November 11, 2024 • 15 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Corner up a fresh show. It's K's court, all right.
The honorable is here, Your honor take it away.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
All right, let's get into the courtroom. This one says,
hey ki KEI. My name is Ashley. I've been dating
my boyfriend Kevin for five years now. He has two
little sons from a previous relationship that I love in
street like my own, but of course I've always wanted
a wedding in kids of my own. At our second
year of dating, he made a promise to me that
by year four we'd be married and expecting a baby.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
But year four is long and gone.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So a few months ago, I made the decision to
stop my birth control, and I'm now pregnant with our
first child. When I told him the news, he said,
I thought you went birth control. So that obviously crushed me,
but he accepted it and we worked through it. Fast
forward to our baby shower last weekend, where his mom
made a toast in front of all of our family
(00:56):
and guests and said, congratulations on trapping my son, and
then they had laughed. I was crushed. I can't believe
that he told his mother that I trapped him. I
am the one that's trapped in a five year relationship
with no commitment from her son. I cried in the
car about it and asked him to confront his mom
about her comment, but he still hasn't. So now I'm
(01:18):
avoiding all contact with his mother and I don't plan
on allowing her to see our son when I deliver.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Am I wrong? Ashley girl?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Judge, congratulations on the baby, But honey, I don't think
you need to be mad at his mother.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I think you should be mad with your man. I
feel like your anger is a.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Little bit displaced because you know he told her that
comment obviously, but that's truly how he feels. And another
thing is I am all for my body, my choice,
you know, as a woman. However, I don't think it's
right to stop your birth control without talking it over
with your.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Partner yet that I'm sorry. But if that's the agreed
upon method for preventing pregnancy and you just stop right,
then you I'm not going to use the word trap,
but you know what you're doing because you're not telling
the other person to use any preventative method, so you
know that the possibility of you getting pregnant it has
now is exponentially higher that's something that and you could argue, well,
(02:21):
you know, I mean a guy could take this method
of that method, not if he doesn't know, right. And again,
if you have an adult conversation and you sit down
and you say, hey, this is what we're gonna do,
we're gonna use this method of that method, and you
guys agree on that together, then one person cannot just
change it up right and not have that conversation. So
that again, I'm not gonna use the word trapped.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Well, but.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What else are you going to call a situation where
you stop doing something to prevent pregnancy and don't tell
the other person, who then doesn't stop doing anything either.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Right, And you can play devil advocate and say, you know,
he did promise her at year four they would be
married and expecting. It's now year five, he's made no
moves on the engagement and so had that conversation too. Well,
that's true, but she clearly took matters into her own hands,
and now they have a baby on the way, and
so actually, yeah, I don't think it's his mom's issue, honey.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I think you are wrong.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Sadly, and I know you're pregnant, so don't get emotional
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Well, and you can't just go get pregnant because the
person who you want to be more official with or
more you build more of a foundation with, hasn't proposed
to you. People try this thing. It's like, well, and
I'm not saying everyone does it on purpose, but it's like, uh, well,
now we have this kid together, so that you know,
(03:42):
now we're like god to right. Yeah, now, well we
may as well get married now because we you know,
we've taken one additional step to sort of I don't
know what the word is, I'm looking for, create a human. Well, well,
I just solidify this relationship, yeah, like in perpetuity for
But you guys are the jury eight five five five
nine three five What say you? Who's in the wrong here?
(04:06):
I'm gonna go with the dude needs to he probably
should have followed up on his promise. But I'm also
gonna go with she can't really act like a victim
in this situation because she knew exactly what she was
doing when she stopped taking birth control. What would be
the other I mean, I suppose you could argue, well,
she stopped taking birth control for some other health reason. Okay, well,
(04:27):
then have that conversation exactly. Whatever the reason is, had
that conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You have to share that with your partner. And she
mentioned in this in this letter that you know, she
feels like she's trapped in a relationship with no commitment. Honey,
you're not trapped. You can leave whenever you want. I know,
you may be attached to his other sons, you know,
his children, you may have a relationship with his family,
but you are not trapped.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Honey, you can leave.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, she ain't got the relationship with the family no more.
