October 31, 2024 • 48 mins
In this powerful episode, host Makini Smith sits down with Brian Proctor, son of the legendary personal development leader Bob Proctor. Brian shares an intimate look into his journey of personal growth, healing, and resilience, especially in navigating the grief of his father’s passing. They discuss the importance of community support in the healing process, the concept of "post-traumatic wisdom," and how social connection and resilience build hope. Brian also reflects on lessons from his father, emphasizing the value of living with purpose and creating a legacy that empowers others.
Brian Proctor, author of My Father Knew the Secret – Growing Up with Bob Proctor and the newly released 12 Easy Steps to Change Your Life: Stop Waiting For That Big Thing!, was born in 1961 in Toronto, Ontario. That same year, his legendary father, Bob Proctor, began his 60-year journey in personal development after being introduced to Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich.
For nearly 30 years, Brian worked alongside his father, contributing to the success of Bob Proctor’s teachings on some of the world’s largest stages. He found his niche in marketing and business development, playing a pivotal role in shaping the company’s early digital strategy. Long before email list building became an industry standard, Brian initiated the idea of building an email platform to amplify his father’s teachings, setting the stage for the company’s long-term success.
As an online marketer, Brian became a top affiliate in major product launches, generating millions in commissions and helping many entrepreneurs gain exposure to large audiences. He attributes his success to the invaluable lessons he learned from his father, particularly in cultivating meaningful, lasting relationships.
Now self-employed, Brian lives with his wife Cory at the southern end of Puget Sound in Washington State, where he enjoys a life of fulfillment, surrounded by nature and the serenity of the water.
Key takeaways:
-
Healing Through Shared Experience: Brian and Makini emphasize the power of social connection and community in overcoming adversity and finding resilience.
-
The Power of Post-Traumatic Wisdom: Moving through hardships can lead to deeper wisdom, where overcoming personal challenges enables growth and gives hope to others.
-
Legacy and Purpose: Brian discusses the influence of his father’s legacy, highlighting the importance of living purposefully and leaving behind values that uplift others.
-
Self-Reflection and Inner Strength: Through his journey, Brian explores the role of self-reflection in healing, encouraging listeners to connect deeply with their own beliefs and inner strength.
Stay connected with Brian Proctor online:
Stay connected with us online:
Send feedback/questions to info@awalkinmystilettos.com
Submit guest suggestions HERE
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Makini Smith. After going through a divorce, my sister passing
away, experiencing narcissistic abuse, and some
significant health scares, I realized through sharing my
story that I wasn't alone in my suffering. Suffering, subjective
distress generated by the experience of being out of
balance. In a deep dive to holistically heal mind,
(00:21):
body, and soul is where I discovered peace, clarity,
and connection. It is impossible to be truly wise
without some real life hardship, and we cannot develop
post-traumatic wisdom without making it through, and most
importantly, through it together. Social
connection builds resilience, and resilience helps create
(00:44):
post-traumatic wisdom, and that wisdom leads to hope. hope
for you and others witnessing and participating in
your healing, and hope for your community. A
healthy community is a healing community, and a healing community is
full of hope because it has seen its own people weather,
survive, and thrive. Brian
(01:22):
Proctor, author of My Father Knew the Secret, Growing Up
with Bob Proctor, and newly released 12 Easy Steps
to Change Your Life, Stop Waiting for That Big Thing,
was born in 1961 in Toronto, Ontario. That
same year, his legendary father, Bob Proctor, began his
60-year journey in personal development after being introduced
(01:46):
to Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. Nearly 30 years,
Brian worked alongside his father, contributing to the success of
Bob Proctor's teaching on some of the world's largest stages. He
found his niche in marketing and business development, playing a
pivotal role in shaping the company's early digital strategy. Long
before email lists building became an industry standard, Brian
(02:10):
initiated the idea of building an email platform to amplify his
father's teachings, setting the stage for the company's long-term success.
As an online marketer, Brian became a top
affiliate in major product launches, generating millions in
commissions and helping many entrepreneurs gain exposure to large
audiences. He attributes his success to the
(02:32):
invaluable lessons he learned from his father, particularly in
cultivating meaningful, lasting relationships. Now
self-employed, Brian lives with his wife, Cori, in the U.S.
where he enjoys a life of fulfillment surrounded by
nature and the serenity of water. So please welcome
(02:57):
Thank you so much, Brian, for agreeing to come on and
share space and co-create this experience for the listeners today.
I am always grateful when
someone comes on and is open to not only sharing their journey and
their expertise, but their time with
(03:21):
So I usually like to start as an icebreaker question to get
to know a little bit more about your
childhood before we get to know who you are today and how you
became who you are today. We
know that as kids we have these vivid imaginations of
who and what we want to be when we grow up, and society, culture,
(03:43):
what have you, unintentionally, I guess, limits
us by telling us to be realistic. Before all
of that happened, I would love to know Who
or what did you want to be as a young boy? And
what's your earliest childhood memory that defines
(04:03):
Well, that's an interesting question I have never been asked before. You
know, when I was a child, I don't know as I really knew what I wanted to
be. I was, you
know, as you know, Bob Proctor was my father. And so he brought me
up in a way, or both my parents really, they
brought me up in a way that Really let me
(04:24):
know that I could be anything I could do whatever I wanted so
I was never pigeonholed into I want to do this all my
life kind of a thing so I have no recollection. You
know wanting to be like a fireman or a police officer or
you know any of the typical things that you would hear from from a
young person i just. I
(04:47):
was brought up that I could be anything. And that's kind of what I remember,
even as a young boy, which is probably pretty good
Absolutely. I can only imagine,
I guess, the levels
of blessings. You know, growing up with Bob Proctor
(05:07):
as your father, I had the blessing
of connecting and meeting Bob, I think, I'm
trying to remember. how old I was. But
at the time, it was actually it was probably around 2013. So
in 2009, I was going through a divorce and a friend forced me to watch the
(05:28):
documentary The Secret. And I wasn't
ready for it at the time. Long story short, you know,
my sister passed away in 2012. I was going through some stuff emotionally.
And in 2013, I was invited to meet Bob and My
life has not been the same since. Totally
(05:51):
blew the top of my mind off.
And I have been obsessed with personal development ever since. So
I can only imagine what it has been
Well, you know, it's funny. I think about it and You
know, my father was introduced to the book Think and Grow Rich in
(06:13):
October of 1961. And that was the big
shift moment for him. I was born in December of
1961. So it's pretty incredible. So I
believe he was working on changing his paradigms, changing his
mindset. He was altering who he was back then.
And at the same time, he was programming me
(06:35):
with all this material, because that's when he started getting into it. And
I often laugh, and I think I might have been like an experiment. He
was always testing these things on me. And it
So I tell people, I feel like our kids, they
get different versions of us, depending on where we are
(06:58):
in life, as we develop. So each one of
my children have received a
different version of me as I've evolved as a person. I know that
my eldest, who is turning 28, the version
of me that she had of me as the teenage mom
versus my son who is turning 19, the
(07:21):
version of me that he got that was obsessed
with personal development and understanding, you know, how the
mind works and how to interact with people and, you know, the
focus on, you know, self-mastery and all those things. So complete
different people that they got as parents. Right. Yep. So,
okay. So I would love if you could share a little bit, um,
(07:44):
with the listeners about your journey, I guess, give
Yeah, well, I guess late teens
is really when you start working and figuring out what you're doing. When
I was in my late teens, I actually worked with my father. So
I was like a roadie on the seminar circuit. This was
(08:06):
long before the internet and everything else that we have today. So
it was going out, putting on big
events, He had a chalkboard, I
would slug the chalkboard, set it up on stage and that was his prop, that's
how he delivered the material. And
so I was kind of the roadie, I was a bit of a salesperson, all
(08:28):
that from late teens into early twenties. And I
thought, man, I got to get out and do my own thing for a while. I
was always Bob Proctor's son, which
wasn't a bad thing. But I had to forge my own way. I had to find
my own thing. So in my mid-20s, I
thought, I was living in Toronto. I was going
to become a real estate agent. Real estate always interested me.
