Episode Transcript
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(00:08):
So do you ever have this feelingof like, I just need to know
what to focus on and where to focus?
There's so many things. I could be doing this, I could
be doing that. I want to do this, I have to do
that. How do I make time for it all?
What do I focus on? If you're like me, you may have
developed some level of time freedom in your life at this
(00:30):
point. And it's something that most
people aspire to in their work, to have freedom and their time
and their location and their choices of what they do in the
day. And that's wonderful to strive
towards. And then once you have it,
that's when the real work begins.
It's actually a lot harder to gofrom there than to get there.
In my experience, at least I, I know I spent many years just
(00:51):
working jobs. I didn't really want to try to
eventually get to this place where I have time freedom.
But then when you have that timefreedom, it's like, what do you
do with it? So that's what I'm talking about
today of living into your Dharmaand how to approach this idea of
goal setting, which can be kind of controlling or manipulative,
or just all about getting, getting, getting.
(01:14):
And approach it from a yogic perspective where it's not just
about getting more or just like achieving something or checking
off a box or getting a certain amount of income or whatever.
But it's about finding fulfillment.
And like you're really living into your purpose and you're
feeling like well, used by the universe and like you're getting
to share your gifts. So that's something I've worked
(01:34):
a lot with over the years and I want to share today.
I'm going to share six major points about this.
And if you want to go deeper with me, go to
mindfulnewyear.com, where I guide you through an annual
planning process and review of the past year.
So the first thing I want to share is the number one goal for
all of us in my estimation, in my opinion, is to live into your
(01:55):
Dharma. And that's sometimes called like
self actualization, like in Maslow's work, In the Maslow's
hierarchy of needs, self actualization is at the top of
the pyramid. So after you've taken care of
your survival needs, your socialneeds, your basic needs,
eventually you can move towards the Dharma purpose needs.
And I have a lot of compassion for anyone who's in the place of
(02:18):
life where you're just in survival mode.
And I spent a lot of time there and it's very difficult to get
out of that. And I understand and have a lot
of compassion for that. And you might come in and out of
it. I've actually gone in and out of
it a few times in my life and I'm still very much aware and
connected to that survival part because I grew up in that and
poverty, no father, all sorts ofdifficulties and depression and
(02:40):
limited resources and all this. But I just found a job.
It's whatever job I could do andeventually tried to find a
better job and a better job and then find something I really
loved. When I found yoga around age 19,
found some Alan Watts lectures and started going to some yoga
classes and was able to get overmy depression through yoga and
(03:00):
meditative practices. That's what led me into my path
of like, this doesn't fit my image of who I thought I was
going to be, some brooding, Moody musician inspired by bands
like Korn and 9 Inch Nails and Radiohead and this kind of
darker music. It's what I was really into.
But then here I am now going to these brightly lit yoga studios
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with everybody in spandex and I'm usually the only guy in the
class and feeling a little awkward and weird.
But I know this feels amazing tome.
So you may have had some experience yourself of like
getting to yoga room was maybe alittle bit outside of your
comfort zone or outside of the ordinary for you.
And you stayed on that path and it seemed like the right thing
for you. And you're probably here because
(03:46):
you've been on that path for a while and you found these yoga
things to be really helpful. So once you start to get on that
path and you start to take care of these basic survival needs,
which I think should be the number one goal until you have
that taken care of like finances, food, shelter, all
this like being in a level of comfort and safety in your home,
(04:06):
definitely that should be the number one goal 1st.
And then the social needs and like having some level of social
support and social ties, community, very important.
And then eventually up to this number one goal, I think for all
of us as humans and in Maslow's research, I think is a useful
tool. It's not the only way of
thinking about it, but I think it's helpful.
(04:27):
It's focusing on living into your actualization in your
Dharma. And in the Vedic tradition, this
is one of the four aims of life,Dharma, arta, Kama, and moksha,
which I kind of simplify that ashealth, wealth, relationships,
and purpose. So Dharma is the purpose.
So how do you know when you're living into your Dharma?
Well, that's pretty obvious. It feels good.
