July 23, 2024 • 49 mins
Ever wonder what it takes to pivot from a profit-centric entrepreneur to a beacon of guidance in the vast ocean of personal development? Brad Chandler, a luminary in real estate and life coaching, joined me, Gwamen Twyford, to chart this transformative journey. Together, we navigated the waters of self-love and unwavering positivity, illuminating the true north for seekers of professional and personal enrichment.
Our voyage delved into the undercurrents of childhood trauma and the potent influence it has on our adult lives, surfacing practical wisdom on nurturing self-love amidst the ebb and flow of life’s challenges. Brad's insights into the art of parenting with compassion, and the importance of connection over correction, provided a lifeline for listeners caught in the riptides of family dynamics. Our conversation was a testament to the healing power of self-awareness and the bold steps toward reclaiming one's happiness.
As we cast our nets wider, we explored the deceptive shallows where wealth masquerades as happiness. Brad and I shared tales of conquering fears and scarcity, emphasizing the richness of helping others and the fulfillment that comes from chasing passion over profit. The episode closed with a reminder to cherish life's simple joys, drawing from the melodies of George Strait to the solace of a good book at twilight. Tune in for an episode that throws an anchor into the bedrock of self-growth and casts a light on the path to a more rewarding life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (00:02):
Hey everybody , welcome to The Most Dwanderful
Real Estate Podcast Ever.
I am so excited that you'rehere today.
This is my backyard in Florida,so you've been watching me Zoom
the last few weeks in theactual yard, but today we
thought we'd try it and see howit looks as my background.
(00:22):
So I'm Dwan Bent-T wyford.
I'm America's most sought afterreal estate investor.
I'm super excited you're heretoday.
Our motto at Dwanderful ispeople before profits, so if
that resonates with you, you'reat the right place.
I'm your girl and I've got yourguy.
Today I have Brad Chandler.
He is a wicked smart man.
(00:44):
So, Brad, how are you today?
Brad Chandler (00:47):
I'm awesome and I love your view from behind you.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (00:50):
Yes, well, that is.
Brad Chandler (00:52):
I went out just this very morning, took a
picture and I'm like, yeah, Ilike it, I'd much rather, you
should have invited me to dothis podcast live, because I'd
much rather be there than incold Virginia.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:03):
Well, you know, we can always do another
one in a few months and you justcome right down and I've got
another chair right here next tome and we'll do it live.
Brad Chandler (01:11):
Let's do.
It Sounds good.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:12):
I tell people all the time hey, if you want
to come do one in Florida, I'mtotally game to do them live.
Brad Chandler (01:18):
Sweet.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:20):
All right, so everyone that's watching you
can reach me at dwanderful.
com.
So I took my name Dwan andwonderful, and I made a new word
and we're going to dive in andtalk to Brad.
But, brad, first of all we liketo have a toast.
So are you drinking something Iactually have?
(01:41):
What is that?
Brad Chandler (01:43):
It's a big old water pitcher, oh.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:45):
I have this new one.
Bill got me this.
It says wipey.
Brad Chandler (01:50):
Love it.
What are we toasting?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:53):
To you.
Thank you for being on the show, cheers Everyone that's
watching.
Take a drink, everybody.
Take a stretch, wrap yourselfand get back in here with us and
hang out with us for a littlewhile and I guarantee that you
are going to have a good time.
So I feel like, kind of the waywe do it is, we just sort of
(02:15):
talk and we start off, like Isaid, with a toast, we do a
little stretch and we just wantpeople to feel like they're
sitting with us hanging out andlistening to this amazing
conversation.
Brad Chandler (02:28):
Love it.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (02:29):
That's kind of the deal.
So the first thing I like to do, I'm throwing you straight into
the wolves.
I want you to tell everybodyjust in a couple of sentences
what you do and how people canreach you, and then we're going
to.
I've got some questions.
Oh see, there's my screen.
You can't see it.
Brad Chandler (03:03):
Yeah, what's my deal?
Well, before I tell you my deal, I love the freaking people
over profits because for 47years I put profits over people
because I was trying to provesomething, because I didn't feel
worthy.
So absolutely love that.
We should come back to that.
But what's my story?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (03:20):
Real quick because I'm going to ask you
questions.
Brad Chandler (03:24):
Okay, yeah, I own a real estate investment
company that does a couplehundred houses a year.
It runs without me and I spendall of my time helping
entrepreneurs overcominglimiting beliefs from childhood
that they don't even knowtypically exist, that are
causing them to have whateverissue they're having in life
their struggles, their badmarriage, or eating or drinking,
(03:47):
or depression, anxiety and Ihelp them overcome that and,
when they do, they get to live alife of freedom and happiness
that they deserve.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (03:55):
They do deserve it.
And tell everybody how to findyou social media, your website.
I want all your info in thebeginning of the show notes.
Brad Chandler (04:03):
Yeah, brad Chandlercom forward slash
contact has literally even mycell phone number.
My self-love quiz, my, mypodcast, everything can be.
All my social links can befound at Brad Chandlercom
forward slash contact.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (04:17):
Okay, that's easy enough.
And Chandler is C H A N D L E RChandler com forward slash
contact.
Chandler is C-H-A-N-D-L-E-R.
Chandlercom forward slashcontact.
You can't get any easier thanthat.
Brad Chandler (04:27):
Boom.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (04:28):
Boom, so I like your background.
Brad Chandler (04:31):
Thankful love I see your books, am I sure?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (04:36):
Oh wait, the only diet that works is
self-love.
Well, that is true, you know.
I like what you said aboutpeople helping them overcome
their self-limiting beliefs andstuff like that, and I agree you
and I talked a little bit theother day.
I feel like so many people arestuck or maybe don't do things
(05:00):
or try things because of thevoices in their head which are
usually the naysayers, possiblyparents and family members.
I feel like a lot of people arejust kind of stuck or they
don't know how to.
They don't know, like how do Istart a business?
Where does my mind need to bemy life?
(05:21):
I've heard you know, get a job.
Like I told you, get a job,work at a factory, get married,
have kids, retire when you're 60.
It's like why would I want todo that?
Brad Chandler (05:31):
Yeah, it's kind of sad how so many people are
stuck in jobs they don't like,marriages that they don't like,
bodies and fitness and healththat they don't like.
And it's a pretty simpleformula how to get out of it you
have to go back to the source,because no one was born with
anxiety or depression orworkaholism or anything really.
(05:54):
They were all learned behaviorsthrough our experiences.
So we just go back to thoseexperiences and we figure out
what were the meanings that youtold yourself that you're still
hanging on to today.
They served you great as asix-year-old to get through that
tough time, but as a46-year-old a 56-year-old, I
promise you they are negativelyaffecting your relationships,
your health, your businesssuccess.
So, yeah, no one has to bestuck.
(06:17):
You weren't put in this worldto suffer and struggle, I
promise.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (06:21):
You know you said that on the phone the other
day that I'm sorry, I promiseyou know.
You said that on the phone theother day that I'm sorry.
Brad Chandler (06:31):
I think I uh my thing, bill's trying to choke me
with my wifey mug.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (06:34):
I took like two big of a sip fighting it.
You said that the other day andyou said uh, I think you said
something about that worked atsix, doesn't work at 46.
And I really liked that and Iwanted you to kind of explain,
like what does that mean?
Because I hear people saythings all the time Well, what
worked and doesn't work now.
But you said that the other dayand then you said again today
(06:54):
and I thought about that.
I thought you know, what do wedo when we're six?
Like what are we trying to?
I don't know.
All I remember is just beinglittle.
I don't even remember beingthat age trying to.
I don't know, all I remember isjust being little, I don't even
remember being that age, butgive me an example of something
that affects today.
Brad Chandler (07:13):
Yeah, and so there lies the problem, Dwan,
and that is, if you don'tremember it, if you can't recall
it, your body and mind alwaysremember it, but if you can't
recall it, then you don't know.
If you want to change yourbehavior, but you don't know
what's changing that behavior.
How can you ever change thatbehavior?
You can't, and that's kind ofthe magic of what I do.
But I'm going to use myself asan example.
(07:34):
So I'm six years old, I'm sevenyears old, I'm eight.
However old I am, I'm gettinghit with a belt.
My dad's hitting me with a belt, my dad's making fun of me.
My parents fought all the time.
So my six-year-old brain has tocome up with a reason.
Why is this happening to me?
So in my situation, it was.
I must be bad, I must deservethis punishment, because if it's
(07:58):
my dad's problem, then I can'tcontrol it and I'm screwed.
But if I'm bad, all I've got todo is be good and I can get the
love that I want from him.
So it's my brain giving me ahope for a better tomorrow.
So it actually helps you.
It helps you survive and putyourself in whatever your dad
(08:18):
wasn't at all your games or hewas absent from your life.
Well, he wasn't there becausehe didn't love me.
It's my fault, so if I can justbe lovable, he'll love me.
So that's how you survive as achild.
When you're 46 years old andyou've never owned a boat, and
you're buying a 42-foot boat andyou're taking it to the Bahamas
and you don't even know how toread a chart, because your
(08:39):
subconscious mind is telling youyou're still bad and you need
to prove yourself.
That doesn't serve you.
That was my story.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (08:48):
So, like literally, you took a boat to
the Bahamas without a map.
Brad Chandler (08:54):
I didn't even know that the day before I left,
I bought a boat and 60 dayslater I'm behind the wheel
cruising towards the Bahamas.
The night before, my friend istelling me how to read a chart.
He's like red, green, you stayon this side of red and this
side on green.
So yeah, and I made it to theFlorida Keys and then that was
(09:14):
when my transformation happenedand I realized, oh my gosh, the
only reason I did this isbecause I was trying to.
It was just.
It was one of like 50 things inmy life over the first 47 years
that I tried to prove that Iwas trying to.
It was just.
It was one of like 50 things inmy life over the first 47 years
that I tried to prove that Iwas worthy, and most of those
things caused me harm ratherthan good.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (09:34):
Yeah, that's so interesting because as an
adult, I you know you wouldn'tknow that.
Like you know, my dad did thisand this is why I'm that way.
So when a person makes adecision, they're like okay, I
don't know.
Do people feel like did youknow that that was something
that happened as a child?
(09:54):
Or did you have to research,like where?
What was your moment?
You said that was the thing.
But how did you relate thatback?
How does someone go back?
Brad Chandler (10:03):
So I had no idea I wasn't searching for help.
The negative things thathappened in my life were five
business mistakes that cost mypartner nine $9 million between
2003 and 2017.
Two marriages that didn't work.
Two kids with anxiety.
Not great relationships with mykids at the time.
The use of weed and alcohol.
(10:25):
I just thought, look, everyoneuses weed and alcohol.
I picked two bad wives, youknow.
I just justified everything, soI wasn't actively looking for
help.
I thought I loved myself, Ithought I had a great.
But you saw me for years on theinternet Like I've got my shit
together, I've got a successfulcompany.
Everyone knew Express Home homebuyers.
(10:45):
We weren't.
We weren't one of the tops.
We got involved in the we buyhouses lawsuit, which was
another thing about trying toprove my worth.
That cost me $2 million, so Iwasn't even looking.