(08:52):
So I went and took the courses, and I became a real estate agent. And
probably the best move I ever made, McKinney. I
was able to use the material that my father taught and
apply it to real estate and when i started in
real estate i remember dad saying to me he said brian you
(09:13):
want to act as if you were the best real estate agent in the entire
city. And treat your clients like that, and they won't know
any different. And I thought, what a great piece of advice. So
that's what I did. I acted like I was the best agent. I
provided the service like I was the best agent. And my
very first clients would have never known that they were my first clients. And
(09:34):
my first month in the business, I think I was probably,
I'm not sure if I was the top agent, but I was certainly right at
the top in my office. And I continued to
do so because I was able to use that material. But
I think what I learned the most was that I could do it on my
own. I could take what I learned and apply it
(09:57):
somewhere else, and I was very successful. That
was a lot of fun. So I was, I was in real estate for, I guess, close to
12 years. And oftentimes
throughout that period of time, you know, my father kept saying, Brian, why don't
you come back to the company? You know, he saw what I was doing. He thought,
you know, I could probably add to that. And I was like, no,
(10:19):
no, I'm good, dad, I'm good. And I was doing my thing. I
hit a point where it was like, it'd be kind of fun to work with him again.
I was obviously a little more mature then. I kind
of had my footing. I was comfortable with who I was. And
so I finally said yes. And I went back and
worked with him. And I worked with him right
(10:41):
up until he passed away, which was in 2022. And it was close to
30 years. I
was really in the background. I did all the marketing and email
list building. I kind of founded that whole piece of it. And
it was a great journey. I had a lot of fun. It
(11:02):
was wonderful working alongside my father. I mean, we were business
partners, but we're father and son, obviously, but we're also
great friends. And it was a joy. So
that's really where it all came about. After
he passed away, I started writing. I
(11:22):
decided I wanted to find my own way of sharing
really who Bob Proctor was, what our relationship was like, that
I've got a very unique perspective of who he was and
how he acted in the world. And so that's when I started writing. And
I've written a couple of books. I'm now starting to
speak. I would have never thought I'd be on stage speaking or doing
(11:45):
podcasts like this with you, Makini. But,
you know, it's, you know, after he was gone,
it was like, it's time for me to step out there and show
the world what he taught me. Because I know
that what I know because of that relationship can
help others. And that's what's landed me
(12:07):
where I'm at today. There's the short synopsis for you.
I mean, your story is obviously a beautiful story.
And like I said, I'm listening to
you tell your story. My face is sore from grinning
from ear to ear. I
think it's beautiful that you
(12:29):
and your father had a close relationship. I think it's beautiful that you
were even out, you know, building your own career in
real estate and decide to go back and work with your dad. You know, as
we mature, I think we learn to appreciate our parents more
than we do in our younger years. And
even the evolution of you now being an author, being
(12:49):
a speaker, coaching, doing all the things that you're doing where
it's like, you're, you're building obviously your own
legacy and I have so many questions
right now. I'm like, which one do I even ask first? Last
year, I had Robin Sharma's son, Colby, on
the podcast. I know for some
(13:11):
kids, and I know my own kids have even said this to me, they
admire what you're doing and who you are, but
obviously everyone has their own path. Sometimes
people who know the parents or even people
who know of the parents will expect the
children to, you know, walk in their shoes or follow up
(13:33):
in their shoes when they have their own shoes to fill, right? So
I would love if you could speak to the listeners about the
experience of what it's been like, you know, building
your own legacy now that you have these two books out
here and you're speaking and writing and
(13:54):
Yeah, it's actually been an interesting journey. I've
never looked at it like I'm filling my father's shoes, because
I never could. And I acknowledge that.
I think you see people trying to fill their parents' shoes or
whoever they're following. you're never going
to be that person. And if I was trying to be my father, I
(14:18):
would be very inauthentic. Um, it wouldn't be me. So
I, I, I look at it like I'll, I'll never fill his
shoes. Um, I'm going to be that independent me
and do what I can do to share my message my way.
And I own that. And I think that's a strength I got from
my father. Um, which is ironic, but in
(14:41):
a really good way, he never, shaped or forced the
way I had to do things. He always let
me be my own guy and do things my own way. I think
back to when I first started to work with him. I
was on sales calls. I was going out and speaking to
groups, trying to sell them into seminars. And the
(15:04):
internet was just kind of getting started. And
I remember having a conversation with him. I said to him, you know,
this is probably within a year to two years of me being back working
with him. I said to him, I don't, I'm not enjoying this. This
is not what I want to do. And. His
reaction was perfect. He just looked at me and he says, that's fine. Then
(15:26):
don't do it. He says, find another way to contribute that
will bring value. And that was it. And I thought, wow,
that was, I mean, that's really a great response. And so
it let me find my own way to make things work. And
back then. There was no quote of
the day service there was no big email list building stuff going
(15:47):
on like there is today so that's what i started. I
had no idea what i was doing but
i found my way because i knew in real estate what made
me successful was staying in touch with my clients. And
I thought, boy, the seminar business, we need to do the same thing. We need to stay
in touch with the clients. And so
(16:08):
I ended up figuring out, I won't go into long details, but
I figured out how to build an email list, how to stay in
touch in an ethical and valuable way. And
that was really the foundation that allowed things to
explode for my father. In the movie, The Secret came
out. He was prepared because
(16:30):
we had set up all the back and we could capture. Email
addresses everything like that a lot of the people in that movie at
that time didn't have that in place because it wasn't a thing
that today it's commonplace of course but
back then it wasn't so he really allowed me
to shine where where i could and. I
(16:55):
I love that answer. I love that
answer in so many different ways, because I feel like
there's a lot of parents today, especially if we're first
or second generation Canadians or Americans, you
know, dealing with parents that have an expectation of what
we should do with our careers or with our life, right? And
(17:18):
we know, like in the coaching business, there are so many people right now that are
unhappy because they went into careers because that's what they thought they were
supposed to do or what their parents wanted them to do instead of what
they actually loved and enjoyed doing or what
they were great at and where they felt they brought the most value. And
I'm the type of parent that I do that with my children, where I allow them the
(17:38):
freedom to figure it out and do what's best for
them. It may not necessarily be what I would
want, but it's their life, right? And sometimes other
parents are like, why are you allowing your child to do this or
do that? And I'm like, because that's what they're good at and that's what they enjoy. So I'm going to support that.
But I think, again, so many questions. It's
(18:01):
like every time you say something, I have all these things that I want to unpack. Funny
enough, I was actually in real estate, selling real estate, when
I met your father. And
it was your sister, Colleen, that got me into public speaking because
I was terrified to speak in front of an audience. You
(18:21):
know, if someone asked me to stand up and
speak about myself in a room with even 30 people. Anxiety would
kick in, my hands would start sweating, my heart was
racing, and it was your
family's advice that helped me to, I
guess, tap into more of who I am and be able to
(18:43):
write more books and speak and coach and do all these things. And,
you know, you have that blood flowing in your veins where it's just like the
supportive family. Like, I have never met
an entire family of so many good,
loving people. You know, some people have,
(19:03):
yeah, families, and there's always those, you know, couple people in there that are
just not. But all of you, every
single one of you that I have had the pleasure of connecting with,
the amount of love and generosity and support that
you all show and share, like, is
(19:23):
so beautiful. I'm trying not to get emotional because I'm an emotional person, but
I think the world just needs more people like yourselves. So
I want to talk about your first book, which I have here. So
in your book, My Father Knew the Secret, Growing Up with Bob Proctor, you
know, you share, obviously, like you said before, your unique perspective of
(19:47):
growing up alongside such a powerful figure in personal development.
What do you feel is the most impactful lesson that
You know, the one thing I guess would probably vary from day to
(20:10):
day, depending on where I'm feeling. But if
I was to pick the one most valuable lesson, god,
there's so many. But I will touch on more than one, because
I just have to. But the first one would be
to make sure that you're chasing something big. You're
going after a big and worthy goal, something
(20:31):
that you're not even quite sure how you're going to achieve. That's how
big it's got to be. but that it excites you, it
excites you. And if you're chasing something that's
worthy, that excites you, it will cause you to
do things in a day that you wouldn't normally do. That's
value right there, that's growth. So if there's one
(20:52):
thing I learned from dad, that would be the big one. I can
often, I remember as a kid, if I would hit my goal,
I would achieve whatever it was I
was going after, He would, his
first question would be what's next, what are you
going after now? It was never a big congratulations. And
(21:14):
when I was younger, that used to bug me. And I realized that was
my ego. I wanted to be congratulated for doing this. And
for him, it was the journey. It's what you learn along the way. That's
the goal. When we achieve a goal, that's a
win for sure. It's usually anticlimactic, because
by the time we get there, we're ready for it. It's what we
(21:37):
learn along the way. And that's
probably the biggest thing I learned from him. If
I'm to pick the next biggest thing, if I can share this, McKinney, and
this is probably the most valuable lesson
that I have received. And it's
funny, he drilled this into me. You've
(22:01):
got the book, so you would have read it. It was that first chapter. That was
a tough chapter to write. That's the
first thing I wrote after he passed. I had started writing the book before he
passed away. And we had some fun around it. He knew I was writing the
book. I didn't know what I was going to call it at the time, but he knew that I
was writing it. Well, that first chapter I wrote after he passed.
