Ep. 418 • How Personality & Connection Built a Following w/ Bailey Lavender - The Hair Game

Episode Transcript
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(00:10):
The Hair Game (00:00)
Hey Bailey, how's it going?
Bailey Lavender (00:02)
I'm doing well, how are you?
I'm doing amazing. For those of you, for those of our listeners who don't know you, you're a Charlotte, North Carolina hairdresser who's built a monster social media following by posting daily vids about your life as a hairstylist and a mom and everything, your life behind the chair. And it's so entertaining. I was telling Bailey before we started recording.
how much I enjoy doing my research in quotes, if you can call it that, you know, that I do before every episode. And I just, spent about five times longer than I expected to spend doing research on you because I fell into the abyss of your content.
Well, I appreciate that. I like the fact that I am not typical.
Yes.
You are not typical. And I think that's, I think the results are reflected in your engagement. I mean, you've got monster engagement. It's the type of engagement that I think has crossed the line from professional beauty, know, beauty professionals into non-beauty professionals. I haven't like dug into your comments or whatever, but ⁓ I imagine that a lot of, that a high percentage of your followers,
are not beauty professionals. They're just people who know what it's like to go to the salon. You know, they're a client of somebody and they find it all hilarious.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, and I get to meet so many different people in so many different walks of life. So like when I go to these hair shows, I get to meet all of these hairstylists that we get to relate on that kind of topic on being behind the chair and stuff. And some of them are also parents that they relate on that kind of content that I post as well. But I also in day to day life get to meet people out in the world that aren't hairstylists and they still relate with my content either behind the chair or not because sometimes
the things that I'm hitting on is not just hair related, it's how people interact and people are in social settings and they're like, yes, I had someone who was rude like that at my job and I'm not a hairstylist.
Right, yes.
So relatable, know that you put, relatable is like the word of the day here. And you actually hashtag it in a lot of your posts. And it is also relatable, but in the context of your life. And you bring your personality to it. You're obviously very outgoing and you're obviously very funny. I have friends in my life, I think everybody has friends in their social circles who are just naturally fucking hilarious.
half of the things that come out of their mouths are just so funny. you know, we love being around funny people. But you've actually made something. Like, I've got this one friend, Jamie, and she is that funny. And she's a teller at a bank. And it's one of the big, big banks.
Yes.
afternoon.
Yes.
And so she's got all sorts of people coming in and out all day long, getting their money out or complaining or this or that. She's been held at gunpoint three or four times. ⁓ There's the number of anecdotes and the level of entertainment coming out of them from her life as a teller at the bank. I've been telling her for years. like, you have to write a script. I don't know if it's a TV show, if it's a web series or whatever.
Yes.
Something.
⁓
But like what you're giving us
is absolutely amazing and you should give it to more people. But it's hard, right? Like there's the, you're funny naturally and you talk about the things that happen, you know, in your day as a hairstylist or a bank teller. And then there's the, I'm going to produce, I'm going, I hate it. Did you see that?
Yeah!
Goodbye.
The
bubbles. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't that's
not on purpose. It just happens. Okay, sorry listeners. I what the fuck you talking about? ⁓ this I was just distracted by the ⁓ by the augmented reality or whatever on the platform that we're using it. images pop up when we make certain motions. ⁓ there's a large golf between being really funny and talking to your friends over dinner and actually creating content.
You're fine.
Mm
that translates the humor properly that can be distributed on a platform that lots of people like.
hmm. ⁓
So we're gonna get into how you kind of connected those dots, but I wanna start with you personally, know, where are you from? How'd you get into this industry? You know, tell us who you are.
So I'm Bailey Lavender. ⁓ I am from the Greenville, South Carolina area and a little south of Charlotte, North Carolina. I recently moved back to North Carolina. have a one year old and we wanted to be closer to the vast majority of our family. ⁓ But I've been in the industry since I was 18, but I actually didn't want to be a hairstylist. ⁓ I refused. I was like, absolutely not. That's not for me. I wanted to be a therapist. ⁓
but I really sucked in school. I'm dyslexic and ADHD and my parents were like, listen, I really worry you're not gonna take school seriously. So I would really like for you to go into a trade. And I was already doing hair for prom and people's dates or whatever. And they're like, so just go to cosmetology school. If you do well with that, get your license. And then if you still want to be a therapist, we can go down that route after, but you'll be a little bit more mature by that point. I was like.
Fine, whatever, you don't know what you're talking about. I know myself. Right? And so then I started cosmetology school and I fell in love with it. I felt like it was like a happy medium where I got to be a therapist but also got to talk and have the drama still go on where I get to be nosy in people's lives but also the ADHD with moving around and being able to like...
Parents are so stupid, right?
have a lot going on at one time. And so I got that fun balance. I worked majority of my career in Greenville, South Carolina, grew my business significantly there. And the part of social media, like before TikTok gave fame, I had a full clientele. And I mean, I do good hair, but my personality is what kept clients in my chair. They felt safe and all that. And so they liked my comedic style. Yes. And so like,
100%.
A lot of people are like, have to do phenomenal hair to keep clients. Kinda. But a lot of it was just my personality. I truly believe that. And so...
We talk about that all
the time. We talk about, you you need to be technically good enough, right? But a lot of it, a lot of whether a client likes you and comes back is did they enjoy their time with you? Yes, of course. Did they get the, you know, the service the way that they generally wanted it? But as a lot of experts in our industry say, they don't know the difference between, you know, that last 5 %
Yes!
of the nuance of the tone or the cut or whatever. They can't tell. But if they leave having enjoyed their time with you, that's huge. That's a lot of it.
No!
