Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The bread show is on, is stay or go? All right,
let's lend our.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Expertise now to someone in need our dating expertise. I
would think between five of us we can figure this out.
Oh yes, one way or the other, someone's advice is
going to be right. You just had to figure out
whose it is. Probably mine, hat Natalia. Hello, I'm really
good at this. I'm good at telling other people what
to do. I'm in fact, not good at making my
(00:29):
own choices. I make terrible choices. Actually, But let's hear
what's going on with you and this dude that you've
been dating now for a few months.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
What happened? Tell us everything?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Sorry, So last week was my birthday. Oh thank you,
thank you very much, he said. He wanted to, you know,
plan dinner for me, and he reached out to my friends,
like five of them made the reservation. He decorated the
party room like his private room at this really nice restaurant.
(00:59):
It was super sweet, and he paid the tab after dinner,
and honestly, like I was super grateful, Like it couldn't
you know you will be dating a few months.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I can't believe he did that.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Look at this guy and calling the friends book in
the private room at the fancy restaurant paying for it.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Right, this dude is doing the most creations.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yeah yeah, I mean I was really rested. But then
when my friends told me that.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
He was wearing women's underwear, Oh, no way, I'm just
trying to I'm trying to guess what he might have
been doing. I'm trying to guess what what could have
possibly gone wrong here? Like this all sounds good. Uh,
it turns out he has the four wives, he's.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
In a cult. No, okay, okay, none of that. All right, well,
what is it?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I mean, it's not that bad yet.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
He so he sent a Venmo request to each.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
My friends, oh, asking to pay for their portion of dinner.
After yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So everybody, including you, thought he got the tab like
he was paying for this party for you. And then
kind of on the sly, he then hits everybody up
to pay their share, and everybody thought they kind of
got it.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
For free, right, Like everyone thought that it was really
like super sweet of him. And now all my friends
think he's cheap and they're saying, you know, it's a
red flag to invite I went out to dinner, then
pay for it and then ask for the money back,
like kind of behind my back.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Now, people, did people going into this do you think
expect to be paying for it? Like, if I'm going
it really depends, I guess on the setting, but depending
if I went to a fancy dinner for someone's birthday,
I would be going into it with the mindset that
I'm paying for at least my portion of this. Correct,
there's certain settings where it's like, I guess it's being provided,
(02:55):
but like, I don't know, you can read the room
on that, but I guess I would have gone in
to it expecting to pay.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
And so.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I don't know that you can necessarily say he's cheap
because you thought for a minute that you weren't going
to have to pay for it, and now you do.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, I mean you know what I mean. Yeah, Yeah,
he's cheap.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
He is.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I mean, I don't know. I feel like if you
invite everybody and then you pay, you're making this big
gesture at the moment and then you've got to take
it away.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
But what about all the effort he put into planning?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
This man booked the restaurant, he invited everybody, he bought
the decorations. In this economy, like he paid for your meal.
I'm sure, right, do you have a Venmo request too?
And by the way, what was he supposed to do?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Like, was he supposed to sort of break up the
night and be like, all right, everybody, you know, I
need all everyone's credit cards, or hey, I'm gonna everyone's
venilling me. Like, I feel like that's something that you
would have to handle after the fact.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
You can't do it right there, No, but he organized it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
But if you took out your girlfriend or wife or
hoever for dinner and you invited all of us to go,
you know you'd pick up the tab.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
The right thing to do. You organize the dinner. You're
her man.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
You're not just like her bestie or whatever or next
door neighbor. You're her man.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Well, I would obviously pay for my girlfriend or wife.
But I can't, honestly, honestly, I can't remember the less
time I went to a birthday dinner and the thrower
of the organizer of the event just covered the tab.
I really can't. I feel like everyone at this point
just expects to pay their share.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I honestly.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
In fact, we've done a topic on this before where
I went to now here's where I would argue I
went to a and I love these people. And every
time I bring this up, they text me like, hey, moron,
we've already been through this because they listen. We went
to a bowling birthday party. It was an activity birthday
party thrown by the guy's wife. We show up and
(04:50):
then at the end we all had to pay for
the activity, the drinks and the food. Everybody had to pay.
So now my thing would have been this. My thing
would have been you invited us all to like the
bowling part.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I didn't want to bowl.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
That should be that should have been covered. The activity
should be covered, and then maybe like a few trays
of appetizers and maybe like a round or two of
drinks and then say, hey, you know, we got the
first couple and the bowling and the food, but if
you want anything else then you know that's on you.
