220: The Master Lover Method w/ James Marshall

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to The Leverage podcast where we give you men's dating
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Cramer, a former Finance Guy, online poker Pro and highly
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(00:22):
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Now let's dive into this week's content.
Yo guys were back with a man whoprobably doesn't need an

(01:28):
introduction because he's that At much of a boss in the
manosphere and the men's personal development Niche.
You could say, but I'll introduce him.
Anyways, is for you guys who don't know him and that is James
Marshall. Who is a longtime friend of
mine. I think we've been buddies
since, like, 2007-2008. We met at, I'm embarrassed to,
admit the pickup, artist World Summit, believe it, or not, back

(01:51):
in LA. And we were both given the award
for the least creepy, dude, who was teaching, they're not
actually, but Hey man. I've you know we bonded because
we both kind of came from the same sort of mentality where as
a lot of these old school pickupguys were very tactical.
And and you know a little sleazybut James has been coaching

(02:13):
Forever. At least as long as I have 15
plus years, maybe twenty plus years.
He was the owner of the natural Lifestyles tons of followers and
I'm shocked. We haven't actually, maybe you
came on the podcast many, many years ago.
But I think this is the first time you came On the podcast,
has the new version. So James, welcome.
Thanks for coming. Thank you Robbie.

(02:36):
It's a pleasure to be here with you and you should, I don't
think you should say. You're embarrassed that we met
at the Pua Summit or whatever itwas back.
Then I look back on those days with a kind of fond Nostalgia
of, though, of the early days ofpick up when it was, it was, it
was absolutely a circus in a freak show, but it was kind of a

(02:56):
sincere time in the sense that it was before it got all
political. Or, you know, before all the
gender Wars culture wars stuff, it was really just dudes, who
couldn't get chicks trying to get chicks, anyway, they could.
And, and then all the weird and wonderful characters that came
out of that are I feel? Yeah, I remember those days with

(03:16):
fond longing. Yeah, that's a better way to
frame it for stirring because yeah, those were in a lot of
ways. You know, better times you could
argue the now, how politicized everything's become and how
touching everything become because yeah, it's like there.
Wasn't a lot out there and it wasn't taboo to call people pick
up artist that was actually kindof like a cool even like you
tell a girl you gonna take a barstick.

(03:38):
Oh wow that's cool like pick up chicks awesome but now uh one
exactly bitch one. So yeah.
But how did you get you know into it?
Give us your story. Well, I've lived too many lives
like you and yeah, I did start and I think 2006.
So we've been doing this, roughly the same amount of time
right now. Yeah, we're weird doubt.

(03:58):
Whether dinosaurs of the This tree seriously and some of the
lost some of the last men standing to, right?
So yeah, my background before I got into becoming a dating
coach, which I don't call myselfa pickup artist anymore.
Although I certainly did it in the past.
Yeah I mean I was like a hippie Kung Fu spiritual guy through my

(04:20):
20s. I became a funk reggae disco
musician in my later. In my mid-20s and played in
bands for a long long time. Actually I did a whole bunch of
stuff to avoid having any kind of real job.
Was it was a massage therapist and that.
Yeah, mess up our shal arts, teacher and some occasional
model and actor and one time porn star.

(04:42):
Wow. Yeah.
Did you do you didn't know that either was 2006.
Yeah. Really like a real like produced
porn? No shit.
Oh yeah. Like it was, it was a highlight
first. I will, that's nice.
That's nice. As well.
It's like when you what do I expect?

(05:04):
Oh why don't ya? Like I remember I was my buddy
who was an actor you know an actual act.
He would receive these like audition notices from some
agency or whatever. And one day he says Jamie.
I think this one's for you and Icome over to the computer and it
says it was female, erotica, Rock'n'Roll, erotica searching

(05:29):
for Slim long haired, dude? Who's willing to fuck on camera?
Something like that. You know?
And I'm like that does sound like me so I called up the
director. Who is this?
Big lesbian and told her that I'm the man for the job and she
said, well, you better come overthen, and I came over to rode my
bicycle over to her, apartment came in, and read the lines.

(05:50):
And then and then I said you want to see the package.
And she said, well yes. Then I showed her the package
and she told me I was hired. So yeah, I actually I actually
performed Australia's. I think only feminist or female
erotica, rock and roll, Road, movie, that was ever filmed.
Someone must have put a bunch ofmoney into it because it was a
proper production. It was two months, it had full

(06:12):
sets, you know, we used the likesome of the iconic rock and roll
venues, and Melbourne, and go had like a band.
I was, I was like a rock star inthe in them in the movie and
like had full audiences, like itwas huge and whoever put money
into it. I lost it all because it was a
terrible movie and it was too much movie to be porn and too

(06:36):
much pain to be movie. Yeah.
So they like they had a whole script whole story which was a
bad story. So I was kind of those like
that, I was like who's this for?Because it's like the you know,
you wouldn't want to actually watch it as a movie and you get
frustrated watching it as a porno.
But it's out there guys can, if you want to figure it out, you
want to go and check it out. It's on, it's on the internet
forever. So, that was the day that I,

(06:57):
when I signed the contract on that, where I like, Commitment
to never entering politics or having any kind of position in
society where I where I needed to have a good reputation.
You gave that up on that day on that.
I knew it to I knew I don't likeand with this, right?
Fuck you to society once you cross that line into porn,

(07:19):
especially like, you know, but so you never did any more.
I take it. Now, I got a lot of offers after
that, from German from guy, German porn companies, they say
they do. They'd found it.
They were like, you would like you to appear in our next movie,
which is called he likes he or whatever.
And so know that I didn't take any of those offers but that is

(07:40):
a big money. We're getting it.
Apparently, the gay ones. They pay extra for.
Yeah, gay for play. Was it paid gay for pay?
Yep. Yep.
Well you know if I ever get desperate we'll see how you thin
is. Oh yeah laughter well ever since
yeah let's let's hope we don't need to go back to that but
yeah, since then Yes. So in around 2005 or so I

(08:02):
started, I mean, I was I was a nerdy guy growing up.
I was a flute playing weirdo who's into ancient history and
all sorts of kind of nerdy obscure interests in in an
Australian town, where that was not.
Okay. And where I was beaten up
regularly for being a bit of a fucking poofter, which is
Australian for gay and so, you know, it wasn't great with the

(08:24):
ladies growing up. I did have some girlfriends now
and then, but I got obsessed with with Reduction in the early
days I was, I was obviously aware of the mystery method and
the kind of La scene, but that stuff didn't work in Australia.
If it ever did work, I don't know.
Because, you know, Australians are just bit more.
No bullshit and you go up and start trying to tell a girl, a

(08:46):
complex story and reader read her something.
She's like, what the fuck you doing, mate?
You want to get fucking late or not real quick.
The interrupt I got tight a bootcamp in Sydney in.
Seven when I was working from pickup 101 before I branched out
on my own and I never got less love than I did in Australia.

(09:11):
Because just as you said, I camein with all the banter lines,
all of this and all of that, I must have approached.
I think I counted three hundred and fifty girls that week.
I got labeled one. Not so cute girl and that's a
lot of reps. Yeah, that is a lot of reps and
she was probably cute by a Alienstandards.

(09:32):
She was like maybe this tight. Just like, just like to take the
compliment. Okay.
I'm trying to think wait Australian Senate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we're not, not we're known
for our good-looking men but less.
So, for a good-looking ladies, Iwould say, ah, yeah.
So yeah, like a, you know, I gotinto the early pickup scene in

(09:53):
Melbourne which was when back inthe Forum days on the layers and
quickly realized that I was already better than most of the
guys that were there and I stepped into a kind of
leadership role because at leastI was approaching, you know, I
didn't know much, but most of the guys were too scared to do
that. So I started, you know, going
who wants to go out and some guys will, all right.
And I'm like, why don't you go and talk to that chick?
And I'll talk to this one and sogradually sort of stepped into a

(10:17):
surrogate kind of coaching role early on and then yeah.
And another guy who's in the scene, approached me and said,
let's fucking start a business and call it the natural and
teaching natural game, and see if we can get paid to get laid.
And that was our business model business.
Plan written on the back of a napkin 50%.
Each bad idea guys. Never never never start a

(10:37):
contract with 50% each with a guy.
You met a month ago did that? So, you know, and I'd be okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. We've all met we can talk about
some of the business mistakes guys are interested because
we've probably made them all. But yeah.
So I started like teaching weekend workshops in Melbourne
in the early days and then my kind of big Break was when I

(11:02):
came. What was was because of our
mutual friend and God of the pickup industry.
Vince K. He like I was speaking at this
crappy little conference, you know, was basically the back of
a pub in Melbourne and for some reason, Vince Vince was there
like he'd been invited and he turned up and there was 20 guys,
20 guys, in the back of a pub and Vince K was there and he saw

(11:26):
my speech and then afterwards, it came over and said James, I
really liked your style your natural type of stuff.
Hello. I'd like to invite you to the
POS Summit in Los Angeles, California.
And I was like, whoa. Oh my God, Bravo for that
fucking perfect impersonation. That was unbelievable.
You're really good at voices by the way.
Thanks, it's yeah. It's one of my, it's one of my
hobbies and Vince I've, you know, I've been working on my

(11:49):
Vince for quite a while and likeseriously like I I do have a lot
of respect for and love for Vince K actually like, you know,
I know he Lon if you look at these videos they can look quite
I don't know what the adjective is over-the-top, let's say, but
he's a quite a sincere, man, andand a purist in terms of

(12:10):
Seduction like, you know, he's he's in his old school on the
street kind of guy. And yeah.
So we became buddies kind of oddcouple buddies and I came over
to POA Summit and I think that was 2010 and that's where I met
you. Yeah.
I was that 2010. Yeah, I guess that was a bit
later. Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, yeah Vince, yeah, because you owe me Definitely.

(12:32):
He's got his Persona, which is awesome.
But yeah, he's a very, you know,there's great, I've haven't ya,
you know, I've been following what he's been up to lately, but
never a dull moment with him whenever you if you're ever
bored. Just just look up Vince's,
latest case compilation, and they just awesome.
I just love them. Could the pounding she techno

(12:53):
and just like, you know, like make out, after make out, he
loves those, make it and then hestudents going Vince has got
like 4000 make outs and Lead. They love that, he loves the
make out. What one, little one little
Vince story like I was passing through l.a. on the way down to
Peru to go and do Ayahuasca of all things.
And so I was there for a day anda sir, I actually had a meeting

(13:16):
with the guys that did the VH1 pickup thing because they were
thinking of, you know, thinking of maybe that I might be there.
The next guy to do a reality show because I was maybe a bit
more palatable to the midday soccer, mum kind of audience and
of course nothing came out of it.
We went had our l a business lunch and I was like let's do A
deal. And then never heard from him
again. But for the course, I was there.

(13:37):
And yeah. And so I contacted been.
So, I was down in Venice Venice,and he was in Hollywood and he's
like, Janice, I would love to see you.
I said, okay cool, man, I'll catch a taxi out to Hollywood
and I'll come and see you and you know, that was a hundred
bucks and for me back then that was a lot of money.
And so I caught the caught the taxi all the way out to
Hollywood and Vince said, yeah, that's right.

