April 11, 2025 • 39 mins
Come and listen while Host Tina Spoletini a Success Stylist from In Full Bloom Styling & Coaching chat with Today's guest Jenny Leroux
Meet Jenny Leroux, who turns confidence-building into a no-nonsense adventure for grown-ups and a fun-filled expedition for kids! When she’s not busy being a secret superhero (her superpower: boosting confidence with just a smile), she's a confidence coach—and sometimes referred to as the “Confidence cheerleader” by those who know her best. With a knack for turning everyday moments into confidence-boosting lessons, Jenny knows how to sprinkle a dash of positivity here and a pinch of perseverance there. She's here to share her lighthearted yet impactful approach to empowering women and nurturing confident kids—armed with anecdotes, wisdom, and maybe a magic wand or two. Please welcome the fabulous and fun, Jenny Leroux!
Jenny LaRue turns confidence building into a no-nonsense adventure for grown-ups and fun-filled expedition for kids as a confidence coach and cheerleader. With 22 years of experience in early childhood education, she shares her expertise on nurturing confidence from preschoolers to entrepreneurs.
• Confidence is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced like a muscle
• Different approaches work for different age groups - games for children, guided questions for teens, mindset work for adults
• The first 15 minutes of your day determine your outlook and confidence level
• Smiling is "the most confident thing we can wear" and creates a positive ripple effect
• Expanding your comfort zone gradually is more effective than trying to step completely outside it
• The CONFIDENCE method includes Courageous communication, Owning who you are, and Nurturing positive thoughts
• Confident people create confident children, relationships, and communities
• We often live on other people's terms rather than aligning with what we truly want
• Small wins build self-efficacy and help overcome fears, failures and rejections
Website: www.raisingconfidence.ca
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and
ideas to inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas that Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen, by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
To find out more about themovement, visit divasthatcarecom
(00:24):
.
After the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
One just has to pick up a magazine or turn on a
television to see that, as women, we are bombarded daily with
media images of female physicalperfection, setting up the most
unrealistic of expectations asto how we should look.
No wonder female bodyconfidence is falling while
incidents of eating disordersare on the rise.
What's most alarming is the waythis affects young girls.
(00:55):
A reduced sense of self-worthcan create anxiety, stress, even
depression, causingrelationship issues, while
potentially impairing academicand job performance.
In direct contrast, confidencein Bloom is designed to
reinforce the truth and reassureevery woman who has ever felt
inadequate, unworthy or tossedaside because of how she looks,
(01:18):
that no matter her age, shape orbackground, you matter.
You are enough.
Now I, tina Spoletini, a womanof substance, insist women
deserve to be happy, confident,successful and totally in love
with themselves in their ownbodies, just the way they are.
Through an ongoing series ofintriguing conversations with
women from all walks of life,who are all extraordinary in
(01:41):
their own right, we will embarkupon a journey of ultimate
self-acceptance and empowerment.
Together, we'll share stories,laugh, learn, maybe even shed a
few tears when it becomes clearjust how far many women have
come to realize how wonderfullife is when you stand in your
own power, feeling fantastic inyour own skin.
(02:03):
Jenny LaRue is my guest today.
Meet Jenny, who turnsconfidence building into a
no-nonsense adventure forgrown-ups and fun-filled
expedition for kids when she'snot busy being a secret
superhero, her superheroboosting confidence with just a
smile.
She's a confidence coach andsometimes referred to as the
(02:26):
confidence cheerleader by thosewho know her best.
With a knack for turningeveryday moments into
confidence-boosting lessons,jenny knows how to sprinkle a
dash of positivity here and apinch of perseverance there.
She's here to share herlighthearted yet impactful
approach to empowering women andnurturing confident kids.
(02:48):
Armed with anecdotes, wisdomand maybe a magic wand or two,
please welcome the fabulous andfun Jenny LaRue.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So how are you?
I'm wonderful.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
How are you, tina?
I'm doing very well, thank you.
You are a confidencecheerleader.
I would like to know how youbecame this confidence
cheerleader and who youcheerlead Perfect.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Yeah, I love raising confidence.
Everything is about confidence.
I started, probably when mychildren were small, just to
gain more confidence and makingsure that I'm well and whole in
my own self-assurance, and so Icould pass that on to my
(03:36):
children.
So I think that's probably whenit really really hit me for me
to, kind of, you know, start tothink about that, and so, yeah,
that's when I started to topretend, not pretend to really
want to raise confidence inpeople and I think that it's a
really great skill to learn.
(03:58):
It's not something we're bornwith.
Maybe some people think thatmaybe we are, maybe we're not,
but for sure it's a skill tolearn.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
So absolutely, I do agree, and I think we're all
born with a certain amount ofconfidence, but it's like a
muscle, like every other musclethat we have, where you have to
build it you know it gets brokenor it gets damaged and it's up
to us to rebuild it.
You know, give it that regrowthand I'm sure you know this
(04:27):
because I mean you work in aschool, you see, with all the
kids as confidence grows, itbecomes different, right.
Like it becomes wow, like youweren't the kid you were five
years ago or whatever, like.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Whatever, the story is right like, whatever the
story is right.
Definitely and I think that'smy favorite part of being a
preschool teacher was that I wastheir first experience at
school.
We had a whole year to reallygive them that confidence, for
them to to learn the skills thatthey need to go into into
(05:01):
kindergarten.
So it was really important forme to be confident myself in my
abilities, especially at work,in my personal life as well, so
that I could pass that on justlike a ripple effect.
If you're confident, then youpass that on to your children
and then they pass it on totheir friends at school and it
(05:21):
just keeps going just like apositive thing.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
So yeah, it's great, yeah, that's wonderful.
So you work with both kids andadults.
Am I right, correct?
Speaker 3 (05:31):
So I've worked quite a few.
I've worked 22 years withchildren in early childhood and
in those years I've also doneyouth work with the youth,
especially girls.
I think girls are veryvulnerable to low self-esteem
and low confidence.
So I had started some girlsworkshops and built their
(05:55):
confidence through skills.
Giving them skills, giving themsome ways of thinking, positive
thoughts, all those kinds ofthings that are really, really
important in life when you'regrowing up and maybe not have
those skills.
So wow, after I've decided tobranch out a little bit more
(06:16):
into the adult world as well,where I am raising, helping
entrepreneurs to raiseconfidence in themselves.
So, wow, a really greatadventure?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, I bet it would be, and I, and I'm sure I mean
it's different, right, and allthree of those groups you're
you're dealing with differentcharacteristics and traits.
I'm wondering how, like what?
How does your approach differfrom each group?
Speaker 3 (06:48):
you have to adapt, like the teachings in the
program for age appropriate, sowith the parents and the
children say zero to five.
It's a lot of like games.
You know you want to make itfun for them.
So when you're playing a game,just say the mirror game, we can
do that one because it appliesto all.
(07:10):
You start with just having themlook at themselves in the
mirror and just saying somereally fun stuff about
themselves.
It could be funny like oh, lookat my cute nose, right, you
make it really fun.
Look how luscious my hair is inmy cute nose, right, you make
it really fun, Look how lusciousmy hair is.
And then you can, you know, addvocabulary to the words that
(07:31):
you're using with them.
And as teenagers it gets alittle bit different, because
teenagers can be a little bitmore stubborn, they're more into
their head.
The emotions and the hormonesare all in there, so that
becomes a little bit different.
They might not appreciate youbeing in front of the mirror
with them to have fun in themirror.
So then you give them differentskills.
And I know that when my boysbecause boys as well can suffer
(07:55):
from low self-esteem, I wouldwrite little messages or
questions on the mirrorno-transcript many other
(08:27):
different aspects.
There's imposter syndrome,there's your perfectionism.
I know as women, we, our bodies, are changing, especially if
you've had children.
So those are or menopause,those are aspects of our lives
that are happening and we reallyhave to get into the mindset
that we have to accept thischange that's happening for us
(08:49):
and I think it's important thatwhen we do our mirror technique
as adults and as women that,like, we have the knowledge to
really just say stop, stoptalking negative about myself
and just be happy and positive,especially if you have girls.
