August 5, 2025 • 13 mins
This week’s a special one.
I’m going back to one of the most important lessons I’ve ever taught.
Self-awareness.
Not the generic, “journal your feelings” kind.
I’m talking about a powerful, real-world framework that shows you where your life is out of alignment.
Most people define self-awareness as “knowing yourself.”But there are actually two types:
- Internal self-awareness: How well do you know who you are?
- External self-awareness: Do you understand how others perceive you?
Both matter. A lot.
And most people aren’t nearly as accurate as they think.
That misalignment causes stress.
Bad decisions.
Unfulfilling jobs.
Relationships that drain instead of energize.
In today’s lesson, I walk you through the six pillars of self-awareness.
It’s THE practical way to measure whether your life, work, thoughts, goals, and habits are aligned with the person you say you want to be.
This isn’t theory. It’s a diagnostic.And it’s going to help you course-correct in a powerful way.
If your inner and outer life feel even a little out of sync… this one’s for you.
If you'd like to build a great career and lead a rewarding life, check out some of these other places where I share my teachings:
1. Check out the milewalk Academy, my coaching and training site, for freemiums and premiums.
2. I have hundreds of educational and inspirational videos on my YouTube Channel.
3. Grab any of my three books related to interviewing, hiring, and goal setting. All can be found on my Amazon Author Page.
4. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter (X), TikTok, Threads, and Facebook.
5. Stay in touch with me in your email inbox by joining my newsletter here!
--Andy
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
There's two types of self-awareness internal this is how we see ourselves right am I the
way I think I am and then external how external is not how we are to others it's our interpretation
of how others see us so if I would say to you let me see how would they all describe
(00:24):
coach Andy my my accuracy in the words that you would use to describe me is my level of external
self-awareness What will what will set apart our interpretations is our upbringing so I might say
(00:44):
hm these people will see me this way and some of you it might align and some of you it might not
and others might not see me that way at all and now there's multiple components at play I could
just be externally oblivious VI to how I'm coming off or your upbringing and your interpretation of
(01:07):
what I'm saying that's based on how you see me and what your life is like if you are somebody who has
been brought up where you are constantly being screwed over by people you might think everything
I say is only with a sale in mind right because your upbringing might might automatically train
(01:27):
you the automated thoughts that move at the speed of your emotions others who are more trusting or
maybe who have observed me longer where I spend a lot of time offering a lot of free stuff might not
have that interpretation does that make my level of external self-awareness more accurate or less
(01:47):
accurate No I don't even know that that question needs to be answered I just want you to know
that when you're trying to evaluate that on the external side make sure you are conscious of who
you are asking about their interpretation of you does that make sense do this for people who know
you really really well whose opinion you trust to the utmost okay so just so you know that's that's
(02:13):
a okay the second thing is when you're trying to build self-awareness or gauge it these are my six
now I did a lot of research for the self-awareness lesson when I did it a few years back
but I assure you no other self-awareness Insight is packaged this way because this is me meaning
(02:36):
this is what I think it takes so the protocols and going back to the five FS that are really
my priorities you know my faith my fitness my finances my my friends and family the relationship
and and all the things that go along with my vocation these kinds of things they're your
(02:57):
protocols if these are not dialed in correctly ly and you do not stay consistent with them it's hard
to be self-aware the next thing is your interests is what you do and what you love and what you're
passionate about consistent with what you do on a day in and day out basis meaning like your
vocation for example do you do work that is not even remotely like what you actually want to be
(03:20):
or want that's being internally inconsistent with your self-awareness it is goals do you set goals
that are consistent with you and what you want I set goals around my health or or or I put Flags
in the ground that make me support who I want to be in alignment with the goals I want to achieve
(03:45):
the goals I set from a vocational standpoint have to do with work but not about how much revenue the
myok and myok Academy arms make it's how many people am I helping am I truly helping them
is the complexion of the people in my community and my customers the profile that I want to
(04:06):
attract all of those things are goals that I have in my company but are are the goals
that you're setting consistent with who you are and then the operating environment I assure you
