November 18, 2024 • 18 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's a fresh show.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, the honorable is here, Judge Kiki, Hey take
it away.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Let's get into this court. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I don't know how like high quality this for is.
So be careful banging on it.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Oh, this is very highsout you bang it on.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I have to think. I can't see. I'm just I'm
worried about.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Our It's an official setup over here. Okay, look in
the courtroom. All right, all right, now it says my
name is Deanna. My husband left me for my kids
dance instructor. We've been divorced a year now, and he's
already engaged to said dance instructor.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Clearly they were cheating while we were married.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
So this has obviously been a hard transition for my daughters,
but thankfully both my family and my ex husband's family
have been really supportive until last week. Every year, my
in laws hosts a big family photo shoot for the
annual holiday card. I wasn't sure how this year was
gonna go, but thankfully my in law still invited me
(01:06):
to be a part of the photo well. To my surprise,
when I arrived with my daughters for the photos, my
ex and his new fiance were also there. I was devastated,
but tried to hold it together for my kids. However,
when we started taking separate family photos, the photographer instructed
the parents to join the photo with their kids. When
(01:26):
I stepped into the photo, so did my ex and
his fiance.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
At that moment, I lost it.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
I burst into tears in front of everyone and immediately grabbed.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
My kids and left.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
My sister in law sent me a very long text
saying that I should apologize to everyone for overreacting, but
I feel like I was set up and no one
cared about how this whole thing would affect me. His
fiance should not even be there. She is not his
wife yet, Am I wrong? Judge Kikiana Deanna? Breakups are hard.
(01:57):
Divorces I can imagine are even harder, especially when you
have children. But you are responsible for your own triggers, okay,
and it was a nice gesture that his family invited
you to be a part of the photo. However, you
are responsible for your triggers. You had to You should
have processed that in your mind, what it would have
(02:18):
been like for you to go to that photo shoot
and be a part of that photo with his new
fiance or even if the fiance wasn't there, how would
you have felt being in.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
The photo with him?
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yeah, you know, you guys have gone through a divorce,
you have two kids together. Obviously there's a lot of
hurt there. It's only been one year. But his family
is not responsible for your triggers. As it relates to
your divorce. You have to be responsible for that. And
if you weren't strong, you felt you weren't going to
be strong enough to be in the same room with
that woman, let alone her. I mean, I can't imagine
(02:49):
me stepping in a photo with my kids and then
the dance instructed has been cheating with my husband steps
forward too, Like I probably would have started swinging.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But she be a picture with the kids though she
had not do with the kids. Well, the that's her
husband's family.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
That's her fiance. Now the ex husband is now engaged
to the dance instructor. So she when they said parents
step into the photo with the kids, him and the
fiance stepped right up along.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
With this poor woman.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
So, Deanna, I know how it must have felt, girl,
but you are responsible for that, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
The mother of the children, of the grandkids, and the
nieces and the nephews and whatever. Doesn't she get if
she's a decent person, especially if she was wronged. Was
there really like and I'm sorry if I missed this part,
she really cheated?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
She said, Well, he really cheated with the dances.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, I mean doesn't that woman get some sort of
elevated status in the family. Yes, because she's the mother
of the grandkids, nieces and nephetw So, like, wouldn't other
people in the family want to protect her interest above
and beyond the new fiance. Like, I'm not saying it's fair,
but because in this scenario, she's the mother of the children,
we got it.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
We gotta look out for her absolutely, and I think
that's why they extended the invite to include her into
the photo.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, but it's not her family, that's that's her ex
husband's family.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So well, it's her family now, because again, if you
want access to the grandkids, you got to go through her.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Like for me, if if I was in that situation,
I would have like, just let the kids be in
the photos. I would have been like, here, I'll bring
the children. You be in the photo with your dad
and whatever you want to do. I'm not going to
be in these photos. I'm not part of your family anymore,
does you know, just because like I'm the parent of
your grandkids, like I would.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Put my kids is part of the family still, like
you can't, you don't get here. As long as there
are kids involved. Then in a healthy situation, then she
may not be with the son anymore. But you don't
just exclude her or make her feel bad, because again,
she is the gateway, part of the gateway to the grandkids.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
And she can politely decline if she didn't want to
do it.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
If my brother in law and my sister break up,
and it's just because God forbid, and it's just because
they just decided to go their separate ways amicably, and
they're both you know, co parenting and doing a great job.
