December 10, 2024 • 23 mins
When life throws curveballs, how do you keep your professional life from unraveling? Join me, Josh, as I open up about the delicate art of maintaining a thriving career amidst personal turmoil. Drawing from my own experiences as a life coach, I share the emotional and strategic balancing act required when faced with challenges like my wife's mother's cancer diagnosis and my son's health issues. Learn practical techniques to compartmentalize personal and work-related challenges, ensuring that one doesn’t derail the other. This episode is all about demonstrating resilience and adaptability, so you can show up for your business even during life's most challenging moments.
Struggling to maintain authenticity in your personal brand without oversharing? Let's explore a fresh perspective on staying genuine while projecting positivity. I challenge the common belief that being authentic means airing every personal struggle on social media and instead advocate for being a beacon of hope and inspiration. Additionally, I unveil my Energy and Support Program, crafted to give you the essential energetic boost to tackle both personal and professional hurdles. This program aims to empower you to build a motivational legacy, ensuring you have the strength to navigate life's ups and downs. Tune in to transform your approach to life's challenges and redefine how you balance personal authenticity with professional presence.
Join me on our Leadership Challenge!
Visit joshcoats.com/leadership
If you would like to learn more about working with Josh, and the Performance Coaching Certification, visit JoshCoats.com!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, my name is Josh and I'm your push coach.
I'm a failed rockstar turnedseven figure life coach.
I've trained over 40,000coaches and entrepreneurs since
I got started back in 2014.
I currently run my own lifecoach certification for those
who want to learn the powerfultools of transforming lives
using the psychology of truecoaching.
(00:20):
On this show, we're going toexplore business from a
different perspective.
I combine high energy withpsychology to teach you business
in a totally different way.
If you're tired of being toldto just show up and do the work,
or just believe more or justtrust the compound effect, this
podcast will take you on a deepdive to help you understand what
(00:43):
is actually holding you andyour clients back from doing the
work.
Once you understand thepsychology of performance, we
can build powerful messagingthat will attract the right
people who finally show up anddo the work.
If you're ready to be apowerful leader and build your
legacy, let's dive in.
What's up everybody?
(01:05):
My name is Josh, I am your pushcoach and if you're listening
to this live I don't know iflive is really the right word
for someone listening to apodcast, but if you're listening
to it within 24 hours of itcoming out, we have a big
leadership challenge going downthis week that I'm so freaking
pumped for.
So, as this episode is goinglive, it's December 10th of 2024
(01:29):
.
Leadership challenge startsDecember 11th, so our first call
is on a Wednesday night and I'mjust so freaking pumped for
that.
I love, love, love big events.
It's.
My favorite thing in the worldis to get as many people as
humanly possible, get them allon Zoom, get everybody fired up,
get everybody taking notes.
There's a beautiful collectiveenergy that can happen when you
(01:51):
get the right people in a roomall excited about the same thing
.
So I'm really pumped for that.
But today I want to talk abouthow to deal with hard times
Because, as business people,what's really challenging I
wrote an email about this theother day what's really
challenging is that we have thisbusiness right and for the sake
of your business, regardless ofwhat you sell, if you are a
(02:14):
personal brand, you in a way,are the name and the face of
your brand and in my opinion,that's a really challenging
thing.
Right because, like let'spretend really challenging thing
.
Right Because, like let'spretend for a second I was doing
sales and marketing forCoca-Cola, which I would never
want to do because I do notsupport drinking pop.
I would do it for a beercompany, so let's pretend.
(02:36):
Instead, I'm in charge ofadvertising for Modelo, okay,
and my job is to sell the lifeof this beer.
And my job is to sell the lifeof this beer.
What makes that so simple?
I should say I don't know ifanything is easy, but what makes
that so simple is I could havethe worst day in the world at
(02:57):
home with my family and go intowork to advertise and promote
for Modelo, and I wouldn't feelin any way that my personal life
or my challenges in my personallife had anything to do with
advertising Modelo beer.
Because we would hire models,we would hire people to say that
(03:21):
we would essentially just bewriting scripts and ideas for
other people to have to say butwhen you are the name and you
are the brand, here's what canhappen.
It can feel inauthentic to goonline and smile and say
(03:41):
inspirational things when youfeel like it, and this is the
really, really, really trickything about business that I've
had to walk so many clientsthrough this year and I've had
to go through it myself.
We've had a lot of personalchallenges with my wife's mom
has battled cancer for the lastcouple of years and we are kind
of co-caretakers and so, like,our entire schedule just got
(04:05):
completely flipped upside down.
You know we used to haveregular day dates for coffee.
We haven't had a day date in acouple of years.
You know we used to have a lotof different freedoms that in a
sense, we have given up to bethere for family and take care
of other things going on, andthat's been tough.
I've definitely had someseasons where you know you're
(04:28):
crying the night before and thenyou got to wake up and inspire
people and motivate people, andfor a lot of people that's a
tough thing.
And, by the way, it's alsoreally tough for me too, because
I'm human and I feel really,really, really big on a really
big level.
