Season 2 - Ep 19 - Troll & Delta Heat - The After Movie Diner Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
Yes, that's right. It's the inevitably nonsensical, yet hopefully enjoyable
After Movie Diner. If you enjoy the show and have
pursued the recommended treatment from your medical providers, why not
support the show on Patreon over at PA t R
e o N dot com forward slash After Movie Diner,

(00:35):
rate and review the show wherever podcasts are found and
rating and reviewing is possible. Even a one star review
provides useful insights on exactly the sort of petty minded
and wretched individual who negatively reviews free entertainment they do
not need to be consuming. So, without further dribbling, please

(00:56):
put down your lenon Meranus for the one the only
charm Cross.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Aftermovie Dina
back again in the hot the co host hot seat.
It is the wonderful Matt Poia. Sir, how are you doing?

Speaker 3 (01:19):
I'm great, And it always works out that the first
time I speak, there's a fire truck going by. So
speaking of hot seat, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Well, don't burn the apartment down. I mean, I once
did a podcast late one night in the Bronx when
I was on cross Talk and my building caught on fire.
While I was, Well, what was funny was it was
sort of a quad building and my bedroom window merely
looked out on other people's windows, so it was some

(01:51):
real uh you know, rear window. Only murders in the building.
But but like run down and in the Bronx, like
those were really nice ones in those films and shows.
Mine was just like, oh, look, I can see the
couple across the way naked in the kitchen. That's not
I want to cook some eggs and there's two obese

(02:14):
people naked. Nothing that there's anything wrong with being obese
and naked. I just don't want to. I don't personally,
when I'm trying to cook eggs need to see your
butt crack in the kitchen. I just don't. I mean, listen,
call me old fashioned, Matt, call me, call me crazy,

(02:36):
but when I'm cooking eggs, no, but like, and all
my windows were open because it was sort of during
the summer, and I started to smell smoke, looked out
the window and saw black smoke coming from somewhere. Couldn't
see flames, and no alarms were going off, but black
smoke was coming from somewhere, so I simply shut all

(02:58):
the windows and carry on podcasting right, like the building
could have been on fire. I had no evidence that
it wasn't. In fact, I had more evidence than it was.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
But I get it because it's like, you know, when
you're doing the podcast, you finally get this thing scheduled.
It's like, man, I don't want to like have to
reschedule while we're here, we're doing it.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
It's like, yes, so it was live, so live people
got treated to me being like shit, shit, shit, Am
I okay? Should I go down? Like I think when
I put it up as a podcast after it was live,
I edited out some of the running around. But I
think if you listen to the cross Talk episode with

(03:40):
Kirk Howley as a guest in the first season of
cross Talk back in the twenty fourteen twenty fifteen.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Years, was that on our native podcasting? I did did
the DTVC podcast, but Jamie or you know, at like
eight and then yeah, sorry cross Talk And then the
mohead wrestling was that the well?

Speaker 2 (03:58):
I think he started with that, but then he did
Drunk on VHS and then it turned out that the
people who were running the night were inflating the numbers
for their section to make it look like they were
super popular and we weren't, and I'm like, right, but

(04:19):
why would everybody leave? And exactly, like if I get it,
like if there's some drop off, like if we're really crap,
there might be some drop off, but not everyone would leave,
you know what I mean. If you'd listen to whatever
Builge show they were putting out, if you sat through that,
you'd be like, well, okay, here's more bearded men talking

(04:42):
about stuff. I'll continue listen. You wouldn't be like, nope, nope,
they're not my specific bit of men. So yeah, they
were like pumping up their numbers somehow, all ringing in
twice or some bullshit just to make us look bad.
But it's all right. We felt bad, so that's that's
all that mattered. We did feel bad.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Because I remember one of the things about the you
know that that iteration of the podcast was I was
always on live at eight o'clock at night, so like
nobody from England could do the show unless they wanted
to be on it like two in the morning. And
then like the West Coast was always hard like because
you know, they'd like five pm there times. It was
like we have this sweet spot of just like I mean,
we did have a couple from from the West Coast,

(05:22):
but yeah, it was like this sweet spot of all,
like you know, the East Coast are, which actually there's
a lot of us in the East Coast area. They
come up in skies, pretty young Midge video vagus like
kind of everybody's kind of all we're all kind of
clustered in this this little northeast Nietche a good chunk
of us. Are was it that? I guess that was
in Florida?

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Right?

Speaker 3 (05:39):
But he was he wasn't. Yeah, yeah, because Jamie was
was was in Georgia at that time that she moved
to Michigan during the Yeah, yeah, And so.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, she's in Michigan now. I have been trying to
get her on the show for I don't know how long,
and I cannot. I cannot get her on the show.
So I don't know what's happened to Jamie. Jamie, if
you're out that and you're listening to this, and if
you ever occasionally be like, oh well know what John
and matter up to Jamie? If you're listening to this,
email me or something. You don't have to be on

(06:06):
social media, but contact me and let's let's let's do
a podcast lunch or something. Anyway, what have I been
thinking about this week? Matt, Well, I'll tell you what.
I tell you what, Matt, No, and I'm I'm this
is going to be a positive moment. This is gonna
be a heart warming Oprah Winfrey. Every tear drop is gold,

(06:30):
She's going to be She's going to be dining out
on people's emotions like some kind of hideous, greedy vampire
of the soul that that she is. I mean, she
just is. But anyway, I know people like to convince
themselves she's some kind of saint, but anyway, simply trading

(06:53):
on the troubles of others. Anyway, We're gonna have a
heartwarming moment. I tell you why. Because normal we're a
bit doom and gloom. Normally we're you know, normally, I'm
the kind of person where I'm like, well, I'll be
happy if we're not in civil war by Christmas, you
know what I mean. Like, that's kind of where I'm at.
Not that I'm panicking about it daily, but I'm certainly

(07:15):
at a place where I'm just like I will not
be surprised, Like I will not be like when when
David Muir. Fuck David Muir. But when David Muir comes
on TV and he's.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
You know, he does his stern very impress.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
I have something important to say when he says, you know,
shots were fired today, when you know two MAGA senators
opened fire on what you know, two Democratic senators and
then they were escorted out of the building and blah
blah blah blah blah, which led to Texas seceding and
bombs going off in Virginia, you know what I mean.

(07:54):
So that I will assume. I will assume that somewhere
between November sixth and December twenty fourth, that that will happen.
I just will. And those people are just like, ah,
we'll start the coup in January. Maybe they'll be like
January sixth, they'll be like, let's get through the holiday, people, people, people,
let's get through the holidays. Let's not revolt against a

(08:18):
Democratic vote until January. When are the sales done, Margaret,
I think, but January sixth, Oh well, January sixth would
be perfect because we almost tried to revolt last time.
On January sixth. We got far enough that we killed
a couple of cops. You know, the people that we're
supposed to be supporting because we have those thin blue
line flags everywhere like fucking assholes. Anyway, normally I'm of

(08:43):
that ilk right, Matt, right, you and I sat here. No,
I wouldn't say doomsay. It's just a practically awaiting doom
with a you know, with some provisions. Let's say, like
we know dooms coming around for dinner. We've got some
fruit and nuts.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
The ball the nuts to crack right like that, Yeah,
brazil nuts and whatnot. And wouldn't like teak bawl in there.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
The hardest snack to casually eat. Whenever I see like
whenever I watch old movies and then you know, before
before there were snacks. You know, before there was easy snacks,
and you just saw someone whether it was a Western
or whether it was like a Casablanca style set in
the thirties kind of movie, whenever you saw like a
sweaty guy at a bar in a in a sort

(09:38):
of a thin beige suit, sweating at the bar, wearing
a trill bey and but cracking nuts, like cracking nuts
like like it's easy, Like you just put a brazil
that pop the nut up, it goes in your mouth. Neck,
Like when I see that, I'm always I always think
to myself, you know, back in the day, people needed

(09:58):
to know how to do stuff, like people had to
have skills. Nowadays, we just bang a button to see
if we can get more things that we want. We
just got Amazon bring me things, and you know, door
Dash bring me things, and and and that's that's what

(10:18):
we do. And it's fine. So normally that's what I'm feeling. However, Matt,
I'll tell you where my my hope is coming from,
my positivity is coming from. And listen, I still think
we're doomed, but I think that there is a there.
If we're doomed, there is a underground resistance that is
beginning to show its face. And I'm talking, of course,

(10:41):
Matt of the horror movie fan or indeed as Joe
Bob Briggs, the Duke of the Drive In would call
them mutants. Our mutant fam are rearing their heads louder
and louder. So it started. I think this new wave
started a little bit with the revival of Joe Bob Briggs.

(11:02):
I really do think that brings brought a lot of
people together, and I think it's no mistake that AMC
gave him the reins to the Walking Dead episodes and
also had him do Front of the Thirteenth on there.
I think they're realizing through Shudder just the fact that
everyone subscribes for him, and if it because and the

(11:23):
funny thing is, we all own the movies that he screens.
It's not like we need Shudder to stream you know,
Slumber Party, Masca or Sleeperway Camp. I own them, like
I don't need Shudder for that. I like Shutter because
of Joe Bob Briggs. But I think it started a
bit like that. But I think it also started with
the wave of And I was just watching The Roost

(11:47):
the other day, which was ty West's first movie and
the movie that kind of led to all the other
stuff that ty West has done. And I think with
that way and then sort of Joe Bob coming back,
I think those sort of two things have you know,
whether it's you Know Your next or we are still

(12:10):
here or you know those kind of movies. And now
with the Terrifier franchise, it's sort of what we've what
we're going through now. Which I think is really interesting
is if you think of those sort of indie slightly
hipster horror movie guys from the early two thousands to

(12:31):
now the Tye West or whatever of the world. And
then you think of, you know, Damian Leoni and what
he's doing with the Terrifying franchise, but also stuff like
Greasy Strangler, and you know, even things like Destroyal Neighbors
and some of the sort of more goofy, gooey sort

(12:53):
of body horror stuff we're getting back. I think we're
seeing what we saw when we went from something like
Texas Chainsawnasca and to some extent the First Halloween an
Evil Dead, some of these more pensive, tense filled, slow
burn horrors, and I think we're now beginning to see
the kind of brash, bold, colorful, loud, gloopy horrors that

(13:16):
we were getting in the mid eighties. And that's how
I'm going to look at it. And the positive thing
is so not only is Terrified three made eighteen point
six million dollars, which this last weekend, which is fucking brilliant.
But I don't know if you've been out in the
Spirit Halloween world or the Walmart world or just going
out trying to buy Halloween stuff this year, what is incredible?

(13:39):
And I'm basing this only on the last fifteen years
that I've been doing it here in this country. But
in the last two or three years, we've seen a
much bigger rise of horror movie merch over the old
traditional either like Frankenstein, Dracula, you know, Sexy Nurse, whatever,

(14:00):
those kind of ones. We're now seeing sexy Beetlejuice and
sexy Michael Myers and sexy Nurse. So I think we're
getting now. But what I mean is is I walked
around almost every different costume shop or major retailers selling
Halloween stuff to decorate your house with at least a third,

(14:23):
if not a half, of it was recognizable gen X
horror stuff, whether that's Freddie Jason, Michael Beetlejuice, what was
the other one, oh, Tails from the Crypt. I've seen
a lot of like crypt Keeper stuff. Yeah. So I
just think it's interesting that that's the way it's going,

(14:44):
and I think that I choose to be especially as
I just had my horror movie weekend and I ended
it with two brand new movies, Long Legs and Arcadian,
both of which I would recommend, but for different reasons.
I'm I'm not only feeling more hopeful in the state
of horror in general, and just not only the state

(15:06):
of horror, but the security Horror now has you know
what I mean, It has a streaming service that knows
what it's doing. It has two or three studios now
with A twenty four and Blumhouse and others who are
dedicated to well, we're just going to put out, Oh
you want three hour elevated horror with a list actors

(15:26):
standing around crying, great, fantastic. We'll give you three of
those a year.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
You know.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
But to see something, you know that was still on
the outskirts, something like Terrifier do that kind of business, dude,
I think the tide is turning a little bit.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, no, I totally agree. And I think one of
the things I think it's pre pandemic. I don't know
if you've noticed this as well, but like if you
go to the drug store or whatever grocery store, and
you know, late August, you'd start to see Christmas end caps,
you know, like like those blue tins or like those
large kins of like like the popcorn. You know, you
start to see those things creeping in a little bit.

(16:06):
And Halloween almost got like two weeks. It was like
Halloween was like October first, maybe like the tenth or
something till like maybe the thirtieth, Like the thirty first.
You couldn't get Halloween candy on the thirty first, Like
that was you know, it was just like they were
just pulling everything out and throwing Christmas stuff up as
quickly as they could. And it feels like now you
get a legit, Like it seems like when back to

(16:28):
school is done in like after like Labor Day or
something like that, it's Halloween, you know, like they move
into Halloween and you get a good two months of
it now. And I think that that that's like you
said kind of to your point that it seems like
there's a bigger horror audience that people are embracing Halloween more.
They're coming back to it. I mean, I think there's
also a pushback on the whole Christmas being, you know,

(16:49):
a four month celebrate, you know, like I think people
are pushing back on that now too. People don't find
it cute anymore. If somebody likes to listen to Christmas
music all year round, right, Like, that person's not cute anymore.
That's not funny, right.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
That person dragged out into the middle of the times
and physically humiliated.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yeah, and I think.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
And I think, you know, talking about you, you're doing
gloom kind of thing. I think horror fans can be
kind of a beacon for this because they're the ones
who really started the charge of like, Okay, the fall
is not pumpkin spice latte season and sweater season, and
you know Instagram influencers with their their knit caps, you know,
walking with their dogs with leaves in the background. It's

(17:33):
it's not Christmas, you know, from from August on, no, no,
October first through, you know, we're gonna take this month.
This is our month. This is you know, horror Appreciation
Month is October now, And like they've they've made it
that now. Granted, horror fans watch horror movies all year round,
but by said, you know, we're not letting Christmas take
over Halloween anymore. Were and they've claimed it back in

(17:55):
a really strong way. I think it's a sign for
all of us that if there's something that we love
and enough other people we know love it too, you
can claim it back. You don't have to just let
you know, you don't have to just let corporate America
say no, No, we need to we need to get
in the black. So we're gonna we're gonna extend Black
Friday through.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
You know, it's like we're claiming back podcasts, Matt. You know,
I did my whole rant about pump up the volume,
and we you and I single handedly well and with
Gary Hill. But a few beacons likeing Lord of the
Rings where they light the beacon and then it goes
like three hundred miles and then there's another beacon is

(18:33):
lit and it's on a cloudy mountaintop. So even though
it's a fucking beacon, no one can see it because
it's above the fucking cloud line. But they're lighting fucking
beacons all the way across Middle Earth. We are those
beacon mats. Sorry, we are those beacons, Matt. And so
you know, we need to keep doing this and we

(18:54):
are still doing it. And it's a wonderful thing because
otherwise the corporate podcas asked nightmares win, and I will
not let that happen. Matt. You will have to pry
this mic out of my cold dead hand. And that's true.
But no, I find it super good that the horror

(19:15):
community is doing what it's doing. I also know that
the horror community is a more liberal community most of
the time. Obviously, everyone has their broad political spectrum in
any kind of sub genre, but in general, horrorly or
certainly the people who make horror, that's a better way
to say, not necessarily the people who watch it, but

(19:35):
the people who make horror tend to be universally sort
of progressive, more or less or at least thoughtful, which
is always nice that they're normally thinking about things in
order to tell stories about them. They're also it's also
on the few genres where stories are still being told.
So instead of blockbusters where I feel like the story

(19:57):
has literally become one story, it's there is a villain.
The villain is ambiguous because while you understand what the
villain is doing, the fact that the villain, the result
of the villain doing something is that most of us die,
even though you understand why the villain is doing it
and what the villain's psychology is and blah blah blah

(20:17):
blah blah. We just can't stand that level of human death.
So we've got to stop the villain, right. That has
been the plot of almost every blockbuster superhero movie and
or big budget action film forever. All the franchises have
come back, they've all got these ambiguous villains because that
makes it interesting. Right, maybe it did the first time

(20:40):
or the second time, but if you thought about anything
else other than you know, well, the world's overpopulated. So
my villain is going to kill half the people. Oh
that's funny, because that's what literally the last eight villains
have all said they were going to do. But so
what I'm loving in horror is instead of people just going,
I mean, look, horror that I'm cynical about, there's still

(21:02):
there's still horror where people are just going, well, we know,
like zombies and tits work, so let's make a movie
called zombie tits and get on with it. You know,
there's still those people. And look those people are. They're
the carnies of the horror community, and we love them,
we absolutely love them. But they are the kind of
rough and tumble, scrappy like you know what I mean. Oh,

