June 7, 2025 • 47 mins
Come and listen to Host Tina Spoletini chat with her special guest Leisa on her podcast Confidence in Bloom.
Leisa Reid is the Founder of Get Speaking Gigs Now and CEO of the International Speaker Network. With a mission to transform public speaking into a soul-filling business growth strategy, she's the go-to "Talk Doula,” helping entrepreneurs create signature talks and secure bookings for a lifetime. Having rocked over 600 stages, authored 7 books, and graced the airwaves as a podcast host, Leisa shares her proven strategies with others so they can make an impact on the world.
When she's not empowering entrepreneurs, Leisa embraces her roles as a mom, a wife, and a devoted dog-lover, all while indulging her passion for live rock concerts and dance fitness classes.
On this episode, she will share the #1 secret she uses to get speaking gigs!
• Every speaker has a unique "fingerprint" or DNA based on their business, personality, location, and expertise
• Addressing your "speaker's kryptonite" - past experiences that trigger speaking anxiety - is crucial for building confidence
• The most powerful talks come from embodying your message rather than memorizing a script
• Today's audiences prefer authentic, prepared speakers over perfectly polished presentations
• The secret to booking speaking gigs is connecting with other speakers in collaborative communities
• When your message becomes more important than your fear, you'll move beyond avoidance
• Practice is essential for confident delivery, but avoid reading from notes which changes your voice cadence
• Virtual speaking offers significant time-saving advantages while still allowing you to reach global audiences
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and
ideas to inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas that Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen, by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
To find out more about themovement, visit divasthatcarecom
(00:24):
.
After the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
A strong, positive sense of self-esteem is your
first step to anything you wishto accomplish.
Yet too often we attempt toleave our comfort zone.
We have that chorus of innercritics inside our heads the
itty-bitty, shitty committee, asI like to call mine whispering
self-sabotaging doubt and untruetrash talk in our ear.
Confidence in Bloom celebrateswomen who rise above and move
(00:54):
beyond any self-doubt and old,outmoded limiting beliefs.
Women who have reconnected withwho they truly are that
gorgeous, talented, fabulousgift to the world who deserve
recognition and unconditionallove.
My hope is that their insightswill inspire all of you to do
the same.
You know, the most beautifulthing any woman can wear is
(01:15):
confidence.
Here, with the Divas that Carewebsite, I, tina Spoletini,
speak with women now secure intheir own self-confidence so we
can learn from their stories ofhow they found themselves and
became the magnificent rolemodels they are to us all now.
Today I'm chatting with LisaReed.
Lisa is the founder of GetSpeaking Gigs Now and CEO of the
(01:40):
International Speaker Network,with a mission to transform
public speaking into asoul-fulfilling business growth
strategy.
She's the go-to talk doula,helping entrepreneurs create
signature talks and securebookings for a lifetime, having
rocked over 600 stages, authoredseven books and graced the
(02:01):
airways.
As a podcast host, lisa sharesher proven strategies with
others so they can make animpact on the world.
When she's not empoweringentrepreneurs, lisa embraces her
roles as a mom, a wife and adevoted dog lover, all while
indulging her passion for liverock concerts and dance fitness
(02:21):
classes.
On this episode, she will sharethe number one secret she uses
to get speaking gigs.
Welcome, lisa, so excited to behere.
Tina, oh good, I'm so excited.
Okay, so I want to know.
You're called a talk doula.
You wrote your book behind you,I see.
Get Speaking Gigs Now.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Tell us more, us more about that well, I started
speaking like professionally in2013 and I had the pleasure of
having a talk already createdfor me because I was speaking
for a company, like on behalf ofa company, and I had my offer
and everything like that.
But I also started a network ofspeakers because I thought, oh,
(03:04):
this is a little hard to do itby myself and so, even though
I'd had a lot of successes, Ibooked like 83 talks in my first
year.
I didn't want to do it all bymyself.
So what I wasn't expecting fromthe network was that they would
all ask me for help with theirspeaking issues and things like
that, and I started to realize,oh, actually, you have something
(03:27):
that is different.
It's a need that people havewhere they have something they
really want to say, but theyjust can't like put it into
either onto paper or like inslides, like they can't decide
what am I going to actuallyfocus on?
There's too much.
It's kind of like taking a likea brilliant movie, and how do I
edit it down?
(03:48):
And so I started helping peoplecreate their talks.
I call it get your talk readyto rock, and I started teaching
them how.
I was continually gettingbooked Cause I get booked, you
know, booked hundreds andhundreds of times without cold
calling, and I think they wantedto know how to do that too.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
So Okay, so that's like super cool.
So when you said you startedlike you had your program, what
was it exactly Like?
Were you teaching people how?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
to speak right from the get-go, or were you doing
something else?
No, I was working.
So if we back up way, way backin the nineties, I got my
bachelor's and master's degreein speech communication and I
even taught at Cal StateFullerton University, which is
where I got my degrees when Iwas in my 20s.
Then we fast forward a fewdecades.
Here I am speaking for apersonal development company,
and then I started a speakernetwork.
Speakers started asking me forhelp and I didn't have a company
(04:42):
to help speakers at that point.
But I was like wait a second,everyone's always asking me for
help.
It finally dawned on me andmany people had told me I should
do something with speaking.
I just was busy, had excuses,didn't take the call and then
one day I realized this is whatI'm supposed to be doing.
So that was in 2017.
(05:03):
So it was kind of likebackwards, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, no, and that's, and sometimes that's how it
works, right.
Sometimes we have to go throughcertain things in life before
it it actually reality, reallyhits us.
So now you know gettingspeaking gigs, you help people
get on stage.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
What I do is I, yes, but not by doing it for them.
I show them how they can do it.
Here's the one thing I thinkthat's misunderstood.
If you, you know Google searchand things like that you're
trying to be a speaker and youthink like, oh my gosh, okay,
there's this magical unicornformula that I can go do and I'm
going to copy how someone elsedoes it and I'll get on stages.
(05:43):
What I have found, that magicalformula, is actually unique to
every single person.
It's almost like your DNA, likeyour own fingerprint of what
speaking looks like for you,based on your business, your
personality, where you live,what your topics or expertise is
, on what you want to do Do youwant to travel, do you want to
stay at home, Like all thesethings?
(06:03):
What kind of audiences do youwant to have?
There's all these differentcomponents that really make a
unique fingerprint speaker planfor somebody.
So I help people clear out,like what is that for me?
What would that uniquefingerprint plan be for me?
And then now I know what to sayyes to, then now I know what to
(06:25):
go for, then now I know how tohave the conversation, to get
booked and things like that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Okay, okay, so that I like the answer to that
question.
I know that there are otherquestions involved in that, so
what I'm getting, though, ishaving someone else write your
speech or your presentationisn't always the answer.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Oh, I don't think so at all.
No, no, I think for me, and itdepends, like, if you're the
president of the United States,yes, you're going to need a
speech writer.
You know things like that.
There's certain instances inwhich, yes, totally appropriate,
but when it's something that'syour expertise and you have your
own unique way of doing it, oryou know, like you're a coach,
it's like, okay, you have yourown perspective.
(07:09):
That's different.
That makes you you and makespeople want to work with you.
We want to pull.
That's where I think, oh, let'spull the brilliance out.
That's the talk doula part,like you're birthing a baby.
But when you birth a baby, youusually not always you usually
have a team around you.
You have support and likehelping you through the process,
(07:30):
making it easy so that yourbaby comes out nice and healthy
and easily.
So that's how I consider it.
In my world, everyone can have ababy men, women, you know, any
age you can have a baby.
It's your, you're going tobirth your brilliance and
that'll come out in a talk.
So I don't help them, I don'tlike write it for them, but I
(07:52):
listen and I intuit and I watchtheir verbal cues Like what are
they excited about.
And then, oh my gosh, okay, nowwe're onto something, now we're
going to get that baby born andthen that parent, if you will,
the speaker person can thenstart to raise it, nurture it,
like, okay, what are the slidesgoing to look like?
(08:13):
How am I going to deliver it?
What quotes do I want to put in?
And, you know, add all thespecial things, and they're
supporting them along the waywith that too.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I like that.
It's almost like you knowyou've got a dress.
Right, I've got a dress.
Now what do I need to do to thedress to make everybody listen
to everybody, look at this dressand really catch it?
Now I've heard, and I want youto speak a little bit on this
when you have a presenter, likea speaker, they need to speak to
(08:43):
like what is it?
A hundred percent of the people, a hundred percent of the time.
So you need to touch on all thedifferent ways people learn.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I see what you're saying.
Yeah, at first you had me lost,but now I got it.
Yes, so that is something mostpeople don't realize.
Like, people think in words,pictures and feelings.
So if your whole in fact, Ihave some feedback I'm giving to
one of my clients today it's alot of words.
I'm like we need more picturesin there, because, although I
think in words and I love thatthat we're missing the feelings
(09:16):
and we're missing the picture.
So we want to make sure andcapture every, everyone along
the way, and some people aregoing to want statistics 25% of
the people are going to wantstatistics.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So that sounds crazy to me, but I get it Right Cause
I know and I and for me it'smostly men, but I have heard
women say it too.
They like numbers like that,like you know it's not gender
based.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I think it's stereotypically gender based.
I think it.
I think it's just certainpeople think in facts and
figures, that's, youraccountants, your CPAs, your
payroll people, your attorneys,things like that.
Again, this is a very blanketstatement.
It's not true for every singleaccountant or whatever, but it
makes sense.
We need people, like in anorganization, you need people to
be tracking so we don't spendall the money.
(10:01):
We need people to go likeno-transcript, right, right,
exactly, and that makes avillage.
(10:21):
So you know that all thosepeople are in your audience.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And that makes a village.
So you know that all thosepeople are in your audience,
right, and, like, I like how yousaid it takes a village, right,
because having a baby, raisinga baby, takes a village right,
and so I like to look at mybusiness now as my new baby, now
that my babies have grown upand are, you know, doing their
own thing.
Right, this is my new baby.
This is my new era, so to speak.
Right, my new phase of life,and I like that, and so we need
(10:46):
people like you to help uspromote that business.
Promote.
You know what we're doing now.
Right Now, I don't considermyself a speaker, right, I know
that I have this podcast, but,in all honesty, I don't do like
I'm here to help you present you, right.