You don't want to show themthat you're standing on this
(09:11):
scale every morning and they'rewatching.
You know can happen throughsocial media or what society has
created for us which could benegative.
So we have to be stronger thanthat.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, and that's not always easy, right, which would
be why you're coaching womenthrough that.
Yeah, I relate with that.
What's an everyday moment thatmost people overlook, that you
love turning into a confidenceboosting lesson?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
An everyday moment, just the routine of the morning,
when you get up in the morning.
That's so important.
On how you get up in themorning, are you thinking of
what you lack or areas of yourlife where you don't have
confidence?
And maybe that's what you wakeup with and it's okay to do that
.
It's fine, do that, it's fine.
(10:12):
We'll just look into that alittle bit more and see what
areas.
Is it parenting?
Is it maybe a lack at work?
Is it you wanting to get into anew relationship?
And you need a little bit moreconfidence in that.
So, once you start your day,we'll make sure that you have a
really good routine, because Ibelieve the first 15 minutes is
(10:34):
so important.
It'll like determine your wholeday and 15 minutes as well.
Like, what are you thinkingabout when you go to bed?
I know, for me, confidence isputting my pee-proof underwear
before I go to a comedy club,like that is, yeah, I need to
need e-proof underwear because Iknow that I will drip.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
That's, that's.
I mean it's not funny, but it'sfunny, I know it's reality.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
We'll just call it reality.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Well, yeah, I just yeah.
You're right Now.
Can you share a time when justa smile made a big difference
for someone?
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Oh for sure I know that.
You know, sometimes we don'tknow like in my line of work at
school, I don't know what goeson at home for these children,
but I know that I'm there forthem and so I'm a smiley person.
I love when people smile.
I love to see people's teeth.
(11:35):
I'm big on teeth, but a smilecan make you know someone's day
and you don't know what they'regoing through.
So I encourage everybody tosmile.
I think smiling is probably themost confident thing we can
wear.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So yeah, it's true, right, I mean, sometimes we just
need to look at someone who'ssmiling and it helps us sort of
put the day behind us or put youknow whatever's bringing us
down behind us.
We can kind of forget about itfor a short time.
Exactly, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You have to be the leader, right, so you be the one
to start the smile and it'llripple, because then you're
making somebody feel better andthen they can go home and make
their spouse feel better ortheir children feel better, like
you.
Just have to be that kind ofperson in the world, just a
green person.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I agree, and it's like you said, it's like a
ripple effect.
Right, they might not go homeand say, oh, jenny, made me
smile today, but they will gohome smiling and that smile will
then you, you know affect therest of their, their evening at
home.
Yeah, what's the mostunexpected way that you've ever
helped someone get confidence,or like build their confidence?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Um, I think it's just in the fun, like I use a lot of
humor and I think you know whydo we take ourselves so
seriously?
Honestly, like we're here, weshould have fun.
So, yeah, just making it fun.
So I remember a time where itwas just this game that we were
playing and it was just a beangame and so I did it with the
(13:11):
children and it was a bean thatwe had to keep.
So that was kind of like ourkind of our medicine we'll say
we'll call it our medicine andwe had to go out and give our
beans away.
But at the end if you didn'thave any beans, it means you
didn't have any steam foryourself, like you gave away
(13:31):
everything.
So how can you take care ofyourself when you, if you can't
take care of yourself, you can'ttake care of others?
So having just that knowledgethat you have to care for
yourself, so your confidencecomes first before you can even
like do anything else.
So just through games and stuff, it's been really fun to build
that confidence with those girlsand I really enjoyed that part
(13:53):
of it.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Oh yeah, I love that and it's so true, especially
with girls, right, you can'tlook after anyone else if you
don't look after yourself first.
That is like one of the mostimportant messages right to give
.
I mean not just to girls, butyou know, women are generally
more nurturing and caring, andso you know, but I I mean there
(14:15):
are a lot of dads that are thethe main caregiver, you know.
We all need to know that.
We all need to know that, yes,I need to care for myself before
I can care for others andspread my love.
Right, if I don't have love,then I can't give love.
Exactly that way.
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I know, sorry, go ahead.
No, you go ahead, I have aquestion so you?
go ahead.
When I was little to, like youknow, I was labeled shy, which I
was like I am Okay.
I guess my teachers think I'mshy because I'm quiet.
I didn't think I was shy, butyou know, we have to be careful,
careful with labels as well.
(14:54):
But yeah, so shyness, you know,growing up with that title and
label, it was like that reallytook away my confidence.
And I'm sure there's situationswhere, like I remember, it was,
you know, the Olympics here Ihad a chance to walk the torch
in front of my whole school, butI could not even get myself to
(15:16):
the front to even do that, so Imissed opportunities.
That would have been reallyspecial for me to remember, even
though maybe no one elseremembered, but I remember that
significantly, I missed outbecause I didn't have the
confidence.
But yeah, you know, you have tobe very careful with children
and what you label them and whatthey hear, what they see.
(15:37):
They're sponges, so it's veryimportant.
But I did gain my confidenceback.
I mean, I was, I liked, youknow, speaking in front of the
class.
I had no problem with that, um,I also was in theater, I was in
music, I was, you know, in aband, um, so those things, I
think you have to be careful,especially with the children.
(15:59):
But I want to know, like, howdo you, you know, maybe define
confidence?
I think it's different foreveryone else, I think so too.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
And I say, I mean, I thinkconfidence is how you see
yourself.
Right, it's, it's how you know,like, how do you see yourself,
how do you, you know, portrayyourself out to the world right,
when someone walks into theroom, you look at them and you
go, oh, you know they just wantto be hiding, or you know they
(16:29):
feel like they belong here, orthey think they own the room or
you know, like that to me isconfidence, right, it's how you
see yourself Exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
I know that I had labeled myself as social, with
social anxiety, but in the end Ireally don't have social
anxiety.
But I told that to myself forthe longest time because walking
in a room, I would feel theanxiety.
I would feel, you know, justreally really like I wanted to
hide.
But then I had to change theword anxiety to excitement.
(17:03):
So when I walk into a room now,it's like I'm excited to be
here and then I'm able to go upto people and say hi, you know,
those are skills you learn, youknow right, and you, you know
it's funny that you say that,because nervous and anxiousness
like anxiety, those feelings arethe same, right, and so it's
what we tell ourselves, themeaning of exactly yeah, exactly
(17:26):
.
So.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Yeah, those are all skills to learn, yeah, so true
and and listening to the storythat you're telling yourself
right, oh, I feel it, I feelanxious, right?
So now, why is that Right?
We need to rephrase that andsay, oh, I'm not feeling anxious
, no, I'm just feeling excitedbecause they feel the same.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
We're really good liars to ourselves.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Isn't that true, right?
We are our own worst enemies,right.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, yeah, let's set us up for success.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Absolutely, Absolutely.
Now in your bio you mentionedsprinkling positivity and a
pinch of perseverance.
What are your go to tools oryour habits to do that for
yourself?
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Oh, for sure, I do a lot of meditation.
I hang out with really positivepeople around me.
My connections are alwaysbringing me something, something
positive, and if they don't,that means they're toxic and I
let them go.
I'm careful with just thethings that I read or the things
(18:33):
that I listen to.
Like I don't listen to the news.
If there's something superimportant, someone will tell me,
but it's just reallysurrounding myself with
positivity.
I need that because or else Ican, you know, fall down pretty
pretty quick.
Um, and that's what I knowabout myself.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Um, so if some people are like that as well, like
it's just practice and justmaking sure that, yeah, you
create a really sane environmentfor yourself and surround
yourself with really good peopleand it's and it's true, like
you know, when you say you have,you need to know your, your
life, you need to know howyou're going to handle, um, you
(19:11):
know situations around you andbeing present with yourself.
That's how you learn it right.
It's not just something thatyou learn over time, it's a
matter of you know, be presentwith yourself, really understand
what's happening inside you,feel what's going on and what
triggers it.
Right, good or bad?
(19:31):
Right, we need to know that weneed in order for us to feel
confident.
