October 26, 2025 • 56 mins
As seen in People magazine, Lindsay Perrin joins the show to talk about her journey as a surrogate for a gay couple, working as a photographer for Rolling Stone and covering Taylor Swift's concerts. And we can't forget her epic Lesbian Bar Crawls in NYC. We also chat about the epidemic of lesbians canceling on dates.
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'm Ali. I came out after twenty years of marriage
and I have three kids.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles
and victories that come with it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
When coming out feels like the end of the world,
but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
This is the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
No, we're back virtual, no longer in person here.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I know, are you back? Like, do you feel like
you're back on Atlanta time zone?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I feel like I'm finally feeling normal again. And it's
what Thursday. We got back late Sunday.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
But I also didn't feel like the time change was
that big of a deal.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
No, because you feel that way. I always feel that
way because I'm like, if it's ten thirty, my eyes
want to go to sleep. So there it was seven thirty.
So for me, I struggle. But I what I did
was right when I got back, I had like two
really early nights in a row to like get myself
back on track. Yes, I guess crazy person.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I'm already on like the late schedule anyway, So I
guess it was as big of a deal. But I
will say our trip to Seattle, and this is wild
to me because there's been a lot of like air
traffic control delays and all this stuff that we had
like the smoothest travel ever we really did.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
And how about Melissa and I get on our seats,
which we've talked about. I'm always asle she's window. So
we had this like thought that there's going to be
some jackass between us and that's just going to be
what it is. A very large man who's a very
large both flights, the seat was empty on a full flight.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I mean, we're obviously God's favorite.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
We're living right.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Sure, we are living right, as my only thought, and
you had this one so nice.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
I know I had this. I'm telling you, I come
very prepared to fly.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Because I hate the idea of being stuck in this
fucking capsule thing and not having like little conveniences or food.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Like have you ever been on a flight where.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
You're hungry or nausees and it's just like you can't
do anything about it.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It's the worst. No.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Because also everything they were offering was carbs, and you
had nuts and you guys, listen, to this. She had figs,
real figs, dates, dates, date dates. I was like, what
is this?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I know.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Ali leans over to me, She's like, where do you
even get these where?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I've never even seen these things?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Like they're in the produce section and like a little
plastic container.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I eat them all the time. They're great for you,
very healthy.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, well they were delicious. Seattle was so much fun.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, and everybody was so nice.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I know, so many cool, nice women.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I started thinking about this the other day. You know
how we were like walking around. We had like a
little a couple of hours to kill before our flight,
so we went and walked around, went to the like
the Pike Market all that stuff, and we're like we
ran into like three different groups of people on the way. Yeah,
and I'm like, this feels like a small town now, Like.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
No, it does. We did. And how about when I
came down to the lobby and you're talking to those
two women that were like telling I mean they were
in their what like probably early sixties.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, and they were we were having a pow wow.
They're telling me about their coming out stories. One of
them used to be Mormon, and they were just so
so kind and sweet, and they'd gone to our event,
and both of them it was like outside of their
wheelhouse a little bit together to an event. But they
were also like, it was so nice to have something
that wasn't so debaucherous, I know, you know, and surrounded
(03:41):
by alcohol and all those things. So I was really
appreciative to talk to them and hear their take on
the event, and I don't know, it makes me definitely
want to do more from that standpoint, Like they're one
hundred percent right. There's just not a lot of spaces
where you can go to an event, you know, meet
some really good women and listen.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
To some what I think was really good conversation, you know.
I know it was part of it, but yeah, it
was just so much fun.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So it was a lot of fun. You were in
your wheelhouse. I thought I would be more nervous up
on that stage. I wasn't at all. I don't know
if I was like feeding off of your confidence, but
it felt great. I thought it was awesome. There are
things like I would change now but now that I know,
but I it was amazing. Rachel Horgan was amazing. And
then I felt bad at the last episode when I
(04:28):
was like rattling off names of people that there was
like another couple names that I want to make sure
I mentioned Courtney, Lena, there was a woman named Lisa
that I thought was fucking awesome. Irene was so cool,
Like I just I feel like there are people that
I sat and talked to that I thought, if you
were in Atlanta, you'd be my friend.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, sure, one hundred percent, Yeah, one hundred percent. Just
so many good people.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
So yeah, thank you guys for coming out to that,
Like those people that turned out and spent their their
hard earned money to come see us, like, it's just
so amazing.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
So it was so amazing. And they did have a
coffee maker in the room, so all my packing of
the cure, the coffee, the creamer was completely unwarranted, you.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Know, but at least you had it. You had your
security market.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Did you have your blanket that you bring from home?
You're blanky?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
That was okay, you want to hear my tactic with that. Yeah,
that was wrapped up in a pillowcase, Okay, that I.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Bring out on the airplane and I use it as
a pillow. So if it's wrapped in the pillowcase, it
did the blanket doesn't take touch the airplane germs.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, this is unbelieving. This is a way that you
and I would be similar. Like I don't think of
you as that kind of person at all. Like I
think of you as like, uh whatever, like let's just
have fun. Like you do have some quirks that.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Are like a I do I have yeah, okay, suitcases
on the bed. Absolutely not, Like do not do it.
I will lose my.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Mind to it.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Do not do it.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That's totally funny. Well, anyway, it was fun to be
with you as well, like we get to talk all
the time, I feel like, but it was nice to
be in the same city for multiple days in a
row because I we get to hang out a lot,
but not tons.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
We got to go shopping.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
We shopped and then I left my shopping bag at
the hotel.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh god, but yeah, we.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Got to go shopping. We got to try on clothes together.
We ate together.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I got to eat some really nasty I think you
guys were both cringing a little bit, even and Rachel
White seeing my oyster selection and that restaurant had like
these clams in the middle like that, like it was
so fresh water. They had them in like the water
in the middle of the restaurant. I've never seen clams
out size of my entire life. They were disgusting, looking
(06:40):
like I might be ruined.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
It's also like, Melissa picks this restaurant and I know
it's great, Like, I know it's highly rated and everybody
loves it, and I actually like some seafood, I like sushi.
But we we get in there and I look at
the menu. I look at Melissa and I'm like, dude,
there is nothing on this menu that I that I
am going to eat. Like it all just felt like inedible.
And yeah, Melissa's ordering a dirty martini at probably eleven
(07:05):
am with her lams, and I'm.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Like, god, I've had the best meal. Dirty martini with
oysters and clamchowder. Yeah, so fucking good. So I was
not upset about it.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
No at all. I love that. I'm so happy for you,
my friend. You did say that was your favorite meal.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yes, today we have a friend joining us who's been
on the show before. Our friend Lindsay, who I can't
remember what we nicknamed you last time.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It was something to do with like Hurricane Lindsay. Hurricane
Hurricane Lindsey.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
How you pulled up on two wheels to pick me
up from the airport.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yes, every time. Like I haven't been around you that often, Lindsay,
but the times I have, I like hear you coming before.
When she came into Scepter, I remember the entire outdoor
seating area, like you could feel people arriving and then
it's like Lindsay at the helm, just blowing in to
the bar. Yeah, you're something. I call it what do
(08:04):
we call it? Life? Out loud?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Yeah, out loud.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, Well, you've got a lot of shit go down
this last year, Like I'm watching you just so you know.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Yeah, I'm good. Yes, it's been a wild year.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Let's see, there's a lot to unpact. Yeah, I want
to talk about the baby, and I heard about it.
I'm like there's no way, but it is tell us
like that that story I'm dying to now, Like how
did that even come about?
Speaker 5 (08:33):
So I was a surrogate for two gay men over
the last year. Got got pregnant on November fifth of
last year. So coming up, it's almost been a solid year.
In May of last year, was out at Red Rocks
and visiting with some lesbian friends through who I had
(08:54):
met through like Fletcher Concerts, and one of them was
talking about how she had just donated her eggs to
this gay couple and I was like, oh, do they
have any kids yet from it?
Speaker 4 (09:07):
And she said no, They've actually been on a surrogate
wait list.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
For two years.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
And I was like, oh, well, I'll do it, Like
what's it take to be a surrogate? And so she's
so we like google it and I met the Google criteria.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Is she like texting her friends right then, like, holy shit,
I think I found her.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
She literally texted her coordinator, like her agency coordinator, who
she worked with through her whole process.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Of donating the eggs, and was like, I think I
found them a surrogate And I was like we were.
She's like, oh, oh my gosh, let me connect.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
You with them.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
And within maybe two weeks, Max I had a FaceTime
with a couple.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And then in the time, though, are you telling is
she letting these guys know? I think I might have
like don't get too excited, but no you can't.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
But the but the agency was okay, got it.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Yeah, she and she is still in contact with them,
like we are all in a group chat, the big
gay group chat, and uh, gay Big Gay fam group
chat and so we all talk regularly and or actually,
she and I are going to a Fletcher concert in
(10:23):
December in New York City and that will be the
first time that she meets the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
We haven't told them that we're coming to town yet,
but I'm sure it will all work out, and so
it'd be really cool for all four of us to
be together.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Yeah, to like get to see the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
It's probably what five or six months now, three.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Months, three months, three months postpartum.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I can't believe three months postpartum, right, it's.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
My Yeah, I'm having some like problems with my my
like pelvit floor and things that I haven't had with
my other two pregnancies.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
But she was like, so low, I think just did
some damage here.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
So boy, I'm uncomfortable still from that, but feel really
great mentally and physically, aside from just that one little problem.
So I got pregnant November of last year, and I'm
really sick with my pregnancies. I knew this going into it,
but I did this for the plot, like I was
(11:32):
that this would be fun. Yeah, to say I was
a surrogate for gay Family, like all those are gay, Like, it.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Just sounded like a fun opportunity.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
So and it's it's honestly like awesome to be able
to help out two gay men, like to help out
the queer community, especially in these times huge when we
you know, have so much going on and so much
hatred in the world.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
So yeah, when I got pregnant, I assumed I would
be sick. But this was the sickest I had been.
So I threw up all nine months with her.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Oh my god, literally bedridden for days sometimes.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And you have two boys, a girl and a boy.
You have a girl and a boy, Okay, So I
was thinking maybe it was just that it was a girl,
but no, oh no, she and it was.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
It was awful.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
I was the sickest I'd ever been. I was the
biggest I'd ever been, and I was like the most active.
So I was like mad that I gained so much
weight with this pregnancy, Like I gained twenty pounds with
my other two pregnancies.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I gained fifty with her. What and he was the smallest.
She was only seven pounds seven ounces.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
That's wild.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
What was their reaction like when you call or had
that FaceTime video with them, Like and you're telling them
you want to do this and you're a stranger.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Like what was their reaction to that?
Speaker 5 (12:59):
So they like, we went through an agency, so they
actually had been interviewing surrogates like in the like recent
weeks leading up to our conversation.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
So and it felt like dating to them.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Oh, it really did feel like I was like on
a date with two guys, which was interesting as a
for sure.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
And I'm confused, like if they're trying to if they're
on the waiting list for two years, they're dating, but
it's kind of like it seems like it's hard to
find a surrogate.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Yeah, Like I mean, you don't want to surget that
you know, is around cigarette smoke or that is. I
don't know, there's like a lot of factors, you know,
and you want to be.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Able to vibe with them.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
I hoe personality wise, I don't think the other people
that they had met with were queer or anything like that.
