February 16, 2015 • 31 mins
Sasha interviews Nathan, and they discuss the experience of living with DID and someone who has it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Over
about Dissociative IdentityDisorder. If you are new to the
podcast, we recommend startingat the beginning episodes and
listen in order to hear ourstory and what we have learned
through this endeavor. Currentepisodes may be more applicable
to longtime listeners and arelikely to contain more advanced
(00:32):
topics, emotional or othertriggering content, and or
reference earlier episodes thatprovide more context to what we
are currently learning andexperiencing. As always, please
care for yourself during andafter listening to the podcast.
Thank you.
(00:55):
Hi guys, it's Sasha and I have athousand things to tell you. I
can't wait. I don't even knowwhere to start. The other big
news is that we are officiallysigned up and registered and
have a flight and the hotel andeverything. We are officially
going to the Infinite Mindconference, the Healing Together
(01:16):
conference on DID.
Super excited. I know some otherfriends who are going. I want to
learn more. I want to figuresome of this out and I just am
excited to connect with othersand see what there is to learn
and see if it helps us any. Butalso we just really like
airplane trips.
So we can take one legit withoutactually running away or
(01:40):
disappearing, right? So nofuging. We have a ticket.
Everyone knows where we'regoing. We're on the same page.
The husband knows where we'regoing. It's all going to be
okay. We've also contacted someof the people that will be
speaking there as well as someother experts and we'll be
sharing those interviews incoming weeks. It's gonna be
(02:03):
great you guys. We're reallylearning a lot and word is
getting out and so more peopleare learning together and I'm so
excited.
And then yes, if you want to goto the conference too and
haven't heard about it, it's inFebruary, it's in Florida, and
you can find a link to moreinformation about the conference
on our website on the blog. Soyes, that's the other big news.
(02:27):
Our website is officially up andrunning. As I said, it is
www.systemspeak.org. So that'ssuper exciting.
We also have lots of thingsplanned for the podcast,
including upcoming guestspeakers, a discussion with
another survivor about a recentarticle that was about the
(02:49):
difference between dissociationand psychosis. I don't really
understand all that, but I knowthere was a strong response in
the community, and so anothersurvivor and I are going to talk
about on an upcoming podcast.Okay. So we've taken a little
break after all the boringannouncements, which I didn't
even get to make all by myself.So I don't know how you can hear
(03:10):
that or see that, but I'm alittle more myself now and a
little more chill.
And we don't talk about boringthings. I have a surprise,
actually. Guess what is thesurprise? It's the husband. We
are gonna interview him, like,right now.
I can't even do this. I am herewith the husband. Say hi.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
And we're gonna talk about DID because it's what we
do.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Sounds good.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
And what do you know about DID? I started really,
really broad.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Sorry. What do you know about DID?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
My understanding is that DID happens in response to
serious trauma that occursduring early childhood while the
personality is being developedand as a way of protecting
itself different aspects of thepersonality are partitioned off
into different areas, creatingwhat are essentially different
identities or personalities thatmay or may not be aware of each
(04:13):
other.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Okay. Mic drop. I feel like the podcast has now
been done. It is completed.There is nothing else for us to
teach the world.
I don't I don't even have aresponse to that. Also, I think
you are smarter than me would beone difference. Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You know what just occurred to
Speaker 1 (04:37):
me? What?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Maybe this is a terrible metaphor. It's like a
blister.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Oh my goodness. He loves metaphors. A blister.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
So when your finger gets burned Ow. To protect
itself, it forms that littlepouch of liquid. Oh. Like, it's
it's created by your body tosave itself, but it's, like,
partitioned off from the rest ofit. So it's not really a
different you, and yet and yetit's this individual little
(05:11):
cell.
Right?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's both amazing and disgusting.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I'm sorry. It was it seemed better in my head.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
No. I okay. I have to think about it. So here's the
thing about him. I don't knowhow he dates everybody else, but
let me tell you, when he startstalking to me every time, like,
my mind is blown and I can'tfigure out even what he just
said.
I tell him so many times, couldyou just text that to me so I
(05:41):
can look at it again? BecauseI'm gonna have to process that.
My brain can't keep up with whathe is figuring out. I mean, it's
helpful. It's good.
I just can't figure it out.Okay. So, whew. Moving on,
guess, tell me tell your storyof how you found out about the
(06:04):
DID. And then, as a follow-upquestion, did that make sense to
you or what was that likelearning about our DID?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Well, we were already married. How long had we been
married when?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I think five or six years. I'm not sure. That's a
time question.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
So that's unfair.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
It was less than six. It was four or five. And my wife
was going to therapy, and everyonce in a while she'd say
something like
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Because of the dead parents. Uh-huh. So, like, let
me clarify. Someone pointed outsomething. There's not a
discrepancy in the dead parents.
They both had cancer. One ofthem died from cancer and the
other one died from a caraccident before they died from
cancer.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Does that make sense? Okay. Sorry to interrupt. Go
ahead. So that's why we weregoing to therapy.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
So every once in a while she would drop something
like, you know I'm dissociative,right? And I'd be like, okay,
what does that mean? She'd belike, well, you know how I
ordered hamburgers with onionsthe other day, and I don't like
hamburgers with onions usually?I was like, okay. That's weird.