We have to know.
We have to know ourselves.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yes, and I've also known, like I've learned, how to
say no, and if it's somethingthat's not a hell yes, it's a no
honestly.
And so I'm able to evaluatethat, because I used to say yes
to everything.
I was a people pleaser yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And then I get to either thesituation or the event and I'm
like I don't want to be here.
So now I'm filtering out what Iwant to do and it has to be a
(20:02):
hell yes for sure, because ifit's not yeah, it's not worth my
time, it's not worth your time,and the thing is you don't
enjoy it, although I will say Iremember years ago not so much
today, but years ago.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I remember thinking I don't feel like going, do I
have to go?
And then I get there and I havethe best time.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And so then I used to tell myself those are the
events that you want to be at,right.
But over time I felt like I wasexpecting to have that good
time, even if I didn't want togo Right.
So I think I mean you'redefinitely onto something.
We need to, like you know, pickand choose really carefully
where we want to put ourpresence Right and and not put
(20:45):
our presence, but not notnecessarily.
I mean the hell yes has, youknow, a little bit of a gray
area.
I guess going right like thenose, those are those right when
you know you don't want to bethere, it's an easy no, but that
that hell yes has to have alittle bit of gray area For sure
?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
So well, let's talk about the comfort zone, right?
I mean, I think that's to methat's where dreams die,
Honestly, you just, I thinkthat's to me that's where dreams
die, honestly, you just, ifyou're staying in there way too
long, it's not healthy at all.
I mean, I stayed there way toolong as well, and I've noticed
that it wasn't months, it wasactually years of my life that I
was wasting.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
So I think the comfort zone is a big one, like
you say.
I think I know what you'resaying, but I'm this is what I'm
really learning about myselfand clients when we stay in our
comfort zone.
That is also where we learn howto expand that comfort zone
right.
Stepping out of your comfortzone isn't really the answer,
because you know you could beputting yourself into danger
right In so many different ways.
(21:56):
I think expanding that comfortzone right, like you know,
instead of taking two stepsforward, take five right.
See how far you can push thatthat you know wall around you
and maybe you know what's theword I'm looking for Sort of
encouraging yourself to you know.
Go's the word I'm looking for.
Sort of encouraging yourself toyou know, go a little bit
further every day.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, and that's what I'm here for.
Sometimes people just need a,you know, a hand, literally like
let's go, let's do it right,because often we stay in our
head and that's where we stay isin our comfort zone.
So if I can be there for peopleto be like, okay, what is your
goals, let's do it, let's takesmall steps.
You don't have to be big, youjust do it a little bit every
(22:39):
day, a little bit every week.
You know you embrace beinguncomfortable, I know it's hard,
but you just have to do it, Imean, and then you celebrate
when you've done it right.
Like we forget to celebrateourselves sometimes and I think
that's really important.
But yeah, I think magic happensoutside of our comfort zone.
(22:59):
So let's get out there.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah, exactly.
And, and I think you know yousaid celebrating that like
celebrate, even if it's one stepover the line, one step, you
know something that you wouldhave never done yesterday.
Right, celebrate that, right,be happy for yourself so that
tomorrow, when you try it againor you try something even more
different, you're more open toit exactly yeah, and you can
(23:26):
learn a lot from children.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
They're not scared right in the beginning, and then
there's a point in our liveswhere all of a sudden we become,
you know, insecure, and then wecompare ourselves to people and
and then it just yeah, justkind of goes down.
But if you look at smallchildren and children in general
, they're just yeah, let's do itright.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, I have three kids and all three of them were
so different, right, I remember.
And then my first two weretwins at, boy-girl twins at that
, and he was always really he,you know, he tried everything,
but he was careful, right, heknew okay, that's a little bit
too risky, whereas my daughter,she would, she didn't think she
(24:06):
just went right.
I remember one time she wasrunning to the swimming pool, my
husband was in the in the pooland she starts running to him,
daddy, daddy, right, well, itwas like she, just she thought
she was gonna run on the water,right, and I'm trying to grab
her because I'm like, no, you'regonna fall.
But she didn't think right,whereas he would have been like,
(24:27):
okay, like running, but thennoticing that you know, the
cement under me is going to cometo an end, so I need to slow
down, not her, she just went andI used to think, oh, my God,
right.
But I, when you, when we talkabout you know, like the comfort
zone, that to me is like youneed to also know what's on the
(24:47):
other side, right, and thensometimes that can hold us back,
which we have to be, you knowvery much aware of.
But if we don't, if we just go.
Then we have no idea how we'regoing to handle life right.
And then that's when anxietyand fear all will set in right,
because we're like, oh my God,how did I get here?
What have I done?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, I really hope to teach people those skills.
So when you get into thosesituations you feel confident
because you've practiced it oryou know you're like, yeah, I
got this, especially as parents,right.
Yeah for sure.
You know we try to sometimescompare ourselves to other
parents, like, oh, my child iswalking already and mine's not,
(25:26):
and it's like, it's okay.
It's okay.
People Like why are we soconcerned about other people?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
They will get there.
About other people.
They will get there, right.
They will get there right.
Yeah, and I remember hearingyou know your son will not be in
diapers when he's five, whenhe's 10, you know, in grade five
.
I remember hearing that and I'mlike I don't know.
I don't know if I believe thatright, because everyone around
me, like I want to, you know,you compare yourself to everyone
around you and how they'redoing things, and well, how can
(25:52):
they manage to get it donealready?
Right, but the reality is beingagain, being present with
yourself.
You know what you're capable ofdoing at this moment, right.
That doesn't mean you won't beable to do more, you know in a
day or two, but right now thisis all you're capable of doing.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
But right now, this is all you're capable of doing,
for sure, I think a big thingtoo is, you know, we sometimes
live life on other people'sterms, right, like people expect
things of us, and that's wherewe feel very insecure because
we're not aligned with what theywant.
We want to align ourselves withwhat we want, and so that took
(26:31):
me a very long time.
I mean, you know, I was marriedand, you know, did everything
for my ex-husband, I stayed forthe kids and then got divorced
and then I didn't.
I felt so free because it waslike.
You know, I think you can growas a couple.
Of course, relationships arevery important, but when you're
disconnected like that andyou're just kind of living as a
(26:53):
zombie, that's not really life.
I don't think no.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And then the thing is that freezes all your emotions,
right, that that just putseverything into, like you know,
a little jar inside you and then, when you feel that freedom,
all of a sudden that jar getsopened and you're like, oh my
god, you know what I could do,like you have all this potential
now, right exactly, yeah andyeah, and then, and then of
course, yeah.
And then confidence.
(27:17):
I mean now you can grow yourconfidence to be who you want to
be and who you're meant to be,because we all know we all have
that purpose, we all have youknow who we are supposed to be.
I love that.
So I was going to ask youwhat's a piece of wisdom you
always find yourself repeating,either to your clients, to your
(27:38):
children or to the kids thatyou're teaching.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah, for sure.
It'd have to be like, like youneed to learn these skills, you
have to practice them and it'sokay.
Okay, like I think it's juststop being so hard on yourself.
I think that's the biggest one.
It's like we're all here tolearn.
Learning is a lifetime process.
(28:02):
I love like personaldevelopment.
I feel like I'm gonna be doingthat for the rest of my life and
I feel really good about, youknow, growing, and so I think
like really the wisdom is justkeep growing and just don't be
so hard on yourself.
Don't take that seriously yeah,I love that.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I love that because I think we do, we, we get caught
up in that, don't we?
The whole like I have to dothis and I have to do that and I
need to do it this way and Ineed to do it better than this.
And yeah, I think I agree withthat.
That's really great advice.
When you are working, whatlights you up the most?
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Seeing people's transformation by far I love.
I love seeing them grow.
In return.
They give me so much as well,and so that's why I do what I do
is just seeing people'stransformation from like the
beginning to the end.
It's like it's like acompletely different person.
They, they, you know kind ofgrow into who they are and I
(29:01):
think that's like the mostbeautiful thing ever.
I think children are the mostbeautiful thing ever.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, just people in general.