I thought everything was fine inmy world, right, it was trying
to get my son help for anxietythat I was on a call like this
with a performance coach and shesaid you blink like crazy when
(11:05):
you talk about your childhood.
You may have unresolvedchildhood trauma that's
affecting your son's anxiety.
And I'm like no way.
No, I'm the greatest dad.
I'm a single dad.
I do everything for my son, butI was like sure I'll try
anything.
And I went out there and in thecourse of a weekend, really, a
three-hour session with this guy, my life forever changed.
And what did we do?
(11:26):
We went back to my childhoodand we went back to the times
where there was stressful times,I had control taken from me,
there was some type of trauma,and we figured out the stories
that I told myself.
And the stories I told myselfwas something's wrong with me,
I'm not enough.
And then I quickly realized wasthat the truth, or was that my
(11:48):
perception of it?
And was it really my dad andhis issues?
And it was.
And at that point in time, ohmy gosh, I became free and I
could become myself.
And that's when my life hasradically changed in these last
three years.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (11:59):
That's so amazing and you know there are
so many.
I mean, I'm 65 now, so I haveso many friends that now talk
about things that happened tothem as a child, like really a
shocking amount of people that Iknow were molested and you know
like really heavy things.
Yeah, of family do I come from?
(12:22):
The people I don't know?
I assume a lot of people likeyou, younger 20s and 30s.
I mean I was married twicebefore Bill.
I did my fair share of champagneand cocaine, like a lot of it
in my 20s and I didn't evensettle down until I became a mom
.
I was like, oh, I can't bedoing that, I'm going to raise
(12:45):
this baby over here.
I know a lot of people that aremy age that are trying to
reflect back now and try to tofigure things out.
So I know that that's what youdo happiness and freedom coach.
So if a person found you andthey said, hey, brad, I need
help, what would be?
What would be like, um, like anaction that you could tell them
like, okay, take this one, likeI wanted you to give be.
Like an action that you couldtell them Like, okay, take this
(13:07):
one, like I want you to give uslike an applicable action that
someone listening could starthere.
Not necessarily, but like here'sthe thing that I could do today
.
Brad Chandler (13:19):
To figure it out.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (13:20):
To see what I need to do.
Brad Chandler (13:22):
Yeah.
So I've got a shirt on thatsays the only diet that works is
self-love, and I did not makethat up, I stole it from Jenny
Craig.
That's her saying, and I'mgoing to divert a little bit.
I'm going to come back to yourquestion.
Everyone has known peoplethat's lost a bunch of weight
and put it all back on.
Yeah, and they blame themselves.
Usually they're like I'm toolazy or I can't stick with a
(13:43):
program.
No, it has nothing to do withthat.
It has to do with your lack ofself-love from these childhood
programming issues that we'retalking about.
So a couple of years ago Icreated a self-love quiz for
probably me, my old version ofmyself, because if I was
listening to this, I would havebeen the guy saying I have high
self-esteem, I don't care whatother people think and I love
(14:04):
myself.
So if you go to bradchandlercomforward slash quiz and you
spend three minutes of your lifetaking these 12 questions or
multiple choices, you just clicka button and you get back a
result.
You're either going to get backextreme self-love, mild
self-love or lack of self-love.
If you score mild self-love orlack of self-loved one, it's an
(14:24):
indication that likely everyarea of your life to some degree
is negatively affected.
That doesn't mean you look atthose results and say, oh, my
life sucks, woe is me.
Just the opposite.
Look at it from the standpointthat, oh my gosh, if I lack
self-love, this is the reasonthat I can trace to every single
problem I have in my life andif I just do the, whether you
work with me or not, it doesn'tmatter.
(14:44):
But know that there is a betteroption than going to therapy
for 30 years, like I did, inthree to five hours.
Three hours, I had mybreakthrough, and now, with my
clients, it's usually betweenhour three and five.
So go take that quiz right nowand you're going to know if you
have an issue with thischildhood programming based on
the results this childhoodprogramming based on the results
(15:04):
.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (15:04):
I believe it.
I mean, when I married Bill, hehad two kids, so we became five
.
All three of my kids aremillennials and they're all into
the.
I go to counseling, I readthese books.
I'm healing my childhood traumaand all my kids do that and
when the first one did, I waslike I gave you no trauma and I
(15:28):
immediately felt responsible andI thought, no wait, not, it's
not my responsibility.
Whatever they feel, whateverhappened, whatever, whatever.
So I encourage all three ofthem.
But it's just interesting howthe younger generation first of
all, sadly, is triggered byliterally every single thing in
the face of the earth which isridiculous.
And you know they're all like,oh my God, as a child and I get
(15:52):
it, I know that that makes uswho we are.
But I think a lot of people uselike I'm triggered by what you
said to me.
It's like seriously grow abackbone.
But I do believe people have alot of childhood trauma.
I don't know what kind of shithappened in my childhood and we
do have that and people don'tknow how to start.
They just start reading books.
Brad Chandler (16:13):
Well, on that note, like you said, you're not
responsible for your child's.
You know issues.
If you lack self-love as aparent, there is no way that
that means that you feel you'renot enough to some degree.
How can you teach your childhow to feel enough if you don't
feel enough?
(16:33):
So this isn't to cast blame onyou or me, because I was in the
same boat.
We did the absolute best wecould do with our childhood.
But now that I have a differentawareness, my relationship with
my two kids is so differentthan it was three years ago
because I'm coming at it from acompletely different place and
every relationship I have isdifferent.
Relationship I have with my,with my girlfriend, is different
(16:54):
than it would have been threeyears ago, because now I see
myself in the world through acompletely different lens.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (17:01):
I think that's so neat.
I feel like everybody it's funny.
After you and I talked in thecar, you know, bill was in the
car with me and after we hung uphe and I talked for a while and
he was, like you know, Bill's ahot mess and he was like I have
no childhood trauma and I waslike dude, I could name like
five things that you do on thedaily that relate back to you
(17:24):
not being your dad.
And he just like he, you knowhe's the kind of guy I still
think that in his mind he thinkscounseling or help is like for
other people.
But we we start doing um, it'sa like a couple's bible study,
working through things, and westart doing that together and I
tell you it's made such a bigdifference for both of us and
(17:47):
I'm like dude, all of us havesomething.
All of us like I have my dadtoo.
My dad was the switch or thebelt.
My grandma was go pick yourswitch off the tree.
It's like I feel like thepicking of the switch should be
the punishment.
You don't need to get hit withit.
You stand there for 20 minutestrying to find one that's not
(18:07):
too big, not too small.
It's like that right there.
That should be the punishment.
Once you pick it off, thatshould be the end of the road
right there.
Brad Chandler (18:14):
Well, you and Bill should go after the talk
and go take the self-love quizand tell him the answer honestly
and see what you score.
But back to hitting a child.
Think about this what is theresponsibility or what should a
mother or father do for theirchild?
They should see them, theyshould hear them, they should
understand them and they shouldprotect them.
When you hit a child, you wereinflicting physical harm and
(18:38):
shame on that kid.
How do you think the kid'sgoing to react?
Probably like I did.
Why is this hat?
Why am I getting hit?
Cause I'm bad?
No, you're not bad.
You're not bad.
You.
Kids only misbehave for onereason they lack connection with
a parent and if you put them intimeout or you hit them, all
you're doing is furtherdisconnecting disconnecting them
(19:00):
from yourself and from them.
I like that, they like.
Just, they lack a connectionwith the parents and they're
(19:23):
just trying to.
They want love.
They're calling for love andattention, and what most parents
do, including myself.
I never hit my kids, but Iwould put them in timeout and
it's just not good.
It's, you know, and someone'sgonna hear this and be like oh
time I.
One of my mentors has a guythat had major problems at 35
years old because his parentswould put him in timeout and
(19:43):
close the door in his room forfive to 10 minutes.
And when you're six and sevenyears old you don't understand
time.
So this little boy thought Idon't know if they're ever
coming back.
I might die in here.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (19:53):
Now I don't mean to laugh.
Kids don't know time.
My grandson is four, so he'slearning days, what he thinks.
So he'll be like Mimi, pappy,I'm coming to your house in four
days and I'm staying for threedays.
They'll call the next day I'mcoming in three days, he can.
(20:14):
I'm like does he understandwhat a day is?
But when he gets there he'slike I'm staying for 10 days and
then like, yes, all days laterthat's not 10, and so he's
trying to learn time.
But he's just so cute right nowbecause everything has to have
a time on it when you're goingto meet, when you're going to
eat, when you're going to do it,he has everything has to have a
time for him.
And it's so cute because Inever met like a little kid like
(20:37):
that who's like so focused ontime.
But you're right, kids don'tknow time out.
You put them in and time outthey I mean when they,
especially when they're little10 minutes can seem like it's
the next day.
Brad Chandler (20:50):
Yeah, on Bill, I've seen you guys interact and
you look like you have a lot oflove.
But I'm here to tell you, asgood as your relationship is,
the problem with relationshipsis never the actual relationship
.
It's always the relationshipeach person has with themselves.
So you've already told me sometrauma that you had.
You got hit.
You've told me that he hadtrauma.
(21:11):
So if you guys haven't fullyprocessed this, if you were to
say, hey, I'm going to fullyprocess this stuff, you guys
have a good relationship orgreat, that will go to a whole
nother level, because you canopen up and be vulnerable and
share stuff that you may still,to this day, not feel completely
comfortable, based on yourbeliefs from your childhood.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (21:32):
Yeah, no, yeah, we actually should do that
.
After that whole last couple ofyears with the stem cell
transplant, we had a lot of daysjust the two of us living in
this special housing and we hada lot of time just to talk about
everything.
I think I learned more abouthim in that year than I have in
the whole 22 years that we weremarried, living in like this
special housing, and we had alot of time just to talk about
everything.
I think I learned more abouthim in that year than I have in
the whole 22 years that we weremarried, because we had nothing
(21:53):
but time.
Brad Chandler (21:54):
Wow.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (21:56):
What a blessing.
You know what we tell people.
I know it sounds so weird,because you know he had a stem
cell bone marrow transplantbecause he had a really rare
blood cancer.
There's no cure.
So it's like, well, you cantake these pills and you know,
maybe you like will live two tothree years because basically
your body, makes these giant redblood cells like, and they get
(22:17):
bigger and bigger and bigger andthen they can't pass through
your arteries and then the bonemarrow can't absorb them.
So you die or you're gonna havethis super risky, crazy bone
marrow transplant and we'll takeyou to death's door.
We'll give you a five millionnew stem cells and you know you
go for it and we always tellpeople instead of.
As weird as it sounds, that wasthe best year of our marriage
(22:40):
because it was just us.
You know it was so good and sowe were reading.
Well, I, he, he didn't readmuch.
I was always reading to him orwe were talking and we were
praying or reading the Bible,but with no, just us.
All the time.
We talked more than we havetalked the whole marriage.
It was really interesting andeveryone's like, oh my God, how
(23:02):
could that be a good year?
That was awful what you guyswent through.
I said no, we made the decisionto make it fun and make it
interesting and we educatedourselves and we talked about
things and we read and we didBible studies and we did this
stuff and we tell everyone likeI know it's hard to believe, but
that's the best year we everhad.
