June 17, 2025 • 12 mins
Feeling stuck even after making progress? Healing isn’t linear. In this episode, I share why emotional setbacks are part of real growth, how to stop daily self-abandonment, and how to stay true to the real you—one small choice at a time.
We explore the subtle ways we abandon ourselves every day—and how small, consistent choices help you stay true to your real self. You’ll learn:
- Why healing feels messy—even when you're doing everything “right”
- What daily self-abandonment looks like and how to stop it
- Why your nervous system may react after an emotional breakthrough
- How to stay accountable to the real you with small, aligned actions
- A guided check-in to help you realign with your truth
- 💡 Plus: Discover a new tool—the Unbox Journal.css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}Mark as PlayedTranscript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S25E26 Healing Isn’t Linear (00:00):
Normalising Setbacks and Staying True to the Real You
(00:04):
Hello and welcome to Unbox The Podcast. I’m your host, Sahar Huneidi Palmer—intuitive life mentor and bestselling author.
This is Season 2025, and you’re listening to Episode 26. Today we’re exploring something that comes up for nearly everyone doing the inner work (00:08):
Why does healing sometimes feel like you’re going backwards?
Folks—we’re halfway through the year! Oh boy.
How are you doing so far?
Have you made progress? Or has it felt like a detour?
To help you stay aligned, I’m creating something new—the Unbox Journal.
It’s designed to help you identify your goals across the Four Dimensions of Change—Body, Emotions, Mind and Accountability—and track your progress as you go.
(00:32):
I’ve put together a short preview PDF. It’s not the full journal yet, but it’s a good place to start. If you’d like to try it out, join my newsletter at saharhuneidi.com, and send me an email with the subject line “Journal!”
I’ll send it to you directly.
Let’s keep moving forward—together.
So, You’ve done the work. You’ve had the insight. You even made big changes. And then—out of nowhere—you fall into old habits, old patterns, or even old feelings. And you start questioning everything.
“Did I actually grow? Was that all just temporary? Have I failed?”
Let me stop you right there (00:52):
Healing is not a straight line. Growth is not a checklist. This is your healing journey, and it’s working—even when it feels messy.
Let’s dive into why healing feels messy—and how to stop abandoning the real you in daily life.
Healing Comes in Waves
If you’ve ever had a physical injury, you’ll notice how the pain flares up some days and completely disappears on others. Emotional healing is the same.
You might have weeks of clarity, joy, connection—and then wake up one day feeling low, anxious, reactive, or numb.
And here’s the truth most people won’t tell you (01:12):
That’s not a setback. That’s integration.
Your system (01:16):
body, emotions, mind; is processing deeper layers. Think of it like composting. What’s coming up now is old material being brought to the surface so it can break down and be reabsorbed or released.
You’re not starting over. You’re going deeper to clear the root cause.
Let’s Talk BEMA™
In my BEMA™ Methodology, healing touches the four dimensions of change (01:28):
Body, Emotions, Mind and Accountability. Today, let’s focus on Body and Emotions.
Your body stores everything. Tension, trauma, unspoken truths. And sometimes, as you shift emotionally, your body lags behind; or reveals stored patterns you thought you’d cleared.
Example? A client once came to me thrilled after making peace with her past. But two weeks later, she was constantly fatigued. Her sleep was off. She worried she was “regressing.” She had arguments with almost everyone who was close to her. Projects fell off…
What was happening? Her nervous system was recalibrating. Her body was finally safe enough to rest.
Healing isn’t always high energy. Often, it’s a slowing down.
How We Self-Abandon in Daily Choices
Now let’s talk about something that often goes unnoticed (01:52):
self-abandonment. Not the big kind, like staying in toxic relationships; but the subtle, everyday kind.
Saying yes when you mean no.
Smiling when you’re uncomfortable.
Skipping rest because someone else "needs" you.
Every time you override what you really feel or want, you chip away at The Real You.
One client, let’s call her Layla, had done years of inner work. But she still found herself overcommitting, then burning out. When we unpacked it, she realised she was still running an old story (02:12):
“If I’m not helpful, I won’t be loved.”
She didn’t need another breakthrough. She needed to notice that story in the moment and choose differently.
That’s how healing becomes embodied.
