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January 20, 2014 10 mins

JohnMark plays in the snow with the outside children.  There are snacks.  He introduces "NTIS", which means "Now Time Is Safe".

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Over:

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Welcome to the System Speak Podcast, a podcast about
Dissociative Identity Disorder.If you are new to the podcast,
we recommend starting at thebeginning episodes and listen in
order to hear our story and whatwe have learned through this
endeavor. Current episodes maybe more applicable to long time
listeners and are likely tocontain more advanced topics,

(00:33):
emotional or other triggeringcontent, and or reference
earlier episodes that providemore context to what we are
currently learning andexperiencing. As always, please
care for yourself during andafter listening to the podcast.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
And it's snowing, and that's what I can tell everybody
about is it's snowing. And thesnow is very cold, but also it's
kinda sparkly, but it tried toblind my eyes, I think. But we
walked to the park. It's onlytwo miles. And we walked to the
park in the snow, and I did noteven fall one time.

(01:15):
And then we played on theplayground in the snow, and I
got to do all the footprintsbecause no one else came to the
park in the snow. And then,also, it was walking home. I saw
a dog, but she said I cannotkeep it. But I got to play in
the snow, and I got home safe.And I find my way because I know

(01:38):
how to do it all by myself, andI have permission to walk to the
park.
So we walk the kids to school,and then we can walk to the park
all by ourselves without nothinghelping us. Just all by myself,
and we had so much fun. Can youhear me walking? Crunch. Crunch.

(02:07):
Crunch. That's just me stomping.I like if we could go stomping.
If I can go stomping in thesnow, then I can hear a crunch,
crunch, crunch. Do you hear thatsound?
It was crunch, crunch, crunch.And then I just get to walk all
the way. And when we get home,then we play in the backyard,

(02:29):
and we made a snowman. And Iknow Amber just sings the song,
do
you be a snowman? I say, stopsinging the Frozen song because
I'm tired of the Frozen song,but she still just keeps
singing. Do you wanna be asnowman? Do you wanna build a
snowman? Do you wanna build asnowman? Over and over and over.

(02:50):
No.
I don't wanna build a snowman. Idid wanna build a snowman, but I
don't wanna build a snowman nowwith you if you're gonna keep
singing that song. So shestopped singing the song. So
since she stopped singing thesong, I went and I got some
carrots and also someblueberries, and we used the
blueberries for to make someeyeballs and to make some

(03:12):
buttons. And then I took herhusband's hat, and we made a hat
for our snowman.
And that's what we did today,playing outside. But now the
kids are at school, and I'm soglad because they are home for
so many days for it wasThanksgiving, and I got to eat

(03:32):
so much food. I had some mashedpotatoes, and I had some green
beans, and I had some meat, andI had some pie, and I had some
what else do I have? I don'teven know because I had so many
foods. And we put up ourChristmas tree, and I'm not even

(03:55):
scared of it.
But some people are scared ofit. But I'm not scared of it
today. My therapist says, shesays she says she says, now time
is safe. And that means if youhave memory time, it's not right
now. It's just a memory.
And it's a long time ago. And itreally was hard, so you don't

(04:19):
have to feel bad that it washard. But now is safe and that
can help you feel better. Andshe wrote on my hand with a
Sharpie, and it said, N T I S.And that means, Now time is
safe.
She wrote on my hand. And so weput our Christmas tree up, and I

(04:43):
look at my hand, and it says,now time is safe. And all those
outside kids, they had so muchfun of it. And there are some
Christmas lights, and Amberlights the Christmas lights,
which make her stop singing thesnowman song. And then now
everybody, all the kids, all theoutside kids all went back to

(05:08):
school.
But I don't have to go toschool. I can just stay home,
and I can play in the snow, andI can go a snowman. And I don't
know what else I'd do. Maybe apuzzle. Or I know somebody who
maybe will be painting today,but I'm not very good at
painting, but I can if I wantto.

(05:30):
But I don't get in trouble atour house because now time is
safe. So our house now is a safehouse, and so we have a house
that's safe now. So we don'twant to be too scared. And if I
go out and play in the snow, Idon't get locked out there or
nothing, and I'm not cold, andI'm not scared. I just come

(05:54):
inside, and I can warm up, and Ican play with something else, or
I can do some Play Doh orsomething.
But I don't have to be afraidbecause now time is safe. That's
what t I s means. It means nowtime is safe. And so I wrote in
Sharpie on my hand, and also Ican get a snack maybe. Maybe

(06:22):
some pudding or a piece ofcheese or maybe maybe we'll have
something fun at lunchtime.
I I don't really know what we'rehaving at lunchtime because
well, I just ate breakfast, butI'm excited for lunchtime. I I

(06:43):
also kinda like dinnertime, butwhen the kids come home from
school, then that is snack time.And I like snack time too, so
that might be fun. But when thekids come home from school,
then, you know, we're doingwe're going outside at the
backyard by the park, and we'regoing sledding down the hill.

(07:08):
And I cannot even wait.
I'm so excited for it. You willnot even believe it. It will be
so much fun. Know what else isfun? Coming in from the snow and
having hot chocolate, and youcan put some marshmallows in
there.
And that's pretty fun toobecause I like a good snack. And

(07:31):
if you're cold, you need to warmup. And the best way to warm up
is some hot chocolate and somemarshmallows in there for so
it'll be tasty. And then andthen your hot chocolate will
make you warm, but not hot, justwarm. You know what can make you

(07:52):
hot is if you have chips andsalsa.
That's a good snack. If you havechips and salsa, then that can
make you warm. That's in a funway or like a summertime snack
or really an anytime snack orjust if you want some snack,

(08:13):
some salsa. It's it's prettyyummy. So that's what that's
what that's that's that's what Iknow about is some snacks and
hot chocolate and the snow andalso some dogs, but I don't got
a dog right now.
I used to have a dog, and Ireally like dogs. But I don't

(08:35):
got one right now, but I thinkthat's all. Because I I try to
make podcasts like Sasha, butthis kinda just made me hungry.
So I think I need to go get asnack for for snack time because
we talked about snack time, somaybe now it is snack time. So I

(08:59):
hope you have a good day, andyou can go play in the snow.
And I'll see you another time,but not like a video because she
told me it's only podcast islistening and not a video for
watching. So she teach me Sashateach me how to do it. Maybe I
can. But I think maybe now weall go have a snack. Maybe you

(09:24):
might want a snack, somethingsomething delicious that you you
feel not hungry and then youfeel delicious and and then that
that's pretty happy because nowtime is safe.
So snack time is safe. Yeah.That's how it goes, I think.

(09:47):
Thanks for listening. Yoursupport really helps us feel
less alone while we sort.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Thank you for listening. Your support really
helps us feel less alone whilewe sort through all of this and
learn together.
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