Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Take control, control of your life.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Break the change your rise, normal feeling powerless, normal shame,
and take your power.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Break out of the pain. Because it's more than fornication,
more than procreation. It's not just self stimulation. Sex.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Energy is for creation, the transformation.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
It's to a new destination.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
This is poor talk points.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Change your life from duns to life by free, take
back your pa.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
You.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Say thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
This is poorn talk. He was your host, Eric Zuzak.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Five time number one best selling author, international speaker and consultant.
He's been paid to stand on stages in over thirty
countries and his message has been translated in over forty languages.
Today we will hear some great stories, powerful lessons, and
(01:38):
we'll have some fun too. He is a licensed brain trainer,
neuro encoding specialist. Help me Welcome Sean Murphy. Welcome Sean, Eric.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I'm so excited to be here, and I just want
to say, first of all, thank you for what you're doing.
Thank you for the dedication you've had for Brene Brown
says that your vulnerability gives others courage and I can
only imagine how many people applaud you on a daily basis.
Who get to listen or download this podcast to give
(02:13):
them the courage to break some of their own heavy,
rusty chains.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, thank you, I appreciate that, but let's hear your story.
License brain trainer, neuro encoding specialists changing the hardware rather
than the software. Tell us about you.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
So real quick. When I was fourteen, I had an
emotional experience that made me say these words, I'll never
have another bad day now. It didn't all happen all
at once, yet from that moment, I decided to pay
attention to the environment I was in. I had already
been programmed right from childhood. When we get programmed, Mom
(02:56):
was a little bit of a tea a drinker, and
so that makes you kind of codependent. We didn't have
all of these labels when we were growing up. They
just said you're either, you're challenged, you're sticky, you're clingy,
and you have all of these languages. So I learned,
and then my dad put me into sales from a
(03:16):
very early age. My first sales call I was sixteen
years old in a coal mine and I got rejected,
and my dad pushed me through the rejection from eight
am to one in the morning. When I finally wasn't rejected,
and that's a whole other story. So I realized I
had to realize it was me that was doing the rejection.
It was me that was saying no to myself. It
(03:37):
was me not believing in myself. So go on to
vice president of sales of a two hundred million dollar company,
where you're in charge of a sales force, and you
realize how addicted everybody is to this thing called approval.
And so what I figured out is I need to
learn on the brain. Everybody has different stories. Yet ninety
eight percent of the population feels rejected, have two three
(04:01):
percent have all the wealth, and some of them aren't
really that happy. But the other ninety eight percent write
sticky notes and they don't work, and they go to
seminars and they don't work. And we call these things
called books called shelf help instead of self help. So
I worked in this idea saying there's something wrong with
the hardware because all of the programming, all of the software,
all of the events and books and tapes and trainings,
(04:21):
they don't seem to be producing the result everybody wants,
because things are not better than they should be. So
that's why I went into brain training, neuroincoding, mental toughness,
self talk, hypnotherapy, and a few other things that allow
me to re help, rewire the hardware and upgrade the
hardware in someone's brain.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Wow, I remember the day you talk about taking all
the seminars and online courses and books. And one day,
back when I was deep in my addiction, I took
I had a mammoth library of self improvement stuff and
(05:03):
I took most all of it and I dumped it
in a church's dumpster. Never forget the day. But later
on I went to learn that it wasn't the self development,
it was other things like my brain. And so how
can one change the hardware? I understand to change in
(05:26):
the software of the brain. You know what we put
in and things like that, But how does one change
your brain? But you know, I'm getting ahead of myself.
You said you had worked at sixteen years old in
sales for a coal mine.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Well I was. We were professional. We were a professional
sales family. Right. You hear about families who are joined
the circus. Our families joined the other circus called sales.
And so my dad taught us from a very early
age to go sell things. I was selling corn off
a haywagon. When I was five years old, he dropped
me off into coal mine at six point thirty in
(05:59):
the morning and says, go sell something. I come out
at noon. Now this is I'm sixteen. My dad come
out at noon. He's in the parking lot of this
coal mine and whe'll write West Virginia. And he says,
what'd you sell? I said, I didn't sell anything. He said,
what are you doing out here? I said, everybody's at lunch.