I'm interested to know, though,how, like, if I came to you and
(11:11):
I said, okay, I want you tohelp me promote my business,
right, and I want to do itthrough podcasting, what, where
do you go from there?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Through podcasting.
Um, yeah, so when I think of it, I think of, like, public
speaking and podcasting aresimilar-ish, like they're in the
same realm.
I guess when I work with peopleand creating that talk, for
example, it usually can thentranslate into podcast topics
(11:41):
when you're guesting on podcasts.
So there's hosting and there'sguesting.
There's two different ways thatyou can approach it.
Right, if you're looking foryour specific, are you asking
for you specifically as a host,or you as a guest, or both?
As a guest, as a guest?
Yeah, so for me, I think, likeit's, I love both.
(12:04):
I love being on podcasts and Ilove speaking.
I think podcasting, guesting, isvery powerful and it's a way to
stay evergreen and it's a wayto, you know, go into other
people's audiences that youwould never have run across
right and help it.
So it helps spread the seeds.
But you don't know when theperson's going to listen, or if
(12:26):
they're going to listen, whatare they going to take action?
It's easier to not take actionbecause they're not right in
front of you when you'respeaking.
They usually more tend to takeaction right away, whether it's,
you know, get a free downloadof something or whatever that.
Whatever that thing is thatyou're asking for people to do
so.
There's different strategiesfor you.
I guess if you're going toguest on podcasts, I would say,
(12:48):
like, have your clear learningpoints, just like you would in a
talk, and tell stories and makesure you have a clear call to
action.
All those kinds of things canhelp you generate clients or,
you know, add to your list.
I've gotten clients and peopleonto my list through podcast
guesting as well.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I love that.
I love that, and so I mean it'sgoing to be different for every
person, right?
Like you know what I want tosay, as as a guest on a podcast
might be different from what youknow, even what the host is
looking for, you know, dependingon the listeners.
And you know, because I wouldthink with podcasting it's going
to be a little bit morenarrowed down right, because I
(13:29):
listen to podcasts that I wantto listen to, right?
You know, whereas I go to anetworking event, everyone is
there for different reasons, andso they're going to listen to
whoever's speaking, but it may,what I am speaking about may not
pertain to them, although Iwant to maybe entertain them
right?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Yeah, potentially yeah.
So what I do is so if I answerthe question, if I like, kind of
, instead of answering yourquestion, gave a comment on
podcast, using podcasting as aspeaker.
Let's just say that.
Let's say you're going to usepodcasting as a speaker and you
already have your, your learningpoints dialed in.
You can take segments of yourtalk and utilize that in terms
(14:12):
of what you would want to shareon a podcast.
You're not going to do the wholething.
You're not going to like give ayou know, 30 minute talk on a
podcast.
That's ridiculous.
But you can then haveconversations about those types
of points or questions or sharestories, and that you can also
reverse, engineer it to makequestions so that, like when a
podcast host says, oh, what areyour questions that you want me
(14:32):
to ask you, you can shift it sothat you are talking about the
same thing.
But I think it's really goodfor newer speakers to be on
podcasts because it allows youto put the words out there
without the pressure of everyonestaring at you or all the
spotlight on you.
You can have a conversation.
It doesn't have to be as tightor professional, you know what I
(14:57):
mean.
You have a little bit moreleeway with it.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I think so too, and it's more real right Like the
it's as a guest, the more likeyou come out right as a guest,
like you get to be you rightWithout all the pressure of
presenting properly.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Well, hopefully you're still you when you're on
stage, but yes, when you'renewer it can be more nerve
wracking.
All that can dissipate, as youdo, just like anything.
As you do it more and moretimes you're like oh and this?
I'm glad you brought that upbecause we're going for
unconscious competence, wherethe body embodies the messaging,
(15:35):
the wording, the stories, sothat you can calm down.
Your nervous system calms downand then all of a sudden,
instead of worrying aboutyourself and worrying about
being nervous and worrying aboutmessing up and all those things
, you're just there to deliver.
You're like I got this.
I know this stuff inside andout.
It's all good.
They can ask me anything, it'snot going to throw me off.
The lights could go out, notgoing to throw me off.
All those things like and thatyou know it comes with
(15:56):
experience.
It's kind of like do youremember those commercials where
they would say how many licksto get to the middle of the
Tootsie Pop?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
No but, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
From the eighties or seventies or something like that
.
So there's no answer, like wedon't know how many licks it
takes to get to the center ofthe Tootsie Pop, but when you do
it enough and you actually gothrough it, you're going to get
there.
So that's what we're going for.
And you can't get conscious,unconscious confidence without
(16:26):
moving through the other stages.
Right, yeah, and that's whatconfidence is right.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
The more you do it, the better you get, and it
doesn't matter what we're doingRight, but the more you do it,
the better you're going to getat it.
And if you're not gettingbetter at it, you don't feel it,
you're not embodying it.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So tell me, I have to know you.
You made a comment of you knowa little while back I was
speaking.
So I love talking right.
Having a conversation like thisto me comes more than natural,
like I feel like I was born.
(17:06):
Talking to people, getting infront of a microphone and
speaking to a room does not comenaturally to me.
Now, I mean, on Zoom, I feel atthe beginning of a conversation
or a talk I feel nervous andI'm all like I don't want to do
this.
Right, and as I'm talking I dosort of settle into the nerves,
like you said, right, but Idon't, I wouldn't say I enjoy it
(17:30):
.
So I want you to like talk onthat a little bit.
Tell me, you know how I canmake not just myself, but even
for our listeners.
How do we make ourselves morecomfortable with the presenting
part of our talk?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Oh, there's so many things we could unwrap there.
Well, one is something I callspeaker's kryptonite, which is,
I mean, I'm not talking aboutlike deep phobias of public
speaking, which I do understand.
A lot of people have that, andnot everyone was tapped to be a
speaker first of all.
So if someone would hate it ordoesn't want to do it or would
rather get a root canal, noworries, you know, no pressure.
(18:07):
Don't do that, don't tortureyourself, right?
But when you're telling me whatyou're telling me, there sounds
like there's something, there'sa desire there and there's an
act, there's a natural gift.
Like you said, I love talking, Ilove engaging with people.
You are in a profession wherepeople could really benefit from
(18:28):
your services.
They could benefit fromlearning more about the power of
what you do, right, and becauseyou're going to work with
people pretty intimately, soit's kind of it's really an
opportunity for you.
But I also am a big fan ofentrepreneurs doing what they
absolutely love and not doingsomething that you like, hate.
(18:48):
Okay, so just putting that outthere.
I'm not married to anything.
What I would usually start withis if someone was coming to me
and they're like I really wantto speak, I think I like I love
talking, like I want to do this,but I'm just a little like I
have a little anxiety about itor just like I get nervous.
I don't like that feeling.
We are going to have aspeaker's kryptonite
(19:10):
conversation and that speaker'skryptonite, which is like the
thing that could kill Supermankryptonite it's.
You know, it's fictional, butthere's something going on
that's attached to the past,that your body like you said I
don't want to do this Like mybody's, like I don't want to do
this.
There's something and we don'tneed to go on air with it, but
(19:33):
there's some experience thathappened and it could have been
completely innocent.
It could be just like there's somany reasons in our childhood
that we get embarrassed,humiliated, you know, and we go,
and our body, our system's likenever again, we're never going
to do that.
Like it could be the teachercalling you up to the chalkboard
and doing a problem that youdon't know how to do.
It could be kids snickering.
It could be something at home,like it could be just something
(19:56):
completely on your own.
So there's no, we're not doinga blame game here, but we do
want to uncover like, what wasthat?
Does anything come to mind Isanything like oh, that was that
time, you know, I messed up atthe school play.
And then our system just saysnope, we're not doing that ever
(20:16):
again.
And then it can create aphysical reaction, which is what
you're kind of having, likethis, like, oh, your nervous
system is like no, no, no, no,no, don't go in there.
And but you've, you're an adult.
Now we're going to assume thatsomething happened, that you
know whatever, somethinghappened a long time ago that
you're still experiencing whenit comes to speaking in front of
other people and you've now golike well, you know, actually, I
(20:37):
think I'm going to be okay, I'msafe, I don't enjoy it, but I'm
going to be okay.
So learning more about whateverthat instance was or maybe it
was a several instances can helpnot to dwell on it but just to
go oh yeah, I'm okay now, likeI'm, I'm an adult, I'm, I know
what I'm talking about, I gotthis.
And the more you can calm,almost like soothe, that part of
(21:02):
you think of it as a little kidthe less anxiety you'll have
and the more enjoyability you'llhave when you go and actually
speak to people and the more youdo it again.
That that also helps to calmthe Right.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Right, and I like that.
You said that, because that'swhat I do in my coaching is I
would release that memory, rightor not, maybe not the memory,
because the memories are stuckwith us, but then.
But I would release the feelingof fear that that whole you know
(21:38):
the emotions behind that memoryof I messed up and there were
people snickering or there were,you know all the things.
Although when you said that,I'm like I don't remember there
ever being, but you know I doremember wanting to go up at the
front of the classroom to writemy answers on the board.
I remember that, right, and I'mnot an attention seeker, like
it's not like I was loving theattention, right, but but when
(21:59):
you said there was a desire tospeak, I'm like I do not have a
desire to speak, right, I meanthat when I first started my
business, my business coach saidnow you need to get speaking
gigs.
And I was like, for what?
I don't need to speak, right, Ijust want to bring these people
in, I want to help these women.
I don't want to speak in frontof, you know, a room full of
(22:20):
women, and but now that you saythat, I'm like I still don't
have the desire, but I wantpeople to know what I know.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
I want people to know that I'm powerful.
That was the second part I wasgoing to say.
So first, you want to like,treat the, like, the, the what's
causing the resistance, right.
And then sometimes because andI say this because, again, I'm
not talking about like deep,deep phobias, which I don't
think you have it's like this isjust like.
I don't really enjoy that part.
But when our message gets biggerthan that, than our desire,
(22:54):
right, it's like, oh, themessage that you have the people
that can be helped by learningmore about you, when that gets
stronger, all of a sudden it'slike okay, I'm just getting over
myself, I'm going to just go.
You know, I got to get to thepeople, like there's people who
need to hear what I have tooffer because it can help their
life.