So I don't really know what their process looked like
in too much detail, but it felt like an and
stick connection with them. And I don't know if it
is because I'm also gay and I know the egg donor,
(14:07):
So it just felt comfortable right off of the bat,
and I actually like it was during Indianapolis Pride that
I had my first FaceTime with them, So it just
kind of all aligned really well. And within a few days,
they like they the agency reached out and said that
(14:29):
they wanted to move forward with me, and they were
honestly wonderful intended parents to work with as far as like,
didn't limit my diet, didn't want to control.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Like what my body at all. Like they were like
really conscious about that, and I appreciated that. Like I
was already on a limited diet because I had to
eat to survive, Like I could only eat anything that
maybe could stay down, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So true because you were sick as.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yeah, yeah, and so it was it was wild, Like
every day I was like, why did I sign up
to do this?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
I was, but then I once I like, but it's
it was just the most magical moment in my life,
like giving birth to her and seeing them become Dad's like, how.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Does it work? Do they do? You say, like, hey,
I'm going into labor and then they're racing to the hospital.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
So yeah, so a little bit more like detail about that.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
So my doctor is lesbian, obgyn in Indianapolis, who I
know really well.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
I'm not going to get into the specifics.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Of how I know her, but this is the story
I want.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
This is the story I unfortunately can't say anymore online.
But let's just say she taught me a lot about
being a lesbian, the first woman that I had really
met in the lesbian community.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
So anyway, she I was like, she would be great
to deliver this baby. So that's who my doctor was
and who delivered the baby, and so it was really
fun to just tie in as.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Many gay people as like you know.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
So, so I was measuring two weeks ahead pretty much
the whole time, and they live in New York City,
and so they planned they arrived like two weeks prior
to her due date.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Oh, in me in Indianapolis.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Which hospital I'm just curious, you aren't familiar.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Community North of course?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yep?
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Yeah, ten out of ten, Like I've.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Now delivered at three different hospitals, are you North in
Saint Vincent Women's and then now Community North? And Community
North was definitely my favorite. And so they flew in
and like a few days before I okay, so let
me back up. My doctor is only a hospitalist, so
(17:06):
I didn't see her through the like doctor's visits. I
saw a different doctor for the doctor visits, and so
like she was doing a check on me, and like
the week before they were coming and was like, oh,
I can feel her head and I only have one
finger in and I was like, oh my gosh, she's coming.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
I called the baby Daddy.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Well actually they were facetimed in forever meeting and I
was like, she's coming.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
You guys better get here early.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Like I I, how long can a baby when the
doctor says that could a baby hold on that low
for I don't know? Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
So they were literally flying out the next week to
be an Indie and they were like, but I was
only dilated to like A one or two, and so
she was.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Like, you know, no need to change your arrangements.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
So I have I live in a lesbian commune and
I like therefore lesbians on my streets. And one of
them rented out her house to the baby Daddy's while
they were in town, which was incredible for them to
be like right next door. Yeah that I really love that.
(18:17):
So they got in from New York on a Saturday.
Saturday July twelve, and.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
The day before I did so much yard work and
I think I did like six hours of yard work.
I was powerwashing my dad.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Are they well, you're doing all that? Are there for?
Like enough? Our baby is in there going outside.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
I don't think I told them what I don't do.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
I think it shook things up because my water broke
twelve hours after they arrived.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
What the hell right?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Like?
Speaker 4 (18:48):
What perfect timing?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
You know?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
That is insane.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I think they would have missed the birth had she like,
had they not been here.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Especially the third baby. That thing's coming out fast. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Yes, So I'm like, oh, I think my water broke.
It's like one in the morning. And my support person
slash best friend had.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
Just done a half iron Man that day.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Oh, I call her up.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
At one in the morning. She'd already been up since
four am doing this half iron man.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And I was like, sorry, bout timing, gotta come. I
think you gotta come.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
We gotta go to the hospital. I think my water broke,
but I don't know about did your guys's water break?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Mind? On my date? Oh? Isn't that nuts?
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I'm like with my first it's like barely broke when
I coughed and then this Actually I guess both times
they really broke it for me.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I think about it, Okay, yeah, it's weird or.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Nothing to do well, so it is interesting. So, like,
I was so scared that I'd go in there and
they would send me home. They'll be like, oh, you
just peed your pants. Like they hear me into that
the first two times. Wow, I didn't want to. I
like didn't want to wake.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
The baby daddies up and have them come to the
hospital and then be sent home because I had just
peed my pants.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
I would have been like so mortified.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
So I was like on the front on the phone
with my best friend and I was like, should I
call them or like should we just wait?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
She's like, girl, call them. Yeah, I agree, Dame, All
this is their baby. They are not going to care
for you.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Are you having contractions too?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
So my body does not start contractions?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Oh shock? Because I might have been the friend. I
might have been the friend who was like, oh you
just if you're not having contractions, just go back to bed.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Yeah, Like, but I knew this from my other birth,
Like I don't go into labor, Okay. So I get
there and they get there and they're like, yep, it's
time to go and wow, so they did not start
me on potocin. My My doctor was actually scheduled to
come in as seven am, and she only works nine
(21:01):
days out of the month, so it was really crazy.
She was already scheduled to be there, Like I'm talking
perfect timing, yes, And so they were like, we're not
going to break your water until she gets here because
we have a good feeling that you're gonna like have
this baby so.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Fast, like this is your third baby. Your other two
deliveries were so quick.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
And turns out I wasn't progressing, like they were doing
the craziest moves with my body.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
To try to get her to come like a peanut ball.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I don't know if you guys are familiar with this,
but like they were. They had me on all fours
in my assha.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
As are the guys in the room? Are the men?
Speaker 5 (21:44):
They walked in and I said, get out, kid, I
be up close and personal to my vagina, but you
are not going to see my ass in the air,
and I'm.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Playing Shakira Shakira exactly. Holy it was so funny. It
was so much fun. But they were in the room
for some of.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
The moves, but not down one. Okay, So tell me then,
how how did they get her to come?
Speaker 5 (22:11):
So turns out I had a four bag or four
sack or something and I don't know what that really
is still, but it's an additional sack of water that
was preventing her from moving down.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
So they popped that and she flew out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Oh my god. And were the guys standing there?
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Yeah? Yes, So I had my sister in the room.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
My best friend slash support person, was with my kids
hosting their birthday party.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
At this time, I was literally giving birth.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I was so sad she missed it. But I also
couldn't cancel my kid's birthday party. They were so sad.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
So the baby daddies were in the room. One was
holding my leg and the other was down at the
vagina ready to catch her, ready to cut the cord.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
And we were playing music, we were dancing.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
We were It was the most fun delivery, Like you know,
like they're just they have so much personality and like
as most gay men do, and like at one point
one of the dads, the one that was cutting the cord.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Was just like the female body is so powerful or
you know, like incredible or something, and it was just
like all females in the room and it was like, yes,
yes we are, yeah girl power.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
It was just fun. How does it like once the
baby comes out, Like, I'm so curious around this is
their baby, but you just gave birth. Do they cut
the cord and give the baby to them to them
or is that like, oh, the.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
One that cut the cord held her initially, and I'm
crying and they're crying, and we are.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
My sister's crying, We are all crying.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Was there a moment where you were like, oh shit,
I want her. No never, oh my ned, I'm afraid
that would be me. Never let me be the Sarah.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
I know that's how I would feel. I'm like, it's
kind of like attached to this baby.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
It's not my my DNA park in a car in
a garage right.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Well, and the agency like explained it really well, it's
like when you baby sit a kid, you don't want
to keep the kid.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, I mean I guess for you, like mentally, like
I'm not connecting. I know this baby is not it's
going to go live with these parents.
Speaker 5 (24:34):
So yeah, like I think like from the start, I knew,
you know, like I loved her. I cared for her
like it was magical carrying her. And I think we
are always going to have a special bond and I
am always going.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
To love her in such a unique way.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
And I feel like I'll treat her as I will
my niece, you know, Like it's like I'm like her
fun lesbian auntie, and I can't wait for the relationship
we will have.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
But I've never felt like a maternal bond, you know
what I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Sayingful like to give that gift.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Yeah, Like I can't even felt very in like but
I was just crying.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
I didn't even cry for my own two children because
and they were crying because I just helped them become
a family.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Like they couldn't have done that without me.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
It's true a thousand.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
It was so beautiful. And there are no two parents
more deserving to you know. And they are the most
phenomenal dads. And I I'm jealous of the life she's
going to live, to be honest, Yeah, because in.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
New York City, and she's gonna she's gonna have a
great setup.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Yeah, her dads, they love her in a way I've
just never seen.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I mean, I'm mom, and you know, my kids have
a wonderful dad themselves, and I see that, but it's
different when you had to go through such a journey
to have a baby. You you had to find an
egg donor, you had to find a surrogate that took
two years in itself, and like you've always dreamed of
being a dad and then having to go on a
(26:17):
fertility journey like I can't imagine, you know, Like they
invested a lot of time and energy into having their
own child, and it was so beautiful and so magical.
And I've never seen men cry like I saw them
cry when she came into the world. It was so cool,
Like I I that moment was definitely the most magical
(26:42):
moment in my life.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I mean, I don't see how it couldn't be.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
Yeah, And I was just like so proud that I
got to be a part of something like that and
got to help them become a family.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
And and they truly are like a family to me.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Have they had to to you and be like, Okay,
she has this thing. Do you have this? Like has
there been I guess no, because your DNA isn't.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You know?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
And I don't.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
I don't think that they've had to reach out to
Lauren the egg donor for any of that either, you know,
but I'm not sure these conversations could be going on.
But there's so much detailed tests and blood work and
things that go on in that journey that I think
(27:33):
a lot of questions are already answered, probably more than
Lauren would even know.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah, yeah, that's such a good point, like why would she?
Speaker 5 (27:40):
But like one cool thing was the song Native new
Yorker came on are like on Spotify while she came
into this world and she's a little Native new Yorker,
Like so many whole moments that happened during this but
I'm talking just such a fun, vibrant room to be
(28:01):
in and then for my doctor to be my friend,
and I now have like an even deeper love and
appreciation for her, like to see her in this environment
delivering a baby and like sewing up my vagina and
all of these.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Things like really cool life. It's amazing you never get
You don't get to see your friends in that in
their fields very often.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Especially that.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yes, like a little more connected to her now and
so that was cool, and and it's just funny, Like
it's just funny to have them two gay men up close,
up close and personal to your vagina.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
You know you don't think that's the making Yeah, he's like,
he's like, I know more about vaginas than I ever
want to know. The pregnancy because you are life on
the road. I mean you travel a ton, Like did
the pregnancy stop some of that or not? Really?
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yes, because I got so sick.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
Okay, I did have some travel restrictions based on my contract,
Like I wasn't allowed to leave the country, but I
did get a special like amendment to our contracts because
I was fortunate enough to cover Taylor Swift's closing night
of the Aras tour for Rolling.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Stones, So that was Coober.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
So I had I got to go, got to go
out of the country for that, but I was so
sick that I didn't want to spend the money going
to concerts and feeling too on trips. It's in not
enjoying them like, so it slowed me down and I
actually started throwing up for the first time at the
(29:49):
Taylor Swift concert and Vancouver.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I was like, what are how you got? I'm a swiftie,
so tell us how you got the gig.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Is so yes, so I covered or I've I've been
to a lot of Taylor Swift Aristewart concerts. I think
I went to eleven and my second one, I was
front row. It was Taylor Swift's first rain show. It
was Nashville Night.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Three, and I got a really great video of her.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
In the rain, singing and dancing, and I posted it
to TikTok immediately, as one does.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
As one does.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
My phone was dying, so I went up and charged
it in the hallway during the all too well ten
minute version, and I uploaded it immediately and I was
able to get some service up there, and Rolling Stone
picked it up and posted it and it was their
second most watched reel and most liked Instagram post in
(30:52):
twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Damn.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
And I think I was the only like non I
am a professional photographer, but not for like concerts. I
was the only non professional.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
On that list, which was really on their top ten list,
which was really cool, and so I leveraged that.
