Ever felt like a quitter just because you changed your career path or switched your business focus? It's time we view these transformations not as acts of surrender but as brave steps towards reinventing ourselves. Just like Madonna, who is celebrated every time she reinvents her image, we need to shed the negative connotations associated with change and embrace it as a powerful push forward.
Drawing from my own personal experiences, in this episode I reflect on the liberation that comes from releasing what no longer serves you and making room for new growth. Don't miss this transformative discussion that promises to reshape your views on change and inspires you to welcome the process of reinvention.
(And yes that ☝🏼 was written with the help of AI)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome back to How It's Really Going
with Shayna Rekker.
It's been a little while sinceI've recorded an episode for you
all.
This particular topic has beenon my mind for a few weeks now
and I just haven't been able tosit down and record it, and
today I had a little extrapocket of time open up.
And so here we are, and it's areally important topic, and I'm
(00:22):
just going to give you a littleof the backstory on how this
came up for me and then we'lljust dive into it.
So a few weeks ago three orfour weeks ago I was doing a
Peloton workout and theparticular workout I was doing
that day was a themed workoutbased around Madonna, which was
all the music on that particularworkout was Madonna music And
(00:44):
the instructor who was runningthe workout was talking about
how Madonna has done such agreat job of reinventing herself
over the years.
In the 80s she was like pop artand then she's also done some
like a little bit of countrysort of mix in her music.
She's done like electric music,she's done like all kinds of
(01:04):
different things and she's evenphysically reinvented herself
over the years with her looksand things like that, and they
were talking about how awesomeit was that she had done that,
and what hit me was I was like,yeah, that is so cool that she's
been able to do that.
But why is it that when we lookat someone like Madonna and
when she changes gears, when shegoes from doing the pop music
(01:26):
in the 80s and then switchesinto the electronic kind of
style music or whatever that welook at that as like, wow,
that's amazing, she's reinventedherself.
But as entrepreneurs, when westart something and let's say
we're doing this thing, thatwe're doing like whether it's
coaching or we've started abusiness selling widgets or
whatever it is When we do it forso long, and then let's say we
(01:49):
either start losing interest or,for some reason, we just feel
like it's not working.
When we want to change gears,it feels like like I don't know
about you, but in and for me Ijust recently went through this
as I left coaching and switchedgears It feels like we're
quitters, it feels like we'regiving up, it feels almost like
it has a negative energy to itAnd why, you know like this is,
(02:13):
this is the thing.
And so when he was talkingabout Madonna reinventing
herself, i was like you knowwhat That's really what we're
doing.
Like you know, when I wentthrough this last, you know, six
months, eight months of my lifethinking about, you know,
leaving coaching, and you know Ijust wasn't feeling it was for
me Yes, partly was because I was, you know, struggling a little
bit to make it work, part of itwas because I just didn't love,
(02:35):
you know, having to marketmyself on social media And part
of it was just because I wasjust feeling like I was done and
I was ready for a change.
And so you know the feelingsthat come up around that, that
came up for me around that waslike, oh my gosh, am I quitting?
You know, like people alwayssay don't quit before payday and
shit like that, and it's likeam I giving up too soon?
(02:56):
Did I give this enough?
Like you know.
And we start to go through thiswhole like thing in our mind
that we feel like this negativeenergy around, like, oh, if I do
this, i'm a quitter.
And what if it is just thatwe're done with that thing?
What if it's just time for achange?
What if it's time for us tojust reinvent ourselves into
something else?
And we're not quitting, it'sjust we are done with that phase
(03:20):
and we are ready to move into adifferent, you know, phase in
our life, just like Madonna doesover and over and over again in
her life.
And so I just I really don'tknow how else to sort of say
this besides sort of what'scoming through right now,
because I just keep getting thisstrong feeling of wanting to
talk about this, because I knowso many people who have started
(03:43):
different businesses over theyears, because, as I've been an
entrepreneur since way back in2010,.
Because here's the thing in thenetwork marketing industry, this
is also relevant.
How many times do people joinnetwork marketing teams and then
they leave and everybody's like, oh, don't quit, don't be a
quitter.
This is a thing you got to.
Give it your all.
You're a lifer, all thesethings that we're told that
(04:04):
we're supposed to do.