(07:23):
Alright. And then finally, shesent me a video about DID. And I
was like, okay. I don't think Iapplied it yet. And and then she
finally explained this is what Ihad.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
She sent that without explaining it? She just sent a
random video?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I think so. That's
Speaker 1 (07:49):
awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
And then it was explained to me that that you
have DID, and I felt kind ofsilly for not having noticed. So
yeah. So it was explained to methat that she has DID.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
By the therapist?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
No. By you initially or one of But
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I mean then also we met with the therapist.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yes. After that, we went to the the therapist to to
help me understand what wasgoing on and to to be able to
talk about it in a safe place. Ithink I think you were probably
really anxious about opening upto me about it because I know
(08:37):
you've had bad experiences inthe past talking about it. But
I've never had any problem withit.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Which is so weird.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I know. It seems like it should have been harder or
stranger or something, but it'snever bothered me at all.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Because it made sense. Yeah. Why did it make so
much sense?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Because people are complex. This is this is how I
think of it. Maybe this is nothow a therapist would explain it
or anything. When I think aboutmyself, there's a part of me
that loves being a dad, andthere's part of me that hates
being a dad. And there's part ofme that's really outgoing and
part of me that's really shy.
Like, I have all thesecontradictions within me,
(09:26):
different parts of myself. Andso DID to me sounds like just
partitioning off different partsof yourself. Like, not not
voluntarily, but it sounds likea whole person with with walls
inside. That doesn't make it anyless of a person. And so if I
(09:51):
meet an altar who's more playfulor more childlike or more
serious or more depressed orlouder or quieter or angrier or
happier.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Or awesomer.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Or awesomer. They're just to me, those are just parts
of a person.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Do you know when different people are out or
fronting, or can you tell, orhow do you tell or know?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I will admit I am not super great at it. I have
difficulty recognizing people'sfaces just out in the wild. It's
it's just a flight of Sorry.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Can you tell the difference between us, or how do
you tell the difference betweenus? Or does that matter or no
impact you at all?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
When I really I really focus on it, I can tell
the difference. I I feel like Ishould be more sensitive to it.
I know there are other peoplewho can tell right away. But as
I said, I just think of all ofyou as you. But if and whenever
I specifically talk to one ofyou by name, it always seems to
(11:08):
embarrass you or make you feeluncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
There's been such a long time of having to
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Hide.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah. Yeah. And not just waiting for a diagnosis for
her to know about that orwhatever, but because we had
therapists in the past that werenot good in different incidents
that happened where we wereoverly exposed. So now we are
still working through somelayers of needing to protect
(11:40):
ourselves a bit, I guess.Building safety maybe.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah. So there's a number of factors that, you
know, made me not noticenecessarily for a long time that
there were different alterscoming out, and that maybe keep
(12:08):
me from focusing on that now.Like, I I don't usually worry
about which one of you it is,although I know I do interact
with some of you differentlythan others. So, yeah, I think
when I'm focusing on it, I cantell, but I I usually don't
worry about it very much.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Well, and also, like, you can't tell people apart
anyway. Like, do you have thatfacial thing where you can't
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah. I'm, like, facially illiterate. I have a
very hard time telling people'sfaces apart.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
And you don't remember them when you met them.
I don't mean us. I mean, like,even when we're just out in
public.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Oh, yeah. People I've had, like, one on one meetings
with more than one time. Willsee in another context and have
no idea who they are. I know.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
But different but that's a facial recognition
thing. It's different thandissociative because that's one
thing we joke about. Like, thathappens to me too. But it's
because I don't remember it. Youjust don't remember the name
that goes with the face.
But when you talk to them andhave the context, you remember
talking to them. You just don'tremember their face and what
that connects to. Yeah. There'sgotta be a word that. Somebody
(13:15):
will know and will tell us.
So, like, what about the outsidekids, like, parenting? Is that
scary for you that we're in thehouse with your children?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
No. Not even slightly.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
What is that like having different ones of us
interact with the children?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Well, I think it's it's exactly like what I was
saying before about how I thinkabout me. There are times where
I'm really playful with thechildren and times I'm really
stern with the children andtimes I think I'm doing a great
job and times I think I'm doinga terrible job. The difference
is that all of those are me, andeach one of those is someone
(13:56):
different for you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Anything else?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
What what other questions do you have for me?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Do you do different things with different people?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Not intentionally. Think
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Maybe I guess my question is do you feel like we
adapt to you or you adapt to us?Mix?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I think it's a mix. I mean, if if one of you who is
very serious and, like, taskoriented is out, they're gonna
be much less open to watching asilly movie.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But Yeah. She doesn't watch movies
Speaker 2 (14:43):
at If the plan is to watch a silly movie, then one of
you that is really into thatkind of thing might come out
then. Also, it's funny when wewatch like a a Star Wars movie
or something, you'll come outsaying, I think I'm just too
dumb to understand movies likethat. When I think what it is is
(15:03):
that there's like multiplealters jostling for attention to
watch the movie. And so, really,you haven't seen the whole
thing.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Me and John fighting for snacks. Yeah. Yep. Yep. It's
true.
And I think that's a big dealfor us. It has not always been
the case, like, in the past. Butwith you and with where we are,
like, we gel together so well.It's really kind of a miracle
for, like, lack of a betterword. But I think everyone's
(15:35):
relationship with you is veryunique.