But I want to talk to you alittle bit today about how to
deal with that, because at theend of the day, especially if
(04:48):
you're someone who has abusiness where finances are
attached to it which I hopefinances are attached to your
business here's what can reallysuck.
You go through personalstruggles that make your life,
just in general, harder and moreemotional and more of just like
a struggle, and then, inaddition to that, your business
(05:12):
suffers and now you have lessmoney, and now you have two
really big problems.
You have the problem ofpersonal life being hard and you
have the problem of money nolonger being the advantage that
it used to be, and itessentially compounds the
hardness in your life.
And so what I've learnedthrough a couple of hard times
in my life is that, even whenpersonal life is hard, you can
(05:32):
choose and I'm going to show youhow in just a second you can
choose to put on a different hatfor the sake of your business,
to make sure you don'taccidentally compound your
personal issues with businessissues, because nothing in the
world is worse than goingthrough a hard time in your
personal life and in yourprofessional life.
That's some hard stuff.
(05:53):
So when possible, you want tominimize the amount of hard
things you have to deal with inlife, and in order to do that,
you might need to show up foryour business during some
seasons where you don't feellike showing up.
And I want to tell you a littlebit of a story to tell you like
how I kind of tap into this.
So my youngest son, paxton,some of you know, went through
(06:16):
three open heart surgeries bythe age of three and he's good
now.
Everything is fine now, so noreason to be sad or upset or
anything like that for me, buthe's good now.
So first one happened we foundout literally the night that he
was born, while he was in thenursery.
So we kind of just lived in thehospital for the first two or
three months of his life to getall that taken care of, came
(06:37):
home, thought everything wasgood.
About six months later foundout he needed another one.
The second one was the one thathit me the hardest.
First one happened in themoment.
There was nothing you could doabout it but just take care of
it.
But the second one was reallyreally, really hard, because it
was like hey, we found this,this is what's going to need to
happen.
We're going to schedule it fortwo months out and then you're
(06:57):
just sitting around for twomonths reliving all of the
trauma in your brain of what youhad to go through the first
time and realizing you got to gothrough it again.
It's one thing to be thrown intotragedy.
You just have to deal with it.
Fight or flight kicks in andyou, just as a parent, you just
deal with it.
That's what it is.
It's a whole nother thing to gothrough that once and then be
(07:21):
told you got to do it again andthen sit around for two months
thinking about all the issuesyou got to go through again.
And I just went through areally dark, I mean a really
dark place and I'll never forget.
My dad called me and said youknow, how are you doing?
You know, your mom is reallyworried about you.
I was like I just, I don't knowthat, I'm just falling apart
(07:42):
over here, like I'm done, I'mdone with God, I'm done with
life, I'm done with everything.
Like, if this is what life is,that my innocent son, who has
never done anything wrong, notold enough to have done anything
wrong, has to go through likethis life of God, of everything.
And my dad, who is a minister,has been a minister his whole
(08:02):
life.
I come from a long line ofpreachers.
He says what is God saying toyou?
I said, dad, God's not sayinganything to me.
I'm not a preacher, okay, goddoesn't talk to me.
And my dad said well, god talksto you differently.
I want you to go get yourguitar out and I want you to
play your guitar and see whatcomes out and I was like that's
the dumbest thing I've everheard in my life.
But I do love my dad, I dorespect my dad and I'm pretty
(08:25):
much desperate, so I'll tryanything.
So went and pulled out my guitarthis was back before I had a
business and music was my lifeand I just put my fingers on a C
chord and just started playingand an entire song just oozed
out of me, like I've basicallywent into a trance, an entire
song.
Weren't my words, I wasn'ttrying to say any of these words
(08:48):
.
I can promise you that it justoozed out and I found myself in
tears realizing that this song,the message of this song, was
that we all go through a hardtime, but during that hard time,
it either breaks you or makesyou into something new.
That was the first lesson.
The second lesson was this Inthe midst of your darkest hour,
(09:14):
you have this beautifulopportunity to be a light to
others who are going throughdarkness, by the way you handle
the darkness in your life.
And so what I realized was itsucks that I have to go through
this, that my kid has to gothrough this, that everyone we
know has to go through this, butif I can go through it with
(09:35):
some dignity and a smile on myface and some light, some hope
shining from me, I might be ableto inspire someone else going
through something just as hardthat doesn't know how to find
their strength other than seeingit in me, and that my friends
became my absolute, most corevalue, my life mission.
(10:01):
It's the reason I got a lightbulb tattooed on my right bicep
as a reminder that, guys, lightis not needed in the light.
Right now I'm in my studio.
I've got an overhead light onand then I've got these two
brightest puff lights shining inmy face to make sure we get the
right lighting for this camera.
So if you're watching over onYouTube, thank you for taking
(10:22):
the time to watch so that theselights and me going blind isn't
in vain.
All of this light.
If someone came in with thebrightest flashlight in the
world right now, I wouldn't evennotice it.
But if we turned out all thelights and we closed the shade
and we made it pitch black inhere, you could come in with one
of the most dim lights in theworld and everyone would notice
(10:47):
it.
And that is the thing, myfriends, is that darkness really
just represents not knowing.
It's the unknown.
