done, with
other people
about ourselves willingly, I find. Mhmm.
And if it is the truth
and if it is a positive thing,
put that on your list. Yeah.
It's a good thing.
It's a really good thing.
(14:50):
I like it.
And what does the word quality
signify to you?
Positivity mostly.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Honestly.
Because you can have quality of all kinds
of things.
So true. You can have quality of, say,
you know, I'm rich. I got all this
money. Right. Is that quality? Maybe not.
(15:15):
It's quality to me is the positive truth.
Wow. Yeah. This is we're almost at, I
think, maybe our hundredth show. And I think
that's the first time we had the answer
to ask everybody.
I love it. I appreciate it. Yeah. I
mean, it goes back to you and I
having a conversation before we got on air,
you know, about
(15:36):
surviving versus living. Mhmm. And they are two
completely different things. We started out that way,
you know, because
that's another thing that is not necessarily a
class issue.
You know?
Generally, lower class people, I grew up pretty
poor. You know what I mean? But I
grew up in a very hard working family.
Right. There was a lot of love. Yeah.
(15:57):
But there was a lot of addiction. There
was a lot of all these other things.
Mhmm. So you learn how to survive
through all of that and you get caught
up into that as opposed to actually living
and doing things like we were talking about
just a little bit
ago about putting on your list for yourself.
Exactly.
Yeah. It makes a huge difference.
(16:20):
It's like out of this world different. I
can't even imagine.
I mean, actually I did. I drove, I
went February,
we're in October, and I went to where
I used to live
in Central America.
And of course things have grown, it's been
five or more years that I've even been
there. Sure. And
(16:40):
I told my guy, I said, just keep
driving.
I didn't even get out of the car.
I was so I couldn't believe
how I lived
and how I treated myself.
Yep. And I have gone through that not
in a
when I try to go back to California
in Santa Cruz. Yeah. Because I moved there,
(17:03):
when I was eight.
I left this out of the story. My
my mom and her best friend, Jan, it
was like Thelma, Louise, and Ben. And we
drove across country because my grandparents had already
bought their house to retire in.
And
left
in the middle, after my sophomore in high
school.
And my very good friend, Noel Levine, he
(17:24):
is a Buddhist teacher now and a mentor.
He's wonderful.
Was one of two friends who told me
to get on the plane. Right. All my
other friends said, stay with me. You can
sleep on the couch. You can do whatever.
Yeah.
And two of my friends said, you know
what? This is a gift. Mhmm. Take it.
You can always come back.
And the best my one of my mother's
(17:45):
hardest decisions,
one of her best decisions,
and two of my best friends giving me
a great decision.
Yeah. Yeah. That's some real peaceful support right
there. It's and it's real, and it's got
me here. Dang.
Yeah.
Listen to the good people, folks. Listen to
the good people. It is for real. Like
these ones right here on quality living with
(18:07):
peaceful support here on the KCIW show, you're
talking with Ben McQueede
and Amanda Whittemore and we're simply just having
some good conversation about quality living and peaceful
support and
learning about Ben and hopefully even maybe, I
don't know.
Well, first, let's we'll tell you that later.
How about, what's happening in your world? Like,
(18:30):
what's coming up for you now? Where are
you now? Are you still in the restaurant
industry? Or what tell me. I mean, I
know some things, but I want the listeners
to know. Sure. Sure. Sure. I am still
in the restaurant industry
at the Landing North.
I also sell real estate,
and I also do
elder care.
(18:50):
I worked at Shore Pines for a while.
Mhmm.
It wasn't the best situation for me as
far as how it was being run
and that sort of thing.
But
one of the things that,
you have helped me with is reaching out
into an the new part of healing. Mhmm.
Because it's I'm a big brother. I'm the
(19:11):
oldest of six kids. Mhmm. I changed all
their diapers.
So it's in my nature to nurture. Mhmm.
And
wanting to continue that in the best possible
way that I can. Mhmm. Mhmm. You know?
The restaurant business will always be in me.
Like I said, I grew up in it.
