December 16, 2024 • 33 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's the Fresh Show. This is what's trending. Okay, he
can't Yo, you got schooled by the intern.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I mean you, I got ex for this.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Okay, we already want to do sports. I shouldn't get
that text message either. Your pick six and eight? She
got six you well, yeah you got six right? You
got you wrong? Bellahamen. On the other hand, ten and four, Yeah,
who watches football religiously wants to right? So I just
(00:32):
thought you were good at everything. Pardon me.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I mean, look at the first week when I feel, yeah,
you're like nine and I love you one day.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And you're a Bear's head coach.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You know, I'm gonna like ibrafosy.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I'm not gonna fire you like but yeah, and then
we just two more games tonight, so we'll see what happened.
She could go twelve and four. Very impressive. Mm hmm,
I found your weakness. That's Jasons, I don't know, well
not even his no anyway. All right, well that's the result,
(01:06):
so we'll see what happens today. This is the season
where I feel like and I realized people give me
gifts too, But this is I feel like, way more
money goes out than comes back. Oh way, more money
goes out that comes back again. People are very generous,
but I just like everywhere I turn, I gotta give
this person a gift, and that person a gift and
(01:27):
this person. Well, no, I don't even mean like mom
and dad. I mean like, uh, you know, if you'll
try to be thoughtful of other people in your life
who you run into. I got a slick one yesterday.
This was this was pretty slick. Actually, I gotta say,
for some reason, I get a Sunday paper I don't know.
In fact, I've tried to cancel it. I actually canceled it.
I canceled it. I think it was a gift. Originally
(01:49):
it was someone said, yeah, because I like to read
the paper on Sunday. I don't know why, and it's
impossible to find. I like the way it smells, but
the comics and everything not. No, No, that's I'm a
grown up. No, I'm a grown ass man. So no,
And so I think I canceled it because I don't
talk to the person who gave me the gift anymore.
So I was like, I don't there's a reason with
(02:10):
this person to be because it was like a subscription,
so they were paying for it. I guess it still
shows up though. So on my little like in front
of my door, was a newspaper and then on top
of that was like a little card in an open envelope,
a big envelope. So I take it and I read it,
and the card inside was it was kind of like perpendicular,
(02:31):
so it wasn't like the the card was not supposed
to go in this envelope. It was like in a
bigger envelope. So I opened it and it was like
happy Holidays from your newspaper deliver person. And then I
turned the envelope over and it's the newspaper delivered person's address,
self addressed envelope. Hell yeah, so that was I supposed
for me to put some money in it. I thought
(02:56):
that was pretty slick. My god, now again it's gonna
be like a venmo like, No, that would have been
That probably would have been a good idea too. And
I realized, you know, they work hard, and I'm sure
they would like a gift, but I can't remember the
last time I promided someone to give me a gift,
Like if I wanted to give them, I know they're
going to be there every Sunday. Could I just leave
them some money exactly where they're going to be on
(03:18):
my doorstep and say, you know, for the newspaper person,
and that because you don't ever see this person, you know,
because they come very very early in the morning. But yeah,
I thought that was that was pretty good, and I
wonder how often it works. People feel guilty, you know,
they're like, oh God, this person's expecting a gift, and
they put something in there. But this is that time
of year where like everybody in your life you're supposed
to give them. We've done the list before and I
(03:40):
always say it's like, here's the proper etiquette on who
in your life you're supposed to give for the holidays.
And my thing is if you have all these people
in your life, then you can afford to give them.
But it was like, you're supposed to give the newspaper person.
You're supposed to give the mail person. You're supposed to
give the garbage person, you're supposed to everybody the law,
you're supposed to lawn person, anyone who you hire, you're
(04:01):
supposed to like give them something for the holidays. And again,
these are all people who work very hard, and it's
a nice thing if you're able to do it. But
it's very expensive, right, yes, yes, and so this is
why this comes at a perfect time. The Mega Million's
jackpot is seven hundred and forty million dollars. So I'm
just gonna go ahead and win that real quick, real quick, Like,
(04:22):
just go buy a ticket and win, and then everybody
can have a present, the newspaper person can have a present.
