February 28, 2025 • 30 mins
I have been a huge fan of Brianna Wiest for years—her words have deeply inspired me, and I know so many of you feel the same. Having her on Redesigning Life was truly an honor and our conversation was everything I hoped it would be. We talked about transformation, resilience, and stepping into the life that’s meant for you—just like she writes about in her incredible new book, The Life That’s Waiting. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this episode!
We explore the nuances of life’s waiting game, uncovering the lessons embedded in patience and timing. The discussion reveals how acceptance of life's pauses can lead to growth and understanding.
• Importance of self-exploration and personal alignment
• Brianna discusses her journey and impact of her writing
• The transformative potential of waiting and trusting timing
• Embracing boundaries for mental well-being
• Strategies for creating space and prioritizing self-care
• Life lessons learned from pain and heartbreak
Brianna on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/briannawiest/?hl=en
https://www.briannawiest.com/
HER NEW BOOK: https://bit.ly/4btwITW
Connect with me on social:
https://www.instagram.com/sabrina_soto
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Redesigning Life.
I'm your host, sabrina Soto,and this is the space where we
have honest conversations aboutpersonal growth, mindset shifts
and creating a life that feelstruly aligned.
In each episode, I'll talk toexperts in their fields who
share their insights to help youstep into your higher self.
Let's redesign your life fromthe inside out.
Brianna, I am so excited tohave you on Redesigning Life
(00:27):
because I am such a fan of yours.
I have never sent more of yourwritings to anybody and, like
all of my friends, nobody.
You are like the most importantauthor in my life, so thank you
for being on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You're going to make me cry.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Thank, you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
We haven't even started.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Yet the Life of Waiting is your new book.
I know you're calling it theencyclopedia of life, but I feel
like I have this book thatMartha Stewart wrote.
It's like the handbook for yourhouse, where it's like, if you
need to fix the screen, you pickit up and figure it out.
I feel like this book is ahandbook for somebody's life
because you read, it's like youeven say the chapters if you're
feeling this, read this.
(01:06):
And it's such a, it's such agood book.
I don't even know who you are,because you you're so wise that
you must, but you must have like70,000 past lives.
I do actually feel that way.
I actually do the way you write.
If you if anyone who'slistening follows on Instagram,
(01:26):
you know what I'm talking about.
The way she writes, the littleparagraphs or poems that she
puts out, are life-changing.
So first, with this book, youmentioned that this is the first
book idea that you've had andit took years for you to
complete.
But what was the turning pointthat made you ready to finally
write this book?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
you know, I think I was honestly looking ahead to
the future, to like new projectsand maybe even like trying a
new genre or you know, kind oflike you know what's next for me
.
I mean, I have to be like honest.
After I finished writing theMountain is you, I did feel a
sense of completion within myown self and, you know, I think
(02:03):
like writing is one of the greatloves of my life and so it's
something that I'm will alwaysbe doing in some way, just
because it's so much a part ofwho I am.
Now, you know, whether whetherit's published or not doesn't
even matter, it's just, you know, part of my, my day-to-day life
.
And the more I was kind oflooking ahead to you know, what
would I, what feels alive to me,what's calling me, what's
inspiring me, what's making methink, what's making me tick
(02:26):
right now, the more I couldn'tshake the feeling of I really
have to do this one justice,though it was almost like this
dream that a younger me had thatI had never saw all the way
through, and I was like before II've got to finish this, like
I've got to just put this outthere.
And you know, do you know themovie Some Dog Millionaire?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
No, oh, yes.
No, that was a long time ago.
I watched it once.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
It's, you know, and kind of the premise of the movie
is.
You know, the guy you know winsthe game show, through all of
these kind of like almostdiscordant you know life
experiences that he had, thateach gave him an answer.
And I swear I was having thiskind of slumped moment, you know
, putting together this book,where I was like you know I
couldn't have written this oneday sooner than I did, because I
(03:13):
was living out the answers tothe questions I was asking
without even knowing that I was.
And it was really kind ofemotional for me when I look
back at it or, you know, parsethrough it from reading it for
something, because I'm like youknow, I remember the moment
where that clarity came to me orI remember that lesson, how
hard it was at that time.
But for it to all come togetherand like, like in this way is
(03:35):
just, it's a really, reallymeaningful book to me.
I mean, they're all meaningfulin different ways, but this
one's like a little extra alittle extra special.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I think we need to put together like the entire
library as like a box set forpeople for their lives.
Okay, I would love done Pleasedo that, please do that.
When I read your writings I'mlike what has this woman gone
through?
You are so young and it justseems like you're so wise.
Like how, what are the sort ofthings that you've been through
(04:02):
to get you to this?
Point now Like who are you beenthrough to get?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
you to this point now , like, who are you?
First of all, I love you.
Second of all, you know thereare so many things that I've
been through in my life that Ithink you know I could talk to
about anyone that would say youknow, same right Kind of normal
things, right that I think thatat times I just maybe took
harder than other people did.
And then there's been someabnormal stuff too that I think
(04:27):
is not as common but wasdefinitely par for my story in
life.
But it was not any one of thoseexperiences that broke this
open.
It was the culmination of them,and what it showed me is that
every single one of us has anaccess point inside of us and
(04:48):
you have it and all of myreaders have it.
Everyone in my life that I'mclose to and connected to has it
.
And I know that you do, becausewhen you read what I'm writing
from that place, it makes senseto you, it resonates to you.
That's that same active partinside of you connecting to
where I'm accessing it inside ofme, and the.
(05:12):
You know, one of the craziestthings about this whole journey
has been, you know, you kind ofstart out at the beginning.
I'm kind of and I don't meanthis in a bad way at all, but
I'm not like special.
I really don't mean it that way, though, but thank you, but I
really, you know, when I wasyounger, I just was so
passionate about writing and Iwas really, you know, going
through some really tough mentalhealth stuff and really wanted
(05:34):
to heal, really wanted to changemy life.
But you know, when I was kindof starting by the way, I should
just add in here my life planwas to be a news writer or a
journalist, and I thought, youknow, I'm going to use writing
in this way, and I think a bigthing that held me back was just
kind of like, I mean, right, sowhen I had the first idea for
this book, I was like, I mean, Iwish this book existed, but
(05:55):
like someone like me doesn'twrite books, you know, like
someone else should do it, andwhat I have discovered time and
time again is that every time Istumble on something that I
think is the weakness or thedetriment or the problem, every
single time it is the gift, andwhat I found over all these
years is that I don't have suchan extraordinary story or life
(06:15):
other than doing this writing,but I truly believe in my heart
and soul that that is what makesit resonate with so many other
people, and it's not to say thateveryone is truly remarkable in
their own way.