Let’s Pause and do a Quick Self Check-In
Take a moment together. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. And ask yourself (02:28):
Where am I overriding my true feelings right now? What’s one small decision I’ve made today that didn’t come from alignment, from my real desire?
Just notice. No judgement.
This is the work.
CTA – Midway
If this resonates with you and you’re realising you’ve outgrown parts of your old self, but aren’t sure how to stay consistent; book an Unbox Discovery Session with me. It’s a private 45-minute mentoring call where we look at where you’re self-abandoning and help you come back to centre.
Find it at saharhuneidi.com or in the show notes.
I’d like to emphasise (02:52):
You’re Not Failing—You’re Rewiring
Let’s be clear.
The fact that you can see your old pattern, even while repeating it; that’s awareness.
And that awareness means you’re already changing.
Neural rewiring doesn’t happen all at once. You might need to choose a new response 50 times before it becomes your default.
Don’t mistake discomfort for failure. It’s just unfamiliarity.
(03:16):
A client who struggled with people-pleasing once told me, “I started saying ‘let me get back to you’ instead of yes.”
That one line changed her life.
Why? Because it interrupted the automatic neural loop. It gave her space to check in.
You don’t need big declarations. You need small, consistent choices that honour the real you.
How can you be Accountable to The Real You?
Let’s bring it home to the fourth BEMA™ pillar—Accountability.
(03:40):
This isn’t about pressure. It’s about presence.
How do you stay true to who you are becoming? By building micro-habits of self-loyalty.
Maybe it’s journaling for 5 minutes.
Maybe it’s keeping one promise to yourself.
Maybe it’s cancelling plans when you need rest, even if it feels uncomfortable.
That’s the path. That’s the practice.
(04:04):
Closing
You are healing in real time, and it’s okay to feel tender.
You’re remembering who you are.
And yes, that can feel shaky, even disorienting.
But you are not lost.
You’re on the spiral path, circling closer and closer to your centre.
(04:28):
Don’t abandon yourself. Not in the small things. Not today.
Rewrite your story. Reclaim your power. And remember; healing isn’t linear.
If this episode supported you, here’s how you can support it:
Share it with someone who’s feeling stuck.
Hit Subscribe; so you never miss an episode.
Leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
(04:52):
It helps me reach more people like you. I’m an indie podcaster, niche, and I need your support.
Until next time—stay open, stay grounded, and keep unboxing.
🔗 Social Media (05:00):
https://linktr.ee/UnboxWithSahar 📰 Newsletter signup
Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for more inspiring content each week.
Normalising Setbacks and Staying True to the Real You
(00:04):
Hello and welcome to Unbox The Podcast. I’m your host, Sahar Huneidi Palmer—intuitive life mentor and bestselling author.
This is Season 2025, and you’re listening to Episode 26. Today we’re exploring something that comes up for nearly everyone doing the inner work (00:08):
Why does healing sometimes feel like you’re going backwards?
Folks—we’re halfway through the year! Oh boy.
How are you doing so far?
Have you made progress? Or has it felt like a detour?
To help you stay aligned, I’m creating something new—the Unbox Journal.
It’s designed to help you identify your goals across the Four Dimensions of Change—Body, Emotions, Mind and Accountability—and track your progress as you go.
(00:32):
I’ve put together a short preview PDF. It’s not the full journal yet, but it’s a good place to start. If you’d like to try it out, join my newsletter at saharhuneidi.com, and send me an email with the subject line “Journal!”
I’ll send it to you directly.
Let’s keep moving forward—together.
So, You’ve done the work. You’ve had the insight. You even made big changes. And then—out of nowhere—you fall into old habits, old patterns, or even old feelings. And you start questioning everything.
“Did I actually grow? Was that all just temporary? Have I failed?”
Let me stop you right there (00:52):
Healing is not a straight line. Growth is not a checklist. This is your healing journey, and it’s working—even when it feels messy.
Let’s dive into why healing feels messy—and how to stop abandoning the real you in daily life.
Healing Comes in Waves
If you’ve ever had a physical injury, you’ll notice how the pain flares up some days and completely disappears on others. Emotional healing is the same.
You might have weeks of clarity, joy, connection—and then wake up one day feeling low, anxious, reactive, or numb.