(13:57):
He was teaching a program come and meet him.
So I arrived and there was Vince10 guys and immediately is like
jam. Sam's still great to see you.
Maybe you could take these guys and he just like Palm it off,
half his students to me. And suddenly I found myself
coaching for free on the streetsand after you know, I was like,
oh, whatever fucking whatever. So yeah, cool right, dude, let's
go. So when we finished the session,

(14:21):
you know we get together. I'm like hey Vince let's go have
a drink. Let's hang out catch up so we're
walking down the street and thenthese two Women walked by and
they were very large and I wouldsay not they were they were not
the type of guy girls that you guys want to talk to or any of
us want to talk to. I was just like, you know, I
wouldn't even just let's just say they weren't hot and I'm,

(14:43):
you know, I'm trying to have a conversation with Vince and he
goes, I'll be right back and he just goes off hits on these two
girls, put his arm around, both of them and walks off him and
then I never see him again. It's like over like that man.
Loves pick up. Thank you.
Got to meet a makeup, maybe two.Do I dare?
I better go to make out. Yeah, so yeah.
So and since so, since those early days, you know, I had some

(15:05):
videos that went semi viral. I moved, I moved the company
from Well Company. Let's say the the Proto version
of the company early days moved over to Europe in nothing 2012
because I'd started running whatare the Euro tour which is like
a traveling ten day bootcamp andand then things really started
kicking off. Once I move to Europe, we get we

(15:26):
get along with the Germans and the austrians.
In the space and the Norwegians and stuff.
They seem to like our kind of Aussie style.
So yeah, and since then I've been Bouncing Around the Globe
like you coaching, God knows howmany programs branched out, not
just not, just a game natural style pick up, which I guess is
kind of my bread and butter, butwe moved into a lot of inner

(15:48):
game, stuff meditation. And we started running like,
more specially courses. Like, we have a retreat on my
farm, in Portugal, where we do awhole bunch of meditation.
Rewilding and psychedelics. And I also run probably the
worlds. Only live seven-day sex course

(16:09):
with real women, where you get to learn about everything from
Tantra through to BDSM. So that's something.
I've been focusing in on in The Last 5 Years.
Let's say as I become well as asI've moved more into the
sexuality training parts of thisworld and and also have a farm
in Portugal where I grow olive trees and I'm building a replica

(16:30):
of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon because I mean to all
sorts of other shit aside from checks as well.
Farmers fucking legit. I would call it.
I mean I feel like calling it a farm at least in the u.s. kind
of like doesn't do it justice. You know.
Arm has like this. You think of cows and rows of
crops. Right?
It's I don't know. I feel like we're like a
compound. It's a Wonderland.

(16:52):
I wonder if it's yeah it is my, it's my own little world.
So yeah, it has a walled compound with a 200 year old
house and then yeah, forests andrivers.
And it's a really, really beautiful place and with As
someone who has an extraordinarily chaotic life.
I've for my mental health, I need to go and spend time in
nature and chill out because often I'm doing something very

(17:16):
weird and extreme so I like to balance things out or try to
anyway. Well, it's cool that you've, you
know, you've Incorporated so many different aspects into your
coaching and I guess technically, the first
collaboration we like wasn't official collaboration or
anything but like You guys were running your Elite program in

(17:38):
New York, right? And you know, you contacted me
saying you guys wanted to do some Social Circle stuff in New
York. I had the model houses there and
that sort of going on and and wecollab because it was a very
cool thing. I'm not sure if you guys so did
it. But it was like your most
advanced students and it was like four events.
One was the sex Workshop. I think write another one.

(18:00):
Yep. Was like an inner game.
Be like some of the islands best.
But, yes, yes, because I watchedinvolved, right?
And then one was like, the thingwe did in New York, which is
kind of like the Social Circle bottles and models and Club
thing. Yeah.
And then from that, I ended up kind of getting that invite to

(18:24):
do that Maldives yacht party. So of course, I invited you guys
first and we had a lot of fun inthe following, you know, seven
to nine months of Raging on yachts and Villas and nurse.
Yes, yes. Oh, that reminds me.
I there was one like blog I saw once or someone sent me, which

(18:45):
was like, a hit piece on un may actually and they used as their
evidence. You remember, we were on the
yacht and those, you know, 20 girls were doing a photo shoot
and then we were like, oh, I'm going to jump in that.
So, like, you know, we jump one of us jumped in and took some
photos, and then you jumped in and took some photos.
And then I use that as evidence to, like, see He saying yacht

(19:06):
saying girls, and I'm like, yeah, we're on the same holiday
together. Yeah, we're Bobby was just over
there and then he was like, yeah, I'll take a photo too.
Where's the conspiracy here, dudes?
Yeah, we were both partying together on the same yacht with
the same girls. Yes, we were guilty guilty as
charged and yes, you'll I would friends do that.

(19:26):
That's so weird. Yeah, I guess in the tub, yes,
Community. That's that's frowned on, you
know, Yeah, that was there well and in some ways I kind of miss
that kind of jealousy and like in fighting as well because
remember, when like all the fights were just about who's
opener was right. You know, whether direct or
indirect or natural or canned and everyone was having their

(19:48):
debates about that. And that was, that was kind of
sweet a days before it became all about global politics.
And yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I don't know how your
memory is these days because I've lived so many lives and
because I'm a, you know, an old-school Stoner as well.
Like, when you brought that up, I was like, oh yeah, of course
we did all that stuff as well. Yeah, it's a because yeah, I

(20:11):
mean, Robbie you you were absolutely the OG when it came
to that to the bottles and models world.
When me and, you know, me and Liam and Alex were first kind of
hanging out with you. In that scene that was like that
was quite worth sharing for us. And for me in terms of like
seeing because you know, all of us were Street approach and

(20:34):
Night game, you know, cold approach guys and we did that
all the time and any girl that we haven't met was going to be
because we rolled up to us somewhere and did some said some
stuff. And so yeah you were the you
were the Pioneer getting involved with certain characters
in the East that that I don't know can we say which probably

(20:57):
shouldn't say is now I've had you know to cover.
Yeah well actually he's all overit's all over the sun right?
He's got actually calls. Raised, there are so you don't
retaliate problems, the guy who directed in in Dubai with the
but Squad 18, naked girls on a balcony, which I drove him to
the airport for I said, you know, doing what you like to do.

(21:19):
Like all the naked girls everywhere.
Photographs, that's fun but I wouldn't recommend it in Dubai
especially you being a and future.
They love it over there. They don't give a shit.
They're like, you know, they're all doing it.
And I'm like, yeah, okay, be careful.
Well, and then a few days later,you know, if he's in jail.
Yeah, he's right. They are all doing it but

(21:40):
they're doing it on the inside of the window.
Not the outside of the window, right?
Yeah. Yeah, amazing.
What a, what a one-of-a-kind. So yeah, it was it was you who
kind of led us down the yellow brick road into this different
type of like seduction, Social Circle.

(22:01):
Hi, you know, like high coveted value with Owen.
And there was, it was interestedreally interesting because it
was a very steep learning curve because it was such a different
type of game, right? And I remember when we were
first on, when I went with you first time to the Maldives and I
did you wouldn't even remember this because it was just it was

(22:22):
just us hanging on the beach butwe were we're in the water and
you we were talking to that tallredheaded girl.
BF BF OC, but full of cum. Ah, yes, right.
Do you like that? I remember that.
That's amazing the violin, right?

(22:44):
Right. The violinist.
Yes. BFF and bathe and, and will,
because you were. Because the thing was, I was
just floundering. Like, even though I was like,
maybe you can't see it. I was just like trying to cool
among everything's fine. I was like, what do Is Robbie
saying he's seems to be like there's something about what's

(23:05):
going on that. I don't quite get yet.
And even though I'd been in the industry for so long and I
picked up, God knows how many women and all sorts of
scenarios. There was something very
different about the dynamic, where there's a lot of, you
know, there's a lot of high value women in the space and
pick up as we would have known it in the old days doesn't work,
you know, it just simply doesn'twork.

(23:25):
And I remember actually I tried because like I've been told
that, you know, don't approach the girls.
Don't try. And you know don't try and Run
game on them. Don't try an Escalade and you
know when I first got on the boat I was like yeah but yeah
but I'm gonna make it at all. You can just put and so and so I
remember going over to the like just go fuck it.
I walked over one girl and I said, hey, how you doing?
Just like fine. I said, so I literally said

(23:48):
this. So if you've been to the
Maldives before and she just looked at me and gave me that
look of, like, do not talk to mefor the rest of the trip, and I
was like, just met him. I'm like, I am 100% blown out
from this. This one.
Okay, there's something I need to learn here.
So yeah, it was like and by there by day of three or four,
I'd figured it out. But yeah, that that really gave

(24:09):
me a different level of of Seduction understanding and
like, help, I guess helped me kind of step into a different
type of archetype like the man that is chosen.
Like the man that as opposed to the man that is chasing, which
is a, which is quite advanced ina way, like, it's It's not it's

(24:30):
not just a case of like being ina club and doing nothing and
acting cool and the chicks goingto come over there.
But yeah, it was that was there was you know definitely changed
my life that first trip. So yeah, thank you for being the
example of it because as I was watching, you just been chill
talk and kind of nonsense like, you know, nothing gaming,

(24:51):
nothing, no qualifying, a challenging, not really even
flirting, just being like reallychill and in the moment because
Cuz you know, I thought about instantly as I'd ask that
questions, that girl, I realizedthat that girl and no one here
wants to talk about anything outside of this place because
any question where it's like, what do you like to do?

(25:12):
It's like we're doing it. Here we are like this is what we
you know this is where we are sharing any, this experience
right now which is a peak experience and in order for it
to be sexy you just have to settle into it Ray.
So yeah. That was that was some cool
learnings. Yeah.
Yeah. It's an interesting insight and
you know I have to thank You guys for like I mean I think

(25:33):
most of those trips wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for
basically that unofficial collaboration.
You know, we did was like the tally was like, Hey like if you
can find some guys, we can do this.
I'm like, oh shit. Who do I know that's gonna oh,
duh it up. Liam.
Yeah. That was a lot of fun and just

(25:54):
yeah, crazy learning because I mean I had been exposed to it a
bit before just kind of doing the bottle.
Service stuff and like just understanding like when you show
up to a table full of like eightgirls and to promoters and you
try to run game on the girls, they're just like, what are you
doing? Like we don't want to talk to
you, it's allowed nightclub. But when you're just like chill
and enjoying and just like talking to the guys, the ratio

(26:15):
just kind of does the work for you at the end of the day.
Yeah, but I think you had the record, maybe the record for on
one of those trips of. Like every girl I don't even
want to call it a record, is just like every girl would like
somehow get really jealous. Leave your room and be like, I
don't know what just happened tobe sexually, but I just had like

(26:35):
a sexual Revolution or Awakening.
Like constantly he Rio when you stayed with me in New York.
I remember literally hearing spanking and like sounds coming
from your room for like it had to have been over an hour.
I'm sitting down on the couch with Liam and I'm like, is he
still spanking? Like what is going on in there?
Like, you know, like whatever you are doing on the sexual end

(26:59):
of things? I was like next next next level
and I know you put a shitload oflike energy and time and
resources into that. How did you kind of like like
when did you really start focusing on that?
And how do you feel like that? I guess impacted just your
overall sort of game? Because I guess my question is

(27:22):
I'm more of a statement. I tend to are a little bit on
the lazier side when it comes tothat stuff like for me having to
like, like I would be down to study more.
I've studied it a lot but Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if, you know, if I have a question but like maybe
I'm just lazy or maybe I don't see some of the benefits, or

(27:44):
maybe I'm already pretty Advanced.
Anyways, that's from a personal level but I think from a basic
level most guys, even to get to where I am, Which is far below
where you are an extreme level of Mastery.
So if you could speak to that. Sure, I mean, yeah, I'm a six
nerd and I've been, I mean, I'vebeen studying it, you know, all

(28:06):
my life since I lost my virginity.
Unity. But I really, I think like,
there was a number of partners that popped up in my life who
were particularly experimental. And I feel quite grateful to
some of the earlier women in my life who were like quite open
about their sexuality, could explain what they liked and
didn't like and helped me to open channels of communication

(28:28):
because I think that's like if we were to look at what is the
if I had to pick a number, one problem that happens between men
and women sexually. Its lack of communication and I
don't mean that in some fluffy way.
I mean that in a very, very practical way of like being able
to speak to. This is what I want.
This is what I don't want. This is how I like it.

