How Couples Therapy Works (And When to Start)

Have you ever wondered when the right time is to try couples therapy? Or if you even need a major issue to start? Many people hesitate to seek support for their relationship, often waiting years before getting help—sometimes even separating without exploring their options.

Today, we’re tackling the most common questions about couples therapy, from how to know if it’s right for you to what actually happens in a session. Joining me is Anne, my practice manager and the person who keeps everything running smoothly behind the scenes. Anne has gathered real questions from clients, friends, and people curious about what happens in couples therapy.

We’re covering everything from whether you need to forgive past mistakes to what to do if your partner refuses to come. And yes, we even get into the weirdest things couples have fought about in my sessions (spoiler: toilet paper placement can be a deal-breaker for some!).

Key Takeaways:

• When to seek therapy: You don’t need a crisis to start—therapy can help at any stage, including as a preventative step.

• How couples therapy works: From assessments to interventions, we break down what actually happens in a session.

• What if my partner won’t go? Tips for approaching the conversation and increasing the chances they’ll say yes.

• Affairs, open relationships, and trust: Can couples therapy help rebuild after betrayal or navigate non-traditional relationships?

• The Gottman Method: Why I use it, and how science-backed assessments help guide therapy.

• Traditional vs. Marathon Therapy: The difference between weekly sessions and intensive two- or three-day programs.

• How long does it take? Realistic expectations for therapy length and why a “quick fix” isn’t always the best approach.

• Ground rules for therapy: What’s acceptable (venting frustrations) and what’s not (secret-keeping, name-calling).

• Handling conflict: How understanding your partner’s background can completely shift a heated debate.

• Secrets in relationships: What’s okay to keep private and what could be damaging to your connection.

Resources Mentioned:

📖 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – John & Julie Gottman

📖 Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love – John & Julie Gottman

📖 Hold Me Tight – Sue Johnson

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might find it helpful. And if you have a question about couples therapy that we didn’t answer, send it in—we might tackle it in a future episode!

Connect with Marie

https://thetherapyhub.com.au/

https://marievakakis.com.au/

https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

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