August 10, 2025 • 33 mins
Birthdays suck. So does perimenopause and PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) -- but at the end of the day, life is gonna life.
Join us August 19th at AMC Madison Yards in Atlanta for a FREE screening of the new movie, "Honey Don't" starring Aubrey Plaza, Margaret Qualley, Chris Evans and Charlie Day.
Click HERE to enter to win guaranteed seats for the August 19th screening!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.
Join us August 19th at AMC Madison Yards in Atlanta for a FREE screening of the new movie, "Honey Don't" starring Aubrey Plaza, Margaret Qualley, Chris Evans and Charlie Day.
Click HERE to enter to win guaranteed seats for the August 19th screening!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'm Ali.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I came out after twenty years of marriage and I
have three kids.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This podcast is.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
About coming out later and the struggles and victories.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That come with it.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
When coming out feels like the end of the world,
but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles,
where the first rule of birthdays is don't talk aboubby.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
I don't talk about birthdays. You know, it's just a
thing that happens once a year.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
It's a really touchy subject for me, I know.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
But it's also an accomplishment, you know, is it? What
is It's a privilege.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It's a privilege.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
But it's like, you're healthy, you've survived this far. Yeah,
not a lot of people can say that.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay, but you know, yeah, you're.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Not part of the twenty seven club. You know what
that is? No?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
What the hell's that?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Like? Jimmy Hendrix, I think Jim Morrison too, Like basically yeah, yeah,
Amy Winehouse, they all like died at twenty seven, I.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Know, but it's like they were drug addicts.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I'm like, I know, but I'm just saying, like they
didn't get to live this long.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Okay, so ground to me for.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
It's an accomplishment.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I know.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I gotta say, like, I don't know that I've had enough.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I'm scared to even put this in the universe.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
But like it's never been so bad that I would
be like taking drugs to that extreme.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
No, Yeah, I mean I've had a few close calls
where I'm like the next morning and like I probably
should have died last night.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Do you ever look back at like when you were
a kid and I'm like, I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
The ship we were doing.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
We would go to these horrific neighborhoods and like score
pot and like end up in these like crazy places,
like just these school girls.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
With licenses, you know, drunk in the middle of a
field at two am, totally like and your mom thinks
you're spending the night at your friends.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yes, and I was, Yeah, this was my whole childhood.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Like one time Tom and I we were outside of
a bar in Florida and this guy was stuck in
the sand. His car was stuck, and we were like,
we're going to help you. We start pushing on the
front of the car to get his car unstuck, and
then Tom notices that the car is not in reverse,
it is in drive, and thank god he realized it,
(02:37):
and thank god we didn't dislodge the car. But we
realized this dude's drunk. We're drunk too, and we were like,
you know what, like what a cab instead. But I'm like, dude, like,
had he actually gotten unstuck, he would have ran over us. Man,
It's one of those things where I'm like, dude, like
that would have been. It was not smart, not smart
(02:58):
at all, and I could have been really bad.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
So I know, do you ever think too, Like as
much as our kids now are exposed to so much more,
I got in way worse trouble. It's like, why is
that I went? I spent the night in jail in
high school? Oh my god, I ran from the police
like Chase foot Chase from the police, like my kids,
(03:20):
No way, I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Maybe this last one.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Why were you in jail?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I was in jail from the foot race.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh my god, So they caught you.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
They did catch me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I don't like when you run.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
They don't like when you run.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
They don't like when you run in a quote unquote
stolen car in the middle of the night.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
And back then there were no remember how.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Like you would take your phone off the hook so
it wouldn't ring, huh, like if your friends were gonna
call you or like whatever.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Oh you called three three three film, so then you
could call, and then it went and ring in your house,
oh the other line.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
See I didn't even know about three three three film.
So I had the phone off the hook because I
was out gallivanting with my friends Heather actually the arm rubber.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Heather, the arm rubber.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I was out with Heather, the arm rubber.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And yeah, so I'd taken the phone off the hook.
So even when I got taken to jail, they couldn't
even get in touch with my parent.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
I go.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
So I was there forever till my parents woke up
and like realized the phone was off the hook and
I was missing.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
So you would take the phone off the hook just
in case anyone did call your house and you didn't
want your parents knowing that you had left. Yeah, okay,
I got you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
So, like if somebody called at midnight and then my
parents are like, wait what yeah, yeah, that was the
play man.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I actually got the phone call when my brother was
arrested and he was around like eighteen or nineteen, and
how old were you? I was like fifteen sixteen?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Oh wait, why did you get the call?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Because you picked up I picked up the phone because
I thought it was for me, and it was like
the middle of the night. So I'm like hello, and
it's his friend and she's like, Brent got arrested. And
I was like I don't want to know this.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, oh yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And I didn't want to go wake up my parents,
but I was like, I know who does, so shit
went and told my sister, woke her up, and she
practically skipped down the hallway wait could she wait? Wait?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Exactly so bad.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
So it's like, yeah, if you don't want to deliver
bad news, just telling your older sister, oh, she will
happily do it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Oh my god, that is hilarious.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I was so in love with Heather that back then
that I remember the next morning when my parents did
come to get me, Heather was there too. We both
got arrested and the boys we were with got arrested.
Everybody got arrested, but Heather. I threw this big fit
of like, I'm not leaving without Heather.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I'm staying.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
My mom's like, get your ass out here, but I'm like, no,
I'm waiting for Heather's mom to come.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I'm not leaving her. My loyalty started very early.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
That is hilarious. I know, I know where's Heather now?
Is she gay?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Who knows? Who the hell knows? You know?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
God, it's like with social media now, I'm like, I
feel like you can find that kind of stuff out,
but then some people, like you don't see it all
on social you know what.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I think I might have tried, and like, I think
her last name is different now and it's been so long.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It showed up on my Facebook just last night of
people I may know, and it was my boyfriend from
the eighth grade I have not seen in forever, and
I swear to you. I looked at him and I like,
had he walked past me on the street and never
in a million years would have recognized this guy. It
was so weird to see. I almost said my friend request,
(06:31):
but then I was like, you know what, he probably
doesn't remember me. I don't know, but it was God Like,
what a blast from the past, you know, I know, but.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Wait, and the fact that you didn't recognize, like you
wouldn't have recognized I recognized the name, Like, but isn't
that like such a dude, Like you changed that much?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I mean we dated. I was in the eighth grade
and he was in the ninth grade. That was thirty
years ago. Yeah, yeah, thirty years ago.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah yeah, damn, dude.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It's wild. It's rough out there, but I feel like
I look relatively the same or similar.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I need to see a picture so of him or me.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
You.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I know that I've gotten older. I accept it.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I can show you. We'll pull something up.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Although I do remember having and I love this about her,
But I have this friend who gets no skincare done
at all, and anytime I see her, like, she won't
get botox, fillers, lasers, nothing, And every time I see her,
I always think like, what if I had just like
never done one thing?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Really, So she looks good, she looks.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Fine, but I mean she definitely has she looks her age.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah, I mean, that's just it. It's like I've told you
about the trend on TikTok right now where people are like,
how do I look? Yeah, and people are tearing others apart,
and I'm like so mean. It is so mean, and
that's just it. It's like not everybody wants to go
put shit in their face.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And they shouldn't have to.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
They shouldn't have to.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I know, I don't. I hate it.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Like I didn't start doing it until I was in forty. Actually,
I just it's like sixteen.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh yeah, you look very I would know you on
the street. Yeah, yep, yeah she was really pretty. Guys,
Oh thanks, Yeah. I think I talked to somebody today
about how like I think, like I have some friends
who they don't care about any of it. Like it's
like it's almost like it's so refreshing, Like they'll show
up in just an outfit. That's like they are they
(08:28):
don't care at all.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Like it's just not I think it's a gift. It's
a fucking gift, like to not think that way.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Don't even worry about what you put on.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
We've talked about this. I think a lot of it
is how we were raised to care about appearance so much,
and it's like it's this inherent thing that I can't
get rid of.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I can't get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And my my parents are this way like, it is
what it is.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
It is what it is, and yeah, I go get
botox maybe once twice a year. I think today I
went and got some done and I was like, do
very like, do not give me disport because I want
to be able to make facial expression, you know they.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Say like some people, like a lot of my friends
are like frozen. I want it totally.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, that's what he told me. He was like, it's
kind of like a preference thing. He's like noted that
you don't like it, you know, But I was like, yeah,
my face, I felt like I couldn't move it for
like tw months.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
The only time I did it where I was like
this was a huge mistake is when I did it
in my upper lip, not to puff them out, but
like to get the little lines on my lip. And
I remember thinking this was a massive mistake.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, that can be like around your face. There's so
many nerves around your face, around your mouth, there's so
many nerves. It's really dangerous to have it done around there.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
We only did hurt, but I looked like a fool.