Yeah. It's cool. I was a little bullheaded
kid running around begging the kids for, you
(19:32):
know, begging the cooks rather for food.
But at the same time, I've owned my
own restaurant here eleven years ago, and it's
ironic because it's the same one I work
at now. Right. I really like being the
hired gun. I sleep much better. Mhmm. And
getting other avenues
(19:54):
solidified at the moment as far as a
healing and helping role. Mhmm.
Mhmm. You know,
the whole comparison, you know, with the youth
and the siblings and the elders,
It's like,
I I didn't have kids. I don't think
you had kids. Now I'm uncle Ben. Yeah.
I'm I'm auntie Mandita. Like, you know, because
my family's, you know No. I'm still not
(20:15):
auntie. Yeah. Exactly. So, yeah, we're the aunties
and uncles and now we get, I've been
gifted like grandbabies.
Nice. You know? Because
not that they're babies, but because we have
so much love and nurturing
for them as like our own,
you know? Because they
they do things differently. They need different things,
(20:36):
and their attention that they need from us
is different.
Yes. You know? It's almost like a,
do you have a lot of cousins?
Yeah. I
mean, not a lot, but I've got them.
And for me,
growing up, they were my brothers and sisters.
That's exactly right. I would call my aunt
or my cousins. To me, it's a similar
(20:57):
relationship. Yeah. You know what I mean?
You get to go home and leave. Yep.
Same thing with, you know, and a tio.
Yep.
Here you go. Exactly.
Do the best we can, then
yeah. You ever need me.
Anytime. I'm the first person you call. Exactly.
Yep. Yep.
And so with the real estate too,
(21:18):
how is that? What's that avenue about with
you?
It's good. I'm lucky to work in a
small office,
that is all family run.
We're all family or friends.
It's more of a part time thing for
me Mhmm.
For a lot of reasons,
but it's something that I enjoy because
(21:40):
it's gotten
me closer to a lot of people for
other reasons. That's how I got into elder
care. That's how I got into that sort
of thing because you find all these people
that just have nobody.
Yeah. You know, and you're trying to sell
their house for them and, you know, maybe
their husband or wife has passed or
so there's a lot of emotion that goes
into it. Mhmm. And my, one of my
(22:01):
brothers in Boston,
Matthew does it. I remember calling him when
I was first thinking about it, And I
said, what's up, man? Mhmm. And he's like,
listen, there's gonna be people that wanna flip
houses and that sort of thing. He goes,
but there's a lot of emotion that goes
into it. Mhmm. You're giving people,
you know, sustainability
and comfort
or you're getting them out of a situation.
(22:22):
Yeah. Or you're I mean, there's so many
things about it. So, therefore, I'll always keep
my foot in that door. Mhmm.
But that's how I kinda got into the
back into the healing process. Right. Right. Right.
And how can people get in contact with
you? You
can reach me at my e personal email
(22:43):
at b mcquuade, so bmcquaid,alllowercase,number73@gmail.com.
So, bmcquade,lowercase,number73@gmail.com.
I will answer any questions you have about
anything that I have spoken about
(23:05):
or things that maybe you just have questions
about. They don't have to be about
real estate,
restaurants. It can just be about any personal
thing that I've said or shared, and I
would be happy to share that with you.
Beautiful.
Lovely.
And how about do you want just email
only phone number?
(23:26):
My phone you can text me also at
(541)
373-1968.
That is (541)
373-1968.
Nice. Nice.
And
are there any current goals?
Because we always have goals, like, since I
(23:47):
met you. You know? We just keep them
going. We knock them down. Like, what are
you working on right now? We do. Because
you yeah.
Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off
there.
One of my goals is this,
to do more of this with you in
particular. Yeah.
Because I've always,
again, wanted to I think it's another best
(24:09):
way for me to
be a helper and a healer.
Mhmm. I'm in the process of,
I have a long term relationship right now,
which is
very hard for all you folks that are
out there doing it. Keep doing it. Keep
doing it. Read a book together. That's one
thing that's helped us out a lot.