Right when you're a kid, you'reafraid of the dark.
Why?
Because you don't know what'shappening.
When the lights turn on,everything's cool.
No one's afraid of a monsterbeing under their bed when the
lights are on.
We're only afraid when thelights are out.
It's the unknown, it's thescary, it's the uncertain.
(11:08):
This is not predictable.
I feel unsafe, but one singlelight if you're lost in the
middle of nowhere and totaldarkness, one single light
whether it's the North Star or alighthouse or whatever, can be
the hope that makes you feellike everything is going to be
okay and everything is going towork out.
(11:28):
So fast forward to 2017, I'dstarted my business, it had
taken off, created multi sixfigures, and I go through a
divorce.
And I'm waking up every singleday getting long ass voice memos
that are not very kind, notvery nice, and I'm dealing with
judgment.
I'm dealing with shame some ofit from within, some of it from
(11:50):
people outside and just feelingsuch a freaking heavy burden to
have to wake up every day, goingthrough such a hard thing and
find a way to be people'smotivational speaker and mentor,
and all of that because that'swhat I get paid to do, and it
was so freaking hard, but everyday I just woke up and and it
was so freaking hard, but everyday I just woke up and I didn't
(12:12):
have the tattoo yet I wish Iwould have Every single day.
I just woke up and asked myselfJosh, I know your life feels
like dark times right now, butdo you want to be a part of the
dark or a part of the light?
In other words, do you want tobe a part of the problem or do
you want to be a part of thesolution?
And what I found over timefeelings are really freaking
(12:33):
strong.
It's one of the things that wereally emphasize a lot in our
life coach certification is howto actually process the feelings
, because it's the feelingsthemselves that take us away
from the logic and cause us tothink irrationally.
So processing those that's whatlife coaching is is it's the
ability to process through theemotions, to look more through
(12:54):
the facts and the logic and whatis actually happening versus
what you're being triggered by.
But what I had to do is, overand over and over and over, even
though my feelings were sofreaking strong, I had to
realize my values are moreimportant than my feelings, and
I might feel like life sucks,everything is shit, everything's
(13:18):
gone to crap.
But I value being a light toother people way more than I
feel, and this is something Ifeel like so many people don't
understand.
So many people are like well, Ifeel like this, so it would be
inauthentic to go on socialmedia and smile and share
(13:38):
something positive, and I wouldsay the opposite.
I would say that that is one ofthe most integrity things you
could do is to say, even thoughI feel like this, because I
value people and want to inspireothers that might also be going
through this I'm going to puton a smile and go say something
(13:58):
that can help them.
To be fake is to pretend thatnothing in the world is wrong
and everything is wonderful andamazing.
To be authentic is to be honestabout the fact that you're
struggling, but you're here tohelp.
That doesn't mean you have toair out your dirty laundry.
By the way, I don't thinkanyone should be going on social
media.
Here's everything that I'mgoing through right now, but
(14:21):
again, there's such a bigdifference between being
authentic and being fake.
I'm not telling you to goonline and pretend to be a
different person.
I'm not telling you to goonline and pretend to be a
different person.
I'm not telling you to goonline and pretend that
everything is rainbows andbutterfly.
In fact, I think that's some ofthe grossest energy in the
world anyways.
I don't even think anybodylikes that.
(14:42):
I always joke that if you smiletoo much and you're too positive
, I don't trust you.
You're hiding something, yougot some dark ish you're dealing
with underneath all of that andyou just needed a whole lot of
positivity to cover it up.
But there's a really bigdifference between what I would
consider toxic positivity andhope and certainty.
(15:05):
Toxic positivity is when Ipretend nothing is wrong and
that everything is fine andgoing to work itself out.
Hope is the thought that thingsmight be puffed up right now,
but there is hope that it canget better if I continue to work
on myself and do things to worktoward that.
And there's a certainty thatcomes with hope, a certainty
(15:28):
that if I do the right things,it's gonna lead to a better
place.
And so what I wanna encourageyou to do for any of you out
there that are personal brandsis to remember that it's okay to
be you, the person, and thenit's also okay to have the
personal brand and those areallowed to be two different
(15:51):
things.
And what I mean by that is justbecause I'm a personal brand
doesn't mean I bring my entireperson with me onto the podcast.
I bring the part of the personthat is here to inspire and help
and motivate, because that'swhat my business stands for, and
on days that I feel like thatI'm not motivated myself.
(16:12):
Guess what?
That's Josh, the person thatreally has nothing to do with a
personal brand.
Again, if I were selling Modelobeer and I was not the name and
the face of it, I wouldn't belike I'm having a day I can't
sell Modelo beer today.
I wouldn't be like oh, I'mgoing through a hard time right
now.
We can't make any beercommercials.
That would make no sense.
(16:33):
It's okay to understand that youare both a person and a
personal brand and there aresome crossovers there, but it's
also okay to have someboundaries there.
I have some things that I gothrough with my family that we
don't talk about on the internet.
I don't go make a post everytime one of my kids froze a fit
and I get frustrated.
I don't make a post everysingle time something happens in
(16:55):
my marriage.
We don't share everything, andif you do, you're a weirdo.
