Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's the fresh show. This is what's trending A woman,
This is for you, Klein. A woman warned both close
and estranged friends not to invite her to weddings or
baby showers if they aren't regularly inviting her to movie night's,
coffee runs or lunch dates. She thinks an invitation is
just for the sake of receiving a gift. In a TikTok,
(00:20):
the woman sam, don't invite me to baby showers, weddings,
house swarming parties if you don't invite me to other
stuff movie nights, girls' night out, dinner, coffee dates, to lunch.
It's extremely offensive to pressure somebody into spending money on
life milestones without including them in your life's professions. Oh
that is period, it's what she said. Other people commented
(00:43):
that they are sick of people desiring their presence only
at important events that command the pricey present. One person said,
funny how I only get invited when my presence requires
that I bring a gift. Another said I couldn't have
said this better. I feel this so deeply on many levels.
Another praise people saying preach love this. Yeah, a lot
(01:04):
of people, I guess can relate to the idea that
out of nowhere you get an invitation in the mail
from somebody who I don't even know if they really
think you're going to show up or not, but but
they know that once you've gotten the invitation, that you're
going to feel some obligation to send something at least right, yep,
But I want to know how to eight five five
five one three five. You can text the same number.
(01:26):
By the way, how do you treat that that random invitation?
Because I've gotten invited in more than one thing before
that included it was like an email invitation, or even
if it was a written invitation, and then it included
like some form of link you know to to Here's
how you can donate to our honey fund, here's here's
an easy way for you to send a present. And
I haven't heard from this person in years, so I'm like,
(01:48):
you don't you don't care one way or another if
I actually show up, I don't think, right, but you
definitely want to get something out of me. I feel this,
But how do you treat how do you? I mean,
are the people as offended? Are they or are you
guys as enthusiastic about the idea of like forget about it.
If I don't see you regularly, then I'm not going
(02:09):
or is it like no, I'll just I'll acknowledge I
once knew this person, so I'll acknowledge their special occasion
for me, I don't. Like I love a party.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I don't mind, Like it doesn't bother me that if
I if I really don't talk to somebody in whatever,
like on a normal basis, and they invite me to
their wedding or a house orring party, I'm going to
bring a gift and have a good time, Like this
doesn't it really doesn't bother.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Me, Like especially if like.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I invited them to our like they were at my
wedding and I was at their wedding, so we do
have history, like I actually feel sometimes I get more
mad if I don't get an invite to Like if
I had history with somebody in the past and we're
really not that close but they're getting married and I
kind of don't get an invite to that, I'm like, damn,
(02:56):
that's kind of like like yes, like like I knew
you when you guys were together, and yeah, like life changes,
people drift apart, but like to not get an invite
to your wedding just because we're not currently friends right now,
that's kind of rude to me.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Damn, I have that issue too. I don't know. I
think I'm supposed to be invited everywhere.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Like I feel like if I knew you in high
school and we were friends, I see you getting married
or you having birthday party for kids. Yeah, I just
feel like, like, dang, I thought we were like, I
would invite you to my stuff, and I still do.
Like if I have a big birthday party, I literally
just invite everybody on my Facebook list. I don't care, like,
I just love like every like I love coming to
people's stuff. I feel like we can have a good time.
(03:38):
But I do get offended when I'm like, dang, I
thought we were cooler.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah, you know you got I'm.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Kind of relieved if I don't get invited to something's
just that means I don't have to do it. But
but I guess at the same time, sometimes I'll see
people get married, oh, and I'll be like that person
got invited. Yea, why them? And you know what I mean, Like,
there was a wedding not that long ago that involved
people that we know and I was like, how huh, yes,
(04:06):
like those guys are there, but but I didn't get invited.
But and it was a I'm trusting I didn't want
to go, so it didn't matter. But at the same time,
I was still like what wa right, like wa time,
like they invite wasn't even there, like for me to
say no, you know, yeah, like give me the chance
to say hell, no, hey, so figure good morning, Hi,
(04:28):
good morning. Hey. Does it bother you if out of
nowhere you get an invitation to something or do you
interpret that as this person just wants more gifts?
Speaker 5 (04:37):
I it's it's that they just want gifts because they
don't invite you to one thing, but then they won't
invite you to the rest. So I kind of feel like, oh,
like you said, do in buy people you know, and
then they won't invite you, but then something big don't
invite you because that want they want that good kiss.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
I mean, I just feel like if you can invite
me to a baby shower and then I'm not going
to get to know your baby, that just doesn't mean.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yeah, yeah, that's true, and that makes sense. And I agree,
like if if I don't see you in other stuff,
and then I get this random invitation for the special occasion.
Then I guess I'm going to assume it's a gift grab.
But what if you make I have a big impact
on someone's life and you just didn't know, Well that
could be, or if we don't live in the same town.