You know, it'll be fine. So no Megamillion's jackpot winning
ticket was sold for Friday's drawing, meaning that the prize
is close to reaching record levels. The new jackpot seven
hundred and forty million dollars, with the next drawing coming
tomorrow night. So there you go. I'm just gonna win
(04:43):
that real quick, and then everything will be fine and
everyone can have a present and I won't feel uh,
I won't feel stressed about it. But yeah, it's it's
just a lot. It's a lot this time of year.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It is.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
And then your nephews are asking for wild things. It's
it's out of control. Yes, I want to know eight
five three five. What is the most ridiculous thing that
a child in your life is asking for?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
What is on that? And these kids are getting very creative,
very smart. It's a new era of gift giving and
kind of wish listing, and it's very smart. Like I
know parents whose kids submit to them. I've heard about
PowerPoint presentations. I've also heard about they'll send the list
with the Amazon link right there. Smart. All you got
(05:30):
to do is click on it. That's what my sister
did for my niece. She send me like three things
with the links in the website, all from the same store.
Boom boom, boom, bye, bye bye. Send to my house
in Arizona, where it's going to be boom boom boom,
done exactly. I shopped for Polly in four point seven seconds. Unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
What what is it that your nephews? What is the
age and what is the most ridiculous thing they're asking for?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
So this is my fifteen year old nephew, Sean. He
sent screenshots of the things that he would like, and
it's very alarming because there's nothing on this list that's
less than three hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
He was nice enough he selected two pairs of shoes.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
He was nice enough to give us two options Rick
Owens shoes, which the first pair is seven hundred forty
eight dollars.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Okay, he wants seven hundred dollars shoes, yes, and then
does he know who Frick Owen?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Jane Grown, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I don't know who is Rick?
Speaker 6 (06:29):
What the hell is Rick doing for seven hundred dollars
like that?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Where are you walking to get him some nice chucks?
Speaker 7 (06:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Those are those are expensive conference shucks. Get him some
nice chucks for sixty bucks. You'll be very happy.
Speaker 8 (06:40):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So that was the first pair of rick Owens. That
is our first option.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Our second option was the rick Owens Geo basket high
high pitch black milk boot.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
And that is fifteen hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Oh yeah, fifteen serious.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
He is dead serious. For screen shots.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
He would like pants that are one hundred and fifty
five dollars. He wants a hoodie that is three hundred
and sixty six dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And I just think it is wild.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
High school, yes, high school, and they all, they all.
So it's like, do we not let him have it
when everybody else has it?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
They're gonna make fun of me if I don't have it.
If you don't have fifteen hundred dollars shoes, that means
that your your feet won't get cut off and you
won't get robbed, so that'll be fine. Get a job.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
I just feel so sorry for the parents of teenagers
out here, Like I'm praying with you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
It's real.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Sixteen hundred dollars fifteen. I was offended by seven sixty
and then he doubled it.
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Yes, damn, but I get that job at KFC Homie Man, No,
he said, I better get another job.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Tack my girlfraid. My girlfriend's fourth grade brother wants a
PS five with three games. Huh. My thirteen year old
cousin wants versacek My sister created a whole PDF document
that included everything she wanted for Christmas in order, with prices, links,
and pictures. Hey, look that's smart. Create yourself a little registry.
(08:11):
I like it. I like it. You gotta. Hey, if
you want to be really savvy about it, then make
There's got to be something online where you can make
it so that wants it to purchase it disappears, so
that all that's lasted the last minute is the expensive stuff. Exactly. Yes,
one of my nephews is eighties are old text When
my nephews is eight years old requested a PlayStation five
and an Xbox one with a VR headset and on
(08:34):
Nintendo Switch, because he has all those things in his
dad's house, but he also needs them at his mom's house.
I remember that game. I remember that game in a
very short period of time after my parents got divorced
and we went back and forth. Oh yeah, I got
to play them up for one another. My mom didn't
fall for it. Now my father Disneyland dad over here,
who wasn't doing jack. It was like, I need this, okay, sure, okay,
(08:58):
I need it. I need this Okay, yeah, because he did,
he felt so I don't. I don't know. I don't
know if narcissistican field guild, but but anyway, I got
a lot of stuff out it.
Speaker 9 (09:07):
I want my parents to divorce so bad. I wanted
them to get a divorce. I could do that, like
go to two houses. I know, it's it's not great.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
It wasn't great. It actually still affects me five years later,
So yeah, I really wanted I got to go to
another place. I remember that there were kids whose parents
were divorced and they did it so seamlessly, like their
parents got long and then they also had like it
was like joint custody. So they had like one week here,
one week there, and they had like a full set
of clothes over here, and a full thing and a
(09:34):
full dist and a full that, so they could just
they could just hop into car and go. It was
like a summerhouse. No, you know, they could just hop
in and then everything was ready over there for them.
And then no, no, no, I get right. I had to
pack a bag every time and cry bachelor.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So like, imagine I didn't have products over there. You
take your own pin pants.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Right, survival kid? A bottle of water?