Just, let's be happy, I lovethat.
Yeah, just people in general,just let's be happy, yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
And then you know it's funny, like you know, when
you watch kids grow, especially,you know if they grow confident
, right, like if they grow andthey stay in that confidence
level.
But I noticed, like with womenwho are, you know, they're a
little bit timid and shy andthey, you know, they don't have
(29:42):
faith in themselves and they'reyou know.
And then you know, when youstart working with them I'm sure
you've seen it too where youknow, by the end of six weeks or
eight weeks, you're like wow,like who is this woman?
Right, like this cannot be thesame woman that I had in front
of me, you know, six or eightweeks ago, because she's so
bright.
And you know like I'm sure younotice a change in their just in
their face right, and you know,when you hear the things that
they're doing, that probablywould light you up the same.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
It's beautiful.
I mean, it's like reviving acat.
I don't know how to explain it.
It's just like you know, like Idon't know, I just I love it, it
, it it just their eyes glow,like they glow, it's like they
just have so much more energy.
They're energized, they, youknow, and then the ripple effect
(30:19):
like they're like, yeah, myrelationship with my husband is
so much better because I feel somuch better.
It's like my relationship withmy family is so much better
because I feel so much betterand it's like I know it's great,
isn't it?
Because that's the way it is.
Like you, you become confidentand you just radiate that to the
world.
And we should all feel that way, because what a wonderful world
(30:41):
it would be if everybody couldfeel like that, like, oh, so
true, there would be like lessyou know, less of everything,
less crime, because people wouldbe so happy with themselves.
There wouldn't be abuse,because people would be so happy
with themselves.
There wouldn't be abuse becausepeople would be so happy with
themselves, like people wouldjust, you know, be so concerned
about their own, like self, andthey wouldn't have to worry
(31:02):
about everyone else.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, so yeah, that's true, yeah, and I remember.
I remember growing up hearingyou know, worry about your own
backyard before you look overthe fence, right, and I remember
thinking what the hell doesthat mean?
Right?
And of course, I think mainlywith raising my own kids, I
realized that, yeah, you need toworry about what's happening in
(31:24):
your own house, not what'shappening in other people's
houses, because everyone isdoing.
You need to leave everyone todo their own thing, right?
When you start putting yournose in other people's business,
you forget your own business,right, and then you yeah, then
you become just a busybody.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
And social media is so bad for that.
Like we start to compareourselves and what's projected
on social media is people don'twant to see your dirty laundry,
right.
Like you're projecting likethis beautiful life and people
think that that's what it is.
And then you know, you look atyour own reality and you're like
, oh, it's not like that, butit's like you know what.
Look at your reality and begrateful for it.
(32:03):
Find your blessings ExactlyAwesome moments.
I'm always realizing moments.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah, and realize too that if you have dirty laundry,
so does everyone else.
They just don't want the worldto see it.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
One thing I did tell my kids when they were growing
up and I'm sure you did the same, right you know they'd come
home and they start comparingthemselves to what you know
their friends were doing onsocial media or you know cause
they could follow whoever theywanted.
And I would be like do youreally think that that's how
they wake up in the morning?
Do you really think that that'swhat all they're doing?
They're showing you thehighlights of their day, right?
(32:41):
They're not showing you all theshitty parts, because we all
have them.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Right, we all have emotions, we all get hurt, we
all.
We all go through every stage.
Right, we just don't telleverybody.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
No, and a lot of people have those skills and if
you can teach them at the veryyoung age, you know, once they
go through life with you, knowperfect, you know great skills
for them to get throughsituations.
You know even teaching them howto deal with bullies or all
these little things that arechallenging in life.
If they can have those skillsto be like yeah, I got this,
(33:18):
that's right Then they're goingto become really wonderful whole
people in the world.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I love that.
Yeah.
Is there anything more that youwant to tell our listeners?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Yeah, I'd love to like just you know, my new
program for entrepreneurs.
I just want to like say what alittle bit about that and it's
just really nice to, if I canput it down into an acronym of
confidence.
I just want to, you know, saykind of a few things that we
(33:51):
would be learning, and this is alot of stuff that I teach as
well to the young people.
You know courageouscommunication.
Communication is so importantin life.
Own who you are, Nurturepositive thoughts.
That's when you wake up in themorning and sometimes you're not
feeling good, but you canchange your whole state.
(34:12):
I always put music on.
I love music.
I used to wake up my kids withmusic and it was just like, yeah
, you choose either to feel goodor to feel bad.
First impressions, that's alwaysreally nice.
You know your body language.
How about a handshake?
Do you even know how to hand?
You know handshake someone'shand.
How about eye contact?
(34:33):
That's a big one too.
How about the letter I innerself issues?
You know you can't go throughlife if you haven't really dealt
with some of your past thingsor even the core values.
You know what do you value themost.
If it's family, then you knowwhen you're presented with
(34:53):
situations where your family isinvolved, you'll most likely say
yes to those things beforeanything else.
So it's nice to know what yourcore values are and all those
wonderful values in life Definewho you really are.
Let's define, like your values,your goals, your purpose in
life.
You know your mission statementwhy don't we all create one?
(35:13):
I think that's really nice tohave those things too.
And your vision for the future.
External image styling tips.
Body language you know managingand you know the first
impressions.
Those are always great to haveas well.
Nonverbal communication Did youknow that?
(35:35):
You know even the way you'dlook at someone or your tone of
voice is really important.
It's not just the words thatyou say, and I think that's
important to learn those thingsas well.
Overall, charisma charisma isanother one you know.
Cultivate the magneticpersonality that draws others to
you.
Like you have to have that.
(35:55):
I think everybody has it.
Sometimes it's just hidden inthere.
And last but not least,effectiveness Build on, you know
, self efficiency through smallwins.
And, yeah, get through thoseoverwhelming fears and failures
and rejections.
Like how do you deal with that?
You can deal very negatively oryou can deal really positively
(36:19):
with some of your failures inlife.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
So yeah, I love that, I love that.
So you know, when I see thosebig words like confidence is a,
it's a fairly big word, right,and you think okay an acronym.
How is this?
It's not necessarily like anine step program.
It's more of.
This is what I'm going to giveyou.
This is, these are the thingsthat you're going to walk away
with.
These are, like, whatconfidence is to you.
(36:42):
I love that.
That's great, and you use thatwith entrepreneurs.
You don't use that with yourkids, I'm sure, like I mean,
it's pretty straightforward,right.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
This is the one for entrepreneurs, but there's a lot
of the same type of things thatwe use for the youth and the
kids too.
But we want to start with, like, for the parents.
We want to start with theparents.
They need to be confident.
Then we pass that on with thekids and then with the youth.
It's a little bit different,but it's kind of the same.
It's all adapted to their agegroup as well.
(37:12):
And then for the entrepreneurs,I think it's important If you
guys want to, like you know,become more confident in dealing
with your clients.
More clients means more money.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Yeah, yeah, and you, yeah, well, of course.
Oh, I love that.
Thank you so much for that.
I wrote them all down, so Ihope I got them all right and
I'm I yeah, I'm not gonna like,I I'm hoping right that someone
will reach out to you and say Iwant more of that oh yeah, I
love it.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
It's so wonderful Like let's spread joy.
Yes, joy and love andself-assurance and confidence
around the world would beamazing.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yes, absolutely.
So I will put that in the shownotes.
Yeah, your contact informationwill be there, and anyone who
wants to get in touch with youcan do that.
And is there anything else youwanted to add to our, to what
(38:13):
you said?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Well, I mean, I'm a confidence consultant,
confidence coach, and it's allabout creating compelling
confidence and being theunstoppable you that you are and
I want to ignite your power andjust be awesome.
So, yeah, that's what I wantfor people and I think that's.
I'm really great at doing whatI do and I really want to see
(38:37):
people succeed.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
So awesome.
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
Thank you, tina, I appreciateit.
That's been awesome.
Confidence in Bloom is acelebration of self-love, a
confirmation that, even thoughyou may not look like a screen
star or a supermodel they don'teven look like that you are an
amazing, desirable, brilliant,gorgeous, talented woman.