(04:48):
Time just flies. You're in flow and people are
thanking you and people are wanting to give their gratitude
for what you're doing for them. So I think part of Dharma for
everybody has some sort of social benefit.
If it doesn't have any sort of socially redeeming benefit, and
it's probably not really your Dharma, and it may be some way
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that you're avoiding or disconnecting or distracting.
And I think of distracting distracting as like being off
traction. And part of Dharma is actually
very much like being on traction.
And the actual word Dharma comesfrom the Sanskrit word root DHR,
which means to hold, sustain, orsupport.
(05:32):
So when we're in our Dharma, it is supporting us, we are
supporting it, it is sustaining us, we are sustaining it and we
are staying on traction, on our track and not getting
distracted. So that feels good when we're in
our Dharma and living into it and on our purpose.
And I say living into it becauseit's a moving, evolving, ever
(05:54):
evolving thing. Because your Dharma five years
ago may have involved a certain level of purpose and work and
family commitments, and your Dharma today may involve very
different things. So it's continually evolving and
we need to stay in touch with it.
And that's where I usually do some sort of annual review
process to reconnect with it. And what's aligned now?
(06:16):
Where do I feel called now? For a long time it was yoga,
meditation, and then it started to become more and more
astrology. And it seemed like that's maybe
off of my track and that's a distraction.
But every time I would get into studying astrology in my free
time, it's felt so good and alive and inspiring and people
asked me to share with them. So I was like, OK, there's
(06:37):
something here. I'm going to keep going in this
direction. And it's that's sort of the
feedback we always get. We always have the immediate bio
feedback of are we in our Dharma, living into it, or are
we living away from our Dharma, going into distraction.
So we're holding it, sustaining and supporting our Dharma, and
(06:58):
it is holding, sustaining, and supporting us.
So one way as yoga teachers, it often shows up is showing up to
your practices or your commitments.
And in a way, those practices and commitments also support
you. There's a many times in my life
when I'm going through like a really difficult patch in some
other area, like my health or relationships or finances.
(07:20):
And especially in those first few years of teaching yoga, I
would go to teach my 3:00 PM class and I've got to just put
down all my stuff. Like I got to forget about it
for an hour and just show up to serve.
And by sustaining my Dharma, sustaining my path, it was also
helping sustain me and helping me get out of that frequency.
I was stuck in about fear of failure or worry about something
(07:44):
outside of my practice or outside of my teaching.
Because when I my experience, when I show up to teach, it's
I'm just there to be a vessel. It's not about my personality or
what's going on in my life. I'm not there to use the
students as my therapy session. I'm there to serve and share the
yoga. That is what shared with me with
my teachers and down the lineage.
(08:04):
And my teachers were the same way.
They would talk about this, you know, when I started to work
with them in a mentorship capacity that they often would
have terrible news, their kids super sick.
There's some sort of major issuehappening in home and but they
still got to show up to teach that for that hour.
So they got to put down everything and just show up.
(08:25):
So they sustain their Dharma. Their Dharma sustains them.
And it's the same thing I experienced as well years later
as I went on to teach myself. And I still continue to
experience now in different waysin my life as I've got my
calendar of meetings, appointments, recordings, things
like this. And whatever is going on in my
life, if it's something that is bringing me into a negative
(08:46):
frequency or stuck or whatever, I've got to put that down and
show up to the thing that I've chosen to focus on in my path.
So the Dharma helps sustain us as much as we sustain it.
And the Dharma is doing what youlove.
I think the definition of success is doing what you love.
(09:07):
So this is the second point I want to share today.
Again, the first one was the number one goal for all of us is
self actualization or living into your Dharma where you find
the sense of flow. Time is flying.
You're in service to others. You're really in service to your
human experience as well yourself because you've
dedicated yourself to this purpose, this bigger mission
(09:28):
that makes all of the minor little things that happened in
life less significant and less of a deterrent to your happiness
and fulfillment. So you're following this goal of
Dharma, which may start with survival needs and then social
needs and up to these purpose needs of how you're sharing your
gifts and service to the world. And then when you're doing that
(09:50):
success second point I want to make today could look like
bigger numbers in your bank account.