Speaker 5 (31:13):
Staying in contact with them, and I mentioned, like, I'll
be at the Indianapolis show. I'm in Indianapolis, would you
want to like work together? And he was like, actually,
not for Indianapolis, but what about Vancouver?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
And I was like, uh, yes, even better, even better,
I will be there. Yeah, So I got paid to go.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
I got a great seat, and that was an incredible experience,
and I was interviewed for the documentary. So I'm keeping
my fingers crossed that I make an appearance that is incredible.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
That would be so cool. How did you like do
like they put you in a seat that then you're
getting footage again?
Speaker 4 (31:58):
For st Okay, it was rough.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
It was like I don't remember how far back I was,
but I'm five foot two and I was sandwiched in
the middle of the.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Row and I was throwing up while you're trying to
do this job.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Yees, So I had to keep leaving.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
I left three times during the lover set, and I
was like, I can't keep doing this to the people
in this row. So I stood back by the stairs
and during key moments. I had seen the show enough.
During key moments, I would run up to my like
my row and try to get some footage, and then
(32:43):
I'd go back to the bathroom. So it was a
rough show, and I was so thankful that I had
seen it because I was so sick. I made it
work and I got some good content.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I think too. If you're a fan, it's like for
you to say you're not professional in the way of
Rolling Stone has other photographers. You're probably the biggest fan,
so it's like to me, you're going to get the
shot likely better than they could because you're obsessed with
her the way I am.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, that's really cool.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
That was an incredible experience. And to say that I've
shot for Rolling Stone twice now.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Yeah, I you know, it's been a great year.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
And do you want to pursue that like going forward?
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Oh my gosh, I would. I'd absolutely love to, and
I was on contract for them, so I don't think.
I don't you know, I don't even know if i'd
have the opportunity to do that and not live in
like La or New York. And I'm really tied to
Indiana right now. I'm going back into the workforce on
November three.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Wow, you're like a full time position.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
Yes, I've you know, I have missed having co workers,
I have missed having stability, I've missed routine. So I
and I'm kind of burnout on photography right now. So
I'm going back into fundraising, which is what I've done
for the last decade. And I'm really excited about this opportunity.
(34:11):
And you know, I wouldn't love to be famous or
even pursue a career of like social media or maybe
you know, shooting for Rolling Stone like more consistently, but
it just doesn't make sense in my life right now.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, I mean your kids are still little. They're also
hilarious and adorable. Like if anyone follows Lindsay on TikTok,
you've probably seen her Halloween costumes that she does for
the kids.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Which what are they this year?
Speaker 5 (34:42):
Lindsay They're gonna be the Loraxe and o'heare from O'Hare
is the villain in the Lora Axe. Okay cool, and
I'm like so excited for this costume. I really wanted
them to be Jack and Rose from the Titanic. Oh,
but Charlie my Son was like, that's so embarrassing. Nobody's
(35:02):
gonna know who I'm who I am, and I was like, okay, whatever,
So I'm letting them be the Lorax and O'Hare.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
The one that I saw most recently was the Finding Nemo,
where it's the fit. Charlie's the fish in the bag, right,
your dog like the dentist's office.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
She's such a Darla personality type that I felt like
that was necessary.
Speaker 5 (35:30):
Like she's like shaking cats and stuff, terrible with animals.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Oh my god, how old is She's six?
Speaker 4 (35:39):
She's a free spirit.
Speaker 5 (35:41):
And I'll tell you, like as a baby, she didn't
have much personality, like even into her toddler years, and
now this girl has all the personality.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
So that's funny. They developed different. I mean that's I know, yeah,
she was probably working on something else.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
My son came out of the womb with personality and
my daughter, go, she just wasn't there yet.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
So it's fun And also tell us about like I
know you've done some of these bar crawls in New
York City.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
It seemed like the last one was like, wait, tell me,
what is this? So he like took over cubby hole
right or was it Henryette?
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Oh my gosh. I had a huge turnout.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
So this was my third annual lesbian bar crawl in
New York City and I just started it. I started
it in twenty twenty three and it was on December
twenty third, and I did like a naughtier nice theme
and I was dressed up as the lesbian Jesus and
I flew home the next day on Christmas Eve and
(36:41):
wore my Jesus costume in the airport.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
Well I was like, yeah, my birthdays tomorrow, like Indiana.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Indiana was not ready for that.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
No, they weren't. It was fun and I had a
great time.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
How did you get like New York?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Why?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
How did you pick New York City? And then do
you have a is that where a lot of your
followers are.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
I have a lot of friends in New York, Okay,
and I've also went to a lot of Fletcher concerts
in New York.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
So maybe that's why I have a good amount of
people there. A community.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
And one of my friends who I had met on
Tinder and had went on a date with and we
decided to stay friends. We were like, we don't have
anything else going on, like this would be so fun,
and so we planted together. And then we went through
Hinge and all of our like Hinge and tender matches,
and we were like, come to this bar crawl on Saturday.
(37:35):
And so the first one was like thirty people and
it was mainly just like Hinge and tender people. I
did put it on like social media, but it wasn't
the word didn't get out very well, so that I
thought that was a great turnout though. Yeah, we went
to Cubbyhole, Gingers, and Henrietta's.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
And then the second one was last year. In August
of last year, I was actually out in New York
City doing blood work for the surrogacy and.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
So I was like, I'll go ahead and do one.
I did in an Olympic themed barkrawl then and we
had even bigger turnout, maybe like forty people, you know,
like forty forty five people. And then this year I
put it on Instagram and did no theme, and I
also did six weeks in advance and it blew up.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
It went viral and I was like, oh shoot, and
three hundred and seven lesbians RSVP to this.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
New York City one yes and only has.
Speaker 5 (38:42):
A capacity of seventy five people. So I was like, fuck,
Like people are gonna come, They're gonna stand in line,
They're never going to get in because of this. Like
my plan was to start at Gingers and then go
to cubby Hole and then go to Stonewall and then
go to Henriette And then I like emailed Gingers and
(39:04):
I was like, anyway that you could open early because.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
My group's going to be there. We're a big group.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
And they were like, oh, we're actually opening late because
we have a private event. And I was like, oh
my gosh, I'm so glad I eaten. Thank god right
because they I would have sent everybody to Brooklyn and nobody.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Oh my god. And that's not nothing, no, no, And
so then I like.
Speaker 5 (39:30):
Talked Tokubby and they were like, we would open an
hour early, which is great. So we kicked off the
bar crawl at Kubby and then we went to Gingers
and then we came back and I really or no,
we went to Cobby's Stonewall, Gingers, then came back to
Henrietta's And that was intentional and splitting up, Like we
(39:51):
could have ended at Gingers, but I wanted to keep
it smaller. So it's yeah, and like people aren't going
to go from Manhattan to Brooklyn and.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Back what they did.
Speaker 5 (40:04):
Wow, So Cubby Hole opened an hour early, and you know,
people don't want to be the first one there.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Lesbians are flaky.
Speaker 5 (40:14):
Lesbians don't show up on time, so it worked out
and we actually buy We were only there an hour,
so by the end of it we had every seat
filled in Cubby, which was still a great turnout for
one o'clock in the afternoon. And then we had a
ton of people at stone Wall, like wall to wall
(40:37):
lesbians and the Gingers.
Speaker 4 (40:40):
We packed Gingers.
Speaker 5 (40:42):
And then at Henrietta's we got there at eight o'clock
and it was completely packed. And at that point I
kind of lost track of who was there for the
bar crawl and who wasn't. But if you've ever been
to Henrietta's at a Saturday night, I don't think they're
drawing much of a crowd at eight pm.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
So I'd like to thank it was my barkrawl.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
It was maybe this is what you need to be doing.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
This is that like three people came up to me
and were like, I'd love to partner with you.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
How did you do it?
Speaker 4 (41:09):
I'm never able to do this, And I was like,
I don't even live here. I don't know how I
do it. I live here like I did go here
right like last year.
Speaker 5 (41:20):
From my barkrawl, I started a group chat on Instagram
with all of my friends that I knew in New
York City to let them know about the barkrawl and
then now that's turned into a two hundred person lesbian
group chat that I started it.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
I don't even live there, Like, my god, it's so funny.
I just feel well known in New York. So it's
it's it's you know, my biggest.
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Thing is like creating a community for lesbians or queer women,
and I'm.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Glad that I've been able to do that.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Do you have that in Indie?
Speaker 5 (41:57):
I don't have a lesbian community in India really like
I have. I have a handful of queer women that
I hang out with. I have my lesbian.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Commune that I live in.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
Yeah, but if I play in a lesbian bar girl here,
I doubt I even know twenty people that way.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
So you got your doctor friend, I think she'd come.
She would.
Speaker 5 (42:25):
So I'm thankful, you know, for the friends that I
do have. But it's such a different dynamic here. Everybody's married.
Like my lesbian friends are married here, they've got kids,
they're in bed by eight pm. They're not trying to
go out and socialize with their single friend.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
No, I can see that about Indy. It's a quiet city. Yeah,
and you're not a sports fan, it's a very quiet city.
Speaker 5 (42:52):
I'm really excited about my new job too, because I'll
be traveling every other week all over the United States.
So I'll be back on my a game because I
have I have a lesbian community in most cities.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, you'll be out and like, yeah, you'll be cultivating
those relationships.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:11):
And and one of the things, like my friends met
each other at my barkrawl. I knew them both separately
from TikTok and they met myself. They met each other
at my first barkrawl and they are they are together still.
They they're together, they live together, probably will end up
(43:33):
getting married.
Speaker 4 (43:34):
And they met each other at my barkrawl and that
felt really cool.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:38):
And this year, just a lot of people were saying,
thank you for planning this. I need more queer friends
and this was a great opportunity to meet people.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
I think that that was our takeaway in Seattle, Like
I think like there is a need if you went,
if you had a tour that just like shows up
in different cities and creates these events, Right, here's a
market for it, right, there really is.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
Yeah, so I feel grateful, like I feel. I was
only two months postpartum though, let me tell you, Lord,
early out of a diaper.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I know this is insane. I don't know how you're
like you seem I would still be exhausted. Likely yeah, yeah,
I raising two kids.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
I was at Lollapalooza two weeks postpartum. Good Lord, I
was pumping and ah, my god.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
Literally I was like, I, you know, one thing that
I was grateful for with the pregnancy and being sick
was I had to stay home.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
And that's something I've never done.
Speaker 5 (44:41):
I got so comfortable with being at home and spending
time alone, and that was really good for me.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And for everybody. I'm doing that a little bit now.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Right and like I've not ever been comfortable doing that,
and it felt so good to like, now, you know,
I've I've been home without my kids this week and
I haven't had plans like any of the nights. So
it's been and I'm comfortable with that. Like I'm just
home by myself. I don't really watch TV. But it's
(45:14):
my busy season with work with photography right now, so
I've got a lot that I can be doing but
I was like, man, I don't need to be going
to all these concerts when I am done with having
this baby.
Speaker 4 (45:27):
That's like, I don't need to be in a new
city every week at a concert.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
I think I've been in a concert every week since
I went to Lollapool's and I literally cried.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
I was like, yeah, it's so good to be back.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Oh my god. Well do you see yourself, Like, do
you want to be in a relationship or not even
on your radar?
Speaker 4 (45:45):
Oh? I am definitely ready for a relationship.
Speaker 5 (45:51):
It's been three years since my last relationship, and I'm healed.
I've moved past that. I'm really comfortable with where I'm
at my life. I'm in a really good place in
my life, you know, emotionally, financially, all of that. I'm
not pregnant right now.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Pregnant right now.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
You know, dating is hard, and it's hard at this age.
It's hard dating as a lesbian. It's hard dating as
a lesbian in Indiana who has two kids.
Speaker 4 (46:26):
Like, I don't know about you guys, but I find.
Speaker 5 (46:29):
The lesbian community to be among the flakiest of all kidding.
I think I've planned, Like last year, I think I
planned fifteen dates.