Stop doing that.
We don't share everythingonline.
That's not how it works.
Why?
Because it's a brand and youget to choose what you do and
don't share, and I have certainthings that I choose to share
and other things I choose not to.
And it's the same formotivating and inspiring people.
(17:17):
I am choosing to step into therole of Josh.
The motivator, by the way, is adifferent person than Josh, the
husband.
I don't like go down in thekitchen and give my wife
motivational pep tops.
That'd be so weird.
Imagine me walking around thehouse just repeating business.
Like what a make-up weirdo.
Like nobody wants to be marriedto that guy.
(17:38):
So we wear lots of differenthats and that's actually a very
healthy thing.
So it's totally okay.
I'm going to give youpermission to take off your I'm
going through a show in mypersonal life hat and put on
your I'm a CEO who has some shitI need to handle hat the same
way you would in the house, whensometimes you need to be a
(17:59):
parent and other times you mightneed to cook or clean or sit
down and watch Netflix.
We all wear 50 different hatsin a day, it's okay.
That doesn't make you fake.
That makes you human.
It means you have differentthings going on.
So my biggest challenge to youtoday is to just simply remember
this Live your values over yourfeelings.
(18:21):
Your feelings are temporary andare not a representation of who
you are.
They are just literally arepresentation of what you're
currently, in this moment,feeling about the things you're
currently thinking about.
Like that's it, I could changeall of your feelings right now
good or bad, either way, Iwanted to by just saying certain
(18:43):
things.
And your feelings would change,but your values should not.
Feelings would change, but yourvalues should not, and so a
true leader lives by your values, even when it feels contrary to
your feelings.
So choose today to be the light.
Choose today to shine.
(19:04):
Choose today to stand up and bea lighthouse that others can
look to when they're lost out inthe freaking deep waters and
it's dark out and they havenothing to look forward to.
Be the freaking lighthouse thatothers can look to and say,
okay, there is hope.
Keep shining, all right.
Love you guys so much.
(19:26):
I believe in you so freakingmuch.
This is one of the reasons thatwe're actually I'll be talking
about this in the leadershipchallenge.
We're launching a new programthat's going to be one of the
most powerful things we've everdone.
We're calling it legacyleadership because that is my
like original LLC of my business, and what we're working on
doing is building a live program.
(19:48):
It's going to have livetraining, so every single week
we'll have a Zoom call togetherto dive in on specific topics a
little bit deeper, but then it'salso going to come with a whole
bunch of modules that arebasically going to help you
through whatever you're goingthrough.
Okay, so it's essentially anongoing program where you get
live calls with me once a week,but then you'll also get two to
(20:08):
three mini lessons emailed toyou every single week.
And the idea is this If you're aleader, you're going through
some hard times, sometimes inpersonal life, sometimes in
business life, and sometimes youneed to ride someone else's
coattails until you can findyour own confidence.
Sometimes, especially whenyou're going through harder
times, you need to be connectedto someone else's energy until
(20:32):
you can get back to your own.
And that's kind of the idea ofthe program is we want to take
business things and put theminto a program, but mix that
with a bunch of personal growthstuff, mix that with a bunch of
motivation stuff and essentiallymake it like this is the place
you come to get all of yourbusiness problems solved.
And some of those problems aregoing to be business, some of
(20:52):
them are going to be personal.
We're going to build out somecourses on relationships.
We're going to build out somecourses on work-life balance and
essentially make this aone-stop shop for everything you
need for your business and yourpersonal growth.
I'm really freaking pumped.
I'm going to be like officiallylaunching it on tomorrow
night's call.
So if it's past December 11th,you should be able to just find
(21:15):
it on the website atjoshcoatscom.
It's called Legacy Leadership.
We have a free community calledLegacy Leadership where we're
kind of building a paid ongoingacademy out of that, and I'm not
going to tell you the pricebecause it's a secret.
So I'm going to be talkingabout it in the launch and we
are doing some really specialprices this week only inside.
(21:36):
So I also don't want to say theprice is out loud, because you
might be listening to thispodcast three months later and
you're like what the hell, bro?
How come they're more expensivenow?
Well, because we had a reallyreally, really special founder's
price the first week that welaunched it.
So make sure and check that outat joshcoatscom If you're
(21:57):
listening to this live, makesure and check out the
leadership challengejoshcoatscom slash leadership so
that you can find out about thevery best deals, how to get in
at our founder's prices, getgrandfathered in at that price
and be a part of an amazingmovement.
We're building out an entireaffiliate program for it so that
you can share this program withyour team, with your friends,
and then get an affiliatecommission for sharing.
It's going to be an absolutelytransformational program that
(22:21):
brings together all of Josh'sbusiness principles, along with
all of the personal growthprinciples, mixed together and
then blended with just a big,huge dose of Josh's energy.