And that's what most people willkind of sell you on and market
you on. You know, if you want to be
successful, you need to make this much money every month or
you need to have this kind of car or this kind of computer or
this kind of status symbol or where this brand of yoga pants
(10:12):
or this brand of yoga mat and that shows that you are success.
Or you have this quality of videos that you put out into
YouTube or as many followers on Instagram.
All these external metrics of success can be very seductive
and very much distracting and not sustaining or supporting us.
(10:34):
Those things are wonderful and you can have them, but if you
think that having them will in some ways define you or make you
like that is the way that you fulfill your purpose, that's
just not true. So success could mean that you
just want to have a following oflike 10 very dedicated students
(10:55):
that you teach every Thursday atnoon and you're happy to do
that. And then you do other stuff in
your free time, whatever. That could be a massive success.
And you never make a bunch of money.
You don't have a bunch of followers, you don't do anything
on YouTube or whatever. And if you feel happy doing that
and it feels fulfilling and you feel like you're in service and
you're living in alignment of your gifts, then that's a
(11:16):
success. Success could also be that you
have 10,000 followers on Instagram making $10,000 a month
or whatever. You can have all those external
things too, but what we really think of when we get those
things is we think that getting those things will make us happy.
If I just had this much money then I could relax and if I just
(11:39):
had this many followers then I could feel like I've made it as
a teacher. That's just not true.
That's backwards. I'm a big fan of Abraham Hicks
work. You may have read some of that,
The Law of attraction. Essentially, it's just talks
about a lot of this idea of the way we think of attaining goals
and achievement is backwards. It's not that when I get 10,000
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followers on Instagram, then I will post regularly and I'll
feel like I'm seen and successful and an authentic real
teacher. It's getting that I think would
make me feel a little more confident, a little more like in
service to the world. So is there some way that I
(12:21):
could cultivate a little more confidence now, a little more
service to the world now? Even if it's just one person
that follows me, even if nobody follows it, It's just like from
my own expression, does it feel good to share about this stuff?
And I always start from that place and all the work I've
done. I can't tell you how many
classes I started early on whereI'd OK Sunday at noon is my new
(12:45):
yoga class on the schedule and nobody comes.
Or when I first started my podcast, I pour my heart and
soul into making a podcast and then it's like 5 people listen
to it. Like that's what happens when
you start a podcast, when you start a new class, when you
start a new business, when you start putting yourself out
there, when you start sharing your gifts.
Not many people are going to really care at first or really
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see it or really know about it. That's where everyone starts.
Everyone starts with zero. I mean, some people have more
privilege and and start with other resources.
So that's true. That is true.
But when you open a new account,you do start with 0 followers
and then yes, some people have more leverage in some ways or
other support, but it's still what you do with it and what do
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you make it mean that really matters?
So if your idea of success and you feel happy to just teach two
or three times a week or five times a week or whatever, or if
you want to build up to having an online business where you
just do your own thing, you haveyour own path and you're your
own boss and you don't answer toanybody.
You make your own hours of work wherever you want.
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If that's your idea of success, that's a bigger goal.
It's a little bit more difficultto attain.
It might take a little more resources and time, but you can
work backwards from, OK, once I have that, how would it feel?
This is a process. We go in very deep in the
Mindful New Year program at mindfulnewyear.com.
So if you want more support withthis and a guided process, go
(14:11):
there. But for right now, you can do it
very simply and just think of something that you want.
Maybe you want to have an onlinebusiness.
Maybe you want to make a certainamount of money every month in
your business if you want to be teaching a certain amount of
classes. And then think about how that
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thing would make you feel at least what you suspect.
Usually the reason we want something as we think that we're
going to feel better by having it.
So if I was making X amount of dollars a month or had X amount
of classes on a schedule or had my own business, I would feel
blank, expressed, happy, fulfilled in service.
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Whatever comes up is is totally fine.
So there's no right or wrong answer here.
And then the next question is just how can you be that now?
So by being that way now, it makes the outcomes inevitable.
Not guaranteed, not immediate, but it is inevitable.