But no, at the end of the night, we all
it was like, all right, well, a hundred bucks a
piece or whatever, And I'm like, huh, I.
Speaker 6 (05:24):
Mean I think when you grab the tab, like you know,
I'll pay it for my friends, and but you make
it clear like hey, I can you know I'll pay this,
I'll put it all on my card. You guys just
throw me whenever you can on Venmo like you, I
think you have to articulate that you're expecting to be
paid back ahead of time, yes, like while you're doing
a check, like usually we don't want to do separate
cards anymore.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Or do you invite everybody and say, hey, look, I'm
planning this thing and I'll cover the first part, but like, hey,
it's probably gonna want to be about a hundred bucks
a person for this, and that's okay with everybody.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Like to be nice. Do you say that ahead of time? Yes,
you do, because if you don't, then you need to
pay it, Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
So then if I walk out having not paid at
a part that i'm I am fair to assume that
I was that was gifted to me and I should
not have And if I get a Venmo request after
the fact, I should not have to pay it.
Speaker 7 (06:08):
I request you after you have to pay it. But
it's offense. I think like you didn't lay it out clearly.
I mean it was thoughtful, the gesture was there.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Is it fair to say that he is cheap?
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Yes? Or maybe he's just a little broke, you know,
like broke don't plan.
Speaker 8 (06:30):
For dinner. Yeah, it didn't need to be like my friend.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
But don't leave him, girl, Okay, I think I think
you should say because this is something you can work
out in the future. Like, babe, that was great every
you know, I appreciate what you did. Next time, though,
just let my friends know ahead of time that they're
going to have to pay for their meals and just
leave it at that. Don't leave this is a good man, girl.
People are not planning parties, and he made a.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Reservation and believe he got everybody together. Agree.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Look, in a perfect world, if I get invited to
a private room and a thing and no one says
a word to me ahead of time about what the
rules are, what the expectations are. No, you're right, I
expect that that I'm just being invited. My time is
you know, I don't know that's you want me there,
so you're buying my dinner. I do assume that if nothing.
But at the same time, you know, he could have
(07:22):
done how many times we hear on this show about
guys who do nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
He didn't.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
You know, this guy got people together, he got a date,
he had a venue.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, he went the party city. I remember me.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes, he should pay for everybody, or or he should
have set the expectation ahead of time, but he.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Didn't, so we're dumbing this guy. No, I don't know about.
Speaker 7 (07:41):
All that, but get dressed, like moving forward, like you
need to live within your means, like don't do.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
These for that.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
And I never think it's on someone's partner to pay
for the friends. I want to make that clear. I
don't think you have to do that. I just think
the way in which he did it kind of sent
that message.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Yes, I would show up there without my pocketbook. I
would be ex like, okay, like, if you're inviting me
to this, I'm guessing you're paying. Because he didn't lay
it out. You didn't say, hey it's gonna be one
hundred bucks a person. Hey it's going to be this.
You know what I mean, bring your check? Yeah, yeah,
you know, I mean I hear that. Let me take
some phone calls on this, Natalian. I see what people
(08:17):
have to say. Have your radio one or iHeart or whatever,
and thanks for calling. Good luck with this, Thank you
so much.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I appreciate it. Eight five.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, he should have paid
for it. But this is not the worst thing I've
ever heard. No, it's it's a little cringey, you know.
But as far as like, oh this guy's cheap or whatever,
I mean, we need to look a little more globally
than that we got to.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I mean, is is he cheap?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Is he cheap about everything? Is everything? You know?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
We get the Is he the guy that when you
go out to dinner like just socially, that he gets
the itemized bill and goes I did, well, I didn't
eat any of that, so whatever, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Going to do that, dude.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I get screwed every time I go to dinner by
myself because inevitably I pay for two people every time,
and it's usually just me. So I don't want to
hear it. I don't need any of the I didn't
need any of the tartar, you know what. I didn't either.
Also didn't drink five drinks? Right, you just it just
is right? Like how much? So if this dude is
(09:14):
doing that on everything, then you may that may be annoying.
You may actually be with a cheap person, but this
may be just a matter of poor communication.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I'm not sure. Ryan, Hey, Hey, Ryan, I know what
he's doing.