I don't mean it like that.
I makes it resonate with somany other people and it's not
to say that, you know, everyoneis truly remarkable in their own
way.
You know, I don't, I don't meanit like that.
I think it's just that you know, I think any one of my readers
and I really feel this in myheart and I hope they feel this
(06:36):
way too we could sit down and befriends.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Like like it would just friend, I really do your
books.
I'm like this is my best friend.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Well, first of all, thank you, and that's what I
want you to feel, but also whatI feel like you're able to feel,
because I try to come at thingsand really from the only place
I can come out them, come atthem, excuse me, which is just.
You know, I'm seriously just aperson just trying to figure out
my life.
Yeah, like literally everyoneelse, like in all the ways you
(07:06):
are and everyone around me istoo.
But I will also add, I'verambled for a long time.
Cut me off whenever you want,but when I was first starting to
write, I would use first personwork, so I would storytell more
, and I found that people likedit but not really.
And there was this big momentwhere I realized could I have
(07:26):
the courage and surrender theego, to take myself out and to
create a container where otherpeople could put themselves in?
And that is when the wholething really took off for me.
And so you know, what I wastalking about at the beginning
was I was kind of thinking aheadto you know what could be next,
and I've really had a memoir.
I've wanted to write about oneparticular experience in my life
that you know, every time Italked to even friends about it.
(07:48):
They're like I know you don'twant to, but you really should
make a book out of that.
You know I don't write in thatstyle.
I don't, I don't.
I have to learn how to writedialogue Like.
It's a big learning curve forme, but you know I I look
forward or am hoping to lookforward to, you know, share more
of the you know kind ofpersonal one-on-one.
You know stories of like thingsthat have happened or like when
we hear that story.
(08:09):
Oh, I've got a few, but thisone's like a really specific one
unfortunately, I'm really wildtoo.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
We should talk, we should we should hang out just
I'll tell you so you were, butgoing back to what you're saying
of that, you didn't evenrealize that you were living
through chapters of this book,and I think a lot of listeners
right now are going throughimpatient time of their life
Like they want to happen rightnow.
(08:35):
But you're you are a great, youknow reminder that the universe
has better timing than we do,and sometimes you have to wait.
Yes, just yesterday I was ableto release the trailer for my
new show.
That took 10 years to create 10years, and there were so many
times that I cried over it nothappening.
But if it would have happenedanytime before now, it wouldn't
(08:57):
have been right.
And so if somebody is listeningto this and they feel a little
bit stuck, what advice would yougive to someone where, if
they're in a moment wheresomething's not clicking and
they're doing all the rightthing but things aren't coming
together when you felt like that, how do you shift back into
trusting the universe?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I still deal with this basically every day of my
life I'm not even kidding youand every single time I have to
remind myself what I ultimatelyknow is true, which is that the
one variable in life that we notonly don't control, but
oftentimes can't see with fullclarity, is not just the timing
but the purpose for the timing,and it is so much bigger and so
(09:36):
much more interwoven than youcan imagine.
And that's where you know, Ithink, that co creation starts
to come in where you surrender.
So the thing I always say isyou're going to tell life what,
but life is going to tell youhow, so you know.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So when you say but life is going to tell you how
that is.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right, yeah, but if you don't listen to the how,
you're not going to get to thewhat.
So?
So I mean, I come across this,I mean seriously, every day,
sabrina.
It's like I'm telling life Iwant soulmate love, okay, life's
saying not with them, andthat's the holdup, right.
So it's like, well, I'm tryingto tell life, this is what I
(10:13):
want, and it's like, but thenyou're arguing with life and
life is trying to show you, youknow, you're trying to tell life
, well, I want to build abusiness, I don't know whatever
it is, and then life is saying,okay, well, not selling that,
and it's this.
You know, again, I'm talkingabout this kind of ego surrender
that I I even really wentthrough in my own career of my
willing to let go, my willing tosurrender that you know to, to
step into the bigger picture,and it's really amazing where
life will carry you.
(10:33):
You know when you do that.
But the thing about you knowthe purpose of this moment is
when things are either notcoming like the way you thought,
or as quickly as you thought,or in the timing you thought, or
as quickly as you thought, orin the timing you think they're
supposed to be happening.
What you don't know is thatthere is something in this
literal exact moment that youare learning, growing from
growing into becoming through,that you don't recognize.
(10:55):
And in a year from now, fiveyears from now, you will look
back and be like, oh my God, Iget it, I get it, I see it, I
see it, but it's true, andthere's, there's, there's a,
there's a purpose beyond justyou know.
Oh, it'll come one day.
You know, have patience.
It's like there's probablysomething, literally in this
exact experience, that you needto become the person that can
(11:17):
handle what it is you are askingfor.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
There's something right here now.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
When you're in it, when you're in it, you're like
this sucks, I don't want.
I've been in pretty like badsituations, whether it's a
relationship or a career, andyou just want it to shift.
But sometimes it's like Istarted realizing, it's like
this is happening for me andlearning that there is a lesson
in the struggles.
And you said that life willbreak your heart if it means
(11:45):
saving your soul which, by theway, what a line?
Can you talk more about that?
Because I think I've beenthrough a lot of heartbreak and,
looking back now I realizedthat it did get me to the point
where I am now.
But it sucks when you're in it.
No-transcript, I thought I wasnever going to get over it.
(12:36):
That's just going to.
This is going to be.
Daughter was in the back of thecar I went.
I went wait, that's amazing, Ididn't just make that up and I'm
like don't forget it.
No, it doesn't matter, but butwhen you're in it, you actually
think it will last forever andit doesn't, that's exactly right
(12:58):
and it doesn't know.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Also, you know, through that processing like,
there's kind of sometimes areason you can't see a step
ahead.
The reason is for you to bewith this discomfort right now,
because I know it is socounterintuitive and you're like
WCF is this?
This is insane.
But there is somethinghappening.
Through this transit, NapoleonHill, every adversity, every
heartache carries with it theseed of an equal or greater
(13:23):
benefit.
But I think what's mostimportant about remembering that
is it's a seed, okay.
So what has to happen to a seed?
It has to be buried, it has tosprout, it has to be nurtured.
It's not a guarantee.
You know what I mean when peoplesay, like you know, well,
everything happens for a reason.
It's like well, you can make,you can decide, you are going to
find the meaning for this, youcan choose that.
(13:44):
It's not always pretty rarelyactually it's going to just come
to you, but so many times in mylife I have chosen to no.