That's different and that'swhat I call brilliance hoarding
(23:16):
right, where it's like we'reliterally like sitting on our
brilliance Cause, like we.
You know I don't want to dothat and I'm like Lisa, get over
yourself.
People need to hear you andthey're not all going to be in
your in, you know, in theaudience.
So there's thousands of peopleon Facebook and you know the
millions of people, but so,whatever that is, that's like
(23:39):
kind of getting in the way isprobably the area that you need
to work on the most as anentrepreneur.
Oh, the thing I'm avoiding isthe thing that I need to be
doing.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, we're like that and isn't that like how life
works?
Right, like what?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
what I'm avoiding, yeah yeah, yeah, exactly well, I
love that.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that, like when you,
when you had that memory of like, oh, I want to, I want to go
put my answers up.
Did you go and do that, or didyou?
You did Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, and I, and the thing is, I knew, I knew that
people were most likely judgingme because I was judging people.
Okay, right, like I, and I knowthat, like, I know that that's,
you know, a bad, a negativequality.
I'm going to say, right, butit's also human nature, right,
(24:36):
right and so.
But I didn't judge people inthat oh like, oh, my God, I
can't believe she's wearing thator, you know, she didn't comb
her hair.
I was judging about her, likewhat she was doing at the moment
, right.
And so for me, I was like, evenif I'm wrong, like, even if I'm
putting the wrong answers uphere, I'm going to be corrected.
Yes, the whole class is goingto see that I'm wrong, but
that's how I'm going to learn it, right.
And so it was almost like I waspushing myself to be
(24:58):
uncomfortable.
I don't know where that comesfrom, because that's not who I
am today.
Right, and when I see peopleare like that, I really am like,
I admire that right, because Ithink that's how we go forward
in life.
Right Is by being uncomfortableand doing it anyway.
Right, I don't live thatanymore, I don't.
(25:18):
Obviously, life got in the wayand probably overshadowed all
the good parts of that right,the good parts of that Right.
But I mean and that's that's ame issue, that's something that
I need to look at, right, but Iknow that that's how I was in
school, right.
And so when you say that youknow when your message is
stronger than your avoidance, orwhatever you want to call that
(25:42):
right, that's when you know thatyou've stepped forward.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, and that's why I feel like you're kind of like
circling that, circling thatnewness of of being.
Yeah, and I mentioned thatbecause I know you, probably
when you and I spoke, we'respeaking about speaking Cause,
that's like you're.
You know, we're talking aboutwhat I do, but if you really
(26:07):
didn't want to do it at all, Idon't know if you would have
brought it up.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Well, and I mean now that you know, it's come out in
second in our conversation here,which was not my plan in the
first place.
Right, I have I wouldn't callit a desire, but I'm definitely
more open, right, Like I'mfeeling a lot more open towards
it, Whereas when you and I spokeI don't know how long ago was
two months ago I was like no, Ireally don't want to do that,
(26:35):
Right.
So, obviously I've done somegrowth in the meantime, right,
and I and so I.
Maybe we should talk about thattoo, like if someone comes to
you and says, lisa, I reallydon't want to do like speaking
or presenting in front of agroup, what are my other options
?
Because I need to get my voiceout there and I want people to
know I'm here to help them andthis is how I can help them.
(26:57):
What, what are our?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
options.
Yeah, usually when people cometo me, they are like like I've
always wanted to do this, I knowI could do it.
I just you know.
So it's like they don't usuallycome to me going like, what
else can I do besides that?
But I mean, podcasting isthat's a great avenue for you.
You enjoy it, you love it, youlove talking to people.
So that's certainly one.
Videos is another one.
(27:19):
Lives I mean, when I startedspeaking, facebook live wasn't
even invented, like you think.
Like YouTube has not even beenaround that long, so it might be
videos, something like that.
If you're a writer, maybe it'sblogging or you know some other
type of article writing.
So writing a book is obviouslygreat.
I have a book.
(27:40):
I've been in seven, eight otherbooks as well, but that's a
little bit different way tomarket yourself.
So typically I'll look at thewhole thing and I'll say, okay,
what's your business?
What do you want?
Why do you want it?
How are you going to make money?
Like, what's the best way foryou to get people in the door to
(28:01):
what you're trying to do?
And then we go from there.
But for me, my lane is speaking.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
So but for me, my lane is speaking Right right,
and with that I mean thatincludes that's not just getting
up on a stage.
Right Speaking has a lot to dowith speaking.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
It can be speaking virtually, which is what I do
most of the time now I speak.
I used to speak pretty much100% in person until 2020.
And then we moved to virtualand now I speak virtually all
the time.
I speak in other states andcountries really easily with,
you know, my flip flops and my,my sweats on it's awesome my
(28:40):
yoga pants.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Yes, I know that's one thing 2020 has brought to us
.
Right is we can be comfortable,still look professional or
sound professional, right, butwearing the flip-flops and the
yoga pants?
Right, I mean, I don't wear myshoes in the house, but, yeah,
yeah, I get it.
Um, uh, I now I lost myquestion.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Well, I'll share a couple other things while you're
yes, please, you're finding it.
One thing that I I really uhappreciate about virtual
speaking is the amount of timeit saves me.
I used to, you know, be drivingon the freeways and doing all
these things that I'd show up tothe event, you know, way ahead
of time, stay till the end, andthat would my whole day is gone.
(29:28):
I can't really do stuff whenI'm driving.
I you know I can't be checkingemails or anything like that,
and so now, when I shifted tovirtual and I do speak in person
by request in my local area,I'll do that but now I can
literally just click a button,be speaking in a completely
different country or state, andthen click the button and be
done different country or state,and then click the button and
be done, and I have all the restof the day to do whatever I
want, and then I can get instanttrickle of leads coming in all
(29:49):
the time.
I think that's one of thebiggest issues like coaches have
, which I think a lot of yourclients or your listeners
probably are in some kind ofcoaching space is you want to
help people but you're like buthow do I convince them or how do
I get them to believe that Ireally want to help them and
that I really want to do this?
And speaking is one of thosenice ways and for me, I find it
(30:12):
very fulfilling because you'reteaching I consider myself a
teacher disguised as a speakerand that I could really relate
to what you're saying.
I don't need to be the centerof attention.
I also don't need to be thecenter of attention, but if I
know the answer and I know thatI have some information that's
going to help people, I have noproblem being at the front of
(30:32):
the room, right, and I thinkthat's that same thing that you
have.
You're like, and also you saidif I'm wrong, that's fine, I'll
learn from the experience.
That's um, the courage like.
Not everybody is okay with that.
Some people will crumble underthat, that's fine.
But when you're a speaker,you're like you know what?
I've got some really valuablestuff I can share with you.
(30:53):
You're gonna benefit from it.
Let's get started.
Boom, boom, boom, organized andthat's all you need to do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
That's it and that, yeah.
And also, too, it's not reallynecessarily.
You know, like, if you need theconfidence, right, but not the
confidence in the speaking andthe presenting, you need to have
the confidence in what you'resharing, absolutely, like.
If you know, like, okay, sothis is the big thing.
Um, I was in a course not toolong ago and what they said was,
(31:19):
when you can talk to, you knowfor hours right on what you know
, that's what your talk is about, that's what you need to be
sharing, right, and so a lot ofme and this is a confidence
issue for me I know I can talkabout my kids for days, right, I
have so much to share about mykids, about parenting them,
(31:43):
being the parent you know whatI've learned from them.
You know, when it comes to mybusiness, I'm still in the
learning phase of you know, notall of it, because I mean I do
feel like it's super strong andsuper powerful, but it's I don't
know how to express it LikeI've been doing it for years,
(32:04):
because I haven't been doing itfor years, right, right.
So let I'd like to know how youhelp people like me that are,
you know, in the new phase oftheir business, and how they can
share what they know and whatthey want to know and what what
they want others to know.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, that's what I'll do in the do, when we're
talking about the talk doula,when I help someone get their
talk ready to rock, we literallydo that and I say, listen, you
can actually just kind of chillfor a second.
I'm gonna take the driver'sseat and I'm gonna ask you
questions and your brilliancewill literally start to come out
.
And I'm recording all this likeI'm watching.
(32:41):
I'm.
I'm usually typing while I'mlike it's you get to come into
my matrix, right, I'm in flow,and then at one point we have
enough to go okay, now we've gotsomething.
We've got three.
We I like to work with threeslike we've got three main areas
that we're going to cover,whether it's a concept, an
exercise, a point, a lesson, amodel, like whatever, everyone's
(33:05):
got a different, differentthing, and then you'll start to
light up, you'll be like oh mygosh, that's exactly what I've
been trying to say this wholetime.
Like, and you're like yeah,that's because what the switch?
Exactly what you said.
So I'm just really there tocatch your brilliance and pull
it out and you have enough, youhave plenty.
So don't be dissuaded by youryears of experience.
(33:27):
And let's say, we created atalk today because that's how
long it takes me.
It's like we do it.
In a couple hours, we literallycome up with your title
description, your learningpoints, your call to action.
So you have it all laid out.
You're like now you can go doyour slides and all that stuff.
But we know you could getbooked with that information and
you would feel confident.
Because you're like oh, that'swhat I've been saying this whole
(33:50):
time.
I've been always talking aboutthis kind of thing.
Everyone needs to know this.
This is so cool.
Then that will help that.
And I'm not.
I'm not Tina, you don't need todo this, but I'm just saying,
like, as an example, that's howpeople feel, because then
they're not worried.
Oh, what do I talk about?
I don't know what I would say.
What would I?
What are they going to ask mewhat I speak about?
Oh, my gosh, what am I going totell them.
(34:10):
So we need to just erase allthat and take action, put a
stake in the ground.
And what's exciting is, a yearfrom now, two years from now,
three years, five, 10 years fromnow, your talks will evolve and
change.
Because you are going to evolveand change and you're like, oh,
I actually want to shift it now, but then you have the cadence.
(34:31):
Then you know, okay, I'm justgoing to swap this learning
point out where I'm going tocreate a whole new one.
But you know you've done it abunch of times, so all this
nervousness kind of just floatsaway.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Right and I love that .
