Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Divas that Care
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(00:24):
after the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello to all.
Welcome to Divas that CareNetwork.
I am Joyce Benning, and I willbe your host for this such an
invigorating, robust lifestyleshow.
I'd like to first of all thankeach one of our listeners that
have tuned in live today and theones that will be listening to
the recording on our podcast.
I am just so very grateful foreach one of you, and you are all
(00:54):
in for a very special treattoday, as I have my returning
monthly diva, kate Nelligan,with me, and she is going to
speak about how to honor equinesin equine-partnered coaching.
Oh man, this is going to be agreat interview, kate.
Could you please introduceyourself to our listeners today?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Sure, Thanks as
always for having me.
I'm an equine-partnered lifeand career coach, animal
communicator, author and healerand speaker, and I'm really
excited for our topic today.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Oh awesome.
Yes, I am too.
Anytime it says equine, I getexcited because that's where my
heart's at, so I'm excited.
So how would you like to startto explain to our listeners
today on honoring the equines inthe equine partnered coaching,
(01:52):
be it with you or be it withanyone that does equine
partnered coaching?
How would you like to start itout today, Kate?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, so essentially,
I think about this in two ways.
One, this information is reallyfor anyone working with horses
it's, you know, focusing inunder the equine assisted
activities and learning, andalso I kind of hold the context
in three different ways.
One is before doing the work,before a session, during a
(02:21):
session and then afterwards, andit can look the same in
training, it can look the samein riding, it can look the same
in any activity.
Certainly, as a coach workingwith horses, in personal and
professional development, thisis something I'm really
passionate about teaching toother coaches, other educators,
because I believe there isn'tenough conversation about this
(02:47):
happening and this is a fullcourse that I teach, so we're
only going to briefly touch onit today.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Okay, oh, yes, well,
I so agree with you, because so
many times it's overlooked onhow to honor the equines.
We're too busy focusing on thehumans that we fail to honor
them, and they are the ones thatare playing equine partner
coaching.
So, as we go into it, how doyou start by honoring him in the
(03:22):
beginning, before you even havea session?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Well, in many ways,
you know, we as humans in the
past have not always looked atourselves as equals to horses or
to animals in general.
And you know, often when wehave kids, our kids want to play
a certain sport and so we allowthem to do that.
Other times I've seen parentskind of force their kids to play
a certain sport and so we allowthem to do that.
Other times I've seen parentskind of force their kids to play
(03:47):
certain sports and the kids areunhappy and you know there can
be a lot of rebellion and all ofthat, and to a certain level,
there's a form of disrespectthat happens with that.
And I find it the same with thehorses.
First of all.
Does the horse even want to bedoing this work?
Do they want to coach?
Do they want to teach?
First of all, does the horseeven want to be doing this work?
Do they want to coach?
Do they want to teach?
And if so, what are they bestat?
(04:08):
I have one horse that's anincredible healer, another
that's actually much better atteaching, and so then I'm really
taking on more of the coachrole.
And they each are verydifferent and individuals, like
we all are.
So it's knowing our horses wellby watching them.
Certainly, if we have trainingin animal communication, that
helps to actually be able tohear and sense and see what
(04:31):
they're showing us and to beable to ask them directly.
Is this something you want tobe involved in?
And it's also setting theirhealth their physical, emotional
, mental and spiritual bodies upreally well for this work, so
health-wise.
It's making spiritual bodies upreally well for this work, so
health-wise.
It's making sure that they havefood before beginning work.
(04:52):
It's the same with ridingno-transcript, so it's also, you
know, making sure that they'rehaving a good day, like if
they're sick, like I'm actuallynot feeling great today.
You can probably hear it in myvoice.
You know, is it I'm givingmyself permission to rest more
today.
So what do they need beforethey just go into a session?
(05:16):
There are a lot of I callranches or farms that feel like
they have to make a certainamount of money or have to do a
certain amount of activities ina week.
But what happens is the horsestake the toll, and so it's, you
know, and it's just because oneclient might want to work with
one specific horse and then thathorse maybe gets used to use a
(05:40):
lot of people's words more thanothers.