Exactly, and that's also when they learned to trust me of like hey, I learned this new technique I want to try it out on you and they're like you're doing good so far Why not and so they trusted me and that's how I built my clientele even before my social media presence took off And I was in South Carolina until literally a couple months ago until we moved to North Carolina
okay. So I'm assuming you worked at a normal salon with, ⁓ and there were, mean, how did you market yourself to, but did the salon bring in clients? Did you mark, were you on Google, you know, like the basics and then you just happened to keep most of the clients that who found you.
No, so...
So how I did it was ⁓ I worked for an extension company for a while but did like toppers and extensions, the like halo type, and I was flown all over the US selling those, teaching other stylists how to install them, color them, cut them, et cetera. Well, I got married to my first marriage years ago and I decided I wanted to settle down. Moved into a salon suite and was marketing myself on Instagram and Facebook.
Interesting.
I did no Google reviews, my salon did not market for me, nothing. It was solely me educating clients via social media. So I was posting educational things that I felt like a lot of people don't tell their clients, like how to use purple shampoo, when they get in the pool, what they should do. And I was gaining clients from simply educating people without making them pay me. And they liked it and they trusted me before they even came and sat in my chair.
Right.
They trusted you before they even came to you because you had kind of positioned yourself as an expert with all this knowledge, which is so smart. And people have been talking about that for a long time ⁓ as far as a good way to do it. And clearly you were very good at that.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I really enjoy education. I am the type where I feel like a lot of people, especially in our industry, wanna gatekeep. I don't. If I learn something, I want you to learn it. I want us all to kind of like grow together. I feel like when I came in this industry, I don't know about yourself, but when I came into this industry, it was a dog eat dog world. And it was like, as many clients as I can keep, if I can triple or quadruple book myself in an hour, I'm going to and work myself to the bone, which make your money.
See you.
At the end of the day, you're going to like wear yourself thin. I want to leave this industry better than how I found it.
Well, you're absolutely right. And there was a big shift that happened around. I remember it well. So I got in the industry about 2000 and I'm not a hairstylist, but I've been around thousands of beauty professionals. And ⁓ I remember the shift of gate from gatekeeping to sharing around 2010, 11, 12, 13.
Thank
when social media came around, when Guy Tang started recording himself in our salon in West Hollywood, frankly, and I say this now and then, but at the time, a lot of the other hairdressers in the salon didn't like what he was doing.
Thank you.
You know, he was, he was walking around with the, with the phone in front of his face. That was a new thing. And a lot of the, a lot of the hairdressers coming up to me and being like, you know, can you ask him to stop doing that? I'm like, why would I?
Really?
Yeah. Yeah. Because he was sharing formulas. He was sharing secrets about the trade that a lot of people, the culture of the industry was back then. And for, for decades before it was, this is kind of our
Thank you.
secret to the trade and this is how we're going to keep our clients coming back to us is we're going to have all of these kind of ⁓ You know methods of doing things that only we know it's kind of like our intellectual property that we're not going to share with anybody and as long as we have it only we we hold the key to doing our clients hair and they have to keep keep coming back to us and Guy threw that on its head and it made a lot of people very uncomfortable
and then of course social media made it easier and easier to share things and ⁓ and then all of a sudden it was ⁓ It became clear that gaining attention gaining an audience like I did very early that was its own asset and So then people are trying to balance. Okay. Well, do I you know, do I work towards, know gaining attention and
⁓
things like that on social media, gaining a following. So my clients think that I'm more credit worthy and trustworthy and they come to me because of that, or do I hold on to those secrets? And so slowly but surely over the course of five, six, seven years, seems to have blasted open and then everybody realized that that was ridiculous to hold on to our secrets. That's kind of what I experienced.
Yeah. ⁓
I agree.
So you have been a great recipient of sharing and stuff. And I love how you explain how as an independent hairstylist without any sort of brand over you or any brand that you're relying upon, we're able to build it on your own. And that's like the greatest asset of all, is that trust that you build yourself with the clients.
Well, I have trust issues and I have so many fears of someone taking something from me, me working to...
build someone else and not my own career that I refuse for anyone to hold that over top of me or be able to have that leverage. And I was like, no, if I am gonna hit the ground running, I'm gonna do this for myself because I have to believe in myself. Because if I don't, who will?
Yeah, absolutely. 100%. And so now there's the tools that exist for this, whether it's TikTok or Instagram or YouTube, et cetera, you know, as well as places for you to work as an independent and, you know, have all the freedom and flexibility and, and, ⁓ earning potential. Okay. So, so you did that amazing. And then, ⁓ you moved to be closer. You have the cutest baby, by the way. And I, I.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Maybe I didn't go far enough into your content, but I think it's extra cute how you don't show the baby. It's like you hear the baby in the background or like you see a foot fly up or whatever. And as the father of two kids who are no longer babies, you know, I have an extra appreciation maybe for that. And so it's just extra cute and ⁓ just makes your content even more real.
Bye.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
So you moved recently to be closer to family
because of, for maybe baby help, et cetera. And so how's that going?
It's going phenomenally. We actually renovated my wife's childhood home and gutted the entire thing. Yes, and so my son's nursery is her old bedroom. Yeah, so it's really like sentimental.
⁓ that's cool.
Wow, that's neat.
Okay, so, and did you have to buy it or did somebody in her family still own it?
that her dad still owned it and gave it to us for dirt cheap. And so we were able to put money into the renovations portion that we wouldn't have been able to with a more expensive home. Yeah.
That's amazing.
Amazing. Good for you. That's so exciting. I got chills. That's so cool. Okay. And so you, how far away are we now? Is that a couple hour drive from Greenville to Raleigh? Charlotte.