Speaker 10 (09:58):
Right?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Anyway, sorry, never mind, hear you hear what's happening here?
Probably you didn't. You didn't really want your parents to
get divorced.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
It just to stuff. I was like, oh that seems fun.
You're gonna buy me anything, my stepdad?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Okay, affect you later. Yeah, fourteen year old nothing under
eighty bucks. I mean just going on and on. A
sewing machine for a kid? How his essay? A sewing machine?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yes see, I like that, really make your own clothes.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
Ashton wants a puppet, like a ventriloquist dummy.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh no, that's honest. That's his number one thing. On
his list. I don't know where it came from. It's like,
I want a puppet. I'm like, what do you mean
a puppet?
Speaker 6 (10:39):
Like He's like, I want to be like this, and
I'm like like a Mayor Neet puppet with the strings.
Speaker 11 (10:44):
He's like, no, a puppet would talk great. I'm like, actually,
I can't saying. He's like specific, I want, like like
a Jack Skellington. I'm like, even if I know Jack
Skellington puppet, It's like, what, yeah, so yeah, that's a
that's a That's our search right now is trying to
find a puppet.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
And then you have to pretend. You have to pretend
like he's a ventiliquist. Can't you're a ventrilli quist. But
obviously he doesn't know how to do that, because no,
he wants to.
Speaker 6 (11:11):
Do more like like muppet stock. You know what I'm saying,
where you're hiding behind the table and come up. Yeah,
like you said a Sesame street over here. I don't
know what it is.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Drones. We're still talking about drones being reported over two
nuclear plants in New Jersey and briefly grounded flights at
a small airport on Friday, they're being seen flying over
Salem and Hope Creek nuclear gathering stations. A spokesperson for
the utility company said that they've contacted the appropriate authorities,
but they didn't say who made the reports. This has
been going on for a few days now. Drones citing
(11:42):
on Friday led to a temporary shutdown of another airport,
the Stewart Airport, which is in New York. It's a
military and public airport located in New Windsor, New York.
Reports of drones flying over New Jersey have continued to
pour in, with lawmakers demanding answers in action from the
federal government. The FBI and the US Department of Homeland
Security have pushed back the accuracy of many reports, suggesting
(12:04):
that they were likely manned aircrafts. But there are pictures
all over TikTok and all the Internet of these massive
swarms of drones, and no one knows what. Someone knows.
They're just not telling us why. I never do, they
never do. You may not like President Trump, and we're
soon to be President Trump for again President Trump, but
he is doing something you might like. He wants to
end daylight saving time once and for all. So the
(12:27):
whole spring forward fall back thing. If he gets his way, though,
we'll spend the entire year in one place. He posted
on social media over the weekend that they will use
the party will use its best efforts to eliminate daylight
saving time because it's inconvenient. So I don't know. I
guess we just get used to one. It never changes.
(12:50):
I grew up in Arizona Mountain time. It never changed.
Everyone else around has changed. We never changed. Oh yeah,
I never understood it. And then I went to college
in Texas. I'm like, we do what? Yeah, I don't
know either where an how we're agoing. It's for the farmers, though,
fam Isn't that relevant for you? My crops always grew.
I don't know. We got controversy today, guys in the
script's national spelling b oh oh, they're being criticized for
(13:11):
using an alternate spelling of women. Now, so they, I guess,
released an approved list of study words for third graders.
I guess you can go on there and you can
get all the words they could possibly ask you, and
then you could study them and memorize them or whatever else.
And one of the words that has drawn the most
attention is the FEMA excuse me, the feminist alternative spelling
(13:36):
of women instead of wom or women in this case,
wom e n. It's wom y n. That's going to
be the appropriate spelling. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary website,
wom y n is used in some feminist context, so
we can emit the men ending. The alternate spelling has
(14:00):
because all kinds of controversy now, but I don't know
if the other one's not going to be accepted anymore.
You have to spell it womy And now if you
want to win the spelling be and TikTokers, what would
what's trending be without a food story? TikTokers are now
marinating gummy bears in sprite and then freezing them to
create a treat with a smooth, icy consistency. What do
(14:23):
we think about this? Nine million views on this video?
Something so satisfying in my brain about these little pops.