And that brings me to my secondpoint.
We don't talk about this work asusing, and I find that it's
easy to say it because you know,you say I use my chiropractor
or I use my horse or I use thispen.
It's a common word.
But if we bring even justawareness to that language and
we don't use use, horses alsoaren't assistants, so I have a
(06:04):
hard time calling itequine-assisted activities.
I still do, because it's thecommon word.
But they're also not ourassistants if you think about
the way that word is defined.
They truly are our partners,they're our co-coaches, they're
our equals, and so we don't usethem.
We can incorporate them incoaching.
But I like to say that Ipartner with them, I work with
(06:26):
them, and so the language is onepiece in how to honor them.
Another is knowing if the horseeven really wants to do the
work and how they're best atdoing the work and if that
specific day is the best day forthem to do the work.
So staying in the now moment isanother way.
Those are ways that we can alllook at honoring them before we
(06:47):
do this work with them.
And again it can really.
This goes to everything.
You know we don't use a horsefor dressage.
You ride with them, you partnerwith them.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Right.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
And do they enjoy
dressage?
Some horses do, not all do.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
So?
And do they enjoy exercise Somehorses do not all do so it's
really knowing what's the rightfit.
Yes, oh, how I agree with youso much because with the three I
have, I mean one of my horsesis just he's.
(07:23):
I kind of call him thepowerhouse of energy, because
you can just feel his energy.
He's just a very energetichorse and he just gives that off
to you too.
And knowing your horses, Ithink is very important too, is
learning to know them and feelwhat they are feeling and like
with him, with his energy.
And, like you said, you weren'tfeeling good today.
(07:45):
I kind of thought when you goton, I thought your energy
sounded just a little lower andto be able to pick up on your
horses too and to know ifthey're not feeling well then
it's not their day.
I mean, give them that breakand respect that, rather than
push and think, oh, they have todo it because I have this to do
(08:05):
and that to do with them.
No, if we don't feel like it,we kind of, like you said, take
a little bit of a break and takea day of rest.
So I agree so much with you isto look at it beforehand and
you'll have a much betterjourney in whatever you are
doing as you're doing it, if youtake those that time before to
(08:27):
check it out also, and then evenduring, like how do you are you
watching?
And I'm sure you are, just likelike when you ride too, you're
watching the horses very closelyduring to see if they are
enjoying and participating inwhat they are doing.
How do you monitor that duringa session?
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Yeah, so during is
really important as well,
because obviously the clientexperience is important, your
experience is important, and sois the horse's.
So now you have three differentparties, and client might mean
one person, it might meanmultiple people, and you know a
horse or horses or equines, likedonkeys, they need to have
(09:15):
choice, and so, while noteveryone has the luxury of a
multi-acre ranch, I understandthat I'm very lucky.
And I work within a herd, soit's not there's no pressure on
just one horse.
I have obviously worked inround pens with just one horse,
you know, and round pens can begreat.
I just think that I've beensitting with some of the
certification programs that areout there and how the majority
(09:37):
of the teaching for a couple ofthe big ones are just round pen
work and that's really it.
That's the only context that ahuman is going to get with a
horse is either the horse ishaltered and so they are fully
within the human's control, orthey're in a round pen where
they really can't leave.
They can't choose to get out,and I've been to demos and
(09:59):
workshops where the horsedoesn't want to be in there and
it's all about.
Well, we need to get the cryingoutcome rather than saying let's
actually pause this, let's takea couple more minutes, let's
bring in another horse thatwants to be here.
That has happened to me.
I had a horse stand at the gateand say I don't want to do this
, and I walked over and I saidare you done?
And she said yes, and webrought in another horse and it
(10:21):
was so perfect because that newhorse's name was ideal for the
workshop and it was you know.
He was so excited to be there.
It worked out beautifully.
We have to be willing to stayflexible.
We have to be willing to stay inthe moment and to read the
energy of what the horses arecommunicating.