That dude is still a member of our family. He's
still we still have to be.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Kind to you. You're gonna if Amanda has a new fiance, yeah, boy,
are you like then?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I mean, I don't know, but it's it's she He's
still the father of my nieces and of the grandkids.
And again, if he screws up, then he isn't even
getting invited to this right right, So that there's that,
but like, we gotta respect his role in this, Like
he's fifty percent of these kids.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
And I think the family is respecting her. I think
they are trying to show her love. However, it is
not the family's responsibility to monitor your triggers. You were
triggered by seeing your ex with that woman, you were
triggered by seeing that woman step into your family photo.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
But it's not on the family. You know.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
They just extended the invite because they still love you,
still care for you.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
But they can't, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And you guys are the jury, by the way, Well,
I guess we are too. Eight five five, nine, one
one three five. Yeah, somebody texted this, and I agree.
I think the fiance probably should have just stayed out
of it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
That's what I think. I agree.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I think should have been like you know what, I'm not.
I'm not yet officially part of this unit. I have
nothing to do with these kids, right, I have nothing
to do with you know, the grandparents and the rest
of it. So I don't need to be in these
pictures yet, Like, let me immerse myself with this group,
because I again, I think the mother in this case
has elevated status.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I do she should have it.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
But if her husband or ex husband isn't willing to
put her in that, you know what I'm saying, Like,
he's not protecting her as his ex wife and the
mother of his children. He's inviting this new woman into
the picture without taking into consideration his ex wife's feelings.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
But that's why he's an ex girl, you know you
But he has.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
That right to bring the fiance into the photos, you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
That's it doesn't feel good though, I wouldn't like him.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Right, she's current though, you know what I'm saying, Like,
so his ex wife, we're acting like the mother of
the kids is dead. And the other thing is it
just happened.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
It happens a lot in families. But it sounds like
this woman was also wronged. She was, she was so
that if I'm the grandparents here planning this photo shoot,
my son act a full acted a fool. Yeah, And
and I mean, I'm always gonna pick my I'm always
gonna pick my kid. I'm always gonna pick my sister
in this case. But if she especially if she messed
(07:07):
around to something bad to Colin, I'm gonna probably be
pretty careful with how he feels about all this because
he didn't do anything. Hypothetically, this woman didn't do anything,
Why does she deserve to bring her kids and then
feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Well, you always like the mom like whatever the ex
husband's mind. They're always gonna pick family over anything like
That's why I don't. We're saying a situation, Fred, like
if if your sister and Colin were to break up,
like you're still gonna hang out with this man, You're
gonna go against.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
Your sister and be like, yo, I'm stinge fen of Colin.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I told you that I gave you the parameters, like
if they if they just part ways amicably say hey,
you know what, it isn't for us anymore. We still
love each other, you know, we're consciously uncoupling, and we're
gonna co parents, gonna be healthy. Then I think the
healthiest thing to do is not to alienate the kid's
father because he didn't do anything. Now, if he goes
and screws around, now I will say this, Let's say
(07:59):
he again. I hate using my own family, but let's
let's say he does something crappy. Let's say he cheats
or whatever. Now I'm gonna kill him, so he'll be
dead so it won't matter. But let's say I don't
kill him. I'm oh god, it would take everything I have,
but I would have to in situations where the girls
were around and he was around, I would have to
(08:21):
do my very best not to disrespect him in front
of them because they didn't do anything wrong. So the
bottom line is the adults seemed to adult here and
they weren't.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
But in Kiki's offense, you gotta know your triggers. You
gotta know that's gonna make that's gonna piss you off.
Then then don't don't jump in that photo. Just step
back and let your ex husband have a photo with
the Beyonce and your kids. Like you got invited, you
did the family photo, but you got to know that
that situation in your head was gonna come up at
some point because you've done this family photo so many years.
(08:52):
They have a family, You do a picture with your
kids and your husband, like, you have to know that's
gonna happen and you have to be strong in that situation.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I will say this, and I've been in this, not
not personally, but I've been privy to this situation where
it almost becomes problematic when you've got somebody who makes
creates life with another person and then that doesn't work anymore.