this level of cleanliness nay the dog beds and whatever is what my house looks like it's what
my my office looks like and I don't have to spend 4 hours on a Saturday cleaning everything cuz it's
(04:30):
not in the in in the place I want it I'll spend 15 minutes once a month dusting everything with
the pledge kind of thing but is your operating environment consistent do you enjoy your home
I'm not talking about gez I wish I had a bigger house because I have seven kids I'm just talking
about generally speaking is the environments that you are constantly around consistent
(04:53):
with what you want the thoughts are the thoughts that you have consistent with what you're doing
and the behaviors are the behaviors that you display consistent with who you want to be and
so number one first part of all six of these are these to me are not only measuring sticks
(05:14):
but really these are the six pillars that if you closely examine them you will know where you're
out of sync from a self-awareness standpoint it's true when when people when people you talk about
interests in work when people people say I'll just take that job cuz the money's so good that's being
inconsistent from an internal self-awareness standpoint because you will eventually get
(05:39):
tired of that job even if it pays you more if it if it's not something that's consistent with who
you want to be internally so these are great guide posts um they're great kind of pillars and they're
great yard sticks to measure yourself against now let's go let's go through a a real real
(06:00):
quick little exercise just to kind of get your Diaries going on this but okay here's here's
the tip for today that I want you to just kind of think about and you could go along with this you
could play along in your head with me right now are you how stressed are you about pick anything
(06:20):
how stressed are you just imagine something you're Str you can share it if you want you
don't have to share it if you don't want to and then what is it about what are you stressed about
and then think about was that your choice now I'm not let's not go off like off the rails here
(06:40):
again with that I'm a Believer in that everything that happens to you is a result of your decisions
what you invited into your life at a macro level goes back forever and all that good stuff so I'm
not even talking about that but just very quickly was it something you chose are you stressed out
that you got to watch your niece and nephew next weekend you know what I mean like anything pick
(07:03):
anything do does your does your boss stress you out a boss that you interviewed with took the job
and went work for directly I'm not talking about a boss that was thrust upon you because that was
your choice because you didn't have to take the job kind of thing right think about your decision
pattern was it well thought out did you gather all the data did you evaluate it against who you are
(07:26):
who you want to be all that internal congruence that I just talked about on the previous card was
it a quick emotional decision did it sound like it was going to be cool do you have any I want
to I I would conservatively say I get 10 emails a week inboxed on LinkedIn or in some various form
of people who want to be career coaches and want to know they said it sounds so great I know I was
(07:51):
born to do this I would love to pick your brain I see you have established a successful business
would you be open to talking to me and inevitably don't usually not because I don't want to help
them but often times I'll click around I'll look at their background I'll look at who they are
because this might be an opportunity to develop a relationship with somebody but inevitably most
(08:12):
of the people I don't think there's any chance they'll be successful not because they couldn't
be successful and they most certainly could prove me wrong and it isn't even about me being right
or wrong because I'm always weighing what am I going to do with my time if I'm talking to them
about their career coach in business cuz they're a coach wannabe that might mean one of you I would
(08:33):
have to sacrifice giving you a coaching session which is not something I'm going to do so when I
and and then what'll happen is I will see how they might try to do this and then all of a
sudden 6 months later they take another job as a HR person or a recruiter or whatever and to which
I say it sounds great like to do this but you can't even imagine the pain the suffering the
(09:00):
mental anguish and bruises that I have incurred in order to get the business to where it is and what
I find is that most people like the sound of doing something I'd love to open up my own business I'd
love to open up a restaurant I'd love to do this and that but they don't truly appreciate all the
things that they're going to need to sacrifice and what that's actually going to entail so when you
(09:22):
go back and you think about was it an emotional decision or based on how you thought it would make
you feel did you truly think it through and did you talk to the right people now maybe they were
reaching out to get them a counsel and maybe they wouldn't even have tried if if they' have talk to
me but the point is lots of times we're making decisions based on what we think it'll look like
(09:43):