And we also have to be willingto really show up and serve the
(10:44):
client on our own.
And while they come, sometimesfor the horses and we know that
that's a huge piece to them Ihave seen horses say this client
is too in their head, thisclient is not ready to change
and you need to take care ofthis.
And I've had my mare walk tothe gate of the round pen and
said I'll be here until the endof the session.
(11:05):
She didn't need me to go bringher back to her home, but she
definitely was like it's yourspassing the baton and so we have
to really be confident, yeah,in our own skills and abilities
to carry a coaching session, andI also think we need to educate
the clients about this up fronttoo.
Like listen, I know that you'rehere to partner with these
(11:26):
horses, but I'm not going toforce a horse to do anything.
My goats did not want to bepart of the sound bath recently.
They were fine in the beginning.
They said hello to everyone,but once there were too many
people in the space they boltedand I tried to get them back in
and they followed me everywhereand they wanted nothing to do.
And I realized that when I wastrying to make it happen for the
(11:47):
outcome of the group and then Isaid forget it, what am I doing
?
I always give my animal choiceand I explained it to them.
At the end I said I'm sorry thegoats weren't at your feet for
this experience, but your eyeswere closed anyway and I have to
give them choice.
So it's really reading what'sgoing on.
And next time we'll set thatsound bath up in a bigger space
so that the goats don't feelcramped and I and I think,
(12:10):
that's the thing it's likereally reading each animal and
knowing you know how they'redoing, how they're feeling, and
sometimes they may present someresistance.
That's not about them actuallyleaving a session, but it's
about them teaching the clientthat the client has resistance,
and then we have a greatconversation around that.
So it's really being so much inyour intuition and
(12:34):
understanding of that humanhorse connection, which does
take time to develop right.
New coaches need to learn theseskills, but that will help make
the sessions really powerfuland that's how to really honor
them, instead of it just beingabout honoring the clients.
I've seen too manyhuman-centric models in this
space and I think the worldreally needs to start to change,
(12:55):
and I'm just glad to be one ofthe people talking about it with
you right now.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Oh yes, oh, I am too,
because I agree so much.
I mean, I feel the horses, thegoats, the animals have a living
soul too.
They have feelings, just likewe do, and we need to honor them
.
And I've seen it, even whenfriends have come out and they
want to go see the horses.
Maybe one of my horses is likeno, I don't want any part of
(13:24):
this, and they'll just walk away.
And I'm like that's fine, thisjust isn't what they want to be
involved in, and that's okay.
And then one of the others willcome up and be right with the
person that wanted to be aroundthe horse and they're fine with
it.
I'm like this is to me.
That's like you said you haveto watch it during and see
(13:45):
what's happening and to honorthat.
I think that is huge too, tohonor what these animals are
saying to you and what theirfeelings are, just like with the
goats.
That was a great example of howyou tried to get them back in
when they follow you everywhereand they were like, nope, I'm
not going back in.
And you honored that.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
And that was awesome
it was too much for them, and
then you know what can happen.
(14:28):
The experience there's a lot ofother components for them to
have a wonderful time there and,honestly, sometimes it's not
always about touching animals.
It's really about can you feeltheir energy just by being with
them, can you get a lot ofinformation just by observing
them?
My work is going to the nextlevel at some point this year as
I work with wild horses,because it's going to be about
(14:50):
you can't get out and touch allof them, but what kind of horse
experience can you have whereyou let that energy in?
It sounds like you're gouting.
Does this like where you havethat ability to really receive
from the horses even thoughyou're not touching?
And we have to realize, likeyou know, we just went to a
certain degree through a moretouchless society over the last
(15:13):
couple of years, going throughwhat we did, and there's a lot
of ways to connect even withoutthat Right, and so we have to
learn different ways to connectthat honor each other's bodies
and beings, bodies and beings.
And yeah, I just think that.
You know, I I love to when myclients can read it for
(15:35):
themselves and I don't have tosay anything.
So I had girls out recentlythat were.