(38:58):
We offer unconditional love toour partners, our children, our
extended family, even our pets.
It's high time we got out ofour own way and learned to
unconditionally love ourselves.
Infobloom Styling and Coachingoffers an online program
combined with one-on-onecoaching and confidence building
, personal branding and creatingyour signature fashion look.
(39:18):
Chic definitely does come inevery shape.
So if you want something tobelieve, in start with yourself.
If you'd like to be a guesthere on Confidence in Bloom,
contact me through Instagram atinfobloomstyling, by email, tina
at infobloomstylingcom, orthrough the Divas that Care
website.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Thanks for listening.
This show was brought to you byDivas that Care.
Connect with us on Facebook, onInstagram and, of course, on
divasthatcarecom, where you cansubscribe to our newsletter so
you don't miss a thing.
It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and
ideas to inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas that Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen, by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
To find out more about themovement, visit divasthatcarecom
(00:24):
.
After the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
One just has to pick up a magazine or turn on a
television to see that, as women, we are bombarded daily with
media images of female physicalperfection, setting up the most
unrealistic of expectations asto how we should look.
No wonder female bodyconfidence is falling while
incidents of eating disordersare on the rise.
What's most alarming is the waythis affects young girls.
(00:55):
A reduced sense of self-worthcan create anxiety, stress, even
depression, causingrelationship issues, while
potentially impairing academicand job performance.
In direct contrast, confidencein Bloom is designed to
reinforce the truth and reassureevery woman who has ever felt
inadequate, unworthy or tossedaside because of how she looks,
(01:18):
that no matter her age, shape orbackground, you matter.
You are enough.
Now I, tina Spoletini, a womanof substance, insist women
deserve to be happy, confident,successful and totally in love
with themselves in their ownbodies, just the way they are.
Through an ongoing series ofintriguing conversations with
women from all walks of life,who are all extraordinary in
(01:41):
their own right, we will embarkupon a journey of ultimate
self-acceptance and empowerment.
Together, we'll share stories,laugh, learn, maybe even shed a
few tears when it becomes clearjust how far many women have
come to realize how wonderfullife is when you stand in your
own power, feeling fantastic inyour own skin.
(02:03):
Jenny LaRue is my guest today.
Meet Jenny, who turnsconfidence building into a
no-nonsense adventure forgrown-ups and fun-filled
expedition for kids when she'snot busy being a secret
superhero, her superheroboosting confidence with just a
smile.
She's a confidence coach andsometimes referred to as the
(02:26):
confidence cheerleader by thosewho know her best.
With a knack for turningeveryday moments into
confidence-boosting lessons,jenny knows how to sprinkle a
dash of positivity here and apinch of perseverance there.
She's here to share herlighthearted yet impactful
approach to empowering women andnurturing confident kids.
(02:48):
Armed with anecdotes, wisdomand maybe a magic wand or two,
please welcome the fabulous andfun Jenny LaRue.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So how are you?
I'm wonderful.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
How are you, tina?
I'm doing very well, thank you.
You are a confidencecheerleader.
I would like to know how youbecame this confidence
cheerleader and who youcheerlead Perfect.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Yeah, I love raising confidence.
Everything is about confidence.
I started, probably when mychildren were small, just to
gain more confidence and makingsure that I'm well and whole in
my own self-assurance, and so Icould pass that on to my
(03:36):
children.
So I think that's probably whenit really really hit me for me
to, kind of, you know, start tothink about that, and so, yeah,
that's when I started to topretend, not pretend to really
want to raise confidence inpeople and I think that it's a
really great skill to learn.
(03:58):
It's not something we're bornwith.
Maybe some people think thatmaybe we are, maybe we're not,
but for sure it's a skill tolearn.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
So absolutely, I do agree, and I think we're all
born with a certain amount ofconfidence, but it's like a
muscle, like every other musclethat we have, where you have to
build it you know it gets brokenor it gets damaged and it's up
to us to rebuild it.
You know, give it that regrowthand I'm sure you know this
(04:27):
because I mean you work in aschool, you see, with all the
kids as confidence grows, itbecomes different, right.
Like it becomes wow, like youweren't the kid you were five
years ago or whatever, like.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Whatever, the story is right like, whatever the
story is right.
Definitely and I think that'smy favorite part of being a
preschool teacher was that I wastheir first experience at
school.
We had a whole year to reallygive them that confidence, for
them to to learn the skills thatthey need to go into into
(05:01):
kindergarten.
So it was really important forme to be confident myself in my
abilities, especially at work,in my personal life as well, so
that I could pass that on justlike a ripple effect.
If you're confident, then youpass that on to your children
and then they pass it on totheir friends at school and it
(05:21):
just keeps going just like apositive thing.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
So yeah, it's great, yeah, that's wonderful.
So you work with both kids andadults.
Am I right, correct?
Speaker 3 (05:31):
So I've worked quite a few.
I've worked 22 years withchildren in early childhood and
in those years I've also doneyouth work with the youth,
especially girls.
I think girls are veryvulnerable to low self-esteem
and low confidence.
So I had started some girlsworkshops and built their
(05:55):
confidence through skills.
Giving them skills, giving themsome ways of thinking, positive
thoughts, all those kinds ofthings that are really, really
important in life when you'regrowing up and maybe not have
those skills.
So wow, after I've decided tobranch out a little bit more
(06:16):
into the adult world as well,where I am raising, helping
entrepreneurs to raiseconfidence in themselves.
So, wow, a really greatadventure?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, I bet it would be, and I, and I'm sure I mean
it's different, right, and allthree of those groups you're
you're dealing with differentcharacteristics and traits.
I'm wondering how, like what?
How does your approach differfrom each group?
Speaker 3 (06:48):
you have to adapt, like the teachings in the
program for age appropriate, sowith the parents and the
children say zero to five.
It's a lot of like games.
You know you want to make itfun for them.
So when you're playing a game,just say the mirror game, we can
do that one because it appliesto all.
(07:10):
You start with just having themlook at themselves in the
mirror and just saying somereally fun stuff about
themselves.
It could be funny like oh, lookat my cute nose, right, you
make it really fun.
Look how luscious my hair is inmy cute nose, right, you make
it really fun, Look how lusciousmy hair is.
And then you can, you know, addvocabulary to the words that
(07:31):
you're using with them.
And as teenagers it gets alittle bit different, because
teenagers can be a little bitmore stubborn, they're more into
their head.
The emotions and the hormonesare all in there, so that
becomes a little bit different.
They might not appreciate youbeing in front of the mirror
with them to have fun in themirror.
So then you give them differentskills.
And I know that when my boysbecause boys as well can suffer
(07:55):
from low self-esteem, I wouldwrite little messages or
questions on the mirrorno-transcript many other
(08:27):
different aspects.
There's imposter syndrome,there's your perfectionism.
I know as women, we, our bodies, are changing, especially if
you've had children.
So those are or menopause,those are aspects of our lives
that are happening and we reallyhave to get into the mindset
that we have to accept thischange that's happening for us
(08:49):
and I think it's important thatwhen we do our mirror technique
as adults and as women that,like, we have the knowledge to
really just say stop, stoptalking negative about myself
and just be happy and positive,especially if you have girls.
You don't want to show themthat you're standing on this
(09:11):
scale every morning and they'rewatching.
You know can happen throughsocial media or what society has
created for us which could benegative.
So we have to be stronger thanthat.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, and that's not always easy, right, which would
be why you're coaching womenthrough that.
Yeah, I relate with that.
What's an everyday moment thatmost people overlook, that you
love turning into a confidenceboosting lesson?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
An everyday moment, just the routine of the morning,
when you get up in the morning.
That's so important.
On how you get up in themorning, are you thinking of
what you lack or areas of yourlife where you don't have
confidence?
And maybe that's what you wakeup with and it's okay to do that
.
It's fine, do that, it's fine.
(10:12):
We'll just look into that alittle bit more and see what
areas.
Is it parenting?
Is it maybe a lack at work?
Is it you wanting to get into anew relationship?