(28:49):
You know, here's something I wanted to try and a lot of women
don't feel comfortable to express those kinds of things
because of fear of judgment or thinking that they their desires
might be weird or unusual. And so, with some of those early
Partners who were who were very expressive, I learnt ways of
just opening up dialogue. And so, I think very early on, I

(29:09):
started to have very honest and raw conversations with, with not
every sexual partner, but most, and I had a, I had a real desire
to to learn and to understand the intricacies of female
sexuality. And it was that parents me very
early on that. There was not one way to do it,
right? So you couldn't just learn, get
on the internet, learn five, thefive, best sex tips or whatever.

(29:33):
Learn a bit of squirting. A bit of spanking and do these
five things. And then you can be a master the
The Nuance of it in the subtletyand the variation between each
woman and the same woman on a different day.
For example, is huge and that's what always fascinated me.
Like, it was that little bit of difference.
It was the surprises that we're going to come out with each
woman and I started becoming really addicted to or really

(29:56):
into finding out what was below the surface for her and I guess,
you know, maybe partially was ego at the time but it was like
I wanted to be the best she'd ever had.
But I wanted to find out her secrets.
And you know, most women do havesexual Secrets, they have taboos
and they have fantasies desires that they don't speak of or that

(30:17):
they're worried about or they feel ashamed of.
But they're, but they're boilingunder the surface and I learned
to hold a space which was completely non judgmental.
And that's that would be the other thing.
I think that often holds me in back sexually is that they have
levels of whether it's unconscious or conscious levels
of judgement on women, you know that if they're in debt, if they
want to have Anal sex or they like spanking or want to dress

(30:40):
up or something that that makes her something that makes her
weird or slight or easy or broken or something making
assumptions about what someone'sdesire says about their
character which is almost alwaysincorrect.
Right? So yeah I just really appreciate
ask myself to to this art form and I think yeah I don't have

(31:03):
like I'm lazy and quite a lot ofways of my life but you know I
very rarely get up. 11 a.m. and you know like I'm not like a
grinder. I'm not like one of those.
I mean I am in short bursts if Ineed to but I'm not one of those
guys like Alex who I respect is but you know they get up at a
certain time and they fucking punch through 19 different tasks
and everything is optimized. I'm not really like that but

(31:25):
when it comes to sex that's something I do seem to have a
quite a discipline about and I am not satisfied to have sex
with a woman and for her not to walk away or stumble away.
Way having a had a life-changingevent so, you know, I did I have
done a bunch of formal study, like I've studied in I did at an

(31:47):
sure teachers training. So I wouldn't say I'm a
high-level Tantra operator, but I know how to do it and I had a
coach women through it and I became friends with a
professional Australia's highestpaid male dominant, right?
So the opposite of a dominatrix,the male is a dominant who gets
paid by women to do her. Vic nasty, things to them all

(32:09):
day, and fulfill their fantasiesand hanging out with him because
he was also like deeply into spirituality, very deep,
understanding of female psychology.
So hang out with him, going to some going to fetish parties.
And, and watching him at work, Ipicked up a lot.
In terms of the skill sets, particularly when it comes to
impact and dominance and role play and pushing women into

(32:32):
their extremes of pleasure. And so, yeah, over time I just
Blended these subtle like Eastern Arts with the more
intense extreme Kinkel BDSM arts.
And yeah when I'm with a new woman or every every woman that
I'm with I really have a sense of like I'm going to figure you
out and probably fairly quickly,but I'm going to figure you out

(32:54):
and but I'm not going to come atit with a sense of arrogance.
Like because I have so much experience and I've done this a
million times before I got you. I know what I know what you
need. I still like I think it's really
important to come with a beginner's mind and Humility.
Probably to most things in life but especially to sex because
yeah, she, she is a new mystery box that I'm opening.

(33:16):
And even though there's patterns, even though there's
certainly things that often workwith most women.
Like, for example, I would say most women like, and this lace a
done, well, like having their hair, pulled being choked, and
being spanked, not all women, some women hate having their
hair touched because you've got grotty hands and they just went
to the salon, some women feel claustrophobic.

(33:37):
With a hand around the neck. I've never really had anyone
say, they don't like spanking, but you know, it's like most
women will like those things butthey'll be so much variation
into in terms of the pressure, the amount the, the tone of it,
right? See whether I'm playfully
spanking her or whether I'm going with a real or
authoritarian nasty kind of dominant Vibe.
So in order to figure that stuffout, you do need to be a you do

(34:00):
need to drop your your ego and arrogance and ask questions
communicate. Yeah.
I think that you willing to where do you belong to And the
bit on because of course, there's all the techniques and
mindset and the how to that you pick up along the way.
But it's that ability to really be curious about the girl that

(34:22):
you're with and, you know, feel into her and see how she's
different because it's so true. It's like every woman is so
significantly. Different like, obviously a lot
of the same techniques in the same distance.
Same that are going to lead to pleasure.
But it's how you approach that and just taking that sort of,
like you said, curious mindset into it versus the like, oh

(34:45):
yeah. I know how to get you off which
is so arrogant and such a turn-off for girls.
I think that's the right word. Yeah, I'll give you a, give you
a guys, a little tip might be useful.
So if you're, let's say you're, you want to improve the way that
you're touching a girl's pussy, right?
So, it's a girl, you don't know that well and you and you want
to learn about how she likes to be touched.

(35:07):
One thing I found is, if you aska woman, is this good, whatever
it is, she'll probably just say yes, right, right.
So, because if the answer is no,then she has to worry about well
what's house. How is he going to respond?
Has his ego going to respond, ifI give him a - then I'm going to
have to try to explain it to himand it's easier just to fake it

(35:28):
and wait to see if the next guys.
Any better women? I'm sorry ladies.
So because there's a lot of verybad sex out there for women.
It's, you know, I've intervieweddozens and hundreds of women
actually because, you know, for my products and for my personal
life, I often do and I often do post-sex debriefs and I talk to

(35:49):
them about what other guys do. Oh, I want to know, and there's
a lot of complaints, but primarily it's around this kind
of thing where they're doing something that they think
they're, it's right. But there, but it's wrong, and
they're not able to communicate.So if let's say in that example,
rather than asking you, is it good.
It's better to say, Is this the right spot or should I move in

(36:15):
any direction? Right, or show me the pressure
that works for you, right? So I might, let's say, I've got
she might put her hand on a pussy and I'll put my hand over
the top of it, so that I can andthen I'll say, touch your pussy.
You like you like it, so I can feel it.
So, in that way, she gets to instruct me without needing to
say yes or no. I'm only really giving her

(36:36):
options to make it better, right?
So, I'm going down on our and I'll say to her.
Let me know if you need more pressure or less, or you need me
to change the direction and I want and I want you to give me
feedback. So giving permission to the
woman to give you feedback is a big deal and really only giving
your options for it to improve as opposed to a binary.
That one I found is most likely to get for her.

(37:00):
For most likely for her to be able to give you an honest
answer, which case you can actually learn.
Yeah, that's super important. So it's just to recap.
It's not giving her like tell mewhat you like.
It's a very sort of show me withyour hand, but also I'm going to

(37:22):
kind of do it at the same time or she's gonna I'm trying to
find a language. It's like not like she's
coaching you but she's just moreyour kind of giving her a small
subset of options. Right?
You know I'm writing our to guide me, right?
Yeah guarding guarding her to guide me so that.

(37:42):
Yeah and like sometimes I will pre curse things by saying a
statement like I really want to understand your body and so once
you to feel totally free to giveme feedback at any time, if
there's something you really like Let me know and I'll do
more. You know, there's something you
don't like tap me or say or say the safe word I won't be
offended, right? So giving like that, that kind

(38:04):
of thing is really important because the I've talked to lots
of women about this. And I say, okay do you try and
give feedback and they and they so commonly say yeah I try but
then the guy says gets pissed off or you know I heard girls
say that guys. Literally say I know I know what
I'm doing, you just relax, you know, that kind of thing because
I think often what's happened there is that the guy didn't

(38:26):
know what he was. He's doing with his girlfriend,
the last girlfriend he had. And so he knows the moves that
work for her and he's like, cool.
I got this women thing. I got this pussy thing and then
he thinks he can use the same. You know, exactly the same
technique. Same pressure, same speed on
every other girl and has a sexual arrogance about it as
opposed to the sexual Explorer. Who's like cool.
New pussy. Let's give her permission to

(38:47):
open up and explain to me whatever she wants.
And I will, and I will be happy and I will happily hear the
feedback and operate from it. Are there some girls wear Just
kind of get the sense that they don't want to communicate at all
or there ever times where you just feel like to maybe
uncomfortable or awkward to generate any conversation
because I feel like that comes up when like it's a really

(39:11):
drunken hookup or it's like, youknow, maybe like just one of
these more like sort of spur-of-the-moment situations
where communication. Yeah, it seems a little bit out
of place. What do you have any advice for
that? Sort of situation?
ER yeah, sure. Because look I mean when I was
out and I, my first dozen Partners or whatever.

(39:32):
I was a silent ninja in bed because I thought like, because
I thought from watching porn I was like it's so annoying.
Hearing this guy grunting and getting a running commentary
through the whole thing. It sounds so cheesy, that's
lame. I'm not going to do that, right?
So, so instead I was just stoic and silent and I think back to
the poor girls that had to deal with that.

(39:53):
Like, what is this guy doing back there?
Enjoy. Yeah.
So, you know I went from that toagain, it was a it was a female
partner, kind of opened things up because I had a girlfriend
who just talked a lot in bed andwoods and would say words like
cock and pussy, right? She would say, I want your cock

(40:13):
and take my pussy. And that kind of stuff.
I was like, oh, that's fucking hot.
Yeah, I'm going to start saying some stuff and so yeah.
As coming as a guy that will this wasn't a natural thing to
do. I started to had dialogue and
discussion into This into the bedroom, and for the, for the
online course that I'm putting together at the moment.
I really looked into this to andthought about how do I break

(40:36):
down the, I hate the concept of dirty talk and communication
into into chunks that men can really like, you know, absorb
and understand. So what I would say if you're
looking at kind of introducing verbal, play into your bedroom
because it can be intimidating at first to think.
Well, I need to do dirty talk, which means I need to create
some erotic poetry to turn the girl on with my fancy words or

(40:58):
something, right? No you don't need to do that.
Well, it's so good. Just interrupt you for one
second. It's so good to have that
distinction because it can, it can really be confusing.
Because one hand is like, wait, I'm supposed to figure out what
she wants. So I'm coming at it from like a
scientific brain, which is so different than, like the dirty
talk, like sort of more like masculine animalistic thing.

(41:19):
And, guys, I think have a struggle integrating that
together over also, please consider, right?
So that, yeah, I mean, the basics that I would give to guys
has to break things down into these components, the First
thing to operate with is voice commands, right?
So actually giving orders, let'ssay to the woman and then on the

(41:40):
flip side of that is rewards. So it means this relates quiet.
There's a, there's quite a lot of correlation across over to
the idea of qualification in seduction, right?
So, if we are qualifying a womanin seduction, we asked her about
equality, she has, and instead of immediately validating or for
it. So I'm like, okay, so what's

(42:01):
your life's plan? I don't know who wouldn't ask.
She was like a big question so you know what's important to you
and she says they're shopping orwhatever and you're like, wow
that's so amazing. You like shopping?
I can't believe a girl like shopping and I reward her for a
very low level of investment. That's not qualifying.
Whereas if I said well yeah I know all girls like shopping but
what else is there something else?