I said, yeah, go ahead andbrush my horse, salita, she
loves it, yeah, and she wouldkeep walking away from them and
didn't really want it.
And I said, girls, how do youknow?
And know, and?
And they said, well, she'swalking away and she just we
just feel that she's notinterested.
I'm like, yeah, I agree withyou, so what else is possible
(15:56):
here?
right, and so they they stoppedand then they watched what, what
Phoenix was doing, and that'sreally where the lesson was for
all of them there was a groupand it was just better that way
instead of breaking the groupinto two.
So you, you know, salida washelping me out.
They always are.
They know what's best for thegroup.
And then later I'm like whatwas that about?
Don't you love being brushed?
(16:16):
She's like, yeah, but I wantyou to do it today.
I'm like okay, and they allhave opinions, right.
So?
it's like all right, you knowlike I'm, just because I think
my idea is that it's a good way,it's a good experience for a
client to brush a horse today.
It doesn't mean that it'sreally for the highest good.
(16:38):
So we have to constantly let goof our agenda and our
expectations in this work.
We have to be really good atstaying in the moment, pivoting
and reading energy, and that isa skill that can take some time
to develop.
I didn't necessarily have it,you know, in the first few
months of doing this work.
It's just honed over time.
And I do love giving horseschoice and ideally working in a
(16:58):
herd so it's not just all on onehorse.
But yeah, I think a lot ofpeople think oh well, this is a
luxury that you know you can doit this way.
And I said you know you mightwant to consider whether you
should be doing this work if youcan't offer it in a way that
truly honors the equine If it'sjust one horse, just a round pen
and they have to work becausethey have to earn their keep you
(17:20):
might want to rethink if you'rereally showing the client the
highest human-horse connectionand human-animal bond, because I
don't believe that we gethorses just so that they earn
their keep.
I prefer them to earn theirkeep.
They are not keep, but I don't.
I will never have a horse justfor that.
That is that to me is you know,we're the one that chose to
(17:43):
domesticate them.
We then have to take care ofthem.
That's our agreement.
That's a whole other topic.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I agree, we could go
on for, I think, a whole
interview on that one, because Ifeel the same way.
I have lots of examples I canthink of when it comes to that.
We'll save that for anothertopic.
I loved how you said to stay inthe now moment, because I feel
that's how my horses are.
(18:12):
They live in the now moment andthey want me to be there in
that now moment and to respectthem for how they are feeling.
So to me, the now moment is socritical and not what?
Maybe if it was a group thatcame out, not maybe what
happened in the last session.
Why can't that happen with thehorse in this session?
(18:34):
It's a different day, we'redifferent, we're not the same
either, and to me, you need tolive in the now moment in so
many different ways and it'sreally amazing how you can
connect.
For myself, by remembering tolive in that now moment, and
even even when I think aboutgoing outside or look at hearing
(18:59):
the birds sing, I mean that'sthe now moment sometimes when
you're just, when you just walkout there and you could have
missed that if your mind waselsewhere and you didn't hear
that bird singing, and it is uh,it's just critical in my life
to live in the now moment.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I love it beautiful,
yeah, and they help us get there
.
And I find that as facilitators, we just have to practice that
quite a bit, because a lot ofpeople will say to me Kate, you
just trust them so much and youtrust the work so much and I do.
I just I find that all of theawe and the wonder comes from
(19:36):
just navigating what's going onin this moment with this horse.
They will always show us stuff.
I don't need to createactivities to create breakdowns
that create breakthroughs.
That will naturally happen if Itrust the moment and I trust
the horse.
And you know, I don't need toforce a bunch of stuff to happen
so that people get learning.
(19:58):
Stuff will.
they will immediately getlearning and, even more
importantly than learning, theirnervous system is getting
regulated just by being innature, with the horses and five
times the size of you knowtheir hearts and all these
pieces that naturally happen ininclined energy fields.
So to me it's like that's eventhe bigger benefit is that human
(20:21):
gets centered and grounded andcalm and present and then, if
they, learn something abouttheir leadership style and they
went.