He says, well, where are you going? I said, we're
going to lunch. He says, you ain't got any money
for lunch. You didn't sell anything. And if you fast
(06:23):
forward you can guess what happened at dinner. When I
didn't sell anything, we weren't going for dinner. I had
to go back in, slug back into and I was
carrying the old leather briefcase with about forty pounds of
tool steel and square steel stock. And came out around
eight o'clock shift change. Second shift is already going, Third
shift is coming on and I said, there's only it's
(06:44):
skeleton crew. He says, well, where are you going? I said,
we're going to the hotel. I'll try tomorrow. He says,
you got no money to go to sleep. At one
thirty in the morning, I'm sitting across from this superintendent.
There's six guys in this coal mine now running the tipple,
the wash plant. And I said, all I want is
somebody to buy something. And he said what I said,
all I want is somebody to buy something. He says,
(07:05):
what are you selling? I said, I'm selling two and
a half inch round TGP turn ground and polish steel.
He said, great, I'll take twelve inches. I said, out standing.
So I had an order. I ran back out to
my dad and I said, I got your order. Let's go.
He goes, Oh, twelve inches, he goes, they come in
twenty foot random lengths. Who's paying for the other nineteen feet? Well,
(07:27):
you can tell I lived it. It's literally it's visceral
in my body at this moment. And we always have
those moments. The challenges is that too many people, when
they have the addiction, the addiction doesn't happen that way. See,
I didn't know I was addicted to being refused. I
didn't know I was addicted to the approval of others.
My dad just kept reminding me. Pushed through it pushed
through it, pushed through it. Well, when you're on your
(07:48):
own and when you're by yourself, some of these addictions
you can't push through yourself. The hit that happens in
the brain. What I realized is is that we get
hits in the brain of dopamine that's more powerful than
any more. So then that kind of started my journey
into understanding personal development, which, by the way, I've revamped. Yes,
(08:08):
one guy from Arkansas revamped the personal development industry. I
don't know, but I now call it personal un development.
We have to get back to the foundational source where
the crap started to happen.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Hmmm. Interesting. So I getting back to what you said
a little earlier about the sales circus, because there's a
lot of guys that listen to this are entrepreneurs or salespeople,
business owners, and they can I'm sure relate to the
sales circus. I know, I know I can't.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Well, you know, you hear the zig Zigglers and they
sold pots and pans and they were the number one
this you hear the people all the time. So the
Kirby vacuum, I just saw somebody so that that the
guy the vacuum store had the Kirby, the same Kirby
he sold back in the seventies. So we all those
of us, our entrepreneurial realize we want to control our
own future, We want to control our own success. And
what I'm loving, what you're doing here, is that addictions
(09:07):
have a tendency to have us go skyrocket high, high high.
And then we've got this because we're addicted to success.
And then we also offset that by some of our
addictions to us.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And one of the challenges that entrepreneurs and sales people
have that's a little different from the average person that
has a job, is that you spend a lot of
time by yourself, especially if you're starting out in sales.
You know, hitting the pavement, you're picking up the phone.
(09:39):
You spend a lot of time by yourself and it
can be challenging for a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Well, the challenge is is that rejection is we are
predispositioned in our DNA to be to avoid rejection. And
the reason that is is because as a child, we
have to have some kind of cognizance of something that
could hurt us. Right, the brain does two things, Will
it kill me? Or how fast cauld i recognize the pattern.
(10:08):
So from a very early childhood, we're addicted to the
approval of others. We bring mom that little weed. Remember
when you brought mom the weed and she went, oh
my god, it's the most beautiful flower. And she put
it in a book and everything else like it's a
and you opened the book. When Mom's gone, you're like,
oh my god, is that the flower I gave her?
Why did she save that? Because we gave it to her.
And the challenge is is that that addiction never stops
(10:29):
a childhood. It goes on into school, where we go
on and be the teacher's pet, especially if we think
the teachers like super hot, right that we think the
teacher's hot and sexy and like, oh my god, she
liked me. She touched my shoulder. And this is guys.
I can't speak for girls, but all of a sudden,
we now want to make sure we get the golden star.
And then we leave school and we go to college
and then we'd probably take a course or we take
(10:49):
a degree that we really wasn't ours our parents wanted
us to take it. And then we go to work
and now we got to make the boss happy to
get the Raisin. We just constantly have this addiction for approval.
And when we get off on our own, like you said,
into the silence and into the quiet of our own selves.