And so
Speaker 2 (15:40):
And I I very intentionally love all of you,
like, on purpose.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Mhmm.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Early on, when I was first learning about it, I sent
emails to different altars
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
To make sure that they knew that I knew they were
there and that I cared aboutthem. There are times that some
of you like to make fun of otherones of you.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's me.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
And I never ever play along because that would feel
like cheating.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You bust me every time.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Yeah. No.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I I'm, like, in so much trouble.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I love all of you. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Am I the only one who gets in trouble? It's true.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
You were not the only one who gets in trouble, but you
were the only one who makes funof the other one.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I know you say the only one who makes trouble.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
No. But I love all of you. I do.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Everyone's relationship is different,
though. So there's no like, wedon't love you the same. So I
don't mean by degrees or amount,but I mean we enjoy different
aspects of our relationship isdifferent with everybody. And I
think part of the difference toois when you're saying, like, you
(16:55):
love us and love all of us, lovefor you isn't just a word.
Right.
Love for you means service.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
It's a willingness to serve.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
A willingness to serve. And so like you do stuff
very specific and very active.It's an active love. Like, love
in a verb. You're not justsaying, oh, I love you or I want
attention from you or I wantlike, it's not anything.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Do feel the feeling of love for you, but because I
feel that, I want to make youhappy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Right. And so you're super attentive and you do these
things that are about showingyour love in different ways.
It's not like a classic marriagethat's just terrible and
unsupportive and Both people arelonely and it's awful. Like,
we're laughing, but I know that.That because before when we were
(17:47):
married, like, I was inrelationships where, like, it
was terrible and I cried everynight or whatever.
Like, it was just awful. And soto have found you is such a big
deal. Like, don't make me cry.I'm not gonna be a big old sap.
But but what I'm saying is whatone of the things that we've had
to learn is that when you saythat, it means something
(18:10):
different than when other peoplehave said that in the past.
Because even that could just beeither a really big trigger or
not necessarily something tobelieve or have much faith in,
but because there's such, like,what's the word, congruence
between your words and yourbehavior, I think it increases
(18:33):
safety for us a lot, like agreat deal.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Good.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
So that we are able to connect with you. More of us
can connect with you more anddifferently than any experience
we've had in the past. Andthat's part of what makes it
unique.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Well, I'm glad I can offer that.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And you're also respectful for when it's hard.
Like, you give us time and spacewhen we need to do our
journaling or when we just needto be alone or when there's a
stupid bear on the bed or, like,could you please go buy a
backpack this bear could fit inbecause I'm not taking it in
public? Yeah. Like, you're soparticipatory.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Well, I am also very grateful that you are somebody
who expresses your needsclearly. I don't have to guess
about what you need, and Ireally appreciate that. So I
know how to meet your needs. Iknow when I need to just leave
you alone, and I never take itpersonally. I know when you need
(19:37):
time to do something.
I know when there's an altar outwho has a particular task they
need to do, and I and I can'tdisrupt them. I don't take that.
I mean, I don't why would I takethat personally? It's that
person doing their
Speaker 1 (19:51):
job. It's amazing, though. I think part of why we
can be so high functioning andwork together so well is because
I mean, I know that's on us.Like, I don't mean that in a
codependent way, but I mean partof what really helps and is
supportive is because of whatyou just said. And a lot of what
(20:15):
we are able to do is because ourrelationship is so strong and
because you do respect not justour boundaries, but also our
freedom of expression and thedifferent ways that we have
different needs and differentthings we have to accomplish.
And, like, you've never limitedthat or pressured us to be
(20:39):
something different or to dosomething differently and just
to let us be ourselves. And thatbrings just right there. Just
that peace alone brings so muchhealing and collaboration in and
of itself as well as, like, thestrength and freedom to be able
to improve other things andlearn other ways. Does that make
(21:04):
sense at all? Yeah.
I didn't know this was gonnaturn into a love fest. Okay. So
we had our love fest. That wasfantastic. But okay.
Maybe I should edit that becauseit's gonna sound different than
what I said.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Naughty.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
What I mean is, like, okay, so those are some of the
good things or how we'venormalized it for ourselves,
like where we're at on thosethings. Tell me what is hard
difficult or challenging orwhatever word you wanna use,
politically correct orotherwise, about DID itself or
about living with someone withDID or about being married to
(21:48):
someone with DID or beingmarried to me. Safe zone. It's
all good.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I feel like I'm not gonna be very helpful here
because, honestly, I don't haveany hard things about being
married to you.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Well, I mean so what's hard about DID? Like
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I think all of the hard parts of DID are the things
that you experience. I have notexperienced any hard parts of
DID.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
What what do you mean the hard parts I've experienced?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Well, because some of you are still coming to terms
with the fact you have DID. Andsome of you are really stressed
out about exploring some of thetrauma that made it happen in
the first place. Oh. And I knowall of you feel really anxious
about interacting with people,and is someone gonna recognize
what's going on? I'm fine.
(22:50):
I don't have any of thoseproblems. Oh
Speaker 1 (22:55):
my goodness. Okay. Tell me what you said last
night. Can you remember it?Because that blew my brains out.
Wait. I said it wrong again.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
My mind?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Blew my mind.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
So you were saying, why is it when I think I'm
writing something funny, otherpeople think it's something
really sad? Something like that?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And I said, part of it is just a dry sense of humor.