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If you live in such a way where you have your own business and
you do things a business owner would do, you're eventually
going to just find yourself having a business.
Like things a business owner would do is make a website, send
emails, have a Instagram page, make offers, take business
trainings, these kind of things.And I teach that kind of stuff
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in the Thrive training, which will be coming in a few months
as well. So if you want to go more than
that, I teach about that as well.
But those are the kind of thingsthat business owner would do.
And if you just keep doing thosethings, eventually they're going
to have a business and you're going to have ups and downs.
It's not going to be immediate. There's no guarantees, but if
you feel fulfillment and going in that path, you're on the
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right path. And if you start going down that
path and it doesn't feel fulfilling, doesn't feel
inspiring, energizing, exciting,might not be the right path.
Now, there's something else to say with this is if you're a
little further along, you've been doing this a few years,
there's a lot of things you needto do to sustain your path and
your Dharma that aren't the mostexciting or, you know, fireworks
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and explosions and so fun and exciting, but they are
necessary. So that's where just this sort
of discipline and practice comesin this.
So to be so valuable, like having a daily yoga practice is
pretty exciting and fun at the at the beginning, but it's
pretty mundane and average afterwards.
It's just like just what you do.And then some days it's kind of
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magical and some days it's enlightening and some days it's
just like another day. And that's like anything.
Once you get further along in your Dharma, you're living into
it. There's going to be highs and
lows. So it's not that it's always
high or that it's always exciting and interesting, but
it's this idea that something about it keeps pulling you
forward. And the way I think about it too
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is as you take one step forward,you, you realize that there's
two more steps you didn't know that are ahead of you.
And every time you take another step forward, you realize
there's two more steps you didn't know about.
That's how I feel teaching yoga and astrology and in business.
So I have a few paths like this and at a certain point with
music, I stopped feeling that way.
(17:35):
It started to feel like music isso formulaic and so much drugs
and alcohol around the music business and so much shady
stuff. I just felt like more and more
out of alignment for me years ago and I just couldn't keep
going in that path. As much as I love making music,
it was very cathartic for me. I needed that process.
I still love music in so many ways, but to go down that path,
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it felt a little bit too predictable to just out of
alignment at a certain point. As the further I got down the
path of yoga, I realized that was the path I wanted to go.
And then astrology and business and all the things I do now.
So that was kind of my path, andI encourage you to reflect on
your path of where are you feeling called towards now?
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Where it's like as you take a step in that direction, you find
there's two more and it's just like, what else can I learn?
Oh, this is interesting. Feels like there's more
challenge here, more growth in this.
And at a certain point you mightlike I did with music, you might
reach a point where it's like, OK, this path might be complete
for now. And maybe you put it down and
come back years later. Maybe you move on to something
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else, but I think the idea of success, the second main point
I'm making is if you're doing what you love because that's
what you set out to do, not because it's what someone else
said you should do, Not because it's just some external metric,
but it's really in your heart and you're called to it.
Number three thing I want to share today is the opposite of
(19:04):
success is failure, and failure is not something like I started
to teach a new yoga class and nobody showed up.
That to me is not failure. That is actually a success
because you went in the path, you tried something, you put
your heart and soul out there and nobody came this time.
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But now you get to choose what to do with that.
And failure, to me, in my estimation from understanding
the yogic text and my understanding of personal growth
and all this stuff, is failure is just not doing what you love.
It's saying, oh, nobody came to my class, therefore I'm never
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going to be a good yoga teacher.I'm just going to get a
corporate job that's comfortableand safe and forget about this
yoga thing because nobody wants to come to my class.
Yeah, that kind of thing can happen.
And that, to me would be failurebecause you felt called to do
something and then you stopped doing it.
(20:11):
Whereas the success could be, you know what?
Actually, I tried teaching, and I realized I just want a
corporate job. And that feels better to me, and
it's way safer, way more reliable.
I don't want all the risk involved with running my own
business, etcetera. I'm just going to get a
corporate job and just have workand then go to back to my normal
life. And if that's really what's
(20:32):
aligned for you, then that is a success, I think.
But the failure would be a concession or just giving up or
throwing in the towel and saying, you know what, maybe I'm
not cut out for this doubting myself.
