March 10, 2022 • 35 mins
Season 5 is here, baby! “Inventing Anna'' star and actress Anna Chlumsky joins Katie Lowes to share her unique motherhood journey.
Anna chats about what it’s like raising her 8 and 5-year-old daughters, why she is hesitant to share “My Girl” with her children, and how she realized she was experiencing postpartum depression.
Plus, Anna digs into the psyches of childhood performance, providing a sobering account of her personal experience with fame as a child actor. Tune in: you don’t want to miss this!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
in partnership with I Heart Radio. Have your Girls seen
My Girl? Not yet? Now we could do a whole
other talk about childhood performance. The world is so trauma aware,
and yet we still are pretending that the psyches of
(00:20):
child performers and I mean athletes who don't book. Oh,
it can't even Hi, guys, It's Katie Lows and welcome
back to Katie's Crib. Guys. It is season five, Baby,
(00:45):
How are you guys? Is everybody hanging in there? I mean,
can you believe that we're still in a pandemic? Or
is it an endemic or an epidemic? Now? I don't
even know. But for the past few months, we've definitely
been shifting towards a new normal. More places are starting
to open up again, more mask mandates are being lifted,
more people are out and about for me, um, some
(01:06):
opportunities have shown themselves, like I've got Inventing Anna that
just came out on Netflix. You can stream it. I'm
also in my first sitcom on CBS called How We Roll,
which comes out on marcht one. But one thing that
has not changed is the dedication that you guys have
seriously shown toward this podcast, and I want to thank
(01:26):
you guys so much from the bottom of my heart
for continuing to tune in each week and recommending it
to your friends our community. It just, man, it just
feels so honest and authentic to me, and I am
able to be so vulnerable with you guys about exactly
what I'm going through at the moment, and I just
really appreciate you all being there. I've learned so many
(01:47):
things about parenting through this podcast, talking to experts and
other parents who are going through the same journey. I've laughed,
I've cried, I've gone through a whole roller coaster of
emotions and I hope you all have to and I
cannot wait to ring you guys along with me for
the ride in this new season. I am so excited
about season five's very first guest. I am chatting with
(02:11):
the One, the Only, Anna Clumsky. So Anna and I
are on this new Netflix show called Inventing Anna and
the whole story it's told through her characters eyes. She
plays Vivian Kent, journalist. That's all I'm gonna tell you,
because you're just gonna have to watch and see what
I'm talking about. But let me just be the one
to tell you that she is so good in this part,
(02:33):
it's unbelievable. But she and I hadn't talked in quite
a while because there was a pandemic and shooting and
she lives in New York and I live in l
A and blah blah blah blah blah. But I really
just wanted to catch up. I wanted to know more
about her pregnancies, about her labors, how she's sharing her
acting career experience with her children, and so much more.
If you all don't know Anna Clumsky, are you living
under a rock? But here, let me tell you who
(02:55):
she is. You would probably know her as playing the
lead role of Veda in My Girl, which came out
in Night nine and then it had a prequel. Since then,
she's appeared in a number of things. She plays Amy
Brookheimer on the HBO television series Veep, which was incredible.
She's been on White Collar Law and Order, Special Victims Unit,
NBC's adaptation of Hannibal, etcetera, etcetera. Anna is married to
(03:18):
American military veteran and business executive Sean So The two
have two daughters, Clara and Penny. Thank you for coming
on Katie's Curb, Anna, and for being the very first
guest of season. Fact, I am so glad that you're
(03:39):
on this podcast right now. So Anna Clumsky Night, are
on this show called Invintiganax on Netflix. Have you've ever
heard of it? The whole story is told through I
guess through your character's eyes. Sure, I mean your framework. Yeah,
you know, I'm the Yeah, you're so fucking good in
(03:59):
this part, and you're so freaking good at all your parts.
But I mean, this is like ridiculous. Everyone needs to
watch what you do with that's very kind. Oh I
hope seriously, Oh my god, I don't see if I
don't have to do though. But what I think is
so cool is that when you first came on to
our first ever table read, and for you Scandal fans
(04:21):
listening to this podcast, you know that like our Scandal
table reads are like a very famous thing, and the
inventing Anta table reads were very similar, and that it
was really fun and exciting and like going at it
and all this stuff. And I just remember you walking
into the table read. You were just like a mom
of two and your kids are sort of bigger than mine.
(04:43):
What are they a little Yeah, I've got a little
bit of head start. Yeah, now minor eight and five.
Then it would have been six and three. Yes, So
when we were shooting the first time, we were shooting
Inventing Anna, because for those of you listening, we shot
Inventing in a pre pandemic during pandemic. See if you
can stop it too, you can for me and mice
(05:04):
after a baby, that's for sure, it's okay, it's fine.
Thank God for Shawn Um. And we're saying this because yes,
I shot half of the show before I got pregnant
with Vera. Then I got pregny with Vera, then I
had Vera, and then three months later. The whole Hollywood
gets your Body Back is not my story. It's still
(05:26):
not my story. She's over a year. I'm like, I'm sorry, guys,
we're human beings. Like I know, what I was gonna
say was when I saw you and met you, I
was like, holy sh it, you're such a full, real
person and a mom with a very full life. You
come on and you act the ship out of something.
(05:47):
But I had this feeling from you, like holy shit,
you are very involved in all aspects of being a
mom and being a wife and being a caretaker and
being an actress and being all the things that you do.
I just really looked up to you, and really I
and then I started like going down like a Google search,
and you really found out about me and you went
don't meet your heroes. But then it was like I was,
(06:10):
I was looking at you because you were on v
and winning Accolade after accolade, all these things, but you
were pregnant, you were post baby, pre baby, all these
things that it was just very inspiring as an actress
to see you rock that ship. Thanks for saying that,
because of course we you know, we never think we're
(06:32):
rocking anything, and so yes, And I was really fortunate
that when I was going through it, Julia Louis Dreyfus
was boss, you know, both on screen and off. I mean,
she was at the beginning of being able to say,
excuse me, I'm going to go ahead and do my
job and having my kids. Oh my god, can you
even imagine that? Oh yeah, oh yeah, Like she definitely
(06:54):
you know, tell me a few stories about that, and
had that that perspective, um, so really really valuable, really valuable.
I'm sure and I'm sure for you too going through it.
Carrie had gone through SA like. Shonda was the person
who literally sat me down and said, are you thinking
about having a family? And it was like the last
season of Scandal, and I said, I'm really thinking about
(07:16):
it and she said, well, I just want to let
you know that if I were you, I would have
it on my watch. And this is then this show
is not going to be on forever. And I like
went home and I was like, Adam, take off your pants.
So yeah, you're like Adam doesn't like to say. Shonda
was like in the room, but she was like basically
(07:37):
in there. That's amazing. So did you always want to
be a mom? Hey? You know, it's funny. I always
knew I wanted a family, and I always knew I
wanted kids. But when you get into the identity issue
of mom, I'll just say, yeah, I didn't know what
(07:59):
that was. Like, I didn't know, um, what that could be.
I'm in that category of people who, um, I didn't
have baby dolls, you know, and I didn't you know,
like if I had baby cousins, I enjoyed them my life.
I appreciated them, but I was never like, let me
hold the baby, right, you were like one of those
super maternal teenagers or like I wasn't. And of course
(08:21):
that made me nervous when I did start to get
to to the images where you're thinking about these things.
