Episode Transcript
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Shana (00:00):
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to walking inTalking with me.
It's been a while since I'verecorded because to be honest,
the weather has been supershitty and it just hasn't been
nice enough to talk.
It's been windy, cold, raining,snowing, you name it.
And so this is the first time ina while where the weather has
(00:22):
been nice enough for me to beable to walk.
And on top of that, my husbandhas already walked the dog, so I
don't have the dog with me,which also makes a huge
difference because then I don'thave to stop and do Aussie stuff
while I'm trying to record.
So.
Here we are, and hopefully I'mnot huffing and puffing too
much.
I do have my weighted vest onand I do love my weighted vest,
(00:44):
but when I go up hills with it,it does create a little bit of
breathing things.
So hopefully I can minimize thatfor you guys today, but we'll do
our best.
I get a lot of questions aboutmy weighted vest.
I got it on Amazon from acompany called Zeal, it's linked
to my Amazon shop that's on myart account, Shana Rucker.
(01:05):
Art in my bio is my Amazon shopand the weighted vest that I use
is linked there.
I have a 16 pound vest.
They say it should be about 10%of your body weight.
So I chose this one and it'sperfect.
(01:25):
Could I go heavier?
Yes, I could, but if you, I havea 20 pound vest as well.
It doesn't fit me quite a snug,so I have to adjust it a lot.
And if I do a very long walkwith that one it gets really
heavy and hard on my back hurtsa bit.
So this 16 pound one for me isperfect.
So if you're looking for a vest,that's what I, those are the
(01:48):
rules of thumb that I've beentold about weighted vests.
I have a few things that I wannaupdate you guys on today, this
week, and the first one ishormone update because I know a
lot of you guys follow me orlisten to this podcast because
you're pretty much like me.
I think you're probably, if Ihad to guess, my audience is
(02:09):
mainly female, probably inbetween 40 and 55, 60, and so
we're very midlife and a lot ofus are entrepreneurs and moms
and probably have maybe one ortwo businesses or maybe even
more.
We're just doing all the thingsand all of a sudden we get
blindsided by perimenopause.
(02:31):
I've done episodes about thisbefore, so you can go back and
listen to those.
And that's the reason I talkabout it on this podcast is
because this podcast is aboutall things.
Just trying to get through the,this thing called life, and this
is a pretty big topic right now,which I think is amazing
because.
Our moms and their moms and soon and so forth didn't talk
(02:54):
about this stuff.
They didn't have the supportthat we have.
They didn't have the researchthat we have.
And I think that we are changingthe game for our daughters,
which I think is amazing.
So we do need to talk about thisstuff, and I think as an
entrepreneur and as a mom and awife, all those things, I think
that we have to have theseconversations So that.
(03:15):
Our daughter's generation andtheir daughter's generation can.
feel comfortable talking aboutit and get the support and the
things that they need.
Because like I say, these thingsweren't available for our
parents and it makes me sad tothink about that, the struggle
that those generations wentthrough.
I've talked about this before onprevious podcast, so feel free
to catch up over there.
But today I wanted to sharebecause I started a new hormone,
(03:38):
I started testosterone.
I finally found a doctor whowould.
Prescribed testosterone.
It took a while.
I wanna share that experience.
But just to update you where I'mat in this journey, and I think
this is really important to talkabout too because I, I know, I
wonder what other people areexperiencing.
I wonder.
What other hormones people aretaking.
I wonder what kind of thingsthey're going through and how it
(04:02):
either was for them or, mesharing my journey helped
somebody else who's just cominginto this and so I think it's
important to talk about it andjust share your experience.
Kind of feels weird just talkingabout, what's going on with me.
But I know that in doing that,it's helping somebody else.
Because somebody else iswondering, well, what will
happen if I take estrogen orwhat happens when I take
testosterone or whatever?
(04:23):
And I will say, not everybody'sexperience is gonna be the same.
Not everybody can take the samethings I'm taking, and this is
why you have to find a doctorwho will help you and work with
you, who is educated on thisstuff.
And on that note.
If you are struggling to findthat, please, please be
persistent.
