#47 -How To Navigate Relationships as a Stoics

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Show notes

Podcast listener question:

I definitely struggle with keeping my emotions in check when dealing with all aspects of life, but even more so when it comes to relationships.

• We cannot get rid of negative emotions.

Podcast listener question:

I have been working on avoiding unnecessary attachment and accepting the things that happen around me of which I have no control…

• Dichotomy of Control
• Trichotomy of Control

Podcast listener question:

But it is hard. Takes concerted, focused effort each day. And some days are better than others

-Memento Mori.

Podcast listener question:

Dealing with disappointment / rejection in a healthy, constructive manner. Not to discount the pain or hurt, but also not allowing yourself to wallow in that place of negativity for longer than is necessary to release any attachment and move forward.

• Suffering
• Grief morning Seneca
• Masculinity
• Perspective

Story of astronaut’s perspective

Perspective from space

Source: Stillness is the key, chapter All is One.

In 1971 the astronaut Edgar Mitchell saw the planet from a distance of over 350,000 km (217.000 miles) and felt an overwhelming sense of connection, this is the place where all suffering and joy comes from.

Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan

pale blue dot

Escalation of commitment

To have a sense of foolish consistency in a behavior that has no benefits. Yet, we find it hard to quit because we feel we’ve already committed and we must stay consistent at all cost.

Also known as The sunk cost fallacy (or Concorde fallacy)

We must learn to free time to gain clarity.

We feel guilty about saying no to something we don’t want to do, because we don’t want to hurt the feelings of whoever invited us to do it.

We find it easier to tell someone. I can’t do your thing, because I already committed to something else. Instead of. No I don’t want to do that because I’d rather have free time instead.

Selfishness

Taking control of your own time and saying no to things without guilt is not selfishness. Selfishness is wanting other people to do what we want when we want it.

Source: Anthony DeMello Awareness

What are you willing to suffer for.

Having better problems.