Brad Chandler (23:20):
So I said what a blessing earlier and I live my
life that everything happens forme, and I live my life that
everything happens for me.
And that's what happened.
There's a reason for everything.
Right In my hands I'm holdingtwo books, one called the Way of
Miracles and one called theMyth of Normal.
These are two really, reallysmart people that have
collectively helped tens ofthousands of people over the
(23:42):
last 40 years.
These two books, the basis ofthese books, are that
unprocessed childhood traumacauses health health, every,
pretty much every health thingon the planet.
So if you don't deal with yourS, H I T, nature deals with it,
because the stress eventuallyforces you to deal with it.
(24:04):
So I know it strikes a chordwith someone that cause these
guys believe that that it'scalled the way of miracles and
it's also a documentary on Gaia.
It's phenomenal.
And then and then the myth ofnormal by Dr Gabor Mate is if
you have stress in your life,stress is a major, major cause
(24:25):
of cancer and MS and depression,anxiety, pretty much everything
.
So this guy says, like I said,you either fix your stuff, or
nature fixes it through death,or they fix it through illness.
So a lot of people, just likeyou are, have looked at this as
a blessing.
I got to spend this time withmy husband.
We are now closer than everbefore.
(24:46):
Other people see it that thiswas caused by my stress.
So now I'm going to go back anddo the work to change my life.
It's just, life is just sobeautiful.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (24:55):
Now it really is.
I mean everyone, even hissister and brother, all like
this was the worst year ever.
Worrying about Bill and I waslike we loved it, we had fun.
You know, I think part of ittoo, brad, is like nobody.
We lived in a special place.
Nobody came over, nobody was in, bill was tired, didn't want to
talk a lot, so it was justalways us and we had so much
(25:17):
like uninterrupted time and inour daily just you know ebbs and
flows of life we don't havethat much, just completely
uninterrupted time all the time.
And this is I mean this wholeprocess is long.
It's like coming up next weekis just two years and so you
know at the end of a year you'resort of set free a little bit
(25:38):
and you know then two years andyou know, and then after that
you're like go live and be happyand we really just made really
good use of our time and wereally loved it.
Brad Chandler (25:49):
Good for you.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (25:50):
Everybody's like I can't believe you love
that.
I said well, obviously I wasworried about him.
I mean, I don't want the man todie.
I'm his full time caretaker.
You know it's like I don't wantthat on me and I don't want him
to die.
You know I want him to live,but I don't know.
Brad Chandler (26:06):
You made the best of a of a situation that could
have been really bad.
And you you shared with me acouple of days ago on the phone
that you actually quit someorganization because all they
wanted to talk about was diseaseand negativity.
And you're like, no, we're notgoing to talk about the what
could bad happen, we're going totalk about getting right.
And I believe that's why he'salive and why you guys are
thriving.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (26:26):
I do.
I'm telling you that, thatFacebook group.
After the first 10 posts I readI was like dang, all everyone
talks about is how bad they feel.
How many times they threw uplike da, da, da, just all these
things, bad things, there's allthis stuff.
And I was like holy cow.
I said I don't know if we cando this or not.
They were like you know what?
(26:47):
We're getting rid of that.
No, no negative words, we'rereading nothing negative.
I don't even think we watchedthe news.
I told the kids like listen, ifthe world's you know is getting
ready to blow up, text me.
Staying off the news nothing.
Brad Chandler (27:01):
Have you stayed off the news since then?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (27:04):
Mostly.
Brad Chandler (27:10):
I the news since then.
Mostly, I watch a little bitevery day just to make sure that
we're not getting Stop doing it, because there's nothing you
can do.
One of the greatest things I'vedone for my happiness other
than doing the work is I used tobe a news buff.
I watched the news before Iwent to work in the morning.
I'd watch 10 o'clock news.
It is so, so, so detrimentalfor you.
They've actually done studiesthat show that people that watch
the news have a higherlikelihood of anxiety and
depression, because all it is isnegative, negative, negative.
(27:33):
And you know what?
I don't know what the hell'sgoing on in the world and
there's nothing I can do aboutit.
So why do I need to know aboutmass shootings?
And it doesn't affect me andtherefore I'm going to live in
my happy bubble and forget thenews.
Let, let, let.
And therefore I'm going to livein my happy bubble and forget
the news.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (27:49):
Let the news be the news.
Now I have to agree I don'tever watch any in the morning.
Bill always likes to watch alittle bit.
He's a Fox News guy.
I know I want to watch it.
I'm just like, oh please, but Idon't like them.
Like dude, just anything.
Put on a Hallmark movie, let'sjust talk.
Put on some music, likeanything.
I don't like to watch the news.
But we started watching moremovies, listening to more music,
(28:12):
and now it's like we listen tomusic all the time.
We're dancing in the house inthe middle of the day.
It's like this is so muchbetter.
I honestly don't think all thatwouldn't happen had he not had
that illness like that.
It was crazy.
That illness like that is crazy.
Brad Chandler (28:24):
There you go.
Everything happens for you notto you.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (28:28):
You got to help me come up with a new
slogan.
I told you.
I said Bill and I are likewe're 65, we're still alive,
like woo.
We got to come up, but like tous it's funny.
And it's not funny funny, butmore like an inside joke,
because from February till Marchis the only time of the year
that we're the same age.
And then you know he's a yearolder and so I had my birthday.
(28:48):
He's like oh, we're 65.
We're still alive.
And I said that is true, andit's the last couple of years
have really been some, but wegot to come up with something a
little catchier.
So other people don't likethink like you're still alive.
What do you mean?
You're fine.
Brad Chandler (29:05):
Yeah.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:06):
I'm like 65, ready to thrive.
Brad Chandler (29:09):
There you go.
Much much better.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:12):
I have a slogan I do every year.
I don't know, it's a weirdthing, I've always done.
I have a slogan for every year.
Brad Chandler (29:18):
Oh, that's awesome.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:18):
When I turned 60, I was like 60, sexy and
sassy.
So just every year I have itand that's kind of like my, my
mental mantra to myself.
So I think we'll do like 65 andready to thrive.
It's got to match.
I got to come up with somethingthat rhymes, I don't know.
So it's just a weird thing Ialways do 65 and ready to thrive
(29:40):
.
Brad Chandler (29:40):
I mean, that's awesome 65, ready to thrive.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:43):
So, yeah, and I remember when 63 was, all
this happened.
I was like 63 and feeling free.
And then, even though weweren't free, we're like no, you
know what, we're free to liveand do this the way we want to
do it.
So technically, we're free.
Brad Chandler (29:56):
So 65 and we thrive and we thrive.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (30:00):
There you go 65 and we thrive yeah.
So I always got to have like alittle beat.
I don't know it's a weird thing, I do, bill and I both do it,
so that's funny.
So if people are cause I knowyou've been in real estate and
stuff as well, so people thatare, and you said that you made
(30:20):
some how many mistakes that costyou like $9 million.
Brad Chandler (30:24):
Five mistakes.
Yeah, no, we still.
We're going to flip, hopefullyclose to 300 houses this year.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (30:28):
Wow, 300.
Good for you, 300.
That's no joke.
Brad Chandler (30:32):
That's our goal.
We did 223 last year, 253 theyear before and we're heading to
300 this year.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (30:38):
Nice.
So do you have a company thatwholesales houses?
Brad Chandler (30:45):
Wholesales and fix and flips Yep Across the
country.
So we do do it across thecountry.
I're.
I'd say 90% of 95% of the dealsare in DC, Maryland, Virginia.
And then we started to do somein Southern California and then
sporadically, like we've, youknow, we've got a house under
contract in Florida and we'll doone in Illinois, or just, just,
you know, sporadically.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (31:03):
So do you feel like, um, obviously your
success is due to the fact thatyou know you're so smart and so
cute and adorable Like how couldyou not be successful?
But you've also worked througha lot of things.
Do you feel like a lot ofpeople that are in business or
have the big mistakes?
Do you feel like that is stuffthat goes all the way back to
childhood?
Brad Chandler (31:24):
I have a theory.
This is interesting.
I get a lot of theories.
I have a theory.
(31:50):
This is interesting.
I got a lot of theories.
Trauma affects people radicallydifferent.
The same type of trauma canaffect people radically
different.
So I believe that top athletesif you look at Tom Brady and
Michael Jordan and Tiger Woodsthe reason they got to be so
good is because they felt so badabout themselves and they had
to prove something.
So there's that angle.
And then there's the angle of,yes, I've got to prove something
, like myself, but I'm also soreckless because I needed so bad
to prove something that I mademistakes.
And then you have the thirdtheory where, if you look at the
IQs of like a middle levelmanager, at like a Walmart,
compared to a fortune 500 CEO,they're not that different.
(32:11):
So those and I'm not, I'm notlike putting down Walmart and
just using like a just take ablue collar job.
Right, the person working ablue collar job is really not
that less intelligent than thanuh, if you look at it on a scale
.
So why is it they don't make alot of money?
Because their limiting beliefwas I don't deserve it Me or the
(32:33):
Fortune 500 CEO was I have noalternative.
I've got to make a bunch ofmoney to prove my worth or I'm
going to die.
So it just affects.
But to answer your question,yes, I think entrepreneurs, a
lot of entrepreneurs, get inbusiness because they think if I
can make $5 million I'll behappy and worthy.
And I'm here to tell you it'llnever be that way, because look
(32:53):
at Matthew Perry and MichaelJackson and all those princes of
the world.
The trick is I can teach youhow today to get the state that
you're, after 10 years down theroad with $10 million.
And then, when you get thatstate today, you are far more
likely to make the $10 millionbecause you're doing it for the
reasons of making an impact anddoing something you love rather
(33:15):
than like me.
With real estate, I never care.
I thought I liked real estate.
I don't care about real estate.
I was put on this planet tohelp people stop their suffering
and thrive and become free,right?
So because of that now I havean insatiable appetite and all
I'm going to do for, hopefully,the next 60 years of my life is
(33:36):
become better and better at whatI do.
I love it and, by the way, themoney is going to come.
I'll probably make more moneyin this business than I did in
real estate, but it was thefirst business in my life that I
started where I never thoughtabout money.
All I thought about was howmany people can I help, how many
lives can I change, because Ino longer had to prove anything
to anybody.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (33:56):
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I started
teaching when I did, because Iwas here in Florida, actually in
Palm Beach County, and I didthose first couple of houses.
On the first couple of houses,you know, I was going through a
divorce, I got a kid.
I'm just like I need to makesome money, I want to work for
myself.
So after I did a few, I startedto realize that I can only help
(34:18):
one single person at a time.
But if I taught a few peoplehow to do it and I do 10 deals
and they do 10, and they do 10,and they do 10, we could help
more people.
So really, and I really, when Ifirst started teaching, I didn't
really know enough to teach.
I knew enough to talk to youabout wholesaling and how to fix
up a house and that's all Iknew.
But I taught that and I waslike, hey, listen, there's
(34:44):
thousands and thousands ofpeople and I know how they felt
because that happened to me whenI went through my divorce Lost
my house, my car, like you knowall the stuff that I got the
baby and you know, that's reallyall that matters.
And so that was kind of myinitial reason for wanting to
teach.