And here’s the truth most people won’t tell you (01:12):
That’s not a setback. That’s integration.
Your system (01:16):
body, emotions, mind; is processing deeper layers. Think of it like composting. What’s coming up now is old material being brought to the surface so it can break down and be reabsorbed or released.
You’re not starting over. You’re going deeper to clear the root cause.
Let’s Talk BEMA™
In my BEMA™ Methodology, healing touches the four dimensions of change (01:28):
Body, Emotions, Mind and Accountability. Today, let’s focus on Body and Emotions.
Your body stores everything. Tension, trauma, unspoken truths. And sometimes, as you shift emotionally, your body lags behind; or reveals stored patterns you thought you’d cleared.
Example? A client once came to me thrilled after making peace with her past. But two weeks later, she was constantly fatigued. Her sleep was off. She worried she was “regressing.” She had arguments with almost everyone who was close to her. Projects fell off…
What was happening? Her nervous system was recalibrating. Her body was finally safe enough to rest.
Healing isn’t always high energy. Often, it’s a slowing down.
How We Self-Abandon in Daily Choices
Now let’s talk about something that often goes unnoticed (01:52):
self-abandonment. Not the big kind, like staying in toxic relationships; but the subtle, everyday kind.
Saying yes when you mean no.
Smiling when you’re uncomfortable.
Skipping rest because someone else "needs" you.
Every time you override what you really feel or want, you chip away at The Real You.
One client, let’s call her Layla, had done years of inner work. But she still found herself overcommitting, then burning out. When we unpacked it, she realised she was still running an old story (02:12):
“If I’m not helpful, I won’t be loved.”
She didn’t need another breakthrough. She needed to notice that story in the moment and choose differently.
That’s how healing becomes embodied.
Let’s Pause and do a Quick Self Check-In
Take a moment together. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. And ask yourself (02:28):
Where am I overriding my true feelings right now? What’s one small decision I’ve made today that didn’t come from alignment, from my real desire?
Just notice. No judgement.
This is the work.
CTA – Midway
If this resonates with you and you’re realising you’ve outgrown parts of your old self, but aren’t sure how to stay consistent; book an Unbox Discovery Session with me. It’s a private 45-minute mentoring call where we look at where you’re self-abandoning and help you come back to centre.
Find it at saharhuneidi.com or in the show notes.
I’d like to emphasise (02:52):
You’re Not Failing—You’re Rewiring
Let’s be clear.
The fact that you can see your old pattern, even while repeating it; that’s awareness.
And that awareness means you’re already changing.
Neural rewiring doesn’t happen all at once. You might need to choose a new response 50 times before it becomes your default.
Don’t mistake discomfort for failure. It’s just unfamiliarity.
(03:16):
A client who struggled with people-pleasing once told me, “I started saying ‘let me get back to you’ instead of yes.”
That one line changed her life.
Why? Because it interrupted the automatic neural loop. It gave her space to check in.
You don’t need big declarations. You need small, consistent choices that honour the real you.
How can you be Accountable to The Real You?
Let’s bring it home to the fourth BEMA™ pillar—Accountability.
(03:40):
This isn’t about pressure. It’s about presence.
How do you stay true to who you are becoming? By building micro-habits of self-loyalty.
Maybe it’s journaling for 5 minutes.
Maybe it’s keeping one promise to yourself.
Maybe it’s cancelling plans when you need rest, even if it feels uncomfortable.
That’s the path. That’s the practice.
(04:04):
Closing
You are healing in real time, and it’s okay to feel tender.
You’re remembering who you are.
And yes, that can feel shaky, even disorienting.
But you are not lost.
You’re on the spiral path, circling closer and closer to your centre.
(04:28):
Don’t abandon yourself. Not in the small things. Not today.
Rewrite your story. Reclaim your power. And remember; healing isn’t linear.
If this episode supported you, here’s how you can support it:
Share it with someone who’s feeling stuck.
Hit Subscribe; so you never miss an episode.
Leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify.
(04:52):
It helps me reach more people like you. I’m an indie podcaster, niche, and I need your support.
Until next time—stay open, stay grounded, and keep unboxing.
🔗 Social Media (05:00):
https://linktr.ee/UnboxWithSahar 📰 Newsletter signup
Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for more inspiring content each week.
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