(22:24):
I was fortunate. I got to spend a lot of time with him in the hospital before
he passed away. We
got to share everything with each other. There was nothing left unsaid. I
know how lucky I was that way. But
one of the things that he said to me, McKinney, he says, Brian, keep talking
to me. Keep talking to me every day. Even when
(22:47):
I'm gone, keep talking to me. And just listen to that inner
voice. Call it intuition, call it whatever you want, and
follow that. And it's
such an interesting thing. After he passed, I think because
of our conversations, I've done that. And I have really
listened to my intuition, and I have followed it to
(23:10):
a T. And I will tell
you that my life in the last couple of years has grown. I've
done so much. And it, quite frankly,
has been perfect. It's been uncomfortable. I've
done things that made me, I was very scared. But
my intuition was telling me to do it, so I did it. I just listened
(23:31):
to it. I didn't let the paradigms and
those voices on your shoulder telling you, who are you to think
you can do that? You can't do that because if
my intuition told me to do it, I did it. And it
has led me perfectly. That's
probably one of the most valuable lessons I've gotten from him. Intuition
(23:55):
is something that we get right away, and then our
paradigms can push it away. How
many times have we done something when we knew we shouldn't have, that was
intuition talking, but we did it anyway, and it comes back to bite us.
How many times our intuition says, oh, you should do this, but you don't because you think, oh
man, I could never do that. And you think, oh, a year later, I
(24:16):
wished I had done that. I am now at the point
where I just listen to my intuition. If it tells me to say yes, I
say yes. If it says to say no, and I'm not even sure why, I
politely say no. And it has
Mm-hmm. I call my intuition God whispers. I
feel like, you know, my intuition, like you said, even if
(24:38):
you're not sure why, I'm like, nope, God just whispered something to me. Nope.
You know something? I love that because I heard something
around that. I'm not sure who said it, but it said when we pray, we're
I don't know where I heard that, but it's... You know what's funny? As
(25:02):
you say that, I'm like, I know I heard that somewhere, too. And I
also, that's like a model that I live by. But I
feel like the book that Susanna and I wrote, that you wrote the foreword for, I
feel like it's in there as well. So maybe, maybe.
I'm not sure where I heard it either, but the exact words
that you just said, I'm like, I say that all the time. And I think I wrote, we wrote that
(25:22):
in the book. You know, there's
so many, there's so many beautiful things that
I want, I guess, us to unpack from what you just said, because I
know a lot of people don't like to necessarily talk about, you know,
when someone passes or losing a loved one. And
(25:44):
I haven't lost a parent, so I would not know
what that feels like. But I've lost
my sister and my grandmother that helped raise me, and I know grief
is like an expression of love. And everything
that you just said, like the advice that your dad said to you about, you know, keep talking to
him. I did that when my sister passed away, and my life has
(26:08):
not been the same, and the amount of blessings and
opportunities for me to grow that came from that. And it was like
every time, you know, a new accomplishment or blessing or, you
know, some form of success came, and I was like, thank you, Andrea.
Like I was just, you know, talking to her and inspired, trying
to I guess, live life with more purpose and
(26:29):
continue the legacy that, you know, she was leaving impacting other
people's lives. You know, when you talked, like,
there are so many things that you said that I can completely relate to that. It's
like, obviously, we love our loved ones and would
love to have them here with us. But it's also how
we've been able to find the lessons through our grief to,
(26:51):
I guess, evolve as people and to serve on a greater scale and
to make a greater impact. It's like, you know, we've transmuted
that pain into purpose. And it's it's
not easy, like you said, you know, there's lots of
discomfort, but the beauty in it, you know, I feel
like it should be spoken about more because I feel
(27:12):
like there are people who lose loved ones and they kind of get
stuck in the depression. They get stuck in, you know, missing that
person. But how can you honor that person? How
can you continue that connection with that loved one? So
Well, you know, we had a great conversation around it, literally
(27:34):
days before he passed away. And he said to
me, he said, Brian, don't be sad that I'm gone. Be happy for
the relationship that we've got. And I'm not
going to say I didn't grieve. My God, I grieved. Dad and
I were very close, and I still grieve. But
I look at it from this point of view, and I think this is a healthy way to look
(27:57):
at it. Our relationship has just changed. He's
not here any longer, but I can still talk to him. I
talk to him, and I know what his answers would be. I know what
he would say to me. So although I don't have him in
the physical world, which I do miss, I
miss, we had daily conversations. I mean, I miss that
(28:18):
dearly. But I still speak to him, and
I can still hear him. And I enjoy
that part of our relationship now, because that's what I've got. And he
was always, always look for the positive. Always look for
the positive in what you've got. Don't look back and regret, because
then you're living in the past. And if you ruminate that too
(28:41):
long, you just drag yourself there. He was always about
being the present moment, be the best version of you that you can be every day.
And that's when he said, still talk to me. And so I
look at it like I still have a relationship with him. He's
gone, but he's still here. And I
(29:01):
Yes, absolutely. I would love to know, because, okay,
so in your book, I know that you said you started writing
the book while he was still here. And you speak a lot about
your father, obviously, because it's about growing up with Bob Proctor. But
I would love to know how that helped with your healing process. Because
I know when I was writing my first book, and I had a whole chapter dedicated to
(29:22):
the passing of my sister, and every time I sat down to write that
chapter, I was in tears. I would bawl my eyes out, and I would have to
skip to writing another chapter. But when I finally sat down and
wrote that chapter, and then after the fact, speaking
on platforms about it, it helped with my healing process. So I
would love to know how writing this helped you with your healing
(29:44):
I would say I'm identical to your situation. So
I had quite a bit, maybe half
of the book or a third of the book written before he passed away. So
there's still a lot that needed to be done. It
probably took me three months before I even started to write again
after he passed. And when I did, I wrote that first chapter,
(30:06):
which was all about the end of his life. And that was
a tough one. And I had many tears, the same as
you. And I kind
of thought, once it was done, I guess it was
kind of cathartic. It felt good because I was able
to share what he was about with the world. And
(30:26):
that was important to me. And I thought, once
the book was out there, that was it. I was done. Boy,
little did I know. That's when everything started. People
were reaching out to me. They wanted me on podcasts. They wanted to interview me.
They wanted me up on stage talking about it. And my
intuition told me that that's what you need to do so i started to do
(30:49):
it. Who's incredibly uncomfortable in
the beginning but it felt like it was the right thing to do
and. It helped me a lot. It
really helped me a lot because I got to keep
speaking positively about my father and sharing his message.
And that helped me through my grief. So much like
(31:11):
your situation with your sister is the same kind of thing. It
really helped me through it. And it really got me to focus on
all the great qualities that he had. And it
It helps. Absolutely. Absolutely. I
would love to know, okay, so in your new book, 12 Easy
Steps to Change Your Life, Stop Waiting for That Big Thing, you
(31:35):
provide actionable advice for personal development. So
what inspired you to write this book, and what do you hope
that the readers will implement into their lives from this book?