So I mean I'm using myself asan example, but I mean yeah,
clearly, clearly I mean thisisn't just, it's not about me,
right, like.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
I was like yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
So I was like yeah, it doesn't mean you have to, but
exactly, and I don't want topull like clients out, and you
know I don't want to like, Idon't want to feel, make anyone
feel like I'm, you know, but Imean obviously, I mean my
business is fairly new, right,especially with the new coaching
, and so, yeah, like I, I mean Iknow there's learning steps,
but I mean the truth is, whenyou have a passion right, when
(35:12):
you have the passion for whatyou're doing, you can speak
about it.
Right, I catch myself all thetime telling people the things
that I know and I know it.
You know like I catch myselfgoing oh my god, like here I'm
people the things that I knowand I know it.
You know like I catch myselfgoing oh my God, like here I'm
telling the world and I don'teven realize that I'm telling
the world, right, and so that's,I mean that's the confidence in
what you're doing as well,right, yeah, so I have a
(35:35):
question for you.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I wonder if your close friends or your family,
your kids, would be able to saylike they're like oh, mom always
talks about this, she alwaysteaches us that, that, that,
that, that.
That's probably where some realgreat nuggets are.
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
My kids could tell you like they'll roll their eyes
and we'll say oh, she neverends, right?
She never stops.
I'm always trying to coach themthrough life without coaching
them, right, so I'll give themlittle tidbits.
My daughter's really good,she's super open, open-minded,
and so she'll take the tidbits.
My boys, on the other hand, arelike please, I don't believe in
(36:13):
the coaching stuff, right?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Well, you might be surprised how old are your, how
old are your sons?
They're 23 and 18.
Okay, it's so interesting.
So I started doing somepersonal development, more
personal development work, whenmy daughter was around six years
old, and she is so.
I always tell her she has moreEQ than most adults will ever
have.
And I heard her on the phoneone time with her friend and
(36:40):
she's like, okay, so well, whydo you feel that way?
Or like, tell me more aboutthat?
I'm like, oh, my girl, and sheshe'll say she'll go.
Mom, my friends aren't as goodof listeners as you.
Like, you do, do that thingthat you do with I.
Need you to do the thing thatyou do, mom.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Well, you know they okay, so we learn them.
I think we learn from them morethan what they learned from us,
but they are.
They, monkey, see, monkey, doright.
They might not realize whatthey're doing Right, but they,
they follow us because they, wemodel for them.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Right, and so your sons are probably, even though
they might not admit it.
I would imagine that theirrelationships, you know where,
their work relation, all thepersonal development, personal,
professional relationships theyhave will be improved because of
you.
Oh, I agree, I mean, I don't, Idon't see it right?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Like I don't see it, and they would never admit it,
right, because boys, that's okay, especially when it comes to
their mom, right, their dadmaybe right, but not their mom,
and I think that's normal.
And I'm totally not likeoffended by that Because, at the
end of the day, I am their rolemodel, whether they want to
admit it or not, right?
We all learn from our parents.
So, yeah, is there anythingthat you could tell our
(37:59):
listeners that they need to know?
Um, but it's not like you knowwhat, what's how, I don't know
how to say it.
Every speaker needs to knowsomething about what they're
speaking about and how they'respeaking, but not everyone has
to live it in their daily life.
What, what would you say?
That is?
Speaker 3 (38:18):
um, I, I think practicing is really under.
I still practice when I have anew talk.
I mean when I've given a talk50 times, no, I don't practice.
But when I've given it zerotimes, yes, I definitely
practice.
Or maybe if I've only given itonce, like when I, when I shift
talks, like I have a new onethat I'm developing for an
(38:39):
association that isn't my normalaudience, so I will, I know
months in advance, so I'mwriting it now I haven't even
started with slides yet, butthen it'll be slides, then I'll
start tweaking it, then I'll sayit out loud, then I'll say it
out again, then I'll say italoud again and I practice,
practice, practice until I feellike, whew, okay, we're in there
(39:00):
.
Now I already know if I don'tgive that talk a hundred times,
I don't know if it's ever goingto deeply seep into my conscious
, unconscious, confidence.
But I am going to do my best.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Well, I mean at the end, like anybody else right,
and and isn't that all we askfor?
All I ask for is you give meyour best, you know, and
whatever that is that day,that's fine Right, but you know,
give me your best.
Yeah, absolutely, I love that.
Thank you so much for that.
Is there anything else that youwant our listeners to know?
Speaker 3 (39:43):
one secret to a steady stream of speaking
referrals.
And to keep it short and sweet,I would say if that is a desire
that you have as a listener,you're like I would like to be
speaking, but I don't know howto get started.
I don't know where I would go,I don't know how I would get
speaking engagements and I don'twant to cold call or Google
search or chat, gpt search.
Then I would recommend starthanging out with some other
speakers and know that they areon the same journey as you and
(40:05):
they can be your biggest allies.
That's why we have theInternational Speaker Network,
because we literally convergetogether, because everyone is
there to support each other.
Everyone is there to supporteach other, and so my biggest
(40:25):
secret that's helped me fromcold calling is to hang out with
other speakers and acollaborative community.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I love that.
Thank you so much for that.
Yeah, one more thing I want toask you is perfection.
Do we really expect perfectionfrom the speaker that's in front
of us, or do we want them to bereal like we are?
Speaker 3 (40:46):
Well, I think, definitely now, real is more
attractive.
Gone are the perfected videosof the 80s or whatever.
But that to be said on socialmedia, yes, there are very
professional created videos andthings like that, and it depends
(41:06):
on the venue.
But I definitely think peoplerelate more to being authentic,
being raw, being real, which isnot to be confused with being
unprepared and messy and wingingit, flying by the seat of your
pants.
That's it.
Those are two.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
So you still need to be prepared, you still need to
practice.
But if you mess up, it's notthe end of the world.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
No, and I don't when I say practice like I don't
recommend memorizing it.
Again, it's an embodimentversus memorizing.
And also, if anyone is speakingand they're like, let's say,
you're speaking virtually andyou're reading from your notes,
I can tell.
So the other audience members,maybe they can tell, maybe not,
(41:52):
I don't know.
But there's a different cadenceto our voice when we are
reading versus when we're justlike I'm here with you guys,
here's what we're doing.
It is very obvious when someoneis reading, even if you
couldn't see them reading, right.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
I've noticed that myself too.
I'm not there yet.
I still feel the need to read,but I mean, I get it.
I do get that.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah, I had a client who had the same issue with
perfection and doing it rightand being and it's all has to be
wonderful.
And she had spent a lot ofmoney on a speaking coach
program from many years ago butstill wasn't speaking.
And I'm like what's the deal?
Like what, why, what are wedoing here?
And she confessed to me youknow, I'm just so anxious every
(42:37):
time I have a talk and I'm I'mjust toiling about the words and
making it all perfect and I'vegot to have my notes and all
this stuff.
And when we started workingtogether, she finally was able
to release it.
And once she released thatinner resistance, she started
speaking four times a month,started attracting her clients,
(43:02):
filling her programs throughspeaking.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Finally, I love that, and so I'm going to ask you
what did you do, Like what didyou really do?
Speaker 3 (43:09):
I put a spell on her.
I literally know, I thinkthere's something about when
someone just links arms with youand is like, okay, let me get
to know you, your business, whatis it you want and why are we
(43:32):
not there yet?
Like, what can we do to shiftthis way of being, way of
thinking, similar to you whenyou're coaching people.
Like, okay, I see that you'vehad this issue for a long time.
Okay, I understand, let'sunpack it and let's move through
it safely together and thenthey can release.
It's like, you know, releasingyou into the wild.
(43:54):
Go, do your thing.
But that care and considerationisn't always given in certain
programs.
Maybe there's not individualattention, it's like you can
learn the steps.
But there's something magicalwhen at least I find when people
work with me, they're like oh,like you're really looking at my
(44:16):
stuff.
I'm like, yeah, I'm reallylooking at your stuff, like I'm
really learning about you andwhat you want and why, and then
we're going to be able to makesome help you make decisions
that will serve you for the restof your career, not just for
speaking, but like I want you tobe super clear on your yeses,
your no's, what's in alignmentfor you, what's okay, you don't
(44:39):
have to do it this way you don'thave to do it that way, you
don't should.
You know what I mean, like allthose things, like just be real,
and I think that's soincredibly empowering.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
I do too.
I do too, and thank you forthat, because I think, first of
all, our listeners need to know,right, that that's what you're
looking for, and also yourspeakers, like the speakers that
work with you, the speakersthat you know potentially will
be working with you.
They need to know that it's thereal, the real you that we want
, right, we don't want we're notliving in the 80s anymore and
(45:09):
you know, like myself, we I needto get a grip on that right.
Like we don't want perfection,we want you, we want the real
you in front of us and you know.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
I just got an email yesterday, tina, that someone
asked me and he'd met me, likewe've had a Zoom call.
He said I just want to check,like your program's, not like an
AI bot or something right?
He goes it's you right?
I said absolutely, so, that'shappening, right.
Those are, those are questionsthat are going to start coming
(45:39):
in and there's a lot of us whodon't want that yet Now.
I don't know, in a year or twothat might change, but for now
there's still people who reallywant people.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Yeah, and, and let's hope that that lasts for a while
, because you know we're goingto be really struggling to work
if we are going to be using andrelying on AI, but that's a
whole new conversation.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, thank you so much forjoining me today, lisa.
This has been great.
I hope our listeners who arethinking about speaking or just
(46:11):
getting into the speaking realm,they know they can come to you,
they can and they can realize,like they will realize, that you
know what's expected of them?
Speaker 3 (46:21):
Absolutely.
Should I share a gift or are weputting that If you have a gift
, yes, please share it.
Absolutely.
You can get the five top tipsto get more speaking gigs now,
because, like we didn't go intoall the tips, obviously, and
that's available atGetSpeakingGigsNowcom slash tips
.
So GetSpeakingGigs with an Sbecause you want more than one.
Getspeakinggigsnowcom slashtips so get speaking gigs with
(46:42):
the S because you want more thanone.
Get speaking gigs now.
Dot com slash tips.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Awesome.
Thank you so much.
Confidence in Bloom is acelebration of self love, a
confirmation that, even thoughyou may not look like a screen
star or a supermodel and theydon't even look like that you
are an amazing, desirable,brilliant, gorgeous, talented
woman.
We offer unconditional love toour partners, our children, our
extended family, even our pets.