Speaker 9 (09:29):
He's probably recently got a new car a card, and
he's got to spend you know, like a thousand, three
thousand dollars in the first few months in order to
get the cash back, and so in order to not
do that, he just buys something really expensive and gets
everybody to pay him back and then he gets the
cash back bonus.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I think you nailed it, you know what, maybe because
I have another buddy who did that.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
We all went on a trip and he insisted on
booking all the rooms because he wanted it to go
on his He wanted all the points, and we all
had to pay him back, and of course we knew
we were paying for our own rooms or whatever, but
like he was like.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
No, no, I'll take care of it. I do love getting points.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
No, And then and then like a month later, the
guy's in Central Pay or whatever. I'm like, I paid
for that, give me a damn points. But so maybe
that's what it is, Ryan, Maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 9 (10:12):
You might use the cash back bonus on her though,
So oh.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Okay, well hopefully not his girlfriend or another girlfriend or
his wife or somebody else.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
That'd be bad. Ryan. Thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, I still think you got to go into everything
you're doing socially assuming you are paying for I just
I think you do, and then if you don't, well
then lucky you. Right, But I think you got to
assume I'm going to a fancy dinner this dude. I mean,
unless this guy is like you know that he is,
I don't know, the heir to the tic tac you
(10:45):
know before Chender is you know, grandfather invented post it
notes or something like, you know, then I think you
just got to assume that there's just not thousands of
dollars laying around for this.
Speaker 7 (10:54):
Yeah, there's nothing more attractive than a man that pays
for the whole group. Like when yeah, Allen and Kaylen
came out for my birthday with Hibachi and Mike threw
down and I was like, okay.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Yes, and I was not expecting that gave it up.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yea, it was a big night for him. I was like,
even Kaylen got involved, and that's hen.
Speaker 6 (11:18):
Want, that's out of the ordinary.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, yeah, because there's nothing like coming home from Habachi
and being like, let's get it. Hey, Chloe, good morning,
good morning, Hi Chloe. So just to recap here, this
woman has been dating guy for a few months, and
he threw a fancy birthday party for her, invited her friends,
the whole thing, and then after the fact hit everybody
(11:43):
up and said, hey, you owe me this much for
your share of the party. And I think everybody thought
they were getting it for free, and now they're talking
about it behind his back.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
What do you think, stare go?
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Okay, so I think she should stay. And I've got
a couple of points why. So First of all, my
now husband, like when we were for like two or
three months, would have never like he's the poor thing slow,
he would have never done that for me. So I
think the fact that this guy even.
Speaker 10 (12:08):
Took the time to plan all this stuff is like
there's something there. And then second, like I absolutely one
agree he needed to have communicated that to the friends beforehand,
But I think it's more of a red flag that
like the friends, like if you're a girl's girl, I
feel like you wouldn't go tell them like, oh, hey,
(12:29):
by the way, after he did like this super nice
thing for you, he then he did like a super
big thing.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
And two.
Speaker 11 (12:40):
I just think I don't know, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
They are coming for him, like for the friend group
to be like Oh, by the way, that wasn't even free.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know. It's sort of like well.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, yeah, well but but this sounded like people were
talking about it, like to her directly.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
That's what I mean, that's what I did. Yes, the
friends as leave all your friends.
Speaker 10 (13:09):
Yeah, yeah, you're still using vinmo.
Speaker 11 (13:12):
Like, don't use venmo.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Because then you have to like get the fee when
you transfer it to your bank account.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Oh well, it is a little public. It is amazing.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
It is amazing what you can see. Actually, it's a
great stocking method that I never think of.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
They don't charge me. I just do the wait a
couple of days.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Oh yeah, you wait, I can't wait. Yeah, you me
a birthday party, pay for it day. Hey, thanks for listening,
have a good day.
Speaker 9 (13:42):
Yep, you too.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I'm always amazed. Like the other day I was on Venmo.
I sent my brother in law something for some money
for something, and I like, I'm looking at a constant
stream of like this has not only happened with xes
of mine, but then a guy that I know that
like he's a family friend. Everyone talks about like how
successful and suavey is and everything he's in a relationship,
(14:03):
I guess, and all that I could see was just
constantly it looked like everything was split, like it was
either him sending to his girlfriend or his girlfriend sending
to him, and it would be like lunch, dinner, oh,
this that the other thing. And I'm not talking about bills.
It was like it looked like every time they went
out it was split. This is girlfriend boyfriend. Yeah, And
(14:23):
I'm going I thought this doing was I thought this
dude was a baller, Like it doesn't look like he's
paying for anything on his own.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
That's how he's a baller. And then I see.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Excess the same way, where it's like half of this
and half of that. I'm like, you didn't pay for
half another when you were with me. That's going on?