But what if we do those thingsand it's great for a while, but
then it doesn't feel goodanymore or just doesn't feel
like something you want to do.
Why can't it be looked at asreinventing ourselves into our
next phase of our lives versusbeing a quitter?
I just think we have to reWhat's the word.
(04:27):
We have to rejig, basicallywhat it means to switch gears in
your life and not look at itfrom a standpoint of that you
don't have staying power andthat you're a quitter and all
that kind of stuff, and look atit from a standpoint of it's
just time for you to move intoyour next level.
It's time for you to reinventyourself.
When I heard him say that, itjust really made me feel.
(04:50):
When I was thinking aboutMadonna, i'm saying isn't it
amazing how she reinventedherself into all these different
things?
for this phase that I'm in rightnow, where I'm in literally in
the middle of reinventing myself, i have no idea exactly what it
looks like, but what I did knowwas what I didn't want in my
life, what I did, what I couldfeel was the things that didn't
(05:11):
feel good for me anymore, or thethings that just didn't feel
like they were working for meanymore.
The process of reinventingyourself isn't something like
all of a sudden you just go oh,i don't want to do this anymore,
i want to do this, and you knowexactly what you're doing.
That's not how it is for meright now.
For me, it's like I know Idon't want to do this anymore.
I'm not 100% sure what it isthat I want to do?
(05:32):
going forward, like sure,there's some ideas and there's
some things that I'm reallyenjoying right now, but what
does that look like from acareer standpoint or whatever?
I don't know, like I don't knowRight now.
I've got multiple different jobsthat I'm doing.
I work in the salon part-time.
I do websites part-time.
I'm doing art part-time.
I'm managing a couple of myclients' social media accounts
(05:54):
part-time.
I have my hands in multipledifferent things because I don't
really know what my nextreinvention is going to be.
To be honest, i'm not puttingany pressure on myself to try
and figure it out.
I'm just doing what feels goodin the moment and just sort of
letting it unfold.
I think that's another part ofthis whole thing that I'm
(06:15):
talking about is that sometimeswe commit to things and we
invest in things and we're toldlike you got to give it enough
time and all stuff.
I do believe that.
I do believe that there is adifference between if you love
something and you're doing itand you love it, and maybe it's
not working just yet, but youstill love it, but you're not
(06:35):
seeing the results you want,then give it more time.
I always think that it's aboutthe way you feel about the thing
?
Because I've had people come tome you guys.
I've had lots of people, lotsof conversations with people
who've come to me and said I'veseen that you're switching gears
and that you're leavingcoaching.
I think that's amazing.
How did you know that this wasright for you?
(06:58):
I've been thinking about thistoo, if I should leave this
thing that I'm doing, but I'mnot really sure.
My answer to that is how do youfeel about the work that you're
doing?
If you're loving the work thatyou're doing, if you're loving
everything about it, but maybeyou're just not getting the
results right now, then I wouldsay that that's a sign that you
(07:20):
want to keep going and you wantto keep moving forward, because
it's the feeling For me.
I loved working with my clients,but I didn't love marketing
myself as a coach.
I was starting to get weirdfeelings about the coaching
industry.
There were just too many little, i would say, red flag feelings
that I was having that wastelling me that it was time to
switch gears.
I wasn't loving the process ofbuilding that business like I
(07:44):
used to when I first started it.
For me, that was a reallystrong indication that it was
time for me to reinvent myself,much like I did.
I went from being a graphicdesigner and corporate,
reinvented myself into a networkmarketer, reinvented myself
into an online coach.
Now I don't know where my nextreinvention is going.
(08:06):
Right now it feels like art andstuff, but I'm also enjoying
doing this digital work for myclients and building websites.
It's also fun.
I'm trying not to put too muchpressure on myself to figure it
all out and just allow things tounfold and see where they go.
And the funny thing is is thatin doing that, i was really
(08:27):
struggling in my coachingbusiness for the last six months
.
Before like the six monthsprior to just kind of shutting
it all down, i was strugglingfinancially in that business And
since making the decision toclose that down and just do this
part-time job at the salon andjust sort of play with doing
websites for people and justsort of figuring it out, i've
actually earned more income inthe last three months, just sort
(08:51):
of surrendering to what'scoming in front of me and doing
these odd sort of jobs.