I was like well, if I can teachother people how to do what I'm
doing, we can help more people.
That's why I always say ourmotto is people before profits.
(35:05):
If you just help people, themoney comes.
If the people that focus on themoney are just so money hungry.
Brad Chandler (35:17):
I feel like those are the most unhappy people.
But it's really, really hard tofocus on people when your
brain's telling you you're nogood and you believe that money
is your way out.
For me, I believe at 10 yearsold, when my dad stopped paying
when he moved out, my mom saidat one point in time we may lose
this house and we may have tomove into public housing.
Well, she was a nurse and shehad taken me to this public
housing and I just knew therewas shootings there.
(35:38):
So I think my 10 year old brainsaid oh my God, if you run out
of money knew there wasshootings there.
So I think my 10 year old brainsaid, oh my God, if you run out
of money, you die.
And so I thought, oh my gosh,I've always got to have money
and it was.
I was in a CEO organizationabout 15 years ago and someone
was like what is?
Do you think that's why youbought so many houses?
And I was like, oh my gosh, Inever thought.
My subconscious mind probablysaid you almost died because you
(35:59):
lost your house, so you bettergo buy a bunch of houses and at
any given time I had I don'thave.
We've divested of all of them.
Now we probably own just thehouses we're fixing and flipping
, but at one point in time wehad over 100 houses.
It was probably my brain tryingto protect me.
This is what here's the crux ofeverything in everyone's life.
(36:20):
Whatever symptom that you'redealing with whether you have a
shitty marriage, or you eat toomuch, you drink too much, you
have anxiety, depression thoseare all actually solutions to
your problem.
Because you think that there'ssomething that's worse, that
you're trying to avoid, that youdon't want to face.
So you do the thing.
So, once you find out that thisthing that you think is worse,
(36:44):
so why does someone drink dayafter day after day, when they
know it's destroying their body?
Because they're trying not toface this thing over here that
they think is worse, Once we dothe work and you figure out this
thing, not only is it not worse, but it was made up when you
were a child to protect yourself.
When that goes away, then guesswhat?
The drinking goes away.
So that's the magic formula.
(37:06):
So everyone who's sufferingright now that's listening to
this thinking I eat too much, Idrink too much, this anxiety,
this depression, you don't havea disorder.
Your brain is doing exactlywhat it thinks it should be
doing, because it's taking youfrom pain to pleasure.
It thinks there's somethingactually worse, but that thing
isn't really worse.
And when you figure that out,your brain automatically says
(37:26):
wait, I can't hold twoconflicting thoughts.
This doesn't make sense.
Oh my gosh, I've been livingthis way all these years, the
wrong way.
This isn't me.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (37:36):
Now it's brilliant.
I'm so excited for when thispodcast comes out.
I'm to tell everyone likelisten, y'all got to listen to
brad.
There's just so many people Ijust so many people I know that
have all those issues and I knowit's because people just don't
want to.
And it is true.
I think one of the reasons Imade so much money right away is
(37:57):
I've been fired from denny's.
My husband left, I lost myhouse on my car and I had the
and I was like I don't want thatto happen again, so I better
make a bunch of money over hereto make sure I'm safe.
And I think, now that we'retalking, I think subconsciously,
my fear of all that happeningagain is what made me go crazy
on this side of the fence.
Brad Chandler (38:17):
Yeah, our fears drive everything and the people
that it's not.
Fears drive everything and thepeople that it's not.
So some people are scared toface their issues, which they
shouldn't be, because it's not.
It's not a hard process, as youthink.
Other people have tried certainthings, but they've gone to
traditional therapy andtraditional therapy.
God love them.
They try their best and some ofthem are phenomenal and some of
(38:38):
them get success.
But what they do is they focuson the symptoms in the conscious
mind.
The thought that you're tryingto avoid is hidden.
It's buried in yoursubconscious mind and the magic
is you got to get to yoursubconscious mind.
So I use hypnosis, which isnothing more than a deep,
relaxed state, to ask your brain, because your subconscious
brain knows the source of yourproblems.
(38:59):
So we just ask it what's thecause of this depression?
And we go back to that place.
So whatever you're dealing with, it's not your fault and there
is a better way.
That doesn't take, like youknow, 20 years or 30 years in my
case of therapy.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (39:14):
I know.
I know I always encouragepeople like just dig in, find
out.
I mean, I'm sure I've got youand I should do some sessions
together.
I feel like you could reallyhelp me uncover.
I feel like I've uncoveredunearthed most of my stuff, but
you never know yeah, it hides it, we're always growing, you know
, always growing, alwayschanging.
There's always things happening,there's always new things
(39:35):
coming on.
So let's, uh, we're gonna skiptopics up for a minute.
We're gonna jump completetopics for a minute.
We're going to jump completetopics.
Tell me your favorite band ofall time.
Brad Chandler (39:44):
Oh wow.
I mean, I could sit here forfive minutes, but I think, if I
had to listen, probably GeorgeStrait.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (39:54):
George Strait King George.
Brad Chandler (39:56):
I saw him in concert a couple of months ago
with Chris Stapleton at theTampa Bay Arena.
It was pretty epic.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (40:03):
I love George Strait he has.
What does he have like 55number one hits or something.
Brad Chandler (40:08):
A lot.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (40:09):
Every song, every album he puts out, it's
just number one.
The day it comes out, he'sspecial.
That's Bill's favorite countryperson is George Strait.
He is good, he's amazing, youknow.
You maybe did not know taylorswift used to open for him oh
wow, no, I didn't she used toopen for george straight.
(40:30):
So I saw an interview one time,him and her and uh, something we
just watched a few weeks agowhere they were doing some kind
of a tribute and she sang one ofhis songs and I was like, wow,
table, so she's open for georgestraight.
Imagine she was so nervousmeeting George Strait and now
he's probably like dang girl,you went and dominated the whole
world, I like country.
(40:51):
You know who I just discoveredis Jelly Roll.
Brad Chandler (40:56):
Oh, I love them too.
Yeah, that deep, raspy voice, Ilove it.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (41:00):
I'm like so in love with him right now.
I listen to that music all thetime.
I just literally justdiscovered it.
We have tickets to a thing he'sdoing in our little town in
Iowa this summer and of courseyou know, being part of the
downtown, I've got some VIPtickets and people are like you
want to get rid of your tickets.
I was like hell.
No, I'm going to go meet Jelly.
Roll meet jelly roll man nice,and it's like it's not really
(41:23):
kind of music.
Well, I am more like of a bluesgirl, but that's like my
favorite person right now.
What's?
Brad Chandler (41:28):
your favorite food uh, probably filet mignon
ah, there you go.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (41:39):
I love it, but what's your favorite time of
the day, like out of the wholeday, from waking up to going to
sleep?
Do you have a piece of timethat's like your favorite part
of your day?
Brad Chandler (41:50):
You know I just love crawling in the bed at
night and reading a book on,again, the science of the brain,
trauma psychology.
Just freaking love it.
I got a therapeutic, uh,tempur-pedic bed recently and it
adjust and put it in zerogravity.
Um, I, I look, I, I, I justcherish every part of the day,
but that, if you, if you pin medown, um, yeah, I'm going to go
(42:14):
with that.
That's my final answer.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (42:16):
Final answer.
You know it's funny cause I askeverybody that well, not
everyone.
Since I started, I try toswitch up my questions every few
months, but since I startedasking people that I am a night
person too, bill and I reallylook forward to going to bed.
Like we get in the bed togetherand we're just like it's quiet,
(42:38):
we talk, and 90% of people arelike oh, I get up at four
o'clock in the morning.
I love the morning and I'm justlike Kelly, I love the end.
I like the nighttime.
I like getting into bed.
I put on my heated blanket, Iadjust the head and the feet, I
get all snuggled in.
It's like this is the best partof the whole day.
So there's not very many of usthat say that.
(42:59):
Most everyone's like oh, I likethat.
5 to 6 am it's like, dude, I amsleeping.
Brad Chandler (43:06):
Yeah, snuggle time is great.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (43:08):
That is not for me.
I like that.
So now, what is your biggestgoal that you're working on
right now, and how can we add towonderful?
How can we help you?
Brad Chandler (43:19):
So I turned 50 last year and I'm manifesting
that I'm going to live to be 110.
And my goal is to help amillion people get the gift that
I was given, and that's to findfreedom and happiness by
reconnecting with themselves andgetting rid of these limiting
beliefs that are buried in theirsubconscious mind.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (43:37):
Okay.
So, folks, we have to help thisman reach his goal Turn 50.
You look fantastic for 50, bythe way, I'm sure you know that,
and you all live to be 110.
I'm like, I'm all for living tobe 110 as long as I'm healthy,
and we want to help 1 millionpeople.
So, everyone at Dwanderful, weput things to prayer, we help
(44:00):
you reach your goal, and I wouldlove to be a tiny little piece
of helping you reach that goaland that, by the way, is a
beautiful goal.
Brad Chandler (44:09):
Thank you.
Yeah, I just I came back fromthis transformation.
I looked around.
I saw the people suffering.
I was like, oh my gosh, they'resuffering for the same reason I
was, and now I know how I canhelp them.
And I got to do it and that'sall I've been doing for the last
three years is helping people.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (44:24):
I love it.
I love it.
I think that is a beautifulgoal, and I'm all about trying
to help you out.
Brad Chandler (44:35):
So again, people find you at bradchandler.
com forward slash, contact Yepand check out my podcast how to
Be Happier for Entrepreneurs.
If you love this type of stuff,you're going to love the
podcast.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (44:44):
How to Be Happy for Entrepreneurs, and I
am so excited I get to be aguest on that show.
Yes, you're definitely going towant to watch it, for no other
reason because I'm on there.
Brad Chandler (44:53):
Yes.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (44:54):
And we'll have fun over there too.
All right.
Last thing is, I want you togive us a parting word of wisdom
, but just one word.
Brad Chandler (45:07):
Love.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (45:10):
Okay, so all my Dwanderful people know that,
whatever the word is that yougive us, that is, our word of
the week is love.
But what does it mean to you?
Brad Chandler (45:21):
Well, I don't know if your hyphenated word
counts.
I really wanted to sayself-love, that's what it means
the quicker that you canunderstand that you have all the
happiness you ever needed tohave inside you and that there's
nothing wrong with you, thatyou are always enough.
You always will be enough.
When you can have thatself-love, your relationships,
(45:42):
your health, your finances,everything will change.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (45:48):
Okay, I love it.
So we'll take self-love, we'llcount the hyphen and we'll make
it one word Love it.
Because people always want togive me this line no, no, no, no
, no.
We just want a word.
We want a word that we can allpray and meditate on this week.
So self-love, and I love whatyou say about that and I could
not agree with you more.
I could not agree more.
So first, I want to thank youso much for being on the show
(46:10):
today.
It's been so much fun talkingand just reconnecting with you
and I'm really looking forwardto this episode coming out.
Everyone's going to love it,and all of you.
If you had fun today, if youlaughed, if you learned anything
, I always ask you to do me afavor and I want you to
(46:30):
subscribe.
I want you to leave me afive-star review, I want you to
write something nice and followme on all my socials, and if you
would like to watch this videowhen it comes out, it will be on
my YouTube channel.