But that's part of it. And yeah, but I did.
I did always know that I would that I wanted
a family. I never had that whole like, oh but
what if I just, you know, maybe my path is other.
I always knew that family was going to be a
(08:42):
part of my path. I did too, I didn't even
though I tried. I like had one dinner out with
three couples who were in their sixties and didn't have kids,
and we're living this incredible life. And Adam and I
left and we were like, yeah, we sure we're going
to do. But it's like this weird guttural feeling I
saw like myself later in life, wanting someone to have
(09:04):
called me mom. Yeah that's nice, Yeah that's great. You
met your husband um Sean Sehn. Yeah, in college Shrieking
College in Chicago, University of Chicago. You've been married as
of March eight, two thousand eight, and very good. Did
(09:25):
you guys make a decision to try to get pregnant.
Was it an easy go for you? Did you know
when it was time? Yeah, this part of this part
of the story is probably like the part of the
story where a good percentage of the populace can totally
hate me for this because yeah, like it was. But
that's such a miracle as people got to bless that's awesome.
(09:46):
That's awesome. Yeah, well, you know what we did was
I had like that kind of shanna Ish experience too,
not with my boss, but I had but with one
fellow actress. You don't know, have you even met Julie Halston?
Do you know Julie Halston? No, she's amazing. You'll you'll
die and look. Yeah, she's she's just the coolest dreaking
broad Oh she's a fucking legend. The guy said, Okay,
(10:08):
she's a fucking legend. Okay, so what did she say?
So she and I were doing this monologue show written
by Nora Ephron and her sister Deelia, and um I
was married for a couple of years by then, and
you know we were we got our first dog, you know,
like we got the dog like a gateway drug. Dog
is a gateway drug. You can we keep something a
lot together. And Julie's me two decades my senior, and
(10:31):
so she's like, Conny, do you want to do this?
And I'm like, well, yeah, I want to have the
family Sunday. And she's like, I'm going to tell you
something and it's not going to be popular. Don't wait
because if you wait and you can't get it done,
it's going to be really expensive. Yeah. Wow, that's that's
(10:54):
not wrong, not wrong. And and she's like, you know,
anybody who waits for their career, like your career is
never going to feel ready. What's ready? Your career is
never going to feel done or like at that right?
Oh my god, you're right. And so that happened. And
then I did a job. I did a date, not
(11:16):
a day play, a recurring on this show, um to
her white collar Oh yeah, hottest dudever. What's his name?
Oh jeez, that guy's hot as health. Yes, okay, but
we had the woman doing my makeup, mad job. I
don't know what we were talking about, but she kind
of felt like it felt like out of the blue.
(11:37):
She's like, do you want a family to my kids?
And I was like, yeah, I'm thinking about it was
some day She's like, don't wait. I was like, whoa,
I just I just got that message like last week,
and now I'm getting it from you. You know. It
was one of those so like Sean and I were
driving to Miami from New York for fun Adorable. Yeah,
(11:58):
I think you were listening to my We pulled over
and made llobe jone. How I see what this podcast
is about? Yeah, I guess it must have been thirty
one when I said this. So I was like, well,
I've been on birth control since I was sixteen, so
I suppose it would be nice to not be on
(12:20):
birth control more than half of my life. I guess.
I guess we'll pull the goalie at thirty two. That's
that's how he did. How was pregnancy for you? Easy? Hard? Um,
(12:44):
relatively easy? I mean obviously emotionally, but yeah, like I
didn't have morning sickness my second I had like a
low level nausea for the first trimester, but nothing ever
to write home about whatsoever. And I never you know,
it wasn't morning sickness. I never had a morning sickness.
It's so great to hear because honestly, like I know,
(13:05):
you're like, oh, god, everyone everything went easy and sort
of like lovely. But that's also very good to hear
because we do a lot of podcasts about people struggling
and having a hard time, and there's also a lot
of podcasts where people were like it was great, Yeah, no,
my heart, my hard time was and I think you
know about this. My hard time was postpart yeah. Yeah.
(13:26):
So did you have postpartum depression with the first or
the second or both? And what did it look like
for you? Definitely first and then second. By then I
already had my therapist, I already knew kind of what
to look for. But it was I'll tell you, it
was more of an identity crisis, which, hello, I'm still
going through. Oh my god. I mean I think that's
(13:49):
going to just be forever. It's just midlife, honey. Did
you think it was an identity crisis to be a mom,
to be an actor? I thought it was. Know what
it was is because I knew I was done. I
knew I was done making them. The depressive thought was
basically like, well, if this is the peak, it like
it's all down here for me, Like there's that There
(14:11):
was just that sense that anybody who has chosen not
to have children would listen to that and be like,
oh you are you are nuts, Like, of course that's
not all there is, right, but when you've done the
labor thing, it just felt like a lot of now,
what how was your first labor um, first labor what? Well?
So I was induced both times. I was induced primarily
(14:33):
because my uters just quits it thirty six weeks. Whoa,
how do they know what comes back? Where they're like
we out ulso sown ultra done in weight check. So
they just like stopped growing and you're placenta sort of
poops out. Well it's not even that they call it
failure to thrive, but that's like a scary thing. But
(14:54):
that's you know, the kid hasn't grown from three six
to thirty eight, so your wombs not doing or anything
verres at this point, let's get her out. The first
time that happens, you got interesting, you know, a little
scary interesting. All these beautiful things labors really, you know,
we all have these gorgeous I mean not a gorgeous
but like the event of labor stories and birth stories.
So I had a miscarriage in between, and there's that
(15:15):
feeling when you have a miscarriage where you're like, I'm
never gonna stop trying. I'm just gonna try until night,
until everything's dried up, and then second, you know. With
my second pregnancy, it was a hard one. It was
I carried very low. I had to wear a belt
like from like four months. Like it was like crazy.
But but yeah, but it's um anyway, so we already.
(15:37):
But so I went in and then there was one
of these ultrasounds. I was thirty eight weeks sure enough,
Like the ultrasound was a long. I'm gonna check with
the doctor and she comes back and and I was like,
this has taken a while, and they're like, so she
hasn't grown since thirty six weeks, so we're gonna induce tomorrow.
I remember using the restroom and sort of set a
prayer to my eaters because I do that, and I'm like,
(16:03):
I hear you, you're done. If we can get through
this together, then I'll let you rest. I have such
goose bumps about that. Thank you. I don't know if
that's how I put it. The only other person there
is my uterus. Yeah, but like I tell people that
all the time. I used to speak to my uterus
and like vagina all the time during both of my pregnancies,
(16:24):
where I like, we're going to get through this together.
That always helped me to to sort of personify and
pray in a way. Some people don't like saying it's
a miracle because it happens every day, and I get that.
But you go into a room and is two, you
come out is three, Like that's what happens. That is wild.