And part of it is your specificjob on the team
Speaker 1 (23:33):
is Like me specifically.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You specifically, you're sort of a protective
covering. You have that
Speaker 1 (23:40):
that
Speaker 2 (23:41):
level of joy and playfulness. But it doesn't
necessarily mean that you werenot having sad or scared
feelings. And that when you arewriting something that sometimes
those actual underlying feelingssneak out. So while you think
you are expressing somethingfunny, you are actually
expressing something more thanjust that.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I don't know why I married him, you guys. These are
the therapy bombs he drops.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Was the dregs at the bottom of the marriage barrel.
She's like, well, I guess I'll
Speaker 1 (24:15):
dig in. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
What has been hard about having DID and living with
me?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
That's like a double dog dare.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Mhmm.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
I think mostly honestly, at least from my
perspective, it's fighting fortime. Mhmm. Like, I just wanna
chill with you, but we have reallife things. Like, you have work
and she has work. We have housethings.
Like she always has to do choresor help with their homework or
(24:53):
whatever. And then there'soutside kids to deal with and
there's always inside kids todeal with. And not getting to do
what I want, not getting all themoney I want, like just be on an
allowance like I'm 12. I meanthose are like practical things
they're not I don't feel likeI'm in danger or it's hard that
(25:18):
way. Just real life is hardsometimes having to share so
much.
But also even besides theinternal stuff, we're a big
family anyway. We have lots ofkids. And so it's just it's just
a lot to have to share thatmuch. And
Speaker 2 (25:33):
How has it changed since opening up about DID?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I get to be a lot milder. I get to be a sassier.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And so I feel more free, I guess, but there's still
boundaries on that. And so insome ways, I get to be more
myself, but in other ways, thatmeans I have to learn more
things because I'm makingchoices now, like, just for me,
(26:03):
not just to hide.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Mhmm. So before, you were consciously working to
blend in.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Right. But only a year. But also at the same time,
I feel less alone because therewere times before that I got
myself into messes and couldn'task for help so directly because
it wouldn't have made sense howI got into the mess. Mhmm. And I
don't mean always something bigand dramatic, but I mean, even
(26:33):
like my bandanas for example,like I really like wearing my
bandanas, but it wasn'tconsistent with everything else
all the time.
And so it's hard.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
For the record, I probably would not have noticed
anything if you had wornbandanas.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Well, I'm just trying to think of like a I'm just
trying to think of like aneutral example of this is not
trauma related.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Oh, sure.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And and again, a lot of that was just about me. Like,
I didn't know that I could,like, so easily just do my own
thing. When when we married youand it was like you were good,
like, that freaked me out. Goodfreaked me out. Kind like the
(27:22):
therapist freaks me out.
The same reason. Like she's verychill, but very direct and very
honest and keeps it safe, andthat freaks me out. Even though
it's good, and you do the samething to me. Like, all this
caring and concerning and allthis
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You're just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Right. And so many shoes have dropped.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So many shoes.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
But not yours, and not the therapist, and not our
family. We're okay, and thattrips me out sometimes. So I
guess that's a hard thing too. Ithink and I have to be careful
here, because I'm I'm I am onlyallowed to speak for myself.
Right?
Like, that was one of the dealsof the podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I can't speak for someone else. So I don't wanna
tell her story, but I think oneof the things that really
changed everything, obviously,was when the parents died.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Mhmm.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Because we had worked for so long to not just be safe.
We had worked for so long, notjust to, like, be safe from them
or how to interact safely withthem, But so much energy had
(28:43):
been gone had gone into so muchenergy had gone into protecting
ourselves and dealing with that,that when they were actually
dead, like legit dead,everything kind of fell apart.
And part of it was because ithad been so hard for so long,
and part of it was because wewere safe now, part of it was
(29:07):
like her layers of guilt to beso relieved that they are gone.
And like there's so many so manylayers, but it was so huge and
such a big thing. That's wheneverything fell apart.
But it's also when we chose youback.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
I mean, had already chosen to get you married. I
mean We had already chosen tomarry you. Mhmm. But I mean, I
think that was the moment. I'mthinking specifically after the
car accident when, like, I, me,I drove over to her house
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
And wanted just to run. And, like, I wanted
alcohol, and I wanted to smoke,and I wanted to do everything
that I was working really hardnot to do, but and I wanted to
just disappear. Like, in myhead, like, we could totally
just let the one that runs run,and we could have gotten out of
(30:14):
there. But we didn't, and thatwas the first time we didn't. We
stayed and we didn't wipe outeverything or start over or run
away or disappear.
We stayed and we called you, Icalled you. It was like I choose
you. I need you here right nowbecause this is hard. Yeah. And
you came.
(30:35):
And I think that was really, atleast for me, a turning point.
Not just in my relationship withyou, but, like, in my capacity
to be in a relationship withyou. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
It does.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Also, you make me treats.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I do.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I don't get to eat them.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
You don't. Sure you do.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Sometimes.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
We have we have date nights.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Yeah. But he takes all the food.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Not always and not all of it. But, you know, it's
just funny.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
That is pretty hilarious.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Wow. That went a lot deeper than what I intended.
You're so slippery. This is whyI hate therapy and hate being
married, you guys. Can you thinkof anything else?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Mm-mm.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Oh, say bye.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Thanks for doing that. That was pretty brave.