So the recipe involves submerging the hairbo I Guess it
has to be specifically hairbo I Guess brand gummy bears
in a container filled with the soda, and then refrigerating
them overnight. The liquid is then dumped out and the
(14:44):
bears are placed on a plate and slapped in the
freezer for two or three hours. The final product is
not only bigger, but a major contrast to the normal
chewy mouthfeel. Oh what are we gonna find out? The
we're gonna find out there's something like chemically bad about
this causes some kind of high or something. But anyway,
(15:04):
and this is the big food trend now, I mean,
this is the least so far. I would say this
is probably the least dangerous thing from TikTok that I've
seen in the last week or so. This is better
than like the you know, I don't know, the plane
last week, drink motor oil or whatever else other sort
of stuff. Oh yeah, the plane thing you get your
(15:25):
ass kicked and and then you get banned from flying
ever again. Yeah, that was that one. That was the
sit in someone else's assigned seat on the plane and
refused to leave. God was was the TikTok trend from Friday,
which is a sure fire away to make sure that
you can drive for the holidays and never fly again.
It's National Chocolate Covered Anything Day, and it's Barbie and
(15:48):
Barney Backlash Day, a day for parents to turn off
their kids annoying cartoons. Yes, so does you have to
be those two specifically.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Coming for your Blue?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It was so good, you guys. I'd learned that Blue
was a girl, not that I didn't know that. I
thought one of them was a boy, and I was correct.
Order a fresh show. It's Kiki's court, alright, it's the
honor of old kik aleek out take it away? Wow
with sound effects too.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Okay, let's step into the courtroom. This case says, Hey,
ki Ki.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
My name is Cassie and I've gone no contact with
my mother and it's been the hardest thing I have
ever had to do.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I am my mother's only living daughter.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I had an older sister that died a few months
after birth, so I never got a chance to meet her.
But my mother has made sure to keep her memory alive.
My mom talks about my sister all the time. Every
year she makes the family celebrate my late sister's birthday.
At all of my graduations, my mom brings a picture
of my sister and sits it on the front seat
(16:55):
of the graduation in her memory. And if I'm being honest,
I feel like it's a bit we considering how many
years it's been since my sister passed. My final straw
was while planning my wedding, my mom kept bringing up
my sister. She asks first if I would make her
an honorary bridesmaid and add her name to the wedding
website and programs. Then she took it a step further
(17:17):
and requested that I reserve and decorate a seat on
the front row of my wedding with a photo of
my sister.
Speaker 12 (17:24):
For me.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
That was the final straw.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I told my mom, please stop making your grief the
front page of our lives. My dad feels the same,
but he won't speak up, so I had to. I
told her, no, I will not add a grief session
to my wedding. This is supposed to be the happiest
day of my life. My mom called me selfish and
we haven't spoken in three months since the argument. My
wedding is coming up soon. Should I just give in
(17:49):
and let my mom steal my moment again? Or should
I stand my ground? Now?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
This isn't not that it matters, but necessarily but it
isn't the infant just after Earth, right, So like we're
not talking about and again I'm not saying that grief
is grief. Losing a human being is what it is.
But we're not talking about someone you know, with whom
we shared a bond that well, maybe a bond, but
like we don't we never had a conversation with this person. Okay,
(18:18):
I'm just being clear on this. Yeah, the Cassie has
never met her sister.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
You know, her sister passed before she was However, until
that happens to you, I feel like, as a parent
losing a child, you don't know what that feels like.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, no, I'm not minimizing. I'm just trying to understand
the sort of the strength of the connection, how that
connection ties to the girl who's writing in the Kiki's chord,
who's wedding it is? You know, I don't know if
there was something that maybe they've been a little older
and they shared something together, like a hobby or a
(18:50):
you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah, Okay,
Like my grandfather was honored at my at my sister's wedding.
Now we didn't do like the whole empty chair thing,
but like I don't know, everybody there knew him and
and everyone was sad that he wasn't there. And there
was context, and so I understood that completely anyway, and
that's yours.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
That was your sister's decision to yeah, right, right, that's
decision though exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
So this really has me torn, honestly, like I've you know,
I've lost siblings before, and I understand the pain that
her mom may feel. But again, this is her wedding
and it is her day, and you have made your
grief the front page of it seems like all of
her biggest moments in life, and I hate that for Cassie.
So I do feel like in this instance, like you should.
(19:36):
I don't think you should go no contact with your mom.
I don't think you should she shouldn't come to the wedding.
I think you all should have a nice little conversation.
Your mom needs some therapy. I think some type of
grief counseling that is overdue and she really needs that,
and I feel like if you can help her in
any way to get that, then you guys can move forward.
But I don't think that you need to make that
(19:58):
the center of your wedding if that's not you're comfortable with,
because at the end of the day, it is your wedding,
and so Cassie. I think, you know, if your mom
can't compromise in that, in that arena, then I think
you should stand your ground. And I know that's tough.
