Radio Blogs: Kaelin's Dog Poop Dilemma

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
These are radio free, like you're running in our diaries,
except we say them a loud. We call them blogs.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Kaylin, Yes, thank you, dear blog.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
So over the weekend I was very deep in thought
at how there are just some things that you do
for your child, your pet, your partner that you just
really could never believe you'll do, but you just do
it without thinking. So recently I have adopted a nine

(00:35):
year old little doggie named Willie.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
She is a border Collie Aussie.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
And it's my boyfriend's dog, which she has chosen me
for some reason, nine years into her life, to just
follow around and be obsessed with.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
She kind of wants to be in my skin.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
So we were walking downtown over the weekend and at
our apartment there is like a dog run with little
poopy bags.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Okay, so I.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Was planning on walking her back there, so I did
not have a poopy bag on me. We were in transit,
and she really is such a good dog. She doesn't
go anywhere she's not supposed to do nothing. But for
some reason on Friday, she decided on a busy street
corner in downtown Chicago that she was going to.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Take three big dumps. Right, Yeah, and Stepmommy didn't have
a poopy bag.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
And the last thing I need is for someone who
knows me to see me, or you know what I mean,
or somebody take.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
A vaa from the Fred Show that just left the
big dog poops just right there.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
I think of the bad press we would get.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
At this point. I would take any press.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
But yeah, okay, if I was someone who left three
big dumps on a sidewalk, so.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Especially if it were you celebrities, we had to go.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
So I looked over and I saw a napkin that
again don't know where this nap came from.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Just blowing away in the wind.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
I said, this is all I can do, and so
I grabbed the three giant turds with the napkin, and
I could feel the heat from the turds in my
hand for a mile while I tried to find a
damn trash can. And I'm literally walking saying, hot, Hi,
how are you? How are you with three big turds?
And I'm looking at her like, do you know how
lucky you are? I'm carrying your duty?

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Is that kind of amazing? That? Like that's our responsibility
for you know, ten to sixteen years have a long
they live hopefully twenty million lit years. But that's and
by the way, we get so much from dogs. We
don't deserve them so fine, but like we get to
pick up their crap their whole lives. Like, at least
for humans it's only like a few years, you know,
for dogs, it's their whole lives. I'm responsible for picking
up your crap for my whole life, right, for your

(02:47):
whole life.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, I was like, ma'am, I wouldn't know.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
You're right. I would do that for a dog. I
wouldn't do it for a human. I'm sorry. If one
of you pooped on the ground, I would not pick
it up and carry it anywhere. I would I'd be like,
I don't know that was Calin. I'd leave a little
sign even knows that was Kaylin. She works at one
on one point.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Another place. Yeah, I was saying radio station. Sure, no.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
And I know parents obviously like do this all the time.
They're sucking boogers out, you know, they're I mean, oh, yeah, the.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Stuff my sister does with her kids, Yeah, I mean,
like they'll just drop food or like it's like on
their face and she'll just take it and eat it
because it's just easier. Like what am I supposed to
do with it? So she'll just eat it. I'm like,
you know what I just was. But she made the kids,
so it's her. It's her mess, you know what I mean.
But I don't know you guys. Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
The booger sucking is my favorite thing out cool invention.
It's the Freda thank you Yes, Frida, like how you
she's on it? Freeda is on it. Yes, Like you
just put it up to their nose and you're like,
got all the boogies come out. But you know, imagine,
imagine how like relieving that you could see the relief
on their face too, when when the boogers are all gone,

(03:55):
shout out freedom boy, make Freda. I mean, you wipe
for Ashland stuff.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
You're right, You're right, the stuff that you'll do for
someone that you love.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Just the helpless little ones, you know, God damn.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
You're a good person. There's a scene in the show Billions,
Paul Giamatis say lessing is there's a scene where a
guy his dog poops on the ground and he stands
there and is like clean that up. And the guy's like,
I don't have anything to clean it up with that
I'm paraphrasing, but he's like, then pick it up, and
like he's just so forceful about it that the guy

(04:28):
actually threatens him in some way. The guy actually reaches down,
picks up the stuff and like finds a trash can.
But it's so disgusting.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
I almost did it. I almost.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
I mean a lot of people just leave it there.
So that's good for you, Yeah, I mean you're a
good citizen.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Oh thanks, yeah, thanks so much. Yeah, I'm gonna yack,
but thank you.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, Otherwise I would have I took a picture of
this whole thing. I happen to be in the neighborhood
and I watched the whole thing go down. I had
a bag, but no, I took a picture of it,
and I was going to post it myself if you
didn't care, canceled. Look at Kaylin from the Fred Show.
Look at her leaving that dooto on the ground like that,
stay her go his next Fred Show.