That's awesome as well, but thefirst piece is really just that
their energy gets regulated sothat they can be a better
version of themselves and bemore in their true nature.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Oh, yes, that is
beautifully said.
How true that is.
I love that.
Get more grounded and morefiguring out themselves, and
that is beautiful.
I love that.
Well, and as your sessions end,the part of, after how do you
honor them after they have donetheir work, or even if they have
(21:03):
decided this isn't their day?
I still feel we need to honorthem even after everything is
done.
How do you go about honoringthem at that point?
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I love that added
piece there of like, even if
they didn't do the work, can youstill honor them?
In some ways?
Allowing them to not do thework is the best way to honor
them in that day.
And they know it.
They know that they had achoice, they know that they were
not forced to do something andthat grows your respect and your
(21:36):
rapport with your horse.
And it's the same for riding.
I mean, there are days when Ihave a sweet and sassy horse and
if she's in sassy energy Idon't know if I want to get on
her that day.
So I am constantly evaluating,you know, what is the best thing
for her and for me, and how dowe compromise and all of that.
So my favorite way afterwards isthat horses like to get paid as
(21:59):
much as humans do they you know, they know that they just
showed up and did something foryou as a facilitator, as a coach
they enjoy a reward, andwhether that is whatever that
horse love language is for me.
You know one of my horses thatshe loves belly rubs.
She loves to be brushed.
You know she loves to be talkedto like whispered sweet
(22:22):
nothings to.
That's her favorite.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Thing.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
The other one needs
to have some sort of food, like
that's her favorite thing in theworld.
So it's like I'll bring out,you know, a little bit of
carrots, and I don't overload onsugar because, you know,
especially being on a grasspasture, but I definitely find
that there's ways to reallyhonor them afterwards and make
them.
I often will have the.
I will, as we walk out of asession, I will say thank you so
(22:49):
much horses, and I'll eithercall out their names I do it to
the goats too.
I take a moment, I turn andlook at them, I put my hands in
prayers and then I say to theclients feel free to share your
gratitude with them because youknow it's important for the
clients to realize that thisincredible sentient being that
is nonverbal is helping themgrow and learn and become the
(23:13):
best version of themselves, youknow, just by their way of being
.
And so it takes a moment toreally ground it and ground that
connection and groundinterspecies, you know,
relationship.
So I love doing that.
And then I love paying them andI love them having time off,
not having to go right intosomething else.
(23:33):
Now there are days when I workin Los Angeles and I go
back-to-back and I will switchout a horse if I do more than
two to three sessions, and thathorse is usually, you know.
But I love to take a littlewalk in between sessions and
definitely make sure I walk thehorse to water, ideally if
horses can have break over theirmeal times.
(23:54):
I had a marijuana say pleasedon't make me work over my meal
time, so I always scheduledsessions.
She was fed three times a dayso that she didn't have to work
over lunch because she just waslike, hey, this isn't cool, like
I have worked through my lunchmany times, but that's my choice
, right, and I'm now making achoice on her behalf that she
wouldn't make.
(24:14):
That's dishonoring, right.
So that's what we have to thinkabout.
Like it's our choice to likework through lunch Okay, you
know it's not great for ourbodies, but it's our choice.
But to force another being todo that is not necessarily
respectful right um, and itdoesn't build bond over the
(24:35):
years, which is really what wewant for to pull the best out of
our horses.
So I think having breaks isreally a great thing.
Often, horses need to clearenergy after session as well, so
they will need to pee.
You know, go to the bathroom,they will need to, so they will
need to pee.
You know, go to the bathroom,they will need to roll.
They will need to drink water,they I've I've sometimes seen
(24:55):
them need to nap, and so there'slots of ways that they need to
move and clear the energy, andthen I also I'll have this video
up soon on YouTube my KateNelling and YouTube but that
they, we can also learn to cleartheir energy fields as well,
and we can even do it if wedon't have sneaks.
We can do it right now by justsetting the intention.