What is this person doing to you that I didn't
do a lot of things? Hey, Robin, Hey.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Good morning. Sayago, what do you think?
Speaker 11 (14:48):
I think it's the conversation actually, because I think this
could be a fundamental difference between the two of them
and how they do things. But I have to say,
with that set, I think that you know, you set
expectations at the beginning of everything you do, no matter what,
and you know, I plan events for a living, and
(15:10):
I would never ever set up an event and say, oh,
by the way afterwards, tell someone I have to say,
like you've set that expectation from the front at the beginning,
right like Fred you look at galas and things like that,
the galss says it's one thousand dollars to get in,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, yeah, And you know ahead of time when you
do what you're doing, you know how much it's.
Speaker 11 (15:31):
Going to you know how much you know you're in,
and then you know whether or not you want to go.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah, that is true. That is true.
Speaker 11 (15:39):
And then I suppose it takes conversations if.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
You throw out some big number, you know, hey we're
going to this stancey going to fancy spot. It's gonna
cost this much, and then people start saying, hey, I
can't make it.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
You know. Then then maybe you.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Realize, well, I've I've outkicked my coverage here, like I need,
I need, we need to lessen the venue or I
don't know, but that that.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Can get weird room the right way.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah, thank you, Rob, and have
a good day.
Speaker 11 (16:00):
You're welcome. YouTube.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I am this to me always a little different than
like like I just saw a whole rant on TikTok.
And you know how I feel about weddings. You know,
I hate I hate this philosophy that I'm supposed to
try and figure out how much my my presence that
your wedding cost son and then give a gift that's commensurate,
you know, So like I hate this logic that's like, well,
(16:24):
oh they had a band, and oh they had a
three course meal and an open bar, so that was
probably two hundred bucks a person, So I better give
a gift that's at least two hundred bucks. If I
give you a gift that's two hundred bucks or five
hundred bucks or whatever, it's based on what I want
to give you. It's not based on me compensating you
for overspending on your wedding. Like, do what you can
afford and everybody will be happy.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
That's there.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
And what don't go out and spend one hundred thousand
dollars or something when you only had twenty and then
expect that your guests are going to pick up the difference,
because they probably won't. And people that you expect to
pay will not give you what you think it's inevitable.
So just do the thing that you can afford, do
what you want to do, and then if you if
you wind up making it out like a band at
(17:06):
the end, that's right. But that's different because there's sort
of like etiquette to weddings and those and those sorts
of things.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
This is a little loose.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Like I don't I don't necessarily know there's one steadfast
rule here to follow. I hate it, but yeah, I
guess maybe ahead of time it would have been good
to mention that the guests are paying for this party,
not me.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Hey, Melissa, yes, I got, I got, you got?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
And what if what if what he's charging people adds
up to more? What if somehow he includes himself and
her in that so that every money, So that what
if he makes money on Now that's tacky.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
One of it's like, wait, man, how much is CON's on? Times?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
How many that dinner was not two thousand dollars or whatever?
And then it turns out the dude's like a party planner.
Now he's making money, he's throwing events. Melissa, what do you.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Think you check?
Speaker 12 (17:56):
The words right out of my mouth. This is so tacky,
and I'm sorry, but if you're dating somebody there's some
logic behind during a party and charging people for that party.
Speaker 8 (18:06):
What is this a frat party?
Speaker 10 (18:08):
To people at the door for a srat.
Speaker 12 (18:10):
Party, not a freaking birthday party for the woman that
you love or you're in a relationship with. This is
just absolutely affer to me. I would so go run
on me, run so fast.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, it's not a great look, But I also I
think communication could have been better.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But I'm not certain that he's sinister yet. I'm not sure.
I gotta know more.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I gotta know if he's like this in every aspect
of his life, because that is a whole different thing.
Speaker 12 (18:36):
Listen, if my friend invited me to a birthday party
and then told me I was on the hook later
for a hundred bucks, I would absolutely tell his girlfriend
and be like, what are you doing? No?
Speaker 11 (18:48):
Absolutely not?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay, fair enough, thank you me. Listen, have a good day,
lod you die. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
How many of you would rat on the guy or
the girl? Like how many? Or would you keep it
to you yourself?
Speaker 4 (19:00):
I keep it to myself just because I don't want
to embarrass her or make her feel in a kind
of way, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I would just suck it up.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
And I would do the honorable I would do the
honorable thing. And that's just come here and talk about it.