This is not the valley, this ismy pivot point.
I've lost this.
I don't have that.
You know what?
What is the silver lining here?
When I don't have this, what isthe equal but opposite, but
(14:07):
likewise present reality, what'savailable to me in this moment.
What advantages do I have thatother people don't?
I don't have a child, and Ihave had a long journey with
this, but for other people whodo as well, it's like that can
become this eclipsing thing,Like I'm so in lack, I'm so
(14:27):
without, I'm so far behind, andit's like pause, what can you do
right now that you couldn't dootherwise?
If that was your reality, youmust move in that direction,
because that's how life istrying to move you down the
river.
You know what I mean.
And again, it's thatsurrendering of you know what I
think I want, what I think Ineed, and into the greater
(14:48):
wholeness and truth at thismoment.
And the other thing that Iremind myself of every 24 hours
and everyone I love, I remindthem too which is nobody has
everything.
I'm just kidding, she mightactually, she might actually,
some people might no, but for us, for us normies, I love that
(15:08):
for the rest of us nobody haseverything and so, but everybody
has something and you need tofocus on your something.
Yeah, because you're going tospend the rest of your life
focusing on the one thing youdon't have, or the many things
you don't have, and you're goingto miss your something, and
then all these years are goingto pass.
You're going to miss yoursomething and then all these
years are going to pass.
You're going to look back andyou're going to be like but I
did have, I had one true friend,but I did have that one work
(15:32):
thing that came through, but Ihad a roof over my head and a
bed to sleep in.
If that's all it is, that is asomething you know.
It's, it's, it's all of us.
We know.
We go through the years.
It's this constant lack, lack,lack, lack, lack.
And you look back and you'relike, wow, how much I actually
had and didn't even appreciate.
And I think gratitude makesthings grow.
(15:52):
I really do.
I think your attention makesthings grow when you bring your
attention onto.
This is everything that I dohave, and even in the spaces of
okay.
Well, these are things I don'thave right now, but these are
the opportunities that could beavailable, because I don't have
them.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yes, You're absolutely right.
I I unfortunately I had to.
I lost my dog last year, at theend of last year and so sorry.
It was the worst pain I've ever, literally the worst pain.
And when I had to put her down,a friend of mine called and he
said now start doing the thingsyou couldn't do when she was
(16:27):
alive, like traveling.
And I thought that was like howdare he say that.
But it is the celebrating, thelove that I had with her, but
then also the gratitude of thenext chapter of my life and what
that looks like.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
And it's hard again when you're in the pain, but
it's so true what you're sayingand can I add something onto
that too, Because this hasworked for me so many times and
I've given this to friends andit's worked for them too trying
to get over a breakup or a lossof some kind, the only thing
that would ever truly start toget me over it is making a list
I mean, I mean a literal one,not like a, not metaphorically,
(16:59):
I mean literally writing it downof reasons You're kind of
secretly glad it's over.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Oh God, I still couldn't do that with my dog.
The breakups, no, no, no, notthe pup All day long.
I'll write it down.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Not the pup, but I just mean like you know, when
it's like it's like a job falls,I mean like a job or a
boyfriend or we know whateverthat kind of stuff.
Yes, not the puppy, but but butit's like with with that kind
of stuff, it's like when youstart to seek those silver
linings, that peacefulness findsyou where it's like, okay,
(17:33):
there is a perspective shifthere.
But I also do think there'slike I don't think being healed
and healthy is just being calmall the time.
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I think it's having that Seriously, I'm going to
actually just put that clip andsend it to my mother.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I really think that, to me, healed is I'm able to
move through my spectrum offeelings without getting caught
in one or the other.
So it's like when it's time togrieve, you grieve.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like you've experienced.
Your body needs to.
You need to take time, you needto go through these waves.
There is nothing wrong with youbecause that's happening.
You're actually probably anormal, healthy, adaptive person
(18:09):
responding to a set ofcircumstances.
That's incredibly difficult,but because life is what it is,
not only do we not know what itwill present us or give, we
don't know if it'll get betteror worse, and so we have to
expand our resilience and ourown bandwidth, which is, you
know, I'm going to be able tomeet this moment.
I'm going to work on me.
I'm going to work on this.
(18:30):
You know, I'm going to groundmyself more.
And whatever it is, you know my.
I once read that anxiety is acrisis of your trust in yourself
, and yeah, and, and, and.
A place where you can start torepair, that is if you sit down
with what you have anxiety aboutand you say okay, where are the
breaks in my trust with myself?
Where am I not trusting myself?
(18:51):
Where am I not showing up formyself, or where do I not trust
myself to show up?
And it's not that you have tofix it overnight, but even just
to become aware of I'm feelingstressed because I don't trust
myself to like stay on top ofthis whatever it is, and I think
that that can really like startsome real inner repair too.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
What are your?
I mean knowing that you getinto ruts.
What are your like habits,daily habits that you do other
than gratitude?
Or even if you get a rut, like,how do you, how do you get out
of it?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
personally, the first thing is to let myself feel
like shit.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
What does that look like for you, cause I you look
so put together right now, Ican't imagine this.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Okay, well, also.
I don't know who can show ofyourself tomorrow morning.
Yes, like well, I actually will, because this is I am just
fresh off of like a like amorning show.
So this is like a professionalbeat on my face, okay, so my
hair looks so frizzy.
It's not usually this nice, butI, by the way I did this on, I
(19:50):
was like, oh, I'm already goingto be ready to do all the
podcasts now like.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Like you wake up in the morning, you don't feel good
.
What do you do?
Like what's your personal, likehabit or self-care practice?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I try to just do the bare minimum and I know this
sounds kind of crazy, but that'smy honest truth.
It's like if I need comfortableclothes, like I'll wear
comfortable clothes.
Like if I need to cook myselfsome comfort foods, like I will
do that.
If I need to go outside listento music, whatever it is, I just
try to follow what I need inthat moment and not try to solve
all of my problems like in anhour, which is like so much my
(20:23):
tendency.
And every time I just allowmyself kind of to be human.
I think we have this likeunrealistic expectation of
ourselves where it's like I needto be on, I need to be together
, I've got to have it alltogether at all times and it's
just like.
But the nature of being human,for every single one of us, is
(20:46):
these ebbs and flows, and everysingle time I'm in a rut and get
out of it, it kind of happens.
Naturally.