Yeah, so in the new book, I'll
tell you why I was inspired to write it, because I had such a great response
(31:55):
from my father into the secret. I had so many people reaching out,
what's next? What else can you share? They're
like, I know you've got more in you and all of that. Um,
I, I actually had a publisher reach out to me and, um,
um, I signed a three book deal over three years. So there's another couple
of books. Um, and it was a,
(32:18):
it was a fun journey. So this book, um, I
thought, you know what, I'm going to share. the 12 things
that I've used that have helped me live a great life. I
feel I live a really great life. I'm in a
good space, I have a great business, I love where I live, everything
about my life I feel really good about. And I thought, I'm gonna
(32:39):
share everything that I've used to get here. Because
I know that if it helped me, it will help you. And
that's it. So in the 12 easy steps
to change your life is just that. 12 easy
steps to change your life. Nothing's complicated. I
won't complicate anything. I think when people complicate stuff, they're trying
(33:01):
to make themselves sound, I think, smarter or something. I don't know. So
I've kept it really simple, really valuable, and
I've really given the steps that can help you completely
alter your life. So if somebody's struggling
right now, they can get out of struggle. Here's
the better part though, if somebody's already doing well,
(33:24):
this book can help you do even better. So it really covers everything,
because it's everything I've used all of my life. Now,
if I was, Let's say one little nugget
around that book. It's simply
this. So often, we're always waiting for
that big thing to happen, that big event to change our
(33:47):
life, that everything's going to be better when we get here. This
is something that I've shared with everybody. Stop waiting
for that big thing, because that big thing may or may not
ever happen. But I'll tell you how it will happen is by taking
care of the little things. McKinney, if we
did one little thing every day, even if it's insignificant,
(34:09):
if we did one little thing every day that would get us one step closer
to our goal, do you know in a year that's 365 little
things. Believe you me, that's going to add up to
A compound effect. Yes, yes. I
love it. Listen, I agree with all
of the lessons. How has the
(34:33):
lessons in, I'm going to say, I guess your most recent
book, have they also helped in
I don't know if they've helped in the healing and grief process as
much, other than I feel like I'm carrying
on my father's legacy in a way that I'm doing things that
(34:56):
he did. but I'm doing them in my own way.
And that's probably a good thing. And that helps. So
for me, I'm forever hearing my father whisper in
my ear. And things I write, I
write based on experiences that I learned from him, really.
(35:16):
So that helps. That's really, I
Yeah, as you said that, I was just thinking of something that
Susannah always says for the listeners who are
listening. Susannah's my business
partner. We co-wrote our last book together. Brian
(35:36):
wrote the foreword. Susannah's also one of Bob's proteges.
But she always says, what would Bob do? Whenever
we're having a challenge in the business or we're trying to think of what to do next, she's like,
what would Bob do? Okay,
well, I guess what advice would you give to the listeners who
(35:59):
are grieving the loss of a loved one, especially people
who may feel overwhelmed about, you know, the void that's
Yes. That void's not going to go away. The
void is going to be there. I think we have to acknowledge that. you
know yes there's a hole left once they're gone um and
(36:20):
that hole's never going to get filled in um it
it will the the pain will get less and less as time goes on
for sure but you know like dad said to
me he says don't be sad that i'm gone be
grateful that we were that i was here and that we had this relationship and
so for me i look back on all the positive things
(36:43):
i had with that i look back on our conversations i look back
on our hugs I look on the
time he kissed me. I just look for all
the loving moments, and that's what I think about. And I
don't think about it in sadness. I think
that's the key. I think we have to, with awareness, we can
switch the way we look at things. And I
(37:07):
look at it with love. I just think, man, how
lucky I was to have that relationship. I
don't think about how sad I am that he's gone. So
it's really a mindset. And we have the
capacity to change the way we look at things. And
that's all we need to do. So if you're experiencing deep grief, just
(37:29):
start looking for the positive in it. I'm not gonna
say that there isn't bad in being gone, but
boy, there is a lot of positive. You can start focusing
on more of the positive aspects of what your relationship was
What do you feel is a misconception that most people have
(37:54):
Who? Misconception about me? They probably think
I've always had it great because Bob Proctor was my father. That's
probably the big mistake. And I haven't. I've
had some down times. I've had some big struggles. Dad
never bailed me out. It was always, you
know, you got to learn your own way. And I
(38:17):
don't know if everybody knows that. I
can relate to anybody because I've probably been there. I've had
relationships gone bad. I've gone through divorce. I
have had financial struggles. Now, I have used
everything I've learned to get to now where I am
that I have no financial struggles and I have a wonderful
(38:39):
marriage. I have great kids. I have all
the good things. I've struggled. I've
struggled. So if you're struggling, believe you me, I know where
I'm happy that
you shared that because I do feel like people have this misconception that
(38:59):
they know someone's life based on what they see online. I
know that I get that, so I can only imagine how much you
get. I remember hearing Bob say one time
he was speaking on stage and he was talking about his sea goals
and building schools and stuff in Africa. He was like,
when he passes, I guess what he
(39:21):
plans on doing with his money. He's like, I hope
Well, I can assure you, I know he said
that many, many times, and yes,
Okay, so I would love if you could
(39:42):
let the listeners know where they can stay connected with
you, where they can buy your books, where they can learn more from you and about
Oh, thanks, McKinney. Really easy. You just go to bryanproctor.com. Brian's
spelled with an I, so bryanproctor.com, and you'll
be able to get the books there, get in contact with me
(40:04):
Perfect, perfect, perfect. So
I guess we'll go into the rapid fire and
you can answer these in one word,
one sentence, but I also don't like to put people into a
box. So if you feel the need to expand, you're more than welcome to do so.
Okay, so typically I like to ask guests
(40:28):
to name a book that has changed or greatly impacted their life.
And since we've been speaking so much about your father and we all know
that Thinking Grow Rich was a book that impacted his
life, I would love to know if there's one book in particular that
you read consistently that has changed or
(40:49):
I will tell you right now, I am reading a book that
is really interesting. So this is not the quickest answer,
but I'm gonna give it to you quickly. And this is my new go-to.
It's called The Creative Act, A Way of Being by
Rick Rubin. It is spectacular. It's
I'm gonna add it to my reading list. Thank you.
(41:12):
Yeah, if you've ever seen Rick Rubin, Again,
I'm taking away from your rapid fire, but Rick Rubin is just the wildest looking
guy. He's a music producer and he's probably worth hundreds of
millions of dollars. You'd never know it looking at him. He
is one of the most interesting people I have ever listened
(41:33):
Wow, okay, I am definitely adding that to my reading list. I try to make
sure I read at least two books a month, so I'm adding
that to my list right now, and I'm gonna make that my next read, thank you. Very
good. Okay, what
new belief, behavior, or habit has improved your life in
Intuition, what we talked about earlier, intuition. It has
(41:57):
Love it, okay. What's a part of your journey that most people
that I get uncomfortable. I step across that terror barrier all
the time. I do things that scare me. And
people, they might not know it, but I do things that scare
me. You know, when we step out of our comfort zone, that's when we really
learn. That's when we can be more. So that's something
(42:26):
Love it. What do you wish people were more
I wish people, you know, I'm living in
the United States right now, and we are in a crazy climate.
I wish people were more aware of kindness. Just
be kind to each other. We all have differences.
(42:47):
We don't need to throw that in each other's faces. We
don't need to create hate around different things. I
think, my God, if we could just find a way to connect with everybody and
Okay, when and where are you the happiest? You
(43:09):
know what? When and where? I am the happiest when
I'm out on the water. I love being on the water. I
live on the ocean, and so if I get out on my boat
or out on the kayak, sometimes just sitting on the balcony in
the morning having a coffee, just overlooking the water. I love the water. It
Love it. Okay, what advice would you
(43:32):
My future self? I would say what we
talked about earlier. Just do the little things and do them every
day. Step out and do something that
is going to take you one step closer to your dream. Boy,
we'd accomplish so much more if we just did that every day rather than let the
days run us. If we take control and
(43:55):
Okay, what's your most repeated thought in a
Huh, you're asking a good question. My most
repeated thought would
probably just be, do it, do it, do it.