Speaker 4 (46:41):
And they all were canceled.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
I was stood up twice while I was while I
was pregnant, I was stood up. I went to the
physical place and they didn't come.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
This is this is this is like not a human
behavior and you've done that. That is really gross. You
need to check yourself.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
I agreed, but I haven't had someone stand me up
at an actual place, but I have had people cancel
me extremely last minute.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
And it is just so Melissa does not like a cancel, dude,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yeah, and this person canceled because of traffic too, And
I'm like, I have two children that I've arranged to
be cared for during this time. I don't have a
lot of free time, and you just ruined my entire
free evening by canceling because you didn't want to drive
and trap that.
Speaker 5 (47:35):
I mean, get your ex says that people have come
up with, Like one of the girls that canceled, she
was like, well, I hadn't messaged you in a couple
of days on here, so I figured you.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
Wouldn't just go.
Speaker 5 (47:49):
And I'm like, well, I'm an adult, and we made
a plan and it was my birthday over the weekend.
I was in New York City. I was at my
baby shower, like, sorry, I'm not messaging on an app.
That's crazy that you wouldn't show up. Still, I even confirmed,
like the night before, I was like, i'll see you
tomorrow and wow, like it was also her birthday that
(48:10):
weekend too, So I was so confused and like I've
had somebody unmatched me two hours prior to a date.
And I was just like, girl, you could just said
you didn't want to go, Like this is like I.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Mean, obviously it's a good weed out because these people
are not dependable people that you would want to add
to your circle. But I do think PSA to anyone listening,
like this is this is behavior that my fourteen year
old son would not do. So if that tells you anything,
women out there, this is something my child wouldn't do.
So you're grown, you can do better than that.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Rude.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
It's so sure, like yeah, just.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Say the work like yeah, why is it so bad?
Just be like you know what, I don't think it's
gonna work out? Like why do just like why not
say that?
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (48:54):
I think the honest and direct is like the sociest
thing ever. It's so easy to do.
Speaker 5 (49:01):
It's a huge green flag and it eliminates anybody's feelings
getting hurt. Like if a girl messages me and says, hey,
I've met somebody that I'm having a connection with and
I want to pursue that more.
Speaker 4 (49:16):
Great, thank you so much for your honesty, the best
of luck.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
If a girl messages me and says, hey, I don't
feel like we're vibing like that.
Speaker 4 (49:24):
Great, thank you so much for telling me. Like, I
appreciate it, and I am just as honest and direct
in my communications with women and it. But like, there's
nothing that pisses me more, pisses me off more than
a woman that cancels or like doesn't show up. Like
that shows a lot about you.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Oh, it's everything. It's your complete integrity. Yeah, to me,
it's your zero. You're a zero exactly.
Speaker 5 (49:52):
It's just like so easy. And I've canceled like two
times even friends. I've never canceled a first date, but
I have.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
You can cancel on, you can cancel. You just have
to do what you said. You have to do the thing.
You've got to send the message that says this is
what's happened. I don't I'm not coming. Thank you move on.
Speaker 5 (50:14):
But to know, one of the two times that I
canceled was because I was in the hospital. Okay, like
I had a good reason to not show up for somebody,
But like I feel like I'm one of the most dependable,
reliable people that I know. I will always show up,
(50:34):
And like I value my relationships with you know, friends
or partners so much. Like that's a priority in my life.
So I'm going to show up for the people that
are in my life. And if you just think that,
it's like just so like, don't agree to going out
if you don't want to show up at the end
of the day.
Speaker 4 (50:53):
So it's hard to date.
Speaker 5 (50:54):
I am not on any dating apps right now. I
am trying to get my body back to a place
where I'm comfortable with I'm losing fifty pounds postpartum hasn't
been the easiest at thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
I hear it.
Speaker 4 (51:08):
It was easy my first two rounds.
Speaker 5 (51:10):
But I gotta wait till I'm like comfortable looking at
myself in the mirror before I get with somebody else.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, I want to go back to the dating thing
really quick because I want to say one more thing
to the positive side. I'm in a relationship with someone
and I one of the things that I love the
most about her is from get from the very beginning,
there was no games at all. It was I like you,
I want to spend time with you? How can I
do that? And like to me that that was so sexy.
(51:40):
I mean it's just like there was not even a
minute of where I stand. It was this is what
I'd like to happen. What are you doing Saturday night?
Like let's And I love that about her. She's still
like that. I mean it's consistent, good, just honest messaging throughout.
I haven't been going. I mean I learn from her.
(52:01):
I'm great now and I'm in a very happy relationship.
But I think like that is the goal for all
of us. To me, is that kind of very direct
There there is no games. It's literally this is what
I'd like to happen. Are you? Are you open?
Speaker 4 (52:14):
Are you guys the same age?
Speaker 1 (52:16):
No, she's thirty eight and how old are you really?
Fifty one?
Speaker 4 (52:22):
I love an age gap relationship?
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Do you okay? Because it took me some coming around,
Like I have to be honest, like I at the beginning,
that was part of my resistance, and I was like
this like scares me. It's I you know, I've got
all these other I'm getting older, like I'm dealing with
my own aging. But she's she doesn't feel like she's
thirty eight. I would say, would you say Melissa like
(52:44):
she's she's like supermature.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Yeah, I mean not to say like I was gonna say,
I feel like, once you hit thirty five, you.
Speaker 1 (52:53):
Better get it together.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
You've got it.
Speaker 1 (52:56):
But I don't even This is a woman that at
twenty five likely would have been the same. I mean,
she just there's integrity through and through. It's not and
like I said, I learned from her, but I just
that to me was something that stood out from the
very beginning. Is the confidence and this is what I
want and I'm I don't know. There was no feeling
(53:17):
of like maybe she's not going to come, or like
maybe she's not going to text me. If she says
she's going to text me, she texts me yeah, And
I don't know. I love that about her. It's like
she's just she's easy, she's safe.
Speaker 5 (53:31):
My ex girlfriend was ten years younger than me, okay,
but that was twenty four and thirty.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
Four, Okay, twenty four is a little different.
Speaker 4 (53:38):
Yeah, she was still in college and how did you
guys meet?
Speaker 1 (53:44):
And she's in my friend group.
Speaker 4 (53:46):
See that's the thing.
Speaker 5 (53:47):
I feel like, you guys have such a great friend
group that is like vast and wide of lesbians.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
According to you know, Robin, we do have a big
group of lesbians.
Speaker 4 (53:58):
We're so lucky.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
I feel like I love that.
Speaker 4 (54:01):
Yeah, and yeah, it's just it's a hard time to
be a single lesbian.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
I'll tell you, well, you just have to stay. I mean,
to me, it's like, don't waste time on the people
that are giving you red flags. It's like, move on,
move on.
Speaker 4 (54:15):
Look at Taylor and Travis.
Speaker 5 (54:17):
I am a stan of their relationship, and I think
that one thing is so beautiful about this relationship. I
think he is her thirteenth boyfriend and she shows you
that you never have to settle for anything less than
you deserve and that you want and he has checked
every box for her, and they have just like such
(54:41):
a beautiful relationship that if it's not Travis and Taylor,
I don't want it.
Speaker 4 (54:45):
I don't want somebody that, like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
And We've got plenty of relationships. I mean, Melissa and
I we because we do the pod and because we
were in Seattle, and even here we see lots of relationships,
and I hear you, by and large, there's not too
many relationships I'm witnessing that I want. Like I'm watching
these relationships play out and I'm like you, you do that,
so I hear you.
Speaker 4 (55:09):
I think Lena, I'm yeah, that's seeing gosh.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
I just Benny and Selena is a good one. But
I think they're really good ones. Get quiet. I think
they they're at home, they're together, they don't need to
be at all this nonsense because they want.
Speaker 4 (55:23):
To be together exactly. So that's what I'm looking for.
Speaker 5 (55:27):
If well woman were to knock on my door right now,
Like I'm I'm open to a relationship. I'm just not
actively on apps or searching because of like where I'm
at my postpartum body.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Where can they find you?
Speaker 4 (55:42):
Instagram baby TikTok.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
On TikTok.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Yes, you're absolutely hilarious and I always love your positive
attitude and your ability to just bring the fucking fun.
Speaker 1 (55:59):
Definitely Hurricane blowing into the scepter, no curse. I just
heard her before I saw her.
Speaker 4 (56:05):
I'll be at the Renee Rap Concert on Sunday. But
I'm right, this comes out after that.
Speaker 3 (56:11):
What you should do Sunday morning? So, uh, Renee Rap
in Atlanta on Sunday. Lindsay will be there.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
And if you're staying near where we were at the
bar that time, you're in the neighborhood.
Speaker 4 (56:22):
Oh perfect, yeah, yeah, So like I'm going down.
Speaker 5 (56:26):
It's a girls trip. There are seven of us, all lesbians.
We all met at Fletcher Concerts.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
Oh my god, waiter, are you gonna be here Saturday night?
Speaker 4 (56:34):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Oh my god, I have to tell you.
Speaker 4 (56:35):
We are going to the Halloween party.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, and to the Urban Pie takeover. Yes, you'll be there.
Robin told us about Okay, great, you're gonna have a blast.
Speaker 4 (56:44):
Yes, we are going.
Speaker 5 (56:46):
But like, I'm just so excited for our little I'm
the seventh Wheel. I'm so excited for our little reunion.
And we will be at the Renee concert. So I
will be looking for a wife there.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
Okay, she's looking for a wife. Guys, you heard it.
Speaker 4 (57:00):
I might show up in a Lorax costume.
Speaker 1 (57:02):
Who knows. Oh, I don't know what you're gonna get,
trust me, that would be hilarious.
Speaker 5 (57:09):
I asked my friends to wear Halloween costumes, like I'm
talking Pitbull, mister Clean, you know, Lord Farquaad, the Loraxe,
Miss Trunchibled. I was like, guys, let's all pick up,
pick out a ridiculous Halloween costume and wear it to
Renee's concert. I bet it will draw attention to us
during the concert. And I think that nobody else is
(57:32):
into this idea.
Speaker 1 (57:33):
So Ima, I have to be honest.
Speaker 4 (57:36):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
I tell you why. I don't love the idea. Why
Because I have great clothes. So I'm going to show
up and meet people for the first time looking like
complete shit in some costume when I've got a great
outfit that could sell that looks better on me than
the Loraxe. So now I've missed my opportunity.
Speaker 4 (57:53):
You look a great in orange these days.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
That's why they don't want to.
Speaker 4 (57:58):
I mean, but they but yeah, but they're all in relationships.
Speaker 1 (58:04):
Or maybe okay, so they should. They don't care.
Speaker 4 (58:06):
They don't care.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
Yeah, that's only one single. It's maybe the extra effort.
Speaker 5 (58:11):
Yeah, I just thought it'd be fun if Renee like
was like, what the fuck's the what the fuck are.
Speaker 1 (58:17):
You fam costume girls?
Speaker 5 (58:19):
Or like what if we all were like founding Fathers
costumes or whatever, you know, like those like old white
men costumes.
Speaker 4 (58:26):
I'm like, I could see her like calling us out.
Speaker 1 (58:30):
I see what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (58:31):
Yeah, thank you attention you guys know. Okay, I love it.
Speaker 2 (58:34):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
I know it is great. Lindsay, thank you so much
for coming on.
Speaker 3 (58:38):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 4 (58:39):
Granks so much for having me. I'm I'm sad I'll
be in your city and I won't get to see you.
Speaker 1 (58:43):
I know, We'll just have fun for us.