And you need a little bit moreconfidence in that.
So, once you start your day,we'll make sure that you have a
really good routine, because Ibelieve the first 15 minutes is
(10:34):
so important.
It'll like determine your wholeday and 15 minutes as well.
Like, what are you thinkingabout when you go to bed?
I know, for me, confidence isputting my pee-proof underwear
before I go to a comedy club,like that is, yeah, I need to
need e-proof underwear because Iknow that I will drip.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
That's, that's.
I mean it's not funny, but it'sfunny, I know it's reality.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
We'll just call it reality.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Well, yeah, I just yeah.
You're right Now.
Can you share a time when justa smile made a big difference
for someone?
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Oh for sure I know that.
You know, sometimes we don'tknow like in my line of work at
school, I don't know what goeson at home for these children,
but I know that I'm there forthem and so I'm a smiley person.
I love when people smile.
I love to see people's teeth.
(11:35):
I'm big on teeth, but a smilecan make you know someone's day
and you don't know what they'regoing through.
So I encourage everybody tosmile.
I think smiling is probably themost confident thing we can
wear.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So yeah, it's true, right, I mean, sometimes we just
need to look at someone who'ssmiling and it helps us sort of
put the day behind us or put youknow whatever's bringing us
down behind us.
We can kind of forget about itfor a short time.
Exactly, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You have to be the leader, right, so you be the one
to start the smile and it'llripple, because then you're
making somebody feel better andthen they can go home and make
their spouse feel better ortheir children feel better, like
you.
Just have to be that kind ofperson in the world, just a
green person.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I agree, and it's like you said, it's like a
ripple effect.
Right, they might not go homeand say, oh, jenny, made me
smile today, but they will gohome smiling and that smile will
then you, you know affect therest of their, their evening at
home.
Yeah, what's the mostunexpected way that you've ever
helped someone get confidence,or like build their confidence?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Um, I think it's just in the fun, like I use a lot of
humor and I think you know whydo we take ourselves so
seriously?
Honestly, like we're here, weshould have fun.
So, yeah, just making it fun.
So I remember a time where itwas just this game that we were
playing and it was just a beangame and so I did it with the
(13:11):
children and it was a bean thatwe had to keep.
So that was kind of like ourkind of our medicine we'll say
we'll call it our medicine andwe had to go out and give our
beans away.
But at the end if you didn'thave any beans, it means you
didn't have any steam foryourself, like you gave away
(13:31):
everything.
So how can you take care ofyourself when you, if you can't
take care of yourself, you can'ttake care of others?
So having just that knowledgethat you have to care for
yourself, so your confidencecomes first before you can even
like do anything else.
So just through games and stuff, it's been really fun to build
that confidence with those girlsand I really enjoyed that part
(13:53):
of it.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Oh yeah, I love that and it's so true, especially
with girls, right, you can'tlook after anyone else if you
don't look after yourself first.
That is like one of the mostimportant messages right to give
.
I mean not just to girls, butyou know, women are generally
more nurturing and caring, andso you know, but I I mean there
(14:15):
are a lot of dads that are thethe main caregiver, you know.
We all need to know that.
We all need to know that, yes,I need to care for myself before
I can care for others andspread my love.
Right, if I don't have love,then I can't give love.
Exactly that way.
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I know, sorry, go ahead.
No, you go ahead, I have aquestion so you?
go ahead.
When I was little to, like youknow, I was labeled shy, which I
was like I am Okay.
I guess my teachers think I'mshy because I'm quiet.
I didn't think I was shy, butyou know, we have to be careful,
careful with labels as well.
(14:54):
But yeah, so shyness, you know,growing up with that title and
label, it was like that reallytook away my confidence.
And I'm sure there's situationswhere, like I remember, it was,
you know, the Olympics here Ihad a chance to walk the torch
in front of my whole school, butI could not even get myself to
(15:16):
the front to even do that, so Imissed opportunities.
That would have been reallyspecial for me to remember, even
though maybe no one elseremembered, but I remember that
significantly, I missed outbecause I didn't have the
confidence.
But yeah, you know, you have tobe very careful with children
and what you label them and whatthey hear, what they see.
(15:37):
They're sponges, so it's veryimportant.
But I did gain my confidenceback.
I mean, I was, I liked, youknow, speaking in front of the
class.
I had no problem with that, um,I also was in theater, I was in
music, I was, you know, in aband, um, so those things, I
think you have to be careful,especially with the children.
(15:59):
But I want to know, like, howdo you, you know, maybe define
confidence?
I think it's different foreveryone else, I think so too.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
And I say, I mean, I thinkconfidence is how you see
yourself.
Right, it's, it's how you know,like, how do you see yourself,
how do you, you know, portrayyourself out to the world right,
when someone walks into theroom, you look at them and you
go, oh, you know they just wantto be hiding, or you know they
(16:29):
feel like they belong here, orthey think they own the room or
you know, like that to me isconfidence, right, it's how you
see yourself Exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
I know that I had labeled myself as social, with
social anxiety, but in the end Ireally don't have social
anxiety.
But I told that to myself forthe longest time because walking
in a room, I would feel theanxiety.
I would feel, you know, justreally really like I wanted to
hide.
But then I had to change theword anxiety to excitement.
(17:03):
So when I walk into a room now,it's like I'm excited to be
here and then I'm able to go upto people and say hi, you know,
those are skills you learn, youknow right, and you, you know
it's funny that you say that,because nervous and anxiousness
like anxiety, those feelings arethe same, right, and so it's
what we tell ourselves, themeaning of exactly yeah, exactly
(17:26):
.
So.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Yeah, those are all skills to learn, yeah, so true
and and listening to the storythat you're telling yourself
right, oh, I feel it, I feelanxious, right?
So now, why is that Right?
We need to rephrase that andsay, oh, I'm not feeling anxious
, no, I'm just feeling excitedbecause they feel the same.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
We're really good liars to ourselves.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Isn't that true, right?
We are our own worst enemies,right.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, yeah, let's set us up for success.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Absolutely, Absolutely.
Now in your bio you mentionedsprinkling positivity and a
pinch of perseverance.
What are your go to tools oryour habits to do that for
yourself?
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Oh, for sure, I do a lot of meditation.
I hang out with really positivepeople around me.
My connections are alwaysbringing me something, something
positive, and if they don't,that means they're toxic and I
let them go.
I'm careful with just thethings that I read or the things
(18:33):
that I listen to.
Like I don't listen to the news.
If there's something superimportant, someone will tell me,
but it's just reallysurrounding myself with
positivity.
I need that because or else Ican, you know, fall down pretty
pretty quick.
Um, and that's what I knowabout myself.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Um, so if some people are like that as well, like
it's just practice and justmaking sure that, yeah, you
create a really sane environmentfor yourself and surround
yourself with really good peopleand it's and it's true, like
you know, when you say you have,you need to know your, your
life, you need to know howyou're going to handle, um, you
(19:11):
know situations around you andbeing present with yourself.
That's how you learn it right.
It's not just something thatyou learn over time, it's a
matter of you know, be presentwith yourself, really understand
what's happening inside you,feel what's going on and what
triggers it.
Right, good or bad?
(19:31):
Right, we need to know that weneed in order for us to feel
confident.
We have to know.
We have to know ourselves.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yes, and I've also known, like I've learned, how to
say no, and if it's somethingthat's not a hell yes, it's a no
honestly.
And so I'm able to evaluatethat, because I used to say yes
to everything.
I was a people pleaser yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And then I get to either thesituation or the event and I'm
like I don't want to be here.
So now I'm filtering out what Iwant to do and it has to be a
(20:02):
hell yes for sure, because ifit's not yeah, it's not worth my
time, it's not worth your time,and the thing is you don't
enjoy it, although I will say Iremember years ago not so much
today, but years ago.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I remember thinking I don't feel like going, do I
have to go?
And then I get there and I havethe best time.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And so then I used to tell myself those are the
events that you want to be at,right.
But over time I felt like I wasexpecting to have that good
time, even if I didn't want togo Right.
So I think I mean you'redefinitely onto something.