But the family is sort of ingratiated with that person,
and that's the mother of the grandkids. And then you
(09:22):
bring in a new person, and in a lot of cases,
that other new person feels less than yeah, because they
didn't make the kid, and the person who made the
kid gets more respect because well, that's the mother of
the kids, and we respect we love the kids, and
we want the kids, and you know what I'm saying.
So I guess I can see over compensating for the
new member. But y'all messed around. Supposedly they not only
(09:43):
that they were cheating.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Right, and she was the kid's dance instructor.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So if I'm that woman, I don't want I'm I'm
not even gonna be involved with this photo shoot.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
I don't know what I'm saying. I feel like she
should have just stayed stayed out of it.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You know, I think I agree. I agree. Hey, Sherry,
good morning, good morning.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
How's it going with you, Fred?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, I mean, that's that's the place to be, honestly,
but yeah, that's you're a very intelligent person.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
I moved.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
I moved here twenty five years ago, Indiana, from California,
and my husband ended up having like an emotional affair
with my best friend, which I didn't realize. I trusted
both of them until all my other friends started telling me,
you're blind, and so we ended up breaking up, and
(10:38):
I moved out and my mother in law married for
nineteen years.
Speaker 7 (10:43):
Let me tell you, nineteen years, three kids. My mother
in law, who I was a very good daughter in
law too, and my kids are her only grandkids, comes
out to visit from Napa Valley, and I'm out of
the house, the house that my name is still on
the indeed, and we've only been broken up a couple months,
not even in divorce proceedings. And I go there to
(11:06):
bring something to my.
Speaker 8 (11:09):
Girls, and that chick is car is in my driveway.
I don't live there anymore, but still that's my house
and my mother in law is there, and I pull
up and they're all in the car together, my husband,
my mother in law, this chick, and my kid in
(11:31):
the backseat. And I loved what you said, Kiki about triggers,
but I didn't realize I was going to come upon
this situation and I blew it.
Speaker 7 (11:44):
But I loved what you were saying about Trigger's Kiki,
because I did do a lot in that time period
of my life. It was a horrible time for me.
This is thirteen years ago now, but I.
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Blew up and I made all my kids get out
of the car, and I looked like a crazy lady.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I do think Sherry Shary, with all the respect, I
do think it's a little bit. It's a little different
than the situation you're describing here because I mean, and
I'm not saying that it hurt any less, but in theory,
they were doing their own thing on their time, right.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
They didn't.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
They didn't invite you to be part of something and
then include the side piece.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Like it correct.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I get the fact that when people get divorced, each
party has a right to move on, and each party
is going to move on, and I get that that
can cause problems. My favorite is when somebody breaks up
with someone else and then and I know this one
all too well, and then the person who did the
breaking up and did all the nefarious, mean bad stuff
now has a problem with the person who they did
(12:40):
it to moving on. It's like, oh no, Oh you
want to Oh you want to meet another man. Oh
you want to marry another guy. Oh you wanted that
got to be around our kids? Oh no, I have
a problem with that. Well then why were you cheating?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
You know what I mean? Like you could You didn't
have to do any of this.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So I see both sides of your situation, Sherry, But
I got to move on to the next person. Thank
you for calling. Yeah, yeah, have a good day. Now
see that. I would imagine that's very hurtful. But in
this case, she walked up on them and they're all
trying to create their own unit now over here. But
if they had invited her to a picnic and then
alienated her, that's what this situation sounds like.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
But the family didn't alienate her.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
The family invited her because they love her and they
respect her, and they want her to be included.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
They can't control their son's new situation. Is it Katherine?
Speaker 9 (13:26):
It's Catherine.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I've never seen Catherine spell that way in my life.
Bellahamine k A H R E E N. She was confused,
that's okay, anyway, you know, I'm often confused.
Speaker 9 (13:42):
I have been divorced one here. I completely disagree with you. Fred,
I'm sorry, but I.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Saw I know. Go ahead, though, what do you want
to say?
Speaker 9 (14:01):
Do you hear me?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yes? But Noia, we can hear you. What was your
what'd you want.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
To hurry up?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Sorry?