Speaker 4 (58:46):
Okay, have a great day, guys.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
All right, bye, lindsays bye. I want to support the
Lesbian Chronicles podcast. Rate us and write a review on
Apple podcast or Spotify. We love listener feedback. If you'd
like to share your story, email us at Melissa and
Ali at gmail dot com. That's Melissa M. E. L
I s A and Ali A L l I at
(59:11):
gmail dot com. Or follow us on Instagram at Lesbian
Chronicles
I'm Ali. I came out after twenty years of marriage
and I have three kids.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Melissa and I have two kids, and I came
out at thirty seven after an eleven year marriage.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This podcast is about coming out later and the struggles
and victories that come with it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
When coming out feels like the end of the world,
but it's really just the beginning.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
This is the Lesbian Chronicles. Welcome to the Lesbian Chronicles.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
No, we're back virtual, no longer in person here.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I know, are you back? Like, do you feel like
you're back on Atlanta time zone?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I feel like I'm finally feeling normal again. And it's
what Thursday. We got back late Sunday.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
But I also didn't feel like the time change was
that big of a deal.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
No, because you feel that way. I always feel that
way because I'm like, if it's ten thirty, my eyes
want to go to sleep. So there it was seven thirty.
So for me, I struggle. But I what I did
was right when I got back, I had like two
really early nights in a row to like get myself
back on track. Yes, I guess crazy person.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I'm already on like the late schedule anyway, So I
guess it was as big of a deal. But I
will say our trip to Seattle, and this is wild
to me because there's been a lot of like air
traffic control delays and all this stuff that we had
like the smoothest travel ever we really did.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
And how about Melissa and I get on our seats,
which we've talked about. I'm always asle she's window. So
we had this like thought that there's going to be
some jackass between us and that's just going to be
what it is. A very large man who's a very
large both flights, the seat was empty on a full flight.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I mean, we're obviously God's favorite.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
We're living right.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Sure, we are living right, as my only thought, and
you had this one so nice.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
I know I had this. I'm telling you, I come
very prepared to fly.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Because I hate the idea of being stuck in this
fucking capsule thing and not having like little conveniences or food.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Like have you ever been on a flight where.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
You're hungry or nausees and it's just like you can't
do anything about it.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It's the worst. No.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Because also everything they were offering was carbs, and you
had nuts and you guys, listen, to this. She had figs,
real figs, dates, dates, date dates. I was like, what
is this?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I know.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Ali leans over to me, She's like, where do you
even get these where?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I've never even seen these things?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Like they're in the produce section and like a little
plastic container.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I eat them all the time. They're great for you,
very healthy.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, well they were delicious. Seattle was so much fun.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, and everybody was so nice.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I know, so many cool, nice women.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I started thinking about this the other day. You know
how we were like walking around. We had like a
little a couple of hours to kill before our flight,
so we went and walked around, went to the like
the Pike Market all that stuff, and we're like we
ran into like three different groups of people on the way. Yeah,
and I'm like, this feels like a small town now, Like.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
No, it does. We did. And how about when I
came down to the lobby and you're talking to those
two women that were like telling I mean they were
in their what like probably early sixties.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, and they were we were having a pow wow.
They're telling me about their coming out stories. One of
them used to be Mormon, and they were just so
so kind and sweet, and they'd gone to our event,
and both of them it was like outside of their
wheelhouse a little bit together to an event. But they
were also like, it was so nice to have something
that wasn't so debaucherous, I know, you know, and surrounded
(03:41):
by alcohol and all those things. So I was really
appreciative to talk to them and hear their take on
the event, and I don't know, it makes me definitely
want to do more from that standpoint, Like they're one
hundred percent right. There's just not a lot of spaces
where you can go to an event, you know, meet
some really good women and listen.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
To some what I think was really good conversation, you know.
I know it was part of it, but yeah, it
was just so much fun.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So it was a lot of fun. You were in
your wheelhouse. I thought I would be more nervous up
on that stage. I wasn't at all. I don't know
if I was like feeding off of your confidence, but
it felt great. I thought it was awesome. There are
things like I would change now but now that I know,
but I it was amazing. Rachel Horgan was amazing. And
then I felt bad at the last episode when I
(04:28):
was like rattling off names of people that there was
like another couple names that I want to make sure
I mentioned Courtney, Lena, there was a woman named Lisa
that I thought was fucking awesome. Irene was so cool,
Like I just I feel like there are people that
I sat and talked to that I thought, if you
were in Atlanta, you'd be my friend.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, sure, one hundred percent, Yeah, one hundred percent. Just
so many good people.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
So yeah, thank you guys for coming out to that,
Like those people that turned out and spent their their
hard earned money to come see us, like, it's just
so amazing.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
So it was so amazing. And they did have a
coffee maker in the room, so all my packing of
the cure, the coffee, the creamer was completely unwarranted, you.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Know, but at least you had it. You had your
security market.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Did you have your blanket that you bring from home?
You're blanky?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
That was okay, you want to hear my tactic with that. Yeah,
that was wrapped up in a pillowcase, Okay, that I.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Bring out on the airplane and I use it as
a pillow. So if it's wrapped in the pillowcase, it
did the blanket doesn't take touch the airplane germs.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, this is unbelieving. This is a way that you
and I would be similar. Like I don't think of
you as that kind of person at all. Like I
think of you as like, uh whatever, like let's just
have fun. Like you do have some quirks that.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Are like a I do I have yeah, okay, suitcases
on the bed. Absolutely not, Like do not do it.
I will lose my.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Mind to it.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Do not do it.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That's totally funny. Well, anyway, it was fun to be
with you as well, like we get to talk all
the time, I feel like, but it was nice to
be in the same city for multiple days in a
row because I we get to hang out a lot,
but not tons.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
We got to go shopping.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
We shopped and then I left my shopping bag at
the hotel.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh god, but yeah, we.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Got to go shopping. We got to try on clothes together.
We ate together.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I got to eat some really nasty I think you
guys were both cringing a little bit, even and Rachel
White seeing my oyster selection and that restaurant had like
these clams in the middle like that, like it was
so fresh water. They had them in like the water
in the middle of the restaurant. I've never seen clams
out size of my entire life. They were disgusting, looking
(06:40):
like I might be ruined.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
It's also like, Melissa picks this restaurant and I know
it's great, Like, I know it's highly rated and everybody
loves it, and I actually like some seafood, I like sushi.
But we we get in there and I look at
the menu. I look at Melissa and I'm like, dude,
there is nothing on this menu that I that I
am going to eat. Like it all just felt like inedible.
And yeah, Melissa's ordering a dirty martini at probably eleven
(07:05):
am with her lams, and I'm.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Like, god, I've had the best meal. Dirty martini with
oysters and clamchowder. Yeah, so fucking good. So I was
not upset about it.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
No at all. I love that. I'm so happy for you,
my friend. You did say that was your favorite meal.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yes, today we have a friend joining us who's been
on the show before. Our friend Lindsay, who I can't
remember what we nicknamed you last time.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It was something to do with like Hurricane Lindsay. Hurricane
Hurricane Lindsey.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
How you pulled up on two wheels to pick me
up from the airport.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yes, every time. Like I haven't been around you that often, Lindsay,
but the times I have, I like hear you coming before.
When she came into Scepter, I remember the entire outdoor
seating area, like you could feel people arriving and then
it's like Lindsay at the helm, just blowing in to
the bar. Yeah, you're something. I call it what do
(08:04):
we call it? Life? Out loud?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Yeah, out loud.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, Well, you've got a lot of shit go down
this last year, Like I'm watching you just so you know.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Yeah, I'm good. Yes, it's been a wild year.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Let's see, there's a lot to unpact. Yeah, I want
to talk about the baby, and I heard about it.
I'm like there's no way, but it is tell us
like that that story I'm dying to now, Like how
did that even come about?
Speaker 5 (08:33):
So I was a surrogate for two gay men over
the last year. Got got pregnant on November fifth of
last year. So coming up, it's almost been a solid year.
In May of last year, was out at Red Rocks
and visiting with some lesbian friends through who I had
(08:54):
met through like Fletcher Concerts, and one of them was
talking about how she had just donated her eggs to
this gay couple and I was like, oh, do they
have any kids yet from it?
Speaker 4 (09:07):
And she said no, They've actually been on a surrogate
wait list.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
For two years.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
And I was like, oh, well, I'll do it, Like
what's it take to be a surrogate? And so she's
so we like google it and I met the Google criteria.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Is she like texting her friends right then, like, holy shit,
I think I found her.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
She literally texted her coordinator, like her agency coordinator, who
she worked with through her whole process.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Of donating the eggs, and was like, I think I
found them a surrogate And I was like we were.
She's like, oh, oh my gosh, let me connect.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
You with them.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
And within maybe two weeks, Max I had a FaceTime
with a couple.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And then in the time, though, are you telling is
she letting these guys know? I think I might have
like don't get too excited, but no you can't.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
But the but the agency was okay, got it.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Yeah, she and she is still in contact with them,
like we are all in a group chat, the big
gay group chat, and uh, gay Big Gay fam group
chat and so we all talk regularly and or actually,
she and I are going to a Fletcher concert in
(10:23):
December in New York City and that will be the
first time that she meets the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
We haven't told them that we're coming to town yet,
but I'm sure it will all work out, and so
it'd be really cool for all four of us to
be together.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Yeah, to like get to see the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
It's probably what five or six months now, three.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Months, three months, three months postpartum.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I can't believe three months postpartum, right, it's.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
My Yeah, I'm having some like problems with my my
like pelvit floor and things that I haven't had with
my other two pregnancies.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
But she was like, so low, I think just did
some damage here.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
So boy, I'm uncomfortable still from that, but feel really
great mentally and physically, aside from just that one little problem.
So I got pregnant November of last year, and I'm
really sick with my pregnancies. I knew this going into it,
but I did this for the plot, like I was
(11:32):
that this would be fun. Yeah, to say I was
a surrogate for gay Family, like all those are gay, Like, it.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Just sounded like a fun opportunity.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
So and it's it's honestly like awesome to be able
to help out two gay men, like to help out
the queer community, especially in these times huge when we
you know, have so much going on and so much
hatred in the world.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
So yeah, when I got pregnant, I assumed I would
be sick. But this was the sickest I had been.
So I threw up all nine months with her.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Oh my god, literally bedridden for days sometimes.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And you have two boys, a girl and a boy.
You have a girl and a boy, Okay, So I
was thinking maybe it was just that it was a girl,
but no, oh no, she and it was.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
It was awful.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
I was the sickest I'd ever been. I was the
biggest I'd ever been, and I was like the most active.
So I was like mad that I gained so much
weight with this pregnancy, Like I gained twenty pounds with
my other two pregnancies.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I gained fifty with her. What and he was the smallest.
She was only seven pounds seven ounces.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
That's wild.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
What was their reaction like when you call or had
that FaceTime video with them, Like and you're telling them
you want to do this and you're a stranger.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Like what was their reaction to that?
Speaker 5 (12:59):
So they like, we went through an agency, so they
actually had been interviewing surrogates like in the like recent
weeks leading up to our conversation.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
So and it felt like dating to them.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Oh, it really did feel like I was like on
a date with two guys, which was interesting as a
for sure.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
And I'm confused, like if they're trying to if they're
on the waiting list for two years, they're dating, but
it's kind of like it seems like it's hard to
find a surrogate.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Yeah, Like I mean, you don't want to surget that
you know, is around cigarette smoke or that is. I
don't know, there's like a lot of factors, you know,
and you want to be.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Able to vibe with them.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
I hoe personality wise, I don't think the other people
that they had met with were queer or anything like that.
So I don't really know what their process looked like
in too much detail, but it felt like an and
stick connection with them. And I don't know if it
is because I'm also gay and I know the egg donor,
(14:07):
So it just felt comfortable right off of the bat,
and I actually like it was during Indianapolis Pride that
I had my first FaceTime with them, So it just
kind of all aligned really well. And within a few days,
they like they the agency reached out and said that
(14:29):
they wanted to move forward with me, and they were
honestly wonderful intended parents to work with as far as like,
didn't limit my diet, didn't want to control.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Like what my body at all. Like they were like
really conscious about that, and I appreciated that. Like I
was already on a limited diet because I had to
eat to survive, Like I could only eat anything that
maybe could stay down, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So true because you were sick as.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yeah, yeah, and so it was it was wild, Like
every day I was like, why did I sign up
to do this?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
I was, but then I once I like, but it's
it was just the most magical moment in my life,
like giving birth to her and seeing them become Dad's like, how.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Does it work? Do they do? You say, like, hey,
I'm going into labor and then they're racing to the hospital.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
So yeah, so a little bit more like detail about that.