Then I did in the past sixmonths of coaching And I don't
think that that is just acoincidence.
I think that that is because Ireleased some restrictive energy
or I released some sort ofheavy, tight energy that I was
carrying as a coach.
(09:12):
I released that and it was theright thing for me, even though
I didn't have all the answers,and it made space for other
things to come through.
I don't I mean, i'm notsuper-duper, total energetic law
of attraction, any kind ofperson I used to be.
There's a lot of things that Idoubt about that industry but or
(09:33):
about that sort of methodology,i guess you could say.
But I do believe in and Ibelieve this because I've
experienced this multiple timesin the energy of releasing
what's not serving you to allowfor more of what does serve you,
to come in And likeenergetically and I'm certain
that's what happened And insteadof looking at releasing
(09:57):
coaching as me quitting thecoaching industry because I
guarantee you, there's a lot ofpeople out there who looked at
what I'm doing and said, oh,she's quitting.
It got too hard, she couldn't doit, so she's quitting, she's
giving up too soon, she didn't,you know, whatever.
There's a million and onethings I can ensure.
People are saying about it, butat the same time, it doesn't
matter what anybody else thinksit's time for me, like I'm
(10:19):
looking, i'm going inward andgoing.
Is this right for me?
It doesn't feel right for meanymore, so it's time for me to
let it go and figure out what'snext and not worry about what
anyone else is thinking.
And you know, with that beingsaid, one of the coaches I used
to work with and I've seen othercoaches do this as well,
business coaches is they talkabout the longevity of sticking
(10:42):
with it and staying.
You know staying in it and youknow taking radical
responsibility for your businessand never quitting and not
giving up.
And that's the only way tosucceed in all that kind of
language.
And the only person thatlanguage serves is the person
who's getting paid to be thebusiness coach, because that
kind of language around thecoaching industry is making
(11:05):
people feel bad for wanting tomake changes or leave a coaching
space.
And it serves the coach becausethey're programming you to
never give up, to always stickwith it, so that you can
continue paying for them andtheir services, and that you
know.
And so, to be honest, I thinkthat that language is actually
damaging, because there arepeople out there who aren't
(11:27):
feeling it anymore, who don'twant to do this anymore, who've
given it their all, but itdoesn't feel good, it doesn't
feel right And maybe they'reready to try something else and
reinvent themselves.
And instead of saying, hey,listen, if it's not working for
you, you've got to do what'sright for you, people are like,
oh well, you're giving up,you're quitting, you're all
these things.
And I don't believe that to betrue.
I believe that we know, like Isaid, it's a gut feeling that
(11:51):
you know when it's time forsomething else, when it's time
for a change, and we have tochange the narrative around that
.
You know it's one thing to sayif you love something and it's
just maybe not working yet,that's you know.
If you love it and you don'twant to give up on it, that
feeling is like, okay, we'llkeep going, keep trying.
But if you know in your gutthat you are done with something
(12:14):
, i'm telling you you've got tolisten to that.
If you don't listen to it, itwill keep nattering at you until
you do listen to it.
Because that's really whathappened with me.
I probably started thinkingabout leaving coaching about six
to eight months before Iactually did it And instead I
kept trying to push, i kepttrying to hang in there, i kept
trying to take radicalresponsibility and leadership in
(12:36):
my business and really turnthings around for myself.
But I knew in the back of mygut that I was getting to the
point where I was done with itAnd that I forced it, which is
probably what created the issuesin my business, because I was
trying to force something thatjust wasn't working for me
anymore, and the minute that Ireleased it, i like everything
(12:59):
started changing for me.
And so you have to just reallytrust your gut and trust your
instincts around what's rightfor you, and don't let anyone
your coach or anybody, yourfamily, nobody tell you that
you're a quitter because you'regiving up on something that just
is no longer serving you.
You're not quitting.
(13:20):
You're reinventing yourselfinto the next level of whatever
that is for you, and don't feellike you have to have the answer
Yes, you probably will have todo something intermediate, like
I did.
Like I took a part-time job andjust started shifting the way
that I was marketing myselfinstead of being a business
coach.