Oh man, Yeah, everybody's thinking it.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Oh yeah, everybody knows.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
That's what everybody And it's hard not to. It's hard
not to because again, if you guys, if you're having
a responsible physical relationship with someone and you had a
conversation about it, and then you know, if the rules changed,
then everyone needs to know. Otherwise, why does only one
person know?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, and this is how you end up with men
who leave the relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
And you know, he never wanted to.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Maybe he never wanted more kids with you, or he
never wanted wanted more keys.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
He didn't hear the promise he did say, we won't
get married and have kids.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Bruh, it's like a pinky promise.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I mean, I'm not again, I don't mean to. This
isn't all her fault by any means, but like, I
never understand why when things aren't going someone's way, it's like, well,
let's just throw a kid into this, fix it, right,
Like more stress, more responsibility, you know, in this particular case,
he could take the position that he was deceived. Again
when you know, when we're all being adults and we're
(05:59):
doing the sorts of things, this is the risk that
we take. But well we think the risk is one percent,
and now the risk is much higher and nobody told
me about that. Like, that's not fair either. Jessica, Hi,
good morning, Hi, good morning. Hey, what do you want
to say? Cord Hi everyone.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
By the way, I just wanted to say that technically speaking,
the mother in law shouldn't have said that, because I
feel like it was inappropriate. However, the lady and the
relationship isn't the wrong because, yes, although you may have
promised her that they're going to have a you know, kids,
and mayor being married by the fourth year. However, as
(06:39):
time progresses and a relationship sometimes things change, feelings change,
you know, and maybe he changed his mind, or maybe
he wants to wait a little bit longer and he's
just not ready, you know. Like I've said things in
my path, you know, and my post relationship that I
didn't feel I would have done by a certain time
that I promised, you know. So no, yeah, she should
(06:59):
have definitely.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah. I'm really not trying to put this all on
the woman because he didn't live up to his word.
But like, I don't know, it's hard to look at
this and say her response to this was to get
pregnant without telling him, essentially right, because again, if you
just for no other reason, but I'm just going to
get off birth control, to get off birth control and
not tell anybody you're trying to get pregnant, right, absolutely,
(07:24):
So maybe that kind of decision making is how we
got here. Again, I'm not blaming this all on her.
I'm just creating. I'm just presenting an alternative perspective here,
which is that isn't the best decision to make, no,
And so if you're making decisions like that all the time,
you know, it's a little bit deceptive. Oh yeah, it's
(07:45):
a lot deceptive actually, And I get it.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
As a woman, we have a clock that you all
don't have, you know, And she wanted kids. She wants
kids by a certain age, and she wants to start
her life. And maybe in her mind she's like, I'm
just gonna take matters into my own hands.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
But sis, which is so wrong. I know you can't.
You can't do that, like you but.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
We're on a clock, damn it, y'all need to help us.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
There's just there are so many layers. It's just so
many layers of deception, it is. But then she got
to do with all those consequences she started it. You
know what I'm saying, her mom saying that is wrong,
but I mean.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
It's the truth. It's the truth.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, you know, that's what they're all saying behind that
family group check gotta be wild too, all right, it's crazy.
I've heard of this sound the name before, to where
it's like, we're not gonna have kids, We're not gonna
have kids. When I gonna have kids. We decided this together,
We had the conversation. Not one person decided. We decided.
(08:40):
And then it comes up again and it's like, but
we decided, and then all of a sudden, there's a
kid yep, And it's like I hate, I hate to
do I hate to put blame on anybody. It's like
a I know it's not a problem solver, it's not.