(47:08):
It's high time we got out ofour own way and learn to
unconditionally love ourselves,and Full Bloom Styling and
Coaching offers an onlineprogram combined with one-on-one
coaching in confidence,building personal branding and
creating your signature fashionlook.
Chic definitely does come inevery shape.
So if you want something tobelieve in, start with yourself.
(47:29):
If you'd like to be a guesthere on Confidence in Bloom,
contact me through Instagram atinfobloomstyling, by email at
tina at infobloomstylingcom orthrough the Divas that Care
website.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Thanks, for listening this show was brought or
through the Divas that Carewebsite.
Thanks for listening.
This show was brought to you byDivas that Care.
Connect with us on Facebook, onInstagram and, of course, on
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It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and
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Welcome to Divas that Care, anetwork of women committed to
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This is a global movement forwomen, by women engaged in a
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To find out more about themovement, visit divasthatcarecom
(00:24):
.
After the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
A strong, positive sense of self-esteem is your
first step to anything you wishto accomplish.
Yet too often we attempt toleave our comfort zone.
We have that chorus of innercritics inside our heads the
itty-bitty, shitty committee, asI like to call mine whispering
self-sabotaging doubt and untruetrash talk in our ear.
Confidence in Bloom celebrateswomen who rise above and move
(00:54):
beyond any self-doubt and old,outmoded limiting beliefs.
Women who have reconnected withwho they truly are that
gorgeous, talented, fabulousgift to the world who deserve
recognition and unconditionallove.
My hope is that their insightswill inspire all of you to do
the same.
You know, the most beautifulthing any woman can wear is
(01:15):
confidence.
Here, with the Divas that Carewebsite, I, tina Spoletini,
speak with women now secure intheir own self-confidence so we
can learn from their stories ofhow they found themselves and
became the magnificent rolemodels they are to us all now.
Today I'm chatting with LisaReed.
Lisa is the founder of GetSpeaking Gigs Now and CEO of the
(01:40):
International Speaker Network,with a mission to transform
public speaking into asoul-fulfilling business growth
strategy.
She's the go-to talk doula,helping entrepreneurs create
signature talks and securebookings for a lifetime, having
rocked over 600 stages, authoredseven books and graced the
(02:01):
airways.
As a podcast host, lisa sharesher proven strategies with
others so they can make animpact on the world.
When she's not empoweringentrepreneurs, lisa embraces her
roles as a mom, a wife and adevoted dog lover, all while
indulging her passion for liverock concerts and dance fitness
(02:21):
classes.
On this episode, she will sharethe number one secret she uses
to get speaking gigs.
Welcome, lisa, so excited to behere.
Tina, oh good, I'm so excited.
Okay, so I want to know.
You're called a talk doula.
You wrote your book behind you,I see.
Get Speaking Gigs Now.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Tell us more, us more about that well, I started
speaking like professionally in2013 and I had the pleasure of
having a talk already createdfor me because I was speaking
for a company, like on behalf ofa company, and I had my offer
and everything like that.
But I also started a network ofspeakers because I thought, oh,
(03:04):
this is a little hard to do itby myself and so, even though
I'd had a lot of successes, Ibooked like 83 talks in my first
year.
I didn't want to do it all bymyself.
So what I wasn't expecting fromthe network was that they would
all ask me for help with theirspeaking issues and things like
that, and I started to realize,oh, actually, you have something
(03:27):
that is different.
It's a need that people havewhere they have something they
really want to say, but theyjust can't like put it into
either onto paper or like inslides, like they can't decide
what am I going to actuallyfocus on?
There's too much.
It's kind of like taking a likea brilliant movie, and how do I
edit it down?
(03:48):
And so I started helping peoplecreate their talks.
I call it get your talk readyto rock, and I started teaching
them how.
I was continually gettingbooked Cause I get booked, you
know, booked hundreds andhundreds of times without cold
calling, and I think they wantedto know how to do that too.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
So Okay, so that's like super cool.
So when you said you startedlike you had your program, what
was it exactly Like?
Were you teaching people how?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
to speak right from the get-go, or were you doing
something else?
No, I was working.
So if we back up way, way backin the nineties, I got my
bachelor's and master's degreein speech communication and I
even taught at Cal StateFullerton University, which is
where I got my degrees when Iwas in my 20s.
Then we fast forward a fewdecades.
Here I am speaking for apersonal development company,
and then I started a speakernetwork.
Speakers started asking me forhelp and I didn't have a company
(04:42):
to help speakers at that point.
But I was like wait a second,everyone's always asking me for
help.
It finally dawned on me andmany people had told me I should
do something with speaking.
I just was busy, had excuses,didn't take the call and then
one day I realized this is whatI'm supposed to be doing.
So that was in 2017.
(05:03):
So it was kind of likebackwards, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, no, and that's, and sometimes that's how it
works, right.
Sometimes we have to go throughcertain things in life before
it it actually reality, reallyhits us.
So now you know gettingspeaking gigs, you help people
get on stage.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
What I do is I, yes, but not by doing it for them.
I show them how they can do it.
Here's the one thing I thinkthat's misunderstood.
If you, you know Google searchand things like that you're
trying to be a speaker and youthink like, oh my gosh, okay,
there's this magical unicornformula that I can go do and I'm
going to copy how someone elsedoes it and I'll get on stages.
(05:43):
What I have found, that magicalformula, is actually unique to
every single person.
It's almost like your DNA, likeyour own fingerprint of what
speaking looks like for you,based on your business, your
personality, where you live,what your topics or expertise is
, on what you want to do Do youwant to travel, do you want to
stay at home, Like all thesethings?
(06:03):
What kind of audiences do youwant to have?
There's all these differentcomponents that really make a
unique fingerprint speaker planfor somebody.
So I help people clear out,like what is that for me?
What would that uniquefingerprint plan be for me?
And then now I know what to sayyes to, then now I know what to
(06:25):
go for, then now I know how tohave the conversation, to get
booked and things like that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Okay, okay, so that I like the answer to that
question.
I know that there are otherquestions involved in that, so
what I'm getting, though, ishaving someone else write your
speech or your presentationisn't always the answer.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Oh, I don't think so at all.
No, no, I think for me, and itdepends, like, if you're the
president of the United States,yes, you're going to need a
speech writer.
You know things like that.
There's certain instances inwhich, yes, totally appropriate,
but when it's something that'syour expertise and you have your
own unique way of doing it, oryou know, like you're a coach,
it's like, okay, you have yourown perspective.
(07:09):
That's different.
That makes you you and makespeople want to work with you.
We want to pull.
That's where I think, oh, let'spull the brilliance out.
That's the talk doula part,like you're birthing a baby.
But when you birth a baby, youusually not always you usually
have a team around you.
You have support and likehelping you through the process,
(07:30):
making it easy so that yourbaby comes out nice and healthy
and easily.
So that's how I consider it.
In my world, everyone can have ababy men, women, you know, any
age you can have a baby.
It's your, you're going tobirth your brilliance and
that'll come out in a talk.
So I don't help them, I don'tlike write it for them, but I
(07:52):
listen and I intuit and I watchtheir verbal cues Like what are
they excited about.
And then, oh my gosh, okay, nowwe're onto something, now we're
going to get that baby born andthen that parent, if you will,
the speaker person can thenstart to raise it, nurture it,
like, okay, what are the slidesgoing to look like?
(08:13):
How am I going to deliver it?
What quotes do I want to put in?
And, you know, add all thespecial things, and they're
supporting them along the waywith that too.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I like that.
It's almost like you knowyou've got a dress.
Right, I've got a dress.
Now what do I need to do to thedress to make everybody listen
to everybody, look at this dressand really catch it?
Now I've heard, and I want youto speak a little bit on this
when you have a presenter, likea speaker, they need to speak to
(08:43):
like what is it?
A hundred percent of the people, a hundred percent of the time.
So you need to touch on all thedifferent ways people learn.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I see what you're saying.
Yeah, at first you had me lost,but now I got it.
Yes, so that is something mostpeople don't realize.
Like, people think in words,pictures and feelings.
So if your whole in fact, Ihave some feedback I'm giving to
one of my clients today it's alot of words.
I'm like we need more picturesin there, because, although I
think in words and I love thatthat we're missing the feelings
(09:16):
and we're missing the picture.
So we want to make sure andcapture every, everyone along
the way, and some people aregoing to want statistics 25% of
the people are going to wantstatistics.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So that sounds crazy to me, but I get it Right Cause
I know and I and for me it'smostly men, but I have heard
women say it too.
They like numbers like that,like you know it's not gender
based.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I think it's stereotypically gender based.
I think it.
I think it's just certainpeople think in facts and
figures, that's, youraccountants, your CPAs, your
payroll people, your attorneys,things like that.
Again, this is a very blanketstatement.
It's not true for every singleaccountant or whatever, but it
makes sense.
We need people, like in anorganization, you need people to
be tracking so we don't spendall the money.
(10:01):
We need people to go likeno-transcript, right, right,
exactly, and that makes avillage.
(10:21):
So you know that all thosepeople are in your audience.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And that makes a village.
So you know that all thosepeople are in your audience,
right, and, like, I like how yousaid it takes a village, right,
because having a baby, raisinga baby, takes a village right,
and so I like to look at mybusiness now as my new baby, now
that my babies have grown upand are, you know, doing their
own thing.
Right, this is my new baby.
This is my new era, so to speak.
Right, my new phase of life,and I like that, and so we need
(10:46):
people like you to help uspromote that business.
Promote.
You know what we're doing now.
Right Now, I don't considermyself a speaker, right, I know
that I have this podcast, but,in all honesty, I don't do like
I'm here to help you present you, right.
I'm interested to know, though,how, like, if I came to you and
(11:11):
I said, okay, I want you tohelp me promote my business,
right, and I want to do itthrough podcasting, what, where
do you go from there?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Through podcasting.
Um, yeah, so when I think of it, I think of, like, public
speaking and podcasting aresimilar-ish, like they're in the
same realm.
I guess when I work with peopleand creating that talk, for
example, it usually can thentranslate into podcast topics
(11:41):
when you're guesting on podcasts.
So there's hosting and there'sguesting.
There's two different ways thatyou can approach it.
Right, if you're looking foryour specific, are you asking
for you specifically as a host,or you as a guest, or both?
As a guest, as a guest?