The bread show is on, is stay or go? All right,
let's lend our.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Expertise now to someone in need our dating expertise. I
would think between five of us we can figure this out.
Oh yes, one way or the other, someone's advice is
going to be right. You just had to figure out
whose it is. Probably mine, hat Natalia. Hello, I'm really
good at this. I'm good at telling other people what
to do. I'm in fact, not good at making my
(00:29):
own choices. I make terrible choices. Actually, But let's hear
what's going on with you and this dude that you've
been dating now for a few months.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
What happened? Tell us everything?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Sorry, So last week was my birthday. Oh thank you,
thank you very much, he said. He wanted to, you know,
plan dinner for me, and he reached out to my friends,
like five of them made the reservation. He decorated the
party room like his private room at this really nice restaurant.
(00:59):
It was super sweet, and he paid the tab after dinner,
and honestly, like I was super grateful, Like it couldn't
you know you will be dating a few months.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I can't believe he did that.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Look at this guy and calling the friends book in
the private room at the fancy restaurant paying for it.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Right, this dude is doing the most creations.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yeah yeah, I mean I was really rested. But then
when my friends told me that.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
He was wearing women's underwear, Oh, no way, I'm just
trying to I'm trying to guess what he might have
been doing. I'm trying to guess what what could have
possibly gone wrong here? Like this all sounds good. Uh,
it turns out he has the four wives, he's.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
In a cult. No, okay, okay, none of that. All right, well,
what is it?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I mean, it's not that bad yet.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
He so he sent a Venmo request to each.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
My friends, oh, asking to pay for their portion of dinner.
After yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So everybody, including you, thought he got the tab like
he was paying for this party for you. And then
kind of on the sly, he then hits everybody up
to pay their share, and everybody thought they kind of
got it.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
For free, right, Like everyone thought that it was really
like super sweet of him. And now all my friends
think he's cheap and they're saying, you know, it's a
red flag to invite I went out to dinner, then
pay for it and then ask for the money back,
like kind of behind my back.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Now, people, did people going into this do you think
expect to be paying for it? Like, if I'm going
it really depends, I guess on the setting, but depending
if I went to a fancy dinner for someone's birthday,
I would be going into it with the mindset that
I'm paying for at least my portion of this. Correct,
there's certain settings where it's like, I guess it's being provided,
(02:55):
but like, I don't know, you can read the room
on that, but I guess I would have gone in
to it expecting to pay.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
And so.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I don't know that you can necessarily say he's cheap
because you thought for a minute that you weren't going
to have to pay for it, and now you do.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, I mean you know what I mean. Yeah, Yeah,
he's cheap.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
He is.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I mean, I don't know. I feel like if you
invite everybody and then you pay, you're making this big
gesture at the moment and then you've got to take
it away.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
But what about all the effort he put into planning?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
This man booked the restaurant, he invited everybody, he bought
the decorations. In this economy, like he paid for your meal.
I'm sure, right, do you have a Venmo request too?
And by the way, what was he supposed to do?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Like, was he supposed to sort of break up the
night and be like, all right, everybody, you know, I
need all everyone's credit cards, or hey, I'm gonna everyone's
venilling me. Like, I feel like that's something that you
would have to handle after the fact.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
You can't do it right there, No, but he organized it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
But if you took out your girlfriend or wife or
hoever for dinner and you invited all of us to go,
you know you'd pick up the tab.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
The right thing to do. You organize the dinner. You're
her man.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
You're not just like her bestie or whatever or next
door neighbor. You're her man.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Well, I would obviously pay for my girlfriend or wife.
But I can't, honestly, honestly, I can't remember the less
time I went to a birthday dinner and the thrower
of the organizer of the event just covered the tab.
I really can't. I feel like everyone at this point
just expects to pay their share.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I honestly.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
In fact, we've done a topic on this before where
I went to now here's where I would argue I
went to a and I love these people. And every
time I bring this up, they text me like, hey, moron,
we've already been through this because they listen. We went
to a bowling birthday party. It was an activity birthday
party thrown by the guy's wife. We show up and
(04:50):
then at the end we all had to pay for
the activity, the drinks and the food. Everybody had to pay.
So now my thing would have been this. My thing
would have been you invited us all to like the
bowling part.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I didn't want to bowl.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
That should be that should have been covered. The activity
should be covered, and then maybe like a few trays
of appetizers and maybe like a round or two of
drinks and then say, hey, you know, we got the
first couple and the bowling and the food, but if
you want anything else then you know that's on you.