Thank you for listening. Yoursupport really helps us feel
less alone while we sort throughall of this and learn together.
Over
about Dissociative IdentityDisorder. If you are new to the
podcast, we recommend startingat the beginning episodes and
listen in order to hear ourstory and what we have learned
through this endeavor. Currentepisodes may be more applicable
to longtime listeners and arelikely to contain more advanced
(00:32):
topics, emotional or othertriggering content, and or
reference earlier episodes thatprovide more context to what we
are currently learning andexperiencing. As always, please
care for yourself during andafter listening to the podcast.
Thank you.
(00:55):
Hi guys, it's Sasha and I have athousand things to tell you. I
can't wait. I don't even knowwhere to start. The other big
news is that we are officiallysigned up and registered and
have a flight and the hotel andeverything. We are officially
going to the Infinite Mindconference, the Healing Together
(01:16):
conference on DID.
Super excited. I know some otherfriends who are going. I want to
learn more. I want to figuresome of this out and I just am
excited to connect with othersand see what there is to learn
and see if it helps us any. Butalso we just really like
airplane trips.
So we can take one legit withoutactually running away or
(01:40):
disappearing, right? So nofuging. We have a ticket.
Everyone knows where we'regoing. We're on the same page.
The husband knows where we'regoing. It's all going to be
okay. We've also contacted someof the people that will be
speaking there as well as someother experts and we'll be
sharing those interviews incoming weeks. It's gonna be
(02:03):
great you guys. We're reallylearning a lot and word is
getting out and so more peopleare learning together and I'm so
excited.
And then yes, if you want to goto the conference too and
haven't heard about it, it's inFebruary, it's in Florida, and
you can find a link to moreinformation about the conference
on our website on the blog. Soyes, that's the other big news.
(02:27):
Our website is officially up andrunning. As I said, it is
www.systemspeak.org. So that'ssuper exciting.
We also have lots of thingsplanned for the podcast,
including upcoming guestspeakers, a discussion with
another survivor about a recentarticle that was about the
(02:49):
difference between dissociationand psychosis. I don't really
understand all that, but I knowthere was a strong response in
the community, and so anothersurvivor and I are going to talk
about on an upcoming podcast.Okay. So we've taken a little
break after all the boringannouncements, which I didn't
even get to make all by myself.So I don't know how you can hear
(03:10):
that or see that, but I'm alittle more myself now and a
little more chill.
And we don't talk about boringthings. I have a surprise,
actually. Guess what is thesurprise? It's the husband. We
are gonna interview him, like,right now.
I can't even do this. I am herewith the husband. Say hi.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
And we're gonna talk about DID because it's what we
do.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Sounds good.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
And what do you know about DID? I started really,
really broad.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Sorry. What do you know about DID?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
My understanding is that DID happens in response to
serious trauma that occursduring early childhood while the
personality is being developedand as a way of protecting
itself different aspects of thepersonality are partitioned off
into different areas, creatingwhat are essentially different
identities or personalities thatmay or may not be aware of each
(04:13):
other.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Okay. Mic drop. I feel like the podcast has now
been done. It is completed.There is nothing else for us to
teach the world.
I don't I don't even have aresponse to that. Also, I think
you are smarter than me would beone difference. Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You know what just occurred to
Speaker 1 (04:37):
me? What?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Maybe this is a terrible metaphor. It's like a
blister.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Oh my goodness. He loves metaphors. A blister.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
So when your finger gets burned Ow. To protect
itself, it forms that littlepouch of liquid. Oh. Like, it's
it's created by your body tosave itself, but it's, like,
partitioned off from the rest ofit. So it's not really a
different you, and yet and yetit's this individual little
(05:11):
cell.
Right?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's both amazing and disgusting.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I'm sorry. It was it seemed better in my head.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
No. I okay. I have to think about it. So here's the
thing about him. I don't knowhow he dates everybody else, but
let me tell you, when he startstalking to me every time, like,
my mind is blown and I can'tfigure out even what he just
said.
I tell him so many times, couldyou just text that to me so I
(05:41):
can look at it again? BecauseI'm gonna have to process that.
My brain can't keep up with whathe is figuring out. I mean, it's
helpful. It's good.
I just can't figure it out.Okay. So, whew. Moving on,
guess, tell me tell your storyof how you found out about the
(06:04):
DID. And then, as a follow-upquestion, did that make sense to
you or what was that likelearning about our DID?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Well, we were already married. How long had we been
married when?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I think five or six years. I'm not sure. That's a
time question.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
So that's unfair.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
It was less than six. It was four or five. And my wife
was going to therapy, and everyonce in a while she'd say
something like
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Because of the dead parents. Uh-huh. So, like, let
me clarify. Someone pointed outsomething. There's not a
discrepancy in the dead parents.
They both had cancer. One ofthem died from cancer and the
other one died from a caraccident before they died from
cancer.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Does that make sense? Okay. Sorry to interrupt. Go
ahead. So that's why we weregoing to therapy.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
So every once in a while she would drop something
like, you know I'm dissociative,right? And I'd be like, okay,
what does that mean? She'd belike, well, you know how I
ordered hamburgers with onionsthe other day, and I don't like
hamburgers with onions usually?I was like, okay. That's weird.