Now I can do your website foryou kind of thing, but so you
(13:43):
might have to do something inthe interim while you're
figuring it out, and there's noshame in that.
No stories Like if you need toget a job or do whatever.
You do it.
And while you're in thatsurrender I call it the
surrender, like the surrenderspace, and you just surrender to
what's coming up for you andwhat's coming to you, you'll
(14:04):
figure it out, you'll get theanswers you need and you have to
trust in that.
There's a really great book byMichael Singer called The
Surrender Experiment and it's anincredible book.
It's his story about how hesurrendered to some of the
things that were coming to himand how it completely shifted
his life.
And I think about that bookoften in the space that I'm in
right now, because there arethings that are coming to me
(14:28):
where old me or me six monthsago would have been like, no,
i'm not gonna do that, i'm notinterested in that.
And now I'm like you know what?
Sure, let's give it a shot.
And I'm trying things and I'mexperimenting and I'm seeing
what feels good and what feelsright.
And if something doesn't feelright anymore, it's time to
release it and let it go andjust trust in the process.
(14:49):
And you're not a quitter,you're not giving up and you are
not any of those things Youhave to do.
What's right for you Always,and first and foremost is always
what's right for you.
Make your decisions around thatgut feeling and don't let
anyone tell you or make you feelanything other than you're
(15:11):
doing what's right for you.
And if anybody else has anopinion on that, that's their
opinion and it's not yourbusiness kind of thing.
Because if Madonna can reinventherself over and over again, we
can reinvent ourselves.
And nobody calls Madonna aquitter because she stopped
doing pop music like she did inthe 80s.
You know she was just doingwhat she felt was, you know, fun
and good for her in that time.
(15:31):
So the same can go for you.
So that's what I wanted to say.
I'm sure there's a lot morethat could be said on this topic
, but the main thing is is thatwe are allowed to reinvent
ourselves.
You are not quitting if you aredone with something in your
life.
You are just releasing what'sno longer working and
reinventing yourself intowhatever's next.
(15:52):
And if you don't know what isnext, just surrender to what
feels good in the moment and seewhat happens.
And I know that's worked reallywell for me.
It's not, i will say it's notbeen easy, because your ego will
get in the way in some of thesethings, you know, when you go
(16:12):
from, you know, as an identity,as an online coach, or you know,
i remember I went through thisreally when I was in network
marketing.
You know, leaving networkmarketing was a huge ego below
for me, because it was like Iwas a very successful network
marketer, i was known in thatspace, you know.
And when it's when you wannaleave something, even when it's
(16:32):
successful because I left thatbusiness when it was successful,
It wasn't that it wasstruggling, it was just it
wasn't for me anymore My ego hadstruggled because it was like
my identity was attached tobeing a network marketer.
And when it was time for me toleave, i did struggle a little
bit with kind of who was I?
you know?
and that's when I started as anonline coach and had to kind of
(16:54):
work through that.
And so you might have some ofthose egoic struggles of going
from, hey, i'm this and now I'mdoing this, like it doesn't feel
right, in the sense that yourego's like, wait, you're taking
a job at a salon, you've neverbeen a receptionist before, why
would you do that?
But in my gut it was kind oflike no, do it, it's gonna be
fun, let's just see what happens, and so I just followed my gut,
(17:17):
not my ego, and if you can dothat, it will really help lead
you to some.
I believe it'll lead you tosome fun and interesting things
in your life.
But that's what I wanted toshare, just a quickie for you
guys.
But if you are in that space offeeling like you're ready for a
change, but you maybe feel likeyou might be quote unquote
quitting on something, justchange that narrative.
(17:39):
You're not quitting, you'rejust reinventing yourself into
the next level of you, whateverthat looks like, and the only
person at the end of the daythat really you need to care
about what they think about whatyou're doing is you, nobody
else.
So make those decisions fromthat gut place and don't worry
about what everybody else thinks.
I've really learned to let goof a lot of that as I get older,
(18:00):
but it is something that wejust have to let go of and we
just have to trust our guts,cause the last thing you wanna
do is look back at the end ofyour life and regret not making
the changes or not doing thethings that you really wanted to
do, and we only get one shot atthis.
So, anyways, that's my two centsfor today.