on the outside or what we think it how it we think it will make us feel instead of going through a
true evaluation and internally making sure that what drives me the reason I'm still here the
reason you're listening to me now wherever like if you're here with me live or you're watching this
on a recording is because my need to help you superseded any Comforts that I could possibly
(10:10):
have in my life it's true because I could make a lot more money doing a lot less work but it
wouldn't be nearly as rewarding and for those of you that were with me last month what are two
things I told you I am not motivated and creative and what I probably more accurately should have
said is I will not rely on motivation cuz in an instant people are motivated to help people for
(10:34):
whatever reason maybe they went through something that was traumatizing or you know maybe they had
a career Quake of of sorts and it was a 10 on the RoR scale and all of a sudden they thought
I don't want anybody else to go through this ever again so I'm going to open up a career coaching
business when the fact of the matter is that you're about to endure years and years of pain
and suffering before you can actually get it to the point where you're truly going to be able to
(10:59):
reach your mission so I say this to you I only use that as an example but go through this exercise
really think and then think about if you had to do it over again what questions would you have
asked would you have investigated there's there's a a law out there called the law of diminishing
intent does anybody know what this law is the law diminishing intent here let's give you a
(11:25):
funny you know you know when you're out with your friends and and Heat of like the fourth
beer and you're talking about or second Martini or third Martini or whenever it kicks in for you
about you all taking n vacation together right but then the next day it's still kind of a good
idea and then a week later it's less and a week later it's less to the point where you never kick
(11:47):
it are there any of you that have gone on to set up your career development plans which sounded
gung-ho because you were listening to coach Andy talk and he got you all charged up and then all
of a sudden you got a new assignment at work and it required a lot of time and then setting up your
career development plan didn't seem as important because you had some short-term issues and then
time went on and then that setting up that career development plan is a figment of your imagination
(12:12):
now do you follow me this is what happens do you know how you overcome this you don't rely
on motivation I rely on discipline this thing the best self Co planner that I use first thing that
goes on at every week where is my time to pay me in skill development where is that it might be
Sunday morning it might be Saturday afternoon it might be 6:00 a.m. on a Monday it could be
(12:38):
anywhere I need to figure out where it goes but it goes down first and it I don't put anything
else on the plan until I put that on the plan every Monday morning every Monday morning doesn't
matter what the Market's doing I find some money in in this account and move it into this account
which makes money for me every Monday every Monday now not once a month every Monday right
(13:02):
I rely on that so that I save first I pay myself in skill development time first so this is It's
really it's really important that you set these kind of things up for you to think about this
There's two types of self-awareness internal this is how we see ourselves right am I the
way I think I am and then external how external is not how we are to others it's our interpretation
of how others see us so if I would say to you let me see how would they all describe
(00:24):
coach Andy my my accuracy in the words that you would use to describe me is my level of external
self-awareness What will what will set apart our interpretations is our upbringing so I might say
(00:44):
hm these people will see me this way and some of you it might align and some of you it might not
and others might not see me that way at all and now there's multiple components at play I could
just be externally oblivious VI to how I'm coming off or your upbringing and your interpretation of
(01:07):
what I'm saying that's based on how you see me and what your life is like if you are somebody who has
been brought up where you are constantly being screwed over by people you might think everything
I say is only with a sale in mind right because your upbringing might might automatically train
(01:27):
you the automated thoughts that move at the speed of your emotions others who are more trusting or
maybe who have observed me longer where I spend a lot of time offering a lot of free stuff might not
have that interpretation does that make my level of external self-awareness more accurate or less
(01:47):
accurate No I don't even know that that question needs to be answered I just want you to know
that when you're trying to evaluate that on the external side make sure you are conscious of who
you are asking about their interpretation of you does that make sense do this for people who know
you really really well whose opinion you trust to the utmost okay so just so you know that's that's
(02:13):