I couldn't like drink out of a straw, Like I
was like.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Oh my god, remove your mouth.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So ridiculous, dude, But we better get into our topic.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Man, So it's brutal out there.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
It's rough out in these streets on the streets. Actually
it's I'm not out in these streets. I'll clarify that
I do. I am fully like, I'm okay, I'm just
gonna be alone for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Do you think that like as we talk about, like,
you know, you go through a calendar month and there's
like three or four days that I'm pretty wrecked emotionally anyway,
Like I'm just like, I'm not feeling my best. I'm
not gonna be great in a meeting. I'm gonna have anxiety.
And then I know it's related to my hormones. I
just live in it and I move on. Like, do
you feel like the feeling you're having now of like
(10:25):
cause you seem so much more at peace now than
you did even a week ago.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yea, what is that? Like?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Why? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I think it is partly that I'm like out of
that like hormonal state. Okay, you know, I think a
lot of it is also just processing. I also haven't
drank in eight days.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Okay, So that's something to think about.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Yeah, that's another thing.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
But do you want to talk Like I know you've
talked publicly and you can take this out if you
want to. But about PMDD feeling like this is something
that is likely you have how many days like for
other people listening, like how many days does that last?
And like do you know you're in it enough to
say like this too shall pass?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
This is a that's just it. It's like it's such
a new thing for me, Like I can kind of
pinpoint that it started happening about a year ago, okay
or year and a half ago, just really hard mood swings, yeah,
deep deep sadness like or I'm just like I could
care less if I like wake up tomorrow, you know,
like that, and it's just out of my norm and
(11:25):
it'll last for about three to five days. But I
will say I still can't pinpoint, like I can't tell
myself when it's happening, Like I can reflect back now
and know that it was happening about three weeks ago.
But even in that moment those three weeks ago, I
was like looking up on my period tracker app and
trying to because I had the brief thought of like
(11:46):
am I in one of these episodes? But then I
talked myself out of it.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Is it every month?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Yeah, okay, and some are worse than others, but I've
started I'd like, I tried to do birth control to
see if that helped. Yeah, it did not. In my
periods like fucking outrageous, okay. And then now I'm taking
zoloft to just kind of manage the emotional side of it.
And I think because I was on the zoloft I
couldn't That was one of the reasons why I couldn't
(12:12):
pinpoint that's what was happening. And again, a pull up
my period tracker, and it was like I was twenty
something days late, and so I was like, who knows
what's happening to me right now? It's also under a
tremendous amount of stress.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, my house, you are perimenopausal.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Like I'm perimental, pausal. I was supposed to be doing
a comedy show that weekend that I was not prepared for.
I had to back out of. I never do that,
So it was just like, in that moment, I could
not tell myself though, this is what's happening. Yeah, it
was just stress in my face and it took me
once my period happened I was like, oh, now it
(12:46):
makes sense, you know. So it is kind of a
weird thing. And we did have I think one or
two emails from people saying that they've had similar experiences
with it, and they were like, yeah, I was out
of my skull and I didn't know why. And it's
one of those things that I never I always felt
like you can't blame PMS for being moody. I was
just kind of like, I know, it's kind of like
because it's a joke men make. It's a joke min made,
(13:09):
and it's like a bullshit.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I always patriarchy. I'm looking at my son while I
say this.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Right, I like, I don't know. And I never had
extreme PMS symptoms, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I know I've known you a long time now, like
I don't remember. It has gotten worse.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Yeah, And and so it's like I never had strong PMS.
It was never moody. I barely had cramps.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah, And now in.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
The periods recently, I'm having cramps so bad that I
am like breathing through the pain, Like this feels like labor,
Like we know that's hormone.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah. So it's like clearly you're.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
In it, right, Yeah, and I also was rediagnosed again
with having fibroids. It's another thing, like I've got to
have that taken care of. So it's just a lot
of bullshit. I'm forty four years old, you know. And
it's kind of interesting because like my dog is going
through puberty and I'm like, I'm right there with you.
It was like puberty all over again. But honestly a
(14:07):
little bit more confusing because I feel like I never
heard about this stuff before, you.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Know too, Like I think your daughter gets grace of
acting like an idiot because she's young and she's going
through puberty and she's has her mommy there and like
cushion everything. It's like to go through that in a
magnified way as PMDD. There's no mom anymore that's rubbing
your back and telling you you're right, and it's like inexcusable.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Yeah, people give you no grace exactly to be down
and out.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
It's just like, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with you? Versus like we wouldn't talk to
a twelve year old girl.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Like that exactly. And on top of that, just dealing
with life stress. You know, I think about my life
when I was in my twenties and before kids, and
it was like Okay, I wake up and I go
to work. You know, I go for a run.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Like I had my husband.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
You know, it's nothing. My life was so easy. Now
I'm like, you know, we've got I've got work, I've
got kids, the kids just starting school, the podcast, all
the events we have coming up. Yeah, like it's all
this shit.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
That good stress.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
It's good stress. I'm happy about it. But I'm also
and buying a house like Jesus Christ. You know, It's
it's a lot, and it becomes really hard to manage,
especially in a PMDD episode.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Absolutely does. It makes you kind of say like I
don't want to do anything. I need to just like
buckle down and I'm like leave me, give me alone.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
And I mean I just kind of I've I've learned
to embrace that side of myself though now like I'm
totally fine with being at home, you know, Like I said,
I've I've taken a break from drinking just because I realized,
like this is kind of like making me more anxious. Yeah,
so many people say that, Yeah it does. After I
contribute to your anxiety and I don't need any additional
(15:58):
stress right now. Like I'm not quitting for I'm just
taking a little break while I get through this hardship.