I mean, you know, I'm not expecting to get phone
(05:31):
calls from people who eat I can't, you know what
I mean, Like they might check in with me, but
I'm not expecting to get invited in you know, Friday night,
Bengo night or game night or whatever your house when
you live in Atlanta. You know what I'm saying, Like,
I don't so if someone got married like that, then
I would expect to. I mean, I just I guess
it's case by case.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
It's tough though, because you're kind of offended if you
don't get invited. Okay, you know the person, but then
you're kind of offended if I do invite you because
you think I just want to.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yeah, No, it's true. Yeah, it's true. Sophia. Thank you.
Have a good day.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
I have a good one.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, as long as I can send a gift actually
for me, if I can send a gift and get
out of physical appearance. Then I'll find with that. So
I'm actually the opposite now. But I can remember my
in my mid to late twenties, early thirties. It was
like then, this is why I say this topic is
for you, Caitline, because I know last year, a couple
of years was this way for you. But it was
like this just just onslaught. It was. It was all
(06:24):
these weddings and all these bachelor parties and all these
baby showers, and it's just constant stuff. And I'm like,
I don't know you barely. Hey, Cam, all right, good morning,
I can good morning. This woman went viral on TikTok
because she's like, look, if you don't invite me to
regular stuff, like regular like lunch and coffee and whatever,
then then don't send me an invitation of baby showers,
(06:45):
weddings or house rumming parties, because why would I go.
I barely know you. I know why because you want
a gift.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Right.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
I've been feeling that way probably the past year or two.
I feel like I don't see my friends on the regular,
but I'm getting invites to baby showers in particular, and
I show up and I am a great baby shower
gift giver, Like I go all out two themes of everything,
and then from there, like I.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Don't meet the baby.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
It takes like a year to two years to meet
the actual baby, and it's like so depressing because I
don't even see you. Yeah, so I agree. I mean,
I don't know. People have different things going on with
their lives, but I feel like you need to make
time for the people who.
Speaker 5 (07:32):
Show up for you.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
So I agree. I agree, Thank you, Cam have a
good day. Of course you do. But that's my thing
is like I don't. That's why the older I get
and sort of the tighter my circle gets, the easier
I think it would be for me if I ever
got married, if it were up to me just to
go elope, because the problem is once you get outside
(07:55):
like your immediate like you guys are family, my family,
and then I have like two or three close friends,
I'm talking about fewer than twenty people who really really
matter to me on a daily basis not that the
people then there's a circle outside of that. They still matter,
there's a circle outside of that. But I can think
of like five or six circles deep of people that
it's a slippery slope, who would expect to be invited
(08:17):
or would be offended if they weren't invited to something
some milestone in my life, you know what I mean,
So we can get out of hand quickly to where
we go from twenty to like two hundred. Because if
I'm going to invite this person, then I got to
invite that person, that person, and that person. So for
me at this point in my life, I would just
like to slip off and then just do it and
then that way, no one's offended because nobody was there,
(08:37):
you know what I mean, Because I don't want to
have to play this game where like you know this
mentor of mine, well I thought we were closer and
people get their feelings certain they would have won. This
is the opposite of this. This is somebody who would
have wanted to go, and I don't want any gifts,
so I don't care about that. Oh I'm going to
be so offended if I'm not there for it. Yeah,
but like, don't send me a I don't need you
to send me a toaster, you know what I'm saying,
(08:58):
Like I don't need you to send me I'm like,
I'm like China. You know what I mean, Like I don't,
I don't know. Like I'm just not about the presence
at that point. It's about the only people or who
are getting invited to my wedding at this point in
my life are people I actually would want to be present.
Oh and I'm having it on Thanksgiving, but.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
If you want to Lobe, I think you should have
Lope on Christmas Day.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Hey, Kylie, Hey, Hi morning, Kylie. I have felt this
way before too, but go ahead please. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
So we got a wedding invite for someone that we
weren't very close with, like you know, hung out with.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
We didn't even know how they had our new address,
to be honest, And it was like a week.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
Before the wedding and it was like RCP immediately barly feeless.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Exactly they had leftover, they had already committed to a
certain number of people. They got the first round of
of you know, acceptances RSVPs or whatever, and then you
were on the second tier yep, yep. And that means
they didn't really care if you were there or not.
That you definitely are there to write a check, that's
(10:07):
what that means. One percent yep.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, And I'm still going to drink all that alcohol
for free.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I'm telling you that, but it's not free because you
got to show up with you know, one hundred bucks
a person or what is not free in the fact
we didn't even respond one.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
Way or not.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yeah, I'm not doing it. Thank you, Kevin.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Let's tech.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
You had a good day. No, this happened to me,
I don't. You weren't on the show yet. This happened
to me a couple of years ago where a girl
that I went to college with called me a week
before her sister's wedding and was she's the maid of
honor in this wedding. There's a big occasion in her family.
And she's like, hey, will you be my date? Oh?
And I'm like, hell no. I didn't say hell no
to her. I politely declined because I had a conflict,
(10:48):
which I did. But you were inviting me seven days before.