(21:24):
we put tits on Bigfoot, you know whatever, and you're like, ah,
Bigfoot tens wonderful, Bigfoot. Zombie tits well and off to
the races and are just at the very small But
Starr and Carmen electric like she's still around, she's still
doing things all right. Then there I get an electu
in Zombie Bigfoot Tits. But anyway, there's still those guys,

(21:45):
and God bless them. But what I'm what I'm liking
is that even the straight to shutter or straight to
streaming or even straight to video horror like what I
mentioned Arcadian for example, which I don't think if it
got a theatrical release it was for a week and
blinket it was gone. Watching that on streaming or owning
that now on Blu Ray. These are movies that have thoughts, emotion, characters, storylines. Yes,

(22:14):
some complexity, and yes, some exploitation, because you can't make
a horror film without a smidge of exploitation. But it's
I don't know. I just think they're doing really well
with all of it, and I'm very positive about it.
And one last thing about on the subject is a
personal thing, which is that I think I had got

(22:36):
and I was certainly getting known for this, but I
think I had got a little set in my ways
and bent out of shape about a lot of stuff.
For example, five years ago me would have been very
snooty about Terrifier and gone well, you know, it's just
Gore for Gore's sake, Like, what's the fucking you know
what I mean, I would have been and I wouldn't
have been wrong. You know, I'm not going to say

(22:59):
that terrifiers going to replace Michael Myers or or Jason
for me. But you know, I definitely would have been
more snooty about it. I would have, you know, I
would have. I would have compared it more to the
films of Rob Zombie than say the films of John
Carpenter or even West Craven. But now, for whatever reason,

(23:21):
and again, maybe it's because we're on Doom's doorstep. We've
rung the bell and we're just waiting for Doom to
let us in with open arms. Maybe it's because of
that that I've just kind of thrown a lot of
my preconceived bullshit out of the window. Or maybe I'm
just mellowing with age, or maybe I'm doing that thing
where and Jim and I used to talk about this

(23:41):
all the time, where you feel that middle aged male
white crap creep into your head. Well, what I mean,
it's it's not wrong. Men have toilets, you know, whatever
it is, like you I don't say that, but you know,
you hear that thing, and people say, well, you know,
I'm worried about women in the bathrooms, you know, being
male the way man, And in their head that sounds

(24:02):
perfectly reasonable because they've succumbed to middle aged, white nonsense
brain and it comes for all of us. But I
am fighting it with every every single bone, breath and
hair in my body. And I think because I'm fighting it,
I'm moving more into a sort of zen Buddhist dude

(24:22):
state where let people have their terrifiers. Let it make
eighteen point five million dollars, Let horror rise again to
overtake the commodity and banality of the Marvel movies.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Well, you know, and I think what makes the terrifier
thing all that much better is that you get this
situation with Warner right where it looks like this Joker
movie is gonna lose them more money than the tax
right off they got by burying Batwoman or Batgirl, you know,
right right, Like that's how bad this thing is going
to do. And it's like that Todd you know, the
director who did like The Hangover and like you know whatever,

(25:01):
old school and stuff.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
He did a road trip right, exactly off the back
of American Pie and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
Yeah, so that guy had a win, right, he just
had he had a win with the first Joker. So
what do you do. You give him two hundred million
dollars and say have at it, and it's like, you know,
I don't know, because I think they're thinking. I think
they're thinking, was well Tim Burton, right, he made the
first Batman and we gave him a blank check, and
he made something amazing with Batman Returns. So I think

(25:30):
they thought maybe we'll touch Except for the.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Time the studio didn't think Batman Returns was amazing. I
think Batman Returns has got more kudos now now that
we're all older, now that the Batman generation is older,
and we're telling the people watching combat movies today, no, no, no,
Batman Returns. It's fucking awesome. Like it's dark and weird,
and Danny DeVito is fucking grotech like it's the closest

(25:54):
Tim Burton's ever come to doing true like grotesque. Ye,
and you've got Christopher Walken and Billy Dee Williams. I mean,
you've just gotten so many coal Not to mention then,
of course, the Queen isself Michelle Pfeiffer as cat Woman.
I mean, it really is. It's a tremendous, tremendous sequel,
and I wish Bern had done two more. Not that

(26:15):
I'm not a Shoemacher fan, but you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
No, No, I totally agree. Yeah, So it's like, you've
got this thing, We're Warner. I think people wanted Warner to.
I think people were hoping for a good Joker movie
because they liked the first one, so I think they
were hoping the Second Woman. And I haven't seen it yet,
so I don't know. I can't say either way. But
I think one of the things that people that makes
this Terrifier thing sweeter for more people is that it
did better than The Joker, because you know, you had

(26:40):
dead Pool Wolverine, which I loved a dead Pool and Wolverine, but.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
I would even count but I would even count dead
Pool and Wolverine as part of this more weird and
wonderful generation that we're moving into, because think of the gore, violence, swearing,
and sure the part was you know, Marvel beige nonsense

(27:04):
and whatever, but he hung enough vulgar, grotesque bubbles on
that bear tree that we all were entertained. So and
I think that when you start a major comic book
movie with someone beating a bunch of people to bloody
pulps with the bones of one of your most beloved

(27:24):
characters who has died, that is that is a turning
of the tie because they can't ignore that now, they
can't ignore that, they can't ignore terror terrifier, they can't
ignore that people out there want adult fucking movies with
cool shit happening in them.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
I guess please, that's a really great point because Kevin
fig I think.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Oshige is also or fied your fiege.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
I mean, I don't know that he had a bad
year last year, because I mean, everybody focused on Marvels,
but I'm Guardians and the galaxy theory really well. But
but just the same that the optics were that they
had a bad year, and he says, okay, and and
you know Bob Iger too, you know, you know obviously
it's the big ceoga each beature, but.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
Kevin Age and Beja, Yeah, they could.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Have said, all right, let's keep doing the same crap
we're doing, or let's let's do something. Let's let's let
Ryan Reynolds do the movie. Let's let that crew do
the movie that they're going to do right, and it
wins in this big way. I mean, you know, talking
about the whole you know, like you know, conservatives or whatever.
I mean, this whole idea that that Disney is like
go woke, go broke kind of thing. Well, they got
like three billion dollars in two movies this year, So

(28:39):
I think people are okay with you know, like they've
got enough. You know, they're making enough money. Enough of
us don't care.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
You know, when I see big corporations like Disney that
own half the planet quote unquote going woke, that means
that that's the future. That means you can't put that
genie back in the bottle. You can't go Everyone has
to go back to, you know, not being gay, not
being tried, and not being black, not being in a
childless marriage or in a or in a you can't

(29:06):
be in a marriage. You can't share your bed until
you're in a marriage. Like, you can't put any of
that back. You can't put the sexual revolution and civil
rights and gay rights back into it. But you just can't.
So these things are happening, whether Maga Wanka is like
like it or not, and they're happening because the major
corporations have backed them.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
So it's the other hope that I have.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Like, when I see shit like that, I'm like, it
actually doesn't really matter half the time who's in the
White House because if corporate Now listen, I'm not saying
corporation is good. They've also decided to poison us and
you know, feed us dangerous amounts of drugs and get
us hooked on barbiturates, and you fed us food that
will give us massive cancers and all sorts of stuff.

(29:49):
I mean, look, I'm not they polluted our oceans, polluted
our land. Like, I'm not pro corporation. I'm just saying
that in terms of you know, waves or progressive moves forward.
Once General Motors and Disney have agreed on something, you know,
we're after the races, That's all I exactly. And when

(30:10):
we see the horror weirdo mutant family, call us what
you will, the great Unwashed rebellion, and our revolution might
not come in the form of violence. It might come
in the fact that we simply with our pocketbooks, force
Hollywood to start making films in which clowns horribly mutilate people.

(30:33):
That would be incredible if mister Hollywood, the guy with
a big cigar, the producer, we all imagine, why is
this movie? Why is this thing that just made eighteen
million dollars? Oh you know, it's called terrifying clown mutilates people.
I want ten clown mutilation pictures in you know what
I mean? Like he'll, I want them in production yesterday.

(30:56):
Who do we have with those clowns and death?

Speaker 3 (31:00):
It's funny. I was reading what helped with Diehard three.
They they wanted to make it kind of similar to
the other Diehards with the same paradigm, and they couldn't
because there were so many Diehard ripoffs coming out.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
Right.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
Can you imagine if they go to make Terrifire four
and all the studios have just made so many terrifier
ripoffs that they can't do a clown beutilating people that
they cant to go completely bonkers with it.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
What's like a clown, Well, we can't do a banded
woman that's out? What about slug slug face points, slug
face point goes on a kill r page. Whatever you've
got like one of those guys like in freaks and
it's just in a sack or no arms or legs.

(31:43):
I'm not listen, it's not about being a friend. I'm
just saying that the people with no arms and legs
used to be adjacent to clowns in things. So it's
right that you can make a horror movie about a
slug boy who kills people with his teeth, maybe slices
the Achilles tended with a dagger that he's had in
his teeth, like a like a pirate skeleton.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
What is it? Is it you see Santa Cruz that
are the banana slugs, that's their mascot, so like maybe
like he's like, you know, he's still a football game
doing his mascot thing and he gets a hit by
lightning and he turns into the banana slug.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
I tell you what. There is a lucrative and me
and my friend Nick have talked about this. We even
did an episode on baseball horror. There is a lucrative
sub sub genre to be mined that has not yet
been mined enough in my book, and that is sports horror. Yeah,
sports horror is it's I mean, think about it, Matt.

(32:37):
I think we've had die Hard in a sports stadium
with sudden death, and you.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Know we have the fan soccer killers. I mean, I mean,
you know speaking you know, DeNiro pulling out a knife
at home plate, and that's what the baseball game like.
It doesn't get more beautiful.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
Than that, right, Or or the guy trying to kill
the queen and make a gun at ball game, or
know about eighty five different endings of Adam Sandler movies
where the woman he loves is finally realizes that he's
a good guy while at a ball stadium filled with cameos.
But and I love Adam Sander. I'm just saying that's

(33:15):
what happens. But imagine, you know, like your sham Lama
what's his name tried to do a slasher at a
concert and he was like, well, I'm going to go
film a real concert and while the concert's going on,
I'm going to make like this Josh Hartnett slasher. Right.
Isn't that what that movie was? A trap? Right? I

(33:36):
My friend Nick and I have talked about this all
the time. Imagine the possibilities for a slasher, a slow burning,
slow rising slasher taking place at a at a major
baseball game, at a like at a World Series kind
of baseball game, and there is a you know, an
ex pissed off zombie ghost, you know, baseball player in

(34:01):
you know, in some kind of raggedy clothing going around
with the you know, catches mosk on and and a
baseball bat filled with razor blades or something. You know
what I mean. Like, wouldn't you watch that fucking movie
like every week?

Speaker 3 (34:15):
Yeah? Because because what you could do, like like for example,
Pete Rose who just passed away recently, right, he didn't
get in the Hall of Fame of the gambling thing,
so you could have like this old time he looked
to like eight men out right, So like this old
timey guy who like, you know, he got banned from
baseball because he was gambling on the sport. And then
his ghost comes back and it haunts the park, and
it's like yeah, and you know, I mean there's all

(34:37):
these old traditions with baseball. So like one of them,
one of the traditions with the base with baseball is
if you've if you've got a new person at the park,
you tell them you got to find the key to
the batting cage. And so the joke is the way
the joke works is you say, oh, go go to
this person to get the key to the batting cage.
And then when they go to that person, that person
to go to that person for the key to the
batting cage, and you end up going all over the

(34:57):
park like they put you know, they did it like
on a road rules one because there's a woman from
Israel who had never didn't understand baseball. They just sent
her all over the park trying to find the key
to back. So like you know, jokes like that. That's like, oh,
they're sending the poor guy to go to get the
key to the batting cage. Wait, why didn't he come back? Right?
Know where did he come back? Oh?

Speaker 2 (35:12):
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean there's all sorts of things
like that. And again, you know, why stop with it
just being sports horror? Why not make it sports horror action?
Like why not imagine sudden death but at a baseball park,
right and instead of the bad guy being like a
wealthy industrialist or whatever he wants to do, you know,

(35:33):
she's the park to smile and drug whatever. What's the
plot of sudden that? Like the powers Booth is trying
to do something?

Speaker 3 (35:39):
The hell was powers Booth doing? Yeah, I haven't seen.
It's funny because it's like my one of my favorites,
like probably one of my favorite He fights forever. Yeah,
the woman in the Penguins. I mean that's you're fighting
a mascot. I mean one of the greatest exploding helicopters
in the history of movies.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Incredible Peter Hyams. We've had him on the show. It's
a phenomenal guy. Made some of N's best films in
my opinion. But no, so why not make it that
What if there's ah, what if there's the like, so
if the ghost is like this big, aggressive old timer guy.

(36:16):
What if there's a guy who sort of he left
the Yankees about ten years ago or left whatever baseball team.
I'm sorry, I'm watching the Yankees because they're playing Game two.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
With right now.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. There were three nil for the
almost the whole game and now they're three to two.
Soon managed to get two runs. But no, so no,
I was going to say, was imagine that's going on
World Series game like this one killer in the ballpark
and a guy who once he left the baseball team

(36:46):
succumb to drink and drugs, had just got on the
wagon and was just like trying to put his life
back together, but he was still pretty raw and he's
the one that has to step up. And McClain's style
fight this GHOSTI zombie because you could put all my
favorite genres in one movie. You could, you know what

(37:09):
I mean? You could make it a sports movie, a
horror movie, in an action movie and you wouldn't even
have to bend the genres that much. Like it all
fits pretty well together. You've got a built in a
plot with whoever's gonna win the game, so you have
to make it like a super tense game. Maybe it's
like the Cubs in the World Series, like the underdog
forever and this is their like only chance, do you

(37:30):
know what I mean? Like you've got a yeah, and
I'm not crazy, because let's not forget that. John Cusack
made a movie in which playing classical piano like it
was basically like die Hard in a classical recital, Like
that was a movie, like it was a horror movie
about a guy having to play a piece perfectly, and

(37:52):
if you didn't play it perfectly, the whole place would explode.
It was like speed on pianos, like if you want,
if you want you know, chowpat, but it's really like, oh,
any minute now, everyone could die. There is a movie,
I'm not kidding. It's it's totally two called Grand Piano,
and the plot of it is that he has to
play the piece completely correct or the entire auditorium blows up. Listen.

(38:16):
If you can make that fucking movie, you can make
ghost zombie baseball killer in the park on a World
Series game, having to be defeated by a slightly over
the hill slugger who had had some issues with alcohol
but was now on the mats, and maybe he gets
his wife back. At the end of the movie, his
team wins, his wife sees him, he delivers the and

(38:39):
then it just everyone. She runs up the steps hugs him.
The team's one, he's won, the guy's been vanquished. And
then of course, right at the very end, it pans
all the way down, all the way down, all the
way down through the dugout and da da da da
to a little like basket of balls or something, and
then we just see like a ghost and shoot out

(39:01):
of the balls and then the movie ends.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
It's so like it.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
Oh, I want to watch that movie.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
I see Thomas Jane and the lead. Yes, Thomas Jane
because he's perfect aging baseball player, right, like he's got
all what you want from an agent.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Is fifty one with Billy? Is it? Billy Crystal and.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Bila Kris at least directed it? But yeah, I think
you're right, Yeah, sixty one sixty one right because it
was the asterisk.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
Oh, I thought it was fifty one.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
Yes, because it's Roger Merris. Right, he had the sixty
sixty one home game the asterisk because because he did it,
he had more heat, he did it more games, it
was a bigger season.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
Okay, So yeah, Maru was Yeah. Well because way back
when we did Yeah It's sixty one, yeah TV movie
with yeah, Billy Crystal and Thomas Jane, uh and a
bunch of other people. But we did an episode of
the podcast where we watched sixty one and forty two.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
I think, oh, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
Because that had just come out, the Horrison for movie
about Jackie Wilson. Yeah. But yeah, So I don't know, dude,
I'm feeling I'm trying to I'm trying to quash middle age.
I'm looking forward though, for a good midlife crisis, like
I really am. I think I'm going to shave my
head and get a bunch of tattoos or something. I'm
looking forward to, like going whacked out for my.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Speaking of Van Dam, you got to go to Antwerp, right,
because it's a double team right where.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Yes, yes, I'm going to go to Antwerp because apparently
Antwerp is the sedius, sexiest, most leather wearing town in Europe.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
So I think it's been like twenty seven years. I
have a feeling that Antwerp. It would be great if Antwerp,
like in the late nineties, you know, world it was
just all like leather bars and intestin.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
I mean I think it was. I think that's why
Van Dam filmed that sequence there, because I believe that
was really filmed in Antwerp and not just three empty
doorways on a Hollywood lot. Now I'm really looking forward
to a midlife crisis. But I also think I'm trying
to go forward with as much zen like. It's not optimism.
I'm still the cynic at heart. I still am like

(41:06):
wow at all end tomorrow, But I don't know, I'm
a little more. I tell you what I'm really enjoying.
I'm really enjoying being able to watch anything. There was
a whole period of time where I was like, I'm
not going to move for that, not going the move
for that. I'm not going to move for that. And
I ended up watching the same five films over and
over again and cursing anyone who liked anything different to me.