(42:21):
Now there's a challenge and she if she's invested she's going to
have to dig deeper and give me something more.
Right. And then I might reward air as
she says well yeah I'm also you know rhythmic gymnast and I'm
saving the whales this summer. Then I'll be like, well, okay,
so there's much more to you thanjust shopping.
That's awesome. Cool.
Which there was a little bit of an egg in there, as well, I
guess, so if we then cross that over into into the bedroom

(42:47):
because most men's exciting havemost men, but a lot of men's
experience sexually is coming from a basically, from a
Beggar's frame, especially this can happen in longer term
relationships where, you know, aguy wants a blowjob from his
girlfriend. And so, Does he do?
He kind of begs hint you know, even even like winges about it

(43:08):
was like I'll come on baby. You know what you know like that
kind of begging frame which is doesn't turn the woman on and
she can't respect you if you're begging her second ago.
So what they say, anytime your bullshit, desire it kills it,
right? Absolutely.
Yes because it's either it's either ignited or it's not we
can't like discuss it and turn it on by they looking at like

(43:29):
well let's look at the facts here, you know, I Eat your pussy
last week, which is only fair that.
So now that doesn't work. So I'm very dominant in the
bedroom, right? I've studied BDSM, I am a
dominant but I'm not the one that you imagine not the one
covered in leather with the whipwho's like barking orders and

(43:50):
beating someone although I certainly can do that, the
leather? Yeah, I would do that but what
I'm more on the sensual dominantside of things so taking command
of a woman Can be a very sexy sensual and delicate thing or it
could be a rough thing. But the way that I start
introducing that is through simple voice commands and this

(44:12):
is a really good way to start introducing.
Just talking at all in the bedroom come over here, you
know, look at me, turn around, stick your ass out, get on the
bed, spread your legs like, so many of the questions that guys
asked me like, how do I get a girl to?
And the answer is tell her to doit, right?
Whatever they're about to say because I remember that we know
when I was The first couple of girls, I was having sex with as

(44:35):
a teenager missionary and thinking.
So there's that doggy thing. How can I get her into that
position? Because it was like, it seems
like a mathematical problem because right now she's on her
back and I wanted to get on Annie's, that's complicated.
Yeah. Until the day when I just kind
of like went turn around and shedid I was like oh okay just say

(44:56):
it so that's that's that's a simple one that guys can take
away in terms of Simple directions and commands, and
make sure they have a downwards tonality at the end, right?
So if I said come over here, turn around.
Could you shake your tits set? Doesn't sound like I deserve it

(45:17):
or that I know what I'm doing sounds.
I'm confident come over here. Turn around, get on your knees.
I'd say you do that with that kind of downward tonality that's
very assertive and it's clear what you want and then what I'll
do and you can keep this as a basic formulas I Don't think of
it as like a rule, but I would go command command reward or
command command command reward. Yeah.

(45:39):
So, come on, come here, turn around.
Stick your ass out. That peach is perfect, I need to
eat it, right? So it's like I'm encouraging her
putting a little pressure on herand then when she does something
I like then Ira water and it is really important to reward it
because if I just give our orders and there's no release
and no appreciation, then she's like why am I doing this, right?

(46:02):
And if I give her Ward's every single time, I tell it to do
something then it doesn't have any power but stacking that
where it's like pressure pressure pressure good girl
reward turns women on and the they're just a final point.
There is that it flips that power Dynamic where as opposed
to the like, could I have or mayplease miss or, you know, trying

(46:28):
to, like, get something out of her.
Instead, I'm the one who's in charge and I will do things
like, you know, hold her by the hair.
Hold my cock in your mouth and say, say please and most
beautiful women have never said,please for anything right?
Let alone a dick white. Yeah.

(46:49):
So that but but but the psychological effect that has on
a woman, if you know, in the right context is that she's now
begging a man for her dick, his dick which means this must be a
very special man, right? Like it's she her For you, her
attraction for you goes through the roof because that is the
opposite of what most men are doing.
So that's a good one. You can take away, that's kind

(47:10):
of simple to start playing with is giving simple clear commands
and only wanted a time don't like list five at a time because
she'll get confused, simple commands one at a time and then
giving her specific rewards about how she's turned you on or
how amazing she looks, or how great that feels or whatever.
Massively. Heightens things in the bedroom

(47:31):
and that is a simple way to openup.
Line of communication. I love that because it's very
applicable and it's it kind of gets into the psychology at the
same time. That's an awesome tip.
Yeah, nice what? So when it comes to in this
might be a tough question to answer, but there's always this

(47:52):
sort of trade off between pleasing yourself and being
selfish and pleasing her. I was always joking with Other
fellow Jewish guys, you're half-jewish writer, we can put a
Jewish gorgeous, okay? The joke is that Jewish guys are
the best lovers because they're so interested in pleasing the

(48:14):
woman but on the downside is Ernie erotic about until they're
the least lazy selfish lovers. But in the on the flip side
there is something to be said about just really kind of, you
know, being selfish and expressing your own desire and
what you want as long. Because that doesn't involve
being like a 30-second ninja Comer.

(48:37):
Hmm. Do you have any anything to say
about that because I feel like guys can get kind of messed up
in that whole sort of framework.Definitely, I've got a, I've got
a good model that might help explain this.
So there's this idea called The Wheel of exchange.
It's not my originally, my idea.It came from a, I think, from a
therapist looking at kind of relationship Dynamics between

(48:59):
people in general but it works really well as a model sexually.
So if we were to think of like acircle cut into four quadrants
and in one quadrant we had take now when I would ask what's the
opposite of take, you might think that it's give but it's
not the opposite of take is to allow, all right?

(49:20):
So if I wish to take something off somebody, and they let me
then they're they're they're allowing me to, you know, have
my desire fulfilled. So we have this.
So in these quadrants we have take And then on the opposite
side, we have allow in one of the other quadrants we have
give. So the opposite of give is to
receive. All right?

(49:40):
So it's not it's not take right?So if I'm you know, I give
someone a present and then they have the action of receiving and
feeling, you know, whatever nicefeelings.
They feel over that a good sexual relationship will kind of
cycle between these four quadrants like an unhealthy.
One where let's say there's a man for example who only takes

(50:01):
And so, you know, girl gets homefrom work.
He grabs by their hair bends, over the piano, rips up a skirt.
Fuck the shit out of it for three minutes and then goes off.
Now that would be a really, really hot thing to do from time
to time. I do that.
Because what is the woman get toexperience in that moment?
She gets tourist experience. Allowing the man's desire to

(50:22):
take. Take precedence, take control,
she gets to, you know, feel his beast and to see what he's like
when he's kind of Unleashed, right?
So then It's something that women tend to find really sexy
and really, you know, powerfullyarousing within a context within
context. And whenever I say any of this
stuff, I'm whenever I say women like it's not like the woman on
the street with some random stranger.

(50:44):
It's like in the in the context of consent and that, you know,
if she wants to be that, right? But so in that situation, if the
guy does that, you know, from time to time fucking hot.
But if that's what he does, every time, you know just
fucking throat fucks her and then falls asleep.
Then then there's a massive imbalance in the relationship so
she only gets to experience allowing right on the other

(51:06):
side. We have we have our good good
Jewish guy who's pleasing his lady the Mansion the bench.
So he you know he's always giving so that's and that's the
guy that always you know he readthat book or had the heard that
thing that you've got to make the woman come first every time
which is not true. Yeah, it's a good idea.

(51:26):
It's comes from a good place. It's good idea to try and make
your woman come, but you don't need to Make it come first every
time because then what happens is, I'm always giving I'm giving
and it puts the woman in the position where she only is
receiving and there's and often there's all this expectation
then because that guy is trying to get his gratification through

(51:47):
her through how much he's pleased her.
And she'll notice that after a sump number of sessions, where
are his always he always goes down on me for 30 minutes before
he has sex with me. He wants me to come.
Now, it's an expectation. Now, it's a The thing that I
have to do, kind of as a covert contract for his weird pleasure
or whatever and, and then it turns her off.
Right? Right.
So, you know that. So we have these kind of to two

(52:10):
sides of these unhealthy wheels of exchange, a good sexual
relationship will cycle between those.
So when it's time to take your woman, take your woman right?
When it's tight, when you wish to give, then give sincerely and
be aware that you want to have abalance of those things that
are. Okay, if you if you find these

(52:30):
two You are selfishly taking toomuch then you might want to
check yourself and go. All right, in order for both of
us to explore, you know, the totality of our sexuality, then
I should let her take sometimes,right?
And I've talked to girls and I've even drawn this for them
and showed them the thing. And I'm thinking one lover
recently, actually, because I was explaining it to her, and

(52:52):
she's like, well, what what could I do to take?
And I said you could rip down mypants and say, give me that
cock. My little fuck boy, whatever you
know, you could put, you could tell me to lie on the bed and
you could come and dance for me and tell me not to touch you,
right? So you're going to you're going
to take my frustration or whatever, you know.

(53:12):
And and just she suddenly just like everything opened up.
She's like, ah, wow, yes, yeah. There's all things that these
sorts of things I could take andso that was a girl who was
submissive in nature and you know, overall enjoyed the
preferred the dynamic where I'm in control I'm taking or leading
let's say she's He's receiving or allowing, but giving her that
opportunity and the encouragement to flip it.

(53:35):
Sometimes means meant that I gotto see this whole other thought
side of her sexuality that actually, she never really even
seen before as well. And it's fucking sexy to see a
woman step into a wildness. And to, you know, flip the
script and take you or tight, I hold you down and ride.
You like a pony or whatever. So yeah, like in terms of that
what you don't want to do is mixis mix them, right?

(53:57):
You don't want to be like pretending to give when we
actually you're trying to take which is which is the classic
nice guy, kind of covert contract and maybe I'll just
wrap up this point with the ideaof a blow job because the blow
job can be taken and it P can begiven and you can also allow it
and you can also receive it, right?

(54:18):
So like and even when, if withinthe same blow jobs, so many
options because yeah, you can have a thing where, you know,
she starts and she's doing her thing and I just holding her
head. Hair out of the way of like a
gentleman should. And right now.
She's giving, right? So she's doing her thing.
She's she's pleasing me. She's showing me her techniques

(54:38):
and and I'm receiving, right? Right.
And if I was to try to like grabahead and take control in that
moment when she's doesn't, that's not the spacious in.
She wants to actually show me what she's got or she wants to,
you know, do her best technique and whatever.
While she's trying to give, I'm trying to take then, it doesn't
really work, right? Whereas at some other point
maybe with even within the same.I'm blowjob or same session, you

(55:00):
know, I scooped up a hair and wrap it around my wrist and
then, you know, say, swallow cockman naughty little slut,
which is a nice thing to say. And now I'm taking the blow job
and now she gets to experience the allowing and that's the you
know where she's totally submitting and she's choking or
whatever. What she's getting off on the
fact that I'm getting off on taking her, right?

(55:22):
So you can start to see that even with the same physical
movements that they can be a very different tone or
different. For intention to those.
So, you want to just be kind of clear and clean about those
because don't feel ashamed to take in the right context
because women fucking love it. When their man takes them
because it shows that he is hungry and lusting.

(55:43):
After any car control himself and that, what does that mean?
About her means that she's fucking sexy, right?
No. She's a, she's a, she's a
totally, you know, irresistible sex object and I can't can't
stop myself. She wants to feel that for sure.
And she also, Who wants to feel the thing?
Where it's like lay down sweetie.
Spread your legs you relax now I'm going to please you don't

(56:06):
worry about anything right? So cool.
Now I'm in the giving space and she's receiving and in this way
everyone gets to experience the you know the full kind of
spectrum of their sexual desire.Well, that's a great model
because also as a guy you can immediately start to you know,
just ask yourself the question, which area am I comfortable?
And where am I uncomfortable andwhat are those points to kind of

(56:27):
lean in on like, oh Great and receiving or allowing.
But I'm not so great at taking or was giving.
Yeah, and yeah, the classic sortof nice guy I think is gonna
often fall into that those categories that you mentioned.
Yeah. And look, I understand that for
a lot of guys, the idea of taking can be synonymous with
abuse or, you know, just being being an abuser of some sort.

(56:52):
And, and that's understandable because I don't want guys to
think that to be a man that's able to take sexually.
Is that you don't care about theother person that you're using
them? I mean, you might be using them
in a play, you know, in in the context of a fantasy.
But like that there is still full respect or can totally be
full respect and care when you are you know, aggressively

(57:16):
taking a woman. And and I think well I know that
for a lot of guys because you know, I teach these live sex
classes with normal guys, like guys who are white collar
professionals, usually, who comein and they like cool.
I want to learn The sex stuff and then on day, whatever, three
or so, we move into spanking. I've seen this a number of times
where and we do live, spanking classes.