It's in the show notes, butit's wonderful real estate.
So some of you like to listenwhen you're running and doing
things.
Some people like to sit downand watch.
I mean, brad, look how cute weare.
(46:51):
How could they not want towatch?
us, I know, you got to watch itover at my YouTube channel and
this is one you're going to wantto watch.
You're definitely going to wantto watch.
You're definitely going to wantto watch this.
So thank you again, everyone.
Have a great week.
We'll be back next week.
Same bat time, same bat channel.
And remember that the truth isin the red letter.
All right, thank you, brad.
(47:12):
Thank you.
Ciao.
Hey everybody , welcome to The Most Dwanderful
Real Estate Podcast Ever.
I am so excited that you'rehere today.
This is my backyard in Florida,so you've been watching me Zoom
the last few weeks in theactual yard, but today we
thought we'd try it and see howit looks as my background.
(00:22):
So I'm Dwan Bent-T wyford.
I'm America's most sought afterreal estate investor.
I'm super excited you're heretoday.
Our motto at Dwanderful ispeople before profits, so if
that resonates with you, you'reat the right place.
I'm your girl and I've got yourguy.
Today I have Brad Chandler.
He is a wicked smart man.
(00:44):
So, Brad, how are you today?
Brad Chandler (00:47):
I'm awesome and I love your view from behind you.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (00:50):
Yes, well, that is.
Brad Chandler (00:52):
I went out just this very morning, took a
picture and I'm like, yeah, Ilike it, I'd much rather, you
should have invited me to dothis podcast live, because I'd
much rather be there than incold Virginia.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:03):
Well, you know, we can always do another
one in a few months and you justcome right down and I've got
another chair right here next tome and we'll do it live.
Brad Chandler (01:11):
Let's do.
It Sounds good.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:12):
I tell people all the time hey, if you want
to come do one in Florida, I'mtotally game to do them live.
Brad Chandler (01:18):
Sweet.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:20):
All right, so everyone that's watching you
can reach me at dwanderful.
com.
So I took my name Dwan andwonderful, and I made a new word
and we're going to dive in andtalk to Brad.
But, brad, first of all we liketo have a toast.
So are you drinking something Iactually have?
(01:41):
What is that?
Brad Chandler (01:43):
It's a big old water pitcher, oh.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:45):
I have this new one.
Bill got me this.
It says wipey.
Brad Chandler (01:50):
Love it.
What are we toasting?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (01:53):
To you.
Thank you for being on the show, cheers Everyone that's
watching.
Take a drink, everybody.
Take a stretch, wrap yourselfand get back in here with us and
hang out with us for a littlewhile and I guarantee that you
are going to have a good time.
So I feel like, kind of the waywe do it is, we just sort of
(02:15):
talk and we start off, like Isaid, with a toast, we do a
little stretch and we just wantpeople to feel like they're
sitting with us hanging out andlistening to this amazing
conversation.
Brad Chandler (02:28):
Love it.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (02:29):
That's kind of the deal.
So the first thing I like to do, I'm throwing you straight into
the wolves.
I want you to tell everybodyjust in a couple of sentences
what you do and how people canreach you, and then we're going
to.
I've got some questions.
Oh see, there's my screen.
You can't see it.
Brad Chandler (03:03):
Yeah, what's my deal?
Well, before I tell you my deal, I love the freaking people
over profits because for 47years I put profits over people
because I was trying to provesomething, because I didn't feel
worthy.
So absolutely love that.
We should come back to that.
But what's my story?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (03:20):
Real quick because I'm going to ask you
questions.
Brad Chandler (03:24):
Okay, yeah, I own a real estate investment
company that does a couplehundred houses a year.
It runs without me and I spendall of my time helping
entrepreneurs overcominglimiting beliefs from childhood
that they don't even knowtypically exist, that are
causing them to have whateverissue they're having in life
their struggles, their badmarriage, or eating or drinking,
(03:47):
or depression, anxiety and Ihelp them overcome that and,
when they do, they get to live alife of freedom and happiness
that they deserve.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (03:55):
They do deserve it.
And tell everybody how to findyou social media, your website.
I want all your info in thebeginning of the show notes.
Brad Chandler (04:03):
Yeah, brad Chandlercom forward slash
contact has literally even mycell phone number.
My self-love quiz, my, mypodcast, everything can be.
All my social links can befound at Brad Chandlercom
forward slash contact.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (04:17):
Okay, that's easy enough.
And Chandler is C H A N D L E RChandler com forward slash
contact.
Chandler is C-H-A-N-D-L-E-R.
Chandlercom forward slashcontact.
You can't get any easier thanthat.
Brad Chandler (04:27):
Boom.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (04:28):
Boom, so I like your background.
Brad Chandler (04:31):
Thankful love I see your books, am I sure?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (04:36):
Oh wait, the only diet that works is
self-love.
Well, that is true, you know.
I like what you said aboutpeople helping them overcome
their self-limiting beliefs andstuff like that, and I agree you
and I talked a little bit theother day.
I feel like so many people arestuck or maybe don't do things
(05:00):
or try things because of thevoices in their head which are
usually the naysayers, possiblyparents and family members.
I feel like a lot of people arejust kind of stuck or they
don't know how to.
They don't know, like how do Istart a business?
Where does my mind need to bemy life?
(05:21):
I've heard you know, get a job.
Like I told you, get a job,work at a factory, get married,
have kids, retire when you're 60.
It's like why would I want todo that?
Brad Chandler (05:31):
Yeah, it's kind of sad how so many people are
stuck in jobs they don't like,marriages that they don't like,
bodies and fitness and healththat they don't like.
And it's a pretty simpleformula how to get out of it you
have to go back to the source,because no one was born with
anxiety or depression orworkaholism or anything really.
(05:54):
They were all learned behaviorsthrough our experiences.
So we just go back to thoseexperiences and we figure out
what were the meanings that youtold yourself that you're still
hanging on to today.
They served you great as asix-year-old to get through that
tough time, but as a46-year-old a 56-year-old, I
promise you they are negativelyaffecting your relationships,
your health, your businesssuccess.
So, yeah, no one has to bestuck.
(06:17):
You weren't put in this worldto suffer and struggle, I
promise.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (06:21):
You know you said that on the phone the other
day that I'm sorry, I promiseyou know.
You said that on the phone theother day that I'm sorry.
Brad Chandler (06:31):
I think I uh my thing, bill's trying to choke me
with my wifey mug.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (06:34):
I took like two big of a sip fighting it.
You said that the other day andyou said uh, I think you said
something about that worked atsix, doesn't work at 46.
And I really liked that and Iwanted you to kind of explain,
like what does that mean?
Because I hear people saythings all the time Well, what
worked and doesn't work now.
But you said that the other dayand then you said again today
(06:54):
and I thought about that.
I thought you know, what do wedo when we're six?
Like what are we trying to?
I don't know.
All I remember is just beinglittle.
I don't even remember beingthat age trying to.
I don't know, all I remember isjust being little, I don't even
remember being that age, butgive me an example of something
that affects today.
Brad Chandler (07:13):
Yeah, and so there lies the problem, Dwan,
and that is, if you don'tremember it, if you can't recall
it, your body and mind alwaysremember it, but if you can't
recall it, then you don't know.
If you want to change yourbehavior, but you don't know
what's changing that behavior.
How can you ever change thatbehavior?
You can't, and that's kind ofthe magic of what I do.
But I'm going to use myself asan example.
(07:34):
So I'm six years old, I'm sevenyears old, I'm eight.
However old I am, I'm gettinghit with a belt.
My dad's hitting me with a belt, my dad's making fun of me.
My parents fought all the time.
So my six-year-old brain has tocome up with a reason.
Why is this happening to me?
So in my situation, it was.
I must be bad, I must deservethis punishment, because if it's
(07:58):
my dad's problem, then I can'tcontrol it and I'm screwed.
But if I'm bad, all I've got todo is be good and I can get the
love that I want from him.
So it's my brain giving me ahope for a better tomorrow.
So it actually helps you.
It helps you survive and putyourself in whatever your dad
(08:18):
wasn't at all your games or hewas absent from your life.
Well, he wasn't there becausehe didn't love me.
It's my fault, so if I can justbe lovable, he'll love me.
So that's how you survive as achild.
When you're 46 years old andyou've never owned a boat, and
you're buying a 42-foot boat andyou're taking it to the Bahamas
and you don't even know how toread a chart, because your
(08:39):
subconscious mind is telling youyou're still bad and you need
to prove yourself.
That doesn't serve you.
That was my story.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (08:48):
So, like literally, you took a boat to
the Bahamas without a map.
Brad Chandler (08:54):
I didn't even know that the day before I left,
I bought a boat and 60 dayslater I'm behind the wheel
cruising towards the Bahamas.
The night before, my friend istelling me how to read a chart.
He's like red, green, you stayon this side of red and this
side on green.
So yeah, and I made it to theFlorida Keys and then that was
(09:14):
when my transformation happenedand I realized, oh my gosh, the
only reason I did this isbecause I was trying to.
It was just.
It was one of like 50 things inmy life over the first 47 years
that I tried to prove that Iwas trying to.
It was just.
It was one of like 50 things inmy life over the first 47 years
that I tried to prove that Iwas worthy, and most of those
things caused me harm ratherthan good.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (09:34):
Yeah, that's so interesting because as an
adult, I you know you wouldn'tknow that.
Like you know, my dad did thisand this is why I'm that way.
So when a person makes adecision, they're like okay, I
don't know.
Do people feel like did youknow that that was something
that happened as a child?
(09:54):
Or did you have to research,like where?
What was your moment?
You said that was the thing.
But how did you relate thatback?
How does someone go back?
Brad Chandler (10:03):
So I had no idea I wasn't searching for help.
The negative things thathappened in my life were five
business mistakes that cost mypartner nine $9 million between
2003 and 2017.
Two marriages that didn't work.
Two kids with anxiety.
Not great relationships with mykids at the time.
The use of weed and alcohol.
(10:25):
I just thought, look, everyoneuses weed and alcohol.
I picked two bad wives, youknow.
I just justified everything, soI wasn't actively looking for
help.
I thought I loved myself, Ithought I had a great.
But you saw me for years on theinternet Like I've got my shit
together, I've got a successfulcompany.
Everyone knew Express Home homebuyers.
(10:45):
We weren't.
We weren't one of the tops.
We got involved in the we buyhouses lawsuit, which was
another thing about trying toprove my worth.
That cost me $2 million, so Iwasn't even looking.
I thought everything was fine inmy world, right, it was trying
to get my son help for anxietythat I was on a call like this
with a performance coach and shesaid you blink like crazy when
(11:05):
you talk about your childhood.
You may have unresolvedchildhood trauma that's
affecting your son's anxiety.
And I'm like no way.
No, I'm the greatest dad.
I'm a single dad.
I do everything for my son, butI was like sure I'll try
anything.
And I went out there and in thecourse of a weekend, really, a
three-hour session with this guy, my life forever changed.
And what did we do?
(11:26):
We went back to my childhoodand we went back to the times
where there was stressful times,I had control taken from me,
there was some type of trauma,and we figured out the stories
that I told myself.