Speaker 5 (15:32):
So my doctor is lesbian, obgyn in Indianapolis, who I
know really well.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
I'm not going to get into the specifics.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Of how I know her, but this is the story
I want.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
This is the story I unfortunately can't say anymore online.
But let's just say she taught me a lot about
being a lesbian, the first woman that I had really
met in the lesbian community.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
So anyway, she I was like, she would be great
to deliver this baby. So that's who my doctor was
and who delivered the baby, and so it was really
fun to just tie in as.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Many gay people as like you know.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
So, so I was measuring two weeks ahead pretty much
the whole time, and they live in New York City,
and so they planned they arrived like two weeks prior
to her due date.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Oh, in me in Indianapolis.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Which hospital I'm just curious, you aren't familiar.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Community North of course?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yep?
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Yeah, ten out of ten, Like I've.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Now delivered at three different hospitals, are you North in
Saint Vincent Women's and then now Community North? And Community
North was definitely my favorite. And so they flew in
and like a few days before I okay, so let
me back up. My doctor is only a hospitalist, so
(17:06):
I didn't see her through the like doctor's visits. I
saw a different doctor for the doctor visits, and so
like she was doing a check on me, and like
the week before they were coming and was like, oh,
I can feel her head and I only have one
finger in and I was like, oh my gosh, she's coming.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
I called the baby Daddy.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Well actually they were facetimed in forever meeting and I
was like, she's coming.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
You guys better get here early.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Like I I, how long can a baby when the
doctor says that could a baby hold on that low
for I don't know? Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
So they were literally flying out the next week to
be an Indie and they were like, but I was
only dilated to like A one or two, and so
she was.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Like, you know, no need to change your arrangements.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
So I have I live in a lesbian commune and
I like therefore lesbians on my streets. And one of
them rented out her house to the baby Daddy's while
they were in town, which was incredible for them to
be like right next door. Yeah that I really love that.
(18:17):
So they got in from New York on a Saturday.
Saturday July twelve, and.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
The day before I did so much yard work and
I think I did like six hours of yard work.
I was powerwashing my dad.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Are they well, you're doing all that? Are there for?
Like enough? Our baby is in there going outside.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
I don't think I told them what I don't do.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
I think it shook things up because my water broke
twelve hours after they arrived.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
What the hell right?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Like?
Speaker 4 (18:48):
What perfect timing?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
You know?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
That is insane.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I think they would have missed the birth had she like,
had they not been here.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Especially the third baby. That thing's coming out fast. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Yes, So I'm like, oh, I think my water broke.
It's like one in the morning. And my support person
slash best friend had.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
Just done a half iron Man that day.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Oh, I call her up.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
At one in the morning. She'd already been up since
four am doing this half iron man.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
And I was like, sorry, bout timing, gotta come. I
think you gotta come.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
We gotta go to the hospital. I think my water broke,
but I don't know about did your guys's water break?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Mind? On my date? Oh? Isn't that nuts?
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I'm like with my first it's like barely broke when
I coughed and then this Actually I guess both times
they really broke it for me.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I think about it, Okay, yeah, it's weird or.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Nothing to do well, so it is interesting. So, like,
I was so scared that I'd go in there and
they would send me home. They'll be like, oh, you
just peed your pants. Like they hear me into that
the first two times. Wow, I didn't want to. I
like didn't want to wake.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
The baby daddies up and have them come to the
hospital and then be sent home because I had just
peed my pants.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
I would have been like so mortified.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
So I was like on the front on the phone
with my best friend and I was like, should I
call them or like should we just wait?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
She's like, girl, call them. Yeah, I agree, Dame, All
this is their baby. They are not going to care
for you.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Are you having contractions too?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
So my body does not start contractions?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Oh shock? Because I might have been the friend. I
might have been the friend who was like, oh you
just if you're not having contractions, just go back to bed.
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Yeah, Like, but I knew this from my other birth,
Like I don't go into labor, Okay. So I get
there and they get there and they're like, yep, it's
time to go and wow, so they did not start
me on potocin. My My doctor was actually scheduled to
come in as seven am, and she only works nine
(21:01):
days out of the month, so it was really crazy.
She was already scheduled to be there, Like I'm talking
perfect timing, yes, And so they were like, we're not
going to break your water until she gets here because
we have a good feeling that you're gonna like have
this baby so.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Fast, like this is your third baby. Your other two
deliveries were so quick.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
And turns out I wasn't progressing, like they were doing
the craziest moves with my body.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
To try to get her to come like a peanut ball.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I don't know if you guys are familiar with this,
but like they were. They had me on all fours
in my assha.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
As are the guys in the room? Are the men?
Speaker 5 (21:44):
They walked in and I said, get out, kid, I
be up close and personal to my vagina, but you
are not going to see my ass in the air,
and I'm.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Playing Shakira Shakira exactly. Holy it was so funny. It
was so much fun. But they were in the room
for some of.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
The moves, but not down one. Okay, So tell me then,
how how did they get her to come?
Speaker 5 (22:11):
So turns out I had a four bag or four
sack or something and I don't know what that really
is still, but it's an additional sack of water that
was preventing her from moving down.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
So they popped that and she flew out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Oh my god. And were the guys standing there?
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Yeah? Yes, So I had my sister in the room.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
My best friend slash support person, was with my kids
hosting their birthday party.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
At this time, I was literally giving birth.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I was so sad she missed it. But I also
couldn't cancel my kid's birthday party. They were so sad.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
So the baby daddies were in the room. One was
holding my leg and the other was down at the
vagina ready to catch her, ready to cut the cord.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
And we were playing music, we were dancing.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
We were It was the most fun delivery, Like you know,
like they're just they have so much personality and like
as most gay men do, and like at one point
one of the dads, the one that was cutting the cord.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Was just like the female body is so powerful or
you know, like incredible or something, and it was just
like all females in the room and it was like, yes,
yes we are, yeah girl power.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
It was just fun. How does it like once the
baby comes out, Like, I'm so curious around this is
their baby, but you just gave birth. Do they cut
the cord and give the baby to them to them
or is that like, oh, the.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
One that cut the cord held her initially, and I'm
crying and they're crying, and we are.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
My sister's crying, We are all crying.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Was there a moment where you were like, oh shit,
I want her. No never, oh my ned, I'm afraid
that would be me. Never let me be the Sarah.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
I know that's how I would feel. I'm like, it's
kind of like attached to this baby.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
It's not my my DNA park in a car in
a garage right.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Well, and the agency like explained it really well, it's
like when you baby sit a kid, you don't want
to keep the kid.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, I mean I guess for you, like mentally, like
I'm not connecting. I know this baby is not it's
going to go live with these parents.
Speaker 5 (24:34):
So yeah, like I think like from the start, I knew,
you know, like I loved her. I cared for her
like it was magical carrying her. And I think we
are always going to have a special bond and I
am always going.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
To love her in such a unique way.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
And I feel like I'll treat her as I will
my niece, you know, Like it's like I'm like her
fun lesbian auntie, and I can't wait for the relationship
we will have.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
But I've never felt like a maternal bond, you know
what I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Sayingful like to give that gift.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Yeah, Like I can't even felt very in like but
I was just crying.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
I didn't even cry for my own two children because
and they were crying because I just helped them become
a family.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Like they couldn't have done that without me.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
It's true a thousand.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
It was so beautiful. And there are no two parents
more deserving to you know. And they are the most
phenomenal dads. And I I'm jealous of the life she's
going to live, to be honest, Yeah, because in.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
New York City, and she's gonna she's gonna have a
great setup.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Yeah, her dads, they love her in a way I've
just never seen.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I mean, I'm mom, and you know, my kids have
a wonderful dad themselves, and I see that, but it's
different when you had to go through such a journey
to have a baby. You you had to find an
egg donor, you had to find a surrogate that took
two years in itself, and like you've always dreamed of
being a dad and then having to go on a
(26:17):
fertility journey like I can't imagine, you know, Like they
invested a lot of time and energy into having their
own child, and it was so beautiful and so magical.
And I've never seen men cry like I saw them
cry when she came into the world. It was so cool,
Like I I that moment was definitely the most magical
(26:42):
moment in my life.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I mean, I don't see how it couldn't be.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
Yeah, And I was just like so proud that I
got to be a part of something like that and
got to help them become a family.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
And and they truly are like a family to me.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Have they had to to you and be like, Okay,
she has this thing. Do you have this? Like has
there been I guess no, because your DNA isn't.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You know?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
And I don't.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
I don't think that they've had to reach out to
Lauren the egg donor for any of that either, you know,
but I'm not sure these conversations could be going on.
But there's so much detailed tests and blood work and
things that go on in that journey that I think
(27:33):
a lot of questions are already answered, probably more than
Lauren would even know.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah, yeah, that's such a good point, like why would she?
Speaker 5 (27:40):
But like one cool thing was the song Native new
Yorker came on are like on Spotify while she came
into this world and she's a little Native new Yorker,
Like so many whole moments that happened during this but
I'm talking just such a fun, vibrant room to be
(28:01):
in and then for my doctor to be my friend,
and I now have like an even deeper love and
appreciation for her, like to see her in this environment
delivering a baby and like sewing up my vagina and
all of these.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Things like really cool life. It's amazing you never get
You don't get to see your friends in that in
their fields very often.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Especially that.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yes, like a little more connected to her now and
so that was cool, and and it's just funny, Like
it's just funny to have them two gay men up close,
up close and personal to your vagina.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
You know you don't think that's the making Yeah, he's like,
he's like, I know more about vaginas than I ever
want to know. The pregnancy because you are life on
the road. I mean you travel a ton, Like did
the pregnancy stop some of that or not? Really?
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yes, because I got so sick.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
Okay, I did have some travel restrictions based on my contract,
Like I wasn't allowed to leave the country, but I
did get a special like amendment to our contracts because
I was fortunate enough to cover Taylor Swift's closing night
of the Aras tour for Rolling.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Stones, So that was Coober.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
So I had I got to go, got to go
out of the country for that, but I was so
sick that I didn't want to spend the money going
to concerts and feeling too on trips. It's in not
enjoying them like, so it slowed me down and I
actually started throwing up for the first time at the
(29:49):
Taylor Swift concert and Vancouver.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I was like, what are how you got? I'm a swiftie,
so tell us how you got the gig.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Is so yes, so I covered or I've I've been
to a lot of Taylor Swift Aristewart concerts. I think
I went to eleven and my second one, I was
front row. It was Taylor Swift's first rain show. It
was Nashville Night.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Three, and I got a really great video of her.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
In the rain, singing and dancing, and I posted it
to TikTok immediately, as one does.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
As one does.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
My phone was dying, so I went up and charged
it in the hallway during the all too well ten
minute version, and I uploaded it immediately and I was
able to get some service up there, and Rolling Stone
picked it up and posted it and it was their
second most watched reel and most liked Instagram post in
(30:52):
twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Damn.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
And I think I was the only like non I
am a professional photographer, but not for like concerts. I
was the only non professional.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
On that list, which was really on their top ten list,
which was really cool, and so I leveraged that.
Speaker 5 (31:13):
Staying in contact with them, and I mentioned, like, I'll
be at the Indianapolis show. I'm in Indianapolis, would you
want to like work together? And he was like, actually,
not for Indianapolis, but what about Vancouver?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
And I was like, uh, yes, even better, even better,
I will be there. Yeah, So I got paid to go.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
I got a great seat, and that was an incredible experience,
and I was interviewed for the documentary. So I'm keeping
my fingers crossed that I make an appearance that is incredible.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
That would be so cool. How did you like do
like they put you in a seat that then you're
getting footage again?