And that's one of the things I'mreally wanting to lean into is
realizing sometimes people arejust going through a season of
life where they just need alittle extra energetic support,
(22:46):
and I want you to be able toconnect and plug in to my energy
as often as you need to to getthrough whatever you're going
through, whether it's a personalchallenge, whether it's a
business challenge, whether it'sjust like I don't know what's
going on, but this month is justharder, this quarter is just
harder, or it's like dude, I'mkicking ass and taking names,
(23:11):
but I need someone else's energyto keep fueling me as I'm
climbing this mountain, becausethe reality is, if you're on a
journey, you're going to needsome fuel along the way, and
that's one of my superpowers, soI want to let you regularly
plug in and get all the energyyou need, all the support you
need.
All right Love you guys so much.
Have such an amazing day, havean incredible week, and I will
see all of you soon.
(23:32):
Don't forget everything youneed is already inside, and all
the resources you'll ever needare right under your nose.
We will see you soon, friends.
Hi, my name is Josh and I'm your push coach.
I'm a failed rockstar turnedseven figure life coach.
I've trained over 40,000coaches and entrepreneurs since
I got started back in 2014.
I currently run my own lifecoach certification for those
who want to learn the powerfultools of transforming lives
using the psychology of truecoaching.
(00:20):
On this show, we're going toexplore business from a
different perspective.
I combine high energy withpsychology to teach you business
in a totally different way.
If you're tired of being toldto just show up and do the work,
or just believe more or justtrust the compound effect, this
podcast will take you on a deepdive to help you understand what
(00:43):
is actually holding you andyour clients back from doing the
work.
Once you understand thepsychology of performance, we
can build powerful messagingthat will attract the right
people who finally show up anddo the work.
If you're ready to be apowerful leader and build your
legacy, let's dive in.
What's up everybody?
(01:05):
My name is Josh, I am your pushcoach and if you're listening
to this live I don't know iflive is really the right word
for someone listening to apodcast, but if you're listening
to it within 24 hours of itcoming out, we have a big
leadership challenge going downthis week that I'm so freaking
pumped for.
So, as this episode is goinglive, it's December 10th of 2024
(01:29):
.
Leadership challenge startsDecember 11th, so our first call
is on a Wednesday night and I'mjust so freaking pumped for
that.
I love, love, love big events.
It's.
My favorite thing in the worldis to get as many people as
humanly possible, get them allon Zoom, get everybody fired up,
get everybody taking notes.
There's a beautiful collectiveenergy that can happen when you
(01:51):
get the right people in a roomall excited about the same thing
.
So I'm really pumped for that.
But today I want to talk abouthow to deal with hard times
Because, as business people,what's really challenging I
wrote an email about this theother day what's really
challenging is that we have thisbusiness right and for the sake
of your business, regardless ofwhat you sell, if you are a
(02:14):
personal brand, you in a way,are the name and the face of
your brand and in my opinion,that's a really challenging
thing.
Right because, like let'spretend really challenging thing
.
Right Because, like let'spretend for a second I was doing
sales and marketing forCoca-Cola, which I would never
want to do because I do notsupport drinking pop.
I would do it for a beercompany, so let's pretend.
(02:36):
Instead, I'm in charge ofadvertising for Modelo, okay,
and my job is to sell the lifeof this beer.
And my job is to sell the lifeof this beer.
What makes that so simple?
I should say I don't know ifanything is easy, but what makes
that so simple is I could havethe worst day in the world at
(02:57):
home with my family and go intowork to advertise and promote
for Modelo, and I wouldn't feelin any way that my personal life
or my challenges in my personallife had anything to do with
advertising Modelo beer.
Because we would hire models,we would hire people to say that
(03:21):
we would essentially just bewriting scripts and ideas for
other people to have to say butwhen you are the name and you
are the brand, here's what canhappen.
It can feel inauthentic to goonline and smile and say
(03:41):
inspirational things when youfeel like it, and this is the
really, really, really trickything about business that I've
had to walk so many clientsthrough this year and I've had
to go through it myself.
We've had a lot of personalchallenges with my wife's mom
has battled cancer for the lastcouple of years and we are kind
of co-caretakers and so, like,our entire schedule just got
(04:05):
completely flipped upside down.
You know we used to haveregular day dates for coffee.
We haven't had a day date in acouple of years.
You know we used to have a lotof different freedoms that in a
sense, we have given up to bethere for family and take care
of other things going on, andthat's been tough.
I've definitely had someseasons where you know you're
(04:28):
crying the night before and thenyou got to wake up and inspire
people and motivate people, andfor a lot of people that's a
tough thing.
And, by the way, it's alsoreally tough for me too, because
I'm human and I feel really,really, really big on a really
big level.
But I want to talk to you alittle bit today about how to
deal with that, because at theend of the day, especially if
(04:48):
you're someone who has abusiness where finances are
attached to it which I hopefinances are attached to your
business here's what can reallysuck.
You go through personalstruggles that make your life,
just in general, harder and moreemotional and more of just like
a struggle, and then, inaddition to that, your business
(05:12):
suffers and now you have lessmoney, and now you have two
really big problems.
You have the problem ofpersonal life being hard and you
have the problem of money nolonger being the advantage that
it used to be, and itessentially compounds the
hardness in your life.