Thank you.
So it's Shelby, North Carolina.
So we're like less than an hour away from Charlotte. And so because Charlotte is so close and no one knows where Shelby is, I just say that I'm a little outside of Charlotte. But technically I'm in Shelby, North Carolina, which is an hour and a half from where Greenville is. rare, like it is very few far in between that any of my clients decided to go to anyone else. Like they're just making drive. Not a big deal.
I was gonna say, hour and a half, you know,
for a hairdresser and a personality and a human that they love, that's not that, yeah, it's annoying, but it's not annoying enough. I mean, if they're coming in every what? Two, three months.
Because my clients are low maintenance. I have transitioned every single one of them into a low maintenance color just simply because that's where my heart is. And so not a single one of them is high maintenance. So it's not like they're coming often at all.
So are you in an independent situation in your new place? Great.
Yes, I'm
in a suite as well. It's just a smaller suite, but I kind of like it better.
Okay, why?
It's a little bit more cozy. I feel like my last week it was so big, I didn't know what to do with all the space and there was a lot of wasted area and I was paying a good bit for it and I couldn't figure out like, should I put a couch there? Should I put a dryer there? Should I, whatever. And here I feel like it's more intimate and it forces me to leave the room while my client's processing so that I don't interact with the other girls there and I actually have a really good relationship now with the girls that I work with.
I had like a few girls at my old salon, but this one, like every single person at that salon I'm close with so far. Yeah, it's really neat.
I love that. I mean, it looks comfortable to me on social.
Maybe that's because you're a good videographer or whatever, but ⁓ yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Okay, so let's talk about your content creation. mean, this is obviously a big part, this has become part of your business now, right? I mean, ⁓ I don't know if or how I assume you are monetizing it, but you probably started as just a way to educate like you had described, but you didn't really expect for it to become a thing.
Yes.
Yes.
We're ready to investigate. Thank you.
Did you recognize your comedic talent or your per per day? I hate to say production talent because it's not like high production quality, but it's entertaining. It's it's more entertaining because it's not high production quality. So did you understand that you're a good content creator? You know, I don't know two years ago.
So I didn't know I was a good content creator. I've always known that I'm theatrical. I have been since I was little. I would put on like
theater shows in front of my family and that kind of thing. It was nothing new. Then I was a theater geek in school. I was also a dancer. And so like being in front of people and pointing myself out, there was never an issue for me. But I was wanting to build my clientele. I was wanting to like upcharge. I was wanting more clients that were my kind of vibe, not just anybody that maybe we didn't vibe well. So I was trying to put myself out there more.
Mmm.
Outside of the fully professional Bailey, I wanted them to see who I am. And so I was like, you know what, if people leave me, so be it, or I'll get new people. And so I finally started showing who I was on social media and I had some people go and some people come. But what was the changing point of social media for me is the series called Salon from Hell. It's the first salon that I ever worked at. And it was where I told in skit form,
the horrific stories of that salon and how horribly they treated me ⁓ and the other girls that worked there with me. And it turned into this very big thing where like on my YouTube, I have it all categorized on there. And it's like, I think over at least over 70 videos of that series. Yeah, over that, yeah. Yeah.
7d? 7-0?
70 videos
about your horrible salon
Yes.
I I thought when you were describing it, I'm like, she put up like four or five videos about her bad slugs.
No, there's like 70 videos of it or more.
Yeah. It was really, really bad. And so, and then with that, so I kind of took it off.
You basically created
a TV show about, you know, like a seven year TV show equivalent of your bat. Okay, so on YouTube, are you the Bailey Lavender also? I'm going there right now. And the listeners I know as they're driving to their salons, they're like veering off the road as they're searching for the Bailey Lavender.
Yes.
Mm-hmm. Yes.
It was my,
I loved it and that's where a lot of people found me was relating with the skits and not like I said, not even just hairstylists. There were people that have just simply worked with the public that are like, I've had a boss like this. And I was like, I hate that you relate with this, but glad that I'm not crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah,
that's the great thing about our industry, right? Is everybody interacts with it. Everybody interacts with it. So everybody, there's a, there's enough familiarity with it to be able to relate to their own specific experiences. ⁓ Okay, so from YouTube, if I were to find this 70 video series, I would click on
Mm-hmm.
Thank
Mm-hmm.
So there's, I'm on the home right now. Videos, shorts, playlists. Is it on a playlist? Okay.
It'll be on a playlist and it should be
the salon from hell.
The Salon from Hell playlist. ⁓ my God. More than half a million views. This is incredible. Okay, so these are only a year old. So these are, I mean, in the landscape of content, these are almost new. Actually, well, no, they go back two years. So you just kept creating videos. This is amazing. All right, well.
They go back a couple years. Yeah.
Because I
was like, I got more stories. If y'all like this, I'll keep telling you. And the part that was funny is how many people later on after watching them found out that they're true stories, that the names are altered, of course, to protect people that are associated with it. that, exactly, because they were so happy. ⁓ But I was like, I'm changing everybody's name, but a lot of people thought that I had made everything up.
Yeah.
Hmm.
to protect yourself legally.
And then when they realized that they were all true, people were floored.
That's my wife. So if we're watching a movie and she doesn't know that it's a true story, then she's like, okay, into it, she'll fall asleep halfway through. But if she knows it's a true story, then she'll at least watch three quarters of it before she falls asleep.
That's kind of like true crime if people are more interested in that.
Right. Of course, that's
like 90 % of the entertainment is like, wow, this actually happened. Okay, so the you made these videos over the course of about a year. And, wow, you've got some like makeup, you did some makeup on yourself, I'm assuming to play a part like a different role of somebody in the salon.