You know, just take action, take action. I'm forever
(44:20):
I love it. I honestly think that that is a great
way to end the show because I feel like, you know, inspiration is
beautiful, motivation is beautiful, but action is where the results come
from. And if that's the thought
that you're having every single day repeatedly, no wonder
Yeah, you know, I'll share one little thing here
(44:43):
with you. This is something that I have witnessed all of
my life. I've been around the seminar business and self-development industry
my whole life, and I see a lot of people that come to programs And
I think they just come for the entertainment factor. They never
step out and actually do anything with it. It's the action
takers in the world. They're the ones that make it happen. They're the ones
(45:05):
that get to achieve all these big dreams. Yes,
you need to visualize it, you need to think it, but then you need to
step out and start doing something. Don't plan and
plan and plan until it never gets done. Step out and take
That is the greatest advice ever. I've
(45:27):
been an entrepreneur for just over 15 years. I've been in
the personal development space as an entrepreneur for
about 10 years. Just like you said, there are people
that come to seminars. I call them motivational junkies. They
come to get high off of the motivation at the seminar. They
get high off the information. It's the happy
(45:49):
hormones or what have you that they come for
that energy to be in that vibration, but they don't actually
take action and do anything with the information. So
I love that you ended on that advice. And
thank you so much, Brian. Thank you for sharing your
story, not only with us, but with the world. Thank you for
(46:10):
the work that you do. Thank you for your time, your
energy. I truly, truly appreciate you and you embody what
you believe, like your kindness shines through. So
Thank you, Makini. You know what? I really appreciate you having me on. And
(46:30):
I appreciate the promotion. I want to get this books into
as many hands as possible because I know they will make a difference. So I
Me too. Thank you so much. And I look forward to having
many more in the future. And I wish you all the success in
the world. All right. Thank you. To
(46:51):
all you healers out there, until next time, subscribe on all platforms and
don't forget to rate the show and leave us a review on Apple Podcast. We
would love to hear your aha moments, the gems that you took away
from hearing Brian's story. Feel free to share
it with us in your review. I
just want to thank each and every one of you that continues to listen each week to
(47:12):
help the show rank globally in the top 1.5% of
most popular podcasts out there. If
you could think of five friends that would receive value
from hearing today's show, please share it with them. Feel free to
screenshot this week's episode and you can tag
myself at TheRealMcKinneySmith or you can tag Brian at
(47:34):
BrianProctorOfficial. A healthy community
is a healing community and a healing community is full of hope because
it has seen its own people weather, survive, and
I'm Makini Smith. After going through a divorce, my sister passing
away, experiencing narcissistic abuse, and some
significant health scares, I realized through sharing my
story that I wasn't alone in my suffering. Suffering, subjective
distress generated by the experience of being out of
balance. In a deep dive to holistically heal mind,
(00:21):
body, and soul is where I discovered peace, clarity,
and connection. It is impossible to be truly wise
without some real life hardship, and we cannot develop
post-traumatic wisdom without making it through, and most
importantly, through it together. Social
connection builds resilience, and resilience helps create
(00:44):
post-traumatic wisdom, and that wisdom leads to hope. hope
for you and others witnessing and participating in
your healing, and hope for your community. A
healthy community is a healing community, and a healing community is
full of hope because it has seen its own people weather,
survive, and thrive. Brian
(01:22):
Proctor, author of My Father Knew the Secret, Growing Up
with Bob Proctor, and newly released 12 Easy Steps
to Change Your Life, Stop Waiting for That Big Thing,
was born in 1961 in Toronto, Ontario. That
same year, his legendary father, Bob Proctor, began his
60-year journey in personal development after being introduced
(01:46):
to Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. Nearly 30 years,
Brian worked alongside his father, contributing to the success of
Bob Proctor's teaching on some of the world's largest stages. He
found his niche in marketing and business development, playing a
pivotal role in shaping the company's early digital strategy. Long
before email lists building became an industry standard, Brian
(02:10):
initiated the idea of building an email platform to amplify his
father's teachings, setting the stage for the company's long-term success.
As an online marketer, Brian became a top
affiliate in major product launches, generating millions in
commissions and helping many entrepreneurs gain exposure to large
audiences. He attributes his success to the
(02:32):
invaluable lessons he learned from his father, particularly in
cultivating meaningful, lasting relationships. Now
self-employed, Brian lives with his wife, Cori, in the U.S.
where he enjoys a life of fulfillment surrounded by
nature and the serenity of water. So please welcome
(02:57):
Thank you so much, Brian, for agreeing to come on and
share space and co-create this experience for the listeners today.
I am always grateful when
someone comes on and is open to not only sharing their journey and
their expertise, but their time with
(03:21):
So I usually like to start as an icebreaker question to get
to know a little bit more about your
childhood before we get to know who you are today and how you
became who you are today. We
know that as kids we have these vivid imaginations of
who and what we want to be when we grow up, and society, culture,
(03:43):
what have you, unintentionally, I guess, limits
us by telling us to be realistic. Before all
of that happened, I would love to know Who
or what did you want to be as a young boy? And
what's your earliest childhood memory that defines
(04:03):
Well, that's an interesting question I have never been asked before. You
know, when I was a child, I don't know as I really knew what I wanted to
be. I was, you
know, as you know, Bob Proctor was my father. And so he brought me
up in a way, or both my parents really, they
brought me up in a way that Really let me
(04:24):
know that I could be anything I could do whatever I wanted so
I was never pigeonholed into I want to do this all my
life kind of a thing so I have no recollection. You
know wanting to be like a fireman or a police officer or
you know any of the typical things that you would hear from from a
young person i just. I
(04:47):
was brought up that I could be anything. And that's kind of what I remember,
even as a young boy, which is probably pretty good
Absolutely. I can only imagine,
I guess, the levels
of blessings. You know, growing up with Bob Proctor
(05:07):
as your father, I had the blessing
of connecting and meeting Bob, I think, I'm
trying to remember. how old I was. But
at the time, it was actually it was probably around 2013. So
in 2009, I was going through a divorce and a friend forced me to watch the
(05:28):
documentary The Secret. And I wasn't
ready for it at the time. Long story short, you know,
my sister passed away in 2012. I was going through some stuff emotionally.
And in 2013, I was invited to meet Bob and My
life has not been the same since. Totally
(05:51):
blew the top of my mind off.
And I have been obsessed with personal development ever since. So
I can only imagine what it has been
Well, you know, it's funny. I think about it and You
know, my father was introduced to the book Think and Grow Rich in
(06:13):
October of 1961. And that was the big
shift moment for him. I was born in December of
1961. So it's pretty incredible. So I
believe he was working on changing his paradigms, changing his
mindset. He was altering who he was back then.
And at the same time, he was programming me
(06:35):
with all this material, because that's when he started getting into it. And
I often laugh, and I think I might have been like an experiment. He
was always testing these things on me. And it
So I tell people, I feel like our kids, they
get different versions of us, depending on where we are
(06:58):
in life, as we develop. So each one of
my children have received a
different version of me as I've evolved as a person. I know that
my eldest, who is turning 28, the version
of me that she had of me as the teenage mom
versus my son who is turning 19, the
(07:21):
version of me that he got that was obsessed
with personal development and understanding, you know, how the
mind works and how to interact with people and, you know, the
focus on, you know, self-mastery and all those things. So complete
different people that they got as parents. Right. Yep. So,
okay. So I would love if you could share a little bit, um,
(07:44):
with the listeners about your journey, I guess, give
Yeah, well, I guess late teens
is really when you start working and figuring out what you're doing. When
I was in my late teens, I actually worked with my father. So
I was like a roadie on the seminar circuit. This was
(08:06):
long before the internet and everything else that we have today. So
it was going out, putting on big
events, He had a chalkboard, I
would slug the chalkboard, set it up on stage and that was his prop, that's
how he delivered the material. And
so I was kind of the roadie, I was a bit of a salesperson, all
(08:28):
that from late teens into early twenties. And I
thought, man, I got to get out and do my own thing for a while. I
was always Bob Proctor's son, which
wasn't a bad thing. But I had to forge my own way. I had to find
my own thing. So in my mid-20s, I
thought, I was living in Toronto. I was going
to become a real estate agent. Real estate always interested me.
(08:52):
So I went and took the courses, and I became a real estate agent. And
probably the best move I ever made, McKinney. I
was able to use the material that my father taught and
apply it to real estate and when i started in
real estate i remember dad saying to me he said brian you
(09:13):
want to act as if you were the best real estate agent in the entire
city. And treat your clients like that, and they won't know
any different. And I thought, what a great piece of advice. So
that's what I did. I acted like I was the best agent. I
provided the service like I was the best agent. And my
very first clients would have never known that they were my first clients. And
(09:34):
my first month in the business, I think I was probably,
I'm not sure if I was the top agent, but I was certainly right at
the top in my office. And I continued to
do so because I was able to use that material. But
I think what I learned the most was that I could do it on my
own. I could take what I learned and apply it
(09:57):
somewhere else, and I was very successful. That
was a lot of fun. So I was, I was in real estate for, I guess, close to
12 years. And oftentimes
throughout that period of time, you know, my father kept saying, Brian, why don't
you come back to the company? You know, he saw what I was doing. He thought,
you know, I could probably add to that. And I was like, no,
(10:19):
no, I'm good, dad, I'm good. And I was doing my thing. I
hit a point where it was like, it'd be kind of fun to work with him again.