I remember after having the baby, I was just like,
(16:46):
I'm this, this happened here, and I'm so grateful, just
so grateful. Is so crazy labor, No one knows how
it's gonna go. Yeah, it's like it's honestly, it's not
about you. Yes, you're doing it and that's so about you,
But like this, the thing that's happening is is a
(17:07):
divine thing that is that is up to that kid
and that differently whatever we call it. Yeah, I'm so
with you on that. Okay, So you're postpartum depression since
it was worse with Penelope? Did she she goes by
Penny right, Yeah, yeah, you so your postpart pression with
Penny did it did it present itself as more anxious
(17:30):
and panic attacks or did it present itself as like
a depressing like get out of bed, okay, obsessive thoughts,
that's mine. Yeah, once you go in and you do
the scale and you're like, oh, and how many days
out of fourteen have you cried? And how many days
out of fourteen could you not handle? It? Be like
four four but those days were off. I didn't medicate,
(17:52):
it was done just through talk therapy. Um, so great, Yeah,
which is great. But I so understand and as well
that sometimes the spectrum like it is a spectrum and
what this is what I don't like. I want that
language to change from if to when, because I think
that the if gives these high achieving moms like myself
(18:15):
and I think you too, the possibly this concept of
like oh I have such grace for those who have
gone through it, but but but maybe I'll avoid it,
meaning it won't happen to me. Oh. I was still like,
have you met me? I'm a very stable person. I've
never dealt with depression in my whole life, Like this
is not me. And then I started having obsessive thoughts
(18:37):
also that were very dark about my son and it's
switched on too hit the worst movie so talk Therapy
was hugely helpful to you, and your biggest advice to
yourself the second go around was that all of those
things were in place. Yeah. I have one of those
therapists who like, we'll let you graduate sometimes and then
she's like, but call me for a tune up, you know,
and you're like, I gotta do. Um. But then I did,
(19:00):
and I see her very regularly now um, but yeah,
it's um. Yeah. For me, it was the obsessive thoughts.
It feels like in Clockwork Orange when like they when
your eyes are being controlled and you have to see
the worst movie over and over and over again. I
also have PMDD what's that, premstrual dysphoric disorders, So it's
(19:22):
like it's basically just like PMS on you know more.
That sounds horrible. Well, the reason I figured it out
was because, you know again, I was on birth control
for my whole life, basically sixteen years for my whole
men's treating life. Right then I'm having babies, so your
hormones are cuckoo pants and so then I actually had
(19:44):
to get to know my actual cycle for the first
time since you were sixteen, which is like that wasn't
even so then you turn out you start getting real,
real flow periods that aren't like on hormone and you're like,
holy sh it. Yeah. So then I there was like
more like p MS times, which I always had it,
but like where it felt like like the post part
(20:06):
and I was like, oh, okay, sense though all the
sense in the world. Then it was like, okay, let's
tell me acupuncturists and let's get all the herb you know,
let's get the Chinese herbs and let's do you know.
Then it was let's find homeostasis for you. This is
the thing with like any kind of herbal healing is
like you know, you want to come to a place
of homeostasis, and so you have to watch it for
(20:28):
like maybe three months and you just have to observed
and that faith that like you're helping your body, you know,
with with this well being, because yeah, like basically the
chemical change with the hormones, that's the destabilizing part that
makes I'm learning so much because I just got my
like third period and I am not a period in
(20:49):
two and half years, because I am still breastfeeding, and
I I know, I don't know why I'm doing this.
This is the plan. I don't know, it's very weird.
She's my second and this is it it? Yeah, I
don't know what it is. Um. I thought I would
quit it a year, and then um, I was like,
you know what for inventing Anna? When we all go
(21:12):
to New York and we do this big, fancy premiere
and all this stuff, and then oh macrown and now
I'm home and so I'm like, Okay, well, I guess
I'm not going to wean for that because I was like,
I'm not pumping in New York. I'm not pumping in
New York. But now we're not going I'm not going
to New York. So I don't know what I'm doing
on that, but um, stay tuned. I want to hear
all about yours too, and I just you know, my god,
(21:33):
I'll tell you. I haven't got to ask you about
number two at all. Oh my god, it was so great.
My pregnancy was well, no, it was awful, and that
I had the worst. I mean, my labor was a joke.
I had harder. I've had harder workout classes like I meant,
and I pulled her out myself. It was great. My
postpartum depression was awful after number two or number. Yeah,
(21:56):
I had to go on medication. I've never been on
medication before. I've been in therapy for a hundred years,
but like it reached a level of I mean I
was having rolling panic attacks all day every day for
six weeks. And yeah, but I feel great now. I
feel so lucky because I do think parenting a four
(22:18):
year old and a one year old during these circumstances
has been very, very challenging. I have a very physically
active son, and um, it's just been isolating at times,
frustrating at times, scary at times. And I have to say,
just like being on an anti anxiety medication has made
me a better mom able to show up. That's because
(22:43):
I mean, I've never had more moms text me about
them being stressed out. I was having an eight year
old at a five year old. Right now, I feel
really lucky. I love my school. I love the school.
(23:03):
You know we're in public school. Is this the same
school they were going to? And they've been amazing, amazing,
I'm I'm so grateful. Tell me what the qualities are
that make it so great? As I'm sitting here looking
in elementary schools for my son, you know, um, they
love it, they care about it. With public schools, I
don't know how it is in California, but in New
(23:26):
York there are a lot of programs available. It's really
about researching the principle and knowing what they're about and
hearing what they have to say and seeing if the
gibes with what you did. We knew that this school
was good, so we actually, like, my god, our place
because of this zone. You're like, I need to find
a place to live so that they can go to
(23:46):
the school. Yeah, we were zoned for this. Anyway, Are
your girls um in personality similar? Drastically different? Not that
those are the only options. They dig each other. They're
really great. A means oh really yeah, and I think
you're a room ever since they can remember. I mean,
what's even most fun is lately just just about like
(24:07):
six months ago, we finally finally took the monitor out
because I was like, they need some privacy. I think
this is ridiculous. Oh how freaking cute. Okay, and then
the younger. So we have Penelope Joan is your oldest,
and we have Clara ELIZABETHA. Clara Elizabeth is your second ye.
But they're different, it's different. Tell me have your girls
(24:31):
seen my girl? No? Not yet. Now do you tell
them you're an actor? Yes? In fact, they just got
into rug grads, which is really sweet. And I actually,
I am really happy that it's happening this way because
for me it's really helpful. Um, that they're seeing me
do or they're hearing me do a job that I've
(24:52):
chosen to do myself, that I have a craft behind,
that I'm a grown up and this is my actual living.
We could do a other talk about childhood performance. Um.
This is one of my sopapboxes these days, because the
world is so trauma aware, and yet we still are
pretending that the psyches of child performers and I mean athletes, catalogs,
(25:17):
I mean kids who don't book. It can't even I
can't even imagine it. I can't even imagine what you
have been. I can't even imagined. Thank you. Yeah. And
I'm just gonna say like it was a really bad
week for me, not for anybody else. Everybody else has
their own life. Right When one of my eldest daughter's
friends started to be I saw my girl, you know,
(25:38):
like on the playground, and I just was like, like
I just I went into find it completely and I
was trying to but I'm also like all I am
is the mom to them, so I'm also have to
be really responsible and being like oh thank you, and
you know, but it was like it was a bad
week and how are they supposed to understand that? Yeah? No,
and and you know, mom, where can we watch it yet?
(25:59):
And I like you hands sometime, I just I need
to be ready. I need to think about some things
with therapy. I thought, you know, I had to think
about these things very much because I can't. I'm not
gonna be something who's gonna avoid it or like you know,
like you know, like life has to unfold as it does.
And I am proud of being an hector now you know. Um,
but like you said, when you were an adult and
you chose it, like you were also a child performer
(26:21):
and a child star, and then you left the business,
you went to college, you studied something else, you came
back to it. Full circle is a choose that you
made exactly, and they're a huge two different careers completely
and I had to go why why when I scared? Up? Right?