Imposter syndrome. I've talked about imposter
syndrome a lot on this podcast because I get so many messages
from teachers about this. It's a very common issue in the
yoga world, but go back to thoseepisodes if that's something you
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struggle with. But I will say here that success
is you just you just try, you just put yourself out there.
If you could teach somebody downdog, that is a success.
And if you found down dog helpful to you and you can share
that with someone else and it's just one person and they never
come back still and success because you tried something
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that's in alignment with your path and then you shared it and
it was at least trying at least putting yourself out there, at
least trying to do what you love.
But failure would be not doing what you love.
And you know, when you're doing that, it's pretty obvious.
Like you try to go to this job and you don't love it and it
just feels bad and you don't want to be there and you can't
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wait to get home and you're justwatching the clock and time is
just crawling by. There's still moments I remember
in school, I'm just watching theclock tick, tick, tick.
Just seemed like it was getting slower and slower.
Like I, I just didn't want to bethere sitting at a desk learning
stuff I would never use in my life.
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I wanted to be learning interesting stuff.
I love to learn. I just didn't love what I was
learning in school. So you might love to do some
element of your job. You might just not love the
environment you're in or the jobor the workplace.
So how can you transition that skill and those gifts into
something you do love and care about little by little?
So to me, in my path, it was like if I could teach one Class
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A week, that's success. I'm moving on my path.
I'm making progress. Even if it's for free, I just
want to teach. And if I could start subbing
some classes for free, I'm getting experience, that's a
success. And then if I could start
teaching some page classes, thatwould be nice.
I could pay for some meals, you know, And then if I could maybe
teach a workshop. Now I'm getting to share some
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deeper wisdom and make a little more income and make this more
sustainable. All right.
So it's just kind of baby steps for me on my path.
Some teachers have more of a sort of rocket of success in
like leapfrog into what they want.
For me, it was more baby steps. And I wanted to kind of go slow
and methodical with it. But failure would have been just
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giving up and just saying I don't have time for this.
Like I need to focus on other things.
Like it's going to take too long.
Success is I don't care how longit takes, I'm just going to keep
going on this path because it feels like the right path.
So number four thing I want to share is a question for you.
Now I'm just, are you doing whatyou love?
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Easy question, maybe not an easyanswer.
So it's something to sit with. If the answer doesn't come
immediately to you, then it's worth exploring as you move
through the next week or a couple weeks.
When you go to this job or do you do this activity, you hang
out with this person, you go to this class, whatever you're
doing, are you loving that thing?
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Does it feel nourishing, supportive, life generating?
Is there prana there? Do you feel inspired?
Do you feel like you're living into your Dharma, following your
path? And the number 5 question I want
to ask is what would you love todo that you're not already
doing? So again, you might want to live
(24:12):
with this for a week or so. And just as you go through your
life noticing, you know, is, is there something missing in your
day? Is there a morning routine
missing or evening routine? Are you waking up with physical
pain in your body and wanting todo some sort of practice to
alleviate that or get some sort of body work to alleviate that
pain in the body? Are you wanting to teach more
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classes a week? Are you wanting to teach less
classes a week? Are you wanting to teach online
now? Are you wanting to go to classes
more? There's no right or wrong answer
to this question, but it's greatfor self inquiry.
Just looking at your life. And what I like to do is often
to do some sort of weekly review, monthly review and
annual review to really dig in there and look back, OK, what
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did I do this week, this month, this year?
What did I really love? What really just felt amazing,
What felt inspiring, what was definitely on my path, what was
definitely not on my path? Distraction, uninspiring,
wasting time, these kind of things.
These things happen. Not to judge ourselves.
We don't need to get into judgement, but just awareness of
(25:21):
like, OK, that was a misstep. That was not a line, that didn't
feel great. I don't want to do that anymore.
What can I do instead? So that's the question here is
what would you love to do that you're not already doing?
And then the sixth thing I want to share today is that it's
better to strive and fail in your own Dharma than to succeed
(25:44):
in someone else's Dharma. So if you had parents who
pressured you into being a doctor or working in IT, even
though you have no interest in that and you follow that path,
you are succeeding in someone else's Dharma.