And so what I've learnedthrough a couple of hard times
in my life is that, even whenpersonal life is hard, you can
(05:32):
choose and I'm going to show youhow in just a second you can
choose to put on a different hatfor the sake of your business,
to make sure you don'taccidentally compound your
personal issues with businessissues, because nothing in the
world is worse than goingthrough a hard time in your
personal life and in yourprofessional life.
That's some hard stuff.
(05:53):
So when possible, you want tominimize the amount of hard
things you have to deal with inlife, and in order to do that,
you might need to show up foryour business during some
seasons where you don't feellike showing up.
And I want to tell you a littlebit of a story to tell you like
how I kind of tap into this.
So my youngest son, paxton,some of you know, went through
(06:16):
three open heart surgeries bythe age of three and he's good
now.
Everything is fine now, so noreason to be sad or upset or
anything like that for me, buthe's good now.
So first one happened we foundout literally the night that he
was born, while he was in thenursery.
So we kind of just lived in thehospital for the first two or
three months of his life to getall that taken care of, came
(06:37):
home, thought everything wasgood.
About six months later foundout he needed another one.
The second one was the one thathit me the hardest.
First one happened in themoment.
There was nothing you could doabout it but just take care of
it.
But the second one was reallyreally, really hard, because it
was like hey, we found this,this is what's going to need to
happen.
We're going to schedule it fortwo months out and then you're
(06:57):
just sitting around for twomonths reliving all of the
trauma in your brain of what youhad to go through the first
time and realizing you got to gothrough it again.
It's one thing to be thrown intotragedy.
You just have to deal with it.
Fight or flight kicks in andyou, just as a parent, you just
deal with it.
That's what it is.
It's a whole nother thing to gothrough that once and then be
(07:21):
told you got to do it again andthen sit around for two months
thinking about all the issuesyou got to go through again.
And I just went through areally dark, I mean a really
dark place and I'll never forget.
My dad called me and said youknow, how are you doing?
You know, your mom is reallyworried about you.
I was like I just, I don't knowthat, I'm just falling apart
(07:42):
over here, like I'm done, I'mdone with God, I'm done with
life, I'm done with everything.
Like, if this is what life is,that my innocent son, who has
never done anything wrong, notold enough to have done anything
wrong, has to go through likethis life of God, of everything.
And my dad, who is a minister,has been a minister his whole
(08:02):
life.
I come from a long line ofpreachers.
He says what is God saying toyou?
I said, dad, God's not sayinganything to me.
I'm not a preacher, okay, goddoesn't talk to me.
And my dad said well, god talksto you differently.
I want you to go get yourguitar out and I want you to
play your guitar and see whatcomes out and I was like that's
the dumbest thing I've everheard in my life.
But I do love my dad, I dorespect my dad and I'm pretty
(08:25):
much desperate, so I'll tryanything.
So went and pulled out my guitarthis was back before I had a
business and music was my lifeand I just put my fingers on a C
chord and just started playingand an entire song just oozed
out of me, like I've basicallywent into a trance, an entire
song.
Weren't my words, I wasn'ttrying to say any of these words
(08:48):
.
I can promise you that it justoozed out and I found myself in
tears realizing that this song,the message of this song, was
that we all go through a hardtime, but during that hard time,
it either breaks you or makesyou into something new.
That was the first lesson.
The second lesson was this Inthe midst of your darkest hour,
(09:14):
you have this beautifulopportunity to be a light to
others who are going throughdarkness, by the way you handle
the darkness in your life.
And so what I realized was itsucks that I have to go through
this, that my kid has to gothrough this, that everyone we
know has to go through this, butif I can go through it with
(09:35):
some dignity and a smile on myface and some light, some hope
shining from me, I might be ableto inspire someone else going
through something just as hardthat doesn't know how to find
their strength other than seeingit in me, and that my friends
became my absolute, most corevalue, my life mission.
(10:01):
It's the reason I got a lightbulb tattooed on my right bicep
as a reminder that, guys, lightis not needed in the light.
Right now I'm in my studio.
I've got an overhead light onand then I've got these two
brightest puff lights shining inmy face to make sure we get the
right lighting for this camera.
So if you're watching over onYouTube, thank you for taking
(10:22):
the time to watch so that theselights and me going blind isn't
in vain.
All of this light.
If someone came in with thebrightest flashlight in the
world right now, I wouldn't evennotice it.
But if we turned out all thelights and we closed the shade
and we made it pitch black inhere, you could come in with one
of the most dim lights in theworld and everyone would notice
(10:47):
it.
And that is the thing, myfriends, is that darkness really
just represents not knowing.
It's the unknown.
Right when you're a kid, you'reafraid of the dark.
Why?
Because you don't know what'shappening.
When the lights turn on,everything's cool.
No one's afraid of a monsterbeing under their bed when the
lights are on.
We're only afraid when thelights are out.
It's the unknown, it's thescary, it's the uncertain.
(11:08):
This is not predictable.
I feel unsafe, but one singlelight if you're lost in the
middle of nowhere and totaldarkness, one single light
whether it's the North Star or alighthouse or whatever, can be
the hope that makes you feellike everything is going to be
okay and everything is going towork out.
(11:28):
So fast forward to 2017, I'dstarted my business, it had
taken off, created multi sixfigures, and I go through a
divorce.