When am I scared? I haven't? And the bottom light
is I think most people who have gone through something
(26:43):
like this can speak to this. Some people have been
writing some great out eds about it. Marra Wilson wrote
one and Amber tam Wan wrote one, and I'm so
proud of them. And but basically, when that happened, my
entire family and friends and anybody had ever met completely changed,
completely changed. I didn't know anybody anymore. Um, anywhere you went,
(27:05):
if you just went to Christmas, you were there to
take pictures with people so that that you could be proven,
you know, like you just know. It was. It's a
weird version of like just losing everything you knew. And
so it made me realize, like, oh my god, I'm
terrified that my daughter will see me different, you know.
(27:26):
And like the bottom line is she will anyway, because
she's and she's gonna be nine and then she's gonna
be tent like she's gonna be different no matter what. Right,
But um, but I had to go through that. I
had to I had to do the self inquiry to go,
what what is this about? Otherwise we're just reacting? Right,
(27:47):
It's the um Alice Miller book, The John with the
Gifted Child, right, like if we're not aware that like
this stuff is mine and not that there's which was
why You're great, because you were like, well, first, what
I realized was that I was I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared.
It's you. Yeah. Yeah. Do they get screens? Do they
get no screens? I know you are not a social
(28:08):
media person. We have a two and a half our
screen time limit every day, and that's both iPads and TV. Really,
I kind of just keep track of it in twenty
mien in ingruents. If it's practicing music or whatever, or
if it's doing like homework, it doesn't count to the
two and a half, but we still need a screen break.
I'm not a social media person. That doesn't mean that
(28:29):
I'm gonna like forbid it for them someday, but I
am very much like listen, the Internet is basically of
portal to the rest of the world. Do you feel
like you're ready for me to just let you walk
out the door and meet somebody that you've never met
in Queens? No, mommy, no, Like, you don't know how
to get there, you don't have a way of getting
(28:51):
in touch with me, you don't know how to drive right.
And then she's like no, no, no, and I'm like
that's how you have to look at the Internet. So yeah,
there's a lot of just like three day little like
let's be careful, you know, because it's a very slippery slope. Yes,
And I also, you know, I was like in that
same vein of what we were talking about, like before,
(29:11):
as a child performer the week the Internet was like invented.
The week that they invented, like brought you into school
and they like built a computer lab and taught you
how to like type alta vista. I google myself and
the first thing that shows up is that I mean
this is my fourteen right, that I have a baby,
that I have a nose job. God, my first experience
(29:33):
with the Internet at all was being lied about. I
gotta tell you, in this day and age, what a gift.
I've never had the concept that like, well I read
it on the Internet, so it's got to be true.
It's right. The fact that you've always been like everyone
better checked their sources. Yeah that's because you read it,
doesn't mean it's true. That's never been a question to me,
(29:53):
like the internet has never been come on. But yes,
eyes just eyes like everything, you know, same thing, candy.
You can have a piece oh yeah. I gave my
son like a mini Snickers bar, which he calls a
sneakers bar. You know, at craft services there's all that crap,
and I don't have that really in my house. I'll
give him like the healthy version, like Justin's a butter bar.
(30:15):
But I came home the other night and I was like,
I have something a sneaker, a sneakers bar, and he
was like out of his mind. Would you travel with
them when you were shooting veep or they would stay
at home? Deep we always found somebody in the location. Um,
when I had the kids with when I had the
(30:36):
girls with me, but then once they got old enough
to be in school, I was the only one traveling,
which is still hard. I haven't done that yet. Talked
to me about the longest I've been away, and I
don't reckon it's not fun. But the longest I've been
in a way is two weeks Germany, which we did
for an Adelby. That was my my my longest having
(30:56):
been away. That was a that is a profound trip
just because of all things involved. Plus like your sequestor
didn't like the most gorgeous hotel like in Berlin looking
upon you know, history. How do you split responsibilities with
your husband? It's very very fifty fifty. I know. It's
like I don't know if if saying sinks in to
(31:18):
anybody in or Sean's really into, really really into being
a dad, Like he's really good at it, and um,
we basically find the stuff we're good at. Like going
to the grocery store stresses me out. It has to
be his favorite thing of the day, right, so like, great,
(31:39):
he gets the groceries. I cook them. So you guys
know your lanes and you stick sort of. Yeah, that's
pretty much, you know, and they work out and if
they don't work out that way, then you figure out
and you talk, you know, like getting up in the morning.
We I mean we do. We do it every other day.
Oh you do? That's so great. And if it's not,
like if like sometimes he'll go on an early hike
(31:59):
or something like that, and then it is me waking
them up there like where's daddy, and I'm like, well,
because they know it's his day. Oh that's so great.
I'm gonna convince you right now. I do. So I'm
the morning person, Adams the night person. So I do
mornings because that's my strongest, and it's a hardcore downhill
from there. And Adam loves nights and it is a
night owl when I'm like dying, He's really coming in
(32:21):
strong for books in bedtime and baths and getting them dressed.
And I'm really coming in strong with breakfast and vitamins
and getting out the door and packing your lunches and
like whatever. It's still dividing it. You know, it's yes,
and plan to your strengths. I think plan to your
strengths work. And also something I will say and I've
always I really loved we do we are date night? Like,
help me, We're fucked? When do you do it? When
(32:45):
we well, we do have Wednesdays, but sometimes because we
book sitters. That's always part of it. That's just always
part of it. I gotta get everyone listening, hold me
to it. I gotta go on a date night. Adam
Shapiro and I have not seen each other so lowly
in a odd awful long time. And then we'll have
like special occasions where like once every few months you'll
do something wonderful, but like that's not work. Event work
(33:08):
event does knot count to date night because you're on
and you're freaked out. Yeah, it's a totally different feel.
Finish this sentence. Parenthood is is the third first thing
I was going to say. The pause was me going
to I S privilege. The gift was the first thing.
(33:30):
I think that that's sort of been like thematically the
word of this episode. I I just think you like
you've had some really lovely thankfully you know, knock on WITHO,
like awesome gifts like just that. It's really great and
inspiring for people who are listening because there's a lot
of hardship out there. And that's not to say that
(33:52):
you haven't had a hard No, obviously you have, but
it's been in different areas of your life, not necessarily
the labor space or the right Yeah, and like I
was on oxygen and labor and stuff. But you know,
like you could, you could build a stressful story, but
I just I fail to see it that way. The
(34:13):
bad days are bad days. But I honestly the bottom
line is just thank God therapy. So that's the theme. Okay,
it's a gift and the gift of therapy and that
and here he got in alb do you remember here?
I know because she's talking to me. I know because
(34:35):
we actually have to go have dinner. Oh wait, look wait,
she wants to have her here. How did you guys
all get in here? Where's daddy? This is yes? Oh gosh,
everyone's going. Everyone listening. Vera did not exist when Anna
(34:57):
Glumpsey and I were shooting U. This is what you
can come down of February limit on screaming. It's on Netflix.
Oh my gosh. Thank you Anna so so much for
coming on Katie's Crib. And thank you guys for listening
(35:20):
to Katie's Crib. And I want to hear from you
as we continue with season five. What do you want
to talk about? Who do you want me to bring
on the show. Do you questions, comments, concerns, thoughts, ideas.