Speaker 4 (31:58):
For st Okay, it was rough.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
It was like I don't remember how far back I was,
but I'm five foot two and I was sandwiched in
the middle of the.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Row and I was throwing up while you're trying to
do this job.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Yees, So I had to keep leaving.
Speaker 5 (32:20):
I left three times during the lover set, and I
was like, I can't keep doing this to the people
in this row. So I stood back by the stairs
and during key moments. I had seen the show enough.
During key moments, I would run up to my like
my row and try to get some footage, and then
(32:43):
I'd go back to the bathroom. So it was a
rough show, and I was so thankful that I had
seen it because I was so sick. I made it
work and I got some good content.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I think too. If you're a fan, it's like for
you to say you're not professional in the way of
Rolling Stone has other photographers. You're probably the biggest fan,
so it's like to me, you're going to get the
shot likely better than they could because you're obsessed with
her the way I am.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, that's really cool.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
That was an incredible experience. And to say that I've
shot for Rolling Stone twice now.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Yeah, I you know, it's been a great year.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
And do you want to pursue that like going forward?
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Oh my gosh, I would. I'd absolutely love to, and
I was on contract for them, so I don't think.
I don't you know, I don't even know if i'd
have the opportunity to do that and not live in
like La or New York. And I'm really tied to
Indiana right now. I'm going back into the workforce on
November three.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Wow, you're like a full time position.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
Yes, I've you know, I have missed having co workers,
I have missed having stability, I've missed routine. So I
and I'm kind of burnout on photography right now. So
I'm going back into fundraising, which is what I've done
for the last decade. And I'm really excited about this opportunity.
(34:11):
And you know, I wouldn't love to be famous or
even pursue a career of like social media or maybe
you know, shooting for Rolling Stone like more consistently, but
it just doesn't make sense in my life right now.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, I mean your kids are still little. They're also
hilarious and adorable. Like if anyone follows Lindsay on TikTok,
you've probably seen her Halloween costumes that she does for
the kids.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Which what are they this year?
Speaker 5 (34:42):
Lindsay They're gonna be the Loraxe and o'heare from O'Hare
is the villain in the Lora Axe. Okay cool, and
I'm like so excited for this costume. I really wanted
them to be Jack and Rose from the Titanic. Oh,
but Charlie my Son was like, that's so embarrassing. Nobody's
(35:02):
gonna know who I'm who I am, and I was like, okay, whatever,
So I'm letting them be the Lorax and O'Hare.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
The one that I saw most recently was the Finding Nemo,
where it's the fit. Charlie's the fish in the bag, right,
your dog like the dentist's office.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
She's such a Darla personality type that I felt like
that was necessary.
Speaker 5 (35:30):
Like she's like shaking cats and stuff, terrible with animals.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Oh my god, how old is She's six?
Speaker 4 (35:39):
She's a free spirit.
Speaker 5 (35:41):
And I'll tell you, like as a baby, she didn't
have much personality, like even into her toddler years, and
now this girl has all the personality.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
So that's funny. They developed different. I mean that's I know, yeah,
she was probably working on something else.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
My son came out of the womb with personality and
my daughter, go, she just wasn't there yet.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
So it's fun And also tell us about like I
know you've done some of these bar crawls in New
York City.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
It seemed like the last one was like, wait, tell me,
what is this? So he like took over cubby hole
right or was it Henryette?
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Oh my gosh. I had a huge turnout.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
So this was my third annual lesbian bar crawl in
New York City and I just started it. I started
it in twenty twenty three and it was on December
twenty third, and I did like a naughtier nice theme
and I was dressed up as the lesbian Jesus and
I flew home the next day on Christmas Eve and
(36:41):
wore my Jesus costume in the airport.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
Well I was like, yeah, my birthdays tomorrow, like Indiana.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Indiana was not ready for that.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
No, they weren't. It was fun and I had a
great time.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
How did you get like New York?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Why?
Speaker 1 (36:57):
How did you pick New York City? And then do
you have a is that where a lot of your
followers are.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
I have a lot of friends in New York, Okay,
and I've also went to a lot of Fletcher concerts
in New York.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
So maybe that's why I have a good amount of
people there. A community.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
And one of my friends who I had met on
Tinder and had went on a date with and we
decided to stay friends. We were like, we don't have
anything else going on, like this would be so fun,
and so we planted together. And then we went through
Hinge and all of our like Hinge and tender matches,
and we were like, come to this bar crawl on Saturday.
(37:35):
And so the first one was like thirty people and
it was mainly just like Hinge and tender people. I
did put it on like social media, but it wasn't
the word didn't get out very well, so that I
thought that was a great turnout though. Yeah, we went
to Cubbyhole, Gingers, and Henrietta's.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
And then the second one was last year. In August
of last year, I was actually out in New York
City doing blood work for the surrogacy and.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
So I was like, I'll go ahead and do one.
I did in an Olympic themed barkrawl then and we
had even bigger turnout, maybe like forty people, you know,
like forty forty five people. And then this year I
put it on Instagram and did no theme, and I
also did six weeks in advance and it blew up.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
It went viral and I was like, oh shoot, and
three hundred and seven lesbians RSVP to this.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
New York City one yes and only has.
Speaker 5 (38:42):
A capacity of seventy five people. So I was like, fuck,
Like people are gonna come, They're gonna stand in line,
They're never going to get in because of this. Like
my plan was to start at Gingers and then go
to cubby Hole and then go to Stonewall and then
go to Henriette And then I like emailed Gingers and
(39:04):
I was like, anyway that you could open early because.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
My group's going to be there. We're a big group.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
And they were like, oh, we're actually opening late because
we have a private event. And I was like, oh
my gosh, I'm so glad I eaten. Thank god right
because they I would have sent everybody to Brooklyn and nobody.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Oh my god. And that's not nothing, no, no, And
so then I like.
Speaker 5 (39:30):
Talked Tokubby and they were like, we would open an
hour early, which is great. So we kicked off the
bar crawl at Kubby and then we went to Gingers
and then we came back and I really or no,
we went to Cobby's Stonewall, Gingers, then came back to
Henrietta's And that was intentional and splitting up, Like we
(39:51):
could have ended at Gingers, but I wanted to keep
it smaller. So it's yeah, and like people aren't going
to go from Manhattan to Brooklyn and.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Back what they did.
Speaker 5 (40:04):
Wow, So Cubby Hole opened an hour early, and you know,
people don't want to be the first one there.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Lesbians are flaky.
Speaker 5 (40:14):
Lesbians don't show up on time, so it worked out
and we actually buy We were only there an hour,
so by the end of it we had every seat
filled in Cubby, which was still a great turnout for
one o'clock in the afternoon. And then we had a
ton of people at stone Wall, like wall to wall
(40:37):
lesbians and the Gingers.
Speaker 4 (40:40):
We packed Gingers.
Speaker 5 (40:42):
And then at Henrietta's we got there at eight o'clock
and it was completely packed. And at that point I
kind of lost track of who was there for the
bar crawl and who wasn't. But if you've ever been
to Henrietta's at a Saturday night, I don't think they're
drawing much of a crowd at eight pm.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
So I'd like to thank it was my barkrawl.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
It was maybe this is what you need to be doing.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
This is that like three people came up to me
and were like, I'd love to partner with you.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
How did you do it?
Speaker 4 (41:09):
I'm never able to do this, And I was like,
I don't even live here. I don't know how I
do it. I live here like I did go here
right like last year.
Speaker 5 (41:20):
From my barkrawl, I started a group chat on Instagram
with all of my friends that I knew in New
York City to let them know about the barkrawl and
then now that's turned into a two hundred person lesbian
group chat that I started it.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
I don't even live there, Like, my god, it's so funny.
I just feel well known in New York. So it's
it's it's you know, my biggest.
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Thing is like creating a community for lesbians or queer women,
and I'm.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Glad that I've been able to do that.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Do you have that in Indie?
Speaker 5 (41:57):
I don't have a lesbian community in India really like
I have. I have a handful of queer women that
I hang out with. I have my lesbian.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Commune that I live in.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
Yeah, but if I play in a lesbian bar girl here,
I doubt I even know twenty people that way.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
So you got your doctor friend, I think she'd come.
She would.
Speaker 5 (42:25):
So I'm thankful, you know, for the friends that I
do have. But it's such a different dynamic here. Everybody's married.
Like my lesbian friends are married here, they've got kids,
they're in bed by eight pm. They're not trying to
go out and socialize with their single friend.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
No, I can see that about Indy. It's a quiet city. Yeah,
and you're not a sports fan, it's a very quiet city.
Speaker 5 (42:52):
I'm really excited about my new job too, because I'll
be traveling every other week all over the United States.
So I'll be back on my a game because I
have I have a lesbian community in most cities.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, you'll be out and like, yeah, you'll be cultivating
those relationships.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:11):
And and one of the things, like my friends met
each other at my barkrawl. I knew them both separately
from TikTok and they met myself. They met each other
at my first barkrawl and they are they are together still.
They they're together, they live together, probably will end up
(43:33):
getting married.
Speaker 4 (43:34):
And they met each other at my barkrawl and that
felt really cool.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:38):
And this year, just a lot of people were saying,
thank you for planning this. I need more queer friends
and this was a great opportunity to meet people.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
I think that that was our takeaway in Seattle, Like
I think like there is a need if you went,
if you had a tour that just like shows up
in different cities and creates these events, Right, here's a
market for it, right, there really is.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
Yeah, so I feel grateful, like I feel. I was
only two months postpartum though, let me tell you, Lord,
early out of a diaper.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I know this is insane. I don't know how you're
like you seem I would still be exhausted. Likely yeah, yeah,
I raising two kids.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
I was at Lollapalooza two weeks postpartum. Good Lord, I
was pumping and ah, my god.
Speaker 5 (44:28):
Literally I was like, I, you know, one thing that
I was grateful for with the pregnancy and being sick
was I had to stay home.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
And that's something I've never done.
Speaker 5 (44:41):
I got so comfortable with being at home and spending
time alone, and that was really good for me.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And for everybody. I'm doing that a little bit now.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Right and like I've not ever been comfortable doing that,
and it felt so good to like, now, you know,
I've I've been home without my kids this week and
I haven't had plans like any of the nights. So
it's been and I'm comfortable with that. Like I'm just
home by myself. I don't really watch TV. But it's
(45:14):
my busy season with work with photography right now, so
I've got a lot that I can be doing but
I was like, man, I don't need to be going
to all these concerts when I am done with having
this baby.
Speaker 4 (45:27):
That's like, I don't need to be in a new
city every week at a concert.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
I think I've been in a concert every week since
I went to Lollapool's and I literally cried.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
I was like, yeah, it's so good to be back.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Oh my god. Well do you see yourself, Like, do
you want to be in a relationship or not even
on your radar?
Speaker 4 (45:45):
Oh? I am definitely ready for a relationship.
Speaker 5 (45:51):
It's been three years since my last relationship, and I'm healed.
I've moved past that. I'm really comfortable with where I'm
at my life. I'm in a really good place in
my life, you know, emotionally, financially, all of that. I'm
not pregnant right now.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Pregnant right now.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
You know, dating is hard, and it's hard at this age.
It's hard dating as a lesbian. It's hard dating as
a lesbian in Indiana who has two kids.
Speaker 4 (46:26):
Like, I don't know about you guys, but I find.
Speaker 5 (46:29):
The lesbian community to be among the flakiest of all kidding.
I think I've planned, Like last year, I think I
planned fifteen dates.