No Adriana, Hi, good morning, good morning. Hey what do
you want to say? Kiki's scored.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Well, two things, as women, we know what we do
when we need lo and ber control.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So she knew the concept, Like she knew what she
was doing when she did that.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
And second of all, who knows if he, like I know,
he said four years that they'd be married and have kids.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Well, how does she.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Know, like there's no financial problems or something like that
that's going on that he.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Hasn't done that yet, right, Yeah, you know what I mean,
Like you have to.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Look at both.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Like she knew darn well what she was doing.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
She let's call it what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
She kind of does track them because you know, you
you you know what's going to happen when you get
rid of your first control.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah yeah, Adriana, thank you, have a good day, you too.
At someone texted seven O waight, she's holding him to
a promise that he made three years ago. She should
have had the discussion year four, not wait an extra
a year and bring the baby on him, she's wrong. Yeah,
I mean you know, I don't. I don't think you
hold someone to a promise by creating another human because again,
we got to think about the child's life here. What
(09:57):
if he's like, yo, I feel trapped. You didn't communicate
with this is here and I don't want anything to
do with you anymore. Well, now you're bringing a kid
into that. And again I'm not putting it all on her,
but it is one of those disproportionate things in relationships
where there isn't necessarily the same equivalent for men. Right,
Like I can I can use protection. There's a lot
(10:18):
of things I can do. I can get a vasectomy,
I can do all that, but like, there isn't a
pill for me to take. So if that's the method
that we decide we're going to use, then you're gonna
you gotta do it. Yeah, like and again, and if
I just say, like, you got to take the pill
because I don't know what I'm gonna do whatever I want,
well that no. I mean, if you sit down and
have an adult conversation, say here's the method that we're
going to use, and it's decided collectively that that's the method,
(10:39):
then you got to do it. And if you just stop,
well then I think I have every right to feel betrayed, right,
which doesn't negate him not following up on his stuff.
But I again, I come back to the same person
that's gonna just unilaterally stop taking birth control is the
same person's not getting proposed to. But you can't live
off of Probably that's like you're going on someone's word, like, oh,
(11:03):
in four years, it's gonna happen. Then we all get
lied to all the time. I promise my kid everything.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I never I've never followed through on any of it.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Through Hey La, hi guy, Hi, good morning. What do
you want to say? This is a very this is
a very messy one.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
I was gonna say that I feel like it is
definitely baby trapping because I know it's mean to her.
But I feel like there was a conversation that had
to be had between the both of them. If he
did promise in four years that they were gonna get
married or whatever was going to happen. I feel like
he had she had to speak to him and be like, Okay,
you're not pulling up in your promise. I'm either going
to leave you or you know, we need to have
(11:48):
a conversation. But this was This was not the way
she had to take things like this is. Honestly, I
don't get long term consequences as well, because if she's
going to do this, let's say he's okay with it,
but at a certain paitna, he might get like resentment
towards the child or even more.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
You know, I just feel like this was a whole wrong.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Situation like this is now where she had to take
I'll never understand when people throw a child into an
already tumultuous situation. It's like that is very unlikely to
bring you together permanently. It is likely to cause more
stress and more resentment and more confusion.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
The key right right.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
The kid has nothing to say about it. Thank you, Lava.
Have a good day, Tito. What's up, Tito? How you doing?
Hey man? How do I even recap this? Kiky scort?
So this woman uh waiting for Yeah, was waiting for
a ring. It's been four years. The dude said it
would take two. That wouldn't happen, And all of a sudden,
(12:49):
now she's pregnant because she decided without telling him to
pull birth control. And now his family is accusing her
of trapping him. She's still not engaged, and everybody seems
a little confused here, And I guess I think she
kind of opened herself up to this criticism. To be
really honest, what do you think?
Speaker 6 (13:05):
I just think that he's just trying to keep her around.
If he was really committed, they would have done something
like I don't know, it's just that that's what it
sounds like to me. He's broken promises, you know. She
he keeps telling her, uh, you know, one more year,
one more year, and then the year never comes and
he's not committed. He's not fully committed.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Right, so have a baby. Yeah right, let's throw a
kid into this. Thank you? See though, Hey Nicole, how
you doing.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
I'm good?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Hey, Nicole? Good morning, Welcome to the Friend Show. What
do you want to say?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I wanted to say, what if the roles were reversed
and he agreed to have a family, but he had
secretly had of a sephony.