And the stories I told myselfwas something's wrong with me,
I'm not enough.
And then I quickly realized wasthat the truth, or was that my
(11:48):
perception of it?
And was it really my dad andhis issues?
And it was.
And at that point in time, ohmy gosh, I became free and I
could become myself.
And that's when my life hasradically changed in these last
three years.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (11:59):
That's so amazing and you know there are
so many.
I mean, I'm 65 now, so I haveso many friends that now talk
about things that happened tothem as a child, like really a
shocking amount of people that Iknow were molested and you know
like really heavy things.
Yeah, of family do I come from?
(12:22):
The people I don't know?
I assume a lot of people likeyou, younger 20s and 30s.
I mean I was married twicebefore Bill.
I did my fair share of champagneand cocaine, like a lot of it
in my 20s and I didn't evensettle down until I became a mom
.
I was like, oh, I can't bedoing that, I'm going to raise
(12:45):
this baby over here.
I know a lot of people that aremy age that are trying to
reflect back now and try to tofigure things out.
So I know that that's what youdo happiness and freedom coach.
So if a person found you andthey said, hey, brad, I need
help, what would be?
What would be like, um, like anaction that you could tell them
like, okay, take this one, likeI wanted you to give be.
Like an action that you couldtell them Like, okay, take this
(13:07):
one, like I want you to give uslike an applicable action that
someone listening could starthere.
Not necessarily, but like here'sthe thing that I could do today
.
Brad Chandler (13:19):
To figure it out.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (13:20):
To see what I need to do.
Brad Chandler (13:22):
Yeah.
So I've got a shirt on thatsays the only diet that works is
self-love, and I did not makethat up, I stole it from Jenny
Craig.
That's her saying, and I'mgoing to divert a little bit.
I'm going to come back to yourquestion.
Everyone has known peoplethat's lost a bunch of weight
and put it all back on.
Yeah, and they blame themselves.
Usually they're like I'm toolazy or I can't stick with a
(13:43):
program.
No, it has nothing to do withthat.
It has to do with your lack ofself-love from these childhood
programming issues that we'retalking about.
So a couple of years ago Icreated a self-love quiz for
probably me, my old version ofmyself, because if I was
listening to this, I would havebeen the guy saying I have high
self-esteem, I don't care whatother people think and I love
(14:04):
myself.
So if you go to bradchandlercomforward slash quiz and you
spend three minutes of your lifetaking these 12 questions or
multiple choices, you just clicka button and you get back a
result.
You're either going to get backextreme self-love, mild
self-love or lack of self-love.
If you score mild self-love orlack of self-loved one, it's an
(14:24):
indication that likely everyarea of your life to some degree
is negatively affected.
That doesn't mean you look atthose results and say, oh, my
life sucks, woe is me.
Just the opposite.
Look at it from the standpointthat, oh my gosh, if I lack
self-love, this is the reasonthat I can trace to every single
problem I have in my life andif I just do the, whether you
work with me or not, it doesn'tmatter.
(14:44):
But know that there is a betteroption than going to therapy
for 30 years, like I did, inthree to five hours.
Three hours, I had mybreakthrough, and now, with my
clients, it's usually betweenhour three and five.
So go take that quiz right nowand you're going to know if you
have an issue with thischildhood programming based on
the results this childhoodprogramming based on the results
(15:04):
.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (15:04):
I believe it.
I mean, when I married Bill, hehad two kids, so we became five
.
All three of my kids aremillennials and they're all into
the.
I go to counseling, I readthese books.
I'm healing my childhood traumaand all my kids do that and
when the first one did, I waslike I gave you no trauma and I
(15:28):
immediately felt responsible andI thought, no wait, not, it's
not my responsibility.
Whatever they feel, whateverhappened, whatever, whatever.
So I encourage all three ofthem.
But it's just interesting howthe younger generation first of
all, sadly, is triggered byliterally every single thing in
the face of the earth which isridiculous.
And you know they're all like,oh my God, as a child and I get
(15:52):
it, I know that that makes uswho we are.
But I think a lot of people uselike I'm triggered by what you
said to me.
It's like seriously grow abackbone.
But I do believe people have alot of childhood trauma.
I don't know what kind of shithappened in my childhood and we
do have that and people don'tknow how to start.
They just start reading books.
Brad Chandler (16:13):
Well, on that note, like you said, you're not
responsible for your child's.
You know issues.
If you lack self-love as aparent, there is no way that
that means that you feel you'renot enough to some degree.
How can you teach your childhow to feel enough if you don't
feel enough?
(16:33):
So this isn't to cast blame onyou or me, because I was in the
same boat.
We did the absolute best wecould do with our childhood.
But now that I have a differentawareness, my relationship with
my two kids is so differentthan it was three years ago
because I'm coming at it from acompletely different place and
every relationship I have isdifferent.
Relationship I have with my,with my girlfriend, is different
(16:54):
than it would have been threeyears ago, because now I see
myself in the world through acompletely different lens.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (17:01):
I think that's so neat.
I feel like everybody it's funny.
After you and I talked in thecar, you know, bill was in the
car with me and after we hung uphe and I talked for a while and
he was, like you know, Bill's ahot mess and he was like I have
no childhood trauma and I waslike dude, I could name like
five things that you do on thedaily that relate back to you
(17:24):
not being your dad.
And he just like he, you knowhe's the kind of guy I still
think that in his mind he thinkscounseling or help is like for
other people.
But we we start doing um, it'sa like a couple's bible study,
working through things, and westart doing that together and I
tell you it's made such a bigdifference for both of us and
(17:47):
I'm like dude, all of us havesomething.
All of us like I have my dadtoo.
My dad was the switch or thebelt.
My grandma was go pick yourswitch off the tree.
It's like I feel like thepicking of the switch should be
the punishment.
You don't need to get hit withit.
You stand there for 20 minutestrying to find one that's not
(18:07):
too big, not too small.
It's like that right there.
That should be the punishment.
Once you pick it off, thatshould be the end of the road
right there.
Brad Chandler (18:14):
Well, you and Bill should go after the talk
and go take the self-love quizand tell him the answer honestly
and see what you score.
But back to hitting a child.
Think about this what is theresponsibility or what should a
mother or father do for theirchild?
They should see them, theyshould hear them, they should
understand them and they shouldprotect them.
When you hit a child, you wereinflicting physical harm and
(18:38):
shame on that kid.
How do you think the kid'sgoing to react?
Probably like I did.
Why is this hat?
Why am I getting hit?
Cause I'm bad?
No, you're not bad.
You're not bad.
You.
Kids only misbehave for onereason they lack connection with
a parent and if you put them intimeout or you hit them, all
you're doing is furtherdisconnecting disconnecting them
(19:00):
from yourself and from them.
I like that, they like.
Just, they lack a connectionwith the parents and they're
(19:23):
just trying to.
They want love.
They're calling for love andattention, and what most parents
do, including myself.
I never hit my kids, but Iwould put them in timeout and
it's just not good.
It's, you know, and someone'sgonna hear this and be like oh
time I.
One of my mentors has a guythat had major problems at 35
years old because his parentswould put him in timeout and
(19:43):
close the door in his room forfive to 10 minutes.
And when you're six and sevenyears old you don't understand
time.
So this little boy thought Idon't know if they're ever
coming back.
I might die in here.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (19:53):
Now I don't mean to laugh.
Kids don't know time.
My grandson is four, so he'slearning days, what he thinks.
So he'll be like Mimi, pappy,I'm coming to your house in four
days and I'm staying for threedays.
They'll call the next day I'mcoming in three days, he can.
(20:14):
I'm like does he understandwhat a day is?
But when he gets there he'slike I'm staying for 10 days and
then like, yes, all days laterthat's not 10, and so he's
trying to learn time.
But he's just so cute right nowbecause everything has to have
a time on it when you're goingto meet, when you're going to
eat, when you're going to do it,he has everything has to have a
time for him.
And it's so cute because Inever met like a little kid like
(20:37):
that who's like so focused ontime.
But you're right, kids don'tknow time out.
You put them in and time outthey I mean when they,
especially when they're little10 minutes can seem like it's
the next day.
Brad Chandler (20:50):
Yeah, on Bill, I've seen you guys interact and
you look like you have a lot oflove.
But I'm here to tell you, asgood as your relationship is,
the problem with relationshipsis never the actual relationship
.
It's always the relationshipeach person has with themselves.
So you've already told me sometrauma that you had.
You got hit.
You've told me that he hadtrauma.
(21:11):
So if you guys haven't fullyprocessed this, if you were to
say, hey, I'm going to fullyprocess this stuff, you guys
have a good relationship orgreat, that will go to a whole
nother level, because you canopen up and be vulnerable and
share stuff that you may still,to this day, not feel completely
comfortable, based on yourbeliefs from your childhood.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (21:32):
Yeah, no, yeah, we actually should do that
.
After that whole last couple ofyears with the stem cell
transplant, we had a lot of daysjust the two of us living in
this special housing and we hada lot of time just to talk about
everything.
I think I learned more abouthim in that year than I have in
the whole 22 years that we weremarried, living in like this
special housing, and we had alot of time just to talk about
everything.
I think I learned more abouthim in that year than I have in
the whole 22 years that we weremarried, because we had nothing
(21:53):
but time.
Brad Chandler (21:54):
Wow.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (21:56):
What a blessing.
You know what we tell people.
I know it sounds so weird,because you know he had a stem
cell bone marrow transplantbecause he had a really rare
blood cancer.
There's no cure.
So it's like, well, you cantake these pills and you know,
maybe you like will live two tothree years because basically
your body, makes these giant redblood cells like, and they get
(22:17):
bigger and bigger and bigger andthen they can't pass through
your arteries and then the bonemarrow can't absorb them.
So you die or you're gonna havethis super risky, crazy bone
marrow transplant and we'll takeyou to death's door.
We'll give you a five millionnew stem cells and you know you
go for it and we always tellpeople instead of.
As weird as it sounds, that wasthe best year of our marriage
(22:40):
because it was just us.
You know it was so good and sowe were reading.
Well, I, he, he didn't readmuch.
I was always reading to him orwe were talking and we were
praying or reading the Bible,but with no, just us.
All the time.
We talked more than we havetalked the whole marriage.
It was really interesting andeveryone's like, oh my God, how
(23:02):
could that be a good year?
That was awful what you guyswent through.
I said no, we made the decisionto make it fun and make it
interesting and we educatedourselves and we talked about
things and we read and we didBible studies and we did this
stuff and we tell everyone likeI know it's hard to believe, but
that's the best year we everhad.
Brad Chandler (23:20):
So I said what a blessing earlier and I live my
life that everything happens forme, and I live my life that
everything happens for me.
And that's what happened.
There's a reason for everything.
Right In my hands I'm holdingtwo books, one called the Way of
Miracles and one called theMyth of Normal.
These are two really, reallysmart people that have
collectively helped tens ofthousands of people over the
(23:42):
last 40 years.
These two books, the basis ofthese books, are that
unprocessed childhood traumacauses health health, every,
pretty much every health thingon the planet.
So if you don't deal with yourS, H I T, nature deals with it,
because the stress eventuallyforces you to deal with it.