I want to hear from you. You can always get
me up at Katie's Grib at Shawonda land dot com.
Katie's Crib is a production of Shanda land Audio in
(35:41):
partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shanda
land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
in partnership with I Heart Radio. Have your Girls seen
My Girl? Not yet? Now we could do a whole
other talk about childhood performance. The world is so trauma aware,
and yet we still are pretending that the psyches of
(00:20):
child performers and I mean athletes who don't book. Oh,
it can't even Hi, guys, It's Katie Lows and welcome
back to Katie's Crib. Guys. It is season five, Baby,
(00:45):
How are you guys? Is everybody hanging in there? I mean,
can you believe that we're still in a pandemic? Or
is it an endemic or an epidemic? Now? I don't
even know. But for the past few months, we've definitely
been shifting towards a new normal. More places are starting
to open up again, more mask mandates are being lifted,
more people are out and about for me, um, some
(01:06):
opportunities have shown themselves, like I've got Inventing Anna that
just came out on Netflix. You can stream it. I'm
also in my first sitcom on CBS called How We Roll,
which comes out on marcht one. But one thing that
has not changed is the dedication that you guys have
seriously shown toward this podcast, and I want to thank
(01:26):
you guys so much from the bottom of my heart
for continuing to tune in each week and recommending it
to your friends our community. It just, man, it just
feels so honest and authentic to me, and I am
able to be so vulnerable with you guys about exactly
what I'm going through at the moment, and I just
really appreciate you all being there. I've learned so many
(01:47):
things about parenting through this podcast, talking to experts and
other parents who are going through the same journey. I've laughed,
I've cried, I've gone through a whole roller coaster of
emotions and I hope you all have to and I
cannot wait to ring you guys along with me for
the ride in this new season. I am so excited
about season five's very first guest. I am chatting with
(02:11):
the One, the Only, Anna Clumsky. So Anna and I
are on this new Netflix show called Inventing Anna and
the whole story it's told through her characters eyes. She
plays Vivian Kent, journalist. That's all I'm gonna tell you,
because you're just gonna have to watch and see what
I'm talking about. But let me just be the one
to tell you that she is so good in this part,
(02:33):
it's unbelievable. But she and I hadn't talked in quite
a while because there was a pandemic and shooting and
she lives in New York and I live in l
A and blah blah blah blah blah. But I really
just wanted to catch up. I wanted to know more
about her pregnancies, about her labors, how she's sharing her
acting career experience with her children, and so much more.
If you all don't know Anna Clumsky, are you living
under a rock? But here, let me tell you who
(02:55):
she is. You would probably know her as playing the
lead role of Veda in My Girl, which came out
in Night nine and then it had a prequel. Since then,
she's appeared in a number of things. She plays Amy
Brookheimer on the HBO television series Veep, which was incredible.
She's been on White Collar Law and Order, Special Victims Unit,
NBC's adaptation of Hannibal, etcetera, etcetera. Anna is married to
(03:18):
American military veteran and business executive Sean So The two
have two daughters, Clara and Penny. Thank you for coming
on Katie's Curb, Anna, and for being the very first
guest of season. Fact, I am so glad that you're
(03:39):
on this podcast right now. So Anna Clumsky Night, are
on this show called Invintiganax on Netflix. Have you've ever
heard of it? The whole story is told through I
guess through your character's eyes. Sure, I mean your framework. Yeah,
you know, I'm the Yeah, you're so fucking good in
(03:59):
this part, and you're so freaking good at all your parts.
But I mean, this is like ridiculous. Everyone needs to
watch what you do with that's very kind. Oh I
hope seriously, Oh my god, I don't see if I
don't have to do though. But what I think is
so cool is that when you first came on to
our first ever table read, and for you Scandal fans
(04:21):
listening to this podcast, you know that like our Scandal
table reads are like a very famous thing, and the
inventing Anta table reads were very similar, and that it
was really fun and exciting and like going at it
and all this stuff. And I just remember you walking
into the table read. You were just like a mom
of two and your kids are sort of bigger than mine.
(04:43):
What are they a little Yeah, I've got a little
bit of head start. Yeah, now minor eight and five.
Then it would have been six and three. Yes, So
when we were shooting the first time, we were shooting
Inventing Anna, because for those of you listening, we shot
Inventing in a pre pandemic during pandemic. See if you
can stop it too, you can for me and mice
(05:04):
after a baby, that's for sure, it's okay, it's fine.
Thank God for Shawn Um. And we're saying this because yes,
I shot half of the show before I got pregnant
with Vera. Then I got pregny with Vera, then I
had Vera, and then three months later. The whole Hollywood
gets your Body Back is not my story. It's still
(05:26):
not my story. She's over a year. I'm like, I'm sorry, guys,
we're human beings. Like I know, what I was gonna
say was when I saw you and met you, I
was like, holy sh it, you're such a full, real
person and a mom with a very full life. You
come on and you act the ship out of something.
(05:47):
But I had this feeling from you, like holy shit,
you are very involved in all aspects of being a
mom and being a wife and being a caretaker and
being an actress and being all the things that you do.
I just really looked up to you, and really I
and then I started like going down like a Google search,
and you really found out about me and you went
don't meet your heroes. But then it was like I was,
(06:10):
I was looking at you because you were on v
and winning Accolade after accolade, all these things, but you
were pregnant, you were post baby, pre baby, all these
things that it was just very inspiring as an actress
to see you rock that ship. Thanks for saying that,
because of course we you know, we never think we're
(06:32):
rocking anything, and so yes, And I was really fortunate
that when I was going through it, Julia Louis Dreyfus
was boss, you know, both on screen and off. I mean,
she was at the beginning of being able to say,
excuse me, I'm going to go ahead and do my
job and having my kids. Oh my god, can you
even imagine that? Oh yeah, oh yeah, Like she definitely
(06:54):
you know, tell me a few stories about that, and
had that that perspective, um, so really really valuable, really valuable.
I'm sure and I'm sure for you too going through it.
Carrie had gone through SA like. Shonda was the person
who literally sat me down and said, are you thinking
about having a family? And it was like the last
season of Scandal, and I said, I'm really thinking about
(07:16):
it and she said, well, I just want to let
you know that if I were you, I would have
it on my watch. And this is then this show
is not going to be on forever. And I like
went home and I was like, Adam, take off your pants.
So yeah, you're like Adam doesn't like to say. Shonda
was like in the room, but she was like basically
(07:37):
in there. That's amazing. So did you always want to
be a mom? Hey? You know, it's funny. I always
knew I wanted a family, and I always knew I
wanted kids. But when you get into the identity issue
of mom, I'll just say, yeah, I didn't know what
(07:59):
that was. Like, I didn't know, um, what that could be.
I'm in that category of people who, um, I didn't
have baby dolls, you know, and I didn't you know,
like if I had baby cousins, I enjoyed them my life.
I appreciated them, but I was never like, let me
hold the baby, right, you were like one of those
super maternal teenagers or like I wasn't. And of course
(08:21):
that made me nervous when I did start to get
to to the images where you're thinking about these things.
But that's part of it. And yeah, but I did.
I did always know that I would that I wanted
a family. I never had that whole like, oh but
what if I just, you know, maybe my path is other.