And she's a healer. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
(24:30):
She's she does lymphatic
drainage, post op cancer patients,
bad plastic surgery, and she's moving to Tennessee
at the moment. So
Mhmm. That's pretty long distance. It is. So
trying to figure that out right now. Mhmm.
That's what's right in front of me. Mhmm.
In the meantime,
getting certifications so I can be a better
(24:50):
healer. Okay. Yeah.
And, you know, that was the most difficult
part I found is, you know, a lot
of my teachers and trainers and healers, they
don't even have certifications
and they just are
do what they do because they've done it
for generations.
Sure. I found in Oregon, it's really difficult.
Like, I they yeah. I have to have
some insurance. I have to have some certification.
(25:12):
I had to go and just sign up
for things
so that we could show that we're serious
about the work of food. And not just
which doctors?
Yeah.
Because, you know, there's a lot of that
out there, especially on the Internet. God. It's
freaky. Oh, yeah. I don't even wanna advertise.
No. No. But but you're absolutely correct. That's
(25:32):
why I'm lucky about my friend
because she,
she's board certified in all these different things.
And she sent me all kinds of different
links to go the right way. Mhmm. Mhmm.
That's that's the my biggest next step Nice.
Aside from doing more of this with you.
Yeah. The board accreditation is where it's at.
I have a friend, Cara. She's done a
(25:53):
couple shows on here. I'll make sure you
get to hear them and meet her. She's
an iridologist.
Okay. And she's working with the board natural
path board and things, and it's just out
of this world. Awesome.
Yeah. Yeah. It's
just exploding. But
yeah.
I don't I think listeners, you've got to
hear about the iridology. But, there's so many
(26:13):
mediums of healing that it's just everyday. It's
everyday process, everyday work to do what we
need to do for ourselves
and that kind of flows out and ripples
out into the community and our environment.
And,
also
having friends.
Yeah. You know, and creating relationships. Don't be
afraid
(26:34):
to create a relationship with someone you don't
know.
True. Seriously.
That is well said.
And we are good to go. Thank you,
Ben, for being here with us. Absolutely. My
pleasure. Thank you for having me. Yeah. We'll
do it again. Absolutely.
K. Sweet. Thank you, listeners.
Thank you listeners for tuning in.
If you are all ready, we have another
show of the Quality Living with Peaceful Support
program.
I think we're at our hundredth episode.
We definitely have a couple of shows that
we play purposely
a couple of times throughout the year just
because it's such good information for all of
(00:35):
us to
hear. And sometimes,
I know radio, we don't always listen to
the same station. So
this may be one of them. Anyhow,
I am Amanda Whittemore. I am your radio
voice of the Quality Living with Peaceful Support
program, and
thank you to all the donations.
This is a completely volunteer ran station.
(00:59):
Everyone in here comes in just because they
have so much fun and they love being
able to communicate
with our community and beyond.
Our show airs
in the Curry County. Then
also, because of the Internet age, we're able
to have this link, kciw.0rg/quality-living.
(01:25):
You can take that link, put it on
all your social media. You can put it
anywhere in a email, text. Everyone in the
world can listen in with us.
So it's kinda cool.
And,
if you have yet to hear what the
quality living show is all about, it's just
as the name is, quality living. What is
(01:46):
it? How do we find it?
Where does it come from? Can we
bottle it up and make more?
Pretty sure we can and it's within each
one of us as a human bottle.
So thank you everyone out there for doing
your part and making the Curry County the
best county to live in here, at least
in Oregon.
(02:07):
And if you have any questions,
we highly recommend you email
contact@kciw.org
or call in (541)
661-4098.
I've had one call in, and that was
pretty fun. We've had call in guests. So
if you're thinking, oh, I have the best
(02:28):
guest for this show,
we're right here. Call in,
walk down the stairs, come into the station,
and we will invite you into our super
cool new remodeled room. Thank you, Mike. We
appreciate that, and thank you for doing sound.
We know that your schedule is super occupied
with all your activities, so thank you for
being here.
And, also, while we're saying thank you, we're
(02:49):
gonna thank our guest.