(41:26):
And I'm sorry about that era of people. But now
I'm watching all sorts of stuff. Dude. I'm watching stuff
that I wouldn't have watched before and I'm enjoying it.
And I'm watching a ton of modern horror stuff that
I'm really enjoying. And I'm going to give the Terrify
franchise and go why not, why not come on out?
I might even watch a Rob Zombie movie steady on John,

(41:46):
but I might. I might even support Eli Roth's right
to keep making movies again. No, I'm not gonna do that.
That's not Please start making movies, Eli Roth. But I'm
all for this new wave in mad horror, and I
think it's going to usher in a new age until
about January sixth, and then we're all fucked. But whoever wins,

(42:07):
whoever wins, if it hasn't happened between November sixth and
January sixth, then I would be surprised. Like if I
creep into February being like really like everyone just accepted this, okay, good,
then then I'll be okay. But but I'm not holding
out hope for that.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
No, it is it is one of those things where
it's like mentally, it's like, man like this, Yeah, we
don't know what this thing's gonna look like.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
But I think that I keep seeing the sun through
the clouds, like I keep seeing whether it's the horror
thing or whether it's the you know, more people going
solo in my area, or more people in electric cars
in my area, or the expansion of like Pride and
lgbdq IA, plus protections in our schools and things like that.

(42:58):
I'm very hap and we want to keep doing that. Also,
with the proliferation of the Yankees and the Maple Leafs
winning games, I think I want to see pollutilation of that. Also, Hollywood,
get on my baseball Slasher. The only thing is I
would make it tomorrow, but you would need a ballpark

(43:19):
and at least either cgi people or thousands or enough
people to fill up a section even if you moved
those people to make this stadium look more full than
it was. I would still need at least like a
couple of hundred people to fill some chests, and I
just don't have that. So unfortunately, it is not something
where people can just be like, well, John, you go
make that movie. Sure, I could make that movie at

(43:41):
like a Little League park in New Milford, but it's
not the same.

Speaker 3 (43:45):
Thing exactly exactly now.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
And let's bring it around to the two movies that
we picked this week, Matt, because again we've been sort
of we have decided that going forward, we're going to
do a couple of movies an episode, and we're going
to do movies that both movies I really should have
seen for one reason or earlier, whether it's a director

(44:09):
or actor, makeup, effects person, whatever, like oh I should
have seen that Tom Savini movie, or oh I should
have seen that Donald Pleasants movie, or oh I should
have seen that Kurt Russell film. Whatever it is, if
they're an actor or a director, or a special person,
a soundtrack artist, whatever, if I haven't seen that film
and I really should have done, because I've seen so

(44:29):
many other movies. We're going to cover one of those
and then the other thing we're going to do is
delve into our VHS abyss. That comes out of the
fact that I started this video store, be Kind Movie Vault,
and I'm rapping I'm wrapping that T shirt tonight, Matt.
Do you know why because the Mayor Pete Bass of

(44:49):
our town near Milford came around this morning to be
Kind Movie Vault and we filmed a segment for his
social media. So I'm about to be on Mayor Pete
Basses media. I'm about to get as I told him
to his face, I said, I'm about to get the
mayor bass bump and he said, oh, I like that
the Mayor bass bump, And without without missing a beat,

(45:12):
I went, you can have that. That one's free.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
Now.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Unfortunately, the cameras weren't rolling when we had that back
and forth. That would have been a great way to stay,
you know, on like the the you know, Sean Penn
goes through his movie career for Variety or whatever videos
on YouTube, there's always like a clip before they go
into the timeline of his career, whatever the meme is, uh,
there's always a clip of him being like, oh, really

(45:40):
I was in that movie or whatever. There's always like
a pre credit clip sequence. It would have been really
good if the mayor bass bump joke that we had
back and forth, where I said, you know, oh you
can have that, that's free, that would have been a
great pre credit, like a pre bass bump bump, you
know what I mean. It would have been a yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
That's like when you watched the documentary and they show
up the subject coming to sit down, yes, and they're
kind of like, is it do you want me to
sit here? This is good? Yeah, yeah, you're fine, Okay,
all right, what do we want to talk about the
fact that you killed thirty people?

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (46:14):
Okay, yeah, and then it's like kind of the zoom
in on their face there.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yeah, yeah, the fact that you're involved in eighty eight
counts of murder, rape, and extortion before your twenty fifth birthday.
So oh that old thing anyway, But no, he interviewed
me today. I rambled like an idiot, but I was
wearing my beacone T shirt. So yes. Speaker Movie Volt

(46:39):
is a video store that I've opened up in New Milford, Connecticut.
The best town in these United States, it's not, you know.
I love love love Pittsburgh, I love New York City,
I love Philadelphia, there's plenty of places. I love New Milford.
To me, though, I feel like there is a part
of me. And again, maybe this is the middle aged
man of creeping in. I don't know, but I think

(47:02):
you should fucking love where you live. I just think
you should fucking love where you live. And I get
that everyone doesn't have the fucking luxury to do that.
I get that there are people who live in really
horrible fucking things, but hopefully most people love where they live.
Hopefully most people do not look around, even if you
live in the projects or a dust ball somewhere, or
somewhere that's extraordinarily poor, or god forbid, if you've lost

(47:23):
your home in one of these horrible, horrible, horrible storms,
and I feel for you, and I've donated to you,
and I hope that you get yourself back on your feet.
But I also hope that the reason to rebuild an Ashville,
North Carolina is because you fucking love Ashville, North Carolina.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
For all its points and formals.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
I don't know why it's important, but it seems to
be important. And I like walking around New Milford. When
I bring friends to New Milford, I like showing off
New Milford it feels good, and listen, I'm not beating
up any I Like if someone from Brookfield or bridge
Water next door show up and it's like, well I
think Brookfield's better, I'd be like, all right, I did good.

(48:05):
I'd slap on the back and move on. I'm not
fighting anyone over New Milford, but I do love New
Milford and I and the mayor of New Milford, Mayor
Pete Bass, is a hilarious man. He is a hilarious
man because he is, first of all, he's wonderfully bearded,
wonderfully bedded, spectacularly Greek body hair like you wouldn't believe.

(48:28):
I mean, really a hairy man in the best way.
But to extend it so, he was a wrestler in
high school, and I think he's always felt that. You know,
small towns are all that Bruce Springsteen song Glory Days,
that's what. But you have to be The thing that
that song misses out is that sometimes that's okay. It's
okay to have had a moment where you felt you

(48:50):
were in your glory. Some people have no moments at all.
It's also okay to be fat and over the hill
and propping up a bar in some small town. That's okay.
That is success, you know what I mean. You didn't
kill anyone, you didn't shit on anyone, you hopefully didn't
rape anyone, and you're just sitting propping up a bar,
a little overweight, drinking a drink because you've had a

(49:11):
hard day at work and it's absolutely fine. That's it's
absolutely fine. Glory days are absolutely fine. But Pete Basses
and I love Pete Bass, I love Mayor Bass. He
is the walking epitome of like Gloria days. Because I understand,
like in the fifties when someone would have a packet
of cigarettes and they would roll up their T shirt
sleeve to put a packet of cigarettes in. And then

(49:36):
I understand that there are items of clothing called tank tops.
What I don't understand is why anyone, like when you
see these people who roll up their T shirt sleeves,
right they do this, they roll up their T shirt sleeves.
I'm like, first of all, it's not making you any cooler,
and secondly, stop trying to show off your guns, as
if anyone really gives a fire. I always like to
drive bass when I see someone that go nobody cares.

(49:59):
There was a I, where are we driving the other day?
And there was just a oh no. We were at
a waterfall hike in upstate New York when we went
to this weekend music festival and we went for a
waterfall hike, and out of nowhere there was a shirtless
guy in tiny shorts on a BMX, riding perilously up

(50:21):
and down on the slippery rocks above the waterfall and
like doing it in a way where he was like,
I don't care that you're looking at me, but keep
looking at me. I want you to look at me,
but I don't care that you're looking at me. And
as I walked past him before I went out to
the car park and we drove away, I just as
we walked past him, I just looked at him and went,

(50:42):
nobody cares me. Nobody cares. I don't know, I don't
know what you're trying to prove, but nobody cares. You
might think they care because they're all like looking at you,
but really they're looking at you, going like I hope
he fucking falls and cracks his head open, because then
this trip around, this hiking you know, this hiking trip,
a fucking waterfall in the middle of New York will

(51:03):
be worth it because I will have seen some fucking
twazak on a BMM b BMX bike fucking dive over
fucking cravats into a watery and stony grave. That because
he was cycling up and down like a fucking tit
in speedo sized fucking denim shorts with you know, eighty

(51:25):
five fucking abs and multiple like arm muscles. Nobody like,
nobody cares. I don't know how to stop these people
and go. You care like you care, but nobody else cares.
Him walking around with his shirt off would be like
me setting up a booth in the middle of the
town and talking loudly about movies through a megaphone, just

(51:48):
going like, I like movies. Why do you like that?
I like movies because they've got action and whatever, because
movies are something that means something to me. Yeah, right,
Him working out and getting a toned physique means something
to him. He's fuck all to anyone else. Everyone else
wishes he would die because he's just making everyone else
feel bad about themselves, right, Everyone else is just like, oh,

(52:11):
I could have that body if I didn't, you know,
have to work earn money. If I wasn't forced to
eat the cheapest foods in the supermarket and therefore end
up eating foods with a higher fat, sugar, salt, and
arsenic content than most other foods. You know, if I
deprived myself of happiness sanity hours in the day, if

(52:32):
I didn't sleep, if I got up at five in
the morning, sure I could have that physique. I could
have that physique for five minutes until someone went, John,
do you want a donut? And then immediately the physique
would hit my knees again. I could totally fucking have that.
Of course I can have that. I don't want to
have that because it sounds awful, It sounds like such masturbatory,

(52:55):
nonsensical gibberish. But if you want to do it, go
ahead and do it. I'm not judging people who do it.
But then, don't fucking show up with a BMX in
a public place and ride up and down demanding people
look at your fucking abs. Put a shirt on and
have some self cocking respect. Nobody needs to needs to
see your nipples on a dewey Sunday morning, nobody, not

(53:16):
even you. So put a shirt on, right, get off
your fucking bike. It's to hiking trail. It's like, I
can't tell you, Matt, the number of people while I
was hiking. This is true. We were hiking around a
hiking trail near a fucking waterfall, hiking. It's a hiking
trailer waterfall. The number of bikes who didn't even have
a fucking bell on that just came whizzing through and

(53:36):
they would just go behind you, but they would do
it like kind of like mohamma, and you wouldn't hear
what they said. And then the next thing you know,
you're getting buzzed by some fucking cock goblin on a
on a bike. I just, ah, is there anyone more
wretched than bikers? I think cyclists are more wretched than vegans.
What do you think?

Speaker 3 (53:57):
Well, I have to confess that I was one in
in Portsmouth in New Hampshire. I know I cycled a lot.
But here in Philly it is part.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Of it is podcast is over.

Speaker 3 (54:08):
Part of the issue is here in Philly because driving
is so aggressive. People on bikes right on the sidewalk
and they just are constantly zipping by. And so it's
like anytime I start to hear a faint chain in
the background, I've got to look for where that thing's
coming from and and move out of the way.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Oh, I want them to hit me because I want
to sue that fucking ass back to the Stone Age,
like an American would, Matt. I don't know. That's my
one American thing. I wouldn't like if someone, you know,
if there was a legitimate accident and legitimate problem, I'd
be like, look, shit happens. Would be fine. But if
a cyclist hits me, Matt on a sidewalk, oh, you
better know, I'm suing that guy back to his fucking infancy.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
I don't know if i'd get any money at him,
I don't know, but yeah, it's it's I would.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Toil the end of that life.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
But I think on a hiking trope even worse because
it's like, yeah, get your bikes off the hiking trail.
It's yeah. I like, like for me when I was
when I was when I was bike, I mean, part
of it was that I was using it to get
back and forth to work, you know, because I don't
drive and all that stuff, and so so I was
like doing that, and then I was like kind of
building up to like longer rides and things like that.
But yeah, like riding on the sidewalk. If I was

(55:18):
on the sidewalk in downtown Ports with New Hampshire, which
is another great town you're talking about good towns. It
used to be used to be a great town. I
think it's it's a little bit messy now because it's
like how built up it is and everything. But yeah,
I did get off the bike and I was walking. Yeah,
I just get off the bike and walk it. And
I'm not going to ride past people on the sidewalk there.
I don't need to do that. But yeah, I mean,
like here, Philly, I stopped the moment I moved down here,

(55:39):
I stopped doing it because I was like, I can't
ride with these cars here, and I'm not going to
ride on the sidewalk.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
And I'm trust I trust you, Matt. I feel like
I know you well enough that you would not, inconvenience
or god for bit, hurt other humans who were using
the sidewalk or the hiking trail for its intent purpose
foot walking. I would assume that you would assess the

(56:06):
amount of people on the trail, assess whether you could
safely pass them at speed or not, and then, if not,
get off the bike and walk the bike through the
people and then get back on the bike and ride.
I would assume you would be that person of a
and a lot of people who are like, wow, you
go on and above. No, that's not on and above.
That's just normal human fucking behavior. It's not on and above.

(56:30):
It's not It doesn't make you a great person and
make you a mappers. It just makes you a human being.
How we should all fucking behave on this planet. Yeah,
I mean that's.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
That's the reality of our existence now, is that if
you just are a human, if you just do like
what humans do, it's like considered on it above. Oh
it's yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
I see you on Instagram all the time, like he's
the best father, and it shows him playing with a
kid and reading the kid a book and like feeding
the kid, and I'm like, no, no, that's just father. That's
just the fact that we all had such atrociously shitty
fathers and shitty mothers. If we're all fucking honest with ourselves,
I know where mother suddenly became this fucking saintly occupation.

(57:13):
Most mothers I've ever met are fucking awful, but at
being mothers. They might be great at being humans, but
they're fucking awful at being mothers, which explains our generation
and every generation that's come since we are all. I mean,
if you want to know where all these therapists came from,
it's because we all had fucking shitty parents. Now I
don't disagree, like, maybe all parents should be in some

(57:36):
way shitty. Maybe that's why we got off the couch,
get out the house, and make our own fucking life,
because we're like, I'm not hanging around with these fucking
goons any longer. I'm gonna I'm gonna go out and
forge my own way in the world. Maybe that's the
cycle of evolution that should be happening, Matt, and I'm
not against that. However, we did all have shitty parents,

(57:57):
which is why we all took up podc That's exactly
the reason why shitty parentage has led us to podcasting
and staving off suicide with salty and sweet snacks. And
how dare you judge us for doing otherwise? Yes? So, then,
but then we start seeing stuff on Instagram where it's like,
you know, oh, he's he's so good because he holds

(58:18):
a hand as they crossed the road on their way
to school. No, no, that's just specificated, and yet somehow
it's now elevated. However, we have over compensated with this
thing about mothers. Again. I'm not going to go.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
Into a mom life hashtag mom life, hashtag mom life.
Yeah right, I'm not going to go a millennial thing.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
It is well, it's what it is, Matt, it's it's
it's a way to And this is ironic, right, this
is ironic because most people who are hashtag mumlife would
probably consider themselves I would guess left of center or
at least center. I wouldn't. I don't think hashtag mum
life is like a right leaning thing. I think it's

(58:59):
a feminist, left cleaning thing. I think, I think and
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
It's a conservative because there's like a whole like hobby lobby.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
Oh yeah, the hockey. Well, there's a there's the hockey mom. Yeah,
I guess, so maybe moms are more republican.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
There's both, there's both, there's yeah, there's definitely both.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
Well, they want to censor everything as well, they don't.
Moms want to central this ship.