If we find something that all of a sudden gives
us that dopamine head, that gives us the chance to
not be rejected, we want more of that. And that
(11:13):
addiction can be alcohol, can be porn, can be a
variety of things. So that's why I went back into
the brain, because a lot of people are addicted to
their old story and it's keeping them just absolutely broke.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah. Absolutely. When you talking about the brain, I can't
help but think there's a there's an old song from
I don't know, maybe the nineties it was.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Isn't that funny to say the nineties or an old Sorry,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
It goes something like insane in the membrane, insane in
the brain, insane in the membrane, insane in the brain.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Do you do you remember the cartoons that made that,
like made it famous?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
I I don't, I can.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah. Anyways, well let's continue because sure.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Uh but so anyway, uh, the brain, the brain chemistry, uh,
the the needing to feel good. So when I was
in a sales position where I was literally, you know,
hitting the bricks, you know, walking from business to business,
(12:27):
and uh, I would be like and with after X
amount of rejections, then I go back and you know,
instead of prospecting, I was masturbating. And that's not that
really doesn't help business.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
It doesn't. It's the it's the band aid that you
had available to you to stop the pain the challenges
with something like that later on when you become cognizant
of it, and I don't know why I do that.
Here's the question. If anybody has ever said I don't
(13:08):
know why I do that, you have to really pay attention.
You're not the same eye that's asking the question that
was actually doing the act. And that's where we get confused.
We have these separate identities. But what happens in the brain,
We have these neural networks, and as a self talk instructor,
(13:29):
as somebody who teaches on the self talk Institute, everything
that you've said, anything you've ever done, has been recorded
in your brain. That which you repeat on a regular
basis becomes permanent. And what happens is the new neural
pathways of wanting to break this addiction you're talking about
a seven lane highway versus a goat path of frequency
(13:51):
allowing electrons to run down. And the way that you
change something is what's called through neural pruning. It's almost
impossible to shut down a seven lane highway with all
of the stimuli that can happen. So that's another challenge
of why it's so difficult, because the more it's done,
the more it's repeated, the mord's laid down, the morts,
it's easier in the brain says everything is this, and
(14:12):
that's the way we get our That's the way we
get our recognition, we get our we get we get
our acceptance. So it's a it's a challenge. It's it really.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Is the the that the high that that that highway
in your brain, all those you know, we we've built
this highway of sex and porn addiction. And and so
that is what I would That was my crutch that
(14:43):
that I leaned on. And you had said something really important,
you said, the things that we repeat to ourselves become permanent,
and so I had wanted to crush this addiction. So
I did what my doctor told me and said I
have had to go to twelve step beatings and in
the twelve sub meetings, every single time I went, we'd say,
(15:06):
I'd say Hi, this is how you were supposed to
introduce yourself. Hi, my name is Eric. I'm a sex
aholic and I'm addicted to porn. Oh no, I'm sorry,
and I'm powerless over porn. And that is what I
said for almost two decades. And guess what, I didn't
get any shocker here. I didn't get much better. In fact,
(15:27):
I got actually got worse, worse in the twelve step programs.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Well, you know, Hippocrates found out that when somebody had
a cold, he realized that I can't treat them the
same way. That's why we have the four personality types.
It's because of medicine and Hippocrates when he said, I
need to be able to figure out why this person
doesn't get well, and he had to change the solution
for each person, even though the diagnosis was the same.
(15:56):
And so what happens is that's how we wound up
with your If I don't know all of the person
I know disk the ISC right, and then there's the
go get or the red, the blue, the yellow, the green,
and that you're maybe you're a whale or a dolphin,
or a guppy or a turtle. The thing is that
there's four kinds of personalities and the challenges is that
every word has a result and depend upon what they're programming.
(16:21):
Is there's core beliefs that are inside of you. They're
not personality traits, they're core beliefs, and that's different. And
when you understand your core beliefs and you find out
what those are, then you have to decide you now
have the foundation that you can go build something with.
The Aimin Institute realizes there's sixteen brain types. There's four
(16:41):
primary and then there's the combination of them. And when
you understand the brain type, a couple of things happen.
One sometimes there's a huge nutritional deficiency that can upgrade
the hardware. Could you imagine your car running without oil.
Most people don't have enough omegas in their brain and
their body and their brain to allow them to make
(17:02):
better decisions. So there's all of these little things that
stack on top of each other. We used to own
a machine shop, and there's something called stack tolerances. You
put this one on top of this one on top
of this one, and if those three things were each
an inch by the time you stack them, because of
the irregularities, it's bigger than three inches. Well, you stack
(17:23):
a poor an addiction, and you stack a poor childhood,
and you stack a bad relationship and a rejection from
a sale, and all of a sudden, it's more than
just the four of those, and instantly we look for release.