Speaker 4 (46:41):
And they all were canceled.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
I was stood up twice while I was while I
was pregnant, I was stood up. I went to the
physical place and they didn't come.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
This is this is this is like not a human
behavior and you've done that. That is really gross. You
need to check yourself.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
I agreed, but I haven't had someone stand me up
at an actual place, but I have had people cancel
me extremely last minute.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
And it is just so Melissa does not like a cancel, dude,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yeah, and this person canceled because of traffic too, And
I'm like, I have two children that I've arranged to
be cared for during this time. I don't have a
lot of free time, and you just ruined my entire
free evening by canceling because you didn't want to drive
and trap that.
Speaker 5 (47:35):
I mean, get your ex says that people have come
up with, Like one of the girls that canceled, she
was like, well, I hadn't messaged you in a couple
of days on here, so I figured you.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
Wouldn't just go.
Speaker 5 (47:49):
And I'm like, well, I'm an adult, and we made
a plan and it was my birthday over the weekend.
I was in New York City. I was at my
baby shower, like, sorry, I'm not messaging on an app.
That's crazy that you wouldn't show up. Still, I even confirmed,
like the night before, I was like, i'll see you
tomorrow and wow, like it was also her birthday that
(48:10):
weekend too, So I was so confused and like I've
had somebody unmatched me two hours prior to a date.
And I was just like, girl, you could just said
you didn't want to go, Like this is like I.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Mean, obviously it's a good weed out because these people
are not dependable people that you would want to add
to your circle. But I do think PSA to anyone listening,
like this is this is behavior that my fourteen year
old son would not do. So if that tells you anything,
women out there, this is something my child wouldn't do.
So you're grown, you can do better than that.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Rude.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
It's so sure, like yeah, just.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Say the work like yeah, why is it so bad?
Just be like you know what, I don't think it's
gonna work out? Like why do just like why not
say that?
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (48:54):
I think the honest and direct is like the sociest
thing ever. It's so easy to do.
Speaker 5 (49:01):
It's a huge green flag and it eliminates anybody's feelings
getting hurt. Like if a girl messages me and says, hey,
I've met somebody that I'm having a connection with and
I want to pursue that more.
Speaker 4 (49:16):
Great, thank you so much for your honesty, the best
of luck.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
If a girl messages me and says, hey, I don't
feel like we're vibing like that.
Speaker 4 (49:24):
Great, thank you so much for telling me. Like, I
appreciate it, and I am just as honest and direct
in my communications with women and it. But like, there's
nothing that pisses me more, pisses me off more than
a woman that cancels or like doesn't show up. Like
that shows a lot about you.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Oh, it's everything. It's your complete integrity. Yeah, to me,
it's your zero. You're a zero exactly.
Speaker 5 (49:52):
It's just like so easy. And I've canceled like two
times even friends. I've never canceled a first date, but
I have.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
You can cancel on, you can cancel. You just have
to do what you said. You have to do the thing.
You've got to send the message that says this is
what's happened. I don't I'm not coming. Thank you move on.
Speaker 5 (50:14):
But to know, one of the two times that I
canceled was because I was in the hospital. Okay, like
I had a good reason to not show up for somebody,
But like I feel like I'm one of the most dependable,
reliable people that I know. I will always show up,
(50:34):
And like I value my relationships with you know, friends
or partners so much. Like that's a priority in my life.
So I'm going to show up for the people that
are in my life. And if you just think that,
it's like just so like, don't agree to going out
if you don't want to show up at the end
of the day.
Speaker 4 (50:53):
So it's hard to date.
Speaker 5 (50:54):
I am not on any dating apps right now. I
am trying to get my body back to a place
where I'm comfortable with I'm losing fifty pounds postpartum hasn't
been the easiest at thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
I hear it.
Speaker 4 (51:08):
It was easy my first two rounds.
Speaker 5 (51:10):
But I gotta wait till I'm like comfortable looking at
myself in the mirror before I get with somebody else.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, I want to go back to the dating thing
really quick because I want to say one more thing
to the positive side. I'm in a relationship with someone
and I one of the things that I love the
most about her is from get from the very beginning,
there was no games at all. It was I like you,
I want to spend time with you? How can I
do that? And like to me that that was so sexy.
(51:40):
I mean it's just like there was not even a
minute of where I stand. It was this is what
I'd like to happen. What are you doing Saturday night?
Like let's And I love that about her. She's still
like that. I mean it's consistent, good, just honest messaging throughout.
I haven't been going. I mean I learn from her.
(52:01):
I'm great now and I'm in a very happy relationship.
But I think like that is the goal for all
of us. To me, is that kind of very direct
There there is no games. It's literally this is what
I'd like to happen. Are you? Are you open?
Speaker 4 (52:14):
Are you guys the same age?
Speaker 1 (52:16):
No, she's thirty eight and how old are you really?
Fifty one?
Speaker 4 (52:22):
I love an age gap relationship?
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Do you okay? Because it took me some coming around,
Like I have to be honest, like I at the beginning,
that was part of my resistance, and I was like
this like scares me. It's I you know, I've got
all these other I'm getting older, like I'm dealing with
my own aging. But she's she doesn't feel like she's
thirty eight. I would say, would you say Melissa like
(52:44):
she's she's like supermature.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Yeah, I mean not to say like I was gonna say,
I feel like, once you hit thirty five, you.
Speaker 1 (52:53):
Better get it together.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
You've got it.
Speaker 1 (52:56):
But I don't even This is a woman that at
twenty five likely would have been the same. I mean,
she just there's integrity through and through. It's not and
like I said, I learned from her, but I just
that to me was something that stood out from the
very beginning. Is the confidence and this is what I
want and I'm I don't know. There was no feeling
(53:17):
of like maybe she's not going to come, or like
maybe she's not going to text me. If she says
she's going to text me, she texts me yeah, And
I don't know. I love that about her. It's like
she's just she's easy, she's safe.
Speaker 5 (53:31):
My ex girlfriend was ten years younger than me, okay,
but that was twenty four and thirty.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
Four, Okay, twenty four is a little different.
Speaker 4 (53:38):
Yeah, she was still in college and how did you
guys meet?
Speaker 1 (53:44):
And she's in my friend group.
Speaker 4 (53:46):
See that's the thing.
Speaker 5 (53:47):
I feel like, you guys have such a great friend
group that is like vast and wide of lesbians.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
According to you know, Robin, we do have a big
group of lesbians.
Speaker 4 (53:58):
We're so lucky.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
I feel like I love that.
Speaker 4 (54:01):
Yeah, and yeah, it's just it's a hard time to
be a single lesbian.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
I'll tell you, well, you just have to stay. I mean,
to me, it's like, don't waste time on the people
that are giving you red flags. It's like, move on,
move on.
Speaker 4 (54:15):
Look at Taylor and Travis.
Speaker 5 (54:17):
I am a stan of their relationship, and I think
that one thing is so beautiful about this relationship. I
think he is her thirteenth boyfriend and she shows you
that you never have to settle for anything less than
you deserve and that you want and he has checked
every box for her, and they have just like such
(54:41):
a beautiful relationship that if it's not Travis and Taylor,
I don't want it.
Speaker 4 (54:45):
I don't want somebody that, like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
And We've got plenty of relationships. I mean, Melissa and
I we because we do the pod and because we
were in Seattle, and even here we see lots of relationships,
and I hear you, by and large, there's not too
many relationships I'm witnessing that I want. Like I'm watching
these relationships play out and I'm like you, you do that,
so I hear you.
Speaker 4 (55:09):
I think Lena, I'm yeah, that's seeing gosh.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
I just Benny and Selena is a good one. But
I think they're really good ones. Get quiet. I think
they they're at home, they're together, they don't need to
be at all this nonsense because they want.
Speaker 4 (55:23):
To be together exactly. So that's what I'm looking for.
Speaker 5 (55:27):
If well woman were to knock on my door right now,
Like I'm I'm open to a relationship. I'm just not
actively on apps or searching because of like where I'm
at my postpartum body.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Where can they find you?
Speaker 4 (55:42):
Instagram baby TikTok.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
On TikTok.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Yes, you're absolutely hilarious and I always love your positive
attitude and your ability to just bring the fucking fun.
Speaker 1 (55:59):
Definitely Hurricane blowing into the scepter, no curse. I just
heard her before I saw her.
Speaker 4 (56:05):
I'll be at the Renee Rap Concert on Sunday. But
I'm right, this comes out after that.
Speaker 3 (56:11):
What you should do Sunday morning? So, uh, Renee Rap
in Atlanta on Sunday. Lindsay will be there.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
And if you're staying near where we were at the
bar that time, you're in the neighborhood.
Speaker 4 (56:22):
Oh perfect, yeah, yeah, So like I'm going down.
Speaker 5 (56:26):
It's a girls trip. There are seven of us, all lesbians.
We all met at Fletcher Concerts.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
Oh my god, waiter, are you gonna be here Saturday night?
Speaker 4 (56:34):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Oh my god, I have to tell you.
Speaker 4 (56:35):
We are going to the Halloween party.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, and to the Urban Pie takeover. Yes, you'll be there.
Robin told us about Okay, great, you're gonna have a blast.
Speaker 4 (56:44):
Yes, we are going.
Speaker 5 (56:46):
But like, I'm just so excited for our little I'm
the seventh Wheel. I'm so excited for our little reunion.
And we will be at the Renee concert. So I
will be looking for a wife there.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
Okay, she's looking for a wife. Guys, you heard it.
Speaker 4 (57:00):
I might show up in a Lorax costume.
Speaker 1 (57:02):
Who knows. Oh, I don't know what you're gonna get,
trust me, that would be hilarious.
Speaker 5 (57:09):
I asked my friends to wear Halloween costumes, like I'm
talking Pitbull, mister Clean, you know, Lord Farquaad, the Loraxe,
Miss Trunchibled. I was like, guys, let's all pick up,
pick out a ridiculous Halloween costume and wear it to
Renee's concert. I bet it will draw attention to us
during the concert. And I think that nobody else is
(57:32):
into this idea.
Speaker 1 (57:33):
So Ima, I have to be honest.
Speaker 4 (57:36):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
I tell you why. I don't love the idea. Why
Because I have great clothes. So I'm going to show
up and meet people for the first time looking like
complete shit in some costume when I've got a great
outfit that could sell that looks better on me than
the Loraxe. So now I've missed my opportunity.
Speaker 4 (57:53):
You look a great in orange these days.
Speaker 1 (57:56):
That's why they don't want to.
Speaker 4 (57:58):
I mean, but they but yeah, but they're all in relationships.
Speaker 1 (58:04):
Or maybe okay, so they should. They don't care.
Speaker 4 (58:06):
They don't care.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
Yeah, that's only one single. It's maybe the extra effort.
Speaker 5 (58:11):
Yeah, I just thought it'd be fun if Renee like
was like, what the fuck's the what the fuck are.
Speaker 1 (58:17):
You fam costume girls?
Speaker 5 (58:19):
Or like what if we all were like founding Fathers
costumes or whatever, you know, like those like old white
men costumes.
Speaker 4 (58:26):
I'm like, I could see her like calling us out.
Speaker 1 (58:30):
I see what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (58:31):
Yeah, thank you attention you guys know. Okay, I love it.
Speaker 2 (58:34):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
I know it is great. Lindsay, thank you so much
for coming on.
Speaker 3 (58:38):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 4 (58:39):
Granks so much for having me. I'm I'm sad I'll
be in your city and I won't get to see you.
Speaker 1 (58:43):
I know, We'll just have fun for us.
Speaker 4 (58:46):
Okay, have a great day, guys.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
All right, bye, lindsays bye. I want to support the
Lesbian Chronicles podcast. Rate us and write a review on
Apple podcast or Spotify. We love listener feedback. If you'd
like to share your story, email us at Melissa and
Ali at gmail dot com. That's Melissa M. E. L
I s A and Ali A L l I at
(59:11):
gmail dot com. Or follow us on Instagram at Lesbian
Chronicles
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