(07:23):
Alright. And then finally, shesent me a video about DID. And I
was like, okay. I don't think Iapplied it yet. And and then she
finally explained this is what Ihad.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
She sent that without explaining it? She just sent a
random video?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I think so. That's
Speaker 1 (07:49):
awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
And then it was explained to me that that you
have DID, and I felt kind ofsilly for not having noticed. So
yeah. So it was explained to methat that she has DID.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
By the therapist?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
No. By you initially or one of But
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I mean then also we met with the therapist.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yes. After that, we went to the the therapist to to
help me understand what wasgoing on and to to be able to
talk about it in a safe place. Ithink I think you were probably
really anxious about opening upto me about it because I know
(08:37):
you've had bad experiences inthe past talking about it. But
I've never had any problem withit.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Which is so weird.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I know. It seems like it should have been harder or
stranger or something, but it'snever bothered me at all.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Because it made sense. Yeah. Why did it make so
much sense?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Because people are complex. This is this is how I
think of it. Maybe this is nothow a therapist would explain it
or anything. When I think aboutmyself, there's a part of me
that loves being a dad, andthere's part of me that hates
being a dad. And there's part ofme that's really outgoing and
part of me that's really shy.
Like, I have all thesecontradictions within me,
(09:26):
different parts of myself. Andso DID to me sounds like just
partitioning off different partsof yourself. Like, not not
voluntarily, but it sounds likea whole person with with walls
inside. That doesn't make it anyless of a person. And so if I
(09:51):
meet an altar who's more playfulor more childlike or more
serious or more depressed orlouder or quieter or angrier or
happier.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Or awesomer.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Or awesomer. They're just to me, those are just parts
of a person.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Do you know when different people are out or
fronting, or can you tell, orhow do you tell or know?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I will admit I am not super great at it. I have
difficulty recognizing people'sfaces just out in the wild. It's
it's just a flight of Sorry.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Can you tell the difference between us, or how do
you tell the difference betweenus? Or does that matter or no
impact you at all?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
When I really I really focus on it, I can tell
the difference. I I feel like Ishould be more sensitive to it.
I know there are other peoplewho can tell right away. But as
I said, I just think of all ofyou as you. But if and whenever
I specifically talk to one ofyou by name, it always seems to
(11:08):
embarrass you or make you feeluncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
There's been such a long time of having to
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Hide.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah. Yeah. And not just waiting for a diagnosis for
her to know about that orwhatever, but because we had
therapists in the past that werenot good in different incidents
that happened where we wereoverly exposed. So now we are
still working through somelayers of needing to protect
(11:40):
ourselves a bit, I guess.Building safety maybe.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah. So there's a number of factors that, you
know, made me not noticenecessarily for a long time that
there were different alterscoming out, and that maybe keep
(12:08):
me from focusing on that now.Like, I I don't usually worry
about which one of you it is,although I know I do interact
with some of you differentlythan others. So, yeah, I think
when I'm focusing on it, I cantell, but I I usually don't
worry about it very much.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Well, and also, like, you can't tell people apart
anyway. Like, do you have thatfacial thing where you can't
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah. I'm, like, facially illiterate. I have a
very hard time telling people'sfaces apart.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
And you don't remember them when you met them.
I don't mean us. I mean, like,even when we're just out in
public.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Oh, yeah. People I've had, like, one on one meetings
with more than one time. Willsee in another context and have
no idea who they are. I know.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
But different but that's a facial recognition
thing. It's different thandissociative because that's one
thing we joke about. Like, thathappens to me too. But it's
because I don't remember it. Youjust don't remember the name
that goes with the face.
But when you talk to them andhave the context, you remember
talking to them. You just don'tremember their face and what
that connects to. Yeah. There'sgotta be a word that. Somebody
(13:15):
will know and will tell us.
So, like, what about the outsidekids, like, parenting? Is that
scary for you that we're in thehouse with your children?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
No. Not even slightly.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
What is that like having different ones of us
interact with the children?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Well, I think it's it's exactly like what I was
saying before about how I thinkabout me. There are times where
I'm really playful with thechildren and times I'm really
stern with the children andtimes I think I'm doing a great
job and times I think I'm doinga terrible job. The difference
is that all of those are me, andeach one of those is someone
(13:56):
different for you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Anything else?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
What what other questions do you have for me?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Do you do different things with different people?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Not intentionally. Think
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Maybe I guess my question is do you feel like we
adapt to you or you adapt to us?Mix?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I think it's a mix. I mean, if if one of you who is
very serious and, like, taskoriented is out, they're gonna
be much less open to watching asilly movie.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But Yeah. She doesn't watch movies
Speaker 2 (14:43):
at If the plan is to watch a silly movie, then one of
you that is really into thatkind of thing might come out
then. Also, it's funny when wewatch like a a Star Wars movie
or something, you'll come outsaying, I think I'm just too
dumb to understand movies likethat. When I think what it is is
(15:03):
that there's like multiplealters jostling for attention to
watch the movie. And so, really,you haven't seen the whole
thing.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Me and John fighting for snacks. Yeah. Yep. Yep. It's
true.
And I think that's a big dealfor us. It has not always been
the case, like, in the past. Butwith you and with where we are,
like, we gel together so well.It's really kind of a miracle
for, like, lack of a betterword. But I think everyone's
(15:35):
relationship with you is veryunique.