We have our
super special guest that came all the way
from the Gold Beach area, Pistol River,
Ben McQuaid.
Thank you for being here, Ben.
Thank you for having me. Yes. I looked,
to be respectfully interrogated.
Perfect. You came to the right spot. I
(03:11):
would tell you what.
Oh my heavens. Yeah. Well, so
I
fortunately,
when I first moved into town, I got
to work with Ben at the Tatooine Lodge,
super famous place in the area. If nobody
knows about it, it's a hidden secret.
Go find it. It's super cool. And so
I really got to learn some really special
(03:33):
qualities about Ben and I just really appreciate
who you are as a being. And so
thanks for being so supportive. And thank you
for having me. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.
I feel the exact same way about you.
Right on.
And speaking about just better living in general,
we are two examples
of
people who have made each other better just
(03:53):
through friendship.
Totally. Yeah. Completely. Yeah. That's for that is
true. Thanks for bringing that to
to the surface. Oh, yeah. No. It's the
most important, you know,
part about it.
I think one of the things about here
that a lot of people miss on
is there's people that come here from all
(04:14):
kinds of different places, all different walks of
life, all different socioeconomic
classes,
and don't realize how similar
that we are. Mhmm. Mhmm. And I think
that's a really big point to make,
in our conversation today. So Absolutely. And from
a simple,
like, really unique
situation about us as friends is we worked
(04:35):
at the Tittudes in Laws together.
We both sought out something a little bit
more for each other. Mhmm. Said to each
other what our goals were, encourage each other
to make those goals, and we both did.
Mhmm. And now we're here to talk about
them. I know. That's the best part about
it.
So, people, you can do it too. It's
for real. It's accountability buddies. Yep. That's a
that's a great way to put it, actually.
(04:57):
I've never heard that. It's my favorite new
word.
Yes. Well, tell our listeners, Ben. Share with
them how you even got to the Brookings,
Curry County area.
Well, my family has been here for
thirty
eight years. My grandmother came from Ireland.
They retired to Santa Cruz in the late
(05:18):
eighties
and it got too busy for them, which
I wish they could see it now because
Oh my geez. Yeah. I still have a
cousin who felt it. So there's that. Okay.
Alright. So they moved to Port Orford because
it reminded my grandmother of home. Yeah. So
the Port Orford area reminded my grandmother who
came from Athlone, Ireland
of being home.
(05:38):
I came here when I was 15 for
the first time, and I thought they were
all crazy.
There was nobody my age. It's like the
CIA took everyone that was born in the
seventies out of here. That's true. No cute
girls at the time.
So I happily went back to live with
my father in Boston Nice. Which is where
I'm originally from. Right. Yeah.
Yep. Yeah. Let me close the curtains. Yeah.
(06:00):
Right? But I have now been here sorry
to interrupt. I had now been here, full
time for fifteen years.
Mhmm.
Wow. In the Golden Gate Bridge. Yeah. I
came from Key West,
Florida, where I was at for eleven years.
I made it out of life, as I
like to say, and came for Christmas, and
(06:21):
I stayed to take care of my grandfather.
And I have not left
because of a lot of the wonderful things
that are here. The amount of support.
Yes. Yeah. Absolutely.
That was a 100%,
a reason aside from family. My family is
split, you know, coast to coast.
But,
friends that I've met here,
(06:43):
just random people, honestly. Mhmm.
Especially here in the Brookings area, there is
so much support
for so many different things. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.
It's the one thing that I really didn't
even know knew I had no idea that
it existed.
Like, I knew,
you know, what having fun was. I knew
(07:03):
what friends were or groups or activities or
being invited to stuff.
I didn't understand the support of
having a goal, bettering myself, and having people
guide you through it and, like, literally, physically,
every way possible support you to meet your
goals the whole way instead of deterring you
(07:25):
to go off and do some wild and
crazy thing that you know is not gonna
go
to a trickle,
which I've done a lot of a lot
of times. But this is the first experience.