Yeah, so for me, I think, likeit's, I love both.
(12:04):
I love being on podcasts and Ilove speaking.
I think podcasting, guesting, isvery powerful and it's a way to
stay evergreen and it's a wayto, you know, go into other
people's audiences that youwould never have run across
right and help it.
So it helps spread the seeds.
But you don't know when theperson's going to listen, or if
(12:26):
they're going to listen, whatare they going to take action?
It's easier to not take actionbecause they're not right in
front of you when you'respeaking.
They usually more tend to takeaction right away, whether it's,
you know, get a free downloadof something or whatever that.
Whatever that thing is thatyou're asking for people to do
so.
There's different strategiesfor you.
I guess if you're going toguest on podcasts, I would say,
(12:48):
like, have your clear learningpoints, just like you would in a
talk, and tell stories and makesure you have a clear call to
action.
All those kinds of things canhelp you generate clients or,
you know, add to your list.
I've gotten clients and peopleonto my list through podcast
guesting as well.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I love that.
I love that, and so I mean it'sgoing to be different for every
person, right?
Like you know what I want tosay, as as a guest on a podcast
might be different from what youknow, even what the host is
looking for, you know, dependingon the listeners.
And you know, because I wouldthink with podcasting it's going
to be a little bit morenarrowed down right, because I
(13:29):
listen to podcasts that I wantto listen to, right?
You know, whereas I go to anetworking event, everyone is
there for different reasons, andso they're going to listen to
whoever's speaking, but it may,what I am speaking about may not
pertain to them, although Iwant to maybe entertain them
right?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Yeah, potentially yeah.
So what I do is so if I answerthe question, if I like, kind of
, instead of answering yourquestion, gave a comment on
podcast, using podcasting as aspeaker.
Let's just say that.
Let's say you're going to usepodcasting as a speaker and you
already have your, your learningpoints dialed in.
You can take segments of yourtalk and utilize that in terms
(14:12):
of what you would want to shareon a podcast.
You're not going to do the wholething.
You're not going to like give ayou know, 30 minute talk on a
podcast.
That's ridiculous.
But you can then haveconversations about those types
of points or questions or sharestories, and that you can also
reverse, engineer it to makequestions so that, like when a
podcast host says, oh, what areyour questions that you want me
(14:32):
to ask you, you can shift it sothat you are talking about the
same thing.
But I think it's really goodfor newer speakers to be on
podcasts because it allows youto put the words out there
without the pressure of everyonestaring at you or all the
spotlight on you.
You can have a conversation.
It doesn't have to be as tightor professional, you know what I
(14:57):
mean.
You have a little bit moreleeway with it.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I think so too, and it's more real right Like the
it's as a guest, the more likeyou come out right as a guest,
like you get to be you rightWithout all the pressure of
presenting properly.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Well, hopefully you're still you when you're on
stage, but yes, when you'renewer it can be more nerve
wracking.
All that can dissipate, as youdo, just like anything.
As you do it more and moretimes you're like oh and this?
I'm glad you brought that upbecause we're going for
unconscious competence, wherethe body embodies the messaging,
(15:35):
the wording, the stories, sothat you can calm down.
Your nervous system calms downand then all of a sudden,
instead of worrying aboutyourself and worrying about
being nervous and worrying aboutmessing up and all those things
, you're just there to deliver.
You're like I got this.
I know this stuff inside andout.
It's all good.
They can ask me anything, it'snot going to throw me off.
The lights could go out, notgoing to throw me off.
All those things like and thatyou know it comes with
(15:56):
experience.
It's kind of like do youremember those commercials where
they would say how many licksto get to the middle of the
Tootsie Pop?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
No but, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
From the eighties or seventies or something like that
.
So there's no answer, like wedon't know how many licks it
takes to get to the center ofthe Tootsie Pop, but when you do
it enough and you actually gothrough it, you're going to get
there.
So that's what we're going for.
And you can't get conscious,unconscious confidence without
(16:26):
moving through the other stages.
Right, yeah, and that's whatconfidence is right.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
The more you do it, the better you get, and it
doesn't matter what we're doingRight, but the more you do it,
the better you're going to getat it.
And if you're not gettingbetter at it, you don't feel it,
you're not embodying it.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So tell me, I have to know you.
You made a comment of you knowa little while back I was
speaking.
So I love talking right.
Having a conversation like thisto me comes more than natural,
like I feel like I was born.
(17:06):
Talking to people, getting infront of a microphone and
speaking to a room does not comenaturally to me.
Now, I mean, on Zoom, I feel atthe beginning of a conversation
or a talk I feel nervous andI'm all like I don't want to do
this.
Right, and as I'm talking I dosort of settle into the nerves,
like you said, right, but Idon't, I wouldn't say I enjoy it
(17:30):
.
So I want you to like talk onthat a little bit.
Tell me, you know how I canmake not just myself, but even
for our listeners.
How do we make ourselves morecomfortable with the presenting
part of our talk?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Oh, there's so many things we could unwrap there.
Well, one is something I callspeaker's kryptonite, which is,
I mean, I'm not talking aboutlike deep phobias of public
speaking, which I do understand.
A lot of people have that, andnot everyone was tapped to be a
speaker first of all.
So if someone would hate it ordoesn't want to do it or would
rather get a root canal, noworries, you know, no pressure.
(18:07):
Don't do that, don't tortureyourself, right?
But when you're telling me whatyou're telling me, there sounds
like there's something, there'sa desire there and there's an
act, there's a natural gift.
Like you said, I love talking, Ilove engaging with people.
You are in a profession wherepeople could really benefit from
(18:28):
your services.
They could benefit fromlearning more about the power of
what you do, right, and becauseyou're going to work with
people pretty intimately, soit's kind of it's really an
opportunity for you.
But I also am a big fan ofentrepreneurs doing what they
absolutely love and not doingsomething that you like, hate.
(18:48):
Okay, so just putting that outthere.
I'm not married to anything.
What I would usually start withis if someone was coming to me
and they're like I really wantto speak, I think I like I love
talking, like I want to do this,but I'm just a little like I
have a little anxiety about itor just like I get nervous.
I don't like that feeling.
We are going to have aspeaker's kryptonite
(19:10):
conversation and that speaker'skryptonite, which is like the
thing that could kill Supermankryptonite it's.
You know, it's fictional, butthere's something going on
that's attached to the past,that your body like you said I
don't want to do this Like mybody's, like I don't want to do
this.
There's something and we don'tneed to go on air with it, but
(19:33):
there's some experience thathappened and it could have been
completely innocent.
It could be just like there's somany reasons in our childhood
that we get embarrassed,humiliated, you know, and we go,
and our body, our system's likenever again, we're never going
to do that.
Like it could be the teachercalling you up to the chalkboard
and doing a problem that youdon't know how to do.
It could be kids snickering.
It could be something at home,like it could be just something
(19:56):
completely on your own.
So there's no, we're not doinga blame game here, but we do
want to uncover like, what wasthat?
Does anything come to mind Isanything like oh, that was that
time, you know, I messed up atthe school play.
And then our system just saysnope, we're not doing that ever
(20:16):
again.
And then it can create aphysical reaction, which is what
you're kind of having, likethis, like, oh, your nervous
system is like no, no, no, no,no, don't go in there.
And but you've, you're an adult.
Now we're going to assume thatsomething happened, that you
know whatever, somethinghappened a long time ago that
you're still experiencing whenit comes to speaking in front of
other people and you've now golike well, you know, actually, I
(20:37):
think I'm going to be okay, I'msafe, I don't enjoy it, but I'm
going to be okay.
So learning more about whateverthat instance was or maybe it
was a several instances can helpnot to dwell on it but just to
go oh yeah, I'm okay now, likeI'm, I'm an adult, I'm, I know
what I'm talking about, I gotthis.
And the more you can calm,almost like soothe, that part of
(21:02):
you think of it as a little kidthe less anxiety you'll have
and the more enjoyability you'llhave when you go and actually
speak to people and the more youdo it again.
That that also helps to calmthe Right.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Right, and I like that.
You said that, because that'swhat I do in my coaching is I
would release that memory, rightor not, maybe not the memory,
because the memories are stuckwith us, but then.
But I would release the feelingof fear that that whole you know
(21:38):
the emotions behind that memoryof I messed up and there were
people snickering or there were,you know all the things.
Although when you said that,I'm like I don't remember there
ever being, but you know I doremember wanting to go up at the
front of the classroom to writemy answers on the board.
I remember that, right, and I'mnot an attention seeker, like
it's not like I was loving theattention, right, but but when
(21:59):
you said there was a desire tospeak, I'm like I do not have a
desire to speak, right, I meanthat when I first started my
business, my business coach saidnow you need to get speaking
gigs.
And I was like, for what?
I don't need to speak, right, Ijust want to bring these people
in, I want to help these women.
I don't want to speak in frontof, you know, a room full of
(22:20):
women, and but now that you saythat, I'm like I still don't
have the desire, but I wantpeople to know what I know.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
I want people to know that I'm powerful.
That was the second part I wasgoing to say.
So first, you want to like,treat the, like, the, the what's
causing the resistance, right.
And then sometimes because andI say this because, again, I'm
not talking about like deep,deep phobias, which I don't
think you have it's like this isjust like.
I don't really enjoy that part.
But when our message gets biggerthan that, than our desire,
(22:54):
right, it's like, oh, themessage that you have the people
that can be helped by learningmore about you, when that gets
stronger, all of a sudden it'slike okay, I'm just getting over
myself, I'm going to just go.
You know, I got to get to thepeople, like there's people who
need to hear what I have tooffer because it can help their
life.
That's different and that'swhat I call brilliance hoarding
(23:16):
right, where it's like we'reliterally like sitting on our
brilliance Cause, like we.
You know I don't want to dothat and I'm like Lisa, get over
yourself.
People need to hear you andthey're not all going to be in
your in, you know, in theaudience.
So there's thousands of peopleon Facebook and you know the
millions of people, but so,whatever that is, that's like
(23:39):
kind of getting in the way isprobably the area that you need
to work on the most as anentrepreneur.
Oh, the thing I'm avoiding isthe thing that I need to be
doing.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, we're like that and isn't that like how life
works?
Right, like what?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
what I'm avoiding, yeah yeah, yeah, exactly well, I
love that.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that, like when you,
when you had that memory of like, oh, I want to, I want to go
put my answers up.