I always knew that family was going to be a
(08:42):
part of my path. I did too, I didn't even
though I tried. I like had one dinner out with
three couples who were in their sixties and didn't have kids,
and we're living this incredible life. And Adam and I
left and we were like, yeah, we sure we're going
to do. But it's like this weird guttural feeling I
saw like myself later in life, wanting someone to have
(09:04):
called me mom. Yeah that's nice, Yeah that's great. You
met your husband um Sean Sehn. Yeah, in college Shrieking
College in Chicago, University of Chicago. You've been married as
of March eight, two thousand eight, and very good. Did
(09:25):
you guys make a decision to try to get pregnant.
Was it an easy go for you? Did you know
when it was time? Yeah, this part of this part
of the story is probably like the part of the
story where a good percentage of the populace can totally
hate me for this because yeah, like it was. But
that's such a miracle as people got to bless that's awesome.
(09:46):
That's awesome. Yeah, well, you know what we did was
I had like that kind of shanna Ish experience too,
not with my boss, but I had but with one
fellow actress. You don't know, have you even met Julie Halston?
Do you know Julie Halston? No, she's amazing. You'll you'll
die and look. Yeah, she's she's just the coolest dreaking
broad Oh she's a fucking legend. The guy said, Okay,
(10:08):
she's a fucking legend. Okay, so what did she say?
So she and I were doing this monologue show written
by Nora Ephron and her sister Deelia, and um I
was married for a couple of years by then, and
you know we were we got our first dog, you know,
like we got the dog like a gateway drug. Dog
is a gateway drug. You can we keep something a
lot together. And Julie's me two decades my senior, and
(10:31):
so she's like, Conny, do you want to do this?
And I'm like, well, yeah, I want to have the
family Sunday. And she's like, I'm going to tell you
something and it's not going to be popular. Don't wait
because if you wait and you can't get it done,
it's going to be really expensive. Yeah. Wow, that's that's
(10:54):
not wrong, not wrong. And and she's like, you know,
anybody who waits for their career, like your career is
never going to feel ready. What's ready? Your career is
never going to feel done or like at that right?
Oh my god, you're right. And so that happened. And
then I did a job. I did a date, not
(11:16):
a day play, a recurring on this show, um to
her white collar Oh yeah, hottest dudever. What's his name?
Oh jeez, that guy's hot as health. Yes, okay, but
we had the woman doing my makeup, mad job. I
don't know what we were talking about, but she kind
of felt like it felt like out of the blue.
(11:37):
She's like, do you want a family to my kids?
And I was like, yeah, I'm thinking about it was
some day She's like, don't wait. I was like, whoa,
I just I just got that message like last week,
and now I'm getting it from you. You know. It
was one of those so like Sean and I were
driving to Miami from New York for fun Adorable. Yeah,
(11:58):
I think you were listening to my We pulled over
and made llobe jone. How I see what this podcast
is about? Yeah, I guess it must have been thirty
one when I said this. So I was like, well,
I've been on birth control since I was sixteen, so
I suppose it would be nice to not be on
(12:20):
birth control more than half of my life. I guess.
I guess we'll pull the goalie at thirty two. That's
that's how he did. How was pregnancy for you? Easy? Hard? Um,
(12:44):
relatively easy? I mean obviously emotionally, but yeah, like I
didn't have morning sickness my second I had like a
low level nausea for the first trimester, but nothing ever
to write home about whatsoever. And I never you know,
it wasn't morning sickness. I never had a morning sickness.
It's so great to hear because honestly, like I know,
(13:05):
you're like, oh, god, everyone everything went easy and sort
of like lovely. But that's also very good to hear
because we do a lot of podcasts about people struggling
and having a hard time, and there's also a lot
of podcasts where people were like it was great, Yeah, no,
my heart, my hard time was and I think you
know about this. My hard time was postpart yeah. Yeah.
(13:26):
So did you have postpartum depression with the first or
the second or both? And what did it look like
for you? Definitely first and then second. By then I
already had my therapist, I already knew kind of what
to look for. But it was I'll tell you, it
was more of an identity crisis, which, hello, I'm still
going through. Oh my god. I mean I think that's
(13:49):
going to just be forever. It's just midlife, honey. Did
you think it was an identity crisis to be a mom,
to be an actor? I thought it was. Know what
it was is because I knew I was done. I
knew I was done making them. The depressive thought was
basically like, well, if this is the peak, it like
it's all down here for me, Like there's that There
(14:11):
was just that sense that anybody who has chosen not
to have children would listen to that and be like,
oh you are you are nuts, Like, of course that's
not all there is, right, but when you've done the
labor thing, it just felt like a lot of now,
what how was your first labor um, first labor what? Well?
So I was induced both times. I was induced primarily
(14:33):
because my uters just quits it thirty six weeks. Whoa,
how do they know what comes back? Where they're like
we out ulso sown ultra done in weight check. So
they just like stopped growing and you're placenta sort of
poops out. Well it's not even that they call it
failure to thrive, but that's like a scary thing. But
(14:54):
that's you know, the kid hasn't grown from three six
to thirty eight, so your wombs not doing or anything
verres at this point, let's get her out. The first
time that happens, you got interesting, you know, a little
scary interesting. All these beautiful things labors really, you know,
we all have these gorgeous I mean not a gorgeous
but like the event of labor stories and birth stories.
So I had a miscarriage in between, and there's that
(15:15):
feeling when you have a miscarriage where you're like, I'm
never gonna stop trying. I'm just gonna try until night,
until everything's dried up, and then second, you know. With
my second pregnancy, it was a hard one. It was
I carried very low. I had to wear a belt
like from like four months. Like it was like crazy.
But but yeah, but it's um anyway, so we already.
(15:37):
But so I went in and then there was one
of these ultrasounds. I was thirty eight weeks sure enough,
Like the ultrasound was a long. I'm gonna check with
the doctor and she comes back and and I was like,
this has taken a while, and they're like, so she
hasn't grown since thirty six weeks, so we're gonna induce tomorrow.
I remember using the restroom and sort of set a
prayer to my eaters because I do that, and I'm like,
(16:03):
I hear you, you're done. If we can get through
this together, then I'll let you rest. I have such
goose bumps about that. Thank you. I don't know if
that's how I put it. The only other person there
is my uterus. Yeah, but like I tell people that
all the time. I used to speak to my uterus
and like vagina all the time during both of my pregnancies,
(16:24):
where I like, we're going to get through this together.
That always helped me to to sort of personify and
pray in a way. Some people don't like saying it's
a miracle because it happens every day, and I get that.
But you go into a room and is two, you
come out is three, Like that's what happens. That is wild.