I mean it Like if I just keeplike moving along, like it will
like pass, but every time itdoes something is stronger,
better, clearer than it wasprior, and every single time I'm
able to look back on who I wasbefore that and after and I'm
like, oh wow, that was somegrowth that was happening, that
was some releasing that washappening, even if I didn't know
(21:08):
it at the time, Because at thetime you're just like I'm
miserable on this side.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
In order to prepare for you to be on the podcast, I
was listening to old or like tointerviews that you've been on
and talks that you've done, andyou said something that it was
actually made me laugh, becauseyou were talking about something
that you had done to shift yourlife.
You were discussing the pivotyear.
Another amazing book book mustget it.
If anyone is listening, justactually get all of her books.
(21:35):
But you said that one of themost powerful things you did was
to put your phone on do notdisturb.
Do you remember saying this?
Yeah, baby, and I was listening.
I'm like, oh my gosh, how manytimes I'm interrupted in a day
for phone calls and stuff thatgets me off track.
And that is the smallest,easiest thing anybody can
implement in their life.
Can you talk about how you'vecreated boundaries in your life
(21:57):
and how that has changed yourlife for the better?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Oh, I mean, you know my life has also moved into a
place where it's like necessaryat this point you know what I
mean Like I can't, like I Iwouldn't do anything else but
like respond to other people ifI didn't have that boundary.
And it's like I try to make asmuch time for that as I can, but
also I can't let it like run meto the ground.
Do you know what I mean?
Like I have to eventually say,okay, I need to tap out, but I
(22:21):
put my phones on to not disturbright now.
Like it is, but it is every dayand I to me.
I think that's also just a wayof communicating to other people
.
If I'm not respondingimmediately, it's not personal,
like I'm just my focus iselsewhere.
Do you know what I mean?
Because I think that's whatwould give me anxiety about not
being like.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
So wait, do you, let's say, somebody calls, do
you have like an automaticresponse like busy call you
later, or just no answer?
Speaker 2 (22:49):
No, it depends on who it is and what it's for.
But if it's someone I need tojust like get back to, I will
just kind of like be honest withthem If it's not undue, no
stirper.
They just like, hey, what aboutthis?
And I'm like, oh, hey, like I'mdoing this today, but can I
call you on this day?
And I'll just be like honest.
Or I'm like, oh, I'm just likehaving a, like I'm taking off
(23:12):
today, can I like do this later?
And everyone's like, oh, my gosh, yeah, but you're not
disappointing them.
You're actually like makingthem happy.
Because they're like, oh,perfect, talk to you tomorrow.
Yeah, and it really can be thateasy actually, because I know
that when I'm on the receivingend of that, if I'm like, oh,
hey, what about this?
And they're like, oh, Iappreciate, hey, at dinner I'll
(23:47):
talk to you tomorrow, I'm like,oh, like, for most of time did
not well, a few things didn'thave like all of the world's
information accessible, like inthe palm of their life and many
people they don't even know, allat once, I think it does
something psychologically that Idon't know.
That is always so healthy forus to be honest with you, but I
think also that being on demandthing.
Do you know what I mean whenpeople can just command your
(24:13):
attention at any time?
Do you remember the days oflike?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
a labor all of a sudden.
We used to have work hours ofnine to five.
Now work hours are 24 seven.
That and the comparison factorthat we're having of media that
we should know it's.
It does no matter how strongyou are.
I think that everyone suffersfrom I'm not doing enough, I'm
not there enough.
And if somebody is listening tothis and feels like they're
(24:39):
kind of in a rut and they're not, they didn't make it yet or
they want to change.
What would you say to somebodythat you know maybe they want to
shift their life but can't?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
I think the first place we all have to start is by
identifying what's our actualwant for fulfillment versus what
do we think is going to fill ina picture that would kind of
like generate a validation fromother people.
I know it sounds probablysimple, but I think that the
more that we like something, theless we need other people to
Wait, this is the quote.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Okay, this is your quote.
The more you like something,the less you need other people
to, and the more wait, and thenthe less you need people to like
something, the more they will,the more they do.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
That's a good quote.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's so good.
First of all, thank you.
Second, any time in my life Iwas like the most hung up on,
like I'm behind.
I don't compare, you know, I doother.
What do other people think ofit?
Every single time it was insome way about some part of my
life or in some experience whereI kind of felt empty with it.
It wasn't actually fulfillingme, Like I didn't feel good,
Like I wasn't having any kind ofgood experience with it, and so
(25:47):
then I would kind of hyperfixate on like well, like kind
of like, do other people knowthis isn't working?
And the answer is mixed.
It's like sometimes, sometimesvery intuitive friends are like
yeah, I can tell something's up,or I think a lot of the world
doesn't really think about Idon't think other people think
about us the way that we thinkthey do.
To be honest with you, Right,Like I think that they're
Nobody's talking about me rightnow.
(26:08):
No, like they're doing their ownlife.
They're like busy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, Like they have their ownstuff going on.
But I think we all think thatwe all feel like we're under
this microscope and it's likeanxiety inducing, of like am I?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
enough, like it's not an ego thing.
I think we think that peopleare having like husband and
wives.
Friends of ours are like in thecoffee in the morning and be
like honey.
Let's talk about Sabrina.
It's like nobody's doing that.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Like nobody's doing that, right, but we think that
they are somehow which is whatkeeps us up at night, being like
, oh God, you know what I mean.
And I think that also, peoplehave not only grace, but genuine
appreciation for just beinghuman.
You know what I mean.
I have so many friends in mylife.
It's like I'm going through itright now.
(26:50):
I'm like, okay, you know what,We'll go through it together.
Like it's okay.
You know what I mean.
Like it's okay.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Okay, two last things .
So, obviously, the life that'swaiting is your new book.
Get it.
Everyone who's listening get it.
If you are listening right now,just while you're listening, if
you're listening on your phone,go and follow her on Instagram,
because it is one of the bestaccounts I follow, always
forwarding your memes or yourpoems and your writings.
But if, what would you?
(27:16):
What would you say?
Is your the first book of yoursthat you would recommend to a
new reader?
It's somebody who hasn't everread one of your books before
101 essays.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
That will change the way you think it's kind of like.
It's kind of like the starterpack.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
It's kind of like put together an ultimate box set.
Okay, give me, like, just giveme the set as a gift, I'll be
your first customer.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
You're my first customer.
Thank you, maybe my only, but Ihope there's a hug to it for
you though.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
No, seriously, call it whatever you want, but just
call it like the ultimate lifebook set, because it's the
Mountain Is.
You is the first book that Igot of yours and it just
introduced me to you, but I wasgoing through it at the time.
And since then I just I can't.
I mean, I'm telling you I amyour biggest fan.