We look to alleviate our pain. We either do it
for love or to avoid pain. And the things we
do to avoid pain sometimes create more pain. But it's
(17:44):
that addiction that we can easily fall into. I know
this works temporarily, and that's why it's called addiction, right.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
I really want to get into using nutrition to change
your brain a little later. But you're talking about love
and self love, and you had told this story about
Bob Proctor, And for those of you who aren't familiar
with Bob Proctor, Bob Proctor is an expert on Think
(18:18):
and Grow Rich and actually worked with It's the Mustache
Gui the Napoleon Hills.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Buddy, uh oh, No, I know who you're talking about.
His vice president of sales ran the insurance company.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Anyway, he has links to think and Grow Rich. I'll
just Napoleon Hill. So Bob Proctor does. So that is huge, huge,
And in the book Thinger Girl Rich, chapter eleven has
the mystery of sex transmutation. It is a must read
if you're listening to this podcast. But anyway, I tell
(18:58):
you if you could tell the story about Bob Proctor
and self love.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
So about twenty three years ago I hired Bob as
a mentor and my bride and I were going through
his classes. In two thousand and four, our house is
our house was destroyed in Florida by the three hurricanes
that crisscrossed right over central Florida. And I called Bob
and I said, Bob, I'm aggravated. I'm agitated. This is ridiculous.
(19:25):
I can't do this. I'm trying to build my business
out of my truck. And he says, how's your gratitude working?
I said, what am I grateful for? I'm looking at
my house. It's got a yellow sticker on it is condemned.
I said, what am I supposed to do? He says,
why don't you love yourself? Go? Are you crazy? I said,
what are you talking about? I said, we're professionals. We're
the world class leaders of our instag He says, I said,
(19:46):
do you love yourself? And he goes, look and he
backs away from the phone because we didn't have right
we weren't on zoo. He backs away from the phone.
He goes, love myself. He says, I'm kissing myself. I
kissed myself all the time, and he shifted my state.
And I tell that story two or three times a
week now. If we don't fall back in love with ourselves,
(20:09):
it's always this outside thing that keeps us from becoming
aware of the joy we're in right now. Sadgudu says,
in this moment, choose misery or choose joy. And people
who are addicted have masked misery because of the dopamine
hit to be the thing of joy in their life.
And it's really it's a it's really a chemical addiction
(20:32):
to just a variety of things.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, And the big challenge is with the self love
is usually like when I would act out with pornography, afterwards,
I would feel so much guilt and shame afterwards, I
certainly didn't feel self love right. Well, what would you
(20:55):
say to the person that's listening right now that's really
struggling and they're good, they're they're they're talking to the
screen or talking to their their phone right now going
what say I love myself? Are you? Are you crazy?
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Like?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Give me something practical, like what do you what do
you say to that person?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
So understanding that there's the brain's looking for two things.
Will this kill me? Or how fast could I recognize
the pattern? Right now? If you're listening to me a
new voice, you probably listened to Eric a while and
he's a familiar voice. This is literally what happens in
the brain, the vibrational state. You're okay with that. You
(21:33):
know he's on your side. You know he's got the
the the hood spot, he's got the stripes that he's
been there. My voice, on the other hand, isn't that
and it's coming. It can become as literally as an attack.
And that's the identity we call it in the four
archetypes that people use. That's the warrior that shows up,
and the warrior that shows up is ready for the fight.
(21:55):
And you have been fighting this disease, as Bob Proctor
would say, your body not at ease for minutes, days, decades,
and it's two it's not easy to let that down,
to think this is simple to change. So here's some
practical steps. This one's gonna this one's gonna send you
to the edge. It's gonna push you to the edge.
(22:17):
Start to write down ten things you love about you.
I have my students write out five hundred things they've
done well. The challenges is, when you're an addict, you
have you're thinking that the things you've done well need
to be pullitzerprise quality to offset the pain and suffering
you've been in. And the reality is it does not.
(22:39):
I'm telling you. The challenges is that you don't have
enough evidence of how amazing, of how amazing you are,
because the most recent evidence we use is the one
where we, as Eric said, we feel guilt, we feel shamed,
we feel less. Then, so while you're not in one
of those tender states, write down things that you've done well,
and I'm serious about anything. Did you graduate second grade? Right?
