In this episode, Lundy Bancroft, a renowned expert on narcissism, abusive relationships, and the family court system, reveals how abusive men manipulate both their partners and the legal system to maintain control. With over 30 years of experience working with abusers and training professionals, Lundy exposes the subtle and overt tactics used by high-conflict individuals to gain power in custody disputes and other legal battles. He shares eye-opening insights from his books, Why Does He Do That? and The Batterer as Parent, highlighting the systemic failures in family courts that often work in favor of abusers, despite clear evidence of harm. Lundy explains why survivors of abuse find themselves in difficult, uphill battles when trying to protect their children and the emotional toll this takes.
Lundy also provides practical advice for mothers navigating high-conflict divorces and custody disputes, outlining critical steps to level the playing field and protect children from further harm. He dives deep into the biases within the legal process that enable dangerous individuals to gain access to their children, even when their behavior is abusive.
Through this conversation, Lundy offers a powerful look into how the family court system operates, how survivors can reclaim their power, and the ways in which we can push back against a broken system. This episode is an essential listen for anyone dealing with narcissism, abuse, and the complexities of high-conflict divorce and custody battles.
Connect with Lundy:
- Book - Not To People Like Us: https://www.amazon.com/People-Hidden-Abuse-Upscale-Marriages/dp/B0009K75UO
- Book - When Dad Hurts Mom: https://www.amazon.com/When-Dad-Hurts-Mom-Witnessing/dp/0425200310
- Book - The Batterer as Parent: https://www.amazon.com/Batterer-Parent-Addressing-Domestic-Violence/dp/1412972051
- Book - Should I Stay or Should I Go?: https://www.amazon.com/Should-Stay-Relationship-Can-Should-be/dp/042523889X
- Book - Daily Wisdom: https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Wisdom-Does-That-Encouragement/dp/0425265102#:~:text=Book%20details&text=Lundy%20Bancroft%20expands%20on%20his,what%20is%20happening%20to%20you.
- Book - The Joyous Recovery: https://www.amazon.com/Joyous-Recovery-Approach-Emotional-Wellness/dp/0578464691
- Book - In Custody: https://www.amazon.com/Custody-Carrie-Green-Novel/dp/B09BGLY3P8
- Website: https://lun
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!