We need to, like you know, pickand choose really carefully
where we want to put ourpresence Right and and not put
(20:45):
our presence, but not notnecessarily.
I mean the hell yes has, youknow, a little bit of a gray
area.
I guess going right like thenose, those are those right when
you know you don't want to bethere, it's an easy no, but that
that hell yes has to have alittle bit of gray area For sure
?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
So well, let's talk about the comfort zone, right?
I mean, I think that's to methat's where dreams die,
Honestly, you just, I thinkthat's to me that's where dreams
die, honestly, you just, ifyou're staying in there way too
long, it's not healthy at all.
I mean, I stayed there way toolong as well, and I've noticed
that it wasn't months, it wasactually years of my life that I
was wasting.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
So I think the comfort zone is a big one, like
you say.
I think I know what you'resaying, but I'm this is what I'm
really learning about myselfand clients when we stay in our
comfort zone.
That is also where we learn howto expand that comfort zone
right.
Stepping out of your comfortzone isn't really the answer,
because you know you could beputting yourself into danger
right In so many different ways.
(21:56):
I think expanding that comfortzone right, like you know,
instead of taking two stepsforward, take five right.
See how far you can push thatthat you know wall around you
and maybe you know what's theword I'm looking for Sort of
encouraging yourself to you know.
Go's the word I'm looking for.
Sort of encouraging yourself toyou know, go a little bit
further every day.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, and that's what I'm here for.
Sometimes people just need a,you know, a hand, literally like
let's go, let's do it right,because often we stay in our
head and that's where we stay isin our comfort zone.
So if I can be there for peopleto be like, okay, what is your
goals, let's do it, let's takesmall steps.
You don't have to be big, youjust do it a little bit every
(22:39):
day, a little bit every week.
You know you embrace beinguncomfortable, I know it's hard,
but you just have to do it, Imean, and then you celebrate
when you've done it right.
Like we forget to celebrateourselves sometimes and I think
that's really important.
But yeah, I think magic happensoutside of our comfort zone.
(22:59):
So let's get out there.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah, exactly.
And, and I think you know yousaid celebrating that like
celebrate, even if it's one stepover the line, one step, you
know something that you wouldhave never done yesterday.
Right, celebrate that, right,be happy for yourself so that
tomorrow, when you try it againor you try something even more
different, you're more open toit exactly yeah, and you can
(23:26):
learn a lot from children.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
They're not scared right in the beginning, and then
there's a point in our liveswhere all of a sudden we become,
you know, insecure, and then wecompare ourselves to people and
and then it just yeah, justkind of goes down.
But if you look at smallchildren and children in general
, they're just yeah, let's do itright.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, I have three kids and all three of them were
so different, right, I remember.
And then my first two weretwins at, boy-girl twins at that
, and he was always really he,you know, he tried everything,
but he was careful, right, heknew okay, that's a little bit
too risky, whereas my daughter,she would, she didn't think she
(24:06):
just went right.
I remember one time she wasrunning to the swimming pool, my
husband was in the in the pooland she starts running to him,
daddy, daddy, right, well, itwas like she, just she thought
she was gonna run on the water,right, and I'm trying to grab
her because I'm like, no, you'regonna fall.
But she didn't think right,whereas he would have been like,
(24:27):
okay, like running, but thennoticing that you know, the
cement under me is going to cometo an end, so I need to slow
down, not her, she just went andI used to think, oh, my God,
right.
But I, when you, when we talkabout you know, like the comfort
zone, that to me is like youneed to also know what's on the
(24:47):
other side, right, and thensometimes that can hold us back,
which we have to be, you knowvery much aware of.
But if we don't, if we just go.
Then we have no idea how we'regoing to handle life right.
And then that's when anxietyand fear all will set in right,
because we're like, oh my God,how did I get here?
What have I done?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, I really hope to teach people those skills.
So when you get into thosesituations you feel confident
because you've practiced it oryou know you're like, yeah, I
got this, especially as parents,right.
Yeah for sure.
You know we try to sometimescompare ourselves to other
parents, like, oh, my child iswalking already and mine's not,
(25:26):
and it's like, it's okay.
It's okay.
People Like why are we soconcerned about other people?
Speaker 2 (25:32):
They will get there.
About other people.
They will get there, right.
They will get there right.
Yeah, and I remember hearingyou know your son will not be in
diapers when he's five, whenhe's 10, you know, in grade five
.
I remember hearing that and I'mlike I don't know.
I don't know if I believe thatright, because everyone around
me, like I want to, you know,you compare yourself to everyone
around you and how they'redoing things, and well, how can
(25:52):
they manage to get it donealready?
Right, but the reality is beingagain, being present with
yourself.
You know what you're capable ofdoing at this moment, right.
That doesn't mean you won't beable to do more, you know in a
day or two, but right now thisis all you're capable of doing.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
But right now, this is all you're capable of doing,
for sure, I think a big thingtoo is, you know, we sometimes
live life on other people'sterms, right, like people expect
things of us, and that's wherewe feel very insecure because
we're not aligned with what theywant.
We want to align ourselves withwhat we want, and so that took
(26:31):
me a very long time.
I mean, you know, I was marriedand, you know, did everything
for my ex-husband, I stayed forthe kids and then got divorced
and then I didn't.
I felt so free because it waslike.
You know, I think you can growas a couple.
Of course, relationships arevery important, but when you're
disconnected like that andyou're just kind of living as a
(26:53):
zombie, that's not really life.
I don't think no.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And then the thing is that freezes all your emotions,
right, that that just putseverything into, like you know,
a little jar inside you and then, when you feel that freedom,
all of a sudden that jar getsopened and you're like, oh my
god, you know what I could do,like you have all this potential
now, right exactly, yeah andyeah, and then, and then of
course, yeah.
And then confidence.
(27:17):
I mean now you can grow yourconfidence to be who you want to
be and who you're meant to be,because we all know we all have
that purpose, we all have youknow who we are supposed to be.
I love that.
So I was going to ask youwhat's a piece of wisdom you
always find yourself repeating,either to your clients, to your
(27:38):
children or to the kids thatyou're teaching.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah, for sure.
It'd have to be like, like youneed to learn these skills, you
have to practice them and it'sokay.
Okay, like I think it's juststop being so hard on yourself.
I think that's the biggest one.
It's like we're all here tolearn.
Learning is a lifetime process.
(28:02):
I love like personaldevelopment.
I feel like I'm gonna be doingthat for the rest of my life and
I feel really good about, youknow, growing, and so I think
like really the wisdom is justkeep growing and just don't be
so hard on yourself.
Don't take that seriously yeah,I love that.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I love that because I think we do, we, we get caught
up in that, don't we?
The whole like I have to dothis and I have to do that and I
need to do it this way and Ineed to do it better than this.
And yeah, I think I agree withthat.
That's really great advice.
When you are working, whatlights you up the most?
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Seeing people's transformation by far I love.
I love seeing them grow.
In return.
They give me so much as well,and so that's why I do what I do
is just seeing people'stransformation from like the
beginning to the end.
It's like it's like acompletely different person.
They, they, you know kind ofgrow into who they are and I
(29:01):
think that's like the mostbeautiful thing ever.
I think children are the mostbeautiful thing ever.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, just people in general.
Just, let's be happy, I lovethat.
Yeah, just people in general,just let's be happy, yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
And then you know it's funny, like you know, when
you watch kids grow, especially,you know if they grow confident
, right, like if they grow andthey stay in that confidence
level.
But I noticed, like with womenwho are, you know, they're a
little bit timid and shy andthey, you know, they don't have
(29:42):
faith in themselves and they'reyou know.
And then you know, when youstart working with them I'm sure
you've seen it too where youknow, by the end of six weeks or
eight weeks, you're like wow,like who is this woman?
Right, like this cannot be thesame woman that I had in front
of me, you know, six or eightweeks ago, because she's so
bright.
And you know like I'm sure younotice a change in their just in
their face right, and you know,when you hear the things that
they're doing, that probablywould light you up the same.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
It's beautiful.
I mean, it's like reviving acat.