Yes. No. As have I. And coming from
a city
environment and then to a
rural environment,
it just it's a more concentration of connection
(07:47):
if you really let it be. Yeah. It's,
you know, it's hard maybe
because people are can be very in
their own space. Mhmm. But because
we're in smaller communities, I think we have
the ability
to mend fences a lot better
and make it easier, you know? Would it
lend me some sugar? I am your neighbor,
(08:08):
you know,
because you're so close and you're Or maybe
you're far away and you live in a
ranch or, you know, but someone saved your
cow or
Exactly. Whatever it could be. I mean, I've
heard so many stories in all the years
that I've been here.
And,
they've all brought me closer to people that
I never thought
that I'd ever meet
(08:29):
or never mind call friends or anything like
that in my life.
Wow. Yeah.
And the industry that you're in
The many.
Right. Exactly.
I know. We don't really ever I mean
I'm just kidding. Okay. But in my brain,
it's like it's like just part of the
whole, you know? Sure. But, you know, I
(08:49):
we all yes. Tell us about your activities.
So,
I have been in the restaurant business most
of my life. My grandparents
that I was talking about earlier, they had
a Howard Johnson's back east.
Howard Johnson. You told me about this. Yeah.
So I think there's I think there's two
left. Mike, you might know about this,
in the world or but they were the
(09:12):
when Eisenhower did the whole track of the
highways, they needed a place like motor lodges
for people that were driving to go, not
only eat, but to stay.
So that was the concept. So my grandfather
ran the restaurant and my grandmother ran the
motor lodge. Oh, wow.
And these were hardworking people back then. And
I remember thinking that they were rich because
(09:34):
they had a, like, a bigger house than
we did. Yeah. But they had five kids.
Wow. So they needed a big house. Of
course.
So they just really worked hard.
My grandmother's a true great immigrant story,
coming from Ireland. I trace it all back
through ancestry,
and they instilled the work ethic that you
(09:54):
have as well. And that's one of the
reasons you and I became friends
working together since we both gave a bloop
about things. Yeah. You know? So Yeah. It
makes a huge difference when you have people
that you're working with have the same ethics
and values and wish for everyone to succeed,
not just because it's their shift or they
(10:15):
have a paycheck.
It's for the bigger picture of the whole
project.
Yep. And why you're there, you know, and
just to make people happy. Exactly. And or
help make people happy. Be part of it.
You know? And that's,
I think one thing that I'm so proud
of you about for all the things that
you have done,
and you have also inspired me to carry
(10:37):
on in that same fold in a different
space.
Nice. Nice. Yeah. I'm glad to be of
service. Oh,
it's wonderful. Yeah. So we all should be,
you know? That that is another huge thing,
you know? Mhmm.
Assisting anybody that you can. Mhmm. Opening a
door. Totally. You know, saying hello.
Just being polite
(10:58):
in general
goes a very, very, very long way. Mhmm.
I used to,
tease my exes, my ex mother-in-law.
She was very guarded, very, you know, and
I said, you know what? If you were
stuck in an elevator with somebody with an
exact opposite opinion Right. Right. By the time
you go to the elevator, you're probably gonna
come out with some sort of understanding.
(11:20):
Yeah. And she she agreed. Yeah. Absolutely.
I like that. It is. Because that does
happen. It does. And it shouldn't have to
be forced. Mm-mm. You know, we should force
it, you know, not force it upon each
other, but and you're not telling yourself no
by not helping yourself out first. You're you're
telling
everybody else yes.
(11:41):
Right. Right. You know? And you're in yourself
at the same time because we can't help
people if we can't help ourselves.
At all. Yeah. It's difficult. It is so
difficult.
And to learn that it's okay
to just have a moment and to get
better in whatever way I need to in
order to be able to, maybe tomorrow or
(12:03):
the next day, show somebody else how I
did that. I don't even have to do
it for them or with them. Just by
doing myself
is actually almost sometimes more help than doing
it for them.
I mean, entirely it is. But Sure. Well,
like like you're saying about being of service,
and
I think that is extremely important, but you
(12:24):
have to service yourself first. Oh, yeah. And
that's, again, that's not being selfish at all.
