Making Yourself A Better Companion

  Note: The picture in the featured image is my 100-year-old dad holding my 92-year-old mother's hand as she lay dying. She passed from this life on April 4, 2024. They were married for 73 years, a testimony to the power of companionship. Companion / Companionship a person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time a feeling of fellowship or friendship Do you want to be alone with yourself? And if not, then why do you think anybody else would ever want to be around you? What is it about you that might be off-putting? Or unsafe? Let's begin with a word, EFFORT. It's the thing we can all control. It's the igniter in the combustion chamber of success. Whether it's relationships - companionship, or some other pursuit - if we put in enough effort, we can always ensure our growth. Hard work may not result in an absolute win, but it will result in personal growth. The kind of growth that can impact every aspect of our life. “Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”         ― Helen Keller In recent weeks I've talked a lot about my challenges with having too many spinning plates. This goes directly to EFFORT, which means we need to discuss another word, CAPACITY. There is a limit to our effort because our time is limited. And our ability is limited, too. Time is easy to measure. It's definite. Ability may be impossible to measure. I suspect we're all severely limited by our mind thinking "this is all I've got," when in reality, we can do more. Evidence of such things is the Navy Seal training and many other physical/mental challenges that people regularly conquer. The person who wants to run their first marathon may quit thinking it's too hard. But those who go on to run their first learn they're more able than they thought. Those who quit are convinced it just wasn't something within their reach. Like Henry Ford famously said... “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't --- you're right.” What if we believed - truly believed - we were more able? I have asked hundreds of executives, business owners, and other leaders a simple question: "Would you say that most of your dreams have come true?" 100% of them answer, "Yes." That doesn't mean every dream was achieved. Or that they've got no more dreams left to chase. It just means they achieved most of the things they set out to achieve. After they've weighed in, I'll then say, "Makes you wonder what kind of potential we're leaving on the floor, huh?" What if we dreamed bigger? What if we chased something seemingly impossible for us? Our lives seem to be proving to us that we might be able to achieve most things we pursue. Why shouldn't we reach for more? And why shouldn't we help others reach for more? Time is easier. Daily we say YES and NO. Daily we may say yes to things we'd rather say no to. We may also say no to things we'd really like to say yes to. All these decisions impact our time. They determine our calendar. And our calendar - those things we answer wrongly - determines our resentment and bitterness. Suppose I say yes to an invitation I'd rather say no to. Maybe I'm cowardly in the moment. Maybe I'm too worried about hurt feelings. Not my own, but the person inviting me. Maybe social pressures are in play. But for some reason, I give the wrong answer and now this dreaded event is on my calendar. Who is served by my wrong answer? Not me. Not my inviter. Nobody else in my sphere. Because I'm going to dread it and it'll certainly impact my demeanor and behavior. That doesn't mean I have to behave hatefully. I can certainly make the decision that's ideal in a polite way. I can be gracious and thank the person for inviting me,