Speaker 9 (14:06):
Sorry? So, Britt, I just disagree with you. I think
what's going to divorce your divorcing from the family. I
think it was really nice that if they invited her,
But if I was her, I would not go because
I mean, he's engaged. It's not like their boyfriend and
girlfriend like she's going to be in the pictures. They're
going to be pro family. I don't think that the
ex wife should be in the pictures.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Heesaid they should. I disagree with you that she's not
part of the family. But what I would say is
then just they drop the kids off, we're doing a
photo shoot, and and then you don't come in like
you're not you know what I mean, because it doesn't
involve you anymore. If you're going to involve her in something,
then don't rub it in her face.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But then no one is rubbing anything hit her face.
Why does she need to be there?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
She's the accent she was cheated on and now you're
bringing her and the kids into a situation where she's
going to be uncomfortable. You have to respect the fact
this is the mother of the children.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
But had I not given her the invite or the
option to come, then you would say she's there aliena right.
They're just respecting her, so they gave her the option.
It's just I can't control what's gonna make you.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Upset that day.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But Kiki as the as the father of the children,
he has he's entitled to his own time without her.
They should have done that on their time and not
on time where she was there. She didn't need to
beet that. It's weird. Why is the mother and the
and the side piece in the same picture. That doesn't
make any doesn't need to happen like that, Like there's.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
No like you have you you said it for like
everyone has.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
To be an adult.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
She had to be an adult in that situation, Like
you know that situation was gonna come up. Just if
you don't want to be comfortable taking that photo, then
don't take that photo. But the invite was there. You
took the family photo well, and and then and then yeah,
that's their family dynamic now and that's what Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I live with Kathleen, thank you have a good day.
Not Katherine. I don't know her.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
I don't know her.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
But like Caitlyn, you've been in this you live this life,
and so have I. When my parents got divorced, you know,
each party tried to develop their own new life. Yeah,
nobody was being invited for pictures that overlapped, you know,
like my family picture with my stepdad, adopted dad and
my mom and my sister did not include my father
(16:10):
in one of his many side pieces, like it just didn't.
And then when he wanted to go do his own
thing and like tried to force a family with his
side piece and all her kids. Then then my mom
wasn't invited into that, you know, like it was. It
was completely separate. But if you're going to bring them
all together, especially if there was infidelity, that's just cruel.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
So you say, don't invite the family, should not have
invited the ex wife at all.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
If she's if you're not going to consider her a
part of the family and you're not going to respect
her needs, then drop the kids off.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
They did not.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
They invited the photo bread When I'm saying don't so
then that would have been the alienating part, is what
you're saying.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
They weren't alienating her at all.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They ruvil You're just arguing. My point is that she
doesn't need to be a part of it. There's two
separate units. I don't know why you're trying to put
them together.
Speaker 5 (17:00):
But if they don't invite her, then that's the alienating part.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
They don't have to invite her. They're allowed to have
their own family unit over here. That has nothing to
do with it. It's the overlap that's the problem.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
You're saying they're not considering her family. They did consider
family because they invited her. Yes, so she's still part
of the family. She just couldn't handle the trigger of
the photo.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
But she didn't like That's the thing he's just saying, basically,
like that, it's not alienation or if they didn't.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Invite her, they still love and respect her, But she
didn't have to be a part of this little rob.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
She doesn't have to be a part of their family picture. Correct.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
That's on her to decline the invite, not at all.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Guys, what if they didn't invite her?
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Right the next thing you know, she sees a family
photo of her kids in this woman, her.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Husband, she has say she has no control over that.
It sucks, but she has no control over that. The
same way that if she has a boyfriend or a
new husband, and and she wants to take family pictures
with with the kids that aren't his in it, I
mean that then he has to deal with that.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
May issue is I don't know why she was there.
I don't know why she was there.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Family still loves her, Okay, but in this particular case,
in this particular case, this one instance, she didn't need
to be there.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
It could have been on their time.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
And then so we agree because I said, she should
have just said if she wasn't gonna be able to
handle being in that room with all of those people,
she should have said no to the invite.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I guess so maybe, okay, we're saying the same thing.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I guess that A Sorry, Dianne, I'm sorry this happened
to you girls. It really is horrible. I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Breaking up with families is hard. After I break up,
if you really love your in laws, is very hard.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Don't try and force a family unit out of your
son and his and the woman he cheated with and
the mother of your grandkids. If you have any respect
for your grandkids, then you wouldn't have even put her
in that position to begin with. Okay, so there the
entertainment report. We'll do it next after Dojakat. In two minutes,
the friend shows on
It's a fresh show.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, the honorable is here, Judge Kiki, Hey take
it away.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Let's get into this court. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I don't know how like high quality this for is.