(24:04):
So I know it strikes a chordwith someone that cause these
guys believe that that it'scalled the way of miracles and
it's also a documentary on Gaia.
It's phenomenal.
And then and then the myth ofnormal by Dr Gabor Mate is if
you have stress in your life,stress is a major, major cause
(24:25):
of cancer and MS and depression,anxiety, pretty much everything
.
So this guy says, like I said,you either fix your stuff, or
nature fixes it through death,or they fix it through illness.
So a lot of people, just likeyou are, have looked at this as
a blessing.
I got to spend this time withmy husband.
We are now closer than everbefore.
(24:46):
Other people see it that thiswas caused by my stress.
So now I'm going to go back anddo the work to change my life.
It's just, life is just sobeautiful.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (24:55):
Now it really is.
I mean everyone, even hissister and brother, all like
this was the worst year ever.
Worrying about Bill and I waslike we loved it, we had fun.
You know, I think part of ittoo, brad, is like nobody.
We lived in a special place.
Nobody came over, nobody was in, bill was tired, didn't want to
talk a lot, so it was justalways us and we had so much
(25:17):
like uninterrupted time and inour daily just you know ebbs and
flows of life we don't havethat much, just completely
uninterrupted time all the time.
And this is I mean this wholeprocess is long.
It's like coming up next weekis just two years and so you
know at the end of a year you'resort of set free a little bit
(25:38):
and you know then two years andyou know, and then after that
you're like go live and be happyand we really just made really
good use of our time and wereally loved it.
Brad Chandler (25:49):
Good for you.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (25:50):
Everybody's like I can't believe you love
that.
I said well, obviously I wasworried about him.
I mean, I don't want the man todie.
I'm his full time caretaker.
You know it's like I don't wantthat on me and I don't want him
to die.
You know I want him to live,but I don't know.
Brad Chandler (26:06):
You made the best of a of a situation that could
have been really bad.
And you you shared with me acouple of days ago on the phone
that you actually quit someorganization because all they
wanted to talk about was diseaseand negativity.
And you're like, no, we're notgoing to talk about the what
could bad happen, we're going totalk about getting right.
And I believe that's why he'salive and why you guys are
thriving.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (26:26):
I do.
I'm telling you that, thatFacebook group.
After the first 10 posts I readI was like dang, all everyone
talks about is how bad they feel.
How many times they threw uplike da, da, da, just all these
things, bad things, there's allthis stuff.
And I was like holy cow.
I said I don't know if we cando this or not.
They were like you know what?
(26:47):
We're getting rid of that.
No, no negative words, we'rereading nothing negative.
I don't even think we watchedthe news.
I told the kids like listen, ifthe world's you know is getting
ready to blow up, text me.
Staying off the news nothing.
Brad Chandler (27:01):
Have you stayed off the news since then?
Dwan Bent-Twyford (27:04):
Mostly.
Brad Chandler (27:10):
I the news since then.
Mostly, I watch a little bitevery day just to make sure that
we're not getting Stop doing it, because there's nothing you
can do.
One of the greatest things I'vedone for my happiness other
than doing the work is I used tobe a news buff.
I watched the news before Iwent to work in the morning.
I'd watch 10 o'clock news.
It is so, so, so detrimentalfor you.
They've actually done studiesthat show that people that watch
the news have a higherlikelihood of anxiety and
depression, because all it is isnegative, negative, negative.
(27:33):
And you know what?
I don't know what the hell'sgoing on in the world and
there's nothing I can do aboutit.
So why do I need to know aboutmass shootings?
And it doesn't affect me andtherefore I'm going to live in
my happy bubble and forget thenews.
Let, let, let.
And therefore I'm going to livein my happy bubble and forget
the news.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (27:49):
Let the news be the news.
Now I have to agree I don'tever watch any in the morning.
Bill always likes to watch alittle bit.
He's a Fox News guy.
I know I want to watch it.
I'm just like, oh please, but Idon't like them.
Like dude, just anything.
Put on a Hallmark movie, let'sjust talk.
Put on some music, likeanything.
I don't like to watch the news.
But we started watching moremovies, listening to more music,
(28:12):
and now it's like we listen tomusic all the time.
We're dancing in the house inthe middle of the day.
It's like this is so muchbetter.
I honestly don't think all thatwouldn't happen had he not had
that illness like that.
It was crazy.
That illness like that is crazy.
Brad Chandler (28:24):
There you go.
Everything happens for you notto you.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (28:28):
You got to help me come up with a new
slogan.
I told you.
I said Bill and I are likewe're 65, we're still alive,
like woo.
We got to come up, but like tous it's funny.
And it's not funny funny, butmore like an inside joke,
because from February till Marchis the only time of the year
that we're the same age.
And then you know he's a yearolder and so I had my birthday.
(28:48):
He's like oh, we're 65.
We're still alive.
And I said that is true, andit's the last couple of years
have really been some, but wegot to come up with something a
little catchier.
So other people don't likethink like you're still alive.
What do you mean?
You're fine.
Brad Chandler (29:05):
Yeah.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:06):
I'm like 65, ready to thrive.
Brad Chandler (29:09):
There you go.
Much much better.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:12):
I have a slogan I do every year.
I don't know, it's a weirdthing, I've always done.
I have a slogan for every year.
Brad Chandler (29:18):
Oh, that's awesome.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:18):
When I turned 60, I was like 60, sexy and
sassy.
So just every year I have itand that's kind of like my, my
mental mantra to myself.
So I think we'll do like 65 andready to thrive.
It's got to match.
I got to come up with somethingthat rhymes, I don't know.
So it's just a weird thing Ialways do 65 and ready to thrive
(29:40):
.
Brad Chandler (29:40):
I mean, that's awesome 65, ready to thrive.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (29:43):
So, yeah, and I remember when 63 was, all
this happened.
I was like 63 and feeling free.
And then, even though weweren't free, we're like no, you
know what, we're free to liveand do this the way we want to
do it.
So technically, we're free.
Brad Chandler (29:56):
So 65 and we thrive and we thrive.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (30:00):
There you go 65 and we thrive yeah.
So I always got to have like alittle beat.
I don't know it's a weird thing, I do, bill and I both do it,
so that's funny.
So if people are cause I knowyou've been in real estate and
stuff as well, so people thatare, and you said that you made
(30:20):
some how many mistakes that costyou like $9 million.
Brad Chandler (30:24):
Five mistakes.
Yeah, no, we still.
We're going to flip, hopefullyclose to 300 houses this year.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (30:28):
Wow, 300.
Good for you, 300.
That's no joke.
Brad Chandler (30:32):
That's our goal.
We did 223 last year, 253 theyear before and we're heading to
300 this year.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (30:38):
Nice.
So do you have a company thatwholesales houses?
Brad Chandler (30:45):
Wholesales and fix and flips Yep Across the
country.
So we do do it across thecountry.
I're.
I'd say 90% of 95% of the dealsare in DC, Maryland, Virginia.
And then we started to do somein Southern California and then
sporadically, like we've, youknow, we've got a house under
contract in Florida and we'll doone in Illinois, or just, just,
you know, sporadically.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (31:03):
So do you feel like, um, obviously your
success is due to the fact thatyou know you're so smart and so
cute and adorable Like how couldyou not be successful?
But you've also worked througha lot of things.
Do you feel like a lot ofpeople that are in business or
have the big mistakes?
Do you feel like that is stuffthat goes all the way back to
childhood?
Brad Chandler (31:24):
I have a theory.
This is interesting.
I get a lot of theories.
I have a theory.
(31:50):
This is interesting.
I got a lot of theories.
Trauma affects people radicallydifferent.
The same type of trauma canaffect people radically
different.
So I believe that top athletesif you look at Tom Brady and
Michael Jordan and Tiger Woodsthe reason they got to be so
good is because they felt so badabout themselves and they had
to prove something.
So there's that angle.
And then there's the angle of,yes, I've got to prove something
, like myself, but I'm also soreckless because I needed so bad
to prove something that I mademistakes.
And then you have the thirdtheory where, if you look at the
IQs of like a middle levelmanager, at like a Walmart,
compared to a fortune 500 CEO,they're not that different.
(32:11):
So those and I'm not, I'm notlike putting down Walmart and
just using like a just take ablue collar job.
Right, the person working ablue collar job is really not
that less intelligent than thanuh, if you look at it on a scale
.
So why is it they don't make alot of money?
Because their limiting beliefwas I don't deserve it Me or the
(32:33):
Fortune 500 CEO was I have noalternative.
I've got to make a bunch ofmoney to prove my worth or I'm
going to die.
So it just affects.
But to answer your question,yes, I think entrepreneurs, a
lot of entrepreneurs, get inbusiness because they think if I
can make $5 million I'll behappy and worthy.
And I'm here to tell you it'llnever be that way, because look
(32:53):
at Matthew Perry and MichaelJackson and all those princes of
the world.
The trick is I can teach youhow today to get the state that
you're, after 10 years down theroad with $10 million.
And then, when you get thatstate today, you are far more
likely to make the $10 millionbecause you're doing it for the
reasons of making an impact anddoing something you love rather
(33:15):
than like me.
With real estate, I never care.
I thought I liked real estate.
I don't care about real estate.
I was put on this planet tohelp people stop their suffering
and thrive and become free,right?
So because of that now I havean insatiable appetite and all
I'm going to do for, hopefully,the next 60 years of my life is
(33:36):
become better and better at whatI do.
I love it and, by the way, themoney is going to come.
I'll probably make more moneyin this business than I did in
real estate, but it was thefirst business in my life that I
started where I never thoughtabout money.
All I thought about was howmany people can I help, how many
lives can I change, because Ino longer had to prove anything
to anybody.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (33:56):
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I started
teaching when I did, because Iwas here in Florida, actually in
Palm Beach County, and I didthose first couple of houses.
On the first couple of houses,you know, I was going through a
divorce, I got a kid.
I'm just like I need to makesome money, I want to work for
myself.
So after I did a few, I startedto realize that I can only help
(34:18):
one single person at a time.
But if I taught a few peoplehow to do it and I do 10 deals
and they do 10, and they do 10,and they do 10, we could help
more people.
So really, and I really, when Ifirst started teaching, I didn't
really know enough to teach.
I knew enough to talk to youabout wholesaling and how to fix
up a house and that's all Iknew.
But I taught that and I waslike, hey, listen, there's
(34:44):
thousands and thousands ofpeople and I know how they felt
because that happened to me whenI went through my divorce Lost
my house, my car, like you knowall the stuff that I got the
baby and you know, that's reallyall that matters.
And so that was kind of myinitial reason for wanting to
teach.
I was like well, if I can teachother people how to do what I'm
doing, we can help more people.
That's why I always say ourmotto is people before profits.
(35:05):
If you just help people, themoney comes.
If the people that focus on themoney are just so money hungry.
Brad Chandler (35:17):
I feel like those are the most unhappy people.
But it's really, really hard tofocus on people when your
brain's telling you you're nogood and you believe that money
is your way out.
For me, I believe at 10 yearsold, when my dad stopped paying
when he moved out, my mom saidat one point in time we may lose
this house and we may have tomove into public housing.
Well, she was a nurse and shehad taken me to this public
housing and I just knew therewas shootings there.