You know, I think that's so smart. It's like control
what you can. There's like a lot of things we
can't control. Things I can control, or at least somewhat control,
or sleep what I drink.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Like sleep is my thing.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Like if I don't get sleep, I'm a wreck. Same,
I'm hyper about it.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And did you grow up in a household where you
were like shamed for sleeping? Oh yeah, yeah, same, And
that's just I'm like, can my daughter, I'm like, sleep please.
You're growing, you're changing, you need sleep right And it's
like I've been shamed by my family, you know, people
that I've dated like that I sleep too much. But
(16:43):
I'm like, dude, I work weird hours. I don't always
get a consistent amount of sleep, and it feels good
to me. It's healthy, it's good.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It absolutely is.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
So I am I embrace that.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, especially you because your schedule.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Is like, dude, it's a whacko.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Wacko versus Like I go to bed every night at
ten thirty, I'm up every morning at the same time,
I'm so consistent.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
That it's like clockwork, yeah unless we.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Have something, and then even then I am conscious about it.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, I'm so jealous of that lifestyle. Like it sounds
amazing to me to be like I'm going to bed
at ten o'clock every night.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Every night, like every night.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
The new thing that I do, which I used to
like read before bed and.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That would help.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
But I what I'm finding now is I do watch
a show like I've gotten to where like I really
look forward to, which is this is actually new for
me because remember when I told you it feels weird
to watch TV alone, Like that was a sadness after
my breakup of like I don't even want to get
into a show because I'm I don't want to be
alone in bed watching this show. But that has become
(17:45):
kind of another tool for me, is like I give
myself fifteen to thirty minutes of a show before bed,
in the dark, in my cozy bed.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Really really lovely. I have such a.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Hard time right now getting into TV. I was watching
The Queer Ultimatum, but that got to be triggery for me.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
You didn't do the Hunting Wives.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
No, I haven't done that yet. I was thinking about
that one, but yeah, I'm like, I don't know. I
can't like relax enough right now to watch something, but
maybe soon, so I'll see the show that recommendations.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
The show i'm way into is well, actually, someone told
me about high Town.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
They're like, you're gonna love high Town.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
The other one that I'm into is Untamed on Netflix
more because it's like a gorgeous scenery out west and
so it's like I'm just sucked in. But The Hunting
Wives was recommended by our friend e W to me
and I loved it at first, and then I got
like too campy for me, okay, and so I kind
(18:44):
of just like checked out.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
But it was I can see where it's you mixed it, okay, right,
it's super gay.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, yeah, I will check that out. I need something
good to watch.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But let's go back to your situation.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
So you're you're lighter now, you think because you're stopping
during like what else.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Has led to just.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Kind of starting to feel I know you're not over anything.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
No, no, not at all.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
There's a piece about you today.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Yeah, I think I'm just kind of like, what's in
my control is in my control. What's not is not,
you know. And I've said I've journaled a lot. I've
been talking a lot to some friends, and I think
that's been one of the most helpful things, talking to you,
like just kind of like processing, yeah, processing and just
(19:32):
being like, you know, this sucks. I hate I hate
that I'm in this space again of going through another breakup.
It breaks my heart that I'm like losing another person
that I really care about, and like I've had a
lot of loss in my life for the past few years.
But I also just know that I have I can't
sit here and wallow in my sadness.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
No, I don't. That doesn't do anyone any good.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Or I just have to heal my heart too, Like
this is another thing to heal and that sucks, But
I also can't just bury it.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
No, And don't you think like each time it's like
you're getting closer to the truth. Yeah, It's just like
these lessons come in swaths of like here's another huge lesson,
and now you level up and you show up differently
for the next the next thing, Right, I mean, I
don't I think there's so much growth in that, you know,
(20:25):
I watch it even with my children. Yeah, Like I
think it takes these relationships. Doctor Jamie said that, like
it's a mirror back to you of your work, and
like you can choose to do it or you can
just go through your life never doing it.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
You are somebody who does it.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I do it, and I do it over over again,
and that's yours exactly. Yeah, And like I still am
in the process of owning stuff and reflecting and all
that stuff. But I also know that I'm a good person.
I forget I can come and like give concrete information
to the people that I've been with and in the
(20:59):
way and own you know, take accountability. And I think
about that a lot that I don't wait to do that,
you know. Like I think I might have mentioned this
on the podcast, but like my catalyst last fall sent
me an email apologizing, I mean apologizing, like hitting all
(21:20):
these things that she had done very validate took years later,
but it took years for me to get that years,
you know, And for me, I'm just like I'm not
going to sit here and take years to take accountability
for stuff, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
So it doesn't do you any good because it's just
like you're showing up with the same fucking problems, right,
and we all have them. Like I think that's the
other thing is I think a lot of times when
people are like giving advice or they're like the truth
is like everybody's healing something. I mean, we talked about this.
If you're not healing something, there's what you need.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
No one's perfect at all. I just sat here on
the way up here. I listened to the Mel Robbins podcast.
She interviewed Chelsea Hamler, who has a new book out
which I really want to read. And Chelsea Handler was
talking about how taking accountability and healing herself and you know,
getting to this place in her life where she can
(22:11):
let go of the past and let go of the
her Her brother died when she was like nine. Wow,
and she was like, I held on to this anger
about my brother dying because I felt like he left
me right, you know, but really, I mean the guy
couldn't control it. You know, he didn't leave on purpose,
and it's it's one of the it was. It was
a really good, like eye opening episode to listen to.
(22:33):
Definitely recommend it. But you know, she is talking a
lot about how she was not fun to be around
sometimes because she was holding onto the this anger.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Do you ever think about that too?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Like, I've met so many people in my life that
are like victims of their past, right, And it's like
there's two kinds of women, Like there's the woman who's
got all these things that that happened to me quote unquote,
and they'll rattle them off and they're really terrible, and
it's like, yeah, like it's horrible, No wonder why you're
like this. But then that they choose to like kind
(23:05):
of convert that to their identity of like almost like
I'm the martyr of all these problems that my parents
did this or this happened and this happened, and it's
like I everybody has a cross that they bared under there,
and so you can choose to go through your life
with this burden and that's going to be your identity
and that's cool if that's what you want to do,
(23:27):
or like Chelsea, it sounds like you can put it
down and be like, dude, we're all just doing My
parents did the best they could exactly, and the body
of work is fucking good.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Yeah, And that's another thing I had a really solid
conversation with my mom.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I loved that that was the best, Like, you.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Know, I wasn't expecting to do it. I would They
just kind of came up. We haven't talked on the
phone and well over a month now. I used to
talk to my mom every day.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, on the phone, damn.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
And over the years our relationship has become strained. Won't
go into a lot of details outside of to say
we have differing opinions on political views and it's been hard.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
That's another thing that I count as a loss lately.
You know, the last few years my relationship with my
parents has been damage. And we had a really honest
conversation with each other, and it was also like, you know,
we both cried, like there was a lot of honesty said,
and also but like love there, you know, like I
(24:29):
love my mom.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
She loves me.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
She you know, even validated my sexuality in ways that
she really hasn't before, saying like I we knew you
were different, you know, we knew you were a tomboy,
but we didn't really think about the gay thing. And
then once you came out, it was like, oh, that
makes sense, and of course you were gay as a kid.