(57:38):
So we have the girls lined up. The dudes are there and we're
practicing which is those are the moments where I have that?
I step back and I go. What is my life Lander?
Yeah. How did this come about Bo and
create a new. Yeah, cool yeah.
Yeah, I was like what's night hippie musician at some point?
So yeah. And the end often.

(57:58):
Like at first you, the guys are like very tentative and and
confused and I've had a lot of guys say things like, am I doing
this? Because like just to have power
over her and she puts up with itbut something like that.
I'm like. Okay, right, we need to have a
talk about psychology, what's going on here, because there is
often misunderstandings about the difference between

(58:21):
consensual use of force and passion, and power.
And, you know, restraints and spanking and choking all that
kind of stuff. And And actual disrespectful,
violent abuse, even though sometimes if you walked in, on
the scene, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference great
because it may because it may look.
I mean, it is, can often be depends on the level of

(58:44):
extremeness that people want, but it can be quite rough.
But yeah, I think it's importantfor guys to like investigate as
you said to like where the areasthat where they might feel a
trigger or they're like not comfortable with that idea of
taking and what they think that It means right because you they
may well be misunderstanding females, you know, female sexual

(59:05):
psychology. And the reality is that I don't
know what the percentage is, butit's a lot of women.
And not just women, not women who've had sexual abuse or
whatever. It's just normal everyday from
every single demographic. And every age group, so many,
women love to be controlled in the bedroom to have to feel a
Man's force, and many, many of them like to have impact.

(59:28):
Right? So they like to be spanked.
Usually spanking is the you knowthe ubiquitous thing that most
people like others might like much harsher.
Use of Sting pain with crops andvloggers and whips and stuff.
But most girls really like spanking and it's not it's not
about abuse. It's not about hurting her.
It's really much more about having a psychological impact of

(59:51):
putting your into the present moment.
Shocking your out of a out of a thoughts, feeling the Man's
power and And that the sensations when they're, when
you're in a heightened sexual State, having Spanx is like,
actually sexually arousing because it sends shock waves
through the pelvis, into the pussy.
She gets to, you know, to feel the power.

(01:00:13):
It sounds nasty, it sounds kind of dangerous, but it's not
dangerous at all. So yeah, I think that's
something for guys to kind of take away to have a think about
to investigate, because it, I'veseen it be a major blockage for
a lot of guys that they don't seem to be out at.
They don't, they can't get through that barrier.
Because I feel like they don't want to be a bad person and I'm
telling you can be a still be a good respectful.

(01:00:33):
Nice. Dude.
That looks after his woman and give her a bit of a building
from time to time and she might need it and want it.
So what it looks crazy happens during these sex classes, I mean
you've told me offline. But yeah, right well so yeah.
So basically we run this seven day course.
We have six female trainers in avery open-minded fun, sexy girls

(01:00:58):
and then use Usually six students and myself and Shane
Matthews. And usually, one of the other
guys is assisting and we take like, its vast majority of it is
practical very little, very little Theory.
And so the guys we basically stack it and layer in such a way
that safe on day one, we start with some of the subtlest staff
in terms of tantric breathing ofreally tuning in with your

(01:01:20):
partner, syncing up your breathing and your body
movements because a lot of the time I've had these many
experiences like Back in the day, especially drunken hookups,
where it's kind of two people masturbating using each other's
bodies, banging slapping againsteach other in a not particularly
intimate or or kind of coordinated way.

(01:01:43):
So we start with this like, Attunement being able to do
simple things like, you know, just push a woman Down on a Bed
Gibbard, get between her legs but but to actually learn ways
to make that fluid to make that like a dance, right?
As opposed to, you know, to bitsof meats.
Slapping against each other. So we start with that kind of
stuff. We work through voice commands,

(01:02:04):
as I was explaining before, so we start to layer the actions
where the guys start with. Okay, how do I start to command
the woman with my voice and thenwe move into manhandling.
How do I start to command the woman who my body spinning
around throwing her on beds leading, in a way that feels
really comfortable and sexy and it starts building from there.
So by the time we get today, it's six or so.

(01:02:26):
We have one, one lady who Zyne. Who's very, very sexually open.
And and a voyeur like she reallygets off and having lots of
people watching her. So she loves this class and so
everyone puts on a rubber glove,and we go into my room and one
by one another, one of those moments of like what am I doing?
My mother would, I'm glad my mother doesn't use the internet

(01:02:49):
and then the guys practice, you know, we demo it practice
rubbing a pussy fingering squirting and so you know it's
very very A Hands-On and then also with anals, oh, sorry, hold
the thought on the, on the anal sex.
But the squirting thing is so interesting because that's how I
learned to make a woman Square. It was I was at a sex party and,

(01:03:13):
you know, me and my girlfriend at the time, like, you know,
hooked up with this other coupleand he would just, you know,
like when in there. But Bam, Bam, Bam, and likes you
squirting and I'm like, what thefuck?
Like I've never been able to make her do that.
He's like, dude, you just need to use this technique and he
like, Showed me with my arm and my hand like what to do and like
it unlock the mystery and like, you know, now you know some of

(01:03:37):
the girls in Kiev were like, yeah, he's a squirt master
because I mean it's so easy. Right?
Of course everybody's a little bit different but having that
literally Hands-On training was the difference because I had
read tons of squirting books andlike try to figure out how to do
it but it wasn't until he actually like showed me that I
was able to do it so yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

(01:03:59):
I mean, when it comes to the, you know, the actual muscle
memory of, that kind of thing. Like, yeah, like particularly
things like spanking, because I think, like of all the things
that I've taught physically insects classes, spanking is the
thing that guys struggle with the most, actually, to get to
get really good. Because it requires this ability
to have a total, like, loosenessand floppiness in your hand,

(01:04:22):
which most, well whenever I say most, I may be wrong, but a lot
of men are Very stiff and rigid in their upper bodies,
especially go especially guys, that do a lot of gym work.
They may be really strong but not very subtle.
And not, not particularly in tune with their body to be able
to create chains of motion. So you know, I think like that

(01:04:44):
because back doing bad smoking, spanking is much worse than
doing no spanking. Like it's just like hitting with
a lump of wood so yeah having real live butts to practice on
and the girls go. No.
Yes, left. Right?
Do it harder We can what it would if they could, I get very,
very clear feedback and you know, from all the other
techniques as well. Yeah, it's takes it from

(01:05:06):
something where it's like a theoretical thing or a thing
that's intellectual and conceptual to okay, this is real
now I can actually do it. So yeah and you know another
another funky thing that happensin that class is the other.
The same goal is I do demonstrations of how to do anal
sex. Now, I'm a I'm an Aficionado of
anal sex. It's quite important to me.

(01:05:27):
I know some guys That's where the poop comes out, but I'm
like, yeah, but that's also where the dick can go eat.
Yeah, if you're not into it, that's why I don't know.
I don't force yourself if you'renot into, but I definitely am.
And, and I, I, you, I have sex with anal sex with about 80% of
the women that I'm with, becauseI always try it.

(01:05:48):
And I know how to do it perfectly, and I know how to do
it in a way that's not going to hurt at all.
And so Ivory trained, a lot of women, who, you know, most women
have had anal as like a A prettyshitty experience with a
boyfriend in high school, who tried to shove it in thinking,
it might just pop him, right? And that, and it hurt, and it
felt weird and they like, not not doing that again.
So, yeah, I'm I often re imprintthem on that.

(01:06:13):
So, yeah, for the back of the class, when, when, uh, uh,
that's always the best for me. It's when a girl's like, no, I
hate it. Baba and then I'm like, no, you
just haven't had it done the right way.
And then they're like, I was like, that's what every guy says
there. She says, that's what every guy
says. I am.
And I said, I know, but I'm actually telling the truth.
I'll give I'll give you. I'll give you guys one tip on

(01:06:35):
anal, sex. If they would like it, the
secret gents on anal sex, you may think.
Okay, intuitively you would think.
Well, I need to get things in and out in order to loosen up
the boat. Now, let's go that way.
The the the anal sphincter is like coil the muscle.
And the way we want to stretch it is, we actually want to

(01:06:57):
stretch it side to side. The side as opposed to In and
Out, right? Because that's because that's
what's going to actually loosen and open up the, the muscle
there. So, when you first kind of
probing with your thumb, let's say or your finger.
I wouldn't recommend popping it into the knuckle right because
that can be uncomfortable popping in and out.
So just dipping dipping until I've got my thumb in far enough

(01:07:19):
that I can start to actually pull down or pull up a pool side
to side. So, I started these little
stretches up and down side to side.
This is what will start to open and expand the sphincter.
And then later when, when once she's warmed up enough to take
your cock, same thing. Once you've got the head of the
cock in which you don't want to pop in and out, like, you see in
porn because that gaping the, they have to be pretty

(01:07:43):
experienced for that to work. And that's and it's seems to be
from the feedback. The uncomfortable part of good
anal, sex is the pulling it out at the end Drake.
It feels feels weird and so there's ways that you can do
with that basically heart burning sensation they say,
Yeah, and I guess and it feels like you're pulling something
out which you are in a way. So I mean yeah, I can imagine

(01:08:03):
it's weird. But anyway.
So you know, when you actually get the head of the cock in,
then the same thing you can Li use it as a lever.
Basically to, like stretch side to side up and down bit of a
circle. Well, then idling going in and
out, in and out, then I'll do that up and down into that and
then you'll feel at some point. The but just gives up its had
enough and it just I'm ready Suddenly, It's just relaxed.

(01:08:24):
It's like, all right, all right,it's do what you want and then
you can start. Fucker properly.
So there's a little anal tip forthe day.
That's great, very applicable again.
And that's really the struggle, I think with a lot of the Sexes
content out there. It's that so much is so
theoretical and and, or it's on the opposite, which is just so

(01:08:45):
mechanical. So guys, get stuck in either.
The kind of whoo airy-fairy like, sort of mindset or they go
too hard on like the Tactical. So right then.
Yes, yes, that's definitely. And that's what I've, you know,
attempted to do in my, in the sex god master class, in, in my
online version, which I'm launching now is to like, you

(01:09:07):
know, for example in the online course, I show I've got to count
them but it's hundreds of techniques, right?
So that's everything. Everything from this, how to
take a brother off through to how to, you know, fuck a girl in
the ass and many other things inbetween.
So I outlined them in the, in the way that, you know, men like
clinically very like, broken down exactly granular.