There's
multiple, if you go through them, there's different characters and each character has, it looks like it's makeup, but it's filters, because I filmed it all on TikTok at the time. But each character had their own filter that I would use for that particular person and then their name was altered. ⁓
smart.
people would get so angry and so often in my comment section I would get people saying, I forget that it's you playing all these parts and I get so mad at you.
⁓
Because you're playing the antagonist. Okay, so, ⁓ and these are short videos, by the way, you minute and half, two minutes. ⁓ Okay, so was this kind of, you said that this was where it started, so to speak, like your content creation. So again, relatively new. And then you've just kind of been on fire, it seems like since then, and you're now creating videos daily.
Exactly.
Yes.
and you post across TikTok, Instagram, YouTube.
post TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and then sometimes Snapchat if I'm remember.
and the same video, I assume.
⁓ daily, I try to post, like, everywhere, but you know, sometimes, mom life.
And the...
Exactly. The baby cries, duty calls. ⁓ And so you're posting the same video. You're not creating different videos. That's impossible. I mean, take too long.
Yes.
Yes and no.
So on short form, yes. So like if you go onto TikTok and you've watched my short form video on TikTok, if you go onto shorts on YouTube, then yes, you're going to see the same video that day. But I have videos where, so I'm starting to do, now that I'm in Shelby and I have more time, I'm taking some of these larger transformations and I'm able to take them on, fix them. And then the goal of these transformations, after I get them to a manageable low maintenance type,
of fixable hair, then I place them with their Forever Stylist so that I'm not keeping them. I fix what's going on. I do it at a more reasonable price because some of these people can't afford a big transformation because they're expensive. And so I place them with their Forever Stylist that is their specialty. So like they're acrylic specialist or they're a low maintenance specialist, blonde, red, whatever it is.
That way it keeps my books a little bit more open so that I can do more with that. But with that being said, I'm filming those long form and I'm educating those on YouTube as well and telling people why I'm doing the things that I'm doing, why I'm using the color lines that I'm using, the techniques or whatever.
Well, I mean, that's why you're a beloved neighbor in your salon, because you're feeding everybody good clients. It's fantastic. Okay, well, all that makes sense. So I imagine you're spending a lot of time editing.
Yes. Yes. No, that's, that's me. It's me. I, ⁓ and actually any of her content that she posts I edit it as well because I don't like how she edits. I'm a control freak.
How much time you spending? Are you editing or is your wife editing or who's hel- is anybody helping? Is your baby editing?
She's
posting too? On her page? ⁓ is it similar content?
Yeah. Uh-huh.
So hers is similar-ish, but she's not a hairstyle. So she posts being a parent or yard work. Hers is kind of a little bit all over the place. Hers is not nearly as regular as mine, but a lot of people, they really enjoyed her content there for a while, because I did. For a little bit, I got into like, have you heard of thirst traps?
Got it.
No.
So thirst traps are like where you do a video that's like for attention seeking and it's like where you look really pretty or you know that you you feel attractive in it, right? And she would ⁓ do what the video and show how interested she was in me. And people loved watching her reaction to a video that she had not seen of me yet and doing a thirst trap. And so a lot of people liked watching those videos of her seeing the our relationship grow when we were early on.
⁓
Got it, got it. So much humanity
here. It's just like so much humanity. You know, all the interesting things that we do as humans that we have as humans. Yeah. Okay. So you're spending, what percentage of your time are you spending filming and editing?
Yeah, I right?
So for TikTok, if I'm doing a short form video, it'll probably take me less than 30 minutes to edit three or four different videos in one setting, because I've gotten really fast at that. But if we're editing a four or five hour appointment that is going for a long form, I'm taking an hour to two hours to edit that.
Yeah.
Makes sense. And what are you using to edit?
CapCut. Which, if it goes away with TikTok, I'm gonna find something else.
Of course, believe me, the industry will give you something else. Something, I'm sure there's many things out there that, you know, are trying to get attention for their quality editing. Yeah. Okay. And then the, as I'm going through the videos, they're all entertaining. And so as I think about she's posting daily, I can't...
If something else will come.
For sure.
think of something interesting to post monthly. How are you coming up with daily things that are interesting to post? You must have, do you keep a list somewhere on your phone? You come up with ideas and then you kind of write them down and then you kind of work through the list. Do you sometimes create two bits of content in one day and then kind of spread them out so you have a pipeline, so to speak? How do you do it?
Okay.
I have so many drafts of like, you know how there's a trending song? If I know that I'm in good lighting, I like how I look that day or whatever's going on behind me is relatable to what I'm trying to post about, I go ahead and I film in that moment and I have it in my drafts for any day that I don't have.
what I call like good content of something that's like skit related or hair in the salon related, something that's more relatable, being a mom, being a parent, being a wife, sister, daughter, whatever, I will have those as a backup, right? And so I'm able to throw those in as like making sure I'm staying on the For You page, that I'm staying relatable, that I'm not getting forgotten. Now.
Mm-hmm.
A lot of my skits that I'm doing now, I have great clients now. So I don't really have the skit stuff from my own life. These are from when people send them in. These are people that don't want to talk about it on their own platform about someone treating them horribly, boss, receptionist, hairstylist, whatever. And I'll just take their story that they want me to reenact and I reproduce that. So I have like email threads of where...
Charlie goes through and she'll look at all these emails and flag the ones that are the most dramatic and allow me to go through and figure out what, say I'm more dramatic one day than another, that's day I'm throw together something and have like a multiple part series because I feel the most dramatic that day.
Amazing. So awesome. Okay. ⁓ Have you ever posted something that got you in trouble in some way, either with the audience or with a brand or somebody?