(23:04):
Did you learn how to drive a car? You have
you ever been on a plane. See, we don't think
those are well, that's nothing everybody's done. No, it was
your first time at some time, your porn started the
first time at some time. And if we can go
back to the moments, if we have it's literally a
(23:24):
math problem there. If we have enough moments to where
we can get out of our ears and into our
own eyes and see our evidence that we're a good person,
that we've done well. If you've ever hit a sales target,
if you've ever raised a child, if you've ever whatever,
you got a passport, any of these things qualify for
(23:44):
things that you've done well. We need evidence. This is
evidence based. You have the evidence of the addiction, you
have the evidence of the guilt, you have the evidence
of the files on your computer. Whatever it is we
need to create. We need to go to battle and
find the evidence of all of the things that make
you an amazing soul.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
I completely agree with you. And Anthony Robbins calls which
you just described stacking. He says that getting rid of
guilt and shame is really challenging. That's the bottom of
the wrung on the emotional ladder. And he says, instead
of trying to get rid of it, is to stack
(24:23):
all those successes up and write them down, like you said.
So that's awesome. I love that you said that.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
And for those listening, if they draw a little box
real quick on their paper, and in the top left
of the box they put potential what's the potential you
have to overcome the addiction. What's the potential? Not saying
you can do it in a second, but what's the potential.
It's one hundred percent, it's possible. Then there's the action.
So top left potential, top right actions. What are the
(24:52):
actions you can take? See the actions determine our results.
So bottom right hand corner, under actions you can put results.
And then our results determine what our beliefs. And that's
where this potential is taken away from us because of
these past beliefs. And when we have limiting beliefs, we
have limiting potential, which limits our actions, which limits our results,
(25:15):
and then the vicious cycle starts. If you start with
the writing down the things that you've done well, the
stacking start to stack in your favor. Here's what's going
to happen. That little voice in your head, that little
addiction to approval is going as soon as you start
and write down, going, I graduated first grade. This is stupid,
you already saying it. Then you go, I learned to
(25:37):
ride a bike. How friacking eight? This guy's an idiot.
I'm not an idiot. That's your old story looking for
validation to not change your identity.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
And change your identity. So that's my story. I had
one to countless twelve step meetings and said that I
was powerless over the addiction that I was a sexaholic.
And finally one day I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore.
This is not working, and I found this little app
(26:11):
that uses to help break addictions, and just in a whim,
I was creating my login and password and I thought,
you know, I'm going to put my log in as
powerful Eric, and in that moment, pitiful, powerless, porn addicted
Eric died and Powerful Eric was born. Identity change is huge.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Well, and this is why I've done trainings on limiting identities,
and literally those identities can rip the fabric of time
and space and make you see things that aren't there,
make you do things that How many of you have
ever been in an argument with somebody and at the
end of it, when it was all said and done,
somebody says, I can't believe you said that. What did
I say? You said this? There's no way I said that.
(26:58):
Oh hell yeah, I have it. I got it on video.
I was waiting for you to throw fists and what
happens is that we don't realize who we are. We
wind up going back into our default mode. There's something
in the brain called the default mode network that when
we're not activated by our environment, we wind up in
our default mode. This is how you can drive home
(27:19):
for two hours or forty five minutes in traffic and go,
how did I get home? I don't even remember getting home.
This is how you can spend two or three hours
addicted to porn, watching porn, doing that and you don't
even realize the time is gone because it's your default
mode network. There's ways around that, and it's activating the
prefrontal cortex, activating the thinking mind again. And we can
talk more about that, yeah, second part.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, and I would love to hear more about that.
And like I said, using nutrition to actually physically change
your brain, all these things are just so important. I
was just for I got on this podcast with you.
(28:02):
I was talking to a friend of mine and she,
as coincidence would have it, is just now taking recently
some supplement brain supplements, and she said that they've been
really helpful. And by the way, I'm not selling brain
supplements here about that she find it really helpful.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yeah, there's certain things Gabba omega threes in the right percentages,
d A D H. It's just it's a hydration hydration.
We're a five percent reduction in hydration, which most people
are almost chronically dehydrated. But a five percent reduction in
short term and five percent reduction in hydration is a
(28:47):
two percent loss of short term memory. So if you
want to get two percent smarter, like quick, get your
right amount of fluid flow into your body.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Right. Well, Sean, I appreciate you being with us today.
We're going to have Sean back for the next podcast
as well. So Sean, any final words for us today
before we meet?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Jim Aroon said, you can't go back and make a
brand new start. You can start and create a brand
new ending. And it's not that you need to do more,
it's you need to do less. And when that sinks in,
you'll realize you have all of the capability and capacity
in you right now.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Awesome, love it all right, So please join us next week. Well, Sean,
we'll share more of the how tos and the positive
side of things of the brain changing the brain, and
so we will see you next week.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Are you struggling with porn or sex addiction. Then apply
for a free strategy call with Eric today at powerfuleric
dot com.