We just didn't see it, you know, And it wasn't
(24:52):
as clear. It's not as obvious as someone like you
know that is very masculine lesbian of course, you know,
so it wasn't on their now. But also she's like,
we love you, you know, we don't care.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
And everybody shows it differently.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Your mom, like liking my posts is a way that
she's saying, I accept you, Melissa, because she's accepting me, Like,
I think you have to, Like, you can choose to
look for the evidence that they suck, or you can
choose to look for the evidence that they're great. Yeah,
And I think that's where I start to I meet
people and I can see right away they're they're looking
for evidence.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Of why the world is against them.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
It's like, okay, well then the world's going to be
against you, because that's what you're going to find. If
I go look for everybody who hopes I fail, I'll
find it.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
If I look for evidence for people rooting for me
and things working out, I'm going to find that too.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah. And so I think, like you went.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Into that conversation kind of looking for evidence of goodness
and it's fucking there.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah. Yeah, And just knowing that, like I was able
to talk to her in an honest way, Yeah, in
a gentle.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Way that Yeah, yeah, you don't need to angry.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Yeah, I wasn't angry about it. I just told her,
you know, like, it's it's hard to talk to you sometimes,
and I love you, but it's hard. Yeah, you're scary
in these ways. Yeah, so that was really that's taken
a lot off of me.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I feel like, yeah, so maybe that's also why you
feel kind of peaceful right now.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I mean it's just life is going to life, you know, and.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I guess that's it.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It's like, if we made it this far, there's so
many opportunities in the situation you're in right now, it's
just another one of it. You're going to level up,
and who knows what the future holds. There's so much
hope there. I think that's when people get in trouble,
is when they start to lose hope on what's around
the corner, what's next.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And I feel like you have a lot of hope.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
And I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah you know.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yeah, Like a few years ago, it was like I
got out of a relationship and I was like, oh
my god, Like, what's that like? I got to find
another one. I don't care. Right now, I've got solid
people behind me. I one hundred percent fine with being alone,
showing up to events alone, like spending.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Well, she is the mayor of Atlanta.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I am the mayor of us. So funny you mentioned this.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
It's kind of easy to show up alone when you're
the mayor.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Get this, Okay, So as you know, I'm learning how
to DJ, and you in order to DJ, you have
to buy your music. Well, I am a thrifty person,
and I knew that I have all these CDs that
I've owned since I was in middle and high school college,
and I was like, I'm going to pull the music
off these CDs and put them on so smart on
a little disk drive thing. I couldn't find my fucking CDs.
(27:36):
I tore my house apart the other day.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I kid still have them?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
How laughing at me, dude, It's one of those things
that I've hung on too, like I've gotten rid of
everything else in my life. I still have DVDs too, though, damn,
but that's more so of like if I lose Wi Fi,
I have entertainment. Okay, So anyway, I'm looking for these
CDs can't find them. I'm going through all my shit
and I find this T shirt that my friend had
(28:01):
made for me in like twenty sixteen, fifteen, and it
says on the front Melissa for mayor.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Oh my god, you need we need that, And then on.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
The back it has a picture of me dressed as
Snooky from Halloween that says, I party like you pregame,
that's amazing, it's a fantastic show.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
It's actually kind of a it was a foreshadowing.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I guess, so, so what is to come. I didn't
wear it because they wanted me to wear it to
like a beer event at like a beer festival in
Peachtree City, and I was like, I'm worried people are
gonna think I'm like, legit serious that I'm running for mayor.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, and I don't want to yeah yeah, yeah, and
I don't mean yeah Petree City, Like there's a lot
of moms here.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Yeah, it feels a little awkward.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's very easy for you, though, to show up alone.
I said this the other day. I'm getting to wear
I can like most places in at least this area,
Like if I go out, I feel safe going by myself,
Like I could walk in and I'm going to know
a few familiar people.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, but I think that's been a growth moment. Like
I don't love to do that.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I'm also okay with not going.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Ah, that's the best that is. Now, that's the trifact
that is.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, Like I am okay with not going. Like I
don't have plans tomorrow night that there was supposed to
be helping out with Second Friday that got canceled. So
I'm just gonna chill at home. I'm gonna write, I'm
gonna teach message how to DJ.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yes, catch up. We need you for the Urban Pie
takeover part right.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I know, I'm like so nervous. I'd like, I don't know.
DJing is way harder than I anticipated. You're gonna be great,
But I'm like, okay, if I can just fade in
and out, Yeah, you're gonna I really need to know
how to do. So.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Should we tell everybody about the movie screening?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, this is another like exciting thing that we've got
on our plate. We are hosting a screening for the
movie Honey Don't, which has my girlfriend in it. You know,
we're gonna have to do get out over this. But
I want to say that. I think it was our
first episode we ever record, and you asked me my
celebrity crush, and I said Aubrey Plaza.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I think I might have said her, should we go back?
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Maybe we need to we need to go back, because
I remember you saying your friend in La lives near
her right. Yes, but this was years ago, so maybe
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
But yeah, I'm like, I know that woman is just
I fell hard in White Lotus more for her White
Lotus character personality, like she's such a like pain in
the ass and the best fucking way.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah that I was like, weigh in.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So anyway, when they asked us to do the screening
and it's Aubrey Plaza, we were like, hell fucking yeah,
we cannot wait to do it. And so tell him
about like the deeds.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
She also plays a lesbian like in the movie. In
the movie, yeah, so like me to say anything else.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, Aubrey Plaza lesbian. The movie is Honey, don't it's
screening in Atlanta August nineteenth.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
When does it actually come out?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
I think it comes out August twenty second. Okay, So
we're hosting a screening at Madison Yards in Atlanta. Yep, free,
but it is first come, first served, so I'm sure
it's gonna sell out. Get there early, get your seats.
But we also have the inn on some seats.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Giving away to five different people pair of tickets, so yeah,
ten total total to five different people.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
And the way that you can enter to win this
is comment on one of our posts yep, tag honey
don't in that post, but also follow honey don't on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
That's right, and we.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Are going to randomly pick five different people from that
and you will get two tickets to the screening and
guaranteed seats.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Guaranteed seats. We'll be there, we cannot wait. Madison Yards,
August nineteenth.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
That's going to be a blast.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
And even if you end up not getting in, I
think it's going to be fun just to show up
for the screening because there'll be tons of gay women there, right,
lots of gay women exactly. So we'll be posting about it,
so stay tuned.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And we also have another event that we're still working
out the details, but we've mentioned it before. October eighteenth
in Seattle. We're doing a live event.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yes, we're gonna have a sex therapist.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Yeah, We're gonna have a little mix and mingle beforehand,
so people can you can meet lesbians and you know,
it doesn't matter if you're late in life, what age, whatever.
We're inviting everybody but Ali and I are going to
do a Q and A. We're going to talk. We're
gonna have sex therapist on. It's gonna be a whole weekend,
(32:33):
Total Blast fun in Seattle.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Other activities.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
It's just gonna be a fun lesbian weekend in Seattle.
We're gonna have a block of rooms at a hotel.
