Never Negotiate Salary Over Email | Do This Instead

I know it’s tempting.

A recruiter emails you with your job offer.

You want to reply quickly.

Clear things up.

Maybe even negotiate.

But email is the worst place to have that conversation.

Why?

Have you ever heard of Albert Mehrabian?

He developed “The Mehrabian Rule.”

Catchy, yes.

But more importantly, true.

His rule is also known as the 7-38-55 rule.

It suggests, that in communication, the impact of any message is divided into pieces.

7% from the words spoken (or, in your inclination, written).

38% from the tone of your voice.

55% from your body language.

Now, I realize you might not have my 9 semesters of higher math I needed to endure at THE Iowa State University to get my rarely-used Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering, so let me help you with the calculation.

That’s 93% of your communication power not at your disposal in an email.

When it comes to negotiating your salary, tone, timing, and tactics matter.

Plus, the real-time going round-and-round and back-and-forth is somewhat necessary.

You basically lose all these necessities when you're using a keyboard!

So, what should you do instead?

Start by listening to my nifty podcast on Never Negotiate Salary Over Email | Do This Instead.

Then do what I teach in the podcast.

All that’ll be left after that is for you to think of me with every automatic deposit of your big paycheck!

If you'd like to build a great career and lead a rewarding life, check out some of these other places where I share my teachings:

1. Check out the milewalk Academy, my coaching and training site, for freemiums and premiums.

2. I have hundreds of educational and inspirational videos on my YouTube Channel.

3. Grab any of my three books related to interviewing, hiring, and goal setting. All can be found on my Amazon Author Page.

4. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter (X), TikTok, Threads, and Facebook.

5. Stay in touch with me in your email inbox by joining my newsletter here!

--Andy

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
When you get an offer or or when you get down to the end Wait let's back up When you get down to
the end I Okay lit I'm going to speak in absolute absolute terms here because I mean this in an
absolute absolute sense Never not ever do you put any any any negotiation words in an email

(00:30):
Never not ever do you ever leave a voicemail with negotiation words The only exchanging in the email
that should ever be done is "Can we talk on the Zoom Can we pick up the phone What time should
I meet you?" or anything like that You do not ask questions via email If the recruiter says "Luther

(00:53):
send me your questions." You say "I'd really like to talk talk it through That way I can
explain why I want to understand what I want to understand." What do I always say about writing
questions Number one you don't want to give anybody a to-do and how Couple things Albert
Morabian's personal code of communication 7% of your communication is the words you use

(01:16):
38% is your tone 55% body language So now you have 7% that you're that you have at your disposal And
the way I read your email is not how it sounds in your head How I woke up that day Is it sunshining
Am I standing out in the freezing snow Did my dog pee on my leg What time of day am I reading

(01:38):
it What kind of mood am I in And even if you printed that out and read it in your meanest
voice it still could sound worse in my head Okay that's number two Number three you never get to
explain your rationale behind why you're asking a question If you ask me a question I'm going to
make an assumption about why you want to know what you know and that's going to be based on

(02:01):
what I would want to know if I asked that question You want to always be able to have the dial What
else can't you do You can't iterate You can't go round and round Meaning is there a way that you
can create a path for me to earn an additional $30,000 But I'm open to how you do that And now
if he says "Oh well what 10 10 and 10." Okay How do you like what are you doing Going back on the

(02:26):
email trying to do this What if there's infinitely many possibilities that would satiate you So you
you never want to put anything in writing Never put any questions in writing along the way If
you interview with people and they say "Ah send me your questions." Never send them in writing
ever You ask for more time That that sending anybody in the interview process questions of

(02:49):
any kind other than what time is the thing and where do I meet you is the one of the biggest
top three or four biggest sins you can commit It really is That's a Luther That's a great question
Luther I received Oh I received all my job offers from recruiters and I'm not sure if they discussed

(03:11):
my counter offer with the hiring manager How do you suggest I got the decision maker to negotiate
the offer Love it Luther you know what I already gave you a gift but I if I didn't give you a gift
for that last one I'm going to give you a gift for this one This is so awesome Okay so number
one ideal you want to be having this discussion with the hiring official Okay you want to ask

(03:34):
the hiring official the questions Really I mean you want to make sure you're going over your grid
with the hiring official Okay Now some people that I coach they say "Andy um I got to I got
a discussion with the recruiter The recruiter sent me the offer Can you and I get together and I got
to meet back with the recruiter?" And I always say to them you want to try to avoid that You don't

(03:58):
want to avoid the recruiter You want to avoid talking to the recruiter alone or the HR person
alone Now hold on I understand that some companies won't let you So hang on I'm going to I'm going to
work you through the scenarios Option number one is don't say don't say "Can I just talk to the
hiring official?" Because you want the recruiter on your side You want the recruiter to be a

(04:19):
champion for you So what do we do What's the one thing we always want to do whenever we would like
somebody to help us or do what we'd like them to do And in this case you're not being manipulative
or mean You just want to make sure that you're putting yourself in the best position to actually
negotiate So you say to the recruiter "Hey look I really really like this opportunity and I want to