Mm-mm. You know? That's saying yes to you
and then saying yes to the universe.
Exactly. And it's important. And that's, you know,
kinda how the show even got here and,
you know, that just
taking a moment to acknowledge
(12:44):
how do we even create quality in our
life,
to think about it? It's like, you know,
we think about our time management. So we
sit down to write out our calendar. But
do we think about, like, our quality management?
Great point. Great point. Right? Yeah. Do we
set
our goals? Like, am I gonna smile five
times more today? Or,
(13:04):
you know, I don't know, different things of
like, what are some things that bring more
quality into your life?
Things like you just said, rewriting my schedule.
That's a great way to put it because
schedules are great. You know, when you follow
something and you're on time and you're doing
everything that you need to do and accomplishments
(13:26):
feel good. Mhmm. But
are they all about you?
Right. Or are they all about
maybe some other stuff thrown in there? Like
you said, like smiles. Yeah. Or I mean,
it sounds corny maybe, but
it's really, really true. Mhmm. You know, how
many times have you lied today? Like, little
little tiny Right. To your to our selves
(13:47):
even. Like, oh, I can have three chocolate
donuts today. I'm gonna feel fine. Oh, it's
only a stomach chisme. Yeah.
Yeah. Exactly. But
it's not. And when you can put that
on your list, you know? Mhmm. I haven't
lied all day. Right. And how many times
have I smiled today? How many doors have
I opened? How many, you know,
(14:07):
that kind of thing. And then but, again,
it has to start with you. It really
does. Because
what have you done, and I'm speaking for
myself, you know, like, what have I done
today Mhmm.
To make myself a better person? Mhmm. You
know? Just period. And I appreciate you letting
this be part of one. Yeah. Absolutely. No.
Seriously. Totally.
(14:28):
And The more go ahead. Nope. You go
first. No. The more because the more we
can share, I'm just about done, with
other people
about ourselves willingly, I find. Mhmm.
And if it is the truth
and if it is a positive thing,
put that on your list. Yeah.
It's a good thing.
It's a really good thing.
(14:50):
I like it.
And what does the word quality
signify to you?
Positivity mostly.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Honestly.
Because you can have quality of all kinds
of things.
So true. You can have quality of, say,
you know, I'm rich. I got all this
money. Right. Is that quality? Maybe not.
(15:15):
It's quality to me is the positive truth.
Wow. Yeah. This is we're almost at, I
think, maybe our hundredth show. And I think
that's the first time we had the answer
to ask everybody.
I love it. I appreciate it. Yeah. I
mean, it goes back to you and I
having a conversation before we got on air,
you know, about
(15:36):
surviving versus living. Mhmm. And they are two
completely different things. We started out that way,
you know, because
that's another thing that is not necessarily a
class issue.
You know?
Generally, lower class people, I grew up pretty
poor. You know what I mean? But I
grew up in a very hard working family.
Right. There was a lot of love. Yeah.
(15:57):
But there was a lot of addiction. There
was a lot of all these other things.
Mhmm. So you learn how to survive
through all of that and you get caught
up into that as opposed to actually living
and doing things like we were talking about
just a little bit
ago about putting on your list for yourself.
Exactly.
Yeah. It makes a huge difference.
(16:20):
It's like out of this world different. I
can't even imagine.
I mean, actually I did. I drove, I
went February,
we're in October, and I went to where
I used to live
in Central America.
And of course things have grown, it's been
five or more years that I've even been
there. Sure. And
(16:40):
I told my guy, I said, just keep
driving.
I didn't even get out of the car.
I was so I couldn't believe
how I lived
and how I treated myself.
Yep. And I have gone through that not
in a
when I try to go back to California
in Santa Cruz. Yeah. Because I moved there,
(17:03):
when I was eight.
I left this out of the story. My
my mom and her best friend, Jan, it
was like Thelma, Louise, and Ben. And we
drove across country because my grandparents had already
bought their house to retire in.
And
left
in the middle, after my sophomore in high
school.