The hotel looks amazing. Yes, Total Blast weekend of October eighteenth,
to just kind of mark your calendar and come out.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
It's gonna be it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
This is really our first ever live real like live
event and other.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Cities, so come out because it's the inaugural.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah that's right.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, all right, have a good one. Bye.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I I want to support the Lesbian Chronicles podcast. Rate
us and write a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
We'd love listener feedback.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
If you'd like to share your story, email us at
Melissa and Ali at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
That's Melissa, M. E. L. I. S A and Ali
a L l I
Speaker 2 (33:21):
At gmail dot com or follow us on Instagram at
Lesbian Chronicles
I'm Ali.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I came out after twenty years of marriage and I
have three kids.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This podcast is.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
About coming out later and the struggles and victories.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That come with it.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
When coming out feels like the end of the world,
but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles,
where the first rule of birthdays is don't talk aboubby.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
I don't talk about birthdays. You know, it's just a
thing that happens once a year.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
It's a really touchy subject for me, I know.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
But it's also an accomplishment, you know, is it? What
is It's a privilege.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It's a privilege.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
But it's like, you're healthy, you've survived this far. Yeah,
not a lot of people can say that.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay, but you know, yeah, you're.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Not part of the twenty seven club. You know what
that is? No?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
What the hell's that?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Like? Jimmy Hendrix, I think Jim Morrison too, Like basically yeah, yeah,
Amy Winehouse, they all like died at twenty seven, I.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Know, but it's like they were drug addicts.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I'm like, I know, but I'm just saying, like they
didn't get to live this long.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Okay, so ground to me for.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
It's an accomplishment.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I know.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I gotta say, like, I don't know that I've had enough.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I'm scared to even put this in the universe.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
But like it's never been so bad that I would
be like taking drugs to that extreme.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
No, Yeah, I mean I've had a few close calls
where I'm like the next morning and like I probably
should have died last night.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Do you ever look back at like when you were
a kid and I'm like, I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
The ship we were doing.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
We would go to these horrific neighborhoods and like score
pot and like end up in these like crazy places,
like just these school girls.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
With licenses, you know, drunk in the middle of a
field at two am, totally like and your mom thinks
you're spending the night at your friends.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yes, and I was, Yeah, this was my whole childhood.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Like one time Tom and I we were outside of
a bar in Florida and this guy was stuck in
the sand. His car was stuck, and we were like,
we're going to help you. We start pushing on the
front of the car to get his car unstuck, and
then Tom notices that the car is not in reverse,
it is in drive, and thank god he realized it,
(02:37):
and thank god we didn't dislodge the car. But we
realized this dude's drunk. We're drunk too, and we were like,
you know what, like what a cab instead. But I'm like, dude, like,
had he actually gotten unstuck, he would have ran over us. Man,
It's one of those things where I'm like, dude, like
that would have been. It was not smart, not smart
(02:58):
at all, and I could have been really bad.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
So I know, do you ever think too, Like as
much as our kids now are exposed to so much more,
I got in way worse trouble. It's like, why is
that I went? I spent the night in jail in
high school? Oh my god, I ran from the police
like Chase foot Chase from the police, like my kids,
(03:20):
No way, I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Maybe this last one.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Why were you in jail?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I was in jail from the foot race.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh my god, So they caught you.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
They did catch me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I don't like when you run.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
They don't like when you run.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
They don't like when you run in a quote unquote
stolen car in the middle of the night.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
And back then there were no remember how.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Like you would take your phone off the hook so
it wouldn't ring, huh, like if your friends were gonna
call you or like whatever.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Oh you called three three three film, so then you
could call, and then it went and ring in your house,
oh the other line.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
See I didn't even know about three three three film.
So I had the phone off the hook because I
was out gallivanting with my friends Heather actually the arm rubber.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Heather, the arm rubber.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I was out with Heather, the arm rubber.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And yeah, so I'd taken the phone off the hook.
So even when I got taken to jail, they couldn't
even get in touch with my parent.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
I go.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
So I was there forever till my parents woke up
and like realized the phone was off the hook and
I was missing.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
So you would take the phone off the hook just
in case anyone did call your house and you didn't
want your parents knowing that you had left. Yeah, okay,
I got you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
So, like if somebody called at midnight and then my
parents are like, wait what yeah, yeah, that was the
play man.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I actually got the phone call when my brother was
arrested and he was around like eighteen or nineteen, and
how old were you? I was like fifteen sixteen?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Oh wait, why did you get the call?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Because you picked up I picked up the phone because
I thought it was for me, and it was like
the middle of the night. So I'm like hello, and
it's his friend and she's like, Brent got arrested. And
I was like I don't want to know this.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, oh yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And I didn't want to go wake up my parents,
but I was like, I know who does, so shit
went and told my sister, woke her up, and she
practically skipped down the hallway wait could she wait? Wait?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Exactly so bad.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
So it's like, yeah, if you don't want to deliver
bad news, just telling your older sister, oh, she will
happily do it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Oh my god, that is hilarious.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I was so in love with Heather that back then
that I remember the next morning when my parents did
come to get me, Heather was there too. We both
got arrested and the boys we were with got arrested.
Everybody got arrested, but Heather. I threw this big fit
of like, I'm not leaving without Heather.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I'm staying.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
My mom's like, get your ass out here, but I'm like, no,
I'm waiting for Heather's mom to come.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I'm not leaving her. My loyalty started very early.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
That is hilarious. I know, I know where's Heather now?
Is she gay?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Who knows? Who the hell knows? You know?
Speaker 3 (05:54):
God, it's like with social media now, I'm like, I
feel like you can find that kind of stuff out,
but then some people, like you don't see it all
on social you know what.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I think I might have tried, and like, I think
her last name is different now and it's been so long.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It showed up on my Facebook just last night of
people I may know, and it was my boyfriend from
the eighth grade I have not seen in forever, and
I swear to you. I looked at him and I like,
had he walked past me on the street and never
in a million years would have recognized this guy. It
was so weird to see. I almost said my friend request,
(06:31):
but then I was like, you know what, he probably
doesn't remember me. I don't know, but it was God Like,
what a blast from the past, you know, I know, but.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Wait, and the fact that you didn't recognize, like you
wouldn't have recognized I recognized the name, Like, but isn't
that like such a dude, Like you changed that much?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
I mean we dated. I was in the eighth grade
and he was in the ninth grade. That was thirty
years ago. Yeah, yeah, thirty years ago.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah yeah, damn, dude.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It's wild. It's rough out there, but I feel like
I look relatively the same or similar.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I need to see a picture so of him or me.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
You.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I know that I've gotten older. I accept it.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I can show you. We'll pull something up.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Although I do remember having and I love this about her,
But I have this friend who gets no skincare done
at all, and anytime I see her, like, she won't
get botox, fillers, lasers, nothing, And every time I see her,
I always think like, what if I had just like
never done one thing?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Really, So she looks good, she looks.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Fine, but I mean she definitely has she looks her age.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah, I mean, that's just it. It's like I've told you
about the trend on TikTok right now where people are like,
how do I look? Yeah, and people are tearing others apart,
and I'm like so mean. It is so mean, and
that's just it. It's like not everybody wants to go
put shit in their face.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And they shouldn't have to.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
They shouldn't have to.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I know, I don't. I hate it.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Like I didn't start doing it until I was in forty. Actually,
I just it's like sixteen.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh yeah, you look very I would know you on
the street. Yeah, yep, yeah she was really pretty. Guys,
Oh thanks, Yeah. I think I talked to somebody today
about how like I think, like I have some friends
who they don't care about any of it. Like it's
like it's almost like it's so refreshing, Like they'll show
up in just an outfit. That's like they are they
(08:28):
don't care at all.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Like it's just not I think it's a gift. It's
a fucking gift, like to not think that way.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Don't even worry about what you put on.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
We've talked about this. I think a lot of it
is how we were raised to care about appearance so much,
and it's like it's this inherent thing that I can't
get rid of.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I can't get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And my my parents are this way like, it is
what it is.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
It is what it is, and yeah, I go get
botox maybe once twice a year. I think today I
went and got some done and I was like, do
very like, do not give me disport because I want
to be able to make facial expression, you know they.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Say like some people, like a lot of my friends
are like frozen. I want it totally.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, that's what he told me. He was like, it's
kind of like a preference thing. He's like noted that
you don't like it, you know, But I was like, yeah,
my face, I felt like I couldn't move it for
like tw months.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
The only time I did it where I was like
this was a huge mistake is when I did it
in my upper lip, not to puff them out, but
like to get the little lines on my lip. And
I remember thinking this was a massive mistake.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, that can be like around your face. There's so
many nerves around your face, around your mouth, there's so
many nerves. It's really dangerous to have it done around there.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
We only did hurt, but I looked like a fool.
