Radio Blogs: Jason vs. Opossum

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yet I tell them page, Yeah, they talk better than
These are the radio blogs on the Fred Show.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
We're running in our diaries, except we say them a
loud We call them logs.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Jason is a perilous moment in your life. Go, oh
my god, thank you, dear blog. So I had the
most terrifying start to my day today. So we leave
the house what literally feels like probably the middle of
the night, like probably technically, yeah, And so it's pitch black,
and my boyfriend Mike has a huge He built this

(00:31):
huge pond in the backyard, and so I feel like
it's like a different ecosystem and like creatures live there
and like things grow really fast all because there's like
all this foliage.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Right.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
So I walk out of the house in fear every
single day with my hand like waving in front of
my face because I'm going to walk through a spider web.
I know it's going to happen. So I'm sure if
anyone would to look out the window and see me
like walking out of the house, I'm like waving my
arm in front of my face because I don't want
a spiderweb on my face. Okay, so I'm doing that
this morning. My normal routine to get to my car.
And as I step off our deck to get on

(01:04):
our driveway, there's a possum, this big fat possum that
was like the size of one of our corgies staring
at me. And I was like, I was like, oh no,
like verbally screaming like oh no. And I jumped back
on the deck and I'm like staring at it. It's
staring at me. I'm staring at it again, those beady

(01:24):
eyes staring at me, and they were like red, like
red eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh not a red idol possum.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
And it wasn't scared. It wasn't scared like I thought
it would like run away, but see me run away.
It wasn't scared. It was standing its ground and I
was quivering in absolute fear.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
What was he doing standing on business? Yeah? It was,
it was. It was.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
It did not want me to come to work. I
almost called off. So I was like, no, that's a
new one. I can't get to my car. I can't
get to my car.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I would allow I would. I wouldn't sympathize with you
if you were to say to me, I can't go outside.
There's an opossum holding the gossip. I would say to you, Jason,
please only it's fine, right, I'm scared of them too.
I don't I don't know that to me, they and
it might be very nice, I don't know, but the
way their faces are and they just look like a
like a rat that got sort of at that crazy tail.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Oh yeah, it was like bathing too fast. Yeh yeah.
So it like slowly starts like walking away. I'm like, okay, cool,
like it walks whatever. And I think it went under
like Mike's car. So I was like, okay, maybe I
can like run.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
For it, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
So I'm running me running, don't do that right, I'm like, okay,
molding your hand like yeah, I'm fighting off spider abbs,
I'm fighting off a passam. So I just like bull
for it, like full on sprint probably like I haven't
done since like Junior High. Just like sprinting down the driveway,
and as I'm passing the car, it peeks its little
head out. I was like, and I just like kept
running and got in my car like there was a

(02:42):
mass murderer like following me like it was wild.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Well, you know what the problem is is that opossum
want to have a chat with you, because what people,
If you've been listening to the show for a while,
you know that Jason, for whatever reason, gets his whole
morning routine going, and then before he leaves his home
at five o'clock in the morning, he peas in a
book in front of his home, and the opossum was like,
that's my house. You're peeing on my house. You have

(03:08):
and a bathroom. If you want to trade, we can,
but you don't need to peel on my house. That's
what Opossum was saying to you.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
They didn't even get to pee this morning, so I
had to pee when I got here.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh girl, little bosom scared you.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
I was terrified.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah, I think it's the tale that does it for me.
Those lies, man, Oh yeah, I don't mean to you know,
be mean to opossum. There's many of them listening. Well
they used to do, I guess. But waiting at the
phone from the vault next after hos here in three minutes,