So be careful banging on it.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Oh, this is very highsout you bang it on.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I have to think. I can't see. I'm just I'm
worried about.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Our It's an official setup over here. Okay, look in
the courtroom. All right, all right, now it says my
name is Deanna. My husband left me for my kids
dance instructor. We've been divorced a year now, and he's
already engaged to said dance instructor.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Clearly they were cheating while we were married.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
So this has obviously been a hard transition for my daughters,
but thankfully both my family and my ex husband's family
have been really supportive until last week. Every year, my
in laws hosts a big family photo shoot for the
annual holiday card. I wasn't sure how this year was
gonna go, but thankfully my in law still invited me
(01:06):
to be a part of the photo well. To my surprise,
when I arrived with my daughters for the photos, my
ex and his new fiance were also there. I was devastated,
but tried to hold it together for my kids. However,
when we started taking separate family photos, the photographer instructed
the parents to join the photo with their kids. When
(01:26):
I stepped into the photo, so did my ex and
his fiance.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
At that moment, I lost it.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
I burst into tears in front of everyone and immediately grabbed.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
My kids and left.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
My sister in law sent me a very long text
saying that I should apologize to everyone for overreacting, but
I feel like I was set up and no one
cared about how this whole thing would affect me. His
fiance should not even be there. She is not his
wife yet, Am I wrong? Judge Kikiana Deanna? Breakups are hard.
(01:57):
Divorces I can imagine are even harder, especially when you
have children. But you are responsible for your own triggers, okay,
and it was a nice gesture that his family invited
you to be a part of the photo. However, you
are responsible for your triggers. You had to You should
have processed that in your mind, what it would have
(02:18):
been like for you to go to that photo shoot
and be a part of that photo with his new
fiance or even if the fiance wasn't there, how would
you have felt being in.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
The photo with him?
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yeah, you know, you guys have gone through a divorce,
you have two kids together. Obviously there's a lot of
hurt there. It's only been one year. But his family
is not responsible for your triggers. As it relates to
your divorce. You have to be responsible for that. And
if you weren't strong, you felt you weren't going to
be strong enough to be in the same room with
that woman, let alone her. I mean, I can't imagine
(02:49):
me stepping in a photo with my kids and then
the dance instructed has been cheating with my husband steps
forward too, Like I probably would have started swinging.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But she be a picture with the kids though she
had not do with the kids. Well, the that's her
husband's family.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
That's her fiance. Now the ex husband is now engaged
to the dance instructor. So she when they said parents
step into the photo with the kids, him and the
fiance stepped right up along.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
With this poor woman.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
So, Deanna, I know how it must have felt, girl,
but you are responsible for that, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
The mother of the children, of the grandkids, and the
nieces and the nephews and whatever. Doesn't she get if
she's a decent person, especially if she was wronged. Was
there really like and I'm sorry if I missed this part,
she really cheated?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
She said, Well, he really cheated with the dances.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, I mean doesn't that woman get some sort of
elevated status in the family. Yes, because she's the mother
of the grandkids, nieces and nephetw So, like, wouldn't other
people in the family want to protect her interest above
and beyond the new fiance. Like, I'm not saying it's fair,
but because in this scenario, she's the mother of the children,
we got it.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
We gotta look out for her absolutely, and I think
that's why they extended the invite to include her into
the photo.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, but it's not her family, that's that's her ex
husband's family.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So well, it's her family now, because again, if you
want access to the grandkids, you got to go through her.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Like for me, if if I was in that situation,
I would have like, just let the kids be in
the photos. I would have been like, here, I'll bring
the children. You be in the photo with your dad
and whatever you want to do. I'm not going to
be in these photos. I'm not part of your family anymore,
does you know, just because like I'm the parent of
your grandkids, like I would.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Put my kids is part of the family still, like
you can't, you don't get here. As long as there
are kids involved. Then in a healthy situation, then she
may not be with the son anymore. But you don't
just exclude her or make her feel bad, because again,
she is the gateway, part of the gateway to the grandkids.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
And she can politely decline if she didn't want to
do it.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
If my brother in law and my sister break up,
and it's just because God forbid, and it's just because
they just decided to go their separate ways amicably, and
they're both you know, co parenting and doing a great job.