(04:43):
Please keep going.
Don't just give in.
Don't just say, oh, my doctorwon't do it.
I guess I don't get it.
Because it is and can be a totalgame changer for your life.
You do not need to sit andsuffer in this.
I know people who have justsuffered through symptoms
because their doctor won'tprescribe them for whatever
reason.
And it's not a technically avalid reason.
(05:05):
It's because the doctor is noteducated.
Which is where I was at onepoint in my journey.
And I kept persisting until Igot a next, the next doctor and
the next doctor until I finallygot what I needed.
And it has been a game changerfor me in the sense that I don't
wake up feeling depressed, sad,like I wanna cry, like I wanna
crawl into a whole now I wake upand I feel, I still have
(05:28):
symptoms.
Don't get me wrong.
It's not a, it's not a miraclecure by any means.
But it definitely has changedthe game for me.
And so I think it's important totalk about this stuff because
there are people out there whoare suffering, who don't know
that they have options, don'tknow what those options might
even be, and they don't know howmuch better it can be if they
can continue to persist to findsomeone who can help them.
(05:50):
That's the main reason I'mtalking about this shit on here.
Anyways, for those who enjoy it,please stay and listen.
And for those who don't, that'sokay.
You don't have to listen.
Okay, so let's update myjourney.
I have been probably for thelast, almost a year now on
estrogen and progesterone.
Progesterone first.
I was on, that was the firstthing I was prescribed as a
(06:11):
quick sort of recap.
Mm-hmm.
I was sleeping better when Istarted taking progesterone.
I woke up with less anxiety.
I woke up just feeling more likemyself.
When I started to feel some ofthose anxiety, mood swings,
creep back in.
I got given estrogen.
And so those two things togetherI have been on.
200 milligrams of progesteroneat night, two pumps of estradiol
(06:34):
in the morning, and that haskept things pretty consistent
for me, and I think that's oneof the keys to all of this, is
just trying to have a consistentlevel of normalcy when you're.
Because that's the hard partwith hormones and perimenopause,
is that it changes frequentlyand it's hard to even nail.
(06:56):
Like they say, there's no bloodtest you can take to see if
you're in this because yourhormones are fluctuating, like
for women all different times ofthe month.
So it's really hard to knowwhere your hormones are at.
It's about trying to find asolution for you that keeps
things as level, I would say, aspossible.
And that's where I'm at rightnow.
Things are good, like I haveless anxiety, I have less mood
(07:18):
swings.
I feel a little less, I don'tknow, like there was a period of
time there where I was feelinglike I just didn't belong
anywhere and I just didn't knowwho I was and what was going on.
It was a weird space to be infor sure, but I feel like that's
even leveled out a bit.
So yeah, that's been great.
(07:39):
Now I have been wanting to trytestosterone because
testosterone, not only is itgreat for low libido, which I've
heard that it can support thatdefinitely something I
personally have been strugglingwith.
But it's also good for likebrain fog for clarity, for mind.
Health for muscle.
Health for energy.
Like there's so many things thatit does for us and.
(08:00):
When we are going throughperimenopause, we can be low in
testosterone, which that createsall those problems.
So I have been wanting to try itto see if it will take things up
a level for me because I've beenfine.
But there's definitely room forimprovement and I wanted to see
if this would help me feel evenmore like myself.
(08:21):
Here's some fun facts, and I'mnot a doctor.
I might have these facts wrong.
I'm going by what I've learnedthrough my own research and what
I was told from the people, theprofessionals that I've worked
with, but that we actually makewomen more testosterone than
estrogen in our bodies.
But we just make less than men.
(08:43):
So testosterone is a veryimportant hormone that women
need.
Our bodies use testosterone.
It creates testosterone.
It uses testosterone formultiple different functions.
And this is why we, when we'redeficient in testosterone, we
feel the effects of it.
And so I went to see, so here'sthe thing.
Before I went to see thisdoctor, I went to not my doctor.
(09:06):
My doctor wasn't gonna gimmehormones at all.
He gave me the birth control.
That was it.