(01:09:27):
Step by step. But then, what I do is I look at
the layers of that, the layers of communication, that that
leads you into that and and how it all ties together into a, an
erotic and sensual experience, right?
Because yeah, I've talked to many women and I'm always
talking to women about their sexlies and that also comes up
commonly where they'll say, you know, I've had Partners who are

(01:09:50):
technically really good, but they're hyper fixated on on my
orgasm and Hyper fixated on doing their tricks, right?
So it's like and one Once which may be cool, if he's got a bunch
of good tricks in the first night, she's like, wow, that was
cool, bunch of things. But then the next time she's
like, okay, he's a, he's a got abunch of Tricks, kind of guy
and, you know, repeating the same ones with the same

(01:10:11):
frequency in the in the same kind of order.
This is going to lead to boring sex eventually anyway.
So yeah, I would say what makes a masterful lover, is the man
that both has the technical toolkit because you know, there is a
whole bunch of things, you just need to know, you need to know.
Male anatomy, you need to know, you know, where the G-Spot is,
and how to stimulate it. You need to know, you know, the

(01:10:33):
exact correct angles to and curvature to spank a girl,
right? So there is a whole bunch of
like, correct technical things to do, but so the man has to
have Proficiency in a bunch of those, but it is the Artistry in
the way that that is all tied together.
And the, the man that is delivering the techniques is

(01:10:56):
most important, right? So it's like, for example, Alive
been to a bunch of, you know, kinky play parties in dungeons.
It's not exactly my thing, but I've been there and what I
noticed because I went with my buddy.
So Dominic, you know, professional Dom and he did a
big, big show like a big scene and you had this guy girl tied
up to a cross. And was, you know, doing all

(01:11:17):
sorts of fantastically nasty things to her.
And it was the room was electric, right?
It was like, he was and he's a skinny dude, but he was
terrifying, right? Like his like, Intensity and
ferocity, which was also extremely controlled.
Like he wasn't just thrashing her every single move.
Every movement was precise. Every hit was perfect, but at

(01:11:37):
the same time, there was a wild beast in the room and a little
bit later. Another guy got up and did
another show and it was interesting to watch because he
was technically perfect, but it was boring.
It was like he was spotting. It was it was like he was
spotting her in the gym, right? Like he was, he was going
through the motions, he's doing that, you know, he was doing all
the right stuff, but there was no Real man behind it right

(01:12:00):
there. Wasn't, there was no Beast.
There was no intensity. There was no intent.
And so for a man to be a great lover, you also have to go
through your own personal sexualJourney, right, to actually kind
of reclaim both your wildness, and your, and your control
aggressiveness. Let's say and your sensuality,
right? Like, because, you know, for a

(01:12:21):
lot of guys that feels weird to tooth even say the word, it's
actually like enjoy subtle touchand soft.
And breathing and the gooey Sensations.
You get when you're inside a goal in almost imperceptibly
moving and you know synchronizing your breath
weather and so on. So yeah it's I mean it's a
journey, right? Like most guys don't I would say

(01:12:42):
don't become very good with thatsex until a number of years.
Like you need you need, you needpractice, you need to be with
different partners. You need to go deal with your
own sexual, shame and issues. If all of us, have some kind of
sexual shame in issues of some sort.
So, being able to Assess that and reclaim and take ownership
of your sexual desire is probably in some ways even more

(01:13:05):
important than the technical skill set.
Yeah. And it's I mean when you do that
and you go through that process,it's very therapeutic as well.
And and the downside of not doing it.
Like, well, there's a couple things like the bar is pretty
low. I found most guys.
Yes, have just like such little interest or maybe.

(01:13:28):
Interest. But like actual motivation to do
anything that the bar is quite low but if you're if you're to
the point like I'll see clients that are like I'm having trouble
after sleeping with a woman continuing to sleep with her.
And would you say that that's almost always just due to a lack

(01:13:49):
of skills in the bedroom? Because on the flip side, I've
seen like guys who were like, probably making a lot of
mistakes as far Our as just interpersonal and social skills
go, but if they are good, in thebedroom, girls will keep coming
back. Just to have that experience.
Some, I'm curious if you experience that, yeah, 100%

(01:14:09):
like, good good, reliable dick is hard to find and so, yes,
you're totally right. That you have like a massive
margin for error. If you're good in bed, rock you
can you can get away with havingless conversational ability or
you know, less game or whatever.And I know like I'm very aware
that summer my Of us don't even like me as a human.

(01:14:31):
I mean, that we just we don't have anything in common.
They're not really particularly interested in me as a human, but
they're like, that's where the good sex is.
So I'll put up with James talking about ancient history of
the ten minutes, so we can get to that.
Poor some sex, they just use me for my meat but like, yeah, we
make you feel horrible. I know, you know, it's little

(01:14:52):
things. Like, I know I knew you had this
kind of experience as well, but,you know, like, in Kiev it
became last last year. I do not last year.
A year before back in the good old days.
You know, my reputation meant that models you know, these are
extremely extremely hot, women would deliver themselves to my
door because they were told by whoever that and specifically

(01:15:15):
has been one of my greatest Advocates like a number of girls
have told me. Do you not like yeah she's like
when I met her she said there isthis man called James if you get
a chance fucking that's like thanks.
Babe. Thanks for those referrals you
fucked her after I did. So that's a feather in your cap.
Oh yes, yes, Yes. Actually.

(01:15:38):
I have to say that if that was one of my better but it was the
one with the braces. Yes.
Same one yes. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Like actually that was one of my
better performances I think of the year with her actually I was
particularly inspired so she definitely did good a very good
session and so and I'm glad I did because it got Got some

(01:15:58):
referrals but yeah like okay Bragg's aside.
Yeah by the way guys just in case you didn't know I'm pretty
good at sick. Bragging aside the point being
is that yes like if you if you can satisfy a woman and you're
right the bar is very low but not just satisfy.
It's like I mean I think there'syou know there's enough guys out
there that can you know last longer than ten minutes and can

(01:16:20):
figure out how to lick her pussyand get you know make a girl
come. Like that's not that uncommon.
But when it comes to, you know, giving a squirting orgasm, Gasps
hums full-body orgasms tying herup, spanking, you're taking you
through, you know, different role plays, integrating both
Tantra and kink, or BDSM in the same kind of session like this.

(01:16:41):
This is the kind of stuff that she's very likely to have ever
seen, or Pro, and probably to ever see again, because there's
not that many trans men who havetaken the time to learn it.
Right? And they're busy.
So, yes, absolute, like I have against not to brag but it's
Like I get hit up regularly by women.
I haven't seen for a year or sixmonths or whatever.

(01:17:03):
And they're like, where are you?Are you coming to my city?
Can I see you and they and theseare women who could get laid
yesterday, you know, tens minutes ago by fucking hot as
fuck, buff Chad's, if they wanted to, like no problem
because they're attractive women, but skinny old, big nose
fucking 43. Year old me is very often their

(01:17:23):
choice. So, yeah, it's like and the
other thing about being good in bed, One of the things that
gives you so yeah. It gives you a lifetime of women
wanting to come back and fuck you.
It also gives you n gain confidence, right?
So, you know, like, I'm sure you've seen this with clients as
well, where a guy will sabotage himself close to the Finishing

(01:17:47):
Line, because he's not because he doesn't think he can deliver,
and maybe a cart, and everythingthat he's doing the way touches,
the woman, the way he looks at her way, leads her.
Is his kind of unconfident or tentative because he's not sure
like, what do I like, it's what do I, what am I going to do?
When I get her in bed? Whereas, you know, when, you

(01:18:09):
know, really know that, like I got you, babe, she can feel that
she can sense it hours before you go home.
It's in the, it's in your lookedin.
You touch its in the way you speak and it and I for myself, I
find it means that like, when I'm on Dates or whatever.

(01:18:30):
I'm not concerned. Like, I'm not trying to get this
girl home, not worried, if she'sgoing to, if I'm going to get
later, not because, and it wouldbe totally arrogant if I said
this to her. But like what I am thinking is
like it would be, this is going.It would be the silliest
decision of your life, not to come home with me.
Like and would be one of the best if you do.
And so I'm you know, I'm presenting this gift to you and

(01:18:53):
if you're smart you'll take it and if not someone else will
very soon. So yeah it really I think it
massively effects. That's huge.
Your confidence overall the hotter and more confident, a
woman is the more she's going tofeel that intuitively as well
and she's got weed a guy out, pretty instantly if she picks up
on the uncertainty in him and that lack of confidence.

(01:19:15):
Dense. So, yeah.
That's, that's huge and I think.Yeah.
And like, guys might be triggered when they hear that
kind of stuff with a like, what will fuck?
Why do you know women, so picky or whatever?
It's like, well, you think aboutit, like, If she's attractive
and she's smart and she's social, she can have a guy that
is, you know, tall good-looking Rich, Hollenberg amazing in bed,

(01:19:37):
fun, whatever, like she has those options and why wouldn't
she, why wouldn't she take the best option?
Like, as we as we do, is we increase our sexual market
value. And as we get better and
whatever then okay, cool. We upgrade what we're looking
for and we wouldn't like if we were with a girl on a date, like
I've seen girls home on dates. Like if she's been a brat or
she's boring is batshit, or Like, I mean, I'll leave in

(01:20:01):
singles home. I'll stop having sex with him if
it's really, really bad, right? So when you have Choice, then
you will choose the best the, right?
So we can't, or necessarily all be the best in terms of looks
and height and things that we can't necessarily change, but we
can be the best she's ever had in bed because as you said, the
bar is so low. The average man, last five to

(01:20:23):
seven minutes in bed according to science and has most of Them
don't know where a clitoris, youdon't know how to locate a
clitoris and most don't care. You know.
And so therefore if you give a shit enough to ask questions and
you know communicate maybe usingsome of the techniques I said
earlier and work on practicing jerking off for long for 10 to

(01:20:46):
20 minutes at a time, which is agood practice to do as opposed
to just knock on one out becauseyou are training for sex when
you're jerking off gents. So if you if you knock one out
in 60 seconds, how do you think you're going to last?
Long in bed because you this is sex training, right?
So this is something that we canabsolutely change and learn and
get better and better and betterwith age, and with time, and it

(01:21:09):
is something that sets you apartfrom 90, 90 something percent of
the men on the planet for sure. Yeah, the I think so many guys
are training themselves, poorly with internet porn.
Rubbing one out really quick, you know, in hiding.
Right? And yeah, that's yeah, that's
how you're gonna perform. Warm bed.
So yeah, maybe I'll just I should just say a few things on

(01:21:32):
the, a little bit on that because it is, it's there's an,
there's a crisis of male like addiction to pornography,
because it really, especially for the Generation X and Zuma
guys who grew up with it becauseI don't know about you.
But like, you know, my the firstpoint oversaw was on a VHS and
wasn't it was John Holmes in theJade pussycat from 1972 with

(01:21:55):
this one VHS that me and my bodypast.
Out. So you know long before the days
of high-speed internet, I've been hearing good news.
So yeah same deal me and my buddies.
I think they're like seventh or eighth grade.
Like we got a hold of one of my friend's dad's VHS and we all
like, sat around and like, oh, wow, back when porn was a group

(01:22:17):
activity because I was so scared.
Yes, I mean for the guys growingup in the generations where, you
know, from 14 onwards or whatever you're seeing High
speed internet porn, it really fries, you dopamine circuits and
you can look up your brain on onporn.com, for all the signs on
it. But, you know, I've worked with

(01:22:37):
lots of guys who made themselvesimpotent at the age of 25, you
know, like healthy young guys, who have wide wide, their
sexuality to the act of jerking off, looking at a screen and it
is problematic. So, like, I recommend two guys
that they reduce or try and delete pornography from their
life, not not for any immoral. Ins bit because it can, it will

(01:23:01):
can fuck you up in bed. And as you were saying, you
know, doing it doing it quickly and with that shame of like
hiding and you know, hope mom doesn't come in or whatever
doing it as like, a stress release or or distraction, or
something like that. And doing it quickly also with a
very strong grip, right? Some most men jerk off with a

(01:23:21):
strong man's hand which is not the same intensity as most
pussies, right? So you can actually desensitize
your dick by squeezing it too hard and joking off eight times
a week or whatever. So that when you're inside a
normal soft woman that it's not stimulating enough.
So yeah, the way that I trained guys, you know, I teach them use

(01:23:42):
your masturbation as self cultivating time where you are
training to be awesome in bed. So do it in a position where
they could be a woman. So you're not doing hunched
over, you know do it with an upright spine with your legs,
open standing or seated or kneeling in a position that
Replica. Replicates what you could have
sex in because your body remembers, right?
So if you repeat, the same action over again, and your body

(01:24:05):
will start to think, well, sex is me hunched over stressfully
doing this for three minutes. Whereas, if I, please myself for
1020 minutes, bring myself up tolike 90 percent.
Let go take a big breath in breathe out, let your arousal
State drop a bit and then do that through Cycles.
You could, you know, joke off for 20 minutes or more and
you're learning to ride the cuspof your arousal.