Did you go and do that, or didyou?
You did Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, and I, and the thing is, I knew, I knew that
people were most likely judgingme because I was judging people.
Okay, right, like I, and I knowthat, like, I know that that's,
you know, a bad, a negativequality.
I'm going to say, right, butit's also human nature, right,
(24:36):
right and so.
But I didn't judge people inthat oh like, oh, my God, I
can't believe she's wearing thator, you know, she didn't comb
her hair.
I was judging about her, likewhat she was doing at the moment
, right.
And so for me, I was like, evenif I'm wrong, like, even if I'm
putting the wrong answers uphere, I'm going to be corrected.
Yes, the whole class is goingto see that I'm wrong, but
that's how I'm going to learn it, right.
And so it was almost like I waspushing myself to be
(24:58):
uncomfortable.
I don't know where that comesfrom, because that's not who I
am today.
Right, and when I see peopleare like that, I really am like,
I admire that right, because Ithink that's how we go forward
in life.
Right Is by being uncomfortableand doing it anyway.
Right, I don't live thatanymore, I don't.
(25:18):
Obviously, life got in the wayand probably overshadowed all
the good parts of that right,the good parts of that Right.
But I mean and that's that's ame issue, that's something that
I need to look at, right, but Iknow that that's how I was in
school, right.
And so when you say that youknow when your message is
stronger than your avoidance, orwhatever you want to call that
(25:42):
right, that's when you know thatyou've stepped forward.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, and that's why I feel like you're kind of like
circling that, circling thatnewness of of being.
Yeah, and I mentioned thatbecause I know you, probably
when you and I spoke, we'respeaking about speaking Cause,
that's like you're.
You know, we're talking aboutwhat I do, but if you really
(26:07):
didn't want to do it at all, Idon't know if you would have
brought it up.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Well, and I mean now that you know, it's come out in
second in our conversation here,which was not my plan in the
first place.
Right, I have I wouldn't callit a desire, but I'm definitely
more open, right, Like I'mfeeling a lot more open towards
it, Whereas when you and I spokeI don't know how long ago was
two months ago I was like no, Ireally don't want to do that,
(26:35):
Right.
So, obviously I've done somegrowth in the meantime, right,
and I and so I.
Maybe we should talk about thattoo, like if someone comes to
you and says, lisa, I reallydon't want to do like speaking
or presenting in front of agroup, what are my other options
?
Because I need to get my voiceout there and I want people to
know I'm here to help them andthis is how I can help them.
(26:57):
What, what are our?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
options.
Yeah, usually when people cometo me, they are like like I've
always wanted to do this, I knowI could do it.
I just you know.
So it's like they don't usuallycome to me going like, what
else can I do besides that?
But I mean, podcasting isthat's a great avenue for you.
You enjoy it, you love it, youlove talking to people.
So that's certainly one.
Videos is another one.
(27:19):
Lives I mean, when I startedspeaking, facebook live wasn't
even invented, like you think.
Like YouTube has not even beenaround that long, so it might be
videos, something like that.
If you're a writer, maybe it'sblogging or you know some other
type of article writing.
So writing a book is obviouslygreat.
I have a book.
(27:40):
I've been in seven, eight otherbooks as well, but that's a
little bit different way tomarket yourself.
So typically I'll look at thewhole thing and I'll say, okay,
what's your business?
What do you want?
Why do you want it?
How are you going to make money?
Like, what's the best way foryou to get people in the door to
(28:01):
what you're trying to do?
And then we go from there.
But for me, my lane is speaking.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
So but for me, my lane is speaking Right right,
and with that I mean thatincludes that's not just getting
up on a stage.
Right Speaking has a lot to dowith speaking.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
It can be speaking virtually, which is what I do
most of the time now I speak.
I used to speak pretty much100% in person until 2020.
And then we moved to virtualand now I speak virtually all
the time.
I speak in other states andcountries really easily with,
you know, my flip flops and my,my sweats on it's awesome my
(28:40):
yoga pants.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Yes, I know that's one thing 2020 has brought to us
.
Right is we can be comfortable,still look professional or
sound professional, right, butwearing the flip-flops and the
yoga pants?
Right, I mean, I don't wear myshoes in the house, but, yeah,
yeah, I get it.
Um, uh, I now I lost myquestion.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Well, I'll share a couple other things while you're
yes, please, you're finding it.
One thing that I I really uhappreciate about virtual
speaking is the amount of timeit saves me.
I used to, you know, be drivingon the freeways and doing all
these things that I'd show up tothe event, you know, way ahead
of time, stay till the end, andthat would my whole day is gone.
(29:28):
I can't really do stuff whenI'm driving.
I you know I can't be checkingemails or anything like that,
and so now, when I shifted tovirtual and I do speak in person
by request in my local area,I'll do that but now I can
literally just click a button,be speaking in a completely
different country or state, andthen click the button and be
done different country or state,and then click the button and
be done, and I have all the restof the day to do whatever I
want, and then I can get instanttrickle of leads coming in all
(29:49):
the time.
I think that's one of thebiggest issues like coaches have
, which I think a lot of yourclients or your listeners
probably are in some kind ofcoaching space is you want to
help people but you're like buthow do I convince them or how do
I get them to believe that Ireally want to help them and
that I really want to do this?
And speaking is one of thosenice ways and for me, I find it
(30:12):
very fulfilling because you'reteaching I consider myself a
teacher disguised as a speakerand that I could really relate
to what you're saying.
I don't need to be the centerof attention.
I also don't need to be thecenter of attention, but if I
know the answer and I know thatI have some information that's
going to help people, I have noproblem being at the front of
(30:32):
the room, right, and I thinkthat's that same thing that you
have.
You're like, and also you saidif I'm wrong, that's fine, I'll
learn from the experience.
That's um, the courage like.
Not everybody is okay with that.
Some people will crumble underthat, that's fine.
But when you're a speaker,you're like you know what?
I've got some really valuablestuff I can share with you.
(30:53):
You're gonna benefit from it.
Let's get started.
Boom, boom, boom, organized andthat's all you need to do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
That's it and that, yeah.
And also, too, it's not reallynecessarily.
You know, like, if you need theconfidence, right, but not the
confidence in the speaking andthe presenting, you need to have
the confidence in what you'resharing, absolutely, like.
If you know, like, okay, sothis is the big thing.
Um, I was in a course not toolong ago and what they said was,
(31:19):
when you can talk to, you knowfor hours right on what you know
, that's what your talk is about, that's what you need to be
sharing, right, and so a lot ofme and this is a confidence
issue for me I know I can talkabout my kids for days, right, I
have so much to share about mykids, about parenting them,
(31:43):
being the parent you know whatI've learned from them.
You know, when it comes to mybusiness, I'm still in the
learning phase of you know, notall of it, because I mean I do
feel like it's super strong andsuper powerful, but it's I don't
know how to express it LikeI've been doing it for years,
(32:04):
because I haven't been doing itfor years, right, right.
So let I'd like to know how youhelp people like me that are,
you know, in the new phase oftheir business, and how they can
share what they know and whatthey want to know and what what
they want others to know.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, that's what I'll do in the do, when we're
talking about the talk doula,when I help someone get their
talk ready to rock, we literallydo that and I say, listen, you
can actually just kind of chillfor a second.
I'm gonna take the driver'sseat and I'm gonna ask you
questions and your brilliancewill literally start to come out
.
And I'm recording all this likeI'm watching.
(32:41):
I'm.
I'm usually typing while I'mlike it's you get to come into
my matrix, right, I'm in flow,and then at one point we have
enough to go okay, now we've gotsomething.
We've got three.
We I like to work with threeslike we've got three main areas
that we're going to cover,whether it's a concept, an
exercise, a point, a lesson, amodel, like whatever, everyone's
(33:05):
got a different, differentthing, and then you'll start to
light up, you'll be like oh mygosh, that's exactly what I've
been trying to say this wholetime.
Like, and you're like yeah,that's because what the switch?
Exactly what you said.
So I'm just really there tocatch your brilliance and pull
it out and you have enough, youhave plenty.
So don't be dissuaded by youryears of experience.
(33:27):
And let's say, we created atalk today because that's how
long it takes me.
It's like we do it.
In a couple hours, we literallycome up with your title
description, your learningpoints, your call to action.
So you have it all laid out.
You're like now you can go doyour slides and all that stuff.
But we know you could getbooked with that information and
you would feel confident.
Because you're like oh, that'swhat I've been saying this whole
(33:50):
time.
I've been always talking aboutthis kind of thing.
Everyone needs to know this.
This is so cool.
Then that will help that.
And I'm not.
I'm not Tina, you don't need todo this, but I'm just saying,
like, as an example, that's howpeople feel, because then
they're not worried.
Oh, what do I talk about?
I don't know what I would say.
What would I?
What are they going to ask mewhat I speak about?
Oh, my gosh, what am I going totell them.
(34:10):
So we need to just erase allthat and take action, put a
stake in the ground.
And what's exciting is, a yearfrom now, two years from now,
three years, five, 10 years fromnow, your talks will evolve and
change.
Because you are going to evolveand change and you're like, oh,
I actually want to shift it now, but then you have the cadence.
(34:31):
Then you know, okay, I'm justgoing to swap this learning
point out where I'm going tocreate a whole new one.
But you know you've done it abunch of times, so all this
nervousness kind of just floatsaway.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Right and I love that .
So I mean I'm using myself asan example, but I mean yeah,
clearly, clearly I mean thisisn't just, it's not about me,
right, like.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
I was like yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
So I was like yeah, it doesn't mean you have to, but
exactly, and I don't want topull like clients out, and you
know I don't want to like, Idon't want to feel, make anyone
feel like I'm, you know, but Imean obviously, I mean my
business is fairly new, right,especially with the new coaching
, and so, yeah, like I, I mean Iknow there's learning steps,
but I mean the truth is, whenyou have a passion right, when
(35:12):
you have the passion for whatyou're doing, you can speak
about it.
Right, I catch myself all thetime telling people the things
that I know and I know it.
You know like I catch myselfgoing oh my god, like here I'm
people the things that I knowand I know it.