I couldn't like drink out of a straw, Like I
was like.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Oh my god, remove your mouth.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So ridiculous, dude, But we better get into our topic.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Man, So it's brutal out there.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
It's rough out in these streets on the streets. Actually
it's I'm not out in these streets. I'll clarify that
I do. I am fully like, I'm okay, I'm just
gonna be alone for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Do you think that like as we talk about, like,
you know, you go through a calendar month and there's
like three or four days that I'm pretty wrecked emotionally anyway,
Like I'm just like, I'm not feeling my best. I'm
not gonna be great in a meeting. I'm gonna have anxiety.
And then I know it's related to my hormones. I
just live in it and I move on. Like, do
you feel like the feeling you're having now of like
(10:25):
cause you seem so much more at peace now than
you did even a week ago.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yea, what is that? Like?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Why? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I think it is partly that I'm like out of
that like hormonal state. Okay, you know, I think a
lot of it is also just processing. I also haven't
drank in eight days.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Okay, So that's something to think about.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Yeah, that's another thing.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
But do you want to talk Like I know you've
talked publicly and you can take this out if you
want to. But about PMDD feeling like this is something
that is likely you have how many days like for
other people listening, like how many days does that last?
And like do you know you're in it enough to
say like this too shall pass?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
This is a that's just it. It's like it's such
a new thing for me, Like I can kind of
pinpoint that it started happening about a year ago, okay
or year and a half ago, just really hard mood swings, yeah,
deep deep sadness like or I'm just like I could
care less if I like wake up tomorrow, you know,
like that, and it's just out of my norm and
(11:25):
it'll last for about three to five days. But I
will say I still can't pinpoint, like I can't tell
myself when it's happening, Like I can reflect back now
and know that it was happening about three weeks ago.
But even in that moment those three weeks ago, I
was like looking up on my period tracker app and
trying to because I had the brief thought of like
(11:46):
am I in one of these episodes? But then I
talked myself out of it.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Is it every month?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Yeah, okay, and some are worse than others, but I've
started I'd like, I tried to do birth control to
see if that helped. Yeah, it did not. In my
periods like fucking outrageous, okay. And then now I'm taking
zoloft to just kind of manage the emotional side of it.
And I think because I was on the zoloft I
couldn't That was one of the reasons why I couldn't
(12:12):
pinpoint that's what was happening. And again, a pull up
my period tracker, and it was like I was twenty
something days late, and so I was like, who knows
what's happening to me right now? It's also under a
tremendous amount of stress.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, my house, you are perimenopausal.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Like I'm perimental, pausal. I was supposed to be doing
a comedy show that weekend that I was not prepared for.
I had to back out of. I never do that,
So it was just like, in that moment, I could
not tell myself though, this is what's happening. Yeah, it
was just stress in my face and it took me
once my period happened I was like, oh, now it
(12:46):
makes sense, you know. So it is kind of a
weird thing. And we did have I think one or
two emails from people saying that they've had similar experiences
with it, and they were like, yeah, I was out
of my skull and I didn't know why. And it's
one of those things that I never I always felt
like you can't blame PMS for being moody. I was
just kind of like, I know, it's kind of like
because it's a joke men make. It's a joke min made,
(13:09):
and it's like a bullshit.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
I always patriarchy. I'm looking at my son while I
say this.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Right, I like, I don't know. And I never had
extreme PMS symptoms, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I know I've known you a long time now, like
I don't remember. It has gotten worse.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Yeah, And and so it's like I never had strong PMS.
It was never moody. I barely had cramps.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah, And now in.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
The periods recently, I'm having cramps so bad that I
am like breathing through the pain, Like this feels like labor,
Like we know that's hormone.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah. So it's like clearly you're.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
In it, right, Yeah, and I also was rediagnosed again
with having fibroids. It's another thing, like I've got to
have that taken care of. So it's just a lot
of bullshit. I'm forty four years old, you know. And
it's kind of interesting because like my dog is going
through puberty and I'm like, I'm right there with you.
It was like puberty all over again. But honestly a
(14:07):
little bit more confusing because I feel like I never
heard about this stuff before, you.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Know too, Like I think your daughter gets grace of
acting like an idiot because she's young and she's going
through puberty and she's has her mommy there and like
cushion everything. It's like to go through that in a
magnified way as PMDD. There's no mom anymore that's rubbing
your back and telling you you're right, and it's like inexcusable.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Yeah, people give you no grace exactly to be down
and out.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
It's just like, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with you? Versus like we wouldn't talk to
a twelve year old girl.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Like that exactly. And on top of that, just dealing
with life stress. You know, I think about my life
when I was in my twenties and before kids, and
it was like Okay, I wake up and I go
to work. You know, I go for a run.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Like I had my husband.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
You know, it's nothing. My life was so easy. Now
I'm like, you know, we've got I've got work, I've
got kids, the kids just starting school, the podcast, all
the events we have coming up. Yeah, like it's all
this shit.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
That good stress.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
It's good stress. I'm happy about it. But I'm also
and buying a house like Jesus Christ. You know, It's
it's a lot, and it becomes really hard to manage,
especially in a PMDD episode.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Absolutely does. It makes you kind of say like I
don't want to do anything. I need to just like
buckle down and I'm like leave me, give me alone.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
And I mean I just kind of I've I've learned
to embrace that side of myself though now like I'm
totally fine with being at home, you know, Like I said,
I've I've taken a break from drinking just because I realized,
like this is kind of like making me more anxious. Yeah,
so many people say that, Yeah it does. After I
contribute to your anxiety and I don't need any additional
(15:58):
stress right now. Like I'm not quitting for I'm just
taking a little break while I get through this hardship.
You know, I think that's so smart. It's like control
what you can. There's like a lot of things we
can't control. Things I can control, or at least somewhat control,
or sleep what I drink.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Like sleep is my thing.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Like if I don't get sleep, I'm a wreck. Same,
I'm hyper about it.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And did you grow up in a household where you
were like shamed for sleeping? Oh yeah, yeah, same, And
that's just I'm like, can my daughter, I'm like, sleep please.