a okay the second thing is when you're trying to build self-awareness or gauge it these are my six
now I did a lot of research for the self-awareness lesson when I did it a few years back
but I assure you no other self-awareness Insight is packaged this way because this is me meaning
(02:36):
this is what I think it takes so the protocols and going back to the five FS that are really
my priorities you know my faith my fitness my finances my my friends and family the relationship
and and all the things that go along with my vocation these kinds of things they're your
(02:57):
protocols if these are not dialed in correctly ly and you do not stay consistent with them it's hard
to be self-aware the next thing is your interests is what you do and what you love and what you're
passionate about consistent with what you do on a day in and day out basis meaning like your
vocation for example do you do work that is not even remotely like what you actually want to be
(03:20):
or want that's being internally inconsistent with your self-awareness it is goals do you set goals
that are consistent with you and what you want I set goals around my health or or or I put Flags
in the ground that make me support who I want to be in alignment with the goals I want to achieve
(03:45):
the goals I set from a vocational standpoint have to do with work but not about how much revenue the
myok and myok Academy arms make it's how many people am I helping am I truly helping them
is the complexion of the people in my community and my customers the profile that I want to
(04:06):
attract all of those things are goals that I have in my company but are are the goals
that you're setting consistent with who you are and then the operating environment I assure you
this level of cleanliness nay the dog beds and whatever is what my house looks like it's what
my my office looks like and I don't have to spend 4 hours on a Saturday cleaning everything cuz it's
(04:30):
not in the in in the place I want it I'll spend 15 minutes once a month dusting everything with
the pledge kind of thing but is your operating environment consistent do you enjoy your home
I'm not talking about gez I wish I had a bigger house because I have seven kids I'm just talking
about generally speaking is the environments that you are constantly around consistent
(04:53):
with what you want the thoughts are the thoughts that you have consistent with what you're doing
and the behaviors are the behaviors that you display consistent with who you want to be and
so number one first part of all six of these are these to me are not only measuring sticks
(05:14):
but really these are the six pillars that if you closely examine them you will know where you're
out of sync from a self-awareness standpoint it's true when when people when people you talk about
interests in work when people people say I'll just take that job cuz the money's so good that's being
inconsistent from an internal self-awareness standpoint because you will eventually get
(05:39):
tired of that job even if it pays you more if it if it's not something that's consistent with who
you want to be internally so these are great guide posts um they're great kind of pillars and they're
great yard sticks to measure yourself against now let's go let's go through a a real real
(06:00):
quick little exercise just to kind of get your Diaries going on this but okay here's here's
the tip for today that I want you to just kind of think about and you could go along with this you
could play along in your head with me right now are you how stressed are you about pick anything
(06:20):
how stressed are you just imagine something you're Str you can share it if you want you
don't have to share it if you don't want to and then what is it about what are you stressed about
and then think about was that your choice now I'm not let's not go off like off the rails here
(06:40):
again with that I'm a Believer in that everything that happens to you is a result of your decisions
what you invited into your life at a macro level goes back forever and all that good stuff so I'm
not even talking about that but just very quickly was it something you chose are you stressed out
that you got to watch your niece and nephew next weekend you know what I mean like anything pick
(07:03):
anything do does your does your boss stress you out a boss that you interviewed with took the job
and went work for directly I'm not talking about a boss that was thrust upon you because that was
your choice because you didn't have to take the job kind of thing right think about your decision
pattern was it well thought out did you gather all the data did you evaluate it against who you are
(07:26):
who you want to be all that internal congruence that I just talked about on the previous card was
it a quick emotional decision did it sound like it was going to be cool do you have any I want
to I I would conservatively say I get 10 emails a week inboxed on LinkedIn or in some various form
of people who want to be career coaches and want to know they said it sounds so great I know I was
(07:51):
born to do this I would love to pick your brain I see you have established a successful business
would you be open to talking to me and inevitably don't usually not because I don't want to help