Speaker 6 (13:45):
That's not fair.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
One person doesn't get to choose family planning, no matter
what we promised.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, So, yeah that would be
but he didn't do that. But yeah, you're right, that
would be no different. Is a dude, you know, saying
I'm just going to go handle this and I tell
you about it, and now the decision has been made.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Sorry, because I feel like sometimes maybe as a I'm
trying to defend her a little bit, but like as
a woman, maybe she thought like, well, I'm the one
that has to carry the baby, and you know, I'm
the one that's going to take care of the baby
majority and I'm the one in the relationship. So maybe
she thought like, I can make this decision on my own.
But it's not right.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You can't. You cannot. Again you want to raise the
child on her, I'm saying I cannot change the rules.
And then again, if a dude, and thank you, Nicole,
have a great day. I'm glad you called.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
I'm just trying to show a little compass.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Yeah, it is wild.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
The dude is just ignorant and he's like there's no
conversation and he's doing whatever he wants and he's not
being considerate of you, and it's kind of like your
problem kind of thing. Well, then you know, I shame
on you, and accidents happened. But if you again, I've
said it like ten times. If you guys are going
to say, like in a very adult, mature way, hey,
here's what we're doing, and then all of a sudden
(14:58):
you just don't do it anymore, then I think you're
opening yourself up to people being like, damn, what what
was your motivation here? Because what it? What else could
it be?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Right?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
If it's a health thing, like I don't know, I
don't like taking a pill, and or I don't like
the IUD whatever it is, and then again that's one thing.
But then you got to tell your partner. You got
to say, hey, look, I don't like the way I
feel on this stuff. I'm not going to take it.
Heads up, you know, don't be out of here shooting
up the club, right, don't you doing your thing? Because
it might work, But when you don't tell anybody, yeah,
(15:29):
I don't, I don't like it. I don't like it.
Kicking the Entertainer Report trending story is in fun fact
all next, the French Show is back in two minutes
Corner up a fresh show. It's K's court, all right.
The honorable is here, Your honor take it away.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
All right, let's get into the courtroom. This one says,
hey ki KEI. My name is Ashley. I've been dating
my boyfriend Kevin for five years now. He has two
little sons from a previous relationship that I love in
street like my own, but of course I've always wanted
a wedding in kids of my own. At our second
year of dating, he made a promise to me that
by year four we'd be married and expecting a baby.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
But year four is long and gone.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So a few months ago, I made the decision to
stop my birth control, and I'm now pregnant with our
first child. When I told him the news, he said,
I thought you went birth control. So that obviously crushed me,
but he accepted it and we worked through it. Fast
forward to our baby shower last weekend, where his mom
made a toast in front of all of our family
(00:56):
and guests and said, congratulations on trapping my son, and
then they had laughed. I was crushed. I can't believe
that he told his mother that I trapped him. I
am the one that's trapped in a five year relationship
with no commitment from her son. I cried in the
car about it and asked him to confront his mom
about her comment, but he still hasn't. So now I'm
(01:18):
avoiding all contact with his mother and I don't plan
on allowing her to see our son when I deliver.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Am I wrong? Ashley girl?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Judge, congratulations on the baby, But honey, I don't think
you need to be mad at his mother.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
I think you should be mad with your man. I
feel like your anger is a.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Little bit displaced because you know he told her that
comment obviously, but that's truly how he feels. And another
thing is I am all for my body, my choice,
you know, as a woman. However, I don't think it's
right to stop your birth control without talking it over
with your.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Partner yet that I'm sorry. But if that's the agreed
upon method for preventing pregnancy and you just stop right,
then you I'm not going to use the word trap,
but you know what you're doing because you're not telling
the other person to use any preventative method, so you
know that the possibility of you getting pregnant it has
now is exponentially higher that's something that and you could argue, well,
(02:21):
you know, I mean a guy could take this method
of that method, not if he doesn't know, right. And again,
if you have an adult conversation and you sit down
and you say, hey, this is what we're gonna do,
we're gonna use this method of that method, and you
guys agree on that together, then one person cannot just