Not with a brand or anything like that. I wouldn't even say in trouble. I growing up ⁓ I don't know if you've noticed this but growing up you are you were there's words used around you that you don't realize are not okay to say Like of course, there's certain ones that you know are never allowed But there's certain words that I found out that I would reference to that I did not know were okay to use and social media Was like hey, no, no, no, you can't say that
Yeah. Right.
immediately take the video down, make
apology, so sorry I didn't know, I know now, and no longer use the term or the reference. And just put it in the caption after I edit the video and make sure that part is out and then repost it.
Yeah, I can see that. Okay, so given this is kind of part of your business, you're a quasi professional entertainer. How do you monetize this? mean, YouTube pays you TikTok, know, pays per view, I think.
Sometimes they change it. So sometimes I feel like I have a you know I've talked to a creator and they tell me the details of how it works and then it changes six months later. So but you're getting paid to tell us how it works.
Thank you. ⁓
So I'll be honest with you like it like what you just said I feel like it changes every time I turn around ⁓ I'm trying really hard to get the YouTube up and going because that I feel like is long game right it is the most You can monetize the best off of it. I feel like that one's been tried and true You're good if you get on there You're set if you get on there and any view that you get on YouTube. It's for life So if you get a new view you still get paid off a video no matter if it was three years ago or not
where TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, it's the past 30 days. TikTok, yeah, TikTok at one point, last time I looked into the rules at least. TikTok at one point, and I'm pretty sure it's still that way now, it has to be over a minute, and it has to be where someone viewed the video on the For You page. Someone can't go onto your page, look through your videos, and you get paid off of that.
⁓ only? Interesting.
Instagram, they don't pay you nothing, hardly anything. Facebook is decently well at that. And I'll be honest with you, Facebook confuses me, because sometimes they say you're going to pay a certain amount and you don't. So I don't know where the view or the money comes from that one or not. I don't really know. I'm still trying to learn it, but whatever. But a lot of it's like brand deals, or I'm still working behind the chairs, so I get paid from that as well.
Yeah.
All right.
Yep.
A lot
of people have asked me if I'm ever gonna stop. I'm like, no, I really like it.
Yeah, if you like it and it's the source of content and it's a source of educational content that you already said you really like to do. And I like those videos too. You know, when you have a client who is a new client, you talk about how scary it is that there's a new client and like the funny way that you express all that is just is super entertaining. So if you weren't behind the chair, you wouldn't quite, you know, your feet wouldn't be on the ground of
Exactly.
Thank you.
of creating the content that everybody likes so much.
the relate- relatability wouldn't be there.
The relatability, absolutely.
So you said that your followers send you ideas, things that they've experienced and then you decide what to create, what to do skits on. Has there ever been something that you read and you were like, whoa, like, I don't think I should do that.
No, because I'll be honest with you, the more of the crazy, the better. I want the crazy. Like, one of my best stories was about a woman who lost her, like, and it wasn't even my story, it was about a woman who came into this salon, didn't like the haircut that she got or something like that, because a couple years ago I did it. ⁓
Yeah.
and then came back into the salon, started throwing products around, injured an elderly lady, police had to be called. Like was this whole ordeal and it was supposedly based in Canada and I was like, I was looking for a mugshot. I wanted to see what this crazy lady looked like. They didn't know her name and everything and they couldn't remember exact dates but I was like, this is wild. And there was the person who sent me the email was another client in the salon getting their own hair done that day, witnessing all
So it's not just stylists sending in their own crazy stories of clients. I mean, it's everywhere. It's salon owners with bad stylists, bad stylists with salon owners, clients, the whole shebang.
Okay.
Yeah, right. That's awesome. How do you, but how do you do a skit on that?
Mm-hmm.
You either throw on different wigs and throw out and you, like I have to create a timeline, right? And a lot of times I have to do multiple parts so that I can get all the information in, because we're doing it in a minute and half or under. Can't go too much longer than that. And a lot of people get mad that I don't post it all in one sitting, but then you swarm the algorithm and they're not gonna like it. But you.
Yeah.
Right. Mm-hmm.
You make the timeline and then you just kind of like have fun with it. You allow conversation to be had. You know the conversations. This is way I look at it. When you're in the bathroom and you're waiting to go to work and you know that that person's going to say something off the wall and you're prepping yourself for this is what I'm going to say if they say this and you're looking in the mirror and you're having that kind of conversation or in the shower. It's like that. But just filmed. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, right. Just filmed.
That's so interesting.
Alright, so I think about where you are now in your career and where do your new clients come from?
Social media. I have some people that are from the area that I live. Some people are driving hours to get to where I am. Some people are, because I've not fully opened my books. We're still filtering through new clients. Some people are saying they're gonna fly in if I allow to take them on. I've, it's wild, because I've not taken on a client in I think two or three years. These are all like I've had set clients. I knew what they were coming in to get.
So.
And so this has been a very scary transition for me because of social media. I have this huge fear that someone is going to come in and I think they love their hair, but they're coming in just to get like stuff to bash me on.
Right, yeah, totally. It totally changed it. And that's why I asked the question because you've created a situation, you've created a, you know, you're not a normal hairstylist anymore, right? And so the people who are looking at you on social, I imagine a lot of people who would like to get their hair done by you are thinking, well, she's...
Mm-hmm.
you know, she's, ⁓ know, Insta famous or Tik Tok famous or whatever. She probably isn't going to respond to my DM. So it kind of, it seems like, you know, the, the, all the size of your accounts have created a barrier between you and potential clients. And that's why I asked the question, because I'm wondering if people are more or less likely, you know, to
And.
to try to be one of your clients. And then, and of course there are going to be a percentage who will try to be one of your clients because of the following. And then there's the opposite who won't because of the following. And then I wonder if those who are more likely to be one of your, want to be one of your clients because of your following are potentially better clients or potentially worse clients. And this is kind of what you just described.