Hopefully, i'll have some moreepisodes for you sooner than
(18:22):
later, but I just try to dothese on the side when I can and
when I have something justrelevant to say.
So, all right, that's it for me, guys.
I hope you are well.
We'll talk to you soon.
Bye for now.
Hey everyone, welcome back to How It's Really Going
with Shayna Rekker.
It's been a little while sinceI've recorded an episode for you
all.
This particular topic has beenon my mind for a few weeks now
and I just haven't been able tosit down and record it, and
today I had a little extrapocket of time open up.
And so here we are, and it's areally important topic, and I'm
(00:22):
just going to give you a littleof the backstory on how this
came up for me and then we'lljust dive into it.
So a few weeks ago three orfour weeks ago I was doing a
Peloton workout and theparticular workout I was doing
that day was a themed workoutbased around Madonna, which was
all the music on that particularworkout was Madonna music And
(00:44):
the instructor who was runningthe workout was talking about
how Madonna has done such agreat job of reinventing herself
over the years.
In the 80s she was like pop artand then she's also done some
like a little bit of countrysort of mix in her music.
She's done like electric music,she's done like all kinds of
(01:04):
different things and she's evenphysically reinvented herself
over the years with her looksand things like that, and they
were talking about how awesomeit was that she had done that,
and what hit me was I was like,yeah, that is so cool that she's
been able to do that.
But why is it that when we lookat someone like Madonna and
when she changes gears, when shegoes from doing the pop music
(01:26):
in the 80s and then switchesinto the electronic kind of
style music or whatever that welook at that as like, wow,
that's amazing, she's reinventedherself.
But as entrepreneurs, when westart something and let's say
we're doing this thing, thatwe're doing like whether it's
coaching or we've started abusiness selling widgets or
whatever it is When we do it forso long, and then let's say we
(01:49):
either start losing interest or,for some reason, we just feel
like it's not working.
When we want to change gears,it feels like like I don't know
about you, but in and for me Ijust recently went through this
as I left coaching and switchedgears It feels like we're
quitters, it feels like we'regiving up, it feels almost like
it has a negative energy to itAnd why, you know like this is,
(02:13):
this is the thing.
And so when he was talkingabout Madonna reinventing
herself, i was like you knowwhat That's really what we're
doing.
Like you know, when I wentthrough this last, you know, six
months, eight months of my lifethinking about, you know,
leaving coaching, and you know Ijust wasn't feeling it was for
me Yes, partly was because I was, you know, struggling a little
bit to make it work, part of itwas because I just didn't love,
(02:35):
you know, having to marketmyself on social media And part
of it was just because I wasjust feeling like I was done and
I was ready for a change.
And so you know the feelingsthat come up around that, that
came up for me around that waslike, oh my gosh, am I quitting?
You know, like people alwayssay don't quit before payday and
shit like that, and it's likeam I giving up too soon?
(02:56):
Did I give this enough?
Like you know.
And we start to go through thiswhole like thing in our mind
that we feel like this negativeenergy around, like, oh, if I do
this, i'm a quitter.
And what if it is just thatwe're done with that thing?
What if it's just time for achange?
What if it's time for us tojust reinvent ourselves into
something else?
And we're not quitting, it'sjust we are done with that phase
(03:20):
and we are ready to move into adifferent, you know, phase in
our life, just like Madonna doesover and over and over again in
her life.
And so I just I really don'tknow how else to sort of say
this besides sort of what'scoming through right now,
because I just keep getting thisstrong feeling of wanting to
talk about this, because I knowso many people who have started
(03:43):
different businesses over theyears, because, as I've been an
entrepreneur since way back in2010,.
Because here's the thing in thenetwork marketing industry, this
is also relevant.
How many times do people joinnetwork marketing teams and then
they leave and everybody's like, oh, don't quit, don't be a
quitter.
This is a thing you got to.
Give it your all.
You're a lifer, all thesethings that we're told that
(04:04):
we're supposed to do.
But what if we do those thingsand it's great for a while, but
then it doesn't feel goodanymore or just doesn't feel
like something you want to do.
Why can't it be looked at asreinventing ourselves into our
next phase of our lives versusbeing a quitter?