Speaker 3 (59:21):
Yeah, there's there's a there's a there's an element of
moms that, like you say, like moms for book banning
books or something. They're called. I don't know if they're
you know, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
This terrible. I go back to my original statement, moms
are terrible. Fuck all these groups, mums for whatever, moms
for another. Oh no, this was the irony of it.
So some people want to go back to the fifties
paradigm where one person works and one person stays at home.
Let me allow you a guess of what genitals the

(59:51):
person who stays at home has and the person who
has to like clean the house and keep the children whatever. Now,
being a housewife, that was a fucking job. That was
a fucking job. That was my grandmother. Like, she raised
fucking three children, She learned how to fucking cook everything
under the sun. She kept a pristine clean house. She

(01:00:13):
used to dine and sew and all that stuff my
grandfather's clothing. So like, yeah, she earned her stripes and
then some like over and over again. I'm not I
will never ever say that that wasn't work, but hashtag
mom life over some mimosas and some brunch while your
kid balls in the fucking chair next to you, and

(01:00:35):
you go, oh, at this age, you know, it's the
terrible twos that they're crying. No, it's because you've taken
them out for fucking girly brunch and you're paying them
zero bits of attention. Hashtag mom life, hashtag mimosa, hashtag
go fuck your children. But I just I'm just saying, uh,
not everyone gets points for everything. I'm just saying, yeah,

(01:00:57):
what about this. When you see in a supermarket not one,
but two parents and they've brought their kids with them,
and I go, no, no, no, the man or the woman.
I don't care which one or the man or the
man or the woman and the woman or the or
the trans nondescript gender person and the trans nondescript gender
pert binary, whatever it is. Whoever, the two people are,

(01:01:22):
one of you stay at home with the kids and
one of you go shop. That's how the shit works, right.
One person goes off and hunts the ball, and the
other one tends to the kids and the fire back
in the cave. That's how the it just it is.
And before people are like, well that's a very narrow mind,
it's not. I don't care what gender you are, what
type of relationship you have, what kind of love you do.

(01:01:42):
I don't care what kind of sex you have. I
don't care who you vote for. I don't care what
clothes you wear, I don't care what toilet you use,
and I don't care what sports teams you support.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
But I do care that if you are.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Caring for a younger version of yourself, whether that was
through sexual intercourse IVF, or you adopted, or you had
a surrogate, or however you had that kid, if you
are looking after a kid, make sure one of you
is looking after the kid. End of story. Don't all
four of you try and take up my fucking supermarket

(01:02:15):
lane at fucking four point thirty in the afternoon where
I'm like, no, no, bitch, I'm shopping. What the fuck
is your entire family screaming and running around and throwing
stuff and I want this chocolate and blah blah blah
blah blah. What on earth? Also, adult life is so tedious?
Why on earth would you want to introduce your children

(01:02:39):
to a world of mundanity and fucking cereal aisles that
never end because they're like, we found a way to
put eighty eight different types of sugar and coloring and
other toxins on corn loops or hoops or whatever you want.
To call them, so, why do you want to bring

(01:03:00):
your child? Like, don't I would want children? People always like, wow,
you know I want want my child to be a child. Fine,
then let them be a fucking child. I don't. Letting
them be a child is not like having them in
a sling around your neck while you know, you discussed
tiny coffees with someone named Marjorie, Like this is this
is like fucking parenting one oh one. Love your kid,

(01:03:23):
and I tell you what. All these people who are
like wow, sanctity of humanity and the great children whatever.
Five minutes into the pandemic they were like, when can
I get rid of my child? My child is driving
me nuts. I'm like, have you tried loving them? Have
you tried maybe prioritizing them over your bullshit job that
somehow think is more important than your own fucking flesh

(01:03:44):
and blood. Have you tried doing that? Or is it
just there was the famous newscaster when he was on
BBC News.

Speaker 3 (01:03:51):
Oh right, yes, and the sun the kid walks in.

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
Wait and his son walks into whatever, and two things happen, which,
first of all, he started to do this to his
child and pushing him out the way, and then the
second thing a woman. I don't know whether it was
the nanny or the wife or whoever was.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Because I think the backstory was that was comes.

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
Running in and starts grabbing, like forcibly, grabbing the children's
arms and dragging them out of the room. And I'm like,
what did I just watch? On? Did I just watch
someone who was on the news, the news that's meant
to be a factual TV show deny the existence of
being a parent live on TV. Wouldn't it have been

(01:04:31):
much nicer if he'd gone, Oh, I'm sorry, my son's
come in. This is Bobby by the way, Say hello everyone, Bobby,
all right, thanks Bobby, go back to mummy now or whatever, like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
I'm not sad at.

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
Home being like, finish whatever bullshit opinion you have, and
I don't want your children on the picture. It would
actually be something I might care about if.

Speaker 3 (01:04:50):
Your kid came in there. Yeah, what's like like my
my my manager. You know, she's in Switzer, you know,
you know, she works from homesome home. Sometimes she's in
the office there in Switzerland and she'll be, you know,
on a call. It's like, oh, you know one of
her kids is homesick. That day and so that the
child will come in and you know, and it kind of,
you know, like you said, it kind of annoys her

(01:05:11):
because she doesn't want to be dealing with it, you know.
She's like, Okay, I've got I have to be a
parent though, But it's like you're a parent, you know.
It's fine. It's not like I'm not going to learn
what I need to learn from our conversation that we're having,
you know, about what tasks you need me to carry
out or think what our next plan of action is
for certain things. I'm gonna get it all, you know.
I think there's almost like an apologetic part of it,
like I'm so sorry that I'm bothering you, you know,

(01:05:32):
And and to be honest, it's it's not intrusive. I
think it could be intrusive for sure, right, Like it
could get to a point where like if she was
just like, yep, my kids are running around and it's
great and everything like that. But it's like this is
like a one off situation where your child's home, you know,
And so I think that that's kind of where like
you said, like you know, it's like there's sort of
like the two elements of it but like like that
guy in that situation was a one off situation where

(01:05:53):
his child ran in the room, right, And it's not
like every time he's on the BBC doing a thing
that somebody went, you know, this kid runs it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
So here's here's the thing, here's here's my line. When
offices were up and running and we were all in
the offices, and that was the only paradigm, right, that
was the only choice that we had was office bound,
person enough to exist, but not person enough to leave, right,
or have any kind of life that we want to have.
So what would happen occasionally, especially if someone on the

(01:06:26):
team had a new baby or whatever, they would bring
the baby in. I don't know whether they would announce
it or not announce it, but suddenly there would be
a baby in the office, right, and everything would stop,
like all work would stop, and people would start cooing
over the baby and John, did you get a picture
with the baby? And did you see the baby? And whatever?
And I would be like twofold, First of all, don't

(01:06:49):
bring your baby into an office. It's the supermarket rule.
It's adult life. It's boring, it's tedious, it's beige, it's
it's not interesting. It's the rose and rose and rose
of sugary corn cereals that all taste the same but
all have different branding. That is sitting in an office
all day in cubicles with people named Nigel who you
loathe and want to hit with a shoe. That's adult

(01:07:12):
life to some extent, not always, but to some extent. Don't.
First of all, don't bring your child in and around
that scenario. It is so irresponsible because you are immediately
being like child. This is what you have to look
forward to. This is all you will ever achieve, is
this level of mundane insanity. First of all, there's that.

(01:07:34):
Second of all, I don't care about your child. So
here's the difference, right, I don't give a fuck about it.
Don't bring your child into work and be like I
demand you use some kind of polite society to say that.
I someone who's working at work in an office, not
a plate group, not a chuck e cheese, not a hospital,

(01:07:57):
not a school yard, at an office in Manhattan, why
is there a baby at my desk? And there'd be
a demand on me for me to stop what I'm
doing to pay attention to your child, because get guess
what the people who bring their children into the office.
It's not about the children, It's about them. They want
to be like, look I made a thing, Look I

(01:08:19):
did something with my life. You don't have one of these.
This is a status symbol. That's why I fucking hate it, Matt.
I hate people forcing their children on me. However, if
you choose to have children, and if we are going
to live in what is essentially no more than a
glorified tribal community, we have to We all know that

(01:08:43):
we have sex, we all know that sex produces a child,
and we all know that adults have children, right, we
all know that children exist on the planet. We all
know the purposes of children and who how children's come about.
So why if we were on a so quote unquote
adult television program and a child somehow gets into that scenario.

(01:09:06):
Are we all meant to pretend that that child doesn't exist,
that child fully exists, And not only that, we know
that that child is that child of that person that
we are talking to, let us at least see a
little bit of their humanity. So on one hand, and
again with the pandemic thing, I'm like, have you tried
loving your child? Have you tried loving a child right,

(01:09:28):
instead of being like oh. And secondly, if you don't
want to love your child, demand from whatever person you
vote for in Congress that teachers get paid a lot more,
because if you don't want to look after your kid, right,
and you don't want to have to deal with your kid,
then at least vote for the people who will pay
the teachers of Liverpool wage who do look after your children.

Speaker 3 (01:09:49):
Because you don't want to look after your children because it's.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
All about you, and you had children as a status symbol,
not because you actually had any interest in being a
fucking parent. So that's where I draw the line, right,
And so on one hand, I care very much about
the child, and I want the child to have a glorious, childish,
inspired and creative upbringing where they're not burdened by the

(01:10:14):
mondanity of the outside world. And at the same time,
don't bring your child into my world because I don't
care about your child. I chose not to have a child.
So you know, I do genuinely want to talk about
these films because they are two films that I think
are at least worth talking about for two different reasons. So,
as I was saying earlier. The first movie of our

(01:10:35):
pairing is always the movie that stars someone or is
made by someone who I really like and really should
have seen this movie. Well, the first movie up is Troll.
That is from nineteen eighty six, the John Carl Beekler
movie that stars Michael Moriarty. But interestingly, the reason why

(01:10:56):
I even sat down to watch this was that, again
I was getting vhs in for my store. One of
the vhs that I got in was Troll, and on
the VHS cover, Michael Moriarty's name is much more prominent.
I have the Eureka release that has both Troll and
Troll two on it, and I got that because I

(01:11:18):
was like, well, you know, everyone talks about Troll two
is the worst movie ever. I should at least like
see it. Oh, it comes to Troll one, great, fantastic.
So I got that Blu ray a while ago and
had it sitting on my shelf. I had no idea
Michael Moriarty was in Troll. I am a huge Michael
Moriarty fan, absolutely huge. I think it's worked with Larry Cohen,

(01:11:39):
is absolutely fantastic, and I couldn't believe that he was
in another genre film outside of like Larry Cohen stuff.
So whenever I see Michael Moriarty's name, I'm like, oh,
put that on a fucking list. So I came to Troll,
even though, as I said, I've owned the Eureka disk
for a while and never watched it. And I knew
it was a John Carl bigl movie, but I did

(01:11:59):
not know that Michael Mariotti was in it. I got
the VHS and was putting it out at my store
and went, wait, Michael Mariotti's in Troll. So that's how
I came to the movie. Matt, how about yourself?

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
So I thought I had seen this before, because you know,
I saw Troll too, like you said, I like yourself.
I watched it for the site, however, many years ago,
and I thought I watched the first Troll to, you know,
sort of just just to see it, even though the
two aren't connected at all. But when I watched this,
I realized I hadn't seen it before. I didn't remember

(01:12:32):
any of the what I was seeing here, especially like
Julie lut Trefus with her husband Brad Hall before they
were married, and you know, I remember seeing him on
Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes and here here he is in
a younger version of a member's only jacket. I would
have definitely remembered, you know, Andy Travis from w KR
PEK Gary Sandy is the actor there, And of course,
like you said, Michael Moriarty, you know I always lived

(01:12:53):
him on lot an order as well. He's a fun actor.
So I realized very quickly that I hadn't seen this
movie before, even though the concepts and some of the
things that were in the movie I'd heard people talk
about in places, but I'd never actually seen the film.
So this is the first time watch for me as well.

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
Yeah, I had no idea Julia Louis Dreyfus was in
it either. And it's always funny because it is remarkable
how often you come across a horror movie or a
genre movie, or a B movie or what an exploitation movie,
whatever you want to call it, that has a before

(01:13:30):
they were famous actor in it. Almost every actor has
done their time in horror movies or exploitation movies. And
there are two types of people in the world. There
are the Helen Hunts of the world and there are
the Sadly, because I do love her as a comedian
Julia Louis Dreyfus is the world. And what I mean

(01:13:51):
by that is when Helen Hunt was asked to come
back for Trance's three, Helen Hunt came back for Trance three.
When Helen Hunt has been asked about Trance's she has
only ever been happy and complimentary and proud of Trances.
Julia Louis driver Is, on the other hand, wants nothing

(01:14:13):
whatsoever to do with Troll, much of the same way
that Jennifer Aniston, another woman who I greatly admire and
think is a fine actor, wants nothing to do with Leprechorn.
I'm like, own up to that shit. Clooney is totally
fine to admit that he did Return of the Killer Tomatoes,
as he should be, by the way, because it's a
great movie and it's a funk site better than Red Surf,

(01:14:35):
which Tarantino went on and on about as being Clooney's
best early role. Redserf is one of the worst fucking
movies ever made ever. I've watched it and I've never
wanted to gouge my eyes out more.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
Right, Yeah, I wonder because it's funny, you know now
that the big one now, of course, is Sidney Sweeney,
and you know, she has one of those lifetime The
Wrong Daughter movie from twenty eighteen, right, and I wonder
if it's gonna be a similar like I feel like
with her that she probably would be more likely to

(01:15:08):
embrace that she did a movie like that. Well, I
don't see.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
I don't know much about her, right, I genuinely really don't.
I mean, I believe she was from that Euphoria series
that I of noise about.

Speaker 3 (01:15:21):
I haven't seen that one either.

Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
Yeah, I've never seen it, but I've had a lot
of noise about it. If you if you hate the journey,
you don't deserve where you've ended up. That's that's what
I think. You shall always love the journey.

Speaker 3 (01:15:33):
Yeah, I mean I think unless it was a bad
experience on the movie, that's one thing. But I mean, like,
I don't think Julia Louis Dreyfus had a bad experience.
I mean, yes, I guess there's parts about control probably
that weren't the most fun. But yeah, I think because
I heard like Jay Leno brought it up on the
time that she was and she scowled at him like
she just didn't you know, And it's like all right,
get over yourself, you know, seriously, like what's your you know,

(01:15:56):
and now you're doing Thunderbolts. It's like, okay, so a
Marvel movie. Well, because yes, I get it, it's a
bigger production. You're gonna get a huge paycheck for it.
I'm sure all all that jazz. But it's like like
this movie troll. I mean, yes, I'm gonna I'm gonna
go see Thunderbolts in the theater. Hopefully I'll enjoy myself.
We'll see.

Speaker 2 (01:16:14):
I don't know what that is. So I'm not even
as Thunderbolt.

Speaker 3 (01:16:17):
It's a Marvel movie. It's got like kind of like
the tangential batties from like like Winter Soldier. Yep, what
is not Black Widow but her Lena Below or whatever
whatever her character's name was, who's like the sister of
the Black Widow. She's in it. That Florence Pugh, Yeah exactly, yeah, yeah,

(01:16:40):
So those kind of characters Task Masker, Olga Carolinko. So
like it's almost like their version of the Suicide Squad.
That's what the movie is going to be. But Juliu
Luth Dreyfus is in that movie, and it's like, okay,
you're doing a Marvel movie. You can't frown on troll anymore.
That's it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:55):
I'm with you on that, sir, and I agree with
that assumption. Troll is as much a product of the
machine that makes Avengers movies and Marvel movies as it
is its own thing. So troll it is. It is,
baff I don't even know how to explain it other

(01:17:16):
than there are trolls in a brownstone that slowly either
kill people or turn them into wood nymphs. Right right,
And the director, John Carl beakler is play is immortalized
in this large portrait that humorously hangs over all the

(01:17:37):
pictures because one of the people, one of the women
who lives.

Speaker 3 (01:17:40):
In one of the apartments, is a witch, right Juwe
Lockhart from the old Lassie.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
Right, and her now long dead wizard husband is portrayed
by Beakler in a portrait and Bigler. If you just
google John Carl Beikler, okay, look at photographs of John
car big Layer, and then imagine an ornate portrait of
that on your wall, it is as both as glorious

(01:18:06):
and hilarious in equal measure, right, yeah, yeah, Because he's
an odd looking dude. I mean in the best way.
I'm an odd looking dad, but I mean in the
best way. I love big I think Bigler should be
heralded a lot more than than he is, both as
a special effects artist and the director, because I think
the one that look Troll is a bizarre, bumpy, cheesy, weird. Right,

(01:18:32):
it just is, Yes, but it's not it's and and
accepting all of that, it's not a bad film, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:45):
What I mean, Yeah, yeah, it's it. So this is
the kind of movie when it comes to like bad
movies or you know, look, you know these these sort
of low end kind of deals. Like I always have
these two categories where it's like can I watch this
with anybody? Or can I only watch this with certain people?
And I would say that there's nothing in this it's

(01:19:07):
so bad. I mean, I mean, yes, Probably the most
shocking thing is when Sonny Bono turns into Robert Zadar
for a second before he turns into like you.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
It's so Sonny Bono undergoes like a big prosthetic transformation
in hilarious.

Speaker 3 (01:19:26):
Yeah, it's this is the kind of movie that you
can watch with anybody. All right, There's there's nothing so
horrible in it, right, there's no I mean, yes, I
guess that the teen son he gets thrown against the
wall by the daughter, but it's the daughter doing it,
even though the daughter is taken over the troll by
the troll. That's like maybe the most rough thing that
you see in the movies, that the poor kid gets

(01:19:46):
thrown against the wall by his sister.

