Have you ever had a reaction that felt bigger than the situation? Maybe your partner forgot something small, and suddenly you felt worthless. These moments often have roots in our past.
In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Tamera Broughton to talk about how our unmet childhood needs show up in adult life, relationships, and emotional reactions. We explore how trauma is more than big, obvious events, it can also be the quiet absence of attunement, delight, or safety when we need it most.
Together, we unpack how to recognise when old wounds are being triggered, what healing can look like through therapies like EMDR, and why making the “invisible visible” is key to moving forward.
Key Takeaways:
- Trauma isn’t just what happened to you, it’s also what was missing.
- Disproportionate reactions often signal old pain, not just present triggers.
- Unmet emotional needs can create shaky “scaffolding” that affects self-worth and relationships.
- Healing involves strengthening internal resources as well as processing past pain.
- EMDR therapy can help shift old beliefs (“I’m not enough”) into healthier, adaptive ones.
- Noticing patterns and reactions is the first step toward change.
If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend or loved one who’s curious about the impact of childhood experiences on adult life.
Resources:
- Tamera’s website: https://centreself.com.au/clinicians-item/tamera-broughton-n/
- What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
Connected Teens
https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/
Connect with Marie
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
Submit a question to the Podcast
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.