And that I would consider a failure.
And it's a little harsh to say Idon't, I don't like saying it
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that way. But I would say you're not
living into your Dharma when you're doing that because you
just don't feel good. You're not feeling like you're
getting to serve and use your gifts.
People who receive your service are probably going to feel that
as well. If you have a boss, they're
probably going to be on your case a lot of like, hey, could
you do this? Could you do that?
You're not doing this, you're not performing right.
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It just makes everything harder for everybody.
And I think knowing astrology and what I share in Mindful New
Year, we are moving into a future somewhere around 10 years
from now, I think where it'll bepossible, very possible for most
people to just do things they love.
Some sort of universal basic income or something is already
(26:48):
being tested in a lot of places in the world and very likely to
exist very commonly in about 10 years.
And all the information technology and computers out
there. So that if you want to have your
own business talking about baking techniques or knitting
techniques or trading Pokémon cards or whatever, or Beanie
(27:09):
Babies, I don't know. Whatever you're interested in or
teaching yoga, yeah, you might as well stay on topic here.
Teaching a specific niche style of yoga, and that's just what
you want to do. It will be very likely that
that's accessible for most people in the Western world in
about 10 years. O great time now to get a head
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start on that and to move into that direction.
So this is what we do at MindfulNew Year, help you review the
past year, plan the next year, show you all the astrological
transits coming up for 2025. And there are some major
transits, big shifts of energy in 2025, more than it's been in
a few years. So big opportunities for moving
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into a new path, deepening your own path and living further into
your Dharma. So when we talk about goal
setting, I know that New Year's resolutions don't stick.
Most people don't stick to goals.
Most people don't follow throughon them.
So what actually works is what Ishare in Mindful New Year based
on the research and based on this yogic and Vedic perspective
(28:13):
of living into your purpose rather than being extrinsically
motivated by I need this much money, this many followers, this
much status and success. It's finding the intrinsic
motivation of this feels a line for for me, this is the path for
me. And then you move through your
life in a way that is not so tense.
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Usually when people have goals and time crunches and all this,
they create a lot more stress and tension in their lives.
It manifests as physical ailments, diseases, even at an
extreme cancer. It's very common that people who
develop cancer and very high stress situations in their life.
So there's definitely correlation there between stress
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and negative health outcomes, and it's definitely a
correlation between rigid goal setting and stress.
So I don't teach rigid goal setting.
I teach living into your Dharma and your purpose.
And goal setting comes with that.
And what can be a very expansive, fun, interesting self
discovery process, that's what we share at Mindful New Year,
(29:17):
Mindful newyear.com. If you want to check it out and
join me and we'll go through howto review the past year, get
present, get current and plan for the new year and have all
the transits for the year. You give you a calendar follow,
so you can save this to your calendar app and see it every
day that when there's a big transit coming up, you'll see it
in your calendar. Just the major ones, not just
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cluttering your calendar here and you have interpretations for
it. They're right in your calendar
app. So you can know like today's a
new moon, it's a good day for setting intention or today is
this transit, it's a positive day or a negative energy.
Plan accordingly. And then you can know for
yourself based on your rising and moon sign and your Dasha,
what energies to work with. I give personalized horoscopes
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in there as well. So you'll get your free Vedic
birth chart, a free mini training with that at Quiet Mind
astrology.com. And then sign in from Mindful
New Year at mindfulnewyear.com. And I'll guide you through all
the transits and shifts in energy of 2025 with a space to
plan your whole year in a singleday.
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All the major events, all the major things you need to put in
there and then adapt as you go through the year, living into
your Dharma in alignment with your gifts and your purpose,
rather than extrinsically motivated by some New Year's
resolution that we all know is not going to stick.
So we don't focus on New Year's resolutions, we focus on Dharma.
And if you want to go into that with me further, go to
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mindfulnewyear.com. If you enjoyed this podcast,
share it with a friend, leave a review an Apple podcast, and I
look forward to sharing more with you next time on the Yoga
Teacher Training Podcast.