I remember after having the baby, I was just like,
(16:46):
I'm this, this happened here, and I'm so grateful, just
so grateful. Is so crazy labor, No one knows how
it's gonna go. Yeah, it's like it's honestly, it's not
about you. Yes, you're doing it and that's so about you,
But like this, the thing that's happening is is a
(17:07):
divine thing that is that is up to that kid
and that differently whatever we call it. Yeah, I'm so
with you on that. Okay, So you're postpartum depression since
it was worse with Penelope? Did she she goes by
Penny right, Yeah, yeah, you so your postpart pression with
Penny did it did it present itself as more anxious
(17:30):
and panic attacks or did it present itself as like
a depressing like get out of bed, okay, obsessive thoughts,
that's mine. Yeah, once you go in and you do
the scale and you're like, oh, and how many days
out of fourteen have you cried? And how many days
out of fourteen could you not handle? It? Be like
four four but those days were off. I didn't medicate,
(17:52):
it was done just through talk therapy. Um, so great, Yeah,
which is great. But I so understand and as well
that sometimes the spectrum like it is a spectrum and
what this is what I don't like. I want that
language to change from if to when, because I think
that the if gives these high achieving moms like myself
(18:15):
and I think you too, the possibly this concept of
like oh I have such grace for those who have
gone through it, but but but maybe I'll avoid it,
meaning it won't happen to me. Oh. I was still like,
have you met me? I'm a very stable person. I've
never dealt with depression in my whole life, Like this
is not me. And then I started having obsessive thoughts
(18:37):
also that were very dark about my son and it's
switched on too hit the worst movie so talk Therapy
was hugely helpful to you, and your biggest advice to
yourself the second go around was that all of those
things were in place. Yeah. I have one of those
therapists who like, we'll let you graduate sometimes and then
she's like, but call me for a tune up, you know,
and you're like, I gotta do. Um. But then I did,
(19:00):
and I see her very regularly now um, but yeah,
it's um. Yeah. For me, it was the obsessive thoughts.
It feels like in Clockwork Orange when like they when
your eyes are being controlled and you have to see
the worst movie over and over and over again. I
also have PMDD what's that, premstrual dysphoric disorders, So it's
(19:22):
like it's basically just like PMS on you know more.
That sounds horrible. Well, the reason I figured it out
was because, you know again, I was on birth control
for my whole life, basically sixteen years for my whole
men's treating life. Right then I'm having babies, so your
hormones are cuckoo pants and so then I actually had
(19:44):
to get to know my actual cycle for the first
time since you were sixteen, which is like that wasn't
even so then you turn out you start getting real,
real flow periods that aren't like on hormone and you're like,
holy sh it. Yeah. So then I there was like
more like p MS times, which I always had it,
but like where it felt like like the post part
(20:06):
and I was like, oh, okay, sense though all the
sense in the world. Then it was like, okay, let's
tell me acupuncturists and let's get all the herb you know,
let's get the Chinese herbs and let's do you know.
Then it was let's find homeostasis for you. This is
the thing with like any kind of herbal healing is
like you know, you want to come to a place
of homeostasis, and so you have to watch it for
(20:28):
like maybe three months and you just have to observed
and that faith that like you're helping your body, you know,
with with this well being, because yeah, like basically the
chemical change with the hormones, that's the destabilizing part that
makes I'm learning so much because I just got my
like third period and I am not a period in
(20:49):
two and half years, because I am still breastfeeding, and
I I know, I don't know why I'm doing this.
This is the plan. I don't know, it's very weird.
She's my second and this is it it? Yeah, I
don't know what it is. Um. I thought I would
quit it a year, and then um, I was like,
you know what for inventing Anna? When we all go
(21:12):
to New York and we do this big, fancy premiere
and all this stuff, and then oh macrown and now
I'm home and so I'm like, Okay, well, I guess
I'm not going to wean for that because I was like,
I'm not pumping in New York. I'm not pumping in
New York. But now we're not going I'm not going
to New York. So I don't know what I'm doing
on that, but um, stay tuned. I want to hear
all about yours too, and I just you know, my god,
(21:33):
I'll tell you. I haven't got to ask you about
number two at all. Oh my god, it was so great.
My pregnancy was well, no, it was awful, and that
I had the worst. I mean, my labor was a joke.
I had harder. I've had harder workout classes like I meant,
and I pulled her out myself. It was great. My
postpartum depression was awful after number two or number. Yeah,
(21:56):
I had to go on medication. I've never been on
medication before. I've been in therapy for a hundred years,
but like it reached a level of I mean I
was having rolling panic attacks all day every day for
six weeks. And yeah, but I feel great now. I
feel so lucky because I do think parenting a four
(22:18):
year old and a one year old during these circumstances
has been very, very challenging. I have a very physically
active son, and um, it's just been isolating at times,
frustrating at times, scary at times. And I have to say,
just like being on an anti anxiety medication has made
me a better mom able to show up. That's because
(22:43):
I mean, I've never had more moms text me about
them being stressed out. I was having an eight year
old at a five year old. Right now, I feel
really lucky. I love my school. I love the school.
(23:03):
You know we're in public school. Is this the same
school they were going to? And they've been amazing, amazing,
I'm I'm so grateful. Tell me what the qualities are
that make it so great? As I'm sitting here looking
in elementary schools for my son, you know, um, they
love it, they care about it. With public schools, I
don't know how it is in California, but in New
(23:26):
York there are a lot of programs available. It's really
about researching the principle and knowing what they're about and
hearing what they have to say and seeing if the
gibes with what you did. We knew that this school
was good, so we actually, like, my god, our place
because of this zone. You're like, I need to find
a place to live so that they can go to
(23:46):
the school. Yeah, we were zoned for this. Anyway, Are
your girls um in personality similar? Drastically different? Not that
those are the only options. They dig each other. They're
really great. A means oh really yeah, and I think
you're a room ever since they can remember. I mean,
what's even most fun is lately just just about like
(24:07):
six months ago, we finally finally took the monitor out
because I was like, they need some privacy. I think
this is ridiculous. Oh how freaking cute. Okay, and then
the younger. So we have Penelope Joan is your oldest,
and we have Clara ELIZABETHA. Clara Elizabeth is your second ye.
But they're different, it's different. Tell me have your girls
(24:31):
seen my girl? No? Not yet. Now do you tell
them you're an actor? Yes? In fact, they just got
into rug grads, which is really sweet. And I actually,
I am really happy that it's happening this way because
for me it's really helpful. Um, that they're seeing me
do or they're hearing me do a job that I've
(24:52):
chosen to do myself, that I have a craft behind,
that I'm a grown up and this is my actual living.
We could do a other talk about childhood performance. Um.
This is one of my sopapboxes these days, because the
world is so trauma aware, and yet we still are
pretending that the psyches of child performers and I mean athletes, catalogs,
(25:17):
I mean kids who don't book. It can't even I
can't even imagine it. I can't even imagine what you
have been. I can't even imagined. Thank you. Yeah. And
I'm just gonna say like it was a really bad
week for me, not for anybody else. Everybody else has
their own life. Right When one of my eldest daughter's
friends started to be I saw my girl, you know,
(25:38):
like on the playground, and I just was like, like
I just I went into find it completely and I
was trying to but I'm also like all I am
is the mom to them, so I'm also have to
be really responsible and being like oh thank you, and
you know, but it was like it was a bad
week and how are they supposed to understand that? Yeah? No,
and and you know, mom, where can we watch it yet?
(25:59):
And I like you hands sometime, I just I need
to be ready. I need to think about some things
with therapy. I thought, you know, I had to think
about these things very much because I can't. I'm not
gonna be something who's gonna avoid it or like you know,
like you know, like life has to unfold as it does.
And I am proud of being an hector now you know. Um,
but like you said, when you were an adult and
you chose it, like you were also a child performer
(26:21):
and a child star, and then you left the business,
you went to college, you studied something else, you came
back to it. Full circle is a choose that you
made exactly, and they're a huge two different careers completely
and I had to go why why when I scared? Up? Right?