them but often times I'll click around I'll look at their background I'll look at who they are
because this might be an opportunity to develop a relationship with somebody but inevitably most
(08:12):
of the people I don't think there's any chance they'll be successful not because they couldn't
be successful and they most certainly could prove me wrong and it isn't even about me being right
or wrong because I'm always weighing what am I going to do with my time if I'm talking to them
about their career coach in business cuz they're a coach wannabe that might mean one of you I would
(08:33):
have to sacrifice giving you a coaching session which is not something I'm going to do so when I
and and then what'll happen is I will see how they might try to do this and then all of a
sudden 6 months later they take another job as a HR person or a recruiter or whatever and to which
I say it sounds great like to do this but you can't even imagine the pain the suffering the
(09:00):
mental anguish and bruises that I have incurred in order to get the business to where it is and what
I find is that most people like the sound of doing something I'd love to open up my own business I'd
love to open up a restaurant I'd love to do this and that but they don't truly appreciate all the
things that they're going to need to sacrifice and what that's actually going to entail so when you
(09:22):
go back and you think about was it an emotional decision or based on how you thought it would make
you feel did you truly think it through and did you talk to the right people now maybe they were
reaching out to get them a counsel and maybe they wouldn't even have tried if if they' have talk to
me but the point is lots of times we're making decisions based on what we think it'll look like
(09:43):
on the outside or what we think it how it we think it will make us feel instead of going through a
true evaluation and internally making sure that what drives me the reason I'm still here the
reason you're listening to me now wherever like if you're here with me live or you're watching this
on a recording is because my need to help you superseded any Comforts that I could possibly
(10:10):
have in my life it's true because I could make a lot more money doing a lot less work but it
wouldn't be nearly as rewarding and for those of you that were with me last month what are two
things I told you I am not motivated and creative and what I probably more accurately should have
said is I will not rely on motivation cuz in an instant people are motivated to help people for
(10:34):
whatever reason maybe they went through something that was traumatizing or you know maybe they had
a career Quake of of sorts and it was a 10 on the RoR scale and all of a sudden they thought
I don't want anybody else to go through this ever again so I'm going to open up a career coaching
business when the fact of the matter is that you're about to endure years and years of pain
and suffering before you can actually get it to the point where you're truly going to be able to
(10:59):
reach your mission so I say this to you I only use that as an example but go through this exercise
really think and then think about if you had to do it over again what questions would you have
asked would you have investigated there's there's a a law out there called the law of diminishing
intent does anybody know what this law is the law diminishing intent here let's give you a
(11:25):
funny you know you know when you're out with your friends and and Heat of like the fourth
beer and you're talking about or second Martini or third Martini or whenever it kicks in for you
about you all taking n vacation together right but then the next day it's still kind of a good
idea and then a week later it's less and a week later it's less to the point where you never kick
(11:47):
it are there any of you that have gone on to set up your career development plans which sounded
gung-ho because you were listening to coach Andy talk and he got you all charged up and then all
of a sudden you got a new assignment at work and it required a lot of time and then setting up your
career development plan didn't seem as important because you had some short-term issues and then
time went on and then that setting up that career development plan is a figment of your imagination
(12:12):
now do you follow me this is what happens do you know how you overcome this you don't rely
on motivation I rely on discipline this thing the best self Co planner that I use first thing that
goes on at every week where is my time to pay me in skill development where is that it might be
Sunday morning it might be Saturday afternoon it might be 6:00 a.m. on a Monday it could be
(12:38):
anywhere I need to figure out where it goes but it goes down first and it I don't put anything
else on the plan until I put that on the plan every Monday morning every Monday morning doesn't
matter what the Market's doing I find some money in in this account and move it into this account
which makes money for me every Monday every Monday now not once a month every Monday right
(13:02):
I rely on that so that I save first I pay myself in skill development time first so this is It's
really it's really important that you set these kind of things up for you to think about this
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