I just think we have to reWhat's the word.
(04:27):
We have to rejig, basicallywhat it means to switch gears in
your life and not look at itfrom a standpoint of that you
don't have staying power andthat you're a quitter and all
that kind of stuff, and look atit from a standpoint of it's
just time for you to move intoyour next level.
It's time for you to reinventyourself.
When I heard him say that, itjust really made me feel.
(04:50):
When I was thinking aboutMadonna, i'm saying isn't it
amazing how she reinventedherself into all these different
things?
for this phase that I'm in rightnow, where I'm in literally in
the middle of reinventing myself, i have no idea exactly what it
looks like, but what I did knowwas what I didn't want in my
life, what I did, what I couldfeel was the things that didn't
(05:11):
feel good for me anymore, or thethings that just didn't feel
like they were working for meanymore.
The process of reinventingyourself isn't something like
all of a sudden you just go oh,i don't want to do this anymore,
i want to do this, and you knowexactly what you're doing.
That's not how it is for meright now.
For me, it's like I know Idon't want to do this anymore.
I'm not 100% sure what it isthat I want to do?
(05:32):
going forward, like sure,there's some ideas and there's
some things that I'm reallyenjoying right now, but what
does that look like from acareer standpoint or whatever?
I don't know, like I don't knowRight now.
I've got multiple different jobsthat I'm doing.
I work in the salon part-time.
I do websites part-time.
I'm doing art part-time.
I'm managing a couple of myclients' social media accounts
(05:54):
part-time.
I have my hands in multipledifferent things because I don't
really know what my nextreinvention is going to be.
To be honest, i'm not puttingany pressure on myself to try
and figure it out.
I'm just doing what feels goodin the moment and just sort of
letting it unfold.
I think that's another part ofthis whole thing that I'm
(06:15):
talking about is that sometimeswe commit to things and we
invest in things and we're toldlike you got to give it enough
time and all stuff.
I do believe that.
I do believe that there is adifference between if you love
something and you're doing itand you love it, and maybe it's
not working just yet, but youstill love it, but you're not
(06:35):
seeing the results you want,then give it more time.
I always think that it's aboutthe way you feel about the thing
?
Because I've had people come tome you guys.
I've had lots of people, lotsof conversations with people
who've come to me and said I'veseen that you're switching gears
and that you're leavingcoaching.
I think that's amazing.
How did you know that this wasright for you?
(06:58):
I've been thinking about thistoo, if I should leave this
thing that I'm doing, but I'mnot really sure.
My answer to that is how do youfeel about the work that you're
doing?
If you're loving the work thatyou're doing, if you're loving
everything about it, but maybeyou're just not getting the
results right now, then I wouldsay that that's a sign that you
(07:20):
want to keep going and you wantto keep moving forward, because
it's the feeling For me.
I loved working with my clients,but I didn't love marketing
myself as a coach.
I was starting to get weirdfeelings about the coaching
industry.
There were just too many little, i would say, red flag feelings
that I was having that wastelling me that it was time to
switch gears.
I wasn't loving the process ofbuilding that business like I
(07:44):
used to when I first started it.
For me, that was a reallystrong indication that it was
time for me to reinvent myself,much like I did.
I went from being a graphicdesigner and corporate,
reinvented myself into a networkmarketer, reinvented myself
into an online coach.
Now I don't know where my nextreinvention is going.
(08:06):
Right now it feels like art andstuff, but I'm also enjoying
doing this digital work for myclients and building websites.
It's also fun.
I'm trying not to put too muchpressure on myself to figure it
all out and just allow things tounfold and see where they go.
And the funny thing is is thatin doing that, i was really
(08:27):
struggling in my coachingbusiness for the last six months
.
Before like the six monthsprior to just kind of shutting
it all down, i was strugglingfinancially in that business And
since making the decision toclose that down and just do this
part-time job at the salon andjust sort of play with doing
websites for people and justsort of figuring it out, i've
actually earned more income inthe last three months, just sort
(08:51):
of surrendering to what'scoming in front of me and doing
these odd sort of jobs.
Then I did in the past sixmonths of coaching And I don't
think that that is just acoincidence.
I think that that is because Ireleased some restrictive energy
or I released some sort ofheavy, tight energy that I was
carrying as a coach.
