My Orgasmless Relationship

Abstract (TL;DR) ⏰

After 64 attempts and zero orgasms, I finally understood why 81.6% of women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Here, I uncover the reasons why. I was in a one-year relationship. We were in our teens, and although we had lots of fun penetrative sex in different places, neither of us understood the importance of the female’s pleasure in a heterosexual relationship. I cite a research paper where I self-identify as part of the 81.6% of females who cannot orgasm from intercourse alone. Then I share which of the researcher’s suggested techniques for helping women orgasm also work for me. These include not feeling rushed, having a partner who knows what I like, and anal stimulation.

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Introduction 💦

I lay there, naked, as my partner pushed himself deeper inside of me. He grunted and closed his eyes from the intensity as he leaned down on top of me. Yet, as I hugged his shoulders, I was silent. My eyes were wide open. I stared at the cream-colored plaster flowers that lined the edge of the ceiling in my bedroom; their shadows elongated in the late spring evening. Despite all the girls in porn having so much fun during this part, I felt almost nothing. I was too embarrassed to admit to myself that I was almost…bored?

That relationship lasted for one year. I never orgasmed with that partner. This is despite the fact that we had sex about an estimated 64 times (see details below) and that I’ve been perfectly happy masturbating on my own since I was 14. What happened? Or what wasn’t happening? Why was this the case? The article is a deep dive into a phenomenon I want to call “an orgasmless relationship.” Here, I’ll share everything that I’ve learned so you can avoid this experience for yourself in your current and future relationships.

Before we get dirty, I want to apologize to my ex-partner, Will (not his real name), for the fact that I’m sharing the intimate details of our relationship on the internet. Unlike the situations of some women I’ve talked to who were also in orgasmless relationships (who had to fake them all in the end), Will was a very kind and loving boyfriend. I stand by the fact that he would have done everything he could to please me. The problem was that neither of us knew any better at the time. We were in our teens, and as you’ll come to see, we both lacked some key situational and psychological factors.

Relationship Data Observations 🧫

Here’s a detailed breakdown of our relationship:

Category: High School Boyfriend. Monogamous.

How we met: We took the same train to school and were also in the same choir. He took a liking to me, and at some point, we started talking on the way home.

Birth control methods: The pill and condoms.

Duration: 1 year, exactly. I broke up with him on our anniversary because I was on my period and got the ick.

Why we broke up: We had very different interests, and I didn’t have the communication skills to tell him I wanted to have penetrative sex less frequently.

Where We Had Sex: A Geographic Analysis 🗺️

Here is a map of all the places where Will and I had penetrative sex. Keep in mind that we were both in high school, so we lived with our families.

The school bathroom sex was not particularly warm or comfortable, but it was thrilling. Still, we almost got caught by some younger male students once. Around this time, I was in the running to become a school prefect, and Will was trying to get recruited to play rugby at university, so we decided it probably wasn’t worth the risk anymore. Yet the secrecy of it all was intoxicating. Looking at my Maths or English teacher in the face the next day at my lessons felt very cheeky and naughty indeed.

Analysis 📊

Given that I had so much sex with Will, why did