Speaker 2 (01:19:48):
Yeah, I mean they tour Guy's hot out in Indiana.
Jones is the Temple of Doom, right, And I watched
that at school on a bedsheet in the music room
when we couldn't go out and play sports. It was
raining and they played Temple of Doom and all of
us at like the age of seven, were just like, oh,
he just tore our guy's heart out. I guess that's
something that we've just seen and we all now scarred

(01:20:10):
for the rest of our life on it. By the way,
here's Willy Wonka with Gene Wilder. Halfway through there will
be an absolutely surreal, fucking ayahuasca trip that will feature
the actual decapitation of a chicken in the middle of
a kid's movie. Oh and fucking spooky bugs crawling over

(01:20:30):
ugly men's eyes. It's like some kind of fucking Salvador Dali.
I'm honestly wouldn't have been surprised if in the middle
of that dream sequence as they're going through the tunnel
in the boat in willy Wonka that you hadn't seen
on she and Andelou and had a fucking eyelid cut
open with a razor blade. That would not have surprised

(01:20:50):
me because it was sort of salvad Or Dolly sick
and twisted chip. We watched that as kids. There is
nothing control that comes close to the horrifying nature of
that boat, right.

Speaker 3 (01:21:00):
Or the other thing is that no kids are murdered
in trolls, right right, like like we we wanka, You've
got kids being murdered. It's like I get it that
they they you know, and no amount of like being
brats is worth being murdered being killed.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
Oh I don't know. Some of them were really bad man.

Speaker 3 (01:21:20):
Yeah, I guess you're right, yes, yeah, but I think
like like that's you know.

Speaker 2 (01:21:25):
Well, they don't get murdered, they get deformed, and then
they are promised that they will be re put back together.
So one gets shrunk, one gets turned into a giant blueberry,
and one gets sucked Up a Chocolate pipe, right, which
sounds like a gay porn and it could possibly gets
sucked up a chocolate pipe. I used to play bass
for Sucked Up a Chocolate Pipe. They were a punk

(01:21:48):
band out of Wisconsin, right, but no, I think okay.
And also we have to mention that Michael Mariaty goes
down along with the wonderful Crispin Glover in Friday the
Thirteenth Part four as some of the best dancing in

(01:22:08):
a horror slash creature feature ever seen until the aforementioned
Friday the Thirteenth Part four with Crispin Glover, where it
truly is a body convulsion pie of glorious whipness. It's
such a what was I saying? It's such a glorious

(01:22:31):
body convulsion, you know, pie in the back of the freezer,
just waiting to get heated up again every single year.
Whereas the Michael Moriarty dancing that's out of some left
field right there, that is totally cockeyed right.

Speaker 3 (01:22:48):
Well, and I love that You've got Shelley hack who
was one of the later Charlie's Angels, who has to
make sense of this Moriarty dancing, right, And it's just
like you know, oh, there's a sense of like, you know,
the actors, we have.

Speaker 2 (01:23:03):
To make sense, right, Mariarti starts right.

Speaker 3 (01:23:06):
It's like it's like like there you are, you know,
reacted to Moriarty's dancing, and she's like, I don't know
how to do it. It's like kind of like you know,
speaking of Sidney Sweeney where its Dakota Johnson was in
Bada Web and she's like, I don't know how to
act with the green screen. I've never had to do
this before, like you know how to act anyway? Yes, exactly, exactly,
but yeah, Shelley hacks like, I've never had to act

(01:23:28):
respond to Moriarty before like this. This never happened in
Charlie's Angels.

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
No, we have no idea, I mean, and look, make
no mistake. Mariarti just did that and Bakley kept the
camera rolling. That was like, that was just off the
top of Mariarti's insane head. I would I would refer
people to the island of it to a life which
is into Life three where they're on the boat going

(01:23:54):
to the aforementioned island and out of nowhere. Mariarti starts
to sing a lot on them over the Sea to sky,
the old Scottish sea shanty, and suddenly Larry Cohen is
filming the entire boat singing this sea shanty. You know,
MORIARTI just did that, MORIARTI was just on the boat

(01:24:15):
and started saying, ohver the sea the sky, like he
just started singing it. Oh the boy in the born
to be King or whatever it is. Right, So he's
singing this like sea shanty and everyone just starts joining in,
and you can almost see people like looking back and
then looking at the camera almost to be like, are

(01:24:35):
we doing this? Oh, we're fucking doing this. Mariati's just
starting to fucking impulsive sea shanty and we're all going
along with it. Just deal with it. I feel like
the dancing in this film very much the same way,
where he's like Bigler put a camera in the corner,
high angle, pointed down at me. I'm about to do

(01:24:56):
some body popping like you wouldn't believe.

Speaker 3 (01:24:59):
I think part of it is the outfit, right, I mean,
it's a very dad outfit. It's dad to the power
of flax. And again like Shelley, the way Shelley Hack's
responding to it. It's like she didn't see this in
the script and prepared for it all.

Speaker 2 (01:25:13):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:25:13):
She's just like but.

Speaker 2 (01:25:14):
Because if they've been together twenty years, and when he
was a younger man, he was a you know, punk
scar headbanging doctor Martin boots wearing, you know, down at
cgbg's type person. Great, but she would know that. So
when she saw him convulsing or trying to lay an

(01:25:36):
egg or whatever you call the dancing that Mariarty is
doing in this movie, whatever you call it, and I
call it glorious, I call it triumphant. It is triumphant dancing,
is what it is. But whatever you call it, you
wouldn't be surprised if that's who he was. However, if

(01:25:58):
he had been buttoned down accounting with his v NEX
sweaters and his button down shirts and his plaid slacks
and his dad barred and everything else going on, if
he'd just been mister Dad and then suddenly, out of
nowhere he's putting on punk records and and and thrusting
his hips all over the living room like a like
a skunkn heat, then I would be it would be

(01:26:24):
baffling to me. I'd be like, wait, what just happened.
I know, our daughter's possessed by a troll. Let me
deal with that later. What I want to deal with
right now is what is this dancing? And why is
it happening? Because you either know about it, you're in
your relationship. You've either been with each other long enough
that you know about it that you know it's something
he has in his arsenal that he might whip out

(01:26:44):
at any time, right, or you don't know about it
and it's a new thing that he's trying out. Yeah,
I feel like that the script did not answer either
of these two questions.

Speaker 3 (01:26:55):
No, no, and and it's it's it's the perfect kind
of interlude to the crazy troll stuff that's going on.

Speaker 2 (01:27:04):
Right because the trolls are basically turning every apartment into
a woodland.

Speaker 3 (01:27:08):
Yes, yeah, with these little like claymation kind of stop
animation trolls that are just like kind of appearing out
of nowhere.

Speaker 2 (01:27:16):
And Speaker is the chap that most most people will
know is the man behind the Goolies. And so if
you get somewhat cheap thrills from the child's band Goolies
franchise that features fairly inanimate rubber puppets of not very
realistic demons if you want to see that, but on

(01:27:38):
a like pushed to the ends degree where every apartment
in a fairly sizable brownstone building is overtaken by woodland
nymphs and small immovable rubber puppets. Then Troll well mixed
with what the fuck Moriarty dancing that just comes out
of nowhere, doesn't even come out of left field. Left

(01:27:59):
fields been bypassed. He's bypassed left field, and he's just
come up through a hole in the stage that he
cut himself using a tiny little blade while everyone else
was singing dancing. He's cut his own hole in the
stage and just burst through it with Marianti dancing, and
it's it's it's a glorious thing that he did. And
we have it on film.

Speaker 3 (01:28:22):
Because it with with all the craziness that's going on
in Troll, you wouldn't think that. It's almost like Moriarty
is like, I've got to do something crazier than the crazy,
you know. It's like yeah, like you said, like like
you've got these woodland you know, like like these bronz
Stone apartments being turned into like these woodland you know, creepy.
You know you're getting You know, Sonny Bono is getting
off by a troll.

Speaker 2 (01:28:42):
Uh yeah, Sonny Bono is giving birth to like an
alien troll out of the out of his forearm and
then turning into a giant like pupa like some kind
of bug pupa kind of butt faced so of, I mean,
it's it's it is the art like if Charles Band

(01:29:07):
had never made Troll, and I have to look it
up because I want to know what came first, Troll
or Puppetmaster. I was right, and I know I'm right.
So Troll was eighty six, Puppetmaster is eighty nine.

Speaker 3 (01:29:20):
Oh wow, Okay, so Goolies comes before.

Speaker 2 (01:29:24):
So we can certainly say that without John Carl Biegler
Charles Band's fascination for tiny weird things taking over a
place and or killing people and or turning people into
confectionery in the in the case of Ginger dead Man,

(01:29:48):
where Gary Busey becomes a gingerbread man, see what they
did there. Anyway, Charles Band would ride on the coattails
of Goolies and troll in to the oblivion. I mean
he even took Tim Thomason from the Trances franchise, And
when I wonder what would happen if Tim Thomason was
exactly the same character but small. How about we call

(01:30:10):
him dull Man?

Speaker 3 (01:30:11):
Right? Have Albert Piern directed of all people?

Speaker 2 (01:30:14):
Of course, well you have to get in that, like
you have to. It's just it's the riga. But yeah,
so without Goolies you don't get Troll, and then without Troll,
I don't think you get puppet Master.

Speaker 3 (01:30:25):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, which is you know, I
think it's another good point, right, is that these movies
sort of beget this And so again Julie Louly Dreyfuss
was too cool for this stuff. But I think from
you know that you talked about this sort of this
this movement amongst horror fans to kind of reclaim.

Speaker 2 (01:30:41):
Yeah, I mean, The True is just about to get
a four K fucking release, So you're like, yeah, people
are still fucking watching the Goolies franchise, you know what
I mean, So let's not shoure troll itself. As I said,
got a really nice double disc set from Eureka, both
of them remastered and cleaned up and everything like that,

(01:31:02):
so you can see Michael Moriarty right now, at least
in ten adp dancing like a I mean he epitomizes
whirling dervish. I think, I mean, he really is. And look,
I think that what I love about these Empire productions
of Charles Band that were filmed in Italy and blah
blah blah blah blah. This era that Trances comes out

(01:31:23):
of and reanimated Castle Freak from beyond. Those Stuart Gordon
movies come out of it. The puppet Master franchise comes
out of it, the Goodly Franchise, et cetera, et cetera.
It's a very fertile time for these guys of the
movies that they're putting together. And what I like about
them is that they they they're sort of stream of consciousness,

(01:31:50):
special effects heavy, kind of comic horror, weird films that
you can't really put into a box because on one hand,
you can say, well, Troll isn't really a horror film.
I know that he originally thought about it, as you know,
the troll would actually be stalking people and slashing them,
sort of more like a Leprecorn type type movie. But

(01:32:14):
instead it's that's that's not really what happens. It's more
that the troll is trying to do some magic to
take over the apartment building and get rid of the
witch who am I right, used to be married to
the troll where the troll was human or the troll
was at least humanoid.

Speaker 3 (01:32:32):
Right, yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:32:35):
Okay, so it's all to do with that, and and
really though, it is just an excused to be like, oh,
what's happening in Sonny Bono's apartment. Oh, they're attacking and
turning them into forests and trees and jungles and whatever.
And then there's little kids with little kid goblin troll
things running around and blah blah blah blah, Oh, what's
happening Julia Louis drives his apartment. Oh, she's turned into

(01:32:58):
a wooden infant. She's like tempting her boyfriend into uh,
you know, for him to steal his soul or whatever,
and blah blah blah blah blah. Like it's you go
from apartment to apartment to apartment to apartment kind of
learning all these different stories, and that takes up a
lot of the running time. Uh, the only kind of
consistency through line is the family. Michael Marianti's family, most

(01:33:19):
of all the son's relationship with the Witch, right.

Speaker 3 (01:33:24):
Right, well, because which is a little bit weirdn't know itself,
but I guess, you know, the son just sort of
recognizes that he feels the senses that that she's a
positive force. But well, he also knows that his sister
is not his sister.

Speaker 2 (01:33:38):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:33:39):
Well, that's true too, right, because yeah, he especially realizes
that when he watches a movie about alien abductions, which
I think has Charles Band Like it's supposed to look
like a fifties movie, yes, but it's made especially yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly,
so yeah and and so yeah, like you said, he's
kind of venturing over to her house and then we
we we see that little mush character guy that like

(01:34:01):
is watching her painting.

Speaker 2 (01:34:04):
He's amazing, and she keeps putting like a lambshade on him. Right.
But by the way, so here is a thing about
this movie, a controversy about this movie, a a conspiracy theory.
So the main character in this movie is called Harry Potter. Yes,
and there is a lot about the Witch, the Witch's apartment,

(01:34:28):
the creatures that are in the Witch's apartment, the singing
mushroom character, the trolls and goblins and jungles and various
other things that are very Harry Potter esque. And JK.
Rowling claims to this day left right up down, foolish
fucking turf that she is. She claims that she's never

(01:34:52):
even seen trilogy, had no idea, blah blah blah blah blah.
But I'm sorry when you put the name Harry Potter
and then that's singing mushroom creature together, yeah, it's fucking
Harry Potter. I don't I don't care what she watched
this movie. Now, she already ripped off. I already thought
she was a rip off of Terry Gilliam and a
rip off of Roald Dahl, and a rip off. I mean,

(01:35:14):
she rips everybody off. When Harry Potter first came out
and I read the first book, which is the only
book I've ever read of any of the Harry Potters,
I was like, well, this is just fucking Douglas Adams,
Terry Gilliam and fucking the worst witch and Roald Dahl. Like,
I mean, right off the bat, the aunt and uncle
are like disgusting caricatures. Harry is an orphan they you know,

(01:35:39):
they they torture him. He doesn't get to be Okay, Like,
read every roll Dull book, every Roll Doll book. They
have the evil fucking uncle and aunt or the fuck
and he's a he's an orphan and he's this and
I mean sorry, go ahead, was.

Speaker 3 (01:35:54):
Going together with David Copperfield, right, I mean right, oh yes,
it goes back to Charles Dickens and goes way way
back that The whole orphan trope is a trope in literature.

Speaker 2 (01:36:05):
But if you are reading Harry Potter and you're reading
Roald Dahl, it's that sense of humor, it's that sensibility,
it's that and everyone, just like Harry Potter was to
me like the Princess Diana's death, everyone was like lining
up to midnight to fucking buy Harry Potter book, or

(01:36:28):
the morning after Diana's death people were lining the fucking
mal and the lead up to bucking and palace fucking
weeping and waving their hands around and oh the people's
princess and fucking blah blah blah blah blah, like what
happened to the world, What happened to the world? Seriously,
did no one read Harry Potter and go, oh my god,

(01:36:50):
this is one of the most derivative, badly written kids
books ever. No, because then Twilight came out and everyone
assumed that was fucking literature, right.

Speaker 3 (01:36:59):
Because you know, I think the Roll Dull thing. You
make a great point of me, because I you know,
I of course, you know, read those books, like, you know,
fourth fifth grade. You know, they were just you had
to be Roll Dall if you read you you know,
But I think there were a lot of people, especially
like our age that you know, especially in America, who
didn't read that stuff. Right, They weren't reading anything at
that time unless they had to read it for you know,

(01:37:20):
reading period or whatever. And then like when they got
older and suddenly this Harry Potter stuff comes out and
they read it. It's like, well they never heard of
they knew who Rolled Dall was, but they'd never read
any of his stuff. I mean I remember reading tons
of his you know. Like again, like you said, it
was like kind of you know, it was like every
fourth fifth grade whatever class had those books on the shelf.

(01:37:42):
And so it's like, Okay, I want to read something.
I'm going to pull one of those books off the shelf.
But I think there were a lot enough people that
their first like encounter was reading was Harry Potter. Like,
they didn't really read anything before that, so they wouldn't
have known the Roll Dull connection. They wouldn't know.

Speaker 2 (01:37:59):
JK. Rowling is the Quentin Tarantino of authors. And make
no mistake, the Quentin Tarantino based on who he's been
around in Hollywood, it's probably the JK Rowling of Hollywood.
And I'll leave it at that.

Speaker 3 (01:38:13):
Anyway, Yes, yes, that's a good point.

Speaker 2 (01:38:15):
Anyway, I hated Harry Potter before it was trendy. I
hated Harry Potter the first night that the first night
the second book went on sale.