I was obviously a little more mature then. I kind
of had my footing. I was comfortable with who I was. And
so I finally said yes. And I went back and
worked with him. And I worked with him right
(10:41):
up until he passed away, which was in 2022. And it was close to
30 years. I
was really in the background. I did all the marketing and email
list building. I kind of founded that whole piece of it. And
it was a great journey. I had a lot of fun. It
(11:02):
was wonderful working alongside my father. I mean, we were business
partners, but we're father and son, obviously, but we're also
great friends. And it was a joy. So
that's really where it all came about. After
he passed away, I started writing. I
(11:22):
decided I wanted to find my own way of sharing
really who Bob Proctor was, what our relationship was like, that
I've got a very unique perspective of who he was and
how he acted in the world. And so that's when I started writing. And
I've written a couple of books. I'm now starting to
speak. I would have never thought I'd be on stage speaking or doing
(11:45):
podcasts like this with you, Makini. But,
you know, it's, you know, after he was gone,
it was like, it's time for me to step out there and show
the world what he taught me. Because I know
that what I know because of that relationship can
help others. And that's what's landed me
(12:07):
where I'm at today. There's the short synopsis for you.
I mean, your story is obviously a beautiful story.
And like I said, I'm listening to
you tell your story. My face is sore from grinning
from ear to ear. I
think it's beautiful that you
(12:29):
and your father had a close relationship. I think it's beautiful that you
were even out, you know, building your own career in
real estate and decide to go back and work with your dad. You know, as
we mature, I think we learn to appreciate our parents more
than we do in our younger years. And
even the evolution of you now being an author, being
(12:49):
a speaker, coaching, doing all the things that you're doing where
it's like, you're, you're building obviously your own
legacy and I have so many questions
right now. I'm like, which one do I even ask first? Last
year, I had Robin Sharma's son, Colby, on
the podcast. I know for some
(13:11):
kids, and I know my own kids have even said this to me, they
admire what you're doing and who you are, but
obviously everyone has their own path. Sometimes
people who know the parents or even people
who know of the parents will expect the
children to, you know, walk in their shoes or follow up
(13:33):
in their shoes when they have their own shoes to fill, right? So
I would love if you could speak to the listeners about the
experience of what it's been like, you know, building
your own legacy now that you have these two books out
here and you're speaking and writing and
(13:54):
Yeah, it's actually been an interesting journey. I've
never looked at it like I'm filling my father's shoes, because
I never could. And I acknowledge that.
I think you see people trying to fill their parents' shoes or
whoever they're following. you're never going
to be that person. And if I was trying to be my father, I
(14:18):
would be very inauthentic. Um, it wouldn't be me. So
I, I, I look at it like I'll, I'll never fill his
shoes. Um, I'm going to be that independent me
and do what I can do to share my message my way.
And I own that. And I think that's a strength I got from
my father. Um, which is ironic, but in
(14:41):
a really good way, he never, shaped or forced the
way I had to do things. He always let
me be my own guy and do things my own way. I think
back to when I first started to work with him. I
was on sales calls. I was going out and speaking to
groups, trying to sell them into seminars. And the
(15:04):
internet was just kind of getting started. And
I remember having a conversation with him. I said to him, you know,
this is probably within a year to two years of me being back working
with him. I said to him, I don't, I'm not enjoying this. This
is not what I want to do. And. His
reaction was perfect. He just looked at me and he says, that's fine. Then
(15:26):
don't do it. He says, find another way to contribute that
will bring value. And that was it. And I thought, wow,
that was, I mean, that's really a great response. And so
it let me find my own way to make things work. And
back then. There was no quote of
the day service there was no big email list building stuff going
(15:47):
on like there is today so that's what i started. I
had no idea what i was doing but
i found my way because i knew in real estate what made
me successful was staying in touch with my clients. And
I thought, boy, the seminar business, we need to do the same thing. We need to stay
in touch with the clients. And so
(16:08):
I ended up figuring out, I won't go into long details, but
I figured out how to build an email list, how to stay in
touch in an ethical and valuable way. And
that was really the foundation that allowed things to
explode for my father. In the movie, The Secret came
out. He was prepared because
(16:30):
we had set up all the back and we could capture. Email
addresses everything like that a lot of the people in that movie at
that time didn't have that in place because it wasn't a thing
that today it's commonplace of course but
back then it wasn't so he really allowed me
to shine where where i could and. I
(16:55):
I love that answer. I love that
answer in so many different ways, because I feel like
there's a lot of parents today, especially if we're first
or second generation Canadians or Americans, you
know, dealing with parents that have an expectation of what
we should do with our careers or with our life, right? And
(17:18):
we know, like in the coaching business, there are so many people right now that are
unhappy because they went into careers because that's what they thought they were
supposed to do or what their parents wanted them to do instead of what
they actually loved and enjoyed doing or what
they were great at and where they felt they brought the most value. And
I'm the type of parent that I do that with my children, where I allow them the
(17:38):
freedom to figure it out and do what's best for
them. It may not necessarily be what I would
want, but it's their life, right? And sometimes other
parents are like, why are you allowing your child to do this or
do that? And I'm like, because that's what they're good at and that's what they enjoy. So I'm going to support that.
But I think, again, so many questions. It's
(18:01):
like every time you say something, I have all these things that I want to unpack. Funny
enough, I was actually in real estate, selling real estate, when
I met your father. And
it was your sister, Colleen, that got me into public speaking because
I was terrified to speak in front of an audience. You
(18:21):
know, if someone asked me to stand up and
speak about myself in a room with even 30 people. Anxiety would
kick in, my hands would start sweating, my heart was
racing, and it was your
family's advice that helped me to, I
guess, tap into more of who I am and be able to
(18:43):
write more books and speak and coach and do all these things. And,
you know, you have that blood flowing in your veins where it's just like the
supportive family. Like, I have never met
an entire family of so many good,
loving people. You know, some people have,
(19:03):
yeah, families, and there's always those, you know, couple people in there that are
just not. But all of you, every
single one of you that I have had the pleasure of connecting with,
the amount of love and generosity and support that
you all show and share, like, is
(19:23):
so beautiful. I'm trying not to get emotional because I'm an emotional person, but
I think the world just needs more people like yourselves. So
I want to talk about your first book, which I have here. So
in your book, My Father Knew the Secret, Growing Up with Bob Proctor, you
know, you share, obviously, like you said before, your unique perspective of
(19:47):
growing up alongside such a powerful figure in personal development.
What do you feel is the most impactful lesson that
You know, the one thing I guess would probably vary from day to
(20:10):
day, depending on where I'm feeling. But if
I was to pick the one most valuable lesson, god,
there's so many. But I will touch on more than one, because
I just have to. But the first one would be
to make sure that you're chasing something big. You're
going after a big and worthy goal, something
(20:31):
that you're not even quite sure how you're going to achieve. That's how
big it's got to be. but that it excites you, it
excites you. And if you're chasing something that's
worthy, that excites you, it will cause you to
do things in a day that you wouldn't normally do. That's
value right there, that's growth. So if there's one
(20:52):
thing I learned from dad, that would be the big one. I can
often, I remember as a kid, if I would hit my goal,
I would achieve whatever it was I
was going after, He would, his
first question would be what's next, what are you
going after now? It was never a big congratulations. And
(21:14):
when I was younger, that used to bug me. And I realized that was
my ego. I wanted to be congratulated for doing this. And
for him, it was the journey. It's what you learn along the way. That's
the goal. When we achieve a goal, that's a
win for sure. It's usually anticlimactic, because
by the time we get there, we're ready for it. It's what we
(21:37):
learn along the way. And that's
probably the biggest thing I learned from him. If
I'm to pick the next biggest thing, if I can share this, McKinney, and
this is probably the most valuable lesson
that I have received. And it's
funny, he drilled this into me. You've
(22:01):
got the book, so you would have read it. It was that first chapter. That was
a tough chapter to write. That's the
first thing I wrote after he passed. I had started writing the book before he
passed away. And we had some fun around it. He knew I was writing the
book. I didn't know what I was going to call it at the time, but he knew that I
was writing it. Well, that first chapter I wrote after he passed.
(22:24):
I was fortunate. I got to spend a lot of time with him in the hospital before
he passed away. We
got to share everything with each other. There was nothing left unsaid. I
know how lucky I was that way. But
one of the things that he said to me, McKinney, he says, Brian, keep talking
to me. Keep talking to me every day. Even when
(22:47):
I'm gone, keep talking to me. And just listen to that inner
voice. Call it intuition, call it whatever you want, and
follow that. And it's
such an interesting thing. After he passed, I think because
of our conversations, I've done that. And I have really
listened to my intuition, and I have followed it to
(23:10):
a T. And I will tell
you that my life in the last couple of years has grown. I've
done so much. And it, quite frankly,
has been perfect. It's been uncomfortable. I've
done things that made me, I was very scared. But
my intuition was telling me to do it, so I did it. I just listened
(23:31):
to it. I didn't let the paradigms and
those voices on your shoulder telling you, who are you to think
you can do that? You can't do that because if
my intuition told me to do it, I did it. And it
has led me perfectly. That's
probably one of the most valuable lessons I've gotten from him. Intuition
(23:55):
is something that we get right away, and then our
paradigms can push it away. How
many times have we done something when we knew we shouldn't have, that was
intuition talking, but we did it anyway, and it comes back to bite us.