But no, at the end of the night, we all
it was like, all right, well, a hundred bucks a
piece or whatever, And I'm like, huh, I.
Speaker 6 (05:24):
Mean I think when you grab the tab, like you know,
I'll pay it for my friends, and but you make
it clear like hey, I can you know I'll pay this,
I'll put it all on my card. You guys just
throw me whenever you can on Venmo like you, I
think you have to articulate that you're expecting to be
paid back ahead of time, yes, like while you're doing
a check, like usually we don't want to do separate
cards anymore.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Or do you invite everybody and say, hey, look, I'm
planning this thing and I'll cover the first part, but like, hey,
it's probably gonna want to be about a hundred bucks
a person for this, and that's okay with everybody.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Like to be nice. Do you say that ahead of time? Yes,
you do, because if you don't, then you need to
pay it, Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
So then if I walk out having not paid at
a part that i'm I am fair to assume that
I was that was gifted to me and I should
not have And if I get a Venmo request after
the fact, I should not have to pay it.
Speaker 7 (06:08):
I request you after you have to pay it. But
it's offense. I think like you didn't lay it out clearly.
I mean it was thoughtful, the gesture was there.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Is it fair to say that he is cheap?
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Yes? Or maybe he's just a little broke, you know,
like broke don't plan.
Speaker 8 (06:30):
For dinner. Yeah, it didn't need to be like my friend.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
But don't leave him, girl, Okay, I think I think
you should say because this is something you can work
out in the future. Like, babe, that was great every
you know, I appreciate what you did. Next time, though,
just let my friends know ahead of time that they're
going to have to pay for their meals and just
leave it at that. Don't leave this is a good man, girl.
People are not planning parties, and he made a.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Reservation and believe he got everybody together. Agree.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Look, in a perfect world, if I get invited to
a private room and a thing and no one says
a word to me ahead of time about what the
rules are, what the expectations are. No, you're right, I
expect that that I'm just being invited. My time is
you know, I don't know that's you want me there,
so you're buying my dinner. I do assume that if nothing.
But at the same time, you know, he could have
(07:22):
done how many times we hear on this show about
guys who do nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
He didn't.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
You know, this guy got people together, he got a date,
he had a venue.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, he went the party city. I remember me.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes, he should pay for everybody, or or he should
have set the expectation ahead of time, but he.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Didn't, so we're dumbing this guy. No, I don't know about.
Speaker 7 (07:41):
All that, but get dressed, like moving forward, like you
need to live within your means, like don't do.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
These for that.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
And I never think it's on someone's partner to pay
for the friends. I want to make that clear. I
don't think you have to do that. I just think
the way in which he did it kind of sent
that message.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Yes, I would show up there without my pocketbook. I
would be ex like, okay, like, if you're inviting me
to this, I'm guessing you're paying. Because he didn't lay
it out. You didn't say, hey it's gonna be one
hundred bucks a person. Hey it's going to be this.
You know what I mean, bring your check? Yeah, yeah,
you know, I mean I hear that. Let me take
some phone calls on this, Natalian. I see what people
(08:17):
have to say. Have your radio one or iHeart or whatever,
and thanks for calling. Good luck with this, Thank you
so much.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I appreciate it. Eight five.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, he should have paid
for it. But this is not the worst thing I've
ever heard. No, it's it's a little cringey, you know.
But as far as like, oh this guy's cheap or whatever,
I mean, we need to look a little more globally
than that we got to.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I mean, is is he cheap?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Is he cheap about everything? Is everything? You know?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
We get the Is he the guy that when you
go out to dinner like just socially, that he gets
the itemized bill and goes I did, well, I didn't
eat any of that, so whatever, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Going to do that, dude.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I get screwed every time I go to dinner by
myself because inevitably I pay for two people every time,
and it's usually just me. So I don't want to
hear it. I don't need any of the I didn't
need any of the tartar, you know what. I didn't either.
Also didn't drink five drinks? Right, you just it just
is right? Like how much? So if this dude is
(09:14):
doing that on everything, then you may that may be annoying.
You may actually be with a cheap person, but this
may be just a matter of poor communication.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I'm not sure. Ryan, Hey, Hey, Ryan, I know what
he's doing.