That dude is still a member of our family. He's
still we still have to be.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Kind to you. You're gonna if Amanda has a new fiance, yeah, boy,
are you like then?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I mean, I don't know, but it's it's she He's
still the father of my nieces and of the grandkids.
And again, if he screws up, then he isn't even
getting invited to this right right, So that there's that,
but like, we gotta respect his role in this, Like
he's fifty percent of these kids.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
And I think the family is respecting her. I think
they are trying to show her love. However, it is
not the family's responsibility to monitor your triggers. You were
triggered by seeing your ex with that woman, you were
triggered by seeing that woman step into your family photo.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
But it's not on the family. You know.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
They just extended the invite because they still love you,
still care for you.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
But they can't, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And you guys are the jury, by the way, Well,
I guess we are too. Eight five five, nine, one
one three five. Yeah, somebody texted this, and I agree.
I think the fiance probably should have just stayed out
of it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
That's what I think. I agree.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I think should have been like you know what, I'm not.
I'm not yet officially part of this unit. I have
nothing to do with these kids, right, I have nothing
to do with you know, the grandparents and the rest
of it. So I don't need to be in these
pictures yet, Like, let me immerse myself with this group,
because I again, I think the mother in this case
has elevated status.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I do she should have it.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
But if her husband or ex husband isn't willing to
put her in that, you know what I'm saying, Like,
he's not protecting her as his ex wife and the
mother of his children. He's inviting this new woman into
the picture without taking into consideration his ex wife's feelings.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
But that's why he's an ex girl, you know you
But he has.
Speaker 5 (06:34):
That right to bring the fiance into the photos, you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
That's it doesn't feel good though, I wouldn't like him.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Right, she's current though, you know what I'm saying, Like,
so his ex wife, we're acting like the mother of
the kids is dead. And the other thing is it
just happened.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
It happens a lot in families. But it sounds like
this woman was also wronged. She was, she was so
that if I'm the grandparents here planning this photo shoot,
my son act a full acted a fool. Yeah, And
and I mean, I'm always gonna pick my I'm always
gonna pick my kid. I'm always gonna pick my sister
in this case. But if she especially if she messed
(07:07):
around to something bad to Colin, I'm gonna probably be
pretty careful with how he feels about all this because
he didn't do anything. Hypothetically, this woman didn't do anything,
Why does she deserve to bring her kids and then
feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Well, you always like the mom like whatever the ex
husband's mind. They're always gonna pick family over anything like
That's why I don't. We're saying a situation, Fred, like
if if your sister and Colin were to break up,
like you're still gonna hang out with this man, You're
gonna go against.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
Your sister and be like, yo, I'm stinge fen of Colin.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I told you that I gave you the parameters, like
if they if they just part ways amicably say hey,
you know what, it isn't for us anymore. We still
love each other, you know, we're consciously uncoupling, and we're
gonna co parents, gonna be healthy. Then I think the
healthiest thing to do is not to alienate the kid's
father because he didn't do anything. Now, if he goes
and screws around, now I will say this, Let's say
(07:59):
he again. I hate using my own family, but let's
let's say he does something crappy. Let's say he cheats
or whatever. Now I'm gonna kill him, so he'll be
dead so it won't matter. But let's say I don't
kill him. I'm oh god, it would take everything I have,
but I would have to in situations where the girls
were around and he was around, I would have to
(08:21):
do my very best not to disrespect him in front
of them because they didn't do anything wrong. So the
bottom line is the adults seemed to adult here and
they weren't.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
But in Kiki's offense, you gotta know your triggers. You
gotta know that's gonna make that's gonna piss you off.
Then then don't don't jump in that photo. Just step
back and let your ex husband have a photo with
the Beyonce and your kids. Like you got invited, you
did the family photo, but you got to know that
that situation in your head was gonna come up at
some point because you've done this family photo so many years.
(08:52):
They have a family, You do a picture with your
kids and your husband, like, you have to know that's
gonna happen and you have to be strong in that situation.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I will say this, and I've been in this, not
not personally, but I've been privy to this situation where
it almost becomes problematic when you've got somebody who makes
creates life with another person and then that doesn't work anymore.