change it up right and not have that conversation. So
that again, I'm not gonna use the word trapped.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Well, but.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What else are you going to call a situation where
you stop doing something to prevent pregnancy and don't tell
the other person, who then doesn't stop doing anything either.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Right, And you can play devil advocate and say, you know,
he did promise her at year four they would be
married and expecting. It's now year five, he's made no
moves on the engagement and so had that conversation too. Well,
that's true, but she clearly took matters into her own hands,
and now they have a baby on the way, and
so actually, yeah, I don't think it's his mom's issue, honey.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I think you are wrong.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Sadly, and I know you're pregnant, so don't get emotional
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Well, and you can't just go get pregnant because the
person who you want to be more official with or
more you build more of a foundation with, hasn't proposed
to you. People try this thing. It's like, well, and
I'm not saying everyone does it on purpose, but it's like, uh, well,
now we have this kid together, so that you know,
(03:42):
now we're like god to right. Yeah, now, well we
may as well get married now because we you know,
we've taken one additional step to sort of I don't
know what the word is, I'm looking for, create a human. Well, well,
I just solidify this relationship, yeah, like in perpetuity for
But you guys are the jury eight five five five
nine three five What say you? Who's in the wrong here?
(04:06):
I'm gonna go with the dude needs to he probably
should have followed up on his promise. But I'm also
gonna go with she can't really act like a victim
in this situation because she knew exactly what she was
doing when she stopped taking birth control. What would be
the other I mean, I suppose you could argue, well,
she stopped taking birth control for some other health reason. Okay, well,
(04:27):
then have that conversation exactly. Whatever the reason is, had
that conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You have to share that with your partner. And she
mentioned in this in this letter that you know, she
feels like she's trapped in a relationship with no commitment. Honey,
you're not trapped. You can leave whenever you want. I know,
you may be attached to his other sons, you know,
his children, you may have a relationship with his family,
but you are not trapped.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Honey, you can leave.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, she ain't got the relationship with the family no more.
Oh man, Yeah, everybody's thinking it.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Oh yeah, everybody knows.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
That's what everybody And it's hard not to. It's hard
not to because again, if you guys, if you're having
a responsible physical relationship with someone and you had a
conversation about it, and then you know, if the rules changed,
then everyone needs to know. Otherwise, why does only one
person know?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, and this is how you end up with men
who leave the relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
And you know, he never wanted to.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Maybe he never wanted more kids with you, or he
never wanted wanted more keys.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
He didn't hear the promise he did say, we won't
get married and have kids.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Bruh, it's like a pinky promise.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I mean, I'm not again, I don't mean to. This
isn't all her fault by any means, but like, I
never understand why when things aren't going someone's way, it's like, well,
let's just throw a kid into this, fix it, right,
Like more stress, more responsibility, you know, in this particular case,
he could take the position that he was deceived. Again
when you know, when we're all being adults and we're
(05:59):
doing the sorts of things, this is the risk that
we take. But well we think the risk is one percent,
and now the risk is much higher and nobody told
me about that. Like, that's not fair either. Jessica, Hi,
good morning, Hi, good morning. Hey, what do you want
to say? Cord Hi everyone.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
By the way, I just wanted to say that technically speaking,
the mother in law shouldn't have said that, because I
feel like it was inappropriate. However, the lady and the
relationship isn't the wrong because, yes, although you may have
promised her that they're going to have a you know, kids,
and mayor being married by the fourth year. However, as
(06:39):
time progresses and a relationship sometimes things change, feelings change,
you know, and maybe he changed his mind, or maybe
he wants to wait a little bit longer and he's
just not ready, you know. Like I've said things in
my path, you know, and my post relationship that I
didn't feel I would have done by a certain time
that I promised, you know. So no, yeah, she should
(06:59):
have definitely.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah. I'm really not trying to put this all on
the woman because he didn't live up to his word.