I don't know how to explain it.
It's just like you know, like Idon't know, I just I love it, it
, it it just their eyes glow,like they glow, it's like they
just have so much more energy.
They're energized, they, youknow, and then the ripple effect
(30:19):
like they're like, yeah, myrelationship with my husband is
so much better because I feel somuch better.
It's like my relationship withmy family is so much better
because I feel so much betterand it's like I know it's great,
isn't it?
Because that's the way it is.
Like you, you become confidentand you just radiate that to the
world.
And we should all feel that way, because what a wonderful world
(30:41):
it would be if everybody couldfeel like that, like, oh, so
true, there would be like lessyou know, less of everything,
less crime, because people wouldbe so happy with themselves.
There wouldn't be abuse,because people would be so happy
with themselves.
There wouldn't be abuse becausepeople would be so happy with
themselves, like people wouldjust, you know, be so concerned
about their own, like self, andthey wouldn't have to worry
(31:02):
about everyone else.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, so yeah, that's true, yeah, and I remember.
I remember growing up hearingyou know, worry about your own
backyard before you look overthe fence, right, and I remember
thinking what the hell doesthat mean?
Right?
And of course, I think mainlywith raising my own kids, I
realized that, yeah, you need toworry about what's happening in
(31:24):
your own house, not what'shappening in other people's
houses, because everyone isdoing.
You need to leave everyone todo their own thing, right?
When you start putting yournose in other people's business,
you forget your own business,right, and then you yeah, then
you become just a busybody.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
And social media is so bad for that.
Like we start to compareourselves and what's projected
on social media is people don'twant to see your dirty laundry,
right.
Like you're projecting likethis beautiful life and people
think that that's what it is.
And then you know, you look atyour own reality and you're like
, oh, it's not like that, butit's like you know what.
Look at your reality and begrateful for it.
(32:03):
Find your blessings ExactlyAwesome moments.
I'm always realizing moments.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah, and realize too that if you have dirty laundry,
so does everyone else.
They just don't want the worldto see it.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
One thing I did tell my kids when they were growing
up and I'm sure you did the same, right you know they'd come
home and they start comparingthemselves to what you know
their friends were doing onsocial media or you know cause
they could follow whoever theywanted.
And I would be like do youreally think that that's how
they wake up in the morning?
Do you really think that that'swhat all they're doing?
They're showing you thehighlights of their day, right?
(32:41):
They're not showing you all theshitty parts, because we all
have them.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Right, we all have emotions, we all get hurt, we
all.
We all go through every stage.
Right, we just don't telleverybody.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
No, and a lot of people have those skills and if
you can teach them at the veryyoung age, you know, once they
go through life with you, knowperfect, you know great skills
for them to get throughsituations.
You know even teaching them howto deal with bullies or all
these little things that arechallenging in life.
If they can have those skillsto be like yeah, I got this,
(33:18):
that's right Then they're goingto become really wonderful whole
people in the world.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I love that.
Yeah.
Is there anything more that youwant to tell our listeners?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Yeah, I'd love to like just you know, my new
program for entrepreneurs.
I just want to like say what alittle bit about that and it's
just really nice to, if I canput it down into an acronym of
confidence.
I just want to, you know, saykind of a few things that we
(33:51):
would be learning, and this is alot of stuff that I teach as
well to the young people.
You know courageouscommunication.
Communication is so importantin life.
Own who you are, Nurturepositive thoughts.
That's when you wake up in themorning and sometimes you're not
feeling good, but you canchange your whole state.
(34:12):
I always put music on.
I love music.
I used to wake up my kids withmusic and it was just like, yeah
, you choose either to feel goodor to feel bad.
First impressions, that's alwaysreally nice.
You know your body language.
How about a handshake?
Do you even know how to hand?
You know handshake someone'shand.
How about eye contact?
(34:33):
That's a big one too.
How about the letter I innerself issues?
You know you can't go throughlife if you haven't really dealt
with some of your past thingsor even the core values.
You know what do you value themost.
If it's family, then you knowwhen you're presented with
(34:53):
situations where your family isinvolved, you'll most likely say
yes to those things beforeanything else.
So it's nice to know what yourcore values are and all those
wonderful values in life Definewho you really are.
Let's define, like your values,your goals, your purpose in
life.
You know your mission statementwhy don't we all create one?
(35:13):
I think that's really nice tohave those things too.
And your vision for the future.
External image styling tips.
Body language you know managingand you know the first
impressions.
Those are always great to haveas well.
Nonverbal communication Did youknow that?
(35:35):
You know even the way you'dlook at someone or your tone of
voice is really important.
It's not just the words thatyou say, and I think that's
important to learn those thingsas well.
Overall, charisma charisma isanother one you know.
Cultivate the magneticpersonality that draws others to
you.
Like you have to have that.
(35:55):
I think everybody has it.
Sometimes it's just hidden inthere.
And last but not least,effectiveness Build on, you know
, self efficiency through smallwins.
And, yeah, get through thoseoverwhelming fears and failures
and rejections.
Like how do you deal with that?
You can deal very negatively oryou can deal really positively
(36:19):
with some of your failures inlife.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
So yeah, I love that, I love that.
So you know, when I see thosebig words like confidence is a,
it's a fairly big word, right,and you think okay an acronym.
How is this?
It's not necessarily like anine step program.
It's more of.
This is what I'm going to giveyou.
This is, these are the thingsthat you're going to walk away
with.
These are, like, whatconfidence is to you.
(36:42):
I love that.
That's great, and you use thatwith entrepreneurs.
You don't use that with yourkids, I'm sure, like I mean,
it's pretty straightforward,right.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
This is the one for entrepreneurs, but there's a lot
of the same type of things thatwe use for the youth and the
kids too.
But we want to start with, like, for the parents.
We want to start with theparents.
They need to be confident.
Then we pass that on with thekids and then with the youth.
It's a little bit different,but it's kind of the same.
It's all adapted to their agegroup as well.
(37:12):
And then for the entrepreneurs,I think it's important If you
guys want to, like you know,become more confident in dealing
with your clients.
More clients means more money.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Yeah, yeah, and you, yeah, well, of course.
Oh, I love that.
Thank you so much for that.
I wrote them all down, so Ihope I got them all right and
I'm I yeah, I'm not gonna like,I I'm hoping right that someone
will reach out to you and say Iwant more of that oh yeah, I
love it.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
It's so wonderful Like let's spread joy.
Yes, joy and love andself-assurance and confidence
around the world would beamazing.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yes, absolutely.
So I will put that in the shownotes.
Yeah, your contact informationwill be there, and anyone who
wants to get in touch with youcan do that.
And is there anything else youwanted to add to our, to what
(38:13):
you said?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Well, I mean, I'm a confidence consultant,
confidence coach, and it's allabout creating compelling
confidence and being theunstoppable you that you are and
I want to ignite your power andjust be awesome.
So, yeah, that's what I wantfor people and I think that's.
I'm really great at doing whatI do and I really want to see
(38:37):
people succeed.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
So awesome.
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
Thank you, tina, I appreciateit.
That's been awesome.
Confidence in Bloom is acelebration of self-love, a
confirmation that, even thoughyou may not look like a screen
star or a supermodel they don'teven look like that you are an
amazing, desirable, brilliant,gorgeous, talented woman.
(38:58):
We offer unconditional love toour partners, our children, our
extended family, even our pets.
It's high time we got out ofour own way and learned to
unconditionally love ourselves.
Infobloom Styling and Coachingoffers an online program
combined with one-on-onecoaching and confidence building
, personal branding and creatingyour signature fashion look.
(39:18):
Chic definitely does come inevery shape.
So if you want something tobelieve, in start with yourself.
If you'd like to be a guesthere on Confidence in Bloom,
contact me through Instagram atinfobloomstyling, by email, tina
at infobloomstylingcom, orthrough the Divas that Care
website.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Thanks for listening.
This show was brought to you byDivas that Care.
Connect with us on Facebook, onInstagram and, of course, on
divasthatcarecom, where you cansubscribe to our newsletter so
you don't miss a thing.
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