But the family is sort of ingratiated with that person,
and that's the mother of the grandkids. And then you
(09:22):
bring in a new person, and in a lot of cases,
that other new person feels less than yeah, because they
didn't make the kid, and the person who made the
kid gets more respect because well, that's the mother of
the kids, and we respect we love the kids, and
we want the kids, and you know what I'm saying.
So I guess I can see over compensating for the
new member. But y'all messed around. Supposedly they not only
(09:43):
that they were cheating.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Right, and she was the kid's dance instructor.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So if I'm that woman, I don't want I'm I'm
not even gonna be involved with this photo shoot.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
I don't know what I'm saying. I feel like she
should have just stayed stayed out of it.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You know, I think I agree. I agree. Hey, Sherry,
good morning, good morning.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
How's it going with you, Fred?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, I mean, that's that's the place to be, honestly,
but yeah, that's you're a very intelligent person.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
I moved.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
I moved here twenty five years ago, Indiana, from California,
and my husband ended up having like an emotional affair
with my best friend, which I didn't realize. I trusted
both of them until all my other friends started telling me,
you're blind, and so we ended up breaking up, and
(10:38):
I moved out and my mother in law married for
nineteen years.
Speaker 7 (10:43):
Let me tell you, nineteen years, three kids. My mother
in law, who I was a very good daughter in
law too, and my kids are her only grandkids, comes
out to visit from Napa Valley, and I'm out of
the house, the house that my name is still on
the indeed, and we've only been broken up a couple months,
not even in divorce proceedings. And I go there to
(11:06):
bring something to my.
Speaker 8 (11:09):
Girls, and that chick is car is in my driveway.
I don't live there anymore, but still that's my house
and my mother in law is there, and I pull
up and they're all in the car together, my husband,
my mother in law, this chick, and my kid in
(11:31):
the backseat. And I loved what you said, Kiki about triggers,
but I didn't realize I was going to come upon
this situation and I blew it.
Speaker 7 (11:44):
But I loved what you were saying about Trigger's Kiki,
because I did do a lot in that time period
of my life. It was a horrible time for me.
This is thirteen years ago now, but I.
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Blew up and I made all my kids get out
of the car, and I looked like a crazy lady.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I do think Sherry Shary, with all the respect, I
do think it's a little bit. It's a little different
than the situation you're describing here because I mean, and
I'm not saying that it hurt any less, but in theory,
they were doing their own thing on their time, right.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
They didn't.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
They didn't invite you to be part of something and
then include the side piece.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Like it correct.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I get the fact that when people get divorced, each
party has a right to move on, and each party
is going to move on, and I get that that
can cause problems. My favorite is when somebody breaks up
with someone else and then and I know this one
all too well, and then the person who did the
breaking up and did all the nefarious, mean bad stuff
now has a problem with the person who they did
(12:40):
it to moving on. It's like, oh no, Oh you
want to Oh you want to meet another man. Oh
you want to marry another guy. Oh you wanted that
got to be around our kids? Oh no, I have
a problem with that. Well then why were you cheating?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
You know what I mean? Like you could You didn't
have to do any of this.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So I see both sides of your situation, Sherry, But
I got to move on to the next person. Thank
you for calling. Yeah, yeah, have a good day. Now
see that. I would imagine that's very hurtful. But in
this case, she walked up on them and they're all
trying to create their own unit now over here. But
if they had invited her to a picnic and then
alienated her, that's what this situation sounds like.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
But the family didn't alienate her.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
The family invited her because they love her and they
respect her, and they want her to be included.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
They can't control their son's new situation. Is it Katherine?
Speaker 9 (13:26):
It's Catherine.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I've never seen Catherine spell that way in my life.
Bellahamine k A H R E E N. She was confused,
that's okay, anyway, you know, I'm often confused.
Speaker 9 (13:42):
I have been divorced one here. I completely disagree with you. Fred,
I'm sorry, but I.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Saw I know. Go ahead, though, what do you want
to say?
Speaker 9 (14:01):
Do you hear me?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yes? But Noia, we can hear you. What was your
what'd you want.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
To hurry up?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Sorry?