And so he knew he was not theperson to help me, so he moved
me over to another doctor whodid support me, and they gave me
the estrogen and theprogesterone.
That was great.
They would not gimmetestosterone.
(09:26):
So I kept doing my research,kept looking, kept trying to
find a doctor who would be opento that, and I was going to pay
to, because there's clinics thatyou can go to get these hormones
where they are.
I would say, I think they'renurse practitioners who
specialize in hormones.
And they will give you thosehormones if they feel it's the
(09:47):
right fit.
But you have to pay.
So you have to pay, could be 500or more for the appointment.
You gotta pay for follow up andthen you gotta pay for the
actual medicine as well.
So I was like a step away fromdoing that.
I had actually emailed thisclinic, I was gonna go, and then
a friend of mine who's a doctor,told me about a new doctor who
was coming into the game.
(10:08):
Four hormones in women and shewas taking new clients.
Luckily I was able to get inwith her and no fee, just our
regular OHIP fees.
And she asked me a bazillionquestions and sent me for blood
work and sure enough, mytestosterone was low, so she
prescribed me testosterone and.
(10:29):
I was so happy.
Like it was such a relief tofinally have somebody who's like
listening and open and willing,if I'm willing to try, it's my
body, right?
Like let's try it.
She told me the warnings and therisks.
you could get acne, you could,if you take too much, it can
definitely affect.
You can get facial hair and allthat shit.
(10:50):
I was already getting facialhair, like what's a few more
fucking gin hairs anyways, so,but she said those things only
happen if you are taking toomuch and that shouldn't happen.
So like the testosterone I'mtaking, she said a male dose of
this particular testosterone isfour pumps.
(11:10):
Every day I'm taking five pumps.
Over the course of a week.
So it's such a smaller dose, alike majorly, much smaller dose.
So, and I haven't had any sideeffects like the scary ones, but
it's only been about a month anda half, maybe two months,
actually two months that I'vebeen taking the testosterone at.
(11:33):
I didn't obviously noticeanything because this is the
thing with hormones.
Some of them, in my experience,progesterone, I noticed it very
quickly how much it wasimpacting me.
I noticed probably within thefirst week estrogen, Hmm, that
took a little bit, but maybe adifference in the first three or
four weeks.
Testosterone, I've heard it cantake three to four months before
(11:54):
you really notice thedifferences.
So I'm on month two.
The first thing that I would saythat I noticed would be, I just
felt like the word I used, I wastrying to describe it to Jason
and I was like, I just feelbrighter.
Like I just feel like.
My brain is lighter, like itjust feels more, I don't know,
(12:16):
colorful, like things just feela little bit less heavy, I
guess.
So I would say that's the firstthing is just noticing how much,
brighter I felt and how muchless, I don't know.
I just had less of everythingand just like the less of
anxiety, less of the moodswings, less of those things.
Now I will say that fluctuates.
I find even though I'm notgetting a period anymore, or
(12:39):
right now, I still feel like Ihave a bit of a cycle.
Like the, the week before yourcycle you've got, you're usually
pmm sing pretty hard.
So I would say I still have thatto some degree.
So I would say that there wereweeks that were better than
others, but I think that's justkind of part of the cycling.
But overall I just felt muchbetter.
(13:00):
I'll say in my workouts, I feellike I have more energy to do
the work.
Like there are times where I'mlike, Ooh, I'll only take this
weight because I'm pretty surefor those I can only do this.
And then I would do like a roundand then I'd get to the second
round and be like, no, I think Ican do more and I pick up more.
So I feel like a bit withworking out that there's
definitely something there.
(13:22):
It's hard to say, Because it'sonly been two months.
There's nothing like crazydrastic.
It's not like overnight.
I just woke up and was like,everything was perfect, but it
was definitely.
It was definitely, a slightincrease and I think I can still
increase my dose even more if Iwant to.
For right now I'm just gonnahang tight.
But as far as the libido and allthat kind of stuff, I think it's
increasing a little bit.
(13:42):
It's hard to tell I think ingeneral I'm starting to notice
more of improvement in how I'mfeeling and more cognitive
function.