And I'm waking up every singleday getting long ass voice memos
that are not very kind, notvery nice, and I'm dealing with
judgment.
I'm dealing with shame some ofit from within, some of it from
(11:50):
people outside and just feelingsuch a freaking heavy burden to
have to wake up every day, goingthrough such a hard thing and
find a way to be people'smotivational speaker and mentor,
and all of that because that'swhat I get paid to do, and it
was so freaking hard, but everyday I just woke up and and it
was so freaking hard, but everyday I just woke up and I didn't
(12:12):
have the tattoo yet I wish Iwould have Every single day.
I just woke up and asked myselfJosh, I know your life feels
like dark times right now, butdo you want to be a part of the
dark or a part of the light?
In other words, do you want tobe a part of the problem or do
you want to be a part of thesolution?
And what I found over timefeelings are really freaking
(12:33):
strong.
It's one of the things that wereally emphasize a lot in our
life coach certification is howto actually process the feelings
, because it's the feelingsthemselves that take us away
from the logic and cause us tothink irrationally.
So processing those that's whatlife coaching is is it's the
ability to process through theemotions, to look more through
(12:54):
the facts and the logic and whatis actually happening versus
what you're being triggered by.
But what I had to do is, overand over and over and over, even
though my feelings were sofreaking strong, I had to
realize my values are moreimportant than my feelings, and
I might feel like life sucks,everything is shit, everything's
(13:18):
gone to crap.
But I value being a light toother people way more than I
feel, and this is something Ifeel like so many people don't
understand.
So many people are like well, Ifeel like this, so it would be
inauthentic to go on socialmedia and smile and share
(13:38):
something positive, and I wouldsay the opposite.
I would say that that is one ofthe most integrity things you
could do is to say, even thoughI feel like this, because I
value people and want to inspireothers that might also be going
through this I'm going to puton a smile and go say something
(13:58):
that can help them.
To be fake is to pretend thatnothing in the world is wrong
and everything is wonderful andamazing.
To be authentic is to be honestabout the fact that you're
struggling, but you're here tohelp.
That doesn't mean you have toair out your dirty laundry.
By the way, I don't thinkanyone should be going on social
media.
Here's everything that I'mgoing through right now, but
(14:21):
again, there's such a bigdifference between being
authentic and being fake.
I'm not telling you to goonline and pretend to be a
different person.
I'm not telling you to goonline and pretend to be a
different person.
I'm not telling you to goonline and pretend that
everything is rainbows andbutterfly.
In fact, I think that's some ofthe grossest energy in the
world anyways.
I don't even think anybodylikes that.
(14:42):
I always joke that if you smiletoo much and you're too positive
, I don't trust you.
You're hiding something, yougot some dark ish you're dealing
with underneath all of that andyou just needed a whole lot of
positivity to cover it up.
But there's a really bigdifference between what I would
consider toxic positivity andhope and certainty.
(15:05):
Toxic positivity is when Ipretend nothing is wrong and
that everything is fine andgoing to work itself out.
Hope is the thought that thingsmight be puffed up right now,
but there is hope that it canget better if I continue to work
on myself and do things to worktoward that.
And there's a certainty thatcomes with hope, a certainty
(15:28):
that if I do the right things,it's gonna lead to a better
place.
And so what I wanna encourageyou to do for any of you out
there that are personal brandsis to remember that it's okay to
be you, the person, and thenit's also okay to have the
personal brand and those areallowed to be two different
(15:51):
things.
And what I mean by that is justbecause I'm a personal brand
doesn't mean I bring my entireperson with me onto the podcast.
I bring the part of the personthat is here to inspire and help
and motivate, because that'swhat my business stands for, and
on days that I feel like thatI'm not motivated myself.
(16:12):
Guess what?
That's Josh, the person thatreally has nothing to do with a
personal brand.
Again, if I were selling Modelobeer and I was not the name and
the face of it, I wouldn't belike I'm having a day I can't
sell Modelo beer today.
I wouldn't be like oh, I'mgoing through a hard time right
now.
We can't make any beercommercials.
That would make no sense.
(16:33):
It's okay to understand that youare both a person and a
personal brand and there aresome crossovers there, but it's
also okay to have someboundaries there.
I have some things that I gothrough with my family that we
don't talk about on the internet.
I don't go make a post everytime one of my kids froze a fit
and I get frustrated.
I don't make a post everysingle time something happens in
(16:55):
my marriage.
We don't share everything, andif you do, you're a weirdo.
Stop doing that.
We don't share everythingonline.
That's not how it works.
Why?
Because it's a brand and youget to choose what you do and
don't share, and I have certainthings that I choose to share
and other things I choose not to.
And it's the same formotivating and inspiring people.
(17:17):
I am choosing to step into therole of Josh.
The motivator, by the way, is adifferent person than Josh, the
husband.
I don't like go down in thekitchen and give my wife
motivational pep tops.
That'd be so weird.
Imagine me walking around thehouse just repeating business.
Like what a make-up weirdo.
Like nobody wants to be marriedto that guy.
(17:38):
So we wear lots of differenthats and that's actually a very
healthy thing.