And so
Speaker 2 (15:40):
And I I very intentionally love all of you,
like, on purpose.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Mhmm.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Early on, when I was first learning about it, I sent
emails to different altars
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
To make sure that they knew that I knew they were
there and that I cared aboutthem. There are times that some
of you like to make fun of otherones of you.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's me.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
And I never ever play along because that would feel
like cheating.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You bust me every time.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Yeah. No.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I I'm, like, in so much trouble.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I love all of you. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Am I the only one who gets in trouble? It's true.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
You were not the only one who gets in trouble, but you
were the only one who makes funof the other one.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I know you say the only one who makes trouble.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
No. But I love all of you. I do.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Everyone's relationship is different,
though. So there's no like, wedon't love you the same. So I
don't mean by degrees or amount,but I mean we enjoy different
aspects of our relationship isdifferent with everybody. And I
think part of the difference toois when you're saying, like, you
(16:55):
love us and love all of us, lovefor you isn't just a word.
Right.
Love for you means service.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
It's a willingness to serve.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
A willingness to serve. And so like you do stuff
very specific and very active.It's an active love. Like, love
in a verb. You're not justsaying, oh, I love you or I want
attention from you or I wantlike, it's not anything.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Do feel the feeling of love for you, but because I
feel that, I want to make youhappy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Right. And so you're super attentive and you do these
things that are about showingyour love in different ways.
It's not like a classic marriagethat's just terrible and
unsupportive and Both people arelonely and it's awful. Like,
we're laughing, but I know that.That because before when we were
(17:47):
married, like, I was inrelationships where, like, it
was terrible and I cried everynight or whatever.
Like, it was just awful. And soto have found you is such a big
deal. Like, don't make me cry.I'm not gonna be a big old sap.
But but what I'm saying is whatone of the things that we've had
to learn is that when you saythat, it means something
(18:10):
different than when other peoplehave said that in the past.
Because even that could just beeither a really big trigger or
not necessarily something tobelieve or have much faith in,
but because there's such, like,what's the word, congruence
between your words and yourbehavior, I think it increases
(18:33):
safety for us a lot, like agreat deal.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Good.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
So that we are able to connect with you. More of us
can connect with you more anddifferently than any experience
we've had in the past. Andthat's part of what makes it
unique.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Well, I'm glad I can offer that.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And you're also respectful for when it's hard.
Like, you give us time and spacewhen we need to do our
journaling or when we just needto be alone or when there's a
stupid bear on the bed or, like,could you please go buy a
backpack this bear could fit inbecause I'm not taking it in
public? Yeah. Like, you're soparticipatory.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Well, I am also very grateful that you are somebody
who expresses your needsclearly. I don't have to guess
about what you need, and Ireally appreciate that. So I
know how to meet your needs. Iknow when I need to just leave
you alone, and I never take itpersonally. I know when you need
(19:37):
time to do something.
I know when there's an altar outwho has a particular task they
need to do, and I and I can'tdisrupt them. I don't take that.
I mean, I don't why would I takethat personally? It's that
person doing their
Speaker 1 (19:51):
job. It's amazing, though. I think part of why we
can be so high functioning andwork together so well is because
I mean, I know that's on us.Like, I don't mean that in a
codependent way, but I mean partof what really helps and is
supportive is because of whatyou just said. And a lot of what
(20:15):
we are able to do is because ourrelationship is so strong and
because you do respect not justour boundaries, but also our
freedom of expression and thedifferent ways that we have
different needs and differentthings we have to accomplish.
And, like, you've never limitedthat or pressured us to be
(20:39):
something different or to dosomething differently and just
to let us be ourselves. And thatbrings just right there. Just
that peace alone brings so muchhealing and collaboration in and
of itself as well as, like, thestrength and freedom to be able
to improve other things andlearn other ways. Does that make
(21:04):
sense at all? Yeah.
I didn't know this was gonnaturn into a love fest. Okay. So
we had our love fest. That wasfantastic. But okay.
Maybe I should edit that becauseit's gonna sound different than
what I said.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Naughty.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
What I mean is, like, okay, so those are some of the
good things or how we'venormalized it for ourselves,
like where we're at on thosethings. Tell me what is hard
difficult or challenging orwhatever word you wanna use,
politically correct orotherwise, about DID itself or
about living with someone withDID or about being married to
(21:48):
someone with DID or beingmarried to me. Safe zone. It's
all good.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I feel like I'm not gonna be very helpful here
because, honestly, I don't haveany hard things about being
married to you.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Well, I mean so what's hard about DID? Like
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I think all of the hard parts of DID are the things
that you experience. I have notexperienced any hard parts of
DID.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
What what do you mean the hard parts I've experienced?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Well, because some of you are still coming to terms
with the fact you have DID. Andsome of you are really stressed
out about exploring some of thetrauma that made it happen in
the first place. Oh. And I knowall of you feel really anxious
about interacting with people,and is someone gonna recognize
what's going on? I'm fine.
(22:50):
I don't have any of thoseproblems. Oh
Speaker 1 (22:55):
my goodness. Okay. Tell me what you said last
night. Can you remember it?Because that blew my brains out.
Wait. I said it wrong again.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
My mind?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Blew my mind.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
So you were saying, why is it when I think I'm
writing something funny, otherpeople think it's something
really sad? Something like that?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And I said, part of it is just a dry sense of humor.