You know like I catch myselfgoing oh my God, like here I'm
telling the world and I don'teven realize that I'm telling
the world, right, and so that's,I mean that's the confidence in
what you're doing as well,right, yeah, so I have a
(35:35):
question for you.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I wonder if your close friends or your family,
your kids, would be able to saylike they're like oh, mom always
talks about this, she alwaysteaches us that, that, that,
that, that.
That's probably where some realgreat nuggets are.
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
My kids could tell you like they'll roll their eyes
and we'll say oh, she neverends, right?
She never stops.
I'm always trying to coach themthrough life without coaching
them, right, so I'll give themlittle tidbits.
My daughter's really good,she's super open, open-minded,
and so she'll take the tidbits.
My boys, on the other hand, arelike please, I don't believe in
(36:13):
the coaching stuff, right?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Well, you might be surprised how old are your, how
old are your sons?
They're 23 and 18.
Okay, it's so interesting.
So I started doing somepersonal development, more
personal development work, whenmy daughter was around six years
old, and she is so.
I always tell her she has moreEQ than most adults will ever
have.
And I heard her on the phoneone time with her friend and
(36:40):
she's like, okay, so well, whydo you feel that way?
Or like, tell me more aboutthat?
I'm like, oh, my girl, and sheshe'll say she'll go.
Mom, my friends aren't as goodof listeners as you.
Like, you do, do that thingthat you do with I.
Need you to do the thing thatyou do, mom.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Well, you know they okay, so we learn them.
I think we learn from them morethan what they learned from us,
but they are.
They, monkey, see, monkey, doright.
They might not realize whatthey're doing Right, but they,
they follow us because they, wemodel for them.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Right, and so your sons are probably, even though
they might not admit it.
I would imagine that theirrelationships, you know where,
their work relation, all thepersonal development, personal,
professional relationships theyhave will be improved because of
you.
Oh, I agree, I mean, I don't, Idon't see it right?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Like I don't see it, and they would never admit it,
right, because boys, that's okay, especially when it comes to
their mom, right, their dadmaybe right, but not their mom,
and I think that's normal.
And I'm totally not likeoffended by that Because, at the
end of the day, I am their rolemodel, whether they want to
admit it or not, right?
We all learn from our parents.
So, yeah, is there anythingthat you could tell our
(37:59):
listeners that they need to know?
Um, but it's not like you knowwhat, what's how, I don't know
how to say it.
Every speaker needs to knowsomething about what they're
speaking about and how they'respeaking, but not everyone has
to live it in their daily life.
What, what would you say?
That is?
Speaker 3 (38:18):
um, I, I think practicing is really under.
I still practice when I have anew talk.
I mean when I've given a talk50 times, no, I don't practice.
But when I've given it zerotimes, yes, I definitely
practice.
Or maybe if I've only given itonce, like when I, when I shift
talks, like I have a new onethat I'm developing for an
(38:39):
association that isn't my normalaudience, so I will, I know
months in advance, so I'mwriting it now I haven't even
started with slides yet, butthen it'll be slides, then I'll
start tweaking it, then I'll sayit out loud, then I'll say it
out again, then I'll say italoud again and I practice,
practice, practice until I feellike, whew, okay, we're in there
(39:00):
.
Now I already know if I don'tgive that talk a hundred times,
I don't know if it's ever goingto deeply seep into my conscious
, unconscious, confidence.
But I am going to do my best.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Well, I mean at the end, like anybody else right,
and and isn't that all we askfor?
All I ask for is you give meyour best, you know, and
whatever that is that day,that's fine Right, but you know,
give me your best.
Yeah, absolutely, I love that.
Thank you so much for that.
Is there anything else that youwant our listeners to know?
Speaker 3 (39:43):
one secret to a steady stream of speaking
referrals.
And to keep it short and sweet,I would say if that is a desire
that you have as a listener,you're like I would like to be
speaking, but I don't know howto get started.
I don't know where I would go,I don't know how I would get
speaking engagements and I don'twant to cold call or Google
search or chat, gpt search.
Then I would recommend starthanging out with some other
speakers and know that they areon the same journey as you and
(40:05):
they can be your biggest allies.
That's why we have theInternational Speaker Network,
because we literally convergetogether, because everyone is
there to support each other.
Everyone is there to supporteach other, and so my biggest
(40:25):
secret that's helped me fromcold calling is to hang out with
other speakers and acollaborative community.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
I love that.
Thank you so much for that.
Yeah, one more thing I want toask you is perfection.
Do we really expect perfectionfrom the speaker that's in front
of us, or do we want them to bereal like we are?
Speaker 3 (40:46):
Well, I think, definitely now, real is more
attractive.
Gone are the perfected videosof the 80s or whatever.
But that to be said on socialmedia, yes, there are very
professional created videos andthings like that, and it depends
(41:06):
on the venue.
But I definitely think peoplerelate more to being authentic,
being raw, being real, which isnot to be confused with being
unprepared and messy and wingingit, flying by the seat of your
pants.
That's it.
Those are two.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
So you still need to be prepared, you still need to
practice.
But if you mess up, it's notthe end of the world.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
No, and I don't when I say practice like I don't
recommend memorizing it.
Again, it's an embodimentversus memorizing.
And also, if anyone is speakingand they're like, let's say,
you're speaking virtually andyou're reading from your notes,
I can tell.
So the other audience members,maybe they can tell, maybe not,
(41:52):
I don't know.
But there's a different cadenceto our voice when we are
reading versus when we're justlike I'm here with you guys,
here's what we're doing.
It is very obvious when someoneis reading, even if you
couldn't see them reading, right.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
I've noticed that myself too.
I'm not there yet.
I still feel the need to read,but I mean, I get it.
I do get that.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah, I had a client who had the same issue with
perfection and doing it rightand being and it's all has to be
wonderful.
And she had spent a lot ofmoney on a speaking coach
program from many years ago butstill wasn't speaking.
And I'm like what's the deal?
Like what, why, what are wedoing here?
And she confessed to me youknow, I'm just so anxious every
(42:37):
time I have a talk and I'm I'mjust toiling about the words and
making it all perfect and I'vegot to have my notes and all
this stuff.
And when we started workingtogether, she finally was able
to release it.
And once she released thatinner resistance, she started
speaking four times a month,started attracting her clients,
(43:02):
filling her programs throughspeaking.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Finally, I love that, and so I'm going to ask you
what did you do, Like what didyou really do?
Speaker 3 (43:09):
I put a spell on her.
I literally know, I thinkthere's something about when
someone just links arms with youand is like, okay, let me get
to know you, your business, whatis it you want and why are we
(43:32):
not there yet?
Like, what can we do to shiftthis way of being, way of
thinking, similar to you whenyou're coaching people.
Like, okay, I see that you'vehad this issue for a long time.
Okay, I understand, let'sunpack it and let's move through
it safely together and thenthey can release.
It's like, you know, releasingyou into the wild.
(43:54):
Go, do your thing.
But that care and considerationisn't always given in certain
programs.
Maybe there's not individualattention, it's like you can
learn the steps.
But there's something magicalwhen at least I find when people
work with me, they're like oh,like you're really looking at my
(44:16):
stuff.
I'm like, yeah, I'm reallylooking at your stuff, like I'm
really learning about you andwhat you want and why, and then
we're going to be able to makesome help you make decisions
that will serve you for the restof your career, not just for
speaking, but like I want you tobe super clear on your yeses,
your no's, what's in alignmentfor you, what's okay, you don't
(44:39):
have to do it this way you don'thave to do it that way, you
don't should.
You know what I mean, like allthose things, like just be real,
and I think that's soincredibly empowering.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
I do too.
I do too, and thank you forthat, because I think, first of
all, our listeners need to know,right, that that's what you're
looking for, and also yourspeakers, like the speakers that
work with you, the speakersthat you know potentially will
be working with you.
They need to know that it's thereal, the real you that we want
, right, we don't want we're notliving in the 80s anymore and
(45:09):
you know, like myself, we I needto get a grip on that right.
Like we don't want perfection,we want you, we want the real
you in front of us and you know.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
I just got an email yesterday, tina, that someone
asked me and he'd met me, likewe've had a Zoom call.
He said I just want to check,like your program's, not like an
AI bot or something right?
He goes it's you right?
I said absolutely, so, that'shappening, right.
Those are, those are questionsthat are going to start coming
(45:39):
in and there's a lot of us whodon't want that yet Now.
I don't know, in a year or twothat might change, but for now
there's still people who reallywant people.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Yeah, and, and let's hope that that lasts for a while
, because you know we're goingto be really struggling to work
if we are going to be using andrelying on AI, but that's a
whole new conversation.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, thank you so much forjoining me today, lisa.
This has been great.
I hope our listeners who arethinking about speaking or just
(46:11):
getting into the speaking realm,they know they can come to you,
they can and they can realize,like they will realize, that you
know what's expected of them?
Speaker 3 (46:21):
Absolutely.
Should I share a gift or are weputting that If you have a gift
, yes, please share it.
Absolutely.
You can get the five top tipsto get more speaking gigs now,
because, like we didn't go intoall the tips, obviously, and
that's available atGetSpeakingGigsNowcom slash tips
.
So GetSpeakingGigs with an Sbecause you want more than one.
Getspeakinggigsnowcom slashtips so get speaking gigs with
(46:42):
the S because you want more thanone.
Get speaking gigs now.
Dot com slash tips.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Awesome.
Thank you so much.
Confidence in Bloom is acelebration of self love, a
confirmation that, even thoughyou may not look like a screen
star or a supermodel and theydon't even look like that you
are an amazing, desirable,brilliant, gorgeous, talented
woman.
We offer unconditional love toour partners, our children, our
extended family, even our pets.
(47:08):
It's high time we got out ofour own way and learn to
unconditionally love ourselves,and Full Bloom Styling and
Coaching offers an onlineprogram combined with one-on-one
coaching in confidence,building personal branding and
creating your signature fashionlook.
Chic definitely does come inevery shape.
So if you want something tobelieve in, start with yourself.
(47:29):
If you'd like to be a guesthere on Confidence in Bloom,
contact me through Instagram atinfobloomstyling, by email at
tina at infobloomstylingcom orthrough the Divas that Care
website.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Thanks, for listening this show was brought or
through the Divas that Carewebsite.
Thanks for listening.
This show was brought to you byDivas that Care.
Connect with us on Facebook, onInstagram and, of course, on
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you don't miss a thing.
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