You're growing, you're changing, you need sleep right And it's
like I've been shamed by my family, you know, people
that I've dated like that I sleep too much. But
(16:43):
I'm like, dude, I work weird hours. I don't always
get a consistent amount of sleep, and it feels good
to me. It's healthy, it's good.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It absolutely is.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
So I am I embrace that.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, especially you because your schedule.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Is like, dude, it's a whacko.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Wacko versus Like I go to bed every night at
ten thirty, I'm up every morning at the same time,
I'm so consistent.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
That it's like clockwork, yeah unless we.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Have something, and then even then I am conscious about it.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, I'm so jealous of that lifestyle. Like it sounds
amazing to me to be like I'm going to bed
at ten o'clock every night.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Every night, like every night.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
The new thing that I do, which I used to
like read before bed and.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That would help.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
But I what I'm finding now is I do watch
a show like I've gotten to where like I really
look forward to, which is this is actually new for
me because remember when I told you it feels weird
to watch TV alone, Like that was a sadness after
my breakup of like I don't even want to get
into a show because I'm I don't want to be
alone in bed watching this show. But that has become
(17:45):
kind of another tool for me, is like I give
myself fifteen to thirty minutes of a show before bed,
in the dark, in my cozy bed.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Really really lovely. I have such a.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Hard time right now getting into TV. I was watching
The Queer Ultimatum, but that got to be triggery for me.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
You didn't do the Hunting Wives.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
No, I haven't done that yet. I was thinking about
that one, but yeah, I'm like, I don't know. I
can't like relax enough right now to watch something, but
maybe soon, so I'll see the show that recommendations.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
The show i'm way into is well, actually, someone told
me about high Town.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
They're like, you're gonna love high Town.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
The other one that I'm into is Untamed on Netflix
more because it's like a gorgeous scenery out west and
so it's like I'm just sucked in. But The Hunting
Wives was recommended by our friend e W to me
and I loved it at first, and then I got
like too campy for me, okay, and so I kind
(18:44):
of just like checked out.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
But it was I can see where it's you mixed it, okay, right,
it's super gay.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, yeah, I will check that out. I need something
good to watch.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But let's go back to your situation.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
So you're you're lighter now, you think because you're stopping
during like what else.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Has led to just.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Kind of starting to feel I know you're not over anything.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
No, no, not at all.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
There's a piece about you today.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Yeah, I think I'm just kind of like, what's in
my control is in my control. What's not is not,
you know. And I've said I've journaled a lot. I've
been talking a lot to some friends, and I think
that's been one of the most helpful things, talking to you,
like just kind of like processing, yeah, processing and just
(19:32):
being like, you know, this sucks. I hate I hate
that I'm in this space again of going through another breakup.
It breaks my heart that I'm like losing another person
that I really care about, and like I've had a
lot of loss in my life for the past few years.
But I also just know that I have I can't
sit here and wallow in my sadness.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
No, I don't. That doesn't do anyone any good.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Or I just have to heal my heart too, Like
this is another thing to heal and that sucks, But
I also can't just bury it.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
No, And don't you think like each time it's like
you're getting closer to the truth. Yeah, It's just like
these lessons come in swaths of like here's another huge lesson,
and now you level up and you show up differently
for the next the next thing, Right, I mean, I
don't I think there's so much growth in that, you know,
(20:25):
I watch it even with my children. Yeah, Like I
think it takes these relationships. Doctor Jamie said that, like
it's a mirror back to you of your work, and
like you can choose to do it or you can
just go through your life never doing it.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
You are somebody who does it.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I do it, and I do it over over again,
and that's yours exactly. Yeah, And like I still am
in the process of owning stuff and reflecting and all
that stuff. But I also know that I'm a good person.
I forget I can come and like give concrete information
to the people that I've been with and in the
(20:59):
way and own you know, take accountability. And I think
about that a lot that I don't wait to do that,
you know. Like I think I might have mentioned this
on the podcast, but like my catalyst last fall sent
me an email apologizing, I mean apologizing, like hitting all
(21:20):
these things that she had done very validate took years later,
but it took years for me to get that years,
you know, And for me, I'm just like I'm not
going to sit here and take years to take accountability
for stuff, you know.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
So it doesn't do you any good because it's just
like you're showing up with the same fucking problems, right,
and we all have them. Like I think that's the
other thing is I think a lot of times when
people are like giving advice or they're like the truth
is like everybody's healing something. I mean, we talked about this.
If you're not healing something, there's what you need.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
No one's perfect at all. I just sat here on
the way up here. I listened to the Mel Robbins podcast.
She interviewed Chelsea Hamler, who has a new book out
which I really want to read. And Chelsea Handler was
talking about how taking accountability and healing herself and you know,
getting to this place in her life where she can
(22:11):
let go of the past and let go of the
her Her brother died when she was like nine. Wow,
and she was like, I held on to this anger
about my brother dying because I felt like he left
me right, you know, but really, I mean the guy
couldn't control it. You know, he didn't leave on purpose,
and it's it's one of the it was. It was
a really good, like eye opening episode to listen to.
(22:33):
Definitely recommend it. But you know, she is talking a
lot about how she was not fun to be around
sometimes because she was holding onto the this anger.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Do you ever think about that too?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Like, I've met so many people in my life that
are like victims of their past, right, And it's like
there's two kinds of women, Like there's the woman who's
got all these things that that happened to me quote unquote,
and they'll rattle them off and they're really terrible, and
it's like, yeah, like it's horrible, No wonder why you're
like this. But then that they choose to like kind
(23:05):
of convert that to their identity of like almost like
I'm the martyr of all these problems that my parents
did this or this happened and this happened, and it's
like I everybody has a cross that they bared under there,
and so you can choose to go through your life
with this burden and that's going to be your identity
and that's cool if that's what you want to do,
(23:27):
or like Chelsea, it sounds like you can put it
down and be like, dude, we're all just doing My
parents did the best they could exactly, and the body
of work is fucking good.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Yeah, And that's another thing I had a really solid
conversation with my mom.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I loved that that was the best, Like, you.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Know, I wasn't expecting to do it. I would They
just kind of came up. We haven't talked on the
phone and well over a month now. I used to
talk to my mom every day.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, on the phone, damn.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
And over the years our relationship has become strained. Won't
go into a lot of details outside of to say
we have differing opinions on political views and it's been hard.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
That's another thing that I count as a loss lately.
You know, the last few years my relationship with my
parents has been damage. And we had a really honest
conversation with each other, and it was also like, you know,
we both cried, like there was a lot of honesty said,
and also but like love there, you know, like I
(24:29):
love my mom.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
She loves me.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
She you know, even validated my sexuality in ways that
she really hasn't before, saying like I we knew you
were different, you know, we knew you were a tomboy,
but we didn't really think about the gay thing. And
then once you came out, it was like, oh, that
makes sense, and of course you were gay as a kid.