And part of it is your specificjob on the team
Speaker 1 (23:33):
is Like me specifically.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You specifically, you're sort of a protective
covering. You have that
Speaker 1 (23:40):
that
Speaker 2 (23:41):
level of joy and playfulness. But it doesn't
necessarily mean that you werenot having sad or scared
feelings. And that when you arewriting something that sometimes
those actual underlying feelingssneak out. So while you think
you are expressing somethingfunny, you are actually
expressing something more thanjust that.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I don't know why I married him, you guys. These are
the therapy bombs he drops.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Was the dregs at the bottom of the marriage barrel.
She's like, well, I guess I'll
Speaker 1 (24:15):
dig in. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
What has been hard about having DID and living with
me?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
That's like a double dog dare.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Mhmm.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
I think mostly honestly, at least from my
perspective, it's fighting fortime. Mhmm. Like, I just wanna
chill with you, but we have reallife things. Like, you have work
and she has work. We have housethings.
Like she always has to do choresor help with their homework or
(24:53):
whatever. And then there'soutside kids to deal with and
there's always inside kids todeal with. And not getting to do
what I want, not getting all themoney I want, like just be on an
allowance like I'm 12. I meanthose are like practical things
they're not I don't feel likeI'm in danger or it's hard that
(25:18):
way. Just real life is hardsometimes having to share so
much.
But also even besides theinternal stuff, we're a big
family anyway. We have lots ofkids. And so it's just it's just
a lot to have to share thatmuch. And
Speaker 2 (25:33):
How has it changed since opening up about DID?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I get to be a lot milder. I get to be a sassier.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And so I feel more free, I guess, but there's still
boundaries on that. And so insome ways, I get to be more
myself, but in other ways, thatmeans I have to learn more
things because I'm makingchoices now, like, just for me,
(26:03):
not just to hide.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Mhmm. So before, you were consciously working to
blend in.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Right. But only a year. But also at the same time,
I feel less alone because therewere times before that I got
myself into messes and couldn'task for help so directly because
it wouldn't have made sense howI got into the mess. Mhmm. And I
don't mean always something bigand dramatic, but I mean, even
(26:33):
like my bandanas for example,like I really like wearing my
bandanas, but it wasn'tconsistent with everything else
all the time.
And so it's hard.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
For the record, I probably would not have noticed
anything if you had wornbandanas.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Well, I'm just trying to think of like a I'm just
trying to think of like aneutral example of this is not
trauma related.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Oh, sure.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And and again, a lot of that was just about me. Like,
I didn't know that I could,like, so easily just do my own
thing. When when we married youand it was like you were good,
like, that freaked me out. Goodfreaked me out. Kind like the
(27:22):
therapist freaks me out.
The same reason. Like she's verychill, but very direct and very
honest and keeps it safe, andthat freaks me out. Even though
it's good, and you do the samething to me. Like, all this
caring and concerning and allthis
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You're just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Right. And so many shoes have dropped.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So many shoes.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
But not yours, and not the therapist, and not our
family. We're okay, and thattrips me out sometimes. So I
guess that's a hard thing too. Ithink and I have to be careful
here, because I'm I'm I am onlyallowed to speak for myself.
Right?
Like, that was one of the dealsof the podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I can't speak for someone else. So I don't wanna
tell her story, but I think oneof the things that really
changed everything, obviously,was when the parents died.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Mhmm.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Because we had worked for so long to not just be safe.
We had worked for so long, notjust to, like, be safe from them
or how to interact safely withthem, But so much energy had
(28:43):
been gone had gone into so muchenergy had gone into protecting
ourselves and dealing with that,that when they were actually
dead, like legit dead,everything kind of fell apart.
And part of it was because ithad been so hard for so long,
and part of it was because wewere safe now, part of it was
(29:07):
like her layers of guilt to beso relieved that they are gone.
And like there's so many so manylayers, but it was so huge and
such a big thing. That's wheneverything fell apart.
But it's also when we chose youback.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
I mean, had already chosen to get you married. I
mean We had already chosen tomarry you. Mhmm. But I mean, I
think that was the moment. I'mthinking specifically after the
car accident when, like, I, me,I drove over to her house
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
And wanted just to run. And, like, I wanted
alcohol, and I wanted to smoke,and I wanted to do everything
that I was working really hardnot to do, but and I wanted to
just disappear. Like, in myhead, like, we could totally
just let the one that runs run,and we could have gotten out of
(30:14):
there. But we didn't, and thatwas the first time we didn't. We
stayed and we didn't wipe outeverything or start over or run
away or disappear.
We stayed and we called you, Icalled you. It was like I choose
you. I need you here right nowbecause this is hard. Yeah. And
you came.
(30:35):
And I think that was really, atleast for me, a turning point.
Not just in my relationship withyou, but, like, in my capacity
to be in a relationship withyou. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
It does.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Also, you make me treats.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I do.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I don't get to eat them.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
You don't. Sure you do.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Sometimes.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
We have we have date nights.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Yeah. But he takes all the food.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Not always and not all of it. But, you know, it's
just funny.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
That is pretty hilarious.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Wow. That went a lot deeper than what I intended.
You're so slippery. This is whyI hate therapy and hate being
married, you guys. Can you thinkof anything else?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Mm-mm.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Oh, say bye.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Thanks for doing that. That was pretty brave.
Thank you for listening. Yoursupport really helps us feel
less alone while we sort throughall of this and learn together.
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