How many times our intuition says, oh, you should do this, but you don't because you think, oh
man, I could never do that. And you think, oh, a year later, I
(24:16):
wished I had done that. I am now at the point
where I just listen to my intuition. If it tells me to say yes, I
say yes. If it says to say no, and I'm not even sure why, I
politely say no. And it has
Mm-hmm. I call my intuition God whispers. I
feel like, you know, my intuition, like you said, even if
(24:38):
you're not sure why, I'm like, nope, God just whispered something to me. Nope.
You know something? I love that because I heard something
around that. I'm not sure who said it, but it said when we pray, we're
I don't know where I heard that, but it's... You know what's funny? As
(25:02):
you say that, I'm like, I know I heard that somewhere, too. And I
also, that's like a model that I live by. But I
feel like the book that Susanna and I wrote, that you wrote the foreword for, I
feel like it's in there as well. So maybe, maybe.
I'm not sure where I heard it either, but the exact words
that you just said, I'm like, I say that all the time. And I think I wrote, we wrote that
(25:22):
in the book. You know, there's
so many, there's so many beautiful things that
I want, I guess, us to unpack from what you just said, because I
know a lot of people don't like to necessarily talk about, you know,
when someone passes or losing a loved one. And
(25:44):
I haven't lost a parent, so I would not know
what that feels like. But I've lost
my sister and my grandmother that helped raise me, and I know grief
is like an expression of love. And everything
that you just said, like the advice that your dad said to you about, you know, keep talking to
him. I did that when my sister passed away, and my life has
(26:08):
not been the same, and the amount of blessings and
opportunities for me to grow that came from that. And it was like
every time, you know, a new accomplishment or blessing or, you
know, some form of success came, and I was like, thank you, Andrea.
Like I was just, you know, talking to her and inspired, trying
to I guess, live life with more purpose and
(26:29):
continue the legacy that, you know, she was leaving impacting other
people's lives. You know, when you talked, like,
there are so many things that you said that I can completely relate to that. It's
like, obviously, we love our loved ones and would
love to have them here with us. But it's also how
we've been able to find the lessons through our grief to,
(26:51):
I guess, evolve as people and to serve on a greater scale and
to make a greater impact. It's like, you know, we've transmuted
that pain into purpose. And it's it's
not easy, like you said, you know, there's lots of
discomfort, but the beauty in it, you know, I feel
like it should be spoken about more because I feel
(27:12):
like there are people who lose loved ones and they kind of get
stuck in the depression. They get stuck in, you know, missing that
person. But how can you honor that person? How
can you continue that connection with that loved one? So
Well, you know, we had a great conversation around it, literally
(27:34):
days before he passed away. And he said to
me, he said, Brian, don't be sad that I'm gone. Be happy for
the relationship that we've got. And I'm not
going to say I didn't grieve. My God, I grieved. Dad and
I were very close, and I still grieve. But
I look at it from this point of view, and I think this is a healthy way to look
(27:57):
at it. Our relationship has just changed. He's
not here any longer, but I can still talk to him. I
talk to him, and I know what his answers would be. I know what
he would say to me. So although I don't have him in
the physical world, which I do miss, I
miss, we had daily conversations. I mean, I miss that
(28:18):
dearly. But I still speak to him, and
I can still hear him. And I enjoy
that part of our relationship now, because that's what I've got. And he
was always, always look for the positive. Always look for
the positive in what you've got. Don't look back and regret, because
then you're living in the past. And if you ruminate that too
(28:41):
long, you just drag yourself there. He was always about
being the present moment, be the best version of you that you can be every day.
And that's when he said, still talk to me. And so I
look at it like I still have a relationship with him. He's
gone, but he's still here. And I
(29:01):
Yes, absolutely. I would love to know, because, okay,
so in your book, I know that you said you started writing
the book while he was still here. And you speak a lot about
your father, obviously, because it's about growing up with Bob Proctor. But
I would love to know how that helped with your healing process. Because
I know when I was writing my first book, and I had a whole chapter dedicated to
(29:22):
the passing of my sister, and every time I sat down to write that
chapter, I was in tears. I would bawl my eyes out, and I would have to
skip to writing another chapter. But when I finally sat down and
wrote that chapter, and then after the fact, speaking
on platforms about it, it helped with my healing process. So I
would love to know how writing this helped you with your healing
(29:44):
I would say I'm identical to your situation. So
I had quite a bit, maybe half
of the book or a third of the book written before he passed away. So
there's still a lot that needed to be done. It
probably took me three months before I even started to write again
after he passed. And when I did, I wrote that first chapter,
(30:06):
which was all about the end of his life. And that was
a tough one. And I had many tears, the same as
you. And I kind
of thought, once it was done, I guess it was
kind of cathartic. It felt good because I was able
to share what he was about with the world. And
(30:26):
that was important to me. And I thought, once
the book was out there, that was it. I was done. Boy,
little did I know. That's when everything started. People
were reaching out to me. They wanted me on podcasts. They wanted to interview me.
They wanted me up on stage talking about it. And my
intuition told me that that's what you need to do so i started to do
(30:49):
it. Who's incredibly uncomfortable in
the beginning but it felt like it was the right thing to do
and. It helped me a lot. It
really helped me a lot because I got to keep
speaking positively about my father and sharing his message.
And that helped me through my grief. So much like
(31:11):
your situation with your sister is the same kind of thing. It
really helped me through it. And it really got me to focus on
all the great qualities that he had. And it
It helps. Absolutely. Absolutely. I
would love to know, okay, so in your new book, 12 Easy
Steps to Change Your Life, Stop Waiting for That Big Thing, you
(31:35):
provide actionable advice for personal development. So
what inspired you to write this book, and what do you hope
that the readers will implement into their lives from this book?
Yeah, so in the new book, I'll
tell you why I was inspired to write it, because I had such a great response
(31:55):
from my father into the secret. I had so many people reaching out,
what's next? What else can you share? They're
like, I know you've got more in you and all of that. Um,
I, I actually had a publisher reach out to me and, um,
um, I signed a three book deal over three years. So there's another couple
of books. Um, and it was a,
(32:18):
it was a fun journey. So this book, um, I
thought, you know what, I'm going to share. the 12 things
that I've used that have helped me live a great life. I
feel I live a really great life. I'm in a
good space, I have a great business, I love where I live, everything
about my life I feel really good about. And I thought, I'm gonna
(32:39):
share everything that I've used to get here. Because
I know that if it helped me, it will help you. And
that's it. So in the 12 easy steps
to change your life is just that. 12 easy
steps to change your life. Nothing's complicated. I
won't complicate anything. I think when people complicate stuff, they're trying
(33:01):
to make themselves sound, I think, smarter or something. I don't know. So
I've kept it really simple, really valuable, and
I've really given the steps that can help you completely
alter your life. So if somebody's struggling
right now, they can get out of struggle. Here's
the better part though, if somebody's already doing well,
(33:24):
this book can help you do even better. So it really covers everything,
because it's everything I've used all of my life. Now,
if I was, Let's say one little nugget
around that book. It's simply
this. So often, we're always waiting for
that big thing to happen, that big event to change our
(33:47):
life, that everything's going to be better when we get here. This
is something that I've shared with everybody. Stop waiting
for that big thing, because that big thing may or may not
ever happen. But I'll tell you how it will happen is by taking
care of the little things. McKinney, if we
did one little thing every day, even if it's insignificant,
(34:09):
if we did one little thing every day that would get us one step closer
to our goal, do you know in a year that's 365 little
things. Believe you me, that's going to add up to
A compound effect. Yes, yes. I
love it. Listen, I agree with all
of the lessons. How has the
(34:33):
lessons in, I'm going to say, I guess your most recent
book, have they also helped in
I don't know if they've helped in the healing and grief process as
much, other than I feel like I'm carrying
on my father's legacy in a way that I'm doing things that
(34:56):
he did. but I'm doing them in my own way.