(04:42):
join." And I'm sure you like I you like I want to get this wrapped up as soon as possible as
fast as possible so we can get going right So we can get going I have some questions some for you
some for the hiring official I think and I I think and especially because they're related to the rule

(05:03):
Okay Is there a way where the three of us could meet on Zoom That way we can get this all done in
one one call Call to action right Are you kidding me What does the recruiter want I want this
checked off my list I want you here We already got the offer I want you to take it I want you to

(05:26):
get in in here going right I don't want to be like delaying this stuff Okay So you want to appeal to
that person's sense All right And that that will work in 90% of the cases Okay And it also depends
on who your hiring official is and all that other stuff But that's a really good one Next option
uh hiring officials out of the country hiring officials on vacation hiring officials on on

(05:50):
her honeymoon his honeymoon whatever They just they just want Luther in the door man We gave
him a good offer You say "Okay look Um I got these questions Let me ask you And then what you need to
do is you need to explain to the recruiter Okay Boom boom boom Some grid items which I know you
might not have but you you might if you get in a boot camp for the extraund off Uh you go

(06:14):
through your stuff and you say "Okay look." You give them the counter You say "Look this I want
to take this job I really like you I love you I love the hiring official I just love everybody
I love the color of the paint on the walls." Whatever You goooo gaga all over it then Okay
So here's some of my questions They're not demands right They're questions And you're asking and then

(06:36):
say "Okay if if I'm able to do this is there a way that you and the hiring official can figure
out a way to for me to earn this?" Then you say to the recruiter so I've given you my rationale
Um can you I want you to know I'm flexible on how you do that Then the recruiter is going to
do one of a couple things The recruiter's going to say "Okay let me check A good recruiter would

(07:01):
say "Okay let me check Do you have a preference?" Okay Do you have a preference Luther with how we
get you the extra 30K And you're going to say "I'm really open." if pressed or if you know
if you really if you need some guidance on how to do that I'd prefer you know 15 in the base

(07:26):
because that would also help the bonus and a sign on would be good because I'm going to have to buy
some new suits because I want to look fresh right Something like that Like you do your best and then
what happens is they they do it or not I mean that you know maybe they I coached a woman who was a
stay-at-home mom 50 years old had been out of work for a while and had one son and got in the boot

(07:55):
camp And she went to Apple and she got in the boot camp She's like "Andy this is great I boss hunted
I got a interview I got through this I prepped her for one of her interviews She says "Okay they want
to give me an offer." Um they socialized the offer and it's it's like it's like a h 100,000 more than

(08:17):
I make right now like most recently but it's got all this stuff in it I don't really understand
all that He's got a base it's got bonuses it's got stock it's got this it's got that So I look at the
offer I I have to get a recap of what's happening because I have to I have to gauge the temperature
and the appetite I think and then what she's going to do what the position is where the value is

(08:40):
Apple's got enough money You got to make an argument or whatever And but I have to take
their temperature because I have to understand what the likelihood is that they would give more
So I said to her "All right you know you got this 200 base and this 50k bonus and this 100 stock or
whatever it was like I don't know 350 or something like that." And I said "Okay I think they could go

(09:02):
a hundred more." A hundred more So you want you want 450 And now like she I like I I I like we're
on this Zoom right And I could see the look in her face like you gota you got to be kidding me I'm
like maybe 150 I She's like Andy I can't lose this job You're not going to lose this job So because

(09:23):
that the way we're going to ask this is okay So we get the grid in order We go back to the table
She says "Uh uh okay I was so nervous that I only asked for 50 more That's fine That's fine I want
you to have what to do Whatever you feel com then she said then they came back an hour later with

(09:43):
75 more because they wanted me to be happy and that's what good companies do And so and a lot
of a lot of organizations will actually do that if you can make a a lucid argument And so like I
said going back to some of my earlier commentary is you never never assume what they can pay Now
I understand her reluctance because a single mom who'd been out of work a year or whatever it was

(10:05):
with a 10-year-old or 11year-old or whatever he was I mean it was like there's a lot there's a
lot to that but there's a lot of money out there Actually I want you to write I want you to write
this down I'm not kidding you I know you're going to think Coach Andy's nuts I whatever you
got whatever wherever your notes are I want you to write down I'm a money magnet I'm a money magnet I

(10:33):
You know what I think I'm a money magnet I I want you to think you're a money magnet And believe me
the more you start thinking it and the more you start saying it and don't get me wrong you can't
just wish it like you know the money's going to fall off the tree but I need you to start thinking
there's plenty of money out there cuz there is And the more you think it the greater the likelihood

(10:55):
it will happen But if you're thinking "I don't have enough I don't have enough I don't have
enough." Your mind doesn't know how to process the word no It's just going to keep giving you
what you're feeding it So I feed myself nothing but kind gentle thoughts and motivating thoughts
and that's what it gives you know that's what the universe gives me back I'm not kidding This is

(11:18):
This is There's plenty of money out there There's plenty of people out there who can give you