I'm going to actually start aFacebook fan page and I'll be
the president.
I seriously love you.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
And look at, we're like wearing the same thing,
we're like match.
This is not planned.
This is not planned.
This is just kindred spiritshit.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I seriously adore you Spirit shit.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I don't know what that is Spirit shit.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, that's it, Spirit shit.
Anyone listening in the shownotes, I will have the
information on the book, all ofthe books.
Instagram, the whole nine howyou can get in touch.
You're the best, Thank you.
Thank you so much for being onyou.
Welcome to Redesigning Life.
I'm your host, sabrina Soto,and this is the space where we
have honest conversations aboutpersonal growth, mindset shifts
and creating a life that feelstruly aligned.
In each episode, I'll talk toexperts in their fields who
share their insights to help youstep into your higher self.
Let's redesign your life fromthe inside out.
Brianna, I am so excited tohave you on Redesigning Life
(00:27):
because I am such a fan of yours.
I have never sent more of yourwritings to anybody and, like
all of my friends, nobody.
You are like the most importantauthor in my life, so thank you
for being on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You're going to make me cry.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Thank, you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
We haven't even started.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Yet the Life of Waiting is your new book.
I know you're calling it theencyclopedia of life, but I feel
like I have this book thatMartha Stewart wrote.
It's like the handbook for yourhouse, where it's like, if you
need to fix the screen, you pickit up and figure it out.
I feel like this book is ahandbook for somebody's life
because you read, it's like youeven say the chapters if you're
feeling this, read this.
(01:06):
And it's such a, it's such agood book.
I don't even know who you are,because you you're so wise that
you must, but you must have like70,000 past lives.
I do actually feel that way.
I actually do the way you write.
If you if anyone who'slistening follows on Instagram,
(01:26):
you know what I'm talking about.
The way she writes, the littleparagraphs or poems that she
puts out, are life-changing.
So first, with this book, youmentioned that this is the first
book idea that you've had andit took years for you to
complete.
But what was the turning pointthat made you ready to finally
write this book?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
you know, I think I was honestly looking ahead to
the future, to like new projectsand maybe even like trying a
new genre or you know, kind oflike you know what's next for me
.
I mean, I have to be like honest.
After I finished writing theMountain is you, I did feel a
sense of completion within myown self and, you know, I think
(02:03):
like writing is one of the greatloves of my life and so it's
something that I'm will alwaysbe doing in some way, just
because it's so much a part ofwho I am.
Now, you know, whether whetherit's published or not doesn't
even matter, it's just, you know, part of my, my day-to-day life
.
And the more I was kind oflooking ahead to you know, what
would I, what feels alive to me,what's calling me, what's
inspiring me, what's making methink, what's making me tick
(02:26):
right now, the more I couldn'tshake the feeling of I really
have to do this one justice,though it was almost like this
dream that a younger me had thatI had never saw all the way
through, and I was like before II've got to finish this, like
I've got to just put this outthere.
And you know, do you know themovie Some Dog Millionaire?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
No, oh, yes.
No, that was a long time ago.
I watched it once.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
It's, you know, and kind of the premise of the movie
is.
You know, the guy you know winsthe game show, through all of
these kind of like almostdiscordant you know life
experiences that he had, thateach gave him an answer.
And I swear I was having thiskind of slumped moment, you know
, putting together this book,where I was like you know I
couldn't have written this oneday sooner than I did, because I
(03:13):
was living out the answers tothe questions I was asking
without even knowing that I was.
And it was really kind ofemotional for me when I look
back at it or, you know, parsethrough it from reading it for
something, because I'm like youknow, I remember the moment
where that clarity came to me orI remember that lesson, how
hard it was at that time.
But for it to all come togetherand like, like in this way is
(03:35):
just, it's a really, reallymeaningful book to me.
I mean, they're all meaningfulin different ways, but this
one's like a little extra alittle extra special.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I think we need to put together like the entire
library as like a box set forpeople for their lives.
Okay, I would love done Pleasedo that, please do that.
When I read your writings I'mlike what has this woman gone
through?
You are so young and it justseems like you're so wise.
Like how, what are the sort ofthings that you've been through
(04:02):
to get you to this?
Point now Like who are you beenthrough to get?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
you to this point now , like, who are you?
First of all, I love you.
Second of all, you know thereare so many things that I've
been through in my life that Ithink you know I could talk to
about anyone that would say youknow, same right Kind of normal
things, right that I think thatat times I just maybe took
harder than other people did.
And then there's been someabnormal stuff too that I think
(04:27):
is not as common but wasdefinitely par for my story in
life.
But it was not any one of thoseexperiences that broke this
open.
It was the culmination of them,and what it showed me is that
every single one of us has anaccess point inside of us and
(04:48):
you have it and all of myreaders have it.
Everyone in my life that I'mclose to and connected to has it
.
And I know that you do, becausewhen you read what I'm writing
from that place, it makes senseto you, it resonates to you.
That's that same active partinside of you connecting to
where I'm accessing it inside ofme, and the.
(05:12):
You know, one of the craziestthings about this whole journey
has been, you know, you kind ofstart out at the beginning.
I'm kind of and I don't meanthis in a bad way at all, but
I'm not like special.
I really don't mean it that way, though, but thank you, but I
really, you know, when I wasyounger, I just was so
passionate about writing and Iwas really, you know, going
through some really tough mentalhealth stuff and really wanted
(05:34):
to heal, really wanted to changemy life.
But you know, when I was kindof starting by the way, I should
just add in here my life planwas to be a news writer or a
journalist, and I thought, youknow, I'm going to use writing
in this way, and I think a bigthing that held me back was just
kind of like, I mean, right, sowhen I had the first idea for
this book, I was like, I mean, Iwish this book existed, but
(05:55):
like someone like me doesn'twrite books, you know, like
someone else should do it, andwhat I have discovered time and
time again is that every time Istumble on something that I
think is the weakness or thedetriment or the problem, every
single time it is the gift, andwhat I found over all these
years is that I don't have suchan extraordinary story or life
(06:15):
other than doing this writing,but I truly believe in my heart
and soul that that is what makesit resonate with so many other
people, and it's not to say thateveryone is truly remarkable in
their own way.
I don't mean it like that.
I makes it resonate with somany other people and it's not
to say that, you know, everyoneis truly remarkable in their own
way.
You know, I don't, I don't meanit like that.
I think it's just that you know, I think any one of my readers
and I really feel this in myheart and I hope they feel this
(06:36):
way too we could sit down and befriends.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Like like it would just friend, I really do your
books.