We just didn't see it, you know, And it wasn't
(24:52):
as clear. It's not as obvious as someone like you
know that is very masculine lesbian of course, you know,
so it wasn't on their now. But also she's like,
we love you, you know, we don't care.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
And everybody shows it differently.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Your mom, like liking my posts is a way that
she's saying, I accept you, Melissa, because she's accepting me, Like,
I think you have to, Like, you can choose to
look for the evidence that they suck, or you can
choose to look for the evidence that they're great. Yeah,
And I think that's where I start to I meet
people and I can see right away they're they're looking
for evidence.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Of why the world is against them.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
It's like, okay, well then the world's going to be
against you, because that's what you're going to find. If
I go look for everybody who hopes I fail, I'll
find it.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
If I look for evidence for people rooting for me
and things working out, I'm going to find that too.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah. And so I think, like you went.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Into that conversation kind of looking for evidence of goodness
and it's fucking there.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah. Yeah, And just knowing that, like I was able
to talk to her in an honest way, Yeah, in
a gentle.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Way that Yeah, yeah, you don't need to angry.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Yeah, I wasn't angry about it. I just told her,
you know, like, it's it's hard to talk to you sometimes,
and I love you, but it's hard. Yeah, you're scary
in these ways. Yeah, so that was really that's taken
a lot off of me.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I feel like, yeah, so maybe that's also why you
feel kind of peaceful right now.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I mean it's just life is going to life, you know, and.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I guess that's it.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It's like, if we made it this far, there's so
many opportunities in the situation you're in right now, it's
just another one of it. You're going to level up,
and who knows what the future holds. There's so much
hope there. I think that's when people get in trouble,
is when they start to lose hope on what's around
the corner, what's next.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And I feel like you have a lot of hope.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
And I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah you know.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yeah, Like a few years ago, it was like I
got out of a relationship and I was like, oh
my god, Like, what's that like? I got to find
another one. I don't care. Right now, I've got solid
people behind me. I one hundred percent fine with being alone,
showing up to events alone, like spending.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Well, she is the mayor of Atlanta.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I am the mayor of us. So funny you mentioned this.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
It's kind of easy to show up alone when you're
the mayor.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Get this, Okay, So as you know, I'm learning how
to DJ, and you in order to DJ, you have
to buy your music. Well, I am a thrifty person,
and I knew that I have all these CDs that
I've owned since I was in middle and high school college,
and I was like, I'm going to pull the music
off these CDs and put them on so smart on
a little disk drive thing. I couldn't find my fucking CDs.
(27:36):
I tore my house apart the other day.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I kid still have them?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
How laughing at me, dude, It's one of those things
that I've hung on too, like I've gotten rid of
everything else in my life. I still have DVDs too, though, damn,
but that's more so of like if I lose Wi Fi,
I have entertainment. Okay, So anyway, I'm looking for these
CDs can't find them. I'm going through all my shit
and I find this T shirt that my friend had
(28:01):
made for me in like twenty sixteen, fifteen, and it
says on the front Melissa for mayor.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Oh my god, you need we need that, And then on.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
The back it has a picture of me dressed as
Snooky from Halloween that says, I party like you pregame,
that's amazing, it's a fantastic show.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
It's actually kind of a it was a foreshadowing.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I guess, so, so what is to come. I didn't
wear it because they wanted me to wear it to
like a beer event at like a beer festival in
Peachtree City, and I was like, I'm worried people are
gonna think I'm like, legit serious that I'm running for mayor.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, and I don't want to yeah yeah, yeah, and
I don't mean yeah Petree City, Like there's a lot
of moms here.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Yeah, it feels a little awkward.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's very easy for you, though, to show up alone.
I said this the other day. I'm getting to wear
I can like most places in at least this area,
Like if I go out, I feel safe going by myself,
Like I could walk in and I'm going to know
a few familiar people.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, but I think that's been a growth moment. Like
I don't love to do that.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I'm also okay with not going.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Ah, that's the best that is. Now, that's the trifact
that is.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, Like I am okay with not going. Like I
don't have plans tomorrow night that there was supposed to
be helping out with Second Friday that got canceled. So
I'm just gonna chill at home. I'm gonna write, I'm
gonna teach message how to DJ.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yes, catch up. We need you for the Urban Pie
takeover part right.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I know, I'm like so nervous. I'd like, I don't know.
DJing is way harder than I anticipated. You're gonna be great,
But I'm like, okay, if I can just fade in
and out, Yeah, you're gonna I really need to know
how to do. So.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Should we tell everybody about the movie screening?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, this is another like exciting thing that we've got
on our plate. We are hosting a screening for the
movie Honey Don't, which has my girlfriend in it. You know,
we're gonna have to do get out over this. But
I want to say that. I think it was our
first episode we ever record, and you asked me my
celebrity crush, and I said Aubrey Plaza.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I think I might have said her, should we go back?
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Maybe we need to we need to go back, because
I remember you saying your friend in La lives near
her right. Yes, but this was years ago, so maybe
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
But yeah, I'm like, I know that woman is just
I fell hard in White Lotus more for her White
Lotus character personality, like she's such a like pain in
the ass and the best fucking way.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah that I was like, weigh in.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So anyway, when they asked us to do the screening
and it's Aubrey Plaza, we were like, hell fucking yeah,
we cannot wait to do it. And so tell him
about like the deeds.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
She also plays a lesbian like in the movie. In
the movie, yeah, so like me to say anything else.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, Aubrey Plaza lesbian. The movie is Honey, don't it's
screening in Atlanta August nineteenth.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
When does it actually come out?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
I think it comes out August twenty second. Okay, So
we're hosting a screening at Madison Yards in Atlanta. Yep, free,
but it is first come, first served, so I'm sure
it's gonna sell out. Get there early, get your seats.
But we also have the inn on some seats.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Giving away to five different people pair of tickets, so yeah,
ten total total to five different people.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
And the way that you can enter to win this
is comment on one of our posts yep, tag honey
don't in that post, but also follow honey don't on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
That's right, and we.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Are going to randomly pick five different people from that
and you will get two tickets to the screening and
guaranteed seats.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Guaranteed seats. We'll be there, we cannot wait. Madison Yards,
August nineteenth.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
That's going to be a blast.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
And even if you end up not getting in, I
think it's going to be fun just to show up
for the screening because there'll be tons of gay women there, right,
lots of gay women exactly. So we'll be posting about it,
so stay tuned.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And we also have another event that we're still working
out the details, but we've mentioned it before. October eighteenth
in Seattle. We're doing a live event.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yes, we're gonna have a sex therapist.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Yeah, We're gonna have a little mix and mingle beforehand,
so people can you can meet lesbians and you know,
it doesn't matter if you're late in life, what age, whatever.
We're inviting everybody but Ali and I are going to
do a Q and A. We're going to talk. We're
gonna have sex therapist on. It's gonna be a whole weekend,
(32:33):
Total Blast fun in Seattle.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Other activities.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
It's just gonna be a fun lesbian weekend in Seattle.
We're gonna have a block of rooms at a hotel.
The hotel looks amazing. Yes, Total Blast weekend of October eighteenth,
to just kind of mark your calendar and come out.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
It's gonna be it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
This is really our first ever live real like live
event and other.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Cities, so come out because it's the inaugural.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah that's right.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, all right, have a good one. Bye.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I I want to support the Lesbian Chronicles podcast. Rate
us and write a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
We'd love listener feedback.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
If you'd like to share your story, email us at
Melissa and Ali at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
That's Melissa, M. E. L. I. S A and Ali
a L l I
Speaker 2 (33:21):
At gmail dot com or follow us on Instagram at
Lesbian Chronicles
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.