But like, I don't know, it's hard to look at
this and say her response to this was to get
pregnant without telling him, essentially right, because again, if you
just for no other reason, but I'm just going to
get off birth control, to get off birth control and
not tell anybody you're trying to get pregnant, right, absolutely,
(07:24):
So maybe that kind of decision making is how we
got here. Again, I'm not blaming this all on her.
I'm just creating. I'm just presenting an alternative perspective here,
which is that isn't the best decision to make, no,
And so if you're making decisions like that all the time,
you know, it's a little bit deceptive. Oh yeah, it's
(07:45):
a lot deceptive actually, And I get it.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
As a woman, we have a clock that you all
don't have, you know, And she wanted kids. She wants
kids by a certain age, and she wants to start
her life. And maybe in her mind she's like, I'm
just gonna take matters into my own hands.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
But sis, which is so wrong. I know you can't.
You can't do that, like you but.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
We're on a clock, damn it, y'all need to help us.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
There's just there are so many layers. It's just so
many layers of deception, it is. But then she got
to do with all those consequences she started it. You
know what I'm saying, her mom saying that is wrong,
but I mean.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
It's the truth. It's the truth.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, you know, that's what they're all saying behind that
family group check gotta be wild too, all right, it's crazy.
I've heard of this sound the name before, to where
it's like, we're not gonna have kids, We're not gonna
have kids. When I gonna have kids. We decided this together,
We had the conversation. Not one person decided. We decided.
(08:40):
And then it comes up again and it's like, but
we decided, and then all of a sudden, there's a
kid yep, And it's like I hate, I hate to
do I hate to put blame on anybody. It's like
a I know it's not a problem solver, it's not.
No Adriana, Hi, good morning, good morning. Hey what do
you want to say? Kiki's scored.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Well, two things, as women, we know what we do
when we need lo and ber control.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So she knew the concept, Like she knew what she
was doing when she did that.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
And second of all, who knows if he, like I know,
he said four years that they'd be married and have kids.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Well, how does she.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Know, like there's no financial problems or something like that
that's going on that he.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Hasn't done that yet, right, Yeah, you know what I mean,
Like you have to.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Look at both.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Like she knew darn well what she was doing.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
She let's call it what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
She kind of does track them because you know, you
you you know what's going to happen when you get
rid of your first control.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah yeah, Adriana, thank you, have a good day, you too.
At someone texted seven O waight, she's holding him to
a promise that he made three years ago. She should
have had the discussion year four, not wait an extra
a year and bring the baby on him, she's wrong. Yeah,
I mean you know, I don't. I don't think you
hold someone to a promise by creating another human because again,
we got to think about the child's life here. What
(09:57):
if he's like, yo, I feel trapped. You didn't communicate
with this is here and I don't want anything to
do with you anymore. Well, now you're bringing a kid
into that. And again I'm not putting it all on her,
but it is one of those disproportionate things in relationships
where there isn't necessarily the same equivalent for men. Right,
Like I can I can use protection. There's a lot
(10:18):
of things I can do. I can get a vasectomy,
I can do all that, but like, there isn't a
pill for me to take. So if that's the method
that we decide we're going to use, then you're gonna
you gotta do it. Yeah, like and again, and if
I just say, like, you got to take the pill
because I don't know what I'm gonna do whatever I want,
well that no. I mean, if you sit down and
have an adult conversation, say here's the method that we're
going to use, and it's decided collectively that that's the method,
(10:39):
then you got to do it. And if you just stop,
well then I think I have every right to feel betrayed, right,
which doesn't negate him not following up on his stuff.
But I again, I come back to the same person
that's gonna just unilaterally stop taking birth control is the
same person's not getting proposed to. But you can't live
off of Probably that's like you're going on someone's word, like, oh,
(11:03):
in four years, it's gonna happen. Then we all get
lied to all the time. I promise my kid everything.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I never I've never followed through on any of it.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Through Hey La, hi guy, Hi, good morning. What do
you want to say? This is a very this is
a very messy one.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
I was gonna say that I feel like it is
definitely baby trapping because I know it's mean to her.