I'm like this is my best friend.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Well, first of all, thank you, and that's what I
want you to feel, but also whatI feel like you're able to feel,
because I try to come at thingsand really from the only place
I can come out them, come atthem, excuse me, which is just.
You know, I'm seriously just aperson just trying to figure out
my life.
Yeah, like literally everyoneelse, like in all the ways you
(07:06):
are and everyone around me istoo.
But I will also add, I'verambled for a long time.
Cut me off whenever you want,but when I was first starting to
write, I would use first personwork, so I would storytell more
, and I found that people likedit but not really.
And there was this big momentwhere I realized could I have
(07:26):
the courage and surrender theego, to take myself out and to
create a container where otherpeople could put themselves in?
And that is when the wholething really took off for me.
And so you know, what I wastalking about at the beginning
was I was kind of thinking aheadto you know what could be next,
and I've really had a memoir.
I've wanted to write about oneparticular experience in my life
that you know, every time Italked to even friends about it.
(07:48):
They're like I know you don'twant to, but you really should
make a book out of that.
You know I don't write in thatstyle.
I don't, I don't.
I have to learn how to writedialogue Like.
It's a big learning curve forme, but you know I I look
forward or am hoping to lookforward to, you know, share more
of the you know kind ofpersonal one-on-one.
You know stories of like thingsthat have happened or like when
we hear that story.
(08:09):
Oh, I've got a few, but thisone's like a really specific one
unfortunately, I'm really wildtoo.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
We should talk, we should we should hang out just
I'll tell you so you were, butgoing back to what you're saying
of that, you didn't evenrealize that you were living
through chapters of this book,and I think a lot of listeners
right now are going throughimpatient time of their life
Like they want to happen rightnow.
(08:35):
But you're you are a great, youknow reminder that the universe
has better timing than we do,and sometimes you have to wait.
Yes, just yesterday I was ableto release the trailer for my
new show.
That took 10 years to create 10years, and there were so many
times that I cried over it nothappening.
But if it would have happenedanytime before now, it wouldn't
(08:57):
have been right.
And so if somebody is listeningto this and they feel a little
bit stuck, what advice would yougive to someone where, if
they're in a moment wheresomething's not clicking and
they're doing all the rightthing but things aren't coming
together when you felt like that, how do you shift back into
trusting the universe?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I still deal with this basically every day of my
life I'm not even kidding youand every single time I have to
remind myself what I ultimatelyknow is true, which is that the
one variable in life that we notonly don't control, but
oftentimes can't see with fullclarity, is not just the timing
but the purpose for the timing,and it is so much bigger and so
(09:36):
much more interwoven than youcan imagine.
And that's where you know, Ithink, that co creation starts
to come in where you surrender.
So the thing I always say isyou're going to tell life what,
but life is going to tell youhow, so you know.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So when you say but life is going to tell you how
that is.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right, yeah, but if you don't listen to the how,
you're not going to get to thewhat.
So?
So I mean, I come across this,I mean seriously, every day,
sabrina.
It's like I'm telling life Iwant soulmate love, okay, life's
saying not with them, andthat's the holdup, right.
So it's like, well, I'm tryingto tell life, this is what I
(10:13):
want, and it's like, but thenyou're arguing with life and
life is trying to show you, youknow, you're trying to tell life
, well, I want to build abusiness, I don't know whatever
it is, and then life is saying,okay, well, not selling that,
and it's this.
You know, again, I'm talkingabout this kind of ego surrender
that I I even really wentthrough in my own career of my
willing to let go, my willing tosurrender that you know to, to
step into the bigger picture,and it's really amazing where
life will carry you.
(10:33):
You know when you do that.
But the thing about you knowthe purpose of this moment is
when things are either notcoming like the way you thought,
or as quickly as you thought,or in the timing you thought, or
as quickly as you thought, orin the timing you think they're
supposed to be happening.
What you don't know is thatthere is something in this
literal exact moment that youare learning, growing from
growing into becoming through,that you don't recognize.
(10:55):
And in a year from now, fiveyears from now, you will look
back and be like, oh my God, Iget it, I get it, I see it, I
see it, but it's true, andthere's, there's, there's a,
there's a purpose beyond justyou know.
Oh, it'll come one day.
You know, have patience.
It's like there's probablysomething, literally in this
exact experience, that you needto become the person that can
(11:17):
handle what it is you are askingfor.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
There's something right here now.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
When you're in it, when you're in it, you're like
this sucks, I don't want.
I've been in pretty like badsituations, whether it's a
relationship or a career, andyou just want it to shift.
But sometimes it's like Istarted realizing, it's like
this is happening for me andlearning that there is a lesson
in the struggles.
And you said that life willbreak your heart if it means
(11:45):
saving your soul which, by theway, what a line?
Can you talk more about that?
Because I think I've beenthrough a lot of heartbreak and,
looking back now I realizedthat it did get me to the point
where I am now.
But it sucks when you're in it.
No-transcript, I thought I wasnever going to get over it.
(12:36):
That's just going to.
This is going to be.
Daughter was in the back of thecar I went.
I went wait, that's amazing, Ididn't just make that up and I'm
like don't forget it.
No, it doesn't matter, but butwhen you're in it, you actually
think it will last forever andit doesn't, that's exactly right
(12:58):
and it doesn't know.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Also, you know, through that processing like,
there's kind of sometimes areason you can't see a step
ahead.
The reason is for you to bewith this discomfort right now,
because I know it is socounterintuitive and you're like
WCF is this?
This is insane.
But there is somethinghappening.
Through this transit, NapoleonHill, every adversity, every
heartache carries with it theseed of an equal or greater
(13:23):
benefit.
But I think what's mostimportant about remembering that
is it's a seed, okay.
So what has to happen to a seed?
It has to be buried, it has tosprout, it has to be nurtured.
It's not a guarantee.
You know what I mean when peoplesay, like you know, well,
everything happens for a reason.
It's like well, you can make,you can decide, you are going to
find the meaning for this, youcan choose that.
(13:44):
It's not always pretty rarelyactually it's going to just come
to you, but so many times in mylife I have chosen to no.
This is not the valley, this ismy pivot point.
I've lost this.
I don't have that.
You know what?
What is the silver lining here?
When I don't have this, what isthe equal but opposite, but
(14:07):
likewise present reality, what'savailable to me in this moment.
What advantages do I have thatother people don't?
I don't have a child, and Ihave had a long journey with
this, but for other people whodo as well, it's like that can
become this eclipsing thing,Like I'm so in lack, I'm so
(14:27):
without, I'm so far behind, andit's like pause, what can you do
right now that you couldn't dootherwise?