Speaker 9 (09:29):
He's probably recently got a new car a card, and
he's got to spend you know, like a thousand, three
thousand dollars in the first few months in order to
get the cash back, and so in order to not
do that, he just buys something really expensive and gets
everybody to pay him back and then he gets the
cash back bonus.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I think you nailed it, you know what, maybe because
I have another buddy who did that.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
We all went on a trip and he insisted on
booking all the rooms because he wanted it to go
on his He wanted all the points, and we all
had to pay him back, and of course we knew
we were paying for our own rooms or whatever, but
like he was like.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
No, no, I'll take care of it. I do love getting points.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
No, And then and then like a month later, the
guy's in Central Pay or whatever. I'm like, I paid
for that, give me a damn points. But so maybe
that's what it is, Ryan, Maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 9 (10:12):
You might use the cash back bonus on her though,
So oh.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Okay, well hopefully not his girlfriend or another girlfriend or
his wife or somebody else.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
That'd be bad. Ryan. Thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, I still think you got to go into everything
you're doing socially assuming you are paying for I just
I think you do, and then if you don't, well
then lucky you. Right, But I think you got to
assume I'm going to a fancy dinner this dude. I mean,
unless this guy is like you know that he is,
I don't know, the heir to the tic tac you
(10:45):
know before Chender is you know, grandfather invented post it
notes or something like, you know, then I think you
just got to assume that there's just not thousands of
dollars laying around for this.
Speaker 7 (10:54):
Yeah, there's nothing more attractive than a man that pays
for the whole group. Like when yeah, Allen and Kaylen
came out for my birthday with Hibachi and Mike threw
down and I was like, okay.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Yes, and I was not expecting that gave it up.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yea, it was a big night for him. I was like,
even Kaylen got involved, and that's hen.
Speaker 6 (11:18):
Want, that's out of the ordinary.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, yeah, because there's nothing like coming home from Habachi
and being like, let's get it. Hey, Chloe, good morning,
good morning, Hi Chloe. So just to recap here, this
woman has been dating guy for a few months, and
he threw a fancy birthday party for her, invited her friends,
the whole thing, and then after the fact hit everybody
(11:43):
up and said, hey, you owe me this much for
your share of the party. And I think everybody thought
they were getting it for free, and now they're talking
about it behind his back.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
What do you think, stare go?
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Okay, so I think she should stay. And I've got
a couple of points why. So First of all, my
now husband, like when we were for like two or
three months, would have never like he's the poor thing slow,
he would have never done that for me. So I
think the fact that this guy even.
Speaker 10 (12:08):
Took the time to plan all this stuff is like
there's something there. And then second, like I absolutely one
agree he needed to have communicated that to the friends beforehand,
But I think it's more of a red flag that
like the friends, like if you're a girl's girl, I
feel like you wouldn't go tell them like, oh, hey,
(12:29):
by the way, after he did like this super nice
thing for you, he then he did like a super
big thing.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
And two.
Speaker 11 (12:40):
I just think I don't know, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
They are coming for him, like for the friend group
to be like Oh, by the way, that wasn't even free.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know. It's sort of like well.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, yeah, well but but this sounded like people were
talking about it, like to her directly.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
That's what I mean, that's what I did. Yes, the
friends as leave all your friends.
Speaker 10 (13:09):
Yeah, yeah, you're still using vinmo.
Speaker 11 (13:12):
Like, don't use venmo.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Because then you have to like get the fee when
you transfer it to your bank account.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Oh well, it is a little public. It is amazing.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
It is amazing what you can see. Actually, it's a
great stocking method that I never think of.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
They don't charge me. I just do the wait a
couple of days.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Oh yeah, you wait, I can't wait. Yeah, you me
a birthday party, pay for it day. Hey, thanks for listening,
have a good day.
Speaker 9 (13:42):
Yep, you too.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I'm always amazed. Like the other day I was on Venmo.
I sent my brother in law something for some money
for something, and I like, I'm looking at a constant
stream of like this has not only happened with xes
of mine, but then a guy that I know that
like he's a family friend. Everyone talks about like how
successful and suavey is and everything he's in a relationship,
(14:03):
I guess, and all that I could see was just
constantly it looked like everything was split, like it was
either him sending to his girlfriend or his girlfriend sending
to him, and it would be like lunch, dinner, oh,
this that the other thing. And I'm not talking about bills.
It was like it looked like every time they went
out it was split. This is girlfriend boyfriend. Yeah, And
(14:23):
I'm going I thought this doing was I thought this
dude was a baller, Like it doesn't look like he's
paying for anything on his own.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
That's how he's a baller. And then I see.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Excess the same way, where it's like half of this
and half of that. I'm like, you didn't pay for
half another when you were with me. That's going on?