Speaker 3 (01:38:31):
I've never read them the only time so I bought.
So there's this a bookstore in Boston. I don't know if
it's still there, but it had books in foreign languages,
and I was minoring in German at the time, and
so I was down there in Boston, and I see
I had a choice between that one and Charlotte's Web
in German, and I thought, well, I'll do the Harry
Potter book. In Germany, it was a cameradsh Shrekens, which
is a Chamber of Secrets. I thought, I'll do the

(01:38:53):
Harry Potter one because I've never read it, and I
realized that, actually, no, I should have done the Charlotte
Web because when I did the Harry Potter, when I
started trying to read it, I couldn't figure out what
was German and what was made up ship for wizardry
stuff right exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:39:06):
Well, what was good about about that was that, you know,
the Germans love it when the youth have structure and
when the youth have to participate in physical activity. So
Harry kind of being drafted for Quiddagche and you know,
having a force structure at Hogwarts, not being allowed to

(01:39:27):
go outside the walls, you know, befriending large hearty men
who drink flagons of ale with enormous beards. It's a
very German. There's a lot of German stuff in Harry Potter.
So they're okay with it. I mean they kind of
look at Hogwarts as sort of an extension of the
hit the youth, you know what I mean, Like, yeah,

(01:39:49):
let us put put all the children in the shorts
and make some run vis the knees, pointing high ones
and they keep you know, that's the Germans. Like, I
love it. I love it. Look it's all of the
Varian uniforms. Yeah, children should be in uniforms. I love it. Yeah,
it's fantastic. That's that's what that's like. Hagrid. Yes, I

(01:40:09):
am Hagrid. This is my family name, you know. At
the Germans level, that ship, uh, I know, run faster,
Run faster, Harry, Yes, that's uh anyway, yeah, uh, it's
never too late to take the piss out of the Germans.

(01:40:32):
Trell is one inspiration for Harry Potter, and JK. Rowling
is a lying fuck knuckle.

Speaker 3 (01:40:40):
Yes, you. I think the thing is with with with
this movie that I like. Also, you know with John
John Carl Buckler, you know, he's he's kind of in
that category of like a Frank Hennenlotter. These these guys
that were born in the early fifties who grew up
watching you know, the the fifties schlock horror movies, whether

(01:41:00):
it was in the movie theater, you know, and like
you know, in the grindhouse theaters in New York City,
or if it was on TV, you know, on the weekends,
and it's kind of the MST three K guys when
they were kind of also inspired by that kind of thing.
They're all around that same age. I think Uklear was
born in fifty two. I think head of Letters around
that fifty one to fifty two. And they bring this
sensibility to these movies that they're just so far out there,

(01:41:25):
but like, yeah, troll can fit right in perfectly with
a Franken Hooker or you know, a basket case. It's
it's that, you know, Goolies is another one, of course,
you know, the sensibilities that these guys brought to this
kind of stuff. I just love it. I always this
is kind of my favorite kind of horror or you know,
this kind of thing. I've always loved this mindset.

Speaker 2 (01:41:45):
Yeah, I just liked the idea that we used to
make movies for no other reason other than to have
like weird little rubber creatures in them that would just
do nondescript, slightly violent, slightly weird shit to people for
nothing other than like, maybe the trolls want a little
part of the world as well, Like maybe they don't
want to be banished to whatever nether world they're forced

(01:42:06):
to live in. Maybe they do want to just can
we just have this brownstone like maybe we could just
have this brownstone. Yeah, there's only three or four people
that need to either die, be turned into wood nymphs,
turn into a pupa or whatever it is. It's only
three or four people, and most of those people are terrible, terrible,
horrible people. So let's just can we have this? Can
we just have this building? And then the witch is like, no,

(01:42:28):
you can't have the building. But I tell you what,
And this was my review when I put it up
on letterbox. I give it four stars, Matt, and I said,
let me explain. The four stars are for two things.
One the film. It's a chaotic, weird, beautiful, strange, unexpected,
fucking nuts fever dream full of latex, rubber, flora and fauna.

(01:42:49):
And then I said, number two, the behind the scenes crew.
While watching the extensive making of filled with ever increasingly charming, quirky,
nerdy and delightful people, I just out in love with
the crew. They are a funny, self depreciating, quick witted,
odd facial, tick driven bunch and they are absolutely wonderful
in every way. So I have the Eureka set, and

(01:43:12):
as I said, it's quite a extensive making of everybody
in Buchler's crew, because you know, Bigler had a SFX
company before he became a director, and they're all from
his crew with each one and they interview them what
they interviewed the start motion guy, they interviewed the rubber
Latex guy, They interview the puppeteers, They interview a lot

(01:43:35):
of people who made the amateurs and the animatronics and
various other things. They interview like everybody, And as it
kind of goes down the list of all the people
they're interviewing, they become more and more like, as I said,
like just charmingly nerdy, self depreciating, kind of talking to
the chest, make a little rye comment about themselves, just

(01:43:58):
like really lovely, awkward, weird people. And I love awkward
weird people. They just make me happy. And the fact
that Beekler himself a lunatic with you know, bright blonde
hair and a dark black beard, both of which are dyed,
like both his hair and his beard are both dyed,
and he's this big, portly guy who's kind of rocking

(01:44:20):
a scullet because he's losing his hair at the front.
And but he but much like the troll in Troll
or even the ghoolies and goolies. He comes across as
a jolly, benevolent weirdo, you know what I mean, clearly
a weirdo. Like you look at Beakler and you're like, okay,
you know, there's a couple of lunch rolls short of
a full bread basket and in the best way, in

(01:44:43):
the best way, in the way that a lot of
outsider artists and weird rubber animatronic puppet making men. Look,
you know, that's that's absolutely fine. I don't mind it.
But when you meet his crew on the making of
I threw I threw any objectivity out the window. I
just said, charl gets four stars because these people are

(01:45:05):
fucking beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:45:06):
Yeah. Yeah, So I didn't see that part of because
I watched this on TV. But I you know, again,
these movies they're just they just work for me, you know.
I think, you know, I put this kind of in
a similar you know, three and a half four star
category as well. I think it's you know again, it
fits like with a franket hooker or a basket case.
You know, they're trying to think of some other ones

(01:45:27):
they kind of fit in that category. I mean, some
of the fred Olin Ray or win Orski movies like
gen Orski's Return of the Swamp Revenge or Return of
the Swamp Thing or reularly you know, whichever it was, Revenge, Return,
whichever the Swamp Thing. Yeah, I mean that's you know,
and again they're all around the same age. They all
kind of grew up in the same environment of movies
and influences and they created this stuff that you know, again,

(01:45:47):
like you said, kind has this domino effect that now
you know, it'd we get into the nineties. Well, because they.

Speaker 2 (01:45:51):
Either come out of the Corvin school or the Band school,
and both both schools are known for, you know, keeping
the effects as low budget as possible and also stretching
a dollar way further than it will go. And there's
also a there's something interesting that happens in the brain

(01:46:12):
when you're watching a movie like this, because you can
watch it two ways. You can either buy into the troll,
go well, this is the troll. This is the thing
that I'm looking at that's going to be killing people
or taking sucking the souls or whatever it's going to
be doing.

Speaker 3 (01:46:25):
This is the troll.

Speaker 2 (01:46:26):
And it's as real to me as Warwick Davis and
the leprechorn like that. I have to buy into it fully,
or you watch it, and you watch it and you go, oh,
isn't it cool someone built this and designed this and
animated it or puppetato or whatever it is. Either way
you look at it, whether you fully suspend this belief

(01:46:48):
or whether you look at it with an objective eye,
either way it succeeds, because either way it's charming if
you buy wholeheartedly into it. It's this funny, little quirky
tale of this mad little dwarf who's taken over this
little girl who you know, used to be married to
the switch and blah blah blah blah blah, and it's
just a fun like weird rub where he's kind of yeah,

(01:47:10):
he's killing people or whatever, but he's also turning them
into wood nymphs and he's just having fun. He's getting this,
he's getting the band back together, you know, and you
can't begrudge him that, you know, because they were probably
here before us, you know what I mean. The trolls
are probably here before us. They're the indigenous peoples, and
we should probably just let them have their little troll parties.
Who are we to say you can't have a lily

(01:47:32):
powder to some vines and you know, a nice little
forest glade for you to hang out at. Why would
we deny the trolls that Matt I wouldn't if I
was head of parks and rec.

Speaker 3 (01:47:50):
Like you said, you kind of work this either way,
like you said, I mean, and to be honest, I get,
you know, from from JK. Browling standpoint, right, is that
I think one of the things we're capable of doing
that like Julie Louis Dreyfus can't do or JK. Rowan
can't do, is say I like this, I have fun
with this, right, Like you know, J. K. Rolling probably
enjoyed watching this movie. She probably liked it, but she

(01:48:11):
didn't want anybody to know that she saw this. She
you know, It's probably the way that like, you know,
younger people you know, you know in this.

Speaker 2 (01:48:18):
Didn't want anyone to know that, or go and watch
City on Fire and then pulled in and went, oh
you just rip this off exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:48:25):
Yeah, it's like, you know, she was probably sneaking troll
the way that like, you know, kids in the eighties
would be sneaking porn movies or whatever from the video store.
You know, you know, I don't want anybody to know
that I'm watching troll I can't let anybody, you know,
realize this. And then she starts jotting everything down and like, oh,
I've you know, creating this whole thing worth a billion
dollars out.

Speaker 2 (01:48:44):
Well, she was probably confused by the whole thing. She
probably wanted to She probably wanted to interview the trolls
and ask each of them their gender and pronounce, just
to make sure that they conform to what I'm a
mad fucking banana's restrictive view of humans. We're just organisms rallying.
We can do what we want to do and it

(01:49:05):
doesn't fucking affect you, and shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 (01:49:07):
Yeah, and there's been trans people since well before, so
as long as there's been humans, there's been trans right, And.

Speaker 2 (01:49:12):
The existence of trans people does not negate the existence
of womanhood or femininity or feminism or whatever. Because I
know lots and lots and lots and lots and lots
and lots of women who are all being very empowered
business owners and family heads of families and whatever, who
are fantastic, wonderful women. Not one of them is threatened

(01:49:33):
by a single trans performer and or drag act. So
stop your If women on masks, like the Me Too era,
if women on masks were saying, actually, this is hampering
our ability to use our bathroom, or the ability for
us to get healthcare or the ability to get whatever,
that would be fine. But they're not. They're not doing that,
So it's fine and it's not for me to say

(01:49:55):
either way. But it's also not for JK. Rowling today.
So U trill. I loved Full Stars. The people behind
it were absolutely charming. Michael Mariati was given free reign
to be as fucking insite as he wanted to be,
and he took a full hip thrusting advantage of that.
And yeah, I mean it doesn't it doesn't amount to

(01:50:16):
a hall hill of beans. But instead of charming and fun,
wanted so on. That's what I would say.

Speaker 3 (01:50:20):
Yeah, this is a great Like, whoever is in your
group that want to watch a low budget, you know,
eighties movie, if you're having a movie night, and or
if you're yourself and you're just looking for something that's
gonna be fun and you know kind of to relax
to you know, to kind of just watch a movie.
This is a great one. But this is a This
is a very versatile kind of movie in that sense

(01:50:41):
that it's a low budget bad movie that anybody can.

Speaker 2 (01:50:43):
Watch right and anyone can enjoy. And it's it's good
to have these entry films because if you have a
kid who wants to get into alternative programming or whatever
you want to call it, then this is a good
entry way because there's nothing in this that isn't in
the never ending story, including the lead actor and or

(01:51:08):
in Labyrinth or in Indiana Jones the Temple of Doom,
or Howard the Duck, or you name your like kind
of trauma Returned to Oz, the fucking crazy Wheeler guys
in Return to Oz, like you name your kind of trauma,
and they've all gone through it before they've got to troll,

(01:51:28):
so I wouldn't get too worried about it.

Speaker 3 (01:51:30):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:51:32):
And where do you as a direct to video connoisseur,
where do you fall on Full Moon or Empire any
of those kind of films. I know you more air
on the side of like action or adventure or sci
fi or whatever, But considering Full Moon is one of
the with Corman and Trauma, it's one of the sort
of top three direct to video distributors. Really they don't.

(01:51:59):
None of them are in cinema anymore, Like where do
you where do they sit in your film watching canon?

Speaker 3 (01:52:06):
Well so, so, I mean, you know, hugely influential for me.
I think, you know, whether it was Full Moon, Trauma,
you know those are you know Corman stuff, the stuff
I watched a lot growing up. What I've talked about,
you know, you know about my site was that when
I started the site, I was planning to have more
Full Moon, just like I was planning to have more
Trauma all that. But what happened was, I think the

(01:52:26):
ecosystem for horror is much bigger. There were a lot
more horror blogs out there, whereas for low budget action
from the eighties and nineties, there weren't a lot of
people doing that, and that's where the engagement started to
come from. And you know, at that time with blogs,
it was like a lot of commenters, and the commenters
would be like, oh, do this movie, do that one?
So it was like you know, doing Dolph Lundern movies,
doing you know, John Club Vandam or something. Oh no, dudes,

(01:52:48):
do some Gary Daniels, do some David Bradley or you know,
you know, and and so the the stuff like the
Charles Band stuff, the trauma stuff that I was I
thought were going to be hallmarks of the site kind
of got you know, pushed to the side a little bit,
not intentionally, but just sort of the way it worked out. So, yeah,
I'd always planned on doing more of this kind of
stuff on the site, and because yeah, this is stuff

(01:53:10):
I've always really loved, and I think, like you said,
you know, when it comes to DTV distributors, they're one
of the best. I mean, right, you know one of
the things right now is that the app they.

Speaker 2 (01:53:20):
LaserDisc and DVD extras like they did. Yes, So no,
he basically invented like this whole idea of having extra
features on stuff, because even as early as his VHS days,
he was putting video zone kind of ten minute ePK
footage which is electronic press kit for people who don't
know ePK ePK footage on his VHS. So you would

(01:53:45):
finish the VHS, there'd be an extra ten to fifteen
minute short making of and I believe he was the
first distributor to start doing that.

Speaker 3 (01:53:54):
Yeah, no, that makes sense because I mean they were
one of the first directed video overall, Like they were
one of the first people putting stuff that was strictly
for the video store, right, Yeah, so they kind of
in the early eighties, they pioneered that market.

Speaker 2 (01:54:08):
Well, when you look at the stuff that he produced,
you know, again, we've made this joke before about like,
you know, has anyone ever had a run of four
films like this.

Speaker 3 (01:54:18):
Before?

Speaker 2 (01:54:18):
You know? But when I look at you know, Okay,
we'll take a few jumps here because there are a
couple of years in between these films. But Taurist Trap, Parasite,
Metal Storm, The Destruction of Jared Sin, the Alchemist, The
Dungeon Master, Goolies, Trancers, Walking the Edge, Zone, Troopers, Troll Eliminators,

(01:54:39):
Terror Vision, Crawl Space, from Beyond Dolls. You know, all
these movies. I'm not naming anything that isn't being discussed
on a thousand indie podcasts right now. These movies are
still I'm not naming like movies that no one's ever
heard of, even if they are a little, uh sort

(01:55:02):
of cetier and dtail. They are movies that people are
writing about all the time. These are movies that have
survived thirty five plus years.

Speaker 3 (01:55:10):
Yeah, I mean these are movies that if you go
to the IMDb pages, you're going to see you know,
forty some odd at least Craig refused. Maybe maybe more so,
maybe in the hundreds for some of them, you know,
over one hundred for some of them. But yeah, you're
you're exactly right, Like, these are movies. I mean I
think I've reviewed like four or five out of that
list that you had there. You know, I think most
you know, both sites, like you said, they've covered a lot.
So yeah, like there wasn't a name that you mentioned

(01:55:32):
there that I was like, I hadn't at least heard of,
you know, right, And.

Speaker 2 (01:55:34):
If you were a fan of Stuart Gordon or HP Lovecraft,
you've got Child's Band to thank, Like, yes, he was
the one that got those, whether it's re Animator or
From Beyond or later films like even a Dagon, which
I don't think is a Child's Band production, but the
Stuart Gold was certainly filming on Charles Brand's property in Italy, yeah,

(01:55:56):
where they are or Romania. They owned, they owned a
couple of studios, he owned a student you in Italy,
but I think he also owned a castle and some
other stuff in Romania that he used to film stuff
at as well. But no, he's been involved in so
much that we take for granted, just in the way
that Roger Corman was and in the way that to
some extent we're now noticing that Lloyd Kaufman has as well,

(01:56:18):
with the people like James Gunn and stuff coming out
the next wave of Troma people now making it in Hollywood.
And I think that again, it's not the narrative that
Hollywood would have you believe, or the or the people
or the E Network or anyone who is, you know,
apparently dissecting pop culture with a razor blade. They seem

(01:56:40):
to be missing that almost everything that we know and
love and even the things that are still coming out
to this day. Like I said, James Gunn is the
head of DC now, like he wrote Tromeo and Juliet, Like,
let's not you know what I mean. So let's like
that's where we're at now. Like the great the gigs

(01:57:01):
have definitely inherited the.