And my very good friend, Noel Levine, he
(17:24):
is a Buddhist teacher now and a mentor.
He's wonderful.
Was one of two friends who told me
to get on the plane. Right. All my
other friends said, stay with me. You can
sleep on the couch. You can do whatever.
Yeah.
And two of my friends said, you know
what? This is a gift. Mhmm. Take it.
You can always come back.
And the best my one of my mother's
(17:45):
hardest decisions,
one of her best decisions,
and two of my best friends giving me
a great decision.
Yeah. Yeah. That's some real peaceful support right
there. It's and it's real, and it's got
me here. Dang.
Yeah.
Listen to the good people, folks. Listen to
the good people. It is for real. Like
these ones right here on quality living with
(18:07):
peaceful support here on the KCIW show, you're
talking with Ben McQueede
and Amanda Whittemore and we're simply just having
some good conversation about quality living and peaceful
support and
learning about Ben and hopefully even maybe, I
don't know.
Well, first, let's we'll tell you that later.
How about, what's happening in your world? Like,
(18:30):
what's coming up for you now? Where are
you now? Are you still in the restaurant
industry? Or what tell me. I mean, I
know some things, but I want the listeners
to know. Sure. Sure. Sure. I am still
in the restaurant industry
at the Landing North.
I also sell real estate,
and I also do
elder care.
(18:50):
I worked at Shore Pines for a while.
Mhmm.
It wasn't the best situation for me as
far as how it was being run
and that sort of thing.
But
one of the things that,
you have helped me with is reaching out
into an the new part of healing. Mhmm.
Because it's I'm a big brother. I'm the
(19:11):
oldest of six kids. Mhmm. I changed all
their diapers.
So it's in my nature to nurture. Mhmm.
And
wanting to continue that in the best possible
way that I can. Mhmm. Mhmm. You know?
The restaurant business will always be in me.
Like I said, I grew up in it.
Yeah. It's cool. I was a little bullheaded
kid running around begging the kids for, you
(19:32):
know, begging the cooks rather for food.
But at the same time, I've owned my
own restaurant here eleven years ago, and it's
ironic because it's the same one I work
at now. Right. I really like being the
hired gun. I sleep much better. Mhmm. And
getting other avenues
(19:54):
solidified at the moment as far as a
healing and helping role. Mhmm.
Mhmm. You know,
the whole comparison, you know, with the youth
and the siblings and the elders,
It's like,
I I didn't have kids. I don't think
you had kids. Now I'm uncle Ben. Yeah.
I'm I'm auntie Mandita. Like, you know, because
my family's, you know No. I'm still not
(20:15):
auntie. Yeah. Exactly. So, yeah, we're the aunties
and uncles and now we get, I've been
gifted like grandbabies.
Nice. You know? Because
not that they're babies, but because we have
so much love and nurturing
for them as like our own,
you know? Because they
they do things differently. They need different things,
(20:36):
and their attention that they need from us
is different.
Yes. You know? It's almost like a,
do you have a lot of cousins?
Yeah. I
mean, not a lot, but I've got them.
And for me,
growing up, they were my brothers and sisters.
That's exactly right. I would call my aunt
or my cousins. To me, it's a similar
(20:57):
relationship. Yeah. You know what I mean?
You get to go home and leave. Yep.
Same thing with, you know, and a tio.
Yep.
Here you go. Exactly.
Do the best we can, then
yeah. You ever need me.
Anytime. I'm the first person you call. Exactly.
Yep. Yep.
And so with the real estate too,
(21:18):
how is that? What's that avenue about with
you?
It's good. I'm lucky to work in a
small office,
that is all family run.
We're all family or friends.
It's more of a part time thing for
me Mhmm.
For a lot of reasons,
but it's something that I enjoy because
(21:40):
it's gotten
me closer to a lot of people for
other reasons. That's how I got into elder
care. That's how I got into that sort
of thing because you find all these people
that just have nobody.