Speaker 9 (14:06):
Sorry? So, Britt, I just disagree with you. I think
what's going to divorce your divorcing from the family. I
think it was really nice that if they invited her,
But if I was her, I would not go because
I mean, he's engaged. It's not like their boyfriend and
girlfriend like she's going to be in the pictures. They're
going to be pro family. I don't think that the
ex wife should be in the pictures.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Heesaid they should. I disagree with you that she's not
part of the family. But what I would say is
then just they drop the kids off, we're doing a
photo shoot, and and then you don't come in like
you're not you know what I mean, because it doesn't
involve you anymore. If you're going to involve her in something,
then don't rub it in her face.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But then no one is rubbing anything hit her face.
Why does she need to be there?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
She's the accent she was cheated on and now you're
bringing her and the kids into a situation where she's
going to be uncomfortable. You have to respect the fact
this is the mother of the children.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
But had I not given her the invite or the
option to come, then you would say she's there aliena right.
They're just respecting her, so they gave her the option.
It's just I can't control what's gonna make you.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Upset that day.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But Kiki as the as the father of the children,
he has he's entitled to his own time without her.
They should have done that on their time and not
on time where she was there. She didn't need to
beet that. It's weird. Why is the mother and the
and the side piece in the same picture. That doesn't
make any doesn't need to happen like that, Like there's.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
No like you have you you said it for like
everyone has.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
To be an adult.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
She had to be an adult in that situation, Like
you know that situation was gonna come up. Just if
you don't want to be comfortable taking that photo, then
don't take that photo. But the invite was there. You
took the family photo well, and and then and then yeah,
that's their family dynamic now and that's what Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I live with Kathleen, thank you have a good day.
Not Katherine. I don't know her.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
I don't know her.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
But like Caitlyn, you've been in this you live this life,
and so have I. When my parents got divorced, you know,
each party tried to develop their own new life. Yeah,
nobody was being invited for pictures that overlapped, you know,
like my family picture with my stepdad, adopted dad and
my mom and my sister did not include my father
(16:10):
in one of his many side pieces, like it just didn't.
And then when he wanted to go do his own
thing and like tried to force a family with his
side piece and all her kids. Then then my mom
wasn't invited into that, you know, like it was. It
was completely separate. But if you're going to bring them
all together, especially if there was infidelity, that's just cruel.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
So you say, don't invite the family, should not have
invited the ex wife at all.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
If she's if you're not going to consider her a
part of the family and you're not going to respect
her needs, then drop the kids off.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
They did not.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
They invited the photo bread When I'm saying don't so
then that would have been the alienating part, is what
you're saying.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
They weren't alienating her at all.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They ruvil You're just arguing. My point is that she
doesn't need to be a part of it. There's two
separate units. I don't know why you're trying to put
them together.
Speaker 5 (17:00):
But if they don't invite her, then that's the alienating part.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
They don't have to invite her. They're allowed to have
their own family unit over here. That has nothing to
do with it. It's the overlap that's the problem.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
You're saying they're not considering her family. They did consider
family because they invited her. Yes, so she's still part
of the family. She just couldn't handle the trigger of
the photo.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
But she didn't like That's the thing he's just saying, basically,
like that, it's not alienation or if they didn't.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Invite her, they still love and respect her, But she
didn't have to be a part of this little rob.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
She doesn't have to be a part of their family picture. Correct.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
That's on her to decline the invite, not at all.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Guys, what if they didn't invite her?
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Right the next thing you know, she sees a family
photo of her kids in this woman, her.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Husband, she has say she has no control over that.
It sucks, but she has no control over that. The
same way that if she has a boyfriend or a
new husband, and and she wants to take family pictures
with with the kids that aren't his in it, I
mean that then he has to deal with that.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
May issue is I don't know why she was there.
I don't know why she was there.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Family still loves her, Okay, but in this particular case,
in this particular case, this one instance, she didn't need
to be there.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
It could have been on their time.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
And then so we agree because I said, she should
have just said if she wasn't gonna be able to
handle being in that room with all of those people,
she should have said no to the invite.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I guess so maybe, okay, we're saying the same thing.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I guess that A Sorry, Dianne, I'm sorry this happened
to you girls. It really is horrible. I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Breaking up with families is hard. After I break up,
if you really love your in laws, is very hard.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Don't try and force a family unit out of your
son and his and the woman he cheated with and
the mother of your grandkids. If you have any respect
for your grandkids, then you wouldn't have even put her
in that position to begin with. Okay, so there the
entertainment report. We'll do it next after Dojakat. In two minutes,
the friend shows on
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