She's never been married before, so this is the sister's
first wedding too, So you're inviting me to the biggest
occasion in your family history, modern history seven days before.
Somebody bailed on you. There's no way that she didn't
have another plan.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
A maid of honor.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
What you're doing a lot of things. Don't tell me
that you didn't have any concept of a date.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
So what's the timeframe? Henk, fine advance? Do I need
to invite you on the next day?
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Like, Hank, what you can't defend this? Seven days is
not seven days for me. It was in a different
state by the way. Okay, Well, so she thought not
only did I fight it, and I like this girl,
I thought it was I thought it was a little arrogant.
I thought it was a little arrogant to say, hey,
(11:43):
it was. It was like a Sunday. Literally, it's like, hey, Saturday,
my sister's getting married in this other place. Uh, will
you be my date? Like I don't. You had you
were going to bring another guy, and you decided at
the last minute that I was a better option, which
of course I was for it.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
I invite big timis of an hour before we go.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Again, it's not your wedding, but it's not your sister's wedding.
Oh come on, I don't think she's arrogant. Arrogant because
I don't think she I don't think she expected me
to say no. You should be a lot of somebody.
You should be happy you made the list. You know
what I'm saying, Like, who do I want to buy this?
(12:21):
Like is a good time?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Maybe we'll smash later, let's go.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
You said you probably would have thought of that. Maybe
I don't know, say when she got engaged, or maybe
I don't know, month or two ahead of time you
might have thought. I mean, you're assuming I got an
outfit that fits. You're assuming. Let me ask you a
question express the day of I shouldn't have to. Oh my,
let me ask you guys this. I'm gonna ask you
(12:47):
guys this, and then I'm gonna wrap it up. If
we're Shelley here, we're Shelley. Hold on this time, push
shell hold on. I can't, I gotta put again here. Okay,
here's my question to you guys, and I already know
the answer. This is rhetorical. If I came in here,
you know, my sister got married two years ago. If
(13:09):
I came in here and said, it's a Monday and
the wedding is a Saturday, and I came in here
and said, guys, I just invited uh someone to my
sister's wedding, which is on Saturday in Arizona, you guys
would say that is so rude. No, No, she has
no time. She has no time to get to figure
(13:30):
out how to get there, she has no time to
get an out of there. She has your class. You're
expecting that you could ask someone to a major family
my also in six days in advance. That is rude,
Miss Riad. You guys, I'm sorry, but I stand by this.
I'm one hundred percent right. I want to ask.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I want to ask how many I would ask?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
How many people did you ask before her? No, she
absolutely had another date and decided not to take him
at the last minute, which means that was not her
first choice.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Who cares, That's okay, choice you were the choice.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
I was the last choice. I was be team at best.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
You guys weren't dating. It's okay.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I think I thought it was rude. I didn't like.
I was rude. I didn't like. I didn't go thank you.
Don't tell me, Shelley, do not tell me you wouldn't
be like, well, really.
Speaker 7 (14:22):
Okay, take that aside. Do you like this girl like
you said you liked your right? She seems like a
good person.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Well, I thought this. I held her to hire regard.
I don't think it would be cool for me to
do this. To somebody else, So I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
I don't think it would be cool.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Who knows what kind of bind she got caught in,
but she wanted you there.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Somebody else that you're much into this.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
She invited you to a wedding, So what if it
was seven days out?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
She invited you. That's it because the other guy who
she invited my good five days ahead of time assumption?
Speaker 6 (15:03):
Right?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Who knows? Can we talk about poop again?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I don't want hear about weddings anymore.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Yeah, I hear that.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
We've had a number of days of conversation worth of Well, Shell,
you have stomach issues.
Speaker 7 (15:16):
I know that I have the opposite problem. I always
say I'm sorry, you know that's all right.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
All right, showdown. I love you guys, But I'm one
percent right here, and I'm not. I'm not always one
hundred percent right. Sometimes I'll sell my I'll sell the
idea like I really believe in it, but I don't today.
I'm right.
Speaker 6 (15:35):
So this sample group means nothing to you saying my
question is my question?
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Because our text is blowing up with people agreeing with me,
it's over. Well, did you want to know you would
probably know.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Did you ever follow up after the wedding?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Like, hey, you want to hang out?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Like?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Hey, you know?
Speaker 5 (15:50):
No?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
But I never heard from her either, So I was
that important.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
That I never am parents.
Speaker 7 (15:55):
She was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
No, this did to herself. I didn't do that. I
why is this fault all of a sudden a phone call?
Can you come to the biggest occasion in my family's history.
Maybe her, Maybe she doesn't care about weddings.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Maybe it wasn't right.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Maybe they got closer to the day found out that
you can't bring a date you know what?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Right? And then oh, you know what, let me call.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Frand for of course she knew the rules, you guys,
you of all people.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I know, but Fred, I can't ride with you on this.
I love a party, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Care if I'm fifth choice, I'm going and drinking. I
don't like a party, and I just