(01:24:27):
If you're not using Pornography and just using imagination or
sensation, then you re sensitizing yourself you know
coming into touch with your own sensuality.
Let's say and then gives you much, much better, orgasm
control as well. So yeah.
Be aware like because it's kind of like eating junk food all
week and then going to the gym on on Friday, and trying to fix

(01:24:50):
it all in that, right? So like, you know, those two
things don't fit together and porn and that kind of
masturbation is the junk food version of your sexuality.
Yeah, that's a great analogy makes perfectly Crystal Clear
sense. One question I had for you was
so what I tried back in the day to become multi-orgasmic you
know I read ontology and tried. Yeah you know but I called semen

(01:25:14):
retention or where you you circulate the orgasm.
Yeah, back just like holding my urine stream to build a PC
muscles and I felt like I, you know, I gave it the old Better
than the college try. But I could never clear that
there had to have you been able to do that and you know anyone

(01:25:35):
that has or what are your thoughts?
Yeah yeah. I relate to this because I think
there was a there was a bit of hype around this whatever Mead
2010's or something and it led him to the nofap kind of thing
after that. But yeah there was the idea of
becoming multi-orgasmic and there's the multi-orgasmic man
by mantak. Chia is the classic text on that

(01:25:55):
and there's some other good books on it.
And so, like you. Yes, I also trained with these
scoop the loop or like the microcosmic orbit different
types of breathing. What I think like, yes I have
experienced it, but it's not like you're choosing out of all
your fingers and your eyeballs or whatever.
Like it's it's the sensation I think it's probably a misleading

(01:26:17):
title, the same multi-org like multi orgasm, make
multi-orgasmic it's it's a different thing.
I think it's probably more closely related to like what a
deep vagina log. It might feel like for a woman
where it's like, it's more like an electricity running through
your through your body. So it's not in your tents then
because I did feel. Yeah.
You know, right? Yeah.

(01:26:39):
That's a good way to say. Sorry cut.
Yeah, because it's like, yeah, it's not.
Well, I mean, maybe maybe this was something I never
experienced some, like cosmic explosion that, you know, that
was being described. It was more like, what I found
and I still use these techniquesa lot because they help me to
ride my to throttle and Ride my arousal State and also to like

(01:27:01):
heightened the sensation. So yeah, when I'm having sex I
will at various points you know slow the woman down take a by
the hips and then I'll start to do some of that breathing and
some of that internal work and the effect that it has a me as
yeah. It feels like I'm alive.
Tingly alert much more present and can feel like the subtleties
in my body. There's a relaxed arousal like

(01:27:23):
I'm really horny but I'm also really relaxed so that's that's
that's been the way that Personal experience that.
And so I found that to be an end.
I think the biggest takeaway I have from it is that when I do
that I don't need to come and I still feel satisfied, right?
So it's not like I don't I don'tbecause I don't come I come

(01:27:43):
every third or fourth girl or something, right?
Because at my age, if I came with every girl, I by the end of
the week I'd be ruined. So I need to preserve my energy
and so yeah, I do that with, youknow, girl one or two, I'll draw
the energy up. But a filter down to usually
towards the end of the session. And then, and then I'll let
allow myself to cool and then I feel really satisfied and still

(01:28:05):
alert and an ally and enliven does opposed to after after an
orgasm. So, yeah, that's been my kind of
experience with that. Well, I'm glad you confirm that
because most of the guys who have told me.
Oh yeah. It's blah blah.
Like I was like, man. I don't believe you.
You know, I think, I think a lotof people say, a lot of things
that, yeah, what are your take on penis pills?

(01:28:27):
Eels Viagra, Cialis medicating your way through some of these
sexual dysfunctions. Yeah, well, I think it's I'm not
going to be saying absolute answer on this, but I think it's
very dangerous to to look to Viagra or any of those pills to

(01:28:50):
get to save you. The pain of dealing with
something that's actually reallyimportant to deal with like
look. I mean I there's an old packet
of Cialis in my in my draw and I've I use it like when I'm
having a A really big weekend, or there's like two or two or
more girls than I'm like, okay, I'm going to really need to

(01:29:11):
like, bring my a game here. So like I think as an as an
occasional enhancement if you can be disciplined about it,
fine. Whatever.
You know, you go into an orgy that weekend, whatever, you
know. Okay.
Just let's get em any they were wholly and you might need some
other stuff to counteract, right?
Yeah, yeah. So you know in those situations

(01:29:34):
sure but the problem comes With and I've had friends and clients
have talked to this about about this, where they're like well
you know, usually when I'm with a girl, the first time I
struggled to get it up. So I started taking the blue
pill to just get me through thatone, right?
And the worked, right? So cool, he has a good executive
experience. He gets hard and then he's going

(01:29:55):
to have to do that. Always now, because the neck,
because the next time it happens, well, I better not risk
it. And now, and now I've anchored
in my mind that my successes were like, rely on that pill.
Right. And so, therefore, you know, you
can pretty easily create Pathways where you can't do
anything without it, and of course, if you're doing those
things regularly, well, they youbuild up a tolerance and

(01:30:16):
eventually, you know, they won'twork or you're going to need to
take, take more and more of them, and that's not good for
your health. So, yeah, that's the way I would
view it as like cool. Like, look if you're on the date
on a date with the hottest, you know you've got a date coming up
with the hottest woman you've ever been with and you do not
want to desperately, do not wantto fuck it up.
Okay b a quarter off an hour before.
And then deal with deal with thedeal with it, if you don't get,

(01:30:39):
if she doesn't come home with you and deal with it 48-hour
erection. But but yeah, I would say, I
would say just guys, to be careful because look it's easy
to get addicted to any type of drug use.
Most people don't start taking any type of drug thinking,
they're going to get addicted toit.
They take it for, you know, its purpose and it works.
And then they take more and thenit doesn't work anymore.

(01:30:59):
You take more like, you can see where it goes.
So, yeah, I'm not an absolutist on that but I, you know, they're
actually, I mean, and the other thing is Be very skeptical of
anything that says that it's a natural enhancement.
Like any of those things, you get at the corner, store,
Bodega, or any of those Asian sex bills because I remember, we
found one that was called super hard power.

(01:31:21):
I remember that one. And it was.
Yeah, yeah, it was all natural. And on the back of it, it had a
list of all sorts of natural herbs.
And and so we totally bunch of us, took it and it fucking
worked and it was like, whoa, bonus for days.
And then eventually I did a bit of a deep dive and just like I
should really check what's in this shit and you know, I did
some research. Each and found that it's
actually a company in whatever China that puts in a bunch of

(01:31:43):
herbs and then puts in no name Viagra and it's just basically
Viagra. I was wondering where that shit
works so well because you brought something called easily.
Write it as like this, right? Yes.
Yes. So yeah, sorry that.
That was just all shitty cheap, Chinese Viagra.
Basically. That's so funny.
Yeah, I think that's spot-on because yeah, it's like I find

(01:32:06):
if you catch yourself thinking you need it, It.
It becomes that self-fulfilling prophecy of you can't perform
without it and that's kind of when you're hooked, if someone's
listening and they are feeling like they're hooked, is there
any way to like, you know, get off it or any tips for that?

(01:32:27):
Yeah. Like with any drug you want to,
you need to if you're dependent on it then I would be minimizing
the dosage as opposed to going cold turkey on it.
So you know, cutting Let me see down a bit.
Yeah but then I'd say there's also going to need to be some
kind of re acclimatizing period.Like it's the same with guys who

(01:32:49):
have extreme pain addictions that it can it can take some
months actually to to kind of reWireless actual Pathways in your
mind and in your body. I mean, look, there's much
better ways. Well, let's say there's there's
there's natural and yeah, much better ways to work on, on
performance. Problems.

(01:33:11):
And you know, I teach that in myonline course and in the live
course, when it comes to learning to Get over the
physical anxiety of it because not for the most part.
The reason why guys don't get itup it's not a medical issue.
Usually it's simply fight or flight, reflex activated right?

(01:33:33):
It's just simply that you feel nervous because you don't want
it because this is a hot girl and you don't want to mess it up
and so your body goes into that fight or flight reaction.
And when your body's in fight orflight, it takes blood away from
unimportant areas, and puts it in your extremities.
So you ready to punch or run? So it doesn't need a dick at
that moment. And I remember like back when I

(01:33:54):
had problems with my early days with this, I remember that
feeling of like being in that state losing my erection and it
was like, I didn't have a dick was so numb, like, I couldn't
even feel it such a weird sensation, and it was simply
because of that. So the way that I personally,
because I had this issue for my first bunch of Partners, the way
that I started to initially solve, it was was actually just

(01:34:17):
to talk to the girl about it. So I said, one day, I said these
words And I said, Hey, listen, sometimes when I'm with a new
partner it doesn't work immediate.
I think it's just because I get nervous.
So let's just cuddle and make out for a while.
Take the pressure off, right? And and that like that sentence
or variations upon that changed my life because You know I'm

(01:34:40):
probably everyone said this equal you know couldn't relate
to this of like the girl kind ofkissing down your chest going
lower to give you a blow job andyou like hurry up.
Hurry how have got five more seconds before I lose this
election and then by the time she gets down there it's floppy
and then she's trying to you know suck your floppy dick and
you're trying to pretend like everything's okay and then she
looks up at you and if she's Australia since his is the

(01:35:00):
everything, all right, anything wrong with those of my
experiences. You know, that's that's
humiliating for both of you creates a complex makes it a
now, it's a pro. Now you have a problem, right?
There's this thing that happens to you and I can't talk about
it. I don't know how to deal with
that. And I'm just going to end up in

(01:35:21):
this really awkward scenario. So, you know, to solve that kind
of just out of frustration. I was just like, I'm just going
to tell her what's going on genius.
And so by just saying, you know,when I'm with a new partner, so
it's so then she's not worried thinking, I'd say it's about me,
I'm ugly, I'm fat. He doesn't like me or it's about
you. You're gay.
There's something wrong with youinstead.
It becomes not anyone's fault. It's just like, and there's a

(01:35:45):
reason for. It's just like I'm with an armed
with someone you and I sometimesI would add the compliment.
I would say. Look sometimes I don't get up
immediately and you're so hot that you making me a little bit
nervous. So let's do something else to
take the pressure off and then Iwould lead her into doing
something else. Right?
So then she feels hot and sexy and okay, that makes sense.
And then she usually wants to help you and just on that that

(01:36:07):
it is important that you then. Do something else because if I,
if I just said that are sometimes I'm, you know, it
doesn't work. I think it's just cause I'm
nervous and then I stopped and Idon't create a solution.
Now, it's her problem, right? But in this situation, I bring
it up, here's the issue or, you know, here's what's happened.
And then I create the solution, which is do something that's
physically and intimate, but doesn't require penetrative sex.

(01:36:30):
So, however, cuddle and make outand touch your body.
Give her a massage naked together, hover bath, you know,
lie naked together. And Watch something on your
laptop and just going to have, you know idly touch your
breasts, right? So these things were you in
physical contact sensual it's you know playful or it's sexy or
whatever. It is can be different tones,
but it doesn't require you to get hard.

(01:36:51):
That's what I found started to solve the problem for me because
I was like, okay. Now there's no expectation.
Now, I'm feeling more relaxed, you know, and I'm touching this
beautiful woman I suddenly I'm hard again.
Okay, let's try again. Yeah.
And that's so refreshing. I think for women to hear too
because a lot of the time, the Thus, it is happening where
they're just like trying to get it in as fast as possible,

(01:37:14):
pushing. Yep.
You know, the Thirsty sort of dude, where you're just like
admittedly, like, did you ever see that Jim Jefferies stand up,
where he talks about the difference between sluts and
studs? Yes.
And he's talking about how like,you know, hey, if you know the
female orgasm, it's like, you know, if I don't make you come,

(01:37:36):
it's not my fault your cunts broken.
I've made other girls come before.
I often have my my clients just watch that, just because the
mindset where he's coming from, which is just like no pressure.
You know. This this isn't supposed to be
this like you know this thing toobsess over too much, where I

(01:37:58):
feel like a lot of guys, you know, make that happen.
I feel like that's just kind of nails that thing but it reminded
me your statement reminded me a little bit about that.
That being honest about what's going on and allowing that to to
create that communication. Like you mentioned one of the

(01:38:18):
yeah because, you know, otherwise it's, you know, it's
very, it's a very lonely, weird experience to, you know, not get
it up and be able to perform andboth of you are in your own
weird worlds, like, feeling bad about this situation and that's
where you're more likely to get a nasty rash.
Like the girl might feel like her Prides hurt or something.
And so, then she might lash out and go something I'm with you

(01:38:39):
whatever like I've found that. You know, every time I did that
pretty much, I can't remember any bad reactions but it was
just like immediately, it relaxed everything in the girls
like okay cool. What can I do to help?
Like, you know she she gets it now and she wants you to feel
good. She wants you to feel relaxed
and you know, she, yeah. She wants a hard dick and she
wants to have sex with you, but letting her know you're not a

(01:39:01):
robot. You know, you're not a machine
and probably a lot of women, think that, you know, man?
Just get hard instantly. Soon as these boobs in the room,
because that's the, that's the cliche, which you know, it's
true sometimes. But yeah, that it's, you know,
letting her know that. Okay.
I'm not a robot. This is, this can be nervous and
nerve-racking for a man, but it can be solved.