Exactly.
you know because their intention is no longer just what they're getting as a service their intention could very much be you said bashing you that's like the worst case scenario but it could just be you know to be in one of your videos it gets lots of views ⁓ you know so it's
Yeah.
And
that's the thing is like you never really know until after the fact if they reach back out, they want to reschedule, whatever it may be. Like you know as a stylist when the appointment's over, if it went well or not, if you vibed or not. And these people...
I'm meeting them for the first time and you never know if your energies are gonna mesh or not until you're there. And then these people sometimes are traveling in from hours away. Some of these people have yet to, but saying they're gonna fly in. You're kind of stuck there with me for a little bit. And if we don't vibe, it's rough.
Right.
Right. And you don't, do you film every single appointment?
These new clients, it's, I want every new client to be filmed and that is a part of the new criteria. Now there are certain people that I know their life and I know what's going on and I know certain appointments can't be filmed. Like there's certain things that go on in day-to-day life, divorce, ⁓ miscarriages, death in the family. There's certain things that people talk to me as a stylist or just a stylist in general.
that appointment is not going to be filmed because that's just not okay. Like you need time to be able to vent if I'm your safe space. But ultimately social media is also my job and so I have to make sure I'm filming these new appointments so that I can still do both of my jobs to provide for my family. And so that's, it's a hard balance.
Mm-hmm, absolutely.
It is a hard bounce. Do you get releases? Do you have them sign releases? Yep, smart.
release of liability and photography and video releases as well. And I wish I would have done it and thankfully nothing bad has come of it, but I wish I would have started doing it even before social media presence simply to post my work. I think that now as having the following that I do, I realized how important it is just to cover your own butt and I wish early on I would have started doing that just to cover myself.
Because I'm now looking back, like, do you know how bad it could have gotten if someone was like, hey, I don't like that picture, take it down, you're not allowed to market me, now I'm going to sue you.
Mm-hmm.
Right, 100%. I'm sure this part of the law is well-worn by this point, but I've never heard of there being any issues in our industry. But you're following us to the size where it's important for you to protect yourself because not every client, well, I mean, there could be traps out there, just like we said, there could be clients coming in just ⁓ because they are malicious in some way. ⁓
My name's Joe.
Yeah.
But the service really, the type of service is changed for your clients. It's a different sort of service. so having a release is just another signal to them that this is a little different than going to a normal hairstylist. You might be out there and some people who know you might see it. And your content's...
Yeah.
Okay.
very funny and it's fun loving and stuff, ⁓ you never know. Somebody might be sensitive about this or that.
and we'll next time.
Exactly, like you may get them at an angle they don't like or whatever it may be. Some people have a lot going on and it could just be the camel that broke the straw or a straw broke the camel's back or something that just tips them over the scale and I just want to protect myself.
Let's talk about comments. So I know YouTube can be brutal, ⁓ other places less brutal, but how much time do you spend or do you have anyone who helps you? Maybe Charlie, she helps you go through comments and comb through it and just make sure that nothing bad's going on in there.
Yes.
Something interesting.
⁓ So early on I was really bad about looking through all of my comments but that took up a lot of time and mental capacity to do so because I mean during those skits I was every single one of those skits I was getting a crap ton of views right and so that was just a lot of interaction a lot of people commenting and it was a lot of people didn't agree with what sassy Bailey would say and so they would say horrendous things about me and I'd get my feelings hurt but as time went on
I got thicker skin and I allowed it to happen. And then now it's gotten to the point where I almost don't have to watch out for mean comments because I have, I call them my friends. Okay, so I have met amazing people on social media that I may have never met a day in my life in person, but I know them via social media and I know their faces if I saw them out in public.
And because of them, they look through my comment section. They check to make sure no one's being fouled. And if it gets to a point that I need to do something about it, delete it or block it, they let me know privately. ⁓ But a lot of times people just fight it out in my comment section and I let them because interaction.
Yeah, right. Very interesting life you've created for yourself. YouTube is the worst. That's what I always hear. Yeah. Facebook. yeah. I mean, I haven't spent time on Facebook in a long time, ⁓ much less reading comments on somebody's posts on Facebook. But I'm surprised Facebook, because that's an older demo. Yeah.
Yeah, the worst one is YouTube though. They're, they're... YouTube and Facebook, they battle it out on which ones looks...
next.
space about.
Yeah, it is and ⁓ they weren't nearly as bad before the adoption of my son and a lot of people view adoption of a child to be stealing a baby and people made that very clear that, especially on Facebook, that they viewed me as stealing a baby from a mother and that was not the case. If you know adoption, you know that's not true.
Eww.
Got it.
That sounds
right, of course.
And so it's been a wild
experience on Facebook where I was excited to share my experience of becoming a parent and welcoming my child to this world. And the hate that I received on there was not what I expected. Yeah.
So unfortunate and so wrong. I mean the
adoption is such an important part of you know, the way we do things as humans Extremely important if you value a little baby human at all ⁓ But yeah, surprise that you're gonna get certain opinions even fringe ones ⁓
Thank you.
and those are going to be loud and maybe disproportionate to what else is going on out there. And of course, the internet is that it's like the place for opinions like that.
A lot of people ask me how I deal with them and a lot of times like early on I would delete it, I would block it. But now I've gotten to the point where so many people are accustomed to my sassy self or my like very dramatic self. I just have started giving back what I get and some people hate it, some people don't. ⁓ But I think a lot of people, especially growing their following, growing in their career, they don't feel like they can say what they want back.