If that was your reality, youmust move in that direction,
because that's how life istrying to move you down the
river.
You know what I mean.
And again, it's thatsurrendering of you know what I
think I want, what I think Ineed, and into the greater
(14:48):
wholeness and truth at thismoment.
And the other thing that Iremind myself of every 24 hours
and everyone I love, I remindthem too which is nobody has
everything.
I'm just kidding, she mightactually, she might actually,
some people might no, but for us, for us normies, I love that
(15:08):
for the rest of us nobody haseverything and so, but everybody
has something and you need tofocus on your something.
Yeah, because you're going tospend the rest of your life
focusing on the one thing youdon't have, or the many things
you don't have, and you're goingto miss your something, and
then all these years are goingto pass.
You're going to miss yoursomething and then all these
years are going to pass.
You're going to look back andyou're going to be like but I
did have, I had one true friend,but I did have that one work
(15:32):
thing that came through, but Ihad a roof over my head and a
bed to sleep in.
If that's all it is, that is asomething you know.
It's, it's, it's all of us.
We know.
We go through the years.
It's this constant lack, lack,lack, lack, lack.
And you look back and you'relike, wow, how much I actually
had and didn't even appreciate.
And I think gratitude makesthings grow.
(15:52):
I really do.
I think your attention makesthings grow when you bring your
attention onto.
This is everything that I dohave, and even in the spaces of
okay.
Well, these are things I don'thave right now, but these are
the opportunities that could beavailable, because I don't have
them.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yes, You're absolutely right.
I I unfortunately I had to.
I lost my dog last year, at theend of last year and so sorry.
It was the worst pain I've ever, literally the worst pain.
And when I had to put her down,a friend of mine called and he
said now start doing the thingsyou couldn't do when she was
(16:27):
alive, like traveling.
And I thought that was like howdare he say that.
But it is the celebrating, thelove that I had with her, but
then also the gratitude of thenext chapter of my life and what
that looks like.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
And it's hard again when you're in the pain, but
it's so true what you're sayingand can I add something onto
that too, Because this hasworked for me so many times and
I've given this to friends andit's worked for them too trying
to get over a breakup or a lossof some kind, the only thing
that would ever truly start toget me over it is making a list
I mean, I mean a literal one,not like a, not metaphorically,
(16:59):
I mean literally writing it downof reasons You're kind of
secretly glad it's over.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Oh God, I still couldn't do that with my dog.
The breakups, no, no, no, notthe pup All day long.
I'll write it down.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Not the pup, but I just mean like you know, when
it's like it's like a job falls,I mean like a job or a
boyfriend or we know whateverthat kind of stuff.
Yes, not the puppy, but but butit's like with with that kind
of stuff, it's like when youstart to seek those silver
linings, that peacefulness findsyou where it's like, okay,
(17:33):
there is a perspective shifthere.
But I also do think there'slike I don't think being healed
and healthy is just being calmall the time.
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I think it's having that Seriously, I'm going to
actually just put that clip andsend it to my mother.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I really think that, to me, healed is I'm able to
move through my spectrum offeelings without getting caught
in one or the other.
So it's like when it's time togrieve, you grieve.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like you've experienced.
Your body needs to.
You need to take time, you needto go through these waves.
There is nothing wrong with youbecause that's happening.
You're actually probably anormal, healthy, adaptive person
(18:09):
responding to a set ofcircumstances.
That's incredibly difficult,but because life is what it is,
not only do we not know what itwill present us or give, we
don't know if it'll get betteror worse, and so we have to
expand our resilience and ourown bandwidth, which is, you
know, I'm going to be able tomeet this moment.
I'm going to work on me.
I'm going to work on this.
(18:30):
You know, I'm going to groundmyself more.
And whatever it is, you know my.
I once read that anxiety is acrisis of your trust in yourself
, and yeah, and, and, and.
A place where you can start torepair, that is if you sit down
with what you have anxiety aboutand you say okay, where are the
breaks in my trust with myself?
Where am I not trusting myself?
(18:51):
Where am I not showing up formyself, or where do I not trust
myself to show up?
And it's not that you have tofix it overnight, but even just
to become aware of I'm feelingstressed because I don't trust
myself to like stay on top ofthis whatever it is, and I think
that that can really like startsome real inner repair too.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
What are your?
I mean knowing that you getinto ruts.
What are your like habits,daily habits that you do other
than gratitude?
Or even if you get a rut, like,how do you, how do you get out
of it?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
personally, the first thing is to let myself feel
like shit.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
What does that look like for you, cause I you look
so put together right now, Ican't imagine this.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Okay, well, also.
I don't know who can show ofyourself tomorrow morning.
Yes, like well, I actually will, because this is I am just
fresh off of like a like amorning show.
So this is like a professionalbeat on my face, okay, so my
hair looks so frizzy.
It's not usually this nice, butI, by the way I did this on, I
(19:50):
was like, oh, I'm already goingto be ready to do all the
podcasts now like.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Like you wake up in the morning, you don't feel good
.
What do you do?
Like what's your personal, likehabit or self-care practice?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I try to just do the bare minimum and I know this
sounds kind of crazy, but that'smy honest truth.
It's like if I need comfortableclothes, like I'll wear
comfortable clothes.
Like if I need to cook myselfsome comfort foods, like I will
do that.
If I need to go outside listento music, whatever it is, I just
try to follow what I need inthat moment and not try to solve
all of my problems like in anhour, which is like so much my
(20:23):
tendency.
And every time I just allowmyself kind of to be human.
I think we have this likeunrealistic expectation of
ourselves where it's like I needto be on, I need to be together
, I've got to have it alltogether at all times and it's
just like.
But the nature of being human,for every single one of us, is
(20:46):
these ebbs and flows, and everysingle time I'm in a rut and get
out of it, it kind of happens.
Naturally.
I mean it Like if I just keeplike moving along, like it will
like pass, but every time itdoes something is stronger,
better, clearer than it wasprior, and every single time I'm
able to look back on who I wasbefore that and after and I'm
like, oh wow, that was somegrowth that was happening, that
was some releasing that washappening, even if I didn't know
(21:08):
it at the time, Because at thetime you're just like I'm
miserable on this side.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
In order to prepare for you to be on the podcast, I
was listening to old or like tointerviews that you've been on
and talks that you've done, andyou said something that it was
actually made me laugh, becauseyou were talking about something
that you had done to shift yourlife.
You were discussing the pivotyear.
Another amazing book book mustget it.
If anyone is listening, justactually get all of her books.