Speaker 3 (01:57:03):
Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, you're exactly correct. And I mean, granted,
you know it happened before, right, it happened in the
seventies with these tour directors who were working under Corman
and and then you know, kind of creating a new
Hollywood in the seventies. You know, when they start with Corman,
it's a similar thing that we're seeing now, Like you said,
with like someone like a James gun I mean, Darren
Aronofsky does Soldier Boys. He's like a second unit director

(01:57:26):
on Soldier Boys, the you know, Michael Dudakov movie. It's like,
you know these names, Yeah, they they kind of start
in that place, but like, yeah, they're they're kind of
you know, getting getting started here or the actors, like
you talked about it is, it's like it's an interesting
piece because it's like it's almost like this untold like
you said, untold Hollywood kind of thing where like, yeah,
nobody's really talking about that element, like the he's not

(01:57:49):
going to talk about that, right, They're going to talk
about like the you know, whatever the breakout role was
for that person in mainstream movies. They aren't going to
talk about the other stuff that they were doing. If
they do, it's gonna be w with a johnis Die.

Speaker 2 (01:58:02):
Well, yeah exactly. And you know, I always think back
to like J. J. Abrams did music cues on Night Beast, which,
if you want low budget, that's even less than Charles
Band ever had. Troma distributed Nightbeast, but they paid nothing
for the production of Night Beast. But J. J. Abrams,

(01:58:24):
who was like eleven or twelve at the time, was like,
can I send you some synth tracks that I've been
working on? And you know, I would have loved to
have seen J. J. Abrams going the way of Carpenter
and scoring his own movies if he is a if
he has some synth background, but apparently not. I also
would have loved to have seen J. J. Abrams putting
George Stover, even in cameo roles in Hollywood movies. So

(01:58:50):
James Gunn at least throws Lloyd Uncle Lloydy a bow
and every so often and puts him in a movie
gets him a good paycheck, or he puts Nathan Fillion
in a movie, or you know, Michael Rooker has a
has a career in part to James Gunn's use of
him in various different films and things. Yea, uh, well yeah,

(01:59:11):
but even before that, I think he's in He's in
a couple of other earlier James Gunn films and things.
So I I think that's the story we should continue
to be telling anyway. So and Charles Band has been
at the forefront of that in his entire career, and
we have him to thank for Troll. But we also
have the wonderful John Carl Bigley, who I believe developed

(01:59:33):
the script first of all and actually brought it to
Charles Band. I believe he'd had Troll in his back
pocket even before Goolies, because I think Goolies he was
just does he direct Goolies or does he just do
the special effects for Goolies.

Speaker 3 (01:59:47):
That's a good question he would ask for his directing work.
But he might be right. Of course, Ulis go to college.
He directed, but I but actually this is Troll is
his second movie, Dungeon Master. He does one segment on
their Trolls his first feature film that he directed, right exactly.

Speaker 2 (02:00:03):
So he doesn't direct Goolies. He just does the special
effects to Goolies. He also worked on as makeup department
for Reanimators, so you know, and so Bakler, I think
that was a fantastic job, both with the special effects
in directing, and I like to see that he kind

(02:00:23):
of goes on to do bigger and better things after
this to some extent, And I think dies way too young, right.

Speaker 3 (02:00:31):
Oh yeah, he was born in fifty two. He's the
ime age of my dad died in Yeah, so sixty
sixty seven is not that old, you know.

Speaker 2 (02:00:41):
Yeah, sixty six he was when he died. Yeah, sixty
born in June and March, so that's why. So almost
sixty seven. But still that's that's entirely too young. And
I would have liked to have seen what Bukler would
have done in his older age. But I listen. I
like Trell, I like health Band. I want to celebrate

(02:01:02):
that whenever we can. And so, unless you have any
other closing comments, control, we will move over to a
completely different beast of a completely different color, Delta Heat
from nineteen ninety two. Do you need a break? Do
you need anything? Or do we just keep going?

Speaker 3 (02:01:20):
Yeah? I'm ready to go.

Speaker 2 (02:01:21):
Yeah, Yeah, okay, cool, So Delta Heat. What can we
say about Delta Heat that hasn't already been said by
ten user reviews on IMDb. This is not a well
known film. It's not a well regarded film. It's just

(02:01:44):
a film. It's one of those things that littered the
late eighties early nineties as well. You know, man, I mean,
I feel like Delta Heat is square in your ballpark.
I feel like we should hand the reins over to
you a little bit.

Speaker 3 (02:01:59):
But yeah, well it's funny. So I we talked about
when when you mentioned this, when I was like, I
thought I had seen this before. So what I had
seen this was this aired on TV in the in
the nineties. And the only scene I remember, and it
might be the only scene I saw it might have been,
I tuned in, was like, what's this with Anthony Edwards?
Then I turned it off. Is that scene in the
in the retirement home or the nursing home or whatever,

(02:02:20):
where the young woman her dad who is like the
drug dealer, we find out that he's still alive and
he's like, oh, burned or whatever, and it's just like
this big rubber dummy in a wheelchair that's supposed to
be like somebody that's like burned in like a vegetable
or something like that. And I just remember Anthony Edwards
saying the exact line. I you know, I heard him
say this movie, how long has you been like this?
And I just remembered that, and then it cut to

(02:02:42):
commercial and I just turned the channel and watch something else.
So that's that's all I had seen of this movie.
But I was like, it's got to be the same movie,
and sure enough, when that scene happened, I was like, Okay,
it's the same movie. But it is a fascinating one
because I mean you got Lance Hendrickson, who usually plays
a battie in things, and they kind of try to
twist it in that way that maybe he is the addie,
you know, the Anthony Edwards piece like we're so used to, like,

(02:03:05):
you know, like actors like like a wind Cat or
even a David Bradley or somebody who's going to be
the detective who comes in you or even like maybe
a David Keith or somebody like that who's like the
gruff detective. They haven't be Anthony Edwards from you know, uh,
the Revenge of the Nerds, and it has.

Speaker 2 (02:03:22):
It doesn't make any sense, it really doesn't.

Speaker 3 (02:03:25):
It's hair, the outfits, it's just yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:03:27):
The trouble the problem with Delta Heat is also the
thing that makes it its most entertaining, which is Anthony Edwards.
So he is, you know, Anthony Edwards is sort of
good at two or three things. One of which is
sort of being a lovable, harmless dufus in Revenge of

(02:03:48):
the Nerds. One of them is being the lovable dufus
but put upon expert doctor Aia, and one of them
is the set in his ways, very kind of plane

(02:04:08):
spoken and mild manner detective in Zodiac. Those are kind
of like the three quintessential movies for Anthony Edwards. What
we don't expect Anthony Edwards to be is a blonde,
mulleted pimp suit wearing silken shirt, loving earring having Los

(02:04:31):
Angeles detective in the hot, sweaty city of Louisiana, ye
having not very fun fights, bat nage and banter with
a incredibly hilarious greasy head swamp rat type character of

(02:04:53):
Larrence Hendrickson. Larrence Hendrickson who's taking every opportunity by the
way to chew or at least in the very at
least at the lesser end of the spectrum, lick the
sweaty scenery of this movie, like his lunch depended on it.
He is. He is everything to love about this film.

(02:05:16):
And then some like Hendrickson. If this was sort of
like if they had miscast Hendrickson, because Hendrickson is perfectly
cast perfectly. Anthony Edwards is horribly miscast, but he's miscast
almost to the point where it comes back around to
being well cast again. He's right on that edge right well.

Speaker 3 (02:05:34):
Because the other thing, too, is that part of the
reason why Lance Hendrickson makes the movie is Lance Hendrickson
sells Anthony Edwards in this movie. Like every scene that
he's acting in with Anthony Edwards, he's he's selling the
fact that, like Anthony Edwards is his LA cop and
which it's like, I think it's what makes an actor

(02:05:55):
in a schlock film good. You know, you got to
sell everything.

Speaker 2 (02:05:58):
But this is my thing is is you know it?
This is nineteen ninety two, right, So we've had our
fair share of wives cracking cops or jural whether it's
Fletch or axel Air or whoever it is, right, We've
had our John McLean, Right, Yeah, we've had our fair
share of wives I've never seen I wouldn't know about

(02:06:21):
LA in nineteen ninety two, But were they all wearing
like silk shirts and off the peg JC Penny olive
green to tan suits and walking around with blonde mullets
and earrings? Like was that because it didn't scream La
to me. It screamed like cheese ball New York investor

(02:06:43):
in the eighties, that's what it screamed to me, or
or you know, down and out pimp.

Speaker 3 (02:06:49):
Yeah, I mean one of the suits is like an orange,
I don't know what you call it, like a toasted
mango maybe what was Yeah, like you said, yeah, that's
like that was like you said, like you said, like
the Wall Street guy, right, like, let's do lunch character
right right, yeah. Yeah, And and then there's like this
whole trope of like almost like this like crocodile dune

(02:07:10):
dee kind of thing where it's like, let's take New
La cop guy who like wears kimonos and you know,
has these these suits and everything, and let's just throw
him through like fish guts or mud or swamps, swamps that. Yeah,
let's just do all that kind of stuff to him.
Let's just make him there.

Speaker 2 (02:07:26):
Yeah. So you know how the old trope is, if
one of your detectives has a classic car, then before
the end of the movie, that classic car is getting trashed.
It just that's the rule of the movies. If one
of your detectives has something that they love, their house
or a classic car or whatever whatever the writer things
makes them a little human. Oh yeah, okay, he goes

(02:07:48):
out and kills bad guys, but he also waxes the
hood of an old Bentley that he made out of
cereal boxes in the seventies and he's been massaging and
wanking over ever since. But you know, writers love that shit.
They love giving people like, you know, different vintage cars. Invariably,

(02:08:08):
there's going to be a car rack. Invariably, his partner's
going to be driving, not him, right, and his partner
not caring about the car as much as he does,
but only caring about getting the bad guy is going
to drive this car into walls, jump this car over
like ballards, crash this car into other cars, and every
time it's going to cut to the guy who's been
lovingly restoring this car for thirty years, going no, like

(02:08:31):
whatever in the passenger seat.

Speaker 3 (02:08:32):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:08:34):
This is the trope we've seen in a thousand movies,
one of a very good example of which is in
one of my favorite under the radar movies with Dan
Akroyd and Gene Hackman in it. What a pairing. I
don't know who wrote wrote that up. And that's Loose
Cannons from nineteen ninety where Gene Hackman has like a

(02:08:57):
wagon ear with wood on the side of it or
whatever stand acoid in the midst of a car. Chase
has one of his schizophrenic panics and drives the car
along like a brick wall, destroying all the wood and
fucking up the paintwork, and Gene Hankis was like, no, oh,
my car or whatever. Meanwhile Dan Aquard was doing funny
voices and jumping potholes and stuff. By the way, I

(02:09:18):
love LUs Cannon, so everyone hates it, but I fucking
love that movie. But Delta heat Yeah, I couldn't get
a grip on Antiony Edwoods at all. I couldn't even
put him in the zeitgeist of the times, Like, I
just couldn't. I don't know where did this come from, Matt,
What were they trying? What were they going for that
I'm not understanding.

Speaker 3 (02:09:37):
No, I was trying to figure out, like what this
LA was. I mean it's I mean the closest thing
I could come to. His LA was like maybe like
David Shark Freylik in a PM flick, like as like
third right, you know, like left who gets like roundhouse
kicked by you know, Gary Daniels off of a banister

(02:09:58):
or something like that.

Speaker 2 (02:10:00):
To say, like in PEM entertainment, there's a lot of
in order to denote wealth, especially in the early nineties,
silk shirts were a big like silk patent shirts denoted wealth,
and they also denoted you know, cheesy Italian mobster or

(02:10:20):
tech bro or finance bro.

Speaker 3 (02:10:24):
I don't remember it ever.

Speaker 2 (02:10:25):
Like La Cops to me is like jeans, a T shirt,
and like a Lennamon jacket. Like that's that's like La Cops.
You know, whether it's Rigs in leithan weapon, or whether
it's axel f in Beverly Hills carp or whether it's Fletch,
it's all about the jeans, the T shirt and then
either a Baba jacket like a flight jacket, a you know,

(02:10:52):
a hoodie like a casual hoodie, or a Lennamon jacket.
Like those were the three. That's what I thought about.
And it was funny like Eddie Murphy when he was
making the fourth Beverly Hillscop movie, you know, people tried
to keep foisting that black and white Leniman jacket on
him and he was like why they were like well,

(02:11:14):
you wear it in the first two movies. Like, if
you're bringing back Axel Left the way people remember Axl Left,
and you're gonna start referencing the first movie, You've got
to wear this jacket. He's like, but Axel doesn't just
wear that jacket throughout the movies. They're like, no, but
this has now become the Axel Left jacket, Like that's
what we like. They were trying to explain to him
that the fans picture Axel in that jacket, even if

(02:11:37):
he doesn't always wear that jacket, we picture him in
that jacket. Fletch puts on lots of outfits throughout the
entirety of Fletch, but I always picture him in the jeans,
the tank, the baseball tank, and the hoodie from the
opening of Fletch. That's how I think of Fletch. It's
just that that's where my brain. John McCain, he doesn't

(02:12:00):
always wear a wife beat a tank top vest thing,
but that's how you picture him. That's just you just
assume that's what he's wearing at all times.

Speaker 3 (02:12:09):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, or like, yeah, you know. Bill Gibson's
character in Leaves the Weapon right with his Canadian tuxedo, right,
that's you know, he doesn't always wear a Canadian tuxedo,
but like with the hair of everything together.

Speaker 2 (02:12:23):
It's what Chuck Norris I assume is always in a
Canadian tuxedo, although he probably is not in a Canadian
tuxedo very often. I just think of him in Canada
films in a Canadian tuxedo, exactly. Yeah, and so we
just accept these things. But no, I've never seen anybody
like dressed like Anthony Edwards who's meant to be a cop.
I don't even understand. I can't even think of a

(02:12:45):
like even you know, in cop movies, especially like eighties
cop movies. Although it was best parodied in the rival
Garbage Man Dead Body movie Men at Work with Charlie
Sheen and a miniutment. There's always the other team. There's
always the team that like they think that by kissing

(02:13:06):
ass and being by the book, they're going to get
it done. And they're always like, oh, how did Axel
you know, or how did Riggs and Murta come in
and you know, win our case for us when we've
just been doing the grunt work, right, and they get
frustrated and maybe there's a little rivalry between the two
of them, or they have some like witty banter back

(02:13:27):
and forth, or you know, they insult each other or whatever,
and then maybe by the end one of them is
in danger and they save him and they all find
true you know, meaning and love and happiness or whatever.
But that normally is what happens in a movie with
these people. He's not he's dressed like one of the
other guys. He's not dressed like the cops. We want

(02:13:47):
to be watching, you know what I mean. We want
to be watching Riggs and Murta or Nick Nolty and
Eddie Murphy or you know, Fletch or axel F and
Billy Rosewood or whatever, and that's who we want to
be watching. We don't want to be No one understands
why we're watching Anthony Edwards. They're looking at it and going,
this guy is the other guy. Surely he's the guy

(02:14:09):
who wears all the silk shirts and and you know,
winds up with egg on his face because every time
he challenges Riggs and Murtile whatever. Riggs and Murtar are like, well,
actually we have the bad guy waiting in this box.
And they go, oh, we have the bad guy all
along and he's like, oh, coy says, I thought I'd
got Riggs and Murta. You know, whatever it is, he's

(02:14:30):
that guy. He's not our hero. Why is he our hero? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:14:34):
Well he's not. Only is he that guy? So you
know there's always that that applause scene right where the
jerk guy gets decked by the hero.

Speaker 2 (02:14:44):
Back to the future scene the exempt drives into the
truck and manure. There always has to be that in
the middle of a car chase, they have to leave
the other guys behind with a blown gasket or something.

Speaker 3 (02:14:56):
Right, Anthony Edwards's character is the guy who gets decked
by the girlfriend of William Atherton getting decked by Bonnie Badilia, right, diehard,
That's what Anthony Edwards's character.

Speaker 2 (02:15:10):
Right, I'm like, why is this cheeseball? Why are we
even following him?

Speaker 3 (02:15:15):
Right? Right?

Speaker 2 (02:15:16):
Exactly now, I think we're meant to be I wasn't
it funny that he keeps falling over in fish cuts?
But what they've forgotten to do that, what they've forgotten
to do is given us, give us a hero. Right,
So we have Larnce Hendrickson, who we love because he's

(02:15:36):
greasy and weird and chewing his vowels and trying to
do the Louisiana accent and all the other stuff right.
And he has a hook for a hand, so like
we're immediately into Lance Hendrickson, but we also can't trust
him as far as we can throw him, So he
can't be a hero. He can't be a hero because
he could end up being the murderer or whatever. So

(02:15:58):
Anthony Edwards by default because he's the one who's coming
out of town, and normally as well, they come in
from out of town and the town sheriff is like, oh,
you're not gonna understand how to get on in Louisiana.
And then within five minutes they've done a huge coke
bust and they've succeeded where the Louisiana police have failed
for fucking decades. And they're like, I own this town now, bitch,

(02:16:21):
and I'm gonna do whatever I want to do. I'm
an La car, but I'm kicking ass right.