I feel like that there'sdefinitely increase there.
Again, it's hard to say ahundred percent what is
testosterone related?
What is, maybe where I'm at inmy cycle, what, like, what is
what?
But there's definitely some,there's definitely something
(14:04):
happening in a positive way.
I know I've talked to somepeople who've said, oh, I didn't
notice anything and stuff.
And I said, I really do think,first of all, everybody's
experience is going to bedifferent.
But the other thing is, is I dothink it requires time.
Like all of this stuff requirestime.
Because even when I firststarted the testosterone for
like the first week, I wasnauseous.
I think it was just my bodygetting used to the
(14:26):
testosterone.
Maybe it was, maybe I just atesomething.
I don't know.
But I feel like it was somethingthat my body was just going
like, oh, this is new.
And it was just making me feel abit nauseous.
another new symptom I have isheart palpitations with a bit of
a dizzy spell, which I have doneso much research that is a total
normal menopause.
Thing, and I don't think it'srelated to the testosterone.
(14:50):
I do have an appointment with mydoctor coming up, so I'm gonna
discuss that.
But in all the research thatI've done, it all comes up as
part of a late perimenopauselate perimenopause symptom, and
I'm definitely feeling like I'min that zone.
So I am.
I'm not worried.
I'm just, just taking note kindof thing.
(15:11):
And then on the positive side ofall of this, actually, before I
get to that one other thing, I,I researched and here's, I've
been using chat GPT to researcha lot of this stuff, you guys,
it's a huge time saver tool forgetting to the root of What
something might be because it'sjust pulling from all of the
resources that exist on theinternet.
And I've just, obviously you,your doctor is the best
(15:35):
resource, but if you're justlooking for some information to
help you get through something Ithink it's a great tool and I
have been, it knows me.
It like my chacha, BT knows meand knows.
My age, my like all my things.
It knows where I'm at.
And so when I ask it a question,it'll always say, well, based on
what you know, we've talkedabout, I think this and this and
this and this, and this is thestudies that, it pulls up links
(15:55):
and studies and things likethat, which I think is pretty
cool too.
And so it's been very helpful.
And one of the things that I hadheard, and I did run this
through HGBT, was inperimenopause, we also lose
oxytocin.
And it makes so much sense.
When I learned about this, Ijust like it connected a lot of
(16:15):
dots for me because oxytocin isthe love hormone.
Oxytocin is, the hormone thatmakes us feel like we belong.
It makes us feel loved and weget that oxytocin through things
like, having relationships,being in, in the presence of
other people.
through touch, through hugs,through,, your partner like it.
It's something that getsreleased.
(16:37):
In those kinds of situations.
And when you're inperimenopause, the last thing
you wanna do is be touched.
The last thing you wanna do ishave a conversation with
somebody.
Sometimes, like you just don'teven know who you are and you
feel so disconnected.
And it's this like viciouscircle of oxytocin is the.
Is the chemical or the hormonethat makes us feel loved and
(16:57):
feels like we belong and feellike all of those things.
Yet it's also what we'relacking.
And so we don't want thosethings because we're lacking it,
and then we feel like we're not,we don't belong and that we, I
did a, a podcast episode onfriendships and it makes sense
why I feel that way with myfriends, because I'm also
lacking oxytocin at.
(17:18):
And the way you create it, youcan't supplement for oxytocin.
Oxytocin is something that youjust have to, you get through
doing things and when you don'tfeel like doing those things,
you can't create it.
So you're in this sort ofvicious circle of needing this,
but not wanting to do the thingsthat get to create it.
So it's a real fucked up.
(17:39):
Place to be.
And I have so much empathy forpeople who are in this situation
that I'm in and feel all thesethings because, at the end of
the day, we're just trying tofucking get through the day and
just, we're just, it justsometimes feels like all the
odds are stacked against us, itcan be very hard and depressing,
(17:59):
and that's why the hormones andgetting the support you need is
so important because when youcan get on the right things and
you do the research and youunderstand it, it allows you to.