And that's probably a good thing. And that helps. So
for me, I'm forever hearing my father whisper in
my ear. And things I write, I
write based on experiences that I learned from him, really.
(35:16):
So that helps. That's really, I
Yeah, as you said that, I was just thinking of something that
Susannah always says for the listeners who are
listening. Susannah's my business
partner. We co-wrote our last book together. Brian
(35:36):
wrote the foreword. Susannah's also one of Bob's proteges.
But she always says, what would Bob do? Whenever
we're having a challenge in the business or we're trying to think of what to do next, she's like,
what would Bob do? Okay,
well, I guess what advice would you give to the listeners who
(35:59):
are grieving the loss of a loved one, especially people
who may feel overwhelmed about, you know, the void that's
Yes. That void's not going to go away. The
void is going to be there. I think we have to acknowledge that. you
know yes there's a hole left once they're gone um and
(36:20):
that hole's never going to get filled in um it
it will the the pain will get less and less as time goes on
for sure but you know like dad said to
me he says don't be sad that i'm gone be
grateful that we were that i was here and that we had this relationship and
so for me i look back on all the positive things
(36:43):
i had with that i look back on our conversations i look back
on our hugs I look on the
time he kissed me. I just look for all
the loving moments, and that's what I think about. And I
don't think about it in sadness. I think
that's the key. I think we have to, with awareness, we can
switch the way we look at things. And I
(37:07):
look at it with love. I just think, man, how
lucky I was to have that relationship. I
don't think about how sad I am that he's gone. So
it's really a mindset. And we have the
capacity to change the way we look at things. And
that's all we need to do. So if you're experiencing deep grief, just
(37:29):
start looking for the positive in it. I'm not gonna
say that there isn't bad in being gone, but
boy, there is a lot of positive. You can start focusing
on more of the positive aspects of what your relationship was
What do you feel is a misconception that most people have
(37:54):
Who? Misconception about me? They probably think
I've always had it great because Bob Proctor was my father. That's
probably the big mistake. And I haven't. I've
had some down times. I've had some big struggles. Dad
never bailed me out. It was always, you
know, you got to learn your own way. And I
(38:17):
don't know if everybody knows that. I
can relate to anybody because I've probably been there. I've had
relationships gone bad. I've gone through divorce. I
have had financial struggles. Now, I have used
everything I've learned to get to now where I am
that I have no financial struggles and I have a wonderful
(38:39):
marriage. I have great kids. I have all
the good things. I've struggled. I've
struggled. So if you're struggling, believe you me, I know where
I'm happy that
you shared that because I do feel like people have this misconception that
(38:59):
they know someone's life based on what they see online. I
know that I get that, so I can only imagine how much you
get. I remember hearing Bob say one time
he was speaking on stage and he was talking about his sea goals
and building schools and stuff in Africa. He was like,
when he passes, I guess what he
(39:21):
plans on doing with his money. He's like, I hope
Well, I can assure you, I know he said
that many, many times, and yes,
Okay, so I would love if you could
(39:42):
let the listeners know where they can stay connected with
you, where they can buy your books, where they can learn more from you and about
Oh, thanks, McKinney. Really easy. You just go to bryanproctor.com. Brian's
spelled with an I, so bryanproctor.com, and you'll
be able to get the books there, get in contact with me
(40:04):
Perfect, perfect, perfect. So
I guess we'll go into the rapid fire and
you can answer these in one word,
one sentence, but I also don't like to put people into a
box. So if you feel the need to expand, you're more than welcome to do so.
Okay, so typically I like to ask guests
(40:28):
to name a book that has changed or greatly impacted their life.
And since we've been speaking so much about your father and we all know
that Thinking Grow Rich was a book that impacted his
life, I would love to know if there's one book in particular that
you read consistently that has changed or
(40:49):
I will tell you right now, I am reading a book that
is really interesting. So this is not the quickest answer,
but I'm gonna give it to you quickly. And this is my new go-to.
It's called The Creative Act, A Way of Being by
Rick Rubin. It is spectacular. It's
I'm gonna add it to my reading list. Thank you.
(41:12):
Yeah, if you've ever seen Rick Rubin, Again,
I'm taking away from your rapid fire, but Rick Rubin is just the wildest looking
guy. He's a music producer and he's probably worth hundreds of
millions of dollars. You'd never know it looking at him. He
is one of the most interesting people I have ever listened
(41:33):
Wow, okay, I am definitely adding that to my reading list. I try to make
sure I read at least two books a month, so I'm adding
that to my list right now, and I'm gonna make that my next read, thank you. Very
good. Okay, what
new belief, behavior, or habit has improved your life in
Intuition, what we talked about earlier, intuition. It has
(41:57):
Love it, okay. What's a part of your journey that most people
that I get uncomfortable. I step across that terror barrier all
the time. I do things that scare me. And
people, they might not know it, but I do things that scare
me. You know, when we step out of our comfort zone, that's when we really
learn. That's when we can be more. So that's something
(42:26):
Love it. What do you wish people were more
I wish people, you know, I'm living in
the United States right now, and we are in a crazy climate.
I wish people were more aware of kindness. Just
be kind to each other. We all have differences.
(42:47):
We don't need to throw that in each other's faces. We
don't need to create hate around different things. I
think, my God, if we could just find a way to connect with everybody and
Okay, when and where are you the happiest? You
(43:09):
know what? When and where? I am the happiest when
I'm out on the water. I love being on the water. I
live on the ocean, and so if I get out on my boat
or out on the kayak, sometimes just sitting on the balcony in
the morning having a coffee, just overlooking the water. I love the water. It
Love it. Okay, what advice would you
(43:32):
My future self? I would say what we
talked about earlier. Just do the little things and do them every
day. Step out and do something that
is going to take you one step closer to your dream. Boy,
we'd accomplish so much more if we just did that every day rather than let the
days run us. If we take control and
(43:55):
Okay, what's your most repeated thought in a
Huh, you're asking a good question. My most
repeated thought would
probably just be, do it, do it, do it.
You know, just take action, take action. I'm forever
(44:20):
I love it. I honestly think that that is a great
way to end the show because I feel like, you know, inspiration is
beautiful, motivation is beautiful, but action is where the results come
from. And if that's the thought
that you're having every single day repeatedly, no wonder
Yeah, you know, I'll share one little thing here
(44:43):
with you. This is something that I have witnessed all of
my life. I've been around the seminar business and self-development industry
my whole life, and I see a lot of people that come to programs And
I think they just come for the entertainment factor. They never
step out and actually do anything with it. It's the action
takers in the world. They're the ones that make it happen. They're the ones
(45:05):
that get to achieve all these big dreams. Yes,
you need to visualize it, you need to think it, but then you need to
step out and start doing something. Don't plan and
plan and plan until it never gets done. Step out and take
That is the greatest advice ever. I've
(45:27):
been an entrepreneur for just over 15 years. I've been in
the personal development space as an entrepreneur for
about 10 years. Just like you said, there are people
that come to seminars. I call them motivational junkies. They
come to get high off of the motivation at the seminar. They
get high off the information. It's the happy
(45:49):
hormones or what have you that they come for
that energy to be in that vibration, but they don't actually
take action and do anything with the information. So
I love that you ended on that advice. And
thank you so much, Brian. Thank you for sharing your
story, not only with us, but with the world. Thank you for
(46:10):
the work that you do. Thank you for your time, your
energy. I truly, truly appreciate you and you embody what
you believe, like your kindness shines through. So
Thank you, Makini. You know what? I really appreciate you having me on. And
(46:30):
I appreciate the promotion. I want to get this books into
as many hands as possible because I know they will make a difference. So I
Me too. Thank you so much. And I look forward to having
many more in the future. And I wish you all the success in
the world. All right. Thank you. To
(46:51):
all you healers out there, until next time, subscribe on all platforms and
don't forget to rate the show and leave us a review on Apple Podcast. We
would love to hear your aha moments, the gems that you took away
from hearing Brian's story. Feel free to share
it with us in your review. I
just want to thank each and every one of you that continues to listen each week to
(47:12):
help the show rank globally in the top 1.5% of
most popular podcasts out there. If
you could think of five friends that would receive value
from hearing today's show, please share it with them. Feel free to
screenshot this week's episode and you can tag
myself at TheRealMcKinneySmith or you can tag Brian at
(47:34):
BrianProctorOfficial. A healthy community
is a healing community and a healing community is full of hope because
it has seen its own people weather, survive, and
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!