And so people get to say whatever they want and get away with it. And I don't allow it on my page. Or if I see it on someone else's, you took that step, you crossed the line. Hello, here's Bailey. And I get to say what I want back. And a lot of people are shocked. Yes. And a lot of people don't like it.
Yeah.
So you respond. Yeah, yeah.
Right. Of course. It's like the whole road rage thing, right? People, when they're in the comfort of their car, they can rage around. And then when they're out in public, they're very nice people. Maybe they're raging inside and they keep it in. But the internet...
allows us that same anonymity to some degree, especially some of these troll accounts that like you click through on somebody's horrible comment and like the people never posted, there's no information, you know.
There was, I I teach at hair shows as well, I know if you know that, but I was at a class in Orlando when Premier Orlando was going on, and this two men who own the salon raised their hand and asked how to deal with hate comments or hate reviews on Google. That this lady had come in to get her haircut and they thought it was a phenomenal haircut from one of their stylists, that's a very good stylist, and then afterwards she left a horrendous review on their Googles.
and they're trying to grow their salon. So they're very worried that that's gonna be bad if we advise them to delete it or whatever. And I was like, no, if I review, what I would do is I would take the Google review and post it and take a picture of her hair and post it and name it the worst hair, come get your hair done with the worst haircut or whatever, like use it as marketing tools. Like if that's the worst that someone's gonna get at your salon.
I've seen way worse. Use it as marketing tools and they were like, holy cow, I didn't even think about that. And it was just like, stop letting people tear you down. Let the people below you stay below you so you can keep walking up.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's fascinating. Turn it on its head, use it. It requires a little bit of creativity to do that well. And it requires a little chutzpah to do that well. But I think that's a good response because I think we've all experienced in this industry, all of our listeners are beauty professionals, service providers who are subject to irrational, incorrect, like verging on fraudulent.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
I don't know fraudulence is right word, but we all understand shitty reviews with no basis in reality and that could have a real impact on our business and you know, it's like and in the same for the same for you know, salon Republic we've got about 80 employees and You know, we have great relationships with all of our employees
All right.
Many have been with us for so long now and then we hire somebody who's not a very good employee You know, they don't show up to
work They don't do what they're supposed to do there You know this and that and so we let them go and then they go on to these career sites and they give us a bad review and it's like wait a second you were one of the worst employees that we've ever had in 25 years and now you're gonna go put a review on our career site and try to ding us like like
Okay. ⁓
It's just so unjust, right? And so every hairstylist has experienced this and it's really hard to just let it sit out there.
So I love that kind of advice to respond and to do so in a way that is really speaking to the visitors to your site who are considering whether to use you as a hairstylist, less responding to the actual reviewer, right?
Yeah. Do you think this is the worst haircut you can get here? Here you go.
Yeah, and it's pretty damn good. So that means that we're a good place for you as somebody looking for a new hairstylist. Yep, pretty good, pretty good stuff.
If you could wave a wand and change anything about the industry right now, what would it be?
If you're willing to change anything.
think a lot of what I would want to change is in the mental health aspect where people are told that you've just got to work through it instead of figuring out a way to fix it, right? Of where bad bosses, bad clients, bad employees, people are told just deal with it and keep going instead of figuring out a way to make it better or better verbiage.
worked at the salon that I was at for so long because I was learning so much, but I was also told that I would never make it in the industry without them. And I would never do well in the industry in general, but especially without them. And I believed it because I didn't know what else was out there. I didn't know how to interview. I didn't know what to look for in a salon because I was so excited to be at that salon and to learn from them.
that the thought if I can't make it here, I can't make it anywhere. And it affected my mental health more than I understood. And I almost left the industry altogether. I'm the only stylist from that salon that's still working in this industry. Yes.
Really, holy mackerel.
mean, if you, yeah, I was just thinking why it was that bad, but this is the salon that you did 70 videos on.
That's a lot of things to tell, yeah.
And so I'm such a mental health advocate because of my experience that I truly believe that if we, I don't know exactly what could change to help it, but I feel like if there was a way to push mental health advocacy of like taking the time off that we need, sharing clients if we need to, to be able to take a break.
of taking a day off that we need and then not worrying about that client never coming back because that stylist is talking horribly about you, whatever the situation is. I feel like mental health, because we are so close to so many people, we take everything on and we're never taught how to release it. We're never taught how to leave it at the salon. We're sometimes 16, 17, 18 years old and we're learning how to go into this field and we're just like, here's all these tools to do good hair, good luck.
And here comes all the baggage from the general public that'll be left with you at your feet every day. Yeah.
every single day and then at the
end of the day, you go home questioning, is she safe at home? Did she break up with that guy? Did she get the job? Did she go to the therapy appointment she was supposed to? Like all these different questions, it's not even hair related that we question. It's about the person that sometimes you get to see again. Sometimes they go to a different stylist and you're stuck wondering why.
You know, it's very interesting as you're describing this. And of course, this has been part of the industry for all of my experience in it. And I just kind of connected the dots between, know a decent number of doctors, not because I've had unique problems, but just because my wife was in the medical business. And so I've become friends with a good number of doctors and they...
they deal with a lot of the same thing. Of course, the people are coming to them who have serious problems, like literal, you know, physical problems and mental in some cases. And what is that like when they get in a car at the end of the day and drive home? It's like some of these people are going to die. Right. So how do you, how do you maintain your sanity on a daily basis?
Yeah,
do they have classes that they go to that they're taught coping skills? Like what does that look like?