I don't know, feel better.
it's maybe not a, a solution, aperfect solution, but it can
help increase, things that yourlevel of happiness and joy and
(18:21):
get it to a place where you canat least feel like you're gonna
make it through the day, youknow?
And.
And so it's, it's so importantto, like I say, persist and get
the support you need, becauseI'm telling you, the odds are
definitely stacked against us inthis perimenopause game.
And, everybody's journey'sdifferent, but I think as women,
(18:43):
we all go through it to somedegree and in different ways,
and it can be brutal.
I don't even think my case is.
The worst out there.
I'm sure that there's lots ofother people who are
experiencing debilitating nightsweats and hot flashes.
Like I don't really get thosethat much, but I sure as heck
get a lot of other things,that's why I think talking about
this stuff is so importantbecause you're not alone.
(19:04):
your symptoms might be differentthan mine, but I get it.
I feel it.
I feel what you are goingthrough and I'm empathetic and I
hope that.
By listening to me and jibberjabber on about all this stuff
that you don't feel alone inyour journey and that, talk to
somebody, It's hard because,when you get together with your
friends, the last thingeverybody wants to do is sit
there and talk about menopause.
(19:25):
But I think sometimes we haveto, because it's what helps us
feel normal and it helps us feellike we're gonna be okay and
that some, somebody's on ourside,, that we're not in this
alone.
And.
Here's the other point that Iwanted to talk about today, and
that is we get to age.
If we're lucky enough to beperimenopausal dealing with all
this stuff, that means we'restill alive and, and we still
(19:48):
have our lives.
It's funny, I was in ourbasement, we have all these
photo albums, and I was downthere doing my Peloton workout
and I picked up one of the photoalbums and it was my grade.
12 or grade 13 graduation fromhigh school.
And this photo album was justall photos of my friends and the
people that were in my life atthat time.
And it was just, blast from thepast, right.
(20:09):
Looking back and seeing allthese people.
it was nice to look at, but itwas also very sad in the sense
that there were people that werein that photo album that aren't
here today.
one of my friends died when shewas 27, like.
Another friend in those photos.
Her brother died when he was inhis forties.
my brother-in-law died when hewas in his fifties, and we get
(20:31):
to go through perimenopause.
I get to be alive right now.
And that's a privilege thatsometimes as much as it's, you
know.
Sometimes it feels good tocomplain about everything that's
going on in our lives and youknow, I'm not, I'm not saying
that we can't do that.
We definitely need to do thatand talk about that and be in
this, but it's also a privilegeto age and it's a privilege to
(20:54):
get a wrinkle.
It's a privilege to have fiveextra pounds.
It's a privilege to, just beable to wake up in the morning
and.
Have your kids and see yourfamily and, and do all that
stuff.
'cause there's a lot of peoplewho don't get to do that.
And when I was looking throughthis photo album, I just, it
made me realize like all thesepeople, you know, all the things
that have happened in our livessince that, that day, you know
(21:16):
where people are at and whatthey're doing and what they've
gone through and, that they're,you know, some of them are still
here, some of them aren't.
And it's just like, I don'tknow, it was just a really,
emotional feeling of, I'mgrateful that I am still here
and that I get to deal withthings that sometimes don't feel
like they're fun.
(21:37):
You know, whether it be workstuff, health stuff, business
stuff, family stuff, whatever,that I am still able to be here
and deal with it.
That's just, just a reminder of,what's important and that we'll
get through this, and anyways, Ijust wanted to share that piece
because I thought that wasimportant.
(21:59):
Sometimes we feel like ourproblems are so bad, and then
you see something like that andyou realize, man, my problems
aren't bad at all.
Like that part, like that persondidn't even get to experience
life.
27 is way too young.
Forties too young, fifties tooyoung,?
And so, yeah, just to appreciateaging and not be so fucking hard
on ourselves.
God, like when did, when, why dowe feel like we have to be so
(22:20):
fucking perfect all the time?
Just try and be the best you canbe, whatever that is.
Wake up every day and.
Just do the best you can.
And sometimes that means you hitall your workouts and you eat
all your fucking calories andprotein, and you wear your
weighted best and you're doingthings like a champ.