But I feel like there was a conversation that had
to be had between the both of them. If he
did promise in four years that they were gonna get
married or whatever was going to happen. I feel like
he had she had to speak to him and be like, Okay,
you're not pulling up in your promise. I'm either going
to leave you or you know, we need to have
(11:48):
a conversation. But this was This was not the way
she had to take things like this is. Honestly, I
don't get long term consequences as well, because if she's
going to do this, let's say he's okay with it,
but at a certain paitna, he might get like resentment
towards the child or even more.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
You know, I just feel like this was a whole wrong.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Situation like this is now where she had to take
I'll never understand when people throw a child into an
already tumultuous situation. It's like that is very unlikely to
bring you together permanently. It is likely to cause more
stress and more resentment and more confusion.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
The key right right.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
The kid has nothing to say about it. Thank you, Lava.
Have a good day, Tito. What's up, Tito? How you doing?
Hey man? How do I even recap this? Kiky scort?
So this woman uh waiting for Yeah, was waiting for
a ring. It's been four years. The dude said it
would take two. That wouldn't happen, And all of a sudden,
(12:49):
now she's pregnant because she decided without telling him to
pull birth control. And now his family is accusing her
of trapping him. She's still not engaged, and everybody seems
a little confused here, And I guess I think she
kind of opened herself up to this criticism. To be
really honest, what do you think?
Speaker 6 (13:05):
I just think that he's just trying to keep her around.
If he was really committed, they would have done something
like I don't know, it's just that that's what it
sounds like to me. He's broken promises, you know. She
he keeps telling her, uh, you know, one more year,
one more year, and then the year never comes and
he's not committed. He's not fully committed.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Right, so have a baby. Yeah right, let's throw a
kid into this. Thank you? See though, Hey Nicole, how
you doing.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
I'm good?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Hey, Nicole? Good morning, Welcome to the Friend Show. What
do you want to say?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I wanted to say, what if the roles were reversed
and he agreed to have a family, but he had
secretly had of a sephony.
Speaker 6 (13:45):
That's not fair.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
One person doesn't get to choose family planning, no matter
what we promised.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, So, yeah that would be
but he didn't do that. But yeah, you're right, that
would be no different. Is a dude, you know, saying
I'm just going to go handle this and I tell
you about it, and now the decision has been made.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Sorry, because I feel like sometimes maybe as a I'm
trying to defend her a little bit, but like as
a woman, maybe she thought like, well, I'm the one
that has to carry the baby, and you know, I'm
the one that's going to take care of the baby
majority and I'm the one in the relationship. So maybe
she thought like, I can make this decision on my own.
But it's not right.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You can't. You cannot. Again you want to raise the
child on her, I'm saying I cannot change the rules.
And then again, if a dude, and thank you, Nicole,
have a great day. I'm glad you called.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
I'm just trying to show a little compass.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Yeah, it is wild.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
The dude is just ignorant and he's like there's no
conversation and he's doing whatever he wants and he's not
being considerate of you, and it's kind of like your
problem kind of thing. Well, then you know, I shame
on you, and accidents happened. But if you again, I've
said it like ten times. If you guys are going
to say, like in a very adult, mature way, hey,
here's what we're doing, and then all of a sudden
(14:58):
you just don't do it anymore, then I think you're
opening yourself up to people being like, damn, what what
was your motivation here? Because what it? What else could
it be?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Right?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
If it's a health thing, like I don't know, I
don't like taking a pill, and or I don't like
the IUD whatever it is, and then again that's one thing.
But then you got to tell your partner. You got
to say, hey, look, I don't like the way I
feel on this stuff. I'm not going to take it.
Heads up, you know, don't be out of here shooting
up the club, right, don't you doing your thing? Because
it might work, But when you don't tell anybody, yeah,
(15:29):
I don't, I don't like it. I don't like it.
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