What is this person doing to you that I didn't
do a lot of things? Hey, Robin, Hey.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Good morning. Sayago, what do you think?
Speaker 11 (14:48):
I think it's the conversation actually, because I think this
could be a fundamental difference between the two of them
and how they do things. But I have to say,
with that set, I think that you know, you set
expectations at the beginning of everything you do, no matter what,
and you know, I plan events for a living, and
(15:10):
I would never ever set up an event and say, oh,
by the way afterwards, tell someone I have to say,
like you've set that expectation from the front at the beginning,
right like Fred you look at galas and things like that,
the galss says it's one thousand dollars to get in,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, yeah, And you know ahead of time when you
do what you're doing, you know how much it's.
Speaker 11 (15:31):
Going to you know how much you know you're in,
and then you know whether or not you want to go.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah, that is true. That is true.
Speaker 11 (15:39):
And then I suppose it takes conversations if.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
You throw out some big number, you know, hey we're
going to this stancey going to fancy spot. It's gonna
cost this much, and then people start saying, hey, I
can't make it.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
You know. Then then maybe you.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Realize, well, I've I've outkicked my coverage here, like I need,
I need, we need to lessen the venue or I
don't know, but that that.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Can get weird room the right way.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah, thank you, Rob, and have
a good day.
Speaker 11 (16:00):
You're welcome. YouTube.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I am this to me always a little different than
like like I just saw a whole rant on TikTok.
And you know how I feel about weddings. You know,
I hate I hate this philosophy that I'm supposed to
try and figure out how much my my presence that
your wedding cost son and then give a gift that's commensurate,
you know, So like I hate this logic that's like, well,
(16:24):
oh they had a band, and oh they had a
three course meal and an open bar, so that was
probably two hundred bucks a person, So I better give
a gift that's at least two hundred bucks. If I
give you a gift that's two hundred bucks or five
hundred bucks or whatever, it's based on what I want
to give you. It's not based on me compensating you
for overspending on your wedding. Like, do what you can
afford and everybody will be happy.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
That's there.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
And what don't go out and spend one hundred thousand
dollars or something when you only had twenty and then
expect that your guests are going to pick up the difference,
because they probably won't. And people that you expect to
pay will not give you what you think it's inevitable.
So just do the thing that you can afford, do
what you want to do, and then if you if
you wind up making it out like a band at
(17:06):
the end, that's right. But that's different because there's sort
of like etiquette to weddings and those and those sorts
of things.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
This is a little loose.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Like I don't I don't necessarily know there's one steadfast
rule here to follow. I hate it, but yeah, I
guess maybe ahead of time it would have been good
to mention that the guests are paying for this party,
not me.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Hey, Melissa, yes, I got, I got, you got?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
And what if what if what he's charging people adds
up to more? What if somehow he includes himself and
her in that so that every money, So that what
if he makes money on Now that's tacky.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
One of it's like, wait, man, how much is CON's on? Times?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
How many that dinner was not two thousand dollars or whatever?
And then it turns out the dude's like a party planner.
Now he's making money, he's throwing events. Melissa, what do you.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Think you check?
Speaker 12 (17:56):
The words right out of my mouth. This is so tacky,
and I'm sorry, but if you're dating somebody there's some
logic behind during a party and charging people for that party.
Speaker 8 (18:06):
What is this a frat party?
Speaker 10 (18:08):
To people at the door for a srat.
Speaker 12 (18:10):
Party, not a freaking birthday party for the woman that
you love or you're in a relationship with. This is
just absolutely affer to me. I would so go run
on me, run so fast.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, it's not a great look, But I also I
think communication could have been better.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But I'm not certain that he's sinister yet. I'm not sure.
I gotta know more.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I gotta know if he's like this in every aspect
of his life, because that is a whole different thing.
Speaker 12 (18:36):
Listen, if my friend invited me to a birthday party
and then told me I was on the hook later
for a hundred bucks, I would absolutely tell his girlfriend
and be like, what are you doing? No?
Speaker 11 (18:48):
Absolutely not?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay, fair enough, thank you me. Listen, have a good day,
lod you die. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
How many of you would rat on the guy or
the girl? Like how many? Or would you keep it
to you yourself?
Speaker 4 (19:00):
I keep it to myself just because I don't want
to embarrass her or make her feel in a kind
of way, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I would just suck it up.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
And I would do the honorable I would do the
honorable thing. And that's just come here and talk about it.
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