Maybe, but not that I've ever heard of. I think they just compartmentalize. And because when I talk to them about it, they have a natural emotional separation between what their patients are going through and their own personal life. ⁓
Yeah, I haven't either.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And they of course are invested in what their patients are going through professionally. And they approach it in a very academic way. Like, here's a problem, you know, A, and then what's the solution to the problem? Let's say it's B. So they implement B as well as they can. But A, for a normal human, is all wrapped up in emotions and... ⁓
things, you know, ⁓ that unless you're practiced at it or skilled, it can really weigh on you, kind of like how you described with a hairdresser behind the chair. So that's interesting though. Do they have any sorts of ⁓ classes or any guidance on that? I'm gonna ask one of them next time.
Yeah,
because I would love to know because I have so many people that come to me social media related How do you deal with the hate but I get in the past I've gotten just as much hate from clients or not even hate the negative side of the things that people Want to express to you because you're the safe space
But then now what do I do with this information? Because I don't need to tell anybody, it's not my information to tell. Do we write it down? Do we journal it? Do we go to a therapy appointment ourselves? What does that look like?
Mm-hmm.
Is it nothing? Is it nothing that we do with it?
Do we learn how to erase it and move on and become almost cold? Because that is one thing in our industry is we are extremely people, like extreme people pleasers. So can we do that without having the emotion of loving so hard with our clients?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's something I can't answer. Or, you know, it's a, think it's a very personal thing. It's a great question. And I wonder, I kind of, ⁓ I'm inspired to do an episode with a therapist about that. I've actually thought about this for, I have my own ideas for podcast episodes and you know, we kind of clicked down in them. And one of them has been on there for a while, has been talking to a therapist about how you do that.
So.
Yeah.
You you essentially summarized it. ⁓ So there you go. Okay, we're gonna, listeners, we're gonna do an episode like that one of these days. ⁓ And maybe Bailey would be like a guest guest ⁓ participant. You can like come in for half of it or something. I don't know. That would be fun. All right. So this is normally when I asked for, I asked for a hair horror story.
Thanks.
I love that. ⁓
I would love it.
I would be honored.
and you have lots and you've put them all on social media. Do you have any particular ones that you entertain us with? ⁓
Yes.
The one that I always go to, and it's not even the worst one. It's just, feel like a lot of people would relate with this. I stupidly gave out myself a number to my clients early on in my career and I kept a lot of them for a very long time. And then when all of us went through COVID ⁓ in South Carolina, we were closed down for two to three months. I can't remember exactly the length that we were. And I was trying to get my clients to come back in in a organized fashion. And so the week that I closed down is where I put a pause.
And then those people from that week are the first ones I was gonna put back in and then just like shift everybody down. Well, it was a lot going on trying to get people in. The sanitation was more than normal, even though it's already a lot. And it was just, I was trying my best. ⁓ And I had a client that I was running 15 minutes late on. And I'll be extremely honest with you. The max I ever am running late is about five.
in my entire career. I do not run late. I'm very weird about it. And so I texted her and was like, hey, I'm running 15 minutes late. I'm so sorry. I know you have kids. Do you need to reschedule? Do you want me to do something different? Like, what do you want to do here? And she blew her lid and was very upset that I was running 15 minutes late. That I completely ruined her day. And so was like, it's completely fine. Don't worry about coming in. I will reschedule you when you let me know to your earliest convenience.
She stopped messaging me until three o'clock in the morning when she started blowing up my phone call after call after call text after text after text Saying that she finally is okay with allowing me to do her hair again at a discounted rate ⁓ And that it will be at her convenience when she says at the price that she states all over be being 15 minutes behind schedule which Devils advocate I know a lot of stylists who run late regularly sounds like
Huh.
Yeah,
Come on, man.
and historically you've been so good with being on time, there should be some grace and tolerance for this one time that you were only 15 minutes late, but she didn't see it that way.
Yes.
Yes.
She was a client of mine for three or four years. So she knew it was irregular for me that I'd never do that. Extremely apologetic. And it just, was to the point where she started going on to the Salon Now Work That's page, leaving horrible reviews, leaving horrible reviews on my own page. And mind you, social media was not my thing yet. Like it was solely, my income was solely from working behind the chair. And so that was scaring me so bad.
⁓
Bailey Lavender (1:00:05)
I was begging her to stop to the point where I had to block her on everything. I sent her one final text saying I will no longer be her stylist, sent her a list of good stylists in the area that I was not super close with because I didn't want that.
The Hair Game (1:00:17)
So you're
your worst enemies so you set our list your worst enemies
No, I was not that mean. I just sent her to good stylist I was not friends with. It was like, hey, go to them, buy and blocked her from my phone, from the social media accounts and everything. So was like, I can't do this. I need better clients than this. And her spot easily got filled. But it was a lot, especially right after COVID.
So hopefully she went to a stylist who's regularly half hour late. Yeah, too bad. I mean, she obviously felt spurned and she felt a power shift and she felt like she needed to get that power back over you, which is not a healthy dynamic between a client and a hairstyle. So good riddance, but too bad, of course. Any last words for the community?
Do something today that scares you. Social media was absolutely terrifying to me, putting myself out there, being scared that my friends, family, or clients would make fun of me, and they do from time to time because I act a fool, but ultimately it has allowed me to live a life I never expected and allowed me to meet people I never would have expected to meet and hear stories that are ever enlightening. So do something today crazy and you never thought would be able to happen and surprise yourself.
Be brave. Do something brave today. Love it. Awesome, Bailey. This is so much fun.
Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

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Ep. 418 • How Personality & Connection Built a Following w/ Bailey Lavender

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 418 • How Personality & Connection Built a Following w/ Bailey Lavender