Probably Poly

Probably Poly

Podcast by Probably Poly

Episodes

January 8, 2023 64 mins
We're diving into a reader question on creating effective community spaces.  This episode we discuss safer spaces, braver spaces and creative interventions.  Is the ban hammer the way to go or are there compassionate ways to manage safety concerns? What does success look like for a harms process?  References: chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.creative-interventions.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/CI-To...
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Episode 69 (Over Rated Sex Acts) is now live! Join us as we discuss how to navigate common events in polyamory communities.  What difficulties do attendees experience engaging in new spaces? Get a better understanding of how community leaders approach community events.  Learn ways to become more involved and how to create a space that fits you best. Don’t forget to subscribe if you want notifications when we post new episodes. C...
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January 22, 2022 48 mins
Laugh with us as we giggle and guffaw in our 69th episode discussing overrated sex acts. We normally bring you heavy topics, but this episode is all about fun. We would like to caveat that the information presented is based on our own experiences and opinions. C*m and celebrate with us getting to number 69. Don’t forget to subscribe if you want notifications when we post new episodes. Citations: - Photo by Daria Sannikova fro...
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July 30, 2021 66 mins
You asked for an episode on the ethics of Unicorn Hunting and we gave it to you! Listen to Michael, Mandee, and Sarah discuss the defining factors for Unicorn Hunting. What are the red flags and prep work needed if you are considering this relationship style or being approached to join a couple? We also discuss how to address Unicorn Hunting as a group leader. Citations: - Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels - OPP Episode: htt...
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June 17, 2021 64 mins
Join us as we welcome back Sarah and introduce a method of creating durable, modular, and ethical agreements to help you meet your safer sex goals. Once a much talked about concept fluid bonding agreements have fallen out of favor in ethical non-monogamy for being often problematic and hierarchal, and we can’t help but agree. However, there were some valuable concepts we wanted to salvage and continue to polish into more useful and...
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In this episode we look at building up trust and open honest communication, especially how to build trust with people who have experienced betrayals in the past, from yourself or others. We also look at the power of gratitude and communication tools to make it all work.
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February 7, 2021 55 mins
Episode 65 (Crystal Byrd Farmer on The Token) is now live! We are very lucky to have Crystal Byrd Farmer drop by this week to talk about her book. “The Token” is a practical guide, including workshops, on how to look critically at majority communities wishing to increase diversity across any axis as well as common mistakes, how well meaning people are often still doing harm, and the best ways to avoid those harms. Citations: Crys...
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We have the amazing honor this week of interviewing five of the people who spoke up about their experiences with Franklin Veaux, who have gone collectively by the name "the Franklin Veaux survivors" (although they don't all individually identify as survivors) — Melanie, Rose, Celeste, Eve and Marissa. We talk about what went right and what went wrong during the harms process and ways in which we can apply these lessons to our commu...
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November 14, 2020 54 mins
In this episode explore the ethics of closed relationships. This includes explicitly non-monogamous closed relationships (often called poly-fidelitous) as well as how unintentionally closed relationships that represent or see themselves as open form. Visual Resource for Boundaries, Wants & Needs Visualization: probablypoly.com/resources
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October 26, 2020 46 mins
In this episode we invite therapist Dr. Daniel Stillwell on the show to discuss the difference between the ways in which he applies the theories of boundaries, needs, and wants in his practice and common ways these theories are discussed or talked about in relationship help texts and the poly community at large. We separate multiple functioning ways to apply different versions of these theories for different scenarios and discuss t...
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October 12, 2020 62 mins
Episode 61 (Couples Privilege) is now live! If you have at least one relationship then you have couples privilege. In this episode we look at what causes couples privilege, why it is so hard to see in yourself, and what we can do to help alleviate the sorts of harms that couples privilege is likely to cause. Join Our Next Chat tomorrow Saturday November 7th from 5 to 7pm EST: meet.google.com/ftw-gpod-adc
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September 25, 2020 51 mins
We attempt to provide both theory and application advise in relationship ethics. One of the best ways to do that is to take information from one or more of our theory episodes and apply them to a detailed case provided by a listener. This is the first of our case study series and it looks at a very difficult and intertwined situation of a person realizing they are non-monogamous after 17 years of marriage and investigating what opt...
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September 9, 2020 54 mins
One of the most common confusions we hear in Ethical Non-Monogamy is, what exactly are boundaries, needs, and wants. How can you tell them apart? How can you tell if your partner really has a need or if it’s just a want? In this episode we tackle these questions and more as we attempt to clearly explain boundaries, needs, and wants. Join Our Next Chat on Saturday September 26th from 5 to 7pm EST: meet.google.com/zta-qeiw-kbn Cita...
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August 24, 2020 67 mins
Consent is one of the most difficult and important topics in interpersonal ethics. Join us as we try and work out some of the more difficult questions associated with this tangled topic. What exactly do we mean when we say “consent”. What sort of consent can we give? When is consent alone not enough to guarantee that an interaction is ethical. Citations: First Video Episode at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKjr-doAGKk&t=36s
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August 11, 2020 52 mins
Sharing emotions with the people around you is a cornerstone of authenticity but its easier said than done (especially in a culture which unfairly praises apparent objectivity), and much easier said than done to do it ethically. This week we look at all the benefits of that emotional content, the myth of the neutral “logical” position, and how to engage that content as ethically as possible. Next Group Chat will be August 22nd fr...
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July 28, 2020 51 mins
This week we look at the origins of shame and other judgmental moral emotions. What role they played evolutionarily and the ethical problems they present and how these harmful emotions are bound up in the desire and problems with gatekeeping the term polyamory itself.
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July 11, 2020 54 mins
While everyone deals with mourning, as non-monogamous individuals we also need to be able and willing to support our partners through the loss of other partners. In this episode we deal with loss and how to mourn losses and integrate those adjustments into your own life as well as some of the best ways to support others do the same. All forms of loss cause morning and being able to morn and help those we are in relationships with...
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June 27, 2020 52 mins
Join us this week for a lighter, but still socially responsible, discussion of how to use relationship games to improve your long distance relationships by adding depth and allowing emotional bonding on par with in person relationships. This episode is of course a little more explicit than our regular content. This episode both introduces these concepts and explores the philosophy that undergirds their use and appeal. No zoom ch...
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June 16, 2020 59 mins
I do not have a pithy teaser for you this week. This episode was difficult to record and difficult to edit. We explain why all of us who want to lay a claim to being ethical must participate in the Black Lives Matter movement to the best of our ability, why all oppression must be fought everywhere and every time we find it, and why ENM and Polyamory are fundamentally radical and anti oppression. If we made any mistakes in dealing w...
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June 5, 2020 14 mins
This week we made our first episode in a new series we are calling Probably Poly Particulars. This is basically a zoomed in topic done as a video and we were so fortunate to have Ash Williams of Charlotte Uprising, a local organizer working in the BLM movement on the show to talk about the amazing work they are doing in charlotte. The only problem is no one knows we do video's yet. So we are releasing it as a podcast as well to sig...
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