(09:12):
I released that and it was theright thing for me, even though
I didn't have all the answers,and it made space for other
things to come through.
I don't I mean, i'm notsuper-duper, total energetic law
of attraction, any kind ofperson I used to be.
There's a lot of things that Idoubt about that industry but or
(09:33):
about that sort of methodology,i guess you could say.
But I do believe in and Ibelieve this because I've
experienced this multiple timesin the energy of releasing
what's not serving you to allowfor more of what does serve you,
to come in And likeenergetically and I'm certain
that's what happened And insteadof looking at releasing
(09:57):
coaching as me quitting thecoaching industry because I
guarantee you, there's a lot ofpeople out there who looked at
what I'm doing and said, oh,she's quitting.
It got too hard, she couldn't doit, so she's quitting, she's
giving up too soon, she didn't,you know, whatever.
There's a million and onethings I can ensure.
People are saying about it, butat the same time, it doesn't
matter what anybody else thinksit's time for me, like I'm
(10:19):
looking, i'm going inward andgoing.
Is this right for me?
It doesn't feel right for meanymore, so it's time for me to
let it go and figure out what'snext and not worry about what
anyone else is thinking.
And you know, with that beingsaid, one of the coaches I used
to work with and I've seen othercoaches do this as well,
business coaches is they talkabout the longevity of sticking
(10:42):
with it and staying.
You know staying in it and youknow taking radical
responsibility for your businessand never quitting and not
giving up.
And that's the only way tosucceed in all that kind of
language.
And the only person thatlanguage serves is the person
who's getting paid to be thebusiness coach, because that
kind of language around thecoaching industry is making
(11:05):
people feel bad for wanting tomake changes or leave a coaching
space.
And it serves the coach becausethey're programming you to
never give up, to always stickwith it, so that you can
continue paying for them andtheir services, and that you
know.
And so, to be honest, I thinkthat that language is actually
damaging, because there arepeople out there who aren't
(11:27):
feeling it anymore, who don'twant to do this anymore, who've
given it their all, but itdoesn't feel good, it doesn't
feel right And maybe they'reready to try something else and
reinvent themselves.
And instead of saying, hey,listen, if it's not working for
you, you've got to do what'sright for you, people are like,
oh well, you're giving up,you're quitting, you're all
these things.
And I don't believe that to betrue.
I believe that we know, like Isaid, it's a gut feeling that
(11:51):
you know when it's time forsomething else, when it's time
for a change, and we have tochange the narrative around that
.
You know it's one thing to sayif you love something and it's
just maybe not working yet,that's you know.
If you love it and you don'twant to give up on it, that
feeling is like, okay, we'llkeep going, keep trying.
But if you know in your gutthat you are done with something
(12:14):
, i'm telling you you've got tolisten to that.
If you don't listen to it, itwill keep nattering at you until
you do listen to it.
Because that's really whathappened with me.
I probably started thinkingabout leaving coaching about six
to eight months before Iactually did it And instead I
kept trying to push, i kepttrying to hang in there, i kept
trying to take radicalresponsibility and leadership in
(12:36):
my business and really turnthings around for myself.
But I knew in the back of mygut that I was getting to the
point where I was done with itAnd that I forced it, which is
probably what created the issuesin my business, because I was
trying to force something thatjust wasn't working for me
anymore, and the minute that Ireleased it, i like everything
(12:59):
started changing for me.
And so you have to just reallytrust your gut and trust your
instincts around what's rightfor you, and don't let anyone
your coach or anybody, yourfamily, nobody tell you that
you're a quitter because you'regiving up on something that just
is no longer serving you.
You're not quitting.
(13:20):
You're reinventing yourselfinto the next level of whatever
that is for you, and don't feellike you have to have the answer
Yes, you probably will have todo something intermediate, like
I did.
Like I took a part-time job andjust started shifting the way
that I was marketing myselfinstead of being a business
coach.
Now I can do your website foryou kind of thing, but so you
(13:43):
might have to do something inthe interim while you're
figuring it out, and there's noshame in that.
No stories Like if you need toget a job or do whatever.
You do it.