(35:38):
So I think my 10 year old brainsaid oh my God, if you run out
of money knew there wasshootings there.
So I think my 10 year old brainsaid, oh my God, if you run out
of money, you die.
And so I thought, oh my gosh,I've always got to have money
and it was.
I was in a CEO organizationabout 15 years ago and someone
was like what is?
Do you think that's why youbought so many houses?
And I was like, oh my gosh, Inever thought.
My subconscious mind probablysaid you almost died because you
(35:59):
lost your house, so you bettergo buy a bunch of houses and at
any given time I had I don'thave.
We've divested of all of them.
Now we probably own just thehouses we're fixing and flipping
, but at one point in time wehad over 100 houses.
It was probably my brain tryingto protect me.
This is what here's the crux ofeverything in everyone's life.
(36:20):
Whatever symptom that you'redealing with whether you have a
shitty marriage, or you eat toomuch, you drink too much, you
have anxiety, depression thoseare all actually solutions to
your problem.
Because you think that there'ssomething that's worse, that
you're trying to avoid, that youdon't want to face.
So you do the thing.
So, once you find out that thisthing that you think is worse,
(36:44):
so why does someone drink dayafter day after day, when they
know it's destroying their body?
Because they're trying not toface this thing over here that
they think is worse, Once we dothe work and you figure out this
thing, not only is it not worse, but it was made up when you
were a child to protect yourself.
When that goes away, then guesswhat?
The drinking goes away.
So that's the magic formula.
(37:06):
So everyone who's sufferingright now that's listening to
this thinking I eat too much, Idrink too much, this anxiety,
this depression, you don't havea disorder.
Your brain is doing exactlywhat it thinks it should be
doing, because it's taking youfrom pain to pleasure.
It thinks there's somethingactually worse, but that thing
isn't really worse.
And when you figure that out,your brain automatically says
(37:26):
wait, I can't hold twoconflicting thoughts.
This doesn't make sense.
Oh my gosh, I've been livingthis way all these years, the
wrong way.
This isn't me.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (37:36):
Now it's brilliant.
I'm so excited for when thispodcast comes out.
I'm to tell everyone likelisten, y'all got to listen to
brad.
There's just so many people Ijust so many people I know that
have all those issues and I knowit's because people just don't
want to.
And it is true.
I think one of the reasons Imade so much money right away is
(37:57):
I've been fired from denny's.
My husband left, I lost myhouse on my car and I had the
and I was like I don't want thatto happen again, so I better
make a bunch of money over hereto make sure I'm safe.
And I think, now that we'retalking, I think subconsciously,
my fear of all that happeningagain is what made me go crazy
on this side of the fence.
Brad Chandler (38:17):
Yeah, our fears drive everything and the people
that it's not.
Fears drive everything and thepeople that it's not.
So some people are scared toface their issues, which they
shouldn't be, because it's not.
It's not a hard process, as youthink.
Other people have tried certainthings, but they've gone to
traditional therapy andtraditional therapy.
God love them.
They try their best and some ofthem are phenomenal and some of
(38:38):
them get success.
But what they do is they focuson the symptoms in the conscious
mind.
The thought that you're tryingto avoid is hidden.
It's buried in yoursubconscious mind and the magic
is you got to get to yoursubconscious mind.
So I use hypnosis, which isnothing more than a deep,
relaxed state, to ask your brain, because your subconscious
brain knows the source of yourproblems.
(38:59):
So we just ask it what's thecause of this depression?
And we go back to that place.
So whatever you're dealing with, it's not your fault and there
is a better way.
That doesn't take, like youknow, 20 years or 30 years in my
case of therapy.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (39:14):
I know.
I know I always encouragepeople like just dig in, find
out.
I mean, I'm sure I've got youand I should do some sessions
together.
I feel like you could reallyhelp me uncover.
I feel like I've uncoveredunearthed most of my stuff, but
you never know yeah, it hides it, we're always growing, you know
, always growing, alwayschanging.
There's always things happening,there's always new things
(39:35):
coming on.
So let's, uh, we're gonna skiptopics up for a minute.
We're gonna jump completetopics for a minute.
We're going to jump completetopics.
Tell me your favorite band ofall time.
Brad Chandler (39:44):
Oh wow.
I mean, I could sit here forfive minutes, but I think, if I
had to listen, probably GeorgeStrait.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (39:54):
George Strait King George.
Brad Chandler (39:56):
I saw him in concert a couple of months ago
with Chris Stapleton at theTampa Bay Arena.
It was pretty epic.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (40:03):
I love George Strait he has.
What does he have like 55number one hits or something.
Brad Chandler (40:08):
A lot.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (40:09):
Every song, every album he puts out, it's
just number one.
The day it comes out, he'sspecial.
That's Bill's favorite countryperson is George Strait.
He is good, he's amazing, youknow.
You maybe did not know taylorswift used to open for him oh
wow, no, I didn't she used toopen for george straight.
(40:30):
So I saw an interview one time,him and her and uh, something we
just watched a few weeks agowhere they were doing some kind
of a tribute and she sang one ofhis songs and I was like, wow,
table, so she's open for georgestraight.
Imagine she was so nervousmeeting George Strait and now
he's probably like dang girl,you went and dominated the whole
world, I like country.
(40:51):
You know who I just discoveredis Jelly Roll.
Brad Chandler (40:56):
Oh, I love them too.
Yeah, that deep, raspy voice, Ilove it.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (41:00):
I'm like so in love with him right now.
I listen to that music all thetime.
I just literally justdiscovered it.
We have tickets to a thing he'sdoing in our little town in
Iowa this summer and of courseyou know, being part of the
downtown, I've got some VIPtickets and people are like you
want to get rid of your tickets.
I was like hell.
No, I'm going to go meet Jelly.
Roll meet jelly roll man nice,and it's like it's not really
(41:23):
kind of music.
Well, I am more like of a bluesgirl, but that's like my
favorite person right now.
What's?
Brad Chandler (41:28):
your favorite food uh, probably filet mignon
ah, there you go.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (41:39):
I love it, but what's your favorite time of
the day, like out of the wholeday, from waking up to going to
sleep?
Do you have a piece of timethat's like your favorite part
of your day?
Brad Chandler (41:50):
You know I just love crawling in the bed at
night and reading a book on,again, the science of the brain,
trauma psychology.
Just freaking love it.
I got a therapeutic, uh,tempur-pedic bed recently and it
adjust and put it in zerogravity.
Um, I, I look, I, I, I justcherish every part of the day,
but that, if you, if you pin medown, um, yeah, I'm going to go
(42:14):
with that.
That's my final answer.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (42:16):
Final answer.
You know it's funny cause I askeverybody that well, not
everyone.
Since I started, I try toswitch up my questions every few
months, but since I startedasking people that I am a night
person too, bill and I reallylook forward to going to bed.
Like we get in the bed togetherand we're just like it's quiet,
(42:38):
we talk, and 90% of people arelike oh, I get up at four
o'clock in the morning.
I love the morning and I'm justlike Kelly, I love the end.
I like the nighttime.
I like getting into bed.
I put on my heated blanket, Iadjust the head and the feet, I
get all snuggled in.
It's like this is the best partof the whole day.
So there's not very many of usthat say that.
(42:59):
Most everyone's like oh, I likethat.
5 to 6 am it's like, dude, I amsleeping.
Brad Chandler (43:06):
Yeah, snuggle time is great.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (43:08):
That is not for me.
I like that.
So now, what is your biggestgoal that you're working on
right now, and how can we add towonderful?
How can we help you?
Brad Chandler (43:19):
So I turned 50 last year and I'm manifesting
that I'm going to live to be 110.
And my goal is to help amillion people get the gift that
I was given, and that's to findfreedom and happiness by
reconnecting with themselves andgetting rid of these limiting
beliefs that are buried in theirsubconscious mind.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (43:37):
Okay.
So, folks, we have to help thisman reach his goal Turn 50.
You look fantastic for 50, bythe way, I'm sure you know that,
and you all live to be 110.
I'm like, I'm all for living tobe 110 as long as I'm healthy,
and we want to help 1 millionpeople.
So, everyone at Dwanderful, weput things to prayer, we help
(44:00):
you reach your goal, and I wouldlove to be a tiny little piece
of helping you reach that goaland that, by the way, is a
beautiful goal.
Brad Chandler (44:09):
Thank you.
Yeah, I just I came back fromthis transformation.
I looked around.
I saw the people suffering.
I was like, oh my gosh, they'resuffering for the same reason I
was, and now I know how I canhelp them.
And I got to do it and that'sall I've been doing for the last
three years is helping people.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (44:24):
I love it.
I love it.
I think that is a beautifulgoal, and I'm all about trying
to help you out.
Brad Chandler (44:35):
So again, people find you at bradchandler.
com forward slash, contact Yepand check out my podcast how to
Be Happier for Entrepreneurs.
If you love this type of stuff,you're going to love the
podcast.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (44:44):
How to Be Happy for Entrepreneurs, and I
am so excited I get to be aguest on that show.
Yes, you're definitely going towant to watch it, for no other
reason because I'm on there.
Brad Chandler (44:53):
Yes.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (44:54):
And we'll have fun over there too.
All right.
Last thing is, I want you togive us a parting word of wisdom
, but just one word.
Brad Chandler (45:07):
Love.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (45:10):
Okay, so all my Dwanderful people know that,
whatever the word is that yougive us, that is, our word of
the week is love.
But what does it mean to you?
Brad Chandler (45:21):
Well, I don't know if your hyphenated word
counts.
I really wanted to sayself-love, that's what it means
the quicker that you canunderstand that you have all the
happiness you ever needed tohave inside you and that there's
nothing wrong with you, thatyou are always enough.
You always will be enough.
When you can have thatself-love, your relationships,
(45:42):
your health, your finances,everything will change.
Dwan Bent-Twyford (45:48):
Okay, I love it.
So we'll take self-love, we'llcount the hyphen and we'll make
it one word Love it.
Because people always want togive me this line no, no, no, no
, no.
We just want a word.
We want a word that we can allpray and meditate on this week.
So self-love, and I love whatyou say about that and I could
not agree with you more.
I could not agree more.
So first, I want to thank youso much for being on the show
(46:10):
today.
It's been so much fun talkingand just reconnecting with you
and I'm really looking forwardto this episode coming out.
Everyone's going to love it,and all of you.
If you had fun today, if youlaughed, if you learned anything
, I always ask you to do me afavor and I want you to
(46:30):
subscribe.
I want you to leave me afive-star review, I want you to
write something nice and followme on all my socials, and if you
would like to watch this videowhen it comes out, it will be on
my YouTube channel.
It's in the show notes, butit's wonderful real estate.
So some of you like to listenwhen you're running and doing
things.
Some people like to sit downand watch.
I mean, brad, look how cute weare.
(46:51):
How could they not want towatch?
us, I know, you got to watch itover at my YouTube channel and
this is one you're going to wantto watch.
You're definitely going to wantto watch.
You're definitely going to wantto watch this.
So thank you again, everyone.
Have a great week.
We'll be back next week.
Same bat time, same bat channel.
And remember that the truth isin the red letter.
All right, thank you, brad.
(47:12):
Thank you.
Ciao.
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