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November 4, 2025 19 mins

Is humility making yourself small… or living in the truth? Joe and Father Boniface unpack humility as honesty—seeing ourselves as we are before God—and why that frees us to use our real gifts in service (yes, even taking the seat that has your name on it). We explore self-forgetfulness, how affirmation heals the reflex to self-protect, and practical ways to grow from self-concern into self-gift. Throughout, we keep all three lenses in view: integrity with ourselves, charity toward others, under a living relationship with God.

Key Ideas

  • Humility is truth: neither self-inflation nor false modesty, but an honest acceptance of who we are before God—and using our gifts accordingly.
  • Concrete example: sometimes the humble act is to take the role or “reserved spot” that’s yours, because it serves the community best.
  • Know your tilt: some of us oversell; others undersell—humility learns our tendency and seeks honest mirrors (trusted people who can praise and correct).
  • Self-forgetfulness grows from being loved and affirmed; emotional safety reduces self-protective focus and opens us to others.
  • A simple path: notice insecurity triggers, share them with someone who loves you, receive affirmation there—and then go build that same affirmation in others this week.

Links & References

  • Conrad Baars, affirmation and emotional development — Conrad Baars Institute (official): https://www.conradbaars.com

  • Pope Francis, Gaudete et Exsultate (On the Call to Holiness in Today’s World) — official Vatican text: https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20180319_gaudete-et-exsultate.html

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Questions or thoughts? Email FatherAndJoe@gmail.com

Tags
Father and Joe, Joe Rockey, Father Boniface Hicks, humility, honesty, meekness, truth, sainthood, virtue, self-forgetfulness, affirmation, Conrad Baars, emotional safety, trauma and healing, self-knowledge, self-possession, self-gift, narcissism, ego, vanity, false modesty, discernment, service, vocation, speaking gifts, leadership, community, parenting, children, interior freedom, relationships, relationship with God, relationship with self, relationship with others, Benedictine spirituality, Catholic podcast, practical spirituality, growth, healing, gratitude

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