And while you're in thatsurrender I call it the
surrender, like the surrenderspace, and you just surrender to
what's coming up for you andwhat's coming to you, you'll
(14:04):
figure it out, you'll get theanswers you need and you have to
trust in that.
There's a really great book byMichael Singer called The
Surrender Experiment and it's anincredible book.
It's his story about how hesurrendered to some of the
things that were coming to himand how it completely shifted
his life.
And I think about that bookoften in the space that I'm in
right now, because there arethings that are coming to me
(14:28):
where old me or me six monthsago would have been like, no,
i'm not gonna do that, i'm notinterested in that.
And now I'm like you know what?
Sure, let's give it a shot.
And I'm trying things and I'mexperimenting and I'm seeing
what feels good and what feelsright.
And if something doesn't feelright anymore, it's time to
release it and let it go andjust trust in the process.
(14:49):
And you're not a quitter,you're not giving up and you are
not any of those things Youhave to do.
What's right for you Always,and first and foremost is always
what's right for you.
Make your decisions around thatgut feeling and don't let
anyone tell you or make you feelanything other than you're
(15:11):
doing what's right for you.
And if anybody else has anopinion on that, that's their
opinion and it's not yourbusiness kind of thing.
Because if Madonna can reinventherself over and over again, we
can reinvent ourselves.
And nobody calls Madonna aquitter because she stopped
doing pop music like she did inthe 80s.
You know she was just doingwhat she felt was, you know, fun
and good for her in that time.
(15:31):
So the same can go for you.
So that's what I wanted to say.
I'm sure there's a lot morethat could be said on this topic
, but the main thing is is thatwe are allowed to reinvent
ourselves.
You are not quitting if you aredone with something in your
life.
You are just releasing what'sno longer working and
reinventing yourself intowhatever's next.
(15:52):
And if you don't know what isnext, just surrender to what
feels good in the moment and seewhat happens.
And I know that's worked reallywell for me.
It's not, i will say it's notbeen easy, because your ego will
get in the way in some of thesethings, you know, when you go
(16:12):
from, you know, as an identity,as an online coach, or you know,
i remember I went through thisreally when I was in network
marketing.
You know, leaving networkmarketing was a huge ego below
for me, because it was like Iwas a very successful network
marketer, i was known in thatspace, you know.
And when it's when you wannaleave something, even when it's
(16:32):
successful because I left thatbusiness when it was successful,
It wasn't that it wasstruggling, it was just it
wasn't for me anymore My ego hadstruggled because it was like
my identity was attached tobeing a network marketer.
And when it was time for me toleave, i did struggle a little
bit with kind of who was I?
you know?
and that's when I started as anonline coach and had to kind of
(16:54):
work through that.
And so you might have some ofthose egoic struggles of going
from, hey, i'm this and now I'mdoing this, like it doesn't feel
right, in the sense that yourego's like, wait, you're taking
a job at a salon, you've neverbeen a receptionist before, why
would you do that?
But in my gut it was kind oflike no, do it, it's gonna be
fun, let's just see what happens, and so I just followed my gut,
(17:17):
not my ego, and if you can dothat, it will really help lead
you to some.
I believe it'll lead you tosome fun and interesting things
in your life.
But that's what I wanted toshare, just a quickie for you
guys.
But if you are in that space offeeling like you're ready for a
change, but you maybe feel likeyou might be quote unquote
quitting on something, justchange that narrative.
(17:39):
You're not quitting, you'rejust reinventing yourself into
the next level of you, whateverthat looks like, and the only
person at the end of the daythat really you need to care
about what they think about whatyou're doing is you, nobody
else.
So make those decisions fromthat gut place and don't worry
about what everybody else thinks.
I've really learned to let goof a lot of that as I get older,
(18:00):
but it is something that wejust have to let go of and we
just have to trust our guts,cause the last thing you wanna
do is look back at the end ofyour life and regret not making
the changes or not doing thethings that you really wanted to
do, and we only get one shot atthis.
So, anyways, that's my two centsfor today.
Hopefully, i'll have some moreepisodes for you sooner than
(18:22):
later, but I just try to dothese on the side when I can and
when I have something justrelevant to say.
So, all right, that's it for me, guys.
I hope you are well.
We'll talk to you soon.
Bye for now.
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