(21:35):
But you said that one of themost powerful things you did was
to put your phone on do notdisturb.
Do you remember saying this?
Yeah, baby, and I was listening.
I'm like, oh my gosh, how manytimes I'm interrupted in a day
for phone calls and stuff thatgets me off track.
And that is the smallest,easiest thing anybody can
implement in their life.
Can you talk about how you'vecreated boundaries in your life
(21:57):
and how that has changed yourlife for the better?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Oh, I mean, you know my life has also moved into a
place where it's like necessaryat this point you know what I
mean Like I can't, like I Iwouldn't do anything else but
like respond to other people ifI didn't have that boundary.
And it's like I try to make asmuch time for that as I can, but
also I can't let it like run meto the ground.
Do you know what I mean?
Like I have to eventually say,okay, I need to tap out, but I
(22:21):
put my phones on to not disturbright now.
Like it is, but it is every dayand I to me.
I think that's also just a wayof communicating to other people
.
If I'm not respondingimmediately, it's not personal,
like I'm just my focus iselsewhere.
Do you know what I mean?
Because I think that's whatwould give me anxiety about not
being like.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
So wait, do you, let's say, somebody calls, do
you have like an automaticresponse like busy call you
later, or just no answer?
Speaker 2 (22:49):
No, it depends on who it is and what it's for.
But if it's someone I need tojust like get back to, I will
just kind of like be honest withthem If it's not undue, no
stirper.
They just like, hey, what aboutthis?
And I'm like, oh, hey, like I'mdoing this today, but can I
call you on this day?
And I'll just be like honest.
Or I'm like, oh, I'm just likehaving a, like I'm taking off
(23:12):
today, can I like do this later?
And everyone's like, oh, my gosh, yeah, but you're not
disappointing them.
You're actually like makingthem happy.
Because they're like, oh,perfect, talk to you tomorrow.
Yeah, and it really can be thateasy actually, because I know
that when I'm on the receivingend of that, if I'm like, oh,
hey, what about this?
And they're like, oh, Iappreciate, hey, at dinner I'll
(23:47):
talk to you tomorrow, I'm like,oh, like, for most of time did
not well, a few things didn'thave like all of the world's
information accessible, like inthe palm of their life and many
people they don't even know, allat once, I think it does
something psychologically that Idon't know.
That is always so healthy forus to be honest with you, but I
think also that being on demandthing.
Do you know what I mean whenpeople can just command your
(24:13):
attention at any time?
Do you remember the days oflike?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
a labor all of a sudden.
We used to have work hours ofnine to five.
Now work hours are 24 seven.
That and the comparison factorthat we're having of media that
we should know it's.
It does no matter how strongyou are.
I think that everyone suffersfrom I'm not doing enough, I'm
not there enough.
And if somebody is listening tothis and feels like they're
(24:39):
kind of in a rut and they're not, they didn't make it yet or
they want to change.
What would you say to somebodythat you know maybe they want to
shift their life but can't?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
I think the first place we all have to start is by
identifying what's our actualwant for fulfillment versus what
do we think is going to fill ina picture that would kind of
like generate a validation fromother people.
I know it sounds probablysimple, but I think that the
more that we like something, theless we need other people to
Wait, this is the quote.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Okay, this is your quote.
The more you like something,the less you need other people
to, and the more wait, and thenthe less you need people to like
something, the more they will,the more they do.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
That's a good quote.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's so good.
First of all, thank you.
Second, any time in my life Iwas like the most hung up on,
like I'm behind.
I don't compare, you know, I doother.
What do other people think ofit?
Every single time it was insome way about some part of my
life or in some experience whereI kind of felt empty with it.
It wasn't actually fulfillingme, Like I didn't feel good,
Like I wasn't having any kind ofgood experience with it, and so
(25:47):
then I would kind of hyperfixate on like well, like kind
of like, do other people knowthis isn't working?
And the answer is mixed.
It's like sometimes, sometimesvery intuitive friends are like
yeah, I can tell something's up,or I think a lot of the world
doesn't really think about Idon't think other people think
about us the way that we thinkthey do.
To be honest with you, Right,Like I think that they're
Nobody's talking about me rightnow.
(26:08):
No, like they're doing their ownlife.
They're like busy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, Like they have their ownstuff going on.
But I think we all think thatwe all feel like we're under
this microscope and it's likeanxiety inducing, of like am I?
Speaker 1 (26:18):
enough, like it's not an ego thing.
I think we think that peopleare having like husband and
wives.
Friends of ours are like in thecoffee in the morning and be
like honey.
Let's talk about Sabrina.
It's like nobody's doing that.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Like nobody's doing that, right, but we think that
they are somehow which is whatkeeps us up at night, being like
, oh God, you know what I mean.
And I think that also, peoplehave not only grace, but genuine
appreciation for just beinghuman.
You know what I mean.
I have so many friends in mylife.
It's like I'm going through itright now.
(26:50):
I'm like, okay, you know what,We'll go through it together.
Like it's okay.
You know what I mean.
Like it's okay.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Okay, two last things .
So, obviously, the life that'swaiting is your new book.
Get it.
Everyone who's listening get it.
If you are listening right now,just while you're listening, if
you're listening on your phone,go and follow her on Instagram,
because it is one of the bestaccounts I follow, always
forwarding your memes or yourpoems and your writings.
But if, what would you?
(27:16):
What would you say?
Is your the first book of yoursthat you would recommend to a
new reader?
It's somebody who hasn't everread one of your books before
101 essays.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
That will change the way you think it's kind of like.
It's kind of like the starterpack.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
It's kind of like put together an ultimate box set.
Okay, give me, like, just giveme the set as a gift, I'll be
your first customer.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
You're my first customer.
Thank you, maybe my only, but Ihope there's a hug to it for
you though.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
No, seriously, call it whatever you want, but just
call it like the ultimate lifebook set, because it's the
Mountain Is.
You is the first book that Igot of yours and it just
introduced me to you, but I wasgoing through it at the time.
And since then I just I can't.
I mean, I'm telling you I amyour biggest fan.
I'm going to actually start aFacebook fan page and I'll be
the president.
I seriously love you.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
And look at, we're like wearing the same thing,
we're like match.
This is not planned.
This is not planned.
This is just kindred spiritshit.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I seriously adore you Spirit shit.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I don't know what that is Spirit shit.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, that's it, Spirit shit.
Anyone listening in the shownotes, I will have the
information on the book, all ofthe books.
Instagram, the whole nine howyou can get in touch.
You're the best, Thank you.
Thank you so much for being onyou.
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