When am I scared? I haven't? And the bottom light
is I think most people who have gone through something
(26:43):
like this can speak to this. Some people have been
writing some great out eds about it. Marra Wilson wrote
one and Amber tam Wan wrote one, and I'm so
proud of them. And but basically, when that happened, my
entire family and friends and anybody had ever met completely changed,
completely changed. I didn't know anybody anymore. Um, anywhere you went,
(27:05):
if you just went to Christmas, you were there to
take pictures with people so that that you could be proven,
you know, like you just know. It was. It's a
weird version of like just losing everything you knew. And
so it made me realize, like, oh my god, I'm
terrified that my daughter will see me different, you know.
(27:26):
And like the bottom line is she will anyway, because
she's and she's gonna be nine and then she's gonna
be tent like she's gonna be different no matter what. Right,
But um, but I had to go through that. I
had to I had to do the self inquiry to go,
what what is this about? Otherwise we're just reacting? Right,
(27:47):
It's the um Alice Miller book, The John with the
Gifted Child, right, like if we're not aware that like
this stuff is mine and not that there's which was
why You're great, because you were like, well, first, what
I realized was that I was I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared.
It's you. Yeah. Yeah. Do they get screens? Do they
get no screens? I know you are not a social
(28:08):
media person. We have a two and a half our
screen time limit every day, and that's both iPads and TV. Really,
I kind of just keep track of it in twenty
mien in ingruents. If it's practicing music or whatever, or
if it's doing like homework, it doesn't count to the
two and a half, but we still need a screen break.
I'm not a social media person. That doesn't mean that
(28:29):
I'm gonna like forbid it for them someday, but I
am very much like listen, the Internet is basically of
portal to the rest of the world. Do you feel
like you're ready for me to just let you walk
out the door and meet somebody that you've never met
in Queens? No, mommy, no, Like, you don't know how
to get there, you don't have a way of getting
(28:51):
in touch with me, you don't know how to drive right.
And then she's like no, no, no, and I'm like
that's how you have to look at the Internet. So yeah,
there's a lot of just like three day little like
let's be careful, you know, because it's a very slippery slope. Yes,
And I also, you know, I was like in that
same vein of what we were talking about, like before,
(29:11):
as a child performer the week the Internet was like invented.
The week that they invented, like brought you into school
and they like built a computer lab and taught you
how to like type alta vista. I google myself and
the first thing that shows up is that I mean
this is my fourteen right, that I have a baby,
that I have a nose job. God, my first experience
(29:33):
with the Internet at all was being lied about. I
gotta tell you, in this day and age, what a gift.
I've never had the concept that like, well I read
it on the Internet, so it's got to be true.
It's right. The fact that you've always been like everyone
better checked their sources. Yeah that's because you read it,
doesn't mean it's true. That's never been a question to me,
(29:53):
like the internet has never been come on. But yes,
eyes just eyes like everything, you know, same thing, candy.
You can have a piece oh yeah. I gave my
son like a mini Snickers bar, which he calls a
sneakers bar. You know, at craft services there's all that crap,
and I don't have that really in my house. I'll
give him like the healthy version, like Justin's a butter bar.
(30:15):
But I came home the other night and I was like,
I have something a sneaker, a sneakers bar, and he
was like out of his mind. Would you travel with
them when you were shooting veep or they would stay
at home? Deep we always found somebody in the location. Um,
when I had the kids with when I had the
(30:36):
girls with me, but then once they got old enough
to be in school, I was the only one traveling,
which is still hard. I haven't done that yet. Talked
to me about the longest I've been away, and I
don't reckon it's not fun. But the longest I've been
in a way is two weeks Germany, which we did
for an Adelby. That was my my my longest having
(30:56):
been away. That was a that is a profound trip
just because of all things involved. Plus like your sequestor
didn't like the most gorgeous hotel like in Berlin looking
upon you know, history. How do you split responsibilities with
your husband? It's very very fifty fifty. I know. It's
like I don't know if if saying sinks in to
(31:18):
anybody in or Sean's really into, really really into being
a dad, Like he's really good at it, and um,
we basically find the stuff we're good at. Like going
to the grocery store stresses me out. It has to
be his favorite thing of the day, right, so like, great,
(31:39):
he gets the groceries. I cook them. So you guys
know your lanes and you stick sort of. Yeah, that's
pretty much, you know, and they work out and if
they don't work out that way, then you figure out
and you talk, you know, like getting up in the morning.
We I mean we do. We do it every other day.
Oh you do? That's so great. And if it's not,
like if like sometimes he'll go on an early hike
(31:59):
or something like that, and then it is me waking
them up there like where's daddy, and I'm like, well,
because they know it's his day. Oh that's so great.
I'm gonna convince you right now. I do. So I'm
the morning person, Adams the night person. So I do
mornings because that's my strongest, and it's a hardcore downhill
from there. And Adam loves nights and it is a
night owl when I'm like dying, He's really coming in
(32:21):
strong for books in bedtime and baths and getting them dressed.
And I'm really coming in strong with breakfast and vitamins
and getting out the door and packing your lunches and
like whatever. It's still dividing it. You know, it's yes,
and plan to your strengths. I think plan to your
strengths work. And also something I will say and I've
always I really loved we do we are date night? Like,
help me, We're fucked? When do you do it? When
(32:45):
we well, we do have Wednesdays, but sometimes because we
book sitters. That's always part of it. That's just always
part of it. I gotta get everyone listening, hold me
to it. I gotta go on a date night. Adam
Shapiro and I have not seen each other so lowly
in a odd awful long time. And then we'll have
like special occasions where like once every few months you'll
do something wonderful, but like that's not work. Event work
(33:08):
event does knot count to date night because you're on
and you're freaked out. Yeah, it's a totally different feel.
Finish this sentence. Parenthood is is the third first thing
I was going to say. The pause was me going
to I S privilege. The gift was the first thing.
(33:30):
I think that that's sort of been like thematically the
word of this episode. I I just think you like
you've had some really lovely thankfully you know, knock on WITHO,
like awesome gifts like just that. It's really great and
inspiring for people who are listening because there's a lot
of hardship out there. And that's not to say that
(33:52):
you haven't had a hard No, obviously you have, but
it's been in different areas of your life, not necessarily
the labor space or the right Yeah, and like I
was on oxygen and labor and stuff. But you know,
like you could, you could build a stressful story, but
I just I fail to see it that way. The
(34:13):
bad days are bad days. But I honestly the bottom
line is just thank God therapy. So that's the theme. Okay,
it's a gift and the gift of therapy and that
and here he got in alb do you remember here?
I know because she's talking to me. I know because
(34:35):
we actually have to go have dinner. Oh wait, look wait,
she wants to have her here. How did you guys
all get in here? Where's daddy? This is yes? Oh gosh,
everyone's going. Everyone listening. Vera did not exist when Anna
(34:57):
Glumpsey and I were shooting U. This is what you
can come down of February limit on screaming. It's on Netflix.
Oh my gosh. Thank you Anna so so much for
coming on Katie's Crib. And thank you guys for listening
(35:20):
to Katie's Crib. And I want to hear from you
as we continue with season five. What do you want
to talk about? Who do you want me to bring
on the show. Do you questions, comments, concerns, thoughts, ideas.
I want to hear from you. You can always get
me up at Katie's Grib at Shawonda land dot com.
Katie's Crib is a production of Shanda land Audio in
(35:41):
partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shanda
land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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