Yeah. You know, and you're trying to sell
their house for them and, you know, maybe
their husband or wife has passed or
so there's a lot of emotion that goes
into it. Mhmm. And my, one of my
(22:01):
brothers in Boston,
Matthew does it. I remember calling him when
I was first thinking about it, And I
said, what's up, man? Mhmm. And he's like,
listen, there's gonna be people that wanna flip
houses and that sort of thing. He goes,
but there's a lot of emotion that goes
into it. Mhmm. You're giving people,
you know, sustainability
and comfort
or you're getting them out of a situation.
(22:22):
Yeah. Or you're I mean, there's so many
things about it. So, therefore, I'll always keep
my foot in that door. Mhmm.
But that's how I kinda got into the
back into the healing process. Right. Right. Right.
And how can people get in contact with
you? You
can reach me at my e personal email
(22:43):
at b mcquuade, so bmcquaid,alllowercase,number73@gmail.com.
So, bmcquade,lowercase,number73@gmail.com.
I will answer any questions you have about
anything that I have spoken about
(23:05):
or things that maybe you just have questions
about. They don't have to be about
real estate,
restaurants. It can just be about any personal
thing that I've said or shared, and I
would be happy to share that with you.
Beautiful.
Lovely.
And how about do you want just email
only phone number?
(23:26):
My phone you can text me also at
(541)
373-1968.
That is (541)
373-1968.
Nice. Nice.
And
are there any current goals?
Because we always have goals, like, since I
(23:47):
met you. You know? We just keep them
going. We knock them down. Like, what are
you working on right now? We do. Because
you yeah.
Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off
there.
One of my goals is this,
to do more of this with you in
particular. Yeah.
Because I've always,
again, wanted to I think it's another best
(24:09):
way for me to
be a helper and a healer.
Mhmm. I'm in the process of,
I have a long term relationship right now,
which is
very hard for all you folks that are
out there doing it. Keep doing it. Keep
doing it. Read a book together. That's one
thing that's helped us out a lot.
And she's a healer. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
(24:30):
She's she does lymphatic
drainage, post op cancer patients,
bad plastic surgery, and she's moving to Tennessee
at the moment. So
Mhmm. That's pretty long distance. It is. So
trying to figure that out right now. Mhmm.
That's what's right in front of me. Mhmm.
In the meantime,
getting certifications so I can be a better
(24:50):
healer. Okay. Yeah.
And, you know, that was the most difficult
part I found is, you know, a lot
of my teachers and trainers and healers, they
don't even have certifications
and they just are
do what they do because they've done it
for generations.
Sure. I found in Oregon, it's really difficult.
Like, I they yeah. I have to have
some insurance. I have to have some certification.
(25:12):
I had to go and just sign up
for things
so that we could show that we're serious
about the work of food. And not just
which doctors?
Yeah.
Because, you know, there's a lot of that
out there, especially on the Internet. God. It's
freaky. Oh, yeah. I don't even wanna advertise.
No. No. But but you're absolutely correct. That's
(25:32):
why I'm lucky about my friend
because she,
she's board certified in all these different things.
And she sent me all kinds of different
links to go the right way. Mhmm. Mhmm.
That's that's the my biggest next step Nice.
Aside from doing more of this with you.
Yeah. The board accreditation is where it's at.
I have a friend, Cara. She's done a
(25:53):
couple shows on here. I'll make sure you
get to hear them and meet her. She's
an iridologist.
Okay. And she's working with the board natural
path board and things, and it's just out
of this world. Awesome.
Yeah. Yeah. It's
just exploding. But
yeah.
I don't I think listeners, you've got to
hear about the iridology. But, there's so many
(26:13):
mediums of healing that it's just everyday. It's
everyday process, everyday work to do what we
need to do for ourselves
and that kind of flows out and ripples
out into the community and our environment.
And,
also
having friends.
Yeah. You know, and creating relationships. Don't be
afraid
(26:34):
to create a relationship with someone you don't
know.
True. Seriously.
That is well said.
And we are good to go. Thank you,
Ben, for being here with us. Absolutely. My
pleasure. Thank you for having me. Yeah. We'll
do it again. Absolutely.
K. Sweet. Thank you, listeners.
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