And some weeks you're just not.
And some weeks you just don't.
And some weeks it's okay to justnot, some weeks it's okay to
(22:41):
just not do the thing and justgive yourself a fucking break,
And I think it's just sometimes.
We just need this little peptalk to say just enjoy your
life.
Don't be so fucking hard onyourself.
And I know that's how I feel.
Right now.
And I think that's the otherpart of this whole late
perimenopause into menopausephase that I'm really looking
(23:03):
forward to and I can feel myselfgetting there more and more each
day, which is the not giving ashit about so many things.
There was stuff even a year ago,two years ago, that I just spent
so much time and energy wastedtime and energy thinking about
and worrying about and whatever.
And I feel like today I'm justlike, why?
I wish I could go back and tellthat.
(23:23):
Version of me two years ago,don't waste so much time on
that.
It doesn't actually matter.
It doesn't matter.
You're gonna be fine,everything's gonna be fine.
And it's hard because we can'tsee it in the moment, but I
think this is part of theprivilege of getting older, is
having that ability to, not careso much about all the things
that just really don't matter.
(23:44):
And to be able to tune in to thethings that do.
And I am, I'm grateful for mylife and my family and my kids
and all the things.
And I try to do my best everyday.
I try to get my workouts in.
I got my weight to the best.
I'm wearing my eating, myprotein, I'm doing the things,
but I'm also having fun.
And I'm also just living mylife.
I'm also just trying to helpothers and I'm trying to do the
(24:05):
best job that I can.
I'm trying to help my clientsand it's not always perfect.
But I'm trying and I feel goodabout what I am doing, and if I
can, tweak things to make themeven better, I will.
If I can share something on herethat helps make your life
better, I'm always happy toshare, even though sometimes it
(24:25):
feels like I'm oversharing, butI think sometimes people like
that.
I know I do, I listen to a lotof podcasts who are like this,
where they, like I said,Shaylene Johnson's very much
like this, just talks, tells youwhat's happening and I
appreciate that because it helpsme feel normal.
So anyways, I think that's it.
That's all I wanna share.
(24:46):
For right now, it's a mishmashof things, I appreciate all the
people who listen to this.
I do this just because I likeit.
I'm not doing this for any otherreason other than because I feel
like there's somebody out therewho listens to this and is
feeling seen and heard and feelslike they can relate.
And if that helps you,, that'sthe reason I'm here.
(25:07):
And I would love to try and domore of these more often, and I
hope during the summer I can,because it's much easier to get
out and walk and talk.
When the weather's nice, itreally sucks when it's cold and
windy.
So hopefully there'll be moreepisodes coming closer together.
And it's also too, when I havesomething to share, right?
I wanna make sure that if I'mgonna spend time in your ear, I
(25:28):
wanna make it valuable and havesomething good to to share with
you.
they'll come at whatever pacethat is.
So that is all I think I havefor today.
I actually made notes.
Lemme just quickly look.
Hormone update testosterone.
Be persistent.
Yeah.
Oxytocin.
Yeah.
Aging is a privilege.
(25:48):
Yeah.
That's it.
All right everyone.
I hope that you're having agreat day and thank you guys for
being here.
If you guys have any questionsabout anything that I share on
this podcast or other podcasts,you can always send me a DM on
Instagram.
Probably the account that I'm onmore is the Shayna Rucker Art.
(26:08):
But I am also on, I am ShaynaWrecker on Instagram.
Either one of those accounts.
Send me a message.
I'd love to hear from you.
So I'll keep you posted.
I'll do another testosteroneupdate maybe in a couple months.
Let you know how it's going.
I I'm gonna see my doctor inMay, so we'll, I'm sure with
everything that's going on,she'll probably adjust things
for me.
(26:28):
I think I'm ready for anadjustment based on the fact
that my cycles are starting tobecome so far apart.
I think my body's trying to,it's trying to move to the next
level, so I think that's gonnarequire some sort of adjustment.
Anyways, it's really loud here,so I am gonna sign off.
(26:49):
I hope you guys have a greatday, and we'll talk to you soon.
Bye for now.