Speaker 3 (02:16:26):
None of that.

Speaker 2 (02:16:26):
From the moment we meet Anthony Edwards, he's getting his
silk shirts covered in mud, blood, fish guts, water, sweat, effluent,
the sex, juices of that random woman who does a
weird striptease for him out of nowhere. What was that
all about?

Speaker 3 (02:16:46):
Yeah, she just shows up with his handcuffs because because
he's like, I'm just gonna go to bed or somewhere.
I'm gonna like look up stuff for the case. And right,
She's like, Okay, go ahead, look up stuff for the case.
And then she just just you know, oh, I'm gonna
do this, and yeah, that was that was that was
completely just you know, she she had a thing from
him for him from the beginning, and that didn't make
any sense either.

Speaker 2 (02:17:07):
No, she had a thing for him because it said
in the script she has a thing for him, right.

Speaker 3 (02:17:13):
Yeah, she's just like checking him out from a moment
she meets him. And it's like why is she checking
him out? Because he's not some cool LA guy. He's
Anthony Edwards with weird hair and and he's just been
covered in fish cuts too, so it's like, there's nothing
that he's doing on a charisma level that is not
superseding fish cuts.

Speaker 2 (02:17:33):
There is nothing he is doing on the charisma level
that is superseding fish cuts. Quote of the Day Matt
Matt Poier from The Aftermovie Died. That sounds incredible. Yeah, no,
you're totally right. Like Anthony Edwards is the problem character here,
and it's not necessarily anything Anthony Edwards is doing, although

(02:17:55):
he's also not He's just not the character we need
at the said the story, and maybe they were trying
to do something different, or maybe they were trying to
do a comedic partnership, or maybe they expected, you know,
more fireworks or whatever it was. I don't know, but
the end of the story, at the end of the
day is that the Drawer here is sort of the

(02:18:16):
goofy but swampy Louisiana detective movie. It's far more a
detective movie than it is a horror or an action film,
although it has aspects of both because it does have
some slashing or murders in it, but it also has
sort of some action sequences as well, and some stunts.
But really it's a Louisiana set, swampy detective movie with

(02:18:41):
a great Lance Hendrickson a compromised Anthony Edwards, and you
know that at least keeps you trundling along towards the end.
I don't know how much I care about any of it,
but it was quite fun watching it.

Speaker 3 (02:18:55):
Yeah, I think it is, like you said, it's a
fun time. I think again, this one, like like Troll,
is the kind of movie that you can center a
movie night with a bunch of friends around. I don't
know how many people you delta. He's more of like
a solo mish, like you kind of just watch this
one by yourself. You're killing town on the Saturday afternoon
or something like that. But it works in that capacity.

(02:19:16):
I think the one thing that would have made it
better for me is if that that police chief character
is played by Charles Napier. That's the one piece that
they should have shelled that a little bit extra for
Napier and Napes is to call him, get him in
there as like the the you know, because he could
do that part really well. So that's the only thing
that this movie was missing for me. But overall, like
you said, it's it's gonna get you to the church

(02:19:37):
on time? What about it is?

Speaker 2 (02:19:39):
What about a double bill, a double bill of this
and Hot Target?

Speaker 3 (02:19:45):
Yeah? Yeah, that would you know, that would be an
interesting combination. Yeah, if you you know, if you had
these two I mean yeah, I mean the Hendrickson part
right and even stone Cold right. Yeah, Well that's right,
Hard Target, right, because yeah, it's like that, that whole
idea of like we've got to have an excuse for
a Van Dam's accent. Which the funny thing is where
you hear this one. You've got some characters that have

(02:20:06):
like legit, you know that they practice and do the
Cajun accent really well, and so it's like you hear
that and you're like, Vandam doesn't sound like them. Just
because he speaks French doesn't mean he's not He.

Speaker 2 (02:20:16):
Doesn't mean he's cage. But it's fine. I mean, it's
it's all, it's all good. They said it in Louisiana.
They give him a French sounding name and we're all
and they give him a greasy mullet and we're all,
is a Chance Boudreaux or something, isn't it? I think?
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh Chance Boudreaux. And he's
like he said, he's right, Am, Chance Boudreaux. It rhymes

(02:20:39):
with Cluza because we both have ridiculous accents. But yeah,
I think this on a double bill with Hard Target
would would work. Which one would? I think you would
have to broadcast this first because Hard Target would have
to swoop in and sort of save it, but you
would get enough interest of it that you were like, oh,

(02:21:01):
well they showed me Delta Heat, and I wouldn't have
seen Delta Heat otherwise. So okay, I saw Delta Heat.
But then I got to see hot talking on the
big screen, and that's what I came for. I got
to see how talking on the big screen. Great. And
then maybe you'd give Delta Heat a slight thought in
the background, you know, one afternoon, But in general it
would be like a you know what, I saw Delta Heat.

(02:21:22):
You know what I mean? That's that's that's to check
that off the list and and move on. But again,
it's a what's odd is it's a rump, but the
so sort of a comedic rump, But the crimes that
are happening, or the people who are doing the crimes
are pretty fucking serious, right, Yes.

Speaker 3 (02:21:43):
Yeah, there's like hearts being ripped out, you know, murders
all over the place, people are getting It's like anytime
somebody's in the in the movie, when somebody's being questioned
or something like that, they end up dead, like a
few scenes later, with their hearts tripped out. And all
these horrible deaths and everything. So there's so that's the
other piece of it, right is it totally it's a
little off because it's like you have these offbeat things

(02:22:04):
with Anthony Edwards getting in the mud and stuff like
that and joking around with Lance Hendrickson, and then they're
going to a crime scene where somebody's heart's missing, you
know what, Like even his partner when he's there in
La to try to face, they ripped out his heart. Man,
Like you know, it's like, you know, it's like this
real serious thing and you're like not expecting goofiness. And
then he goes to meet this Cajun guy and he's
like getting his pants in the mud and stuff like that,

(02:22:25):
and so it's like totally, it's kind of all over
the place too.

Speaker 2 (02:22:29):
Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense, and it's
where tonally you can be over the top and funny
with a lot of gore, like a great example of
a Split Second where it has sort of very graphic
death scenes. But Rooka how then comes in and his
size fourteens, you know, sucking on a stogie and waving

(02:22:53):
an enormous gun around and you're like, oh, okay, that's
the movie. I'm man, I'm in the movie where as
this overblown, ridiculous rucker Howe guy. But he's gonna load
up on guns and kill the devil angel or whatever
it is at the end of the movie, and we're
going to be in good hands. You don't feel like
you're in good hands with Anthony Edwards. That's the real problem.

(02:23:14):
Is you kind of go, well, he's sort of being
this weird like it was a romantic lead. And I
know they always talk about sort of the homo erotic
nature of buddy cop films or whatever it is. But
if it was a romantic lead and it was sort
of a you know, romance to the Stone, where part
of the humor was, you know, while I can handle

(02:23:37):
myself in the jungle, blah blah blah blah blah, I
can't handle myself in the jungle, why the fuck are
we in the jungle? Like if that was sort of
the band round, I guess they were going with that
with Henrickson and Edwards as being sort of the romantic couple,
but for some reason it doesn't quite work. Yeah, I
wanted it to work more like if it was more
like The Defiant Ones or something where they were handcuffed

(02:23:58):
together and they had to deal with it. Well, there
is towards the end they do have a defiant one
sequence right with the handcuff together. Yeah, but again, don't
they come out of the water and kind of make
like boo faces and then it like freeze frames kind
of thing where like we're still partners, we're handcuffed together,

(02:24:20):
freeze frame, and then it ends with like some saxophone
delta heat. You know, they're all like funky, swampy saxophone.
Meanwhile they're just like freeze frame in the water with handcuffs. Oh,
it's so funny.

Speaker 3 (02:24:37):
That's not even the end, see, because they have another
scene where Anthony Edwards is leaving and he's saying goodbye
to the lady. And then it's like one of those
it's like a brunch at some kind of like traditional
kind of New Orleans outdoor dining el fresco kind of
thing that you would expect in like a Matlock episode
or something like that.

Speaker 2 (02:24:54):
It's like, right, and then don't they get in the
same They get in the same in compartment of the
same car where they get in the same car, right.

Speaker 3 (02:25:03):
The truck he takes them in this truck I think right.

Speaker 2 (02:25:05):
And the indication basically is that he's not going anywhere.
They're going to end up being just buddy cops and
Louisiana together, right, right, exactly.

Speaker 3 (02:25:12):
Yeah, I think that the alligators in the back of
the truck eating his luggage or whatever.

Speaker 2 (02:25:16):
Oh right, yeah, where are the last you know, he'll
get in and he'll be like, oh, the last of
my clothes, only had like two more suits left or whatever,
and then it'll cut to the alligator like eating his suit.
But I want you, oh, scrimmedy do, he's got none
of the clothes that he turned up with because of

(02:25:39):
all the hyjiins. Scrimmedy do. That's sort of what I
feel about this movie. But I did enjoy it. I
mean it's one of those It was a bit like
that one I was telling you about with James Remar
and it quiet cool. That was what it was. So yeah,
I mean it pairs well with like a James Remar
and quite cool.

Speaker 3 (02:25:59):
It's not it's not ever going to be the It's
not the.

Speaker 2 (02:26:01):
Undiscovered either detective or action classic we wish it was,
but there's enough here to make it recommendable to the
right audience.

Speaker 3 (02:26:11):
Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah, it's again it's it's
the kind of thing that you could you could do
a good job killing, you know, a weekend, you know,
like an afternoon on a weekend with you know, it
works for that for sure.

Speaker 2 (02:26:23):
No, definitely. But what I mean There's been a one
there's like a serial killer and it's you know, two
cops on the wrong side of the tracks from each
other trying to investigate the serial killer and the hijis.
And I think if Anthony Edwards, as the so called

(02:26:45):
super smart LA cop occasionally got something right, that would
be fine. But I don't think he does get anything
right throughout the whole movie. I think the only person
who's always one step ahead of everybody is Lance Cendricks.

Speaker 3 (02:27:01):
He thinks he has it right. Remember he thinks he's
got it all figured out at the end, but it
turns out he doesn't. He was wrong.

Speaker 2 (02:27:06):
Yeah, he was wrong about everything. So again I'm like, well,
he's he's not a very good detective. It's horrible clothes.
He's not very good on his feet because he's always
falling in things. I don't really understand why I'm watching
this movie exactly. That's that's delt to Heat for you.

Speaker 3 (02:27:25):
That's delt to heat it is.

Speaker 2 (02:27:29):
Uh So, anything else to be said, Matt about either
of these two films.

Speaker 3 (02:27:33):
No, I think they're they're they're both fun times. I
think obviously Troll is the better of the two. I
think for me, I think it's a has a better appeal.
It's got more going on with it than this movie,
for sure. But you know this this movie will you
know Delty Heat? You know again, it's a good time
killer as well.

Speaker 2 (02:27:50):
So yeah, yeah, I gave it three and a half.

Speaker 3 (02:27:53):
Yeah, that's about where I probably think.

Speaker 2 (02:27:55):
It's probably a three. Actually, I'm probably giving an extra
half for Hendrickson's half Sweat. That's probably what I'm doing.
I probably shouldn't give Hendrickson quite the much credit as
I do, but he's probably pipping me that extra half
a star.

Speaker 3 (02:28:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:28:09):
Otherwise, Anthony Edwards just removing like that half a star.
I sort of see it like this, with Antony Edwards
being like, no, we don't deserve it, and Hendriksen is
kind of being like, but I was kind of cool, Andy, no,
but we don't deserve it. Like it's sort of corroding
from both sides. That half a star does that make sense.

Speaker 3 (02:28:27):
Yeah, I would almost give it that half a star
just for that one scene where Hendrickson early on he's
out like in the bayou or whatever, he's got a
raccoon on his shoulder, Like that might be worth the
half a star.

Speaker 2 (02:28:36):
Yeah, but he should have the raccoon on his shoulder
for the rest of the movie, right.

Speaker 3 (02:28:39):
That raccoon should have been hanging out the all time.
But we really have to save it at the end
of the place left fire and Anthon Edwards just like
just leave it, right. It's like I can't just leave
my raccoon in a cage, right.

Speaker 2 (02:28:49):
Well, it should have been like, you know, the monkey
in any which way but loose. He should have been
all the bassett hound and smoking the band. You know,
he should be up front, you know, sat in the
in the car while they're experiencing the delta heat exactly.
The raccoon should be driving, you know what I mean,

(02:29:10):
while while Edwards and Hendrickson are bitching in the background
about shirt materials or something.

Speaker 3 (02:29:17):
Perfect, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (02:29:18):
The only the only thing, the only thing A shirt
should feel like it's old rags. It should be made
out of old rags and disappointment. That's what a shirt
should feel like, rubbish to do. Like a shirt should
be like gray fucking silk and beautiful and should be
worn with a three piece suit.

Speaker 3 (02:29:35):
And I can't do the accents, but you know what
I'm trying to say.

Speaker 2 (02:29:38):
I do, yeah. I. Meanwhile, the raccoon is like, where
we go? We left at the lights. We left at
the lights. I'm just doing this with my little raccoon hands.
I don't even know where we're going.

Speaker 3 (02:29:50):
And we left the little little raccoon killed the wax
on wax off. Yeah, the dad got reverse.

Speaker 2 (02:29:57):
I find a place to turn around. I did ask.
They're like, well, not enough, not enough time, raccoon. We
were too busy bitching about whether the silk content of
a of a grown adult's shirt. And we've decided on
zero zero silk content. But no, this has been super fun, man,

(02:30:23):
and we'll do this again.

Speaker 3 (02:30:26):
It sounds good.

Speaker 4 (02:30:29):
Everybody can't last. Let's roasted on herbiles as a missing

(02:30:55):
She's fall away. If we find to keep on putting
in the coming horn, someone will only interfere. Well, I
fire bugs bright, but of the current horizon.

Speaker 2 (02:31:12):
And losing sight.

Speaker 5 (02:31:13):
And sometimes you're just bringing up the rig.

Speaker 4 (02:31:17):
They've trapped your hopes and dreams and destroyed your career,
and now you're nothing but a volunteer. Yeah, condes me

(02:31:39):
took too much on its shoulders, and I don't need it.
All my heart strings to the crown. If it all
goes itself, remember that we want you got to put
all your money in the cloud. I've got all the
entire copedias, but none of the obedience. And sometime you'll

(02:32:02):
get lost and misabout, and the fall is always waiting
off the youth. Get proud, but if you get lost,
get loud. Let's be hand brained. Let's be wild. Let's
reconstruct the moments when we were most to file. Let's

(02:32:24):
take a good moments to consider the alternative. Let me be
thankful that they of the heart kind of misoblay how
we live.

Speaker 5 (02:32:33):
It just might be underpaid and overtrained.

Speaker 4 (02:32:37):
When almost you can no longer be sustained, and all
the heads of the industry.

Speaker 5 (02:32:44):
Have already been named. Let's just get hand brain, Let's
just get hair brained.

Speaker 4 (02:33:14):
The discard to tape cassetts and broken crowns.

Speaker 5 (02:33:19):
She's dancing and painted on her shoes.

Speaker 4 (02:33:23):
Look meet my heads about us chasing eyes on a
crooked lion. There you no attention to all the bad reviews?

Speaker 2 (02:33:32):
Straightened up?

Speaker 5 (02:33:33):
Why right?

Speaker 3 (02:33:34):
Me married?

Speaker 4 (02:33:35):
And the ice in between the cake and the cherry,
and she had folks of will take all these.

Speaker 5 (02:33:39):
New sun strews.

Speaker 4 (02:33:41):
Pretend you have a choice and go to the motion
bag you shoes whichever way you're facing. Embrace the fact
you lose. So makes me have a Let's be unkempt.
Let's reconstruct them moments when you it's understood, that's what
I meant. Let's take a moment to consider the alternative,

(02:34:06):
to be faithful that the other kind of anticipate how
we live just by being under pain and overtrained. When
almost see you can no longer be sustained. And when
you tore down all the penners and only rainbows you'll remain,
Let's just be a brain.

Speaker 5 (02:34:29):
Let's just be ham ranged. Yeah, the when you tore
down all.

Speaker 4 (02:34:35):
The penners and only rainbow still remain, Let's just get
a braid.

Speaker 5 (02:34:42):
Let's be have brain

Speaker 3 (02:35:02):
Sc

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Season 2 - Ep 19 - Troll & Delta Heat

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Season 2 - Ep 19 - Troll & Delta Heat