(01:39:23):
And yeah, those those that's that.
That was the most important toolthat I found to get over that
issue. So you think about like compare
that to taking the blue pill, okay, so you might have taken
the Viagra and then you didn't have to deal with that, awkward
situation. But dealing with that awkward.
Situation. That's a man lesson, right?
That's that's a growing up lesson.
That's that's something that reveals a lot of maturity and

(01:39:47):
and actually and actually confidence like real confidence.
Cook the confidence of ignorance, you know the
conference of I don't know what I'm doing, the confidence of I
need some help and I'm but I'm directing that to it to a
conclusion or a solution like those are the kind of things
that you know add to your personal development and growth
as a man as opposed to try and take Taking Shortcut to hide

(01:40:10):
from the pain, right? Yeah.
Super, you know, it's like you said it's a moment of growth
instead of reverting to, you know.
Some some other thing. Another question for you.
What about a guy who's been in arelationship for a long time?
May be monogamous, maybe not, but just a recurring partner for
a long time. Any advice?

(01:40:32):
I know you've had a lot of awesome.
Recurring relationships over a long period of time that I've
known you. Same women in your life for a
long. Time come and go.
Of course, any advice on like keeping things fresh or alive in
the bedroom, like avoiding kind of falling into those just, you
know, patent routine, six. Yeah, well, What I would say is

(01:40:57):
it kind of to some extent that depends on like how much damage
you guys have done or how boringit's gotten, right?
Like it's kind of the same thingof like, you know, when a guy's
comes to us and says, hey look, I want to hire you and I want
you to help me pick up this girl, that I've known for two
years, right? And and I'm like, save your

(01:41:19):
money buddy, you know? Because it's like if she was
going to be attracted to you, itwas going to be two years ago.
Yeah, it's kind of too late for that.
I can teach you how to meet other women but I can't teach
you how to pick up that one girl, right?
So look, you know, sometimes in relationships things have kind
of reached a sexual dead end or there's resentment or you know

(01:41:39):
there's things that maybe cannotbe solved or would require
therapy let's say you know mightrequire more intervention but
okay so you look this isn't it'snatural that over time, the
Coolidge effect is real and you know people get used to each
other. There's a number of things I
would say variety is probably the well, variety and mystery I

(01:42:03):
would say would be the two things because maybe one of the
mistakes that people make in relationships is getting too
familiar. So, you know, like taking dumps
in front of each other and you know cutting your toenails in
front of each other. The stuff that Australian
couples just. That's that's how you know.
It's your fucking girl. You know she fucking wipes your
ass for you. And that's one thing I always
noticed about Ukrainian. Is is like, I've never I don't

(01:42:26):
think Ukrainian girls don't fart.
They don't shit, right? I've never never, I've never
seen any evidence of it. Never any evidence of it, you
know they like it's definitely athing in the East where like
when they present to their man, I mean often they're very done
up. You know, like they wear nice

(01:42:46):
panties around the house when they're walking around, not
really the personal hygiene thing they do it right over
there. Like I started shaving my arm.
X when I move to the right. And yeah they they hold that in
very high regard which is great,I think right other cultures.
Should yeah yeah so it's like and look you know when when kids

(01:43:09):
get involved and whatever else you know it's this is not always
realistic and you know life getsin the way and you can't always
be a sexy play thing. But yeah having enough mystery
of each other that you still Will you still keep the
attraction? Like spending time apart with,

(01:43:30):
with other friends? You know, not just only doing
routine things together which again, I know it can be hard
when you're living together and got normal lives or whatever,
but having actual date nights having nights off, maybe not
always checking in with each other eight times a day.
That's like these kinds of things which you can start,

(01:43:51):
which can like, kind of reignite.
A bit of polarity, that's good. When it comes to the bedroom
itself. Well yes it's definitely
looking. I would be looking at.
Okay. What is your routine?
Because you absolutely have one,right?
And you could, yeah, most peopleget into Ace very specific or
one or two routine kind of sequence and so I would be

(01:44:12):
looking at that and go. Okay.
Well if I always go down on her first because I read that book
that said you should or whatever, then switch it up.
You know, bend over the table, rip her panties down and fucker
immediately, right? If that's something that you
wouldn't usually do, I mean, look there's yeah there's so

(01:44:33):
many things that we can throw into the mix to spice things up
and bring toys and Fantasies androle plays and stuff which is
definitely good. But it's essentially it's going
to come down to the variety of Sensations and let's say
surprises that you can give to the girl and it doesn't
necessarily mean learning hundreds and hundreds of

(01:44:53):
techniques. Although that wouldn't be bad.
I think it's more to do with like I don't want her to know.
Think every time I know what's going to come next.
Yeah it's like I want to have all sorts of Lego blocks that I
can turn into different shapes and reverse them you know, like
simple stuff like Having sex in in different locations, not

(01:45:18):
always doing it in the bedroom. Like sitting down with your
woman and then and also discussing this like he's good
to do like to sit down and not to phrase it.
In terms of, there's a problem but phrase in terms of I'd
really like us to take our sexual relationship to a new

(01:45:40):
level and I'd really like to explore some new things with
you. And I don't feel like I know
everything about your fantasies or what it is that you like or
wanted to do and I want to open that up now and Ask you about
that. All right.
So and some girls will be 0. We like finally cool.
Here's all the stuff I wanted totry and others may not may be

(01:46:02):
nervous about it. And if I mean, I do this with,
you know, no new partners as well, I'll have this kind of
discussion. And you know, I say the things
you want to try our fantasies and then they're like, um, well,
not sure and they kind of have something but they're not sure.
They feel nervous to say, then Imight give her options, right?
I say okay, well have you ever fantasized about you know, being

(01:46:23):
in a real Aggressive situation, he'll eyes light up and then I
follow that bread crumb and say okay well it's so would it would
it turn you on if I was a stranger, for example, and then
you and then she's like, yes, that sounds good.
And I like, I actually know, it'd be better if you were my
boss or something. Okay, cool.
We can start adjusting figure out what her fantasy.
Roleplay might be, for example, and I'll put those things to her

(01:46:45):
as well. One thing I've always wanted to
try with you. Yeah, something that I really
won't have like, I've been imagining doing with you all
when I when I saw you in that dress the other day, when I saw
you, like practicing yoga the other day, I just wanted to come
up behind you and rip the yoga pants apart and fuck you right
there. And she says and she gives some
kind of cool reaction, I said cool.

(01:47:08):
Tomorrow where the yoga pants that you don't mind getting
ripped and like that kind of thing.
So yeah so yeah look it's going to come down to that.
Yes, you do need to put effort into it especially in a
long-term relationship like you'll usually get.
If you guys are hot for each other in the early days then
you're just going to be riding off the kind of that honeymoon

(01:47:31):
an attraction to each other but yeah of course that's that's
going to change over time. So it takes Research actually
giving a shit opening. Good lines of communication
creating variety. Those are some good good part
places to start super applicable.
Do this has been awesome. So if guys are, we've been
renting for ages. Yeah I know.

(01:47:52):
I feel like we could keep going.But yeah if anything else that
you feel like is super important, you want to leave the
guys with and then know I think I think we gave them a good
download here. Yeah, I think so too.
So you've got the sex class, you've got the master class
coming out, how would you recommend guys, get involved if

(01:48:15):
they want to learn more? What are their options, right?
Well, on the sexual side of things, so right now, I am just
launched my online sexuality, training course, called the
master lover method. And so, this is I've taken the
live version which I've been running for the last five years,
and now put it into a home study.

(01:48:37):
Format. So the course is five weeks
long. It's 50 plus h of totally
unreleased content, and I brought in five very sexy.
Very open minded, ladies to assist me in this product.
So I have filmed in explicit, granular detail, everything, and
I mean everything. So, yes, like it, you know, from

(01:49:01):
all sorts of fingering techniques, squirting, anal, sex
spanking, choking roleplay, Tantra.
Dominance fantasies, communication, consent
negotiation like I have packed my 25 years of sex nerdery into
this course and I'm very very proud of it.
So I'm very excited that it's finally out.

(01:49:22):
So if you would want to join that then the enrollments are
open from now until the 12th of March coming up.
So very short amount of time to jump on the course, because it's
a, it's a video course, but it'salso a live mentorship.
So I run webinars with me and with my sex mentors.

(01:49:42):
All right. So tantric teachers and the
gentleman that I mentioned before, so Dominique as well as
sexual psychologist that I know.So my sexual mentors or people,
I've learned a lot from my bringing in to assist in the
course as well. Plus huge number of bonuses.
It's really A Massive Action Pack course.
So if you want to find out more about Robbie, I believe you'll

(01:50:03):
be putting a link in the description or what do you guys
call it on this? Platform the show notes
description. You'll see it down there show
nights. Yeah, right, cool.
So yes you can click that and there's a, you know, go to the
go to the info page and it givesyou full information on the
course and be pleasure a pleasure to have you on board.
Other than that I run live seduction workshops and the

(01:50:25):
light and the much more expensive live version of the
Sexes course. So if anyone wants to find out
about what it is that I do, you can just go to the Natural
Lifestyles.com or check out the natural Lifestyles YouTube we
put out too. He owes more a week.
So we're pretty prolific there. So, yeah, and then, if you
happen to be wandering around the countryside of Portugal, you
might bump into me there as well.

(01:50:49):
I miss those those skips you aredoing, you are putting those out
on Instagram. There was like, do you remember
what I'm talking about? You're like playing this
character. I'm trying to picture it but
like the I think it was during covid.
You're playing like the farmer. Oh yes, yeah.
Well whenever whenever it feels like this, - Mike kind of
collapse because of some Global catastrophe.

(01:51:10):
Then I just switching to puttingout comedy videos because that's
what I enjoyed. Not right now.
I think it's alright. So I'm back to the Practical
stuff. No, your Instagrams, great, I
think you should you don't you don't post there as often as I
feel like you should. Now I gave up.
I just one day I just went I don't want to do this anymore
and I haven't and I haven't regretted that decision.

(01:51:30):
So yeah. Well, you're gonna have to go to
you to feel like I'm I feel likeI might be done.
Yeah, so yeah, come and see you on YouTube.
Join the course and will come and do a live course.
The awesome not been amazing. This has been one of the think
most action and actionable advice and value-driven podcast

(01:51:53):
I've done in a while. So thanks so much for coming.
I'm very pissed. Yeah, I'm it's a pleasure and I
always try. I always try to give something
practical to because I really, you know, I want to help dudes.
I've been in this industry for 15 years or more.
And I've I've seen the real profound change that can come
about when guys get permission to become their actual masculine

(01:52:14):
cells and they get the tools andit spreads beautiful, good
things to both men and women andprobably to Future Generations.
So yeah, more than more than happy to help.
Yeah 100%. All right brother, appreciate
it. Alright thank you very much.
Robbie will talk to you next time.
Yeah. All right.
Peace.

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