So it's totally okay.
I'm going to give youpermission to take off your I'm
going through a show in mypersonal life hat and put on
your I'm a CEO who has some shitI need to handle hat the same
way you would in the house, whensometimes you need to be a
(17:59):
parent and other times you mightneed to cook or clean or sit
down and watch Netflix.
We all wear 50 different hatsin a day, it's okay.
That doesn't make you fake.
That makes you human.
It means you have differentthings going on.
So my biggest challenge to youtoday is to just simply remember
this Live your values over yourfeelings.
(18:21):
Your feelings are temporary andare not a representation of who
you are.
They are just literally arepresentation of what you're
currently, in this moment,feeling about the things you're
currently thinking about.
Like that's it, I could changeall of your feelings right now
good or bad, either way, Iwanted to by just saying certain
(18:43):
things.
And your feelings would change,but your values should not.
Feelings would change, but yourvalues should not, and so a
true leader lives by your values, even when it feels contrary to
your feelings.
So choose today to be the light.
Choose today to shine.
(19:04):
Choose today to stand up and bea lighthouse that others can
look to when they're lost out inthe freaking deep waters and
it's dark out and they havenothing to look forward to.
Be the freaking lighthouse thatothers can look to and say,
okay, there is hope.
Keep shining, all right.
Love you guys so much.
(19:26):
I believe in you so freakingmuch.
This is one of the reasons thatwe're actually I'll be talking
about this in the leadershipchallenge.
We're launching a new programthat's going to be one of the
most powerful things we've everdone.
We're calling it legacyleadership because that is my
like original LLC of my business, and what we're working on
doing is building a live program.
(19:48):
It's going to have livetraining, so every single week
we'll have a Zoom call togetherto dive in on specific topics a
little bit deeper, but then it'salso going to come with a whole
bunch of modules that arebasically going to help you
through whatever you're goingthrough.
Okay, so it's essentially anongoing program where you get
live calls with me once a week,but then you'll also get two to
(20:08):
three mini lessons emailed toyou every single week.
And the idea is this If you're aleader, you're going through
some hard times, sometimes inpersonal life, sometimes in
business life, and sometimes youneed to ride someone else's
coattails until you can findyour own confidence.
Sometimes, especially whenyou're going through harder
times, you need to be connectedto someone else's energy until
(20:32):
you can get back to your own.
And that's kind of the idea ofthe program is we want to take
business things and put theminto a program, but mix that
with a bunch of personal growthstuff, mix that with a bunch of
motivation stuff and essentiallymake it like this is the place
you come to get all of yourbusiness problems solved.
And some of those problems aregoing to be business, some of
(20:52):
them are going to be personal.
We're going to build out somecourses on relationships.
We're going to build out somecourses on work-life balance and
essentially make this aone-stop shop for everything you
need for your business and yourpersonal growth.
I'm really freaking pumped.
I'm going to be like officiallylaunching it on tomorrow
night's call.
So if it's past December 11th,you should be able to just find
(21:15):
it on the website atjoshcoatscom.
It's called Legacy Leadership.
We have a free community calledLegacy Leadership where we're
kind of building a paid ongoingacademy out of that, and I'm not
going to tell you the pricebecause it's a secret.
So I'm going to be talkingabout it in the launch and we
are doing some really specialprices this week only inside.
(21:36):
So I also don't want to say theprice is out loud, because you
might be listening to thispodcast three months later and
you're like what the hell, bro?
How come they're more expensivenow?
Well, because we had a reallyreally, really special founder's
price the first week that welaunched it.
So make sure and check that outat joshcoatscom If you're
(21:57):
listening to this live, makesure and check out the
leadership challengejoshcoatscom slash leadership so
that you can find out about thevery best deals, how to get in
at our founder's prices, getgrandfathered in at that price
and be a part of an amazingmovement.
We're building out an entireaffiliate program for it so that
you can share this program withyour team, with your friends,
and then get an affiliatecommission for sharing.
It's going to be an absolutelytransformational program that
(22:21):
brings together all of Josh'sbusiness principles, along with
all of the personal growthprinciples, mixed together and
then blended with just a big,huge dose of Josh's energy.
And that's one of the things I'mreally wanting to lean into is
realizing sometimes people arejust going through a season of
life where they just need alittle extra energetic support,
(22:46):
and I want you to be able toconnect and plug in to my energy
as often as you need to to getthrough whatever you're going
through, whether it's a personalchallenge, whether it's a
business challenge, whether it'sjust like I don't know what's
going on, but this month is justharder, this quarter is just
harder, or it's like dude, I'mkicking ass and taking names,
(23:11):
but I need someone else's energyto keep fueling me as I'm
climbing this mountain, becausethe reality is, if you're on a
journey, you're going to needsome fuel along the way, and
that's one of my superpowers, soI want to let you regularly
plug in and get all the energyyou need, all the support you
need.
All right Love you guys so much.
Have such an amazing day, havean incredible week, and I will
see all of you soon.
(23:32):
Don't forget everything youneed is already inside, and all
the resources you'll ever needare right under your nose.
We will see you soon, friends.
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