Sarah Devine, The Fear of Abandonment

Being with someone who has abandonment issues can feel like dealing with a child who never gets enough sugar. Only, instead of sweets, it's emotional attention they’re after—endless, exhausting, and impossible to fully satisfy. Here’s the tough reality: you can't fill that void for them. So, What Are Abandonment Issues? At their core, abandonment issues stem from a deep fear of being left. This fear often has roots in childhood experiences—loss, neglect, or emotional unavailability from caregivers. Ironically, people who fear abandonment the most are often the ones who leave first. Whether consciously or not, they may end relationships prematurely or constantly threaten to walk away. Why? Because being the one to leave feels safer than being left behind. How It Shows Up in Relationships • Hypervigilance: They’re extremely sensitive to any shift in tone, timing, or behavior. A delayed text can feel like rejection. • Emotional Overreactions: Small disagreements may spiral into big emotional outbursts. • Control via People-Pleasing: At first, they may seem like the ideal partner— attentive, generous, and always agreeable. But this can be a way to “secure” the relationship, making it harder for you to walk away later.