(25:15):
My intention is that any energythat these equines picked up
from anyone here today, I'd liketo uncreate and destroy it and
picture it just being dissolved.
You can picture it eitherflying up to the cosmos, being
used and serviced elsewhere,back into the nothingness from
which it came, or you canpicture it going into the earth
and being fully composted andused and serviced for the earth.
(25:37):
So I often find that the bestthing to do is to make sure that
their energy fields are cleared, and ideally after every
session.
If you can't do it after everysession, definitely at the end
of the day sothose are the ways that I honor
them afterwards as well.
So I feel like we need to thinkof these the three-step process
(26:01):
and know that they're justsuper energetically sensitive.
Someone's described themrecently as fragile, and I guess
I don't think of the horseslike that, but they are or they
can be, and so we just have todo our best to set them up for
success.
The way we set our clients upfor success.
We tell our clients where toshow up and what to dress and
(26:23):
where to park, and you know howto pay and what to bring and you
know the waivers and everythingelse.
But we need to have the samesort of detailed awareness and
planning pre, during and postsessions for our horses as well.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Oh, yes, oh, how true
.
And like taking breaks we liketo take breaks and they need to
take a break and thanking them.
I love that, because gratitudeto us means so much.
It means exactly the same tothem.
I mean, I thank mine all thetime for being in my family and
for being there for me and yeah,I love that.
(27:03):
I love showing gratitude tothem.
That is beautiful.
And Kate says as an equinepartnered coach, you have a
certification program that youare working on and is coming
about.
Could you share just a littlebit about that with our
listeners today also?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah, I'd love to, so
this will be something I'll
offer at least once yearly, ifnot twice.
It is a six-month program.
There's three curriculummodules.
The first is really spiritualpsychology learning how to work
with your own triggers as youare coaching, but also working
with other people and theirpersonal and professional growth
(27:46):
journey, and so it's reallyabout coaching skills and people
skills all from my master'sprogram at the University of
Santa Monica and my sort of spinand take on that.
The second part is really abouthorse psychology.
It's understanding human-horseconnection and the human-animal
(28:08):
bond research.
It's also a study in animalcommunication, so it's really
what we're talking about here,but it's how do you do this?
How do you specifically listenand talk to your horses?
And then the third is aboutsuccess psychology and that is
really marketing and businessdevelopment, understanding which
programs you need to set up andpricing.
(28:29):
And I find that, first of all,there's no certification out
there like this, because theseare different skills that are
really truly like what I findmyself to be most successful at,
what is me in my practice mostsuccessful, and I find that
they're the kind of thekeystones to a practice.
So I'm really excited to bebringing like these three areas
(28:51):
of expertise that I've held forthe last several years to others
, and we have people alreadyinterested from all over the
country the United States andactually Australia and elsewhere
and so I am just really excitedto begin in May this year 2022,
and then start again for nextyear, 2022, and then start again
(29:15):
for next year.
So we're beginning and I'mdoing webinars pretty frequently
to introduce it to folksthrough a presentation and
through Q&A.
So if that's something peopleare interested in, they can
reach out to me throughkatenelligancom or my email is
consciousrockstar at gmailcomand I am happy to send the
webinar.
It's a free introductionwebinar for an hour.
(29:36):
People can learn more ifthey're interested.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Oh, wow, oh, that
sounds great.
Oh, that sounds like a greatprogram, kate.
Oh, I just want to thank you somuch for today.
You shared such valuableinformation and then ending it
with your certification programWow, this was incredible.
Thank you again so much, kate.
I loved every moment.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
You are welcome and I
want to thank all of our
listeners for listening to thisincredible interview with our
amazing diva, kate Nelligan.
Please, please, share it withall your family and friends.
Check out all the other hostsand their shows on
DivasThatCarecom.
Have a fantastic day, be kindto all and be sure and remember
(30:28):
the tips that Kate gave youtoday of honoring your horse
before, during and afterwhatever you're doing with them,
and give your animals a hug andshare all your love with them.
Until we connect again onrobust lifestyles, stay strong
and healthy.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Thanks for listening.
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