I mean, who doesn't want their mother at their wedding?
But like, she can't keep taking over your moments with
her grief.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I feel you on that.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You guys are the jury eight five five five three
five mm hmm. It's so tough. She's in that shadow
that she can never get out of. Right, she didn't
ask why you ask for that?
Speaker 9 (20:29):
And oh yeah, maybe she can go to therapy like
with her mom because obviously she's her mother's only living child.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I'm assuming, yep.
Speaker 9 (20:36):
So I think that further as through their lives, I
think this is something that's going to come up or
like at least affect both of them. And I don't
think losing a child is easy at age one hundred.
You know, if your kid's a hundred or if your
kid is you know, five days old, I think it's
it's so tough either way, right, But this.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Is about the mom because that's where I was trying
to quantify that the nature of the connection between the
bride and her sister, and there isn't one you never met,
because this day is about the bride, it is not
about the mom. And the mom is, as you know,
projecting her her grief onto not only her living child,
(21:10):
but also this day, and it seems like everything else.
And so that that's why I kind of wanted to understand, like,
wait a minutes, just so we're clear here they never
even met, No, And so she's she clearly isn't processing
this well. And it's and to your point, this, this
poor girl is living in the shadow of this, you know, this,
(21:31):
this deceased young girl who she never knew. It's not
her fault, it's not. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And then like the fact that the father he feels
the same, He agrees with Cassie, but he won't speak
up to his wife. I mean that's even hard too.
So I feel like maybe there needs to be a
family therapy session.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah, with the mom.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
That kind of happens, because God, like, I cannot imagine
if every one of my moments is like, oh but
if your.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Sister, you know, like your sister were here, Ye, sister,
we're here. It's just so sad.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
She's got to work through it. It's really sad.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
But she has to work through it the mom does. Man, Yeah, right,
because it's like everything you do, it's like you don't
amount to this this figure of this person who never
got to live. Right, But you are living and you
are here and you're able to fulfill you know, sort
of this role. But it's like it's not good enough,
right because because this other child's not there.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
Man, that's really hard. The mom props are having another
child after losing a child. That's got to be super tough.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, it's like to make the decision to have another child,
but to have that you're overshadowing that child. Keep putting
us on the living, the living child, and now look
at what's havening. She stands to lose her living child too,
because this kid can't get out from under the other one. Yeah.
I mean there's there's definitely some grieving that needs to happen,
(22:52):
And yeah, I think therapy's a good idea. Hey Emily,
good morning, Hey Emily, Hi, welcome to Keigy's court. What
do you want to say?
Speaker 13 (23:00):
Okay, first off, I totally do sympathize with every sympathize. Wow,
I can talk this morning, That's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
We most days we can't talk so it's no big deal.
Speaker 13 (23:10):
Love it anyways, Like the mom I feel, I do
feel for her, I really do, but she would never
be asked to share the spotlight or split her wedding
day with someone who was alive. I understand, you know,
honoring people, you know, with nice photos, the empty chair even,
you know, if that's what you choose to do. However,
I feel like the wedding should be the one event
(23:31):
where the mom understands, like, you know, the spotlight should
be on her daughter and her daughter's marriage and the fiance.
And you know, it's like it's if this is the
one thing the mom can rely and let the sister
go for the day, she should.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, this is hard.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
It's so hard. Like I usually am, you know, pretty
one side.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
By this time, I was like, I need to know
what you all think, because I mean, for me, I've
lost the sibling, but we had a relationship. You know,
we were really close. So he will be whenever I
find a man, he will be honored at my wedding.
I think about him on my biggest days. But that's
my and that's your call. No, that's your call to
me to do that, you know, right right right at
least go ahead.
Speaker 13 (24:13):
I think that's the fair part is because the mom
is forced it on her all these years. You know,
it's almost making her feel resentful of someone you've never met,
and like that's not fair to her either.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Emily, thank you. Have a good day,
you too.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I can't make jokes about this, No, it's not funny.
You know, you know, I'll light the mood a little bit,
but I can't joke. You're not going to. You're not
going to. You're not going to, right, But I'll tell
you something like, and I this is this doesn't happen
(24:48):
in my life personally, but and I don't want to
get like too much into anyone else's business, but I
know I've watched in my life someone have to live
not in the shadow per se, but sort of always
being compared to someone who doesn't live up to the
level that that person is by their parents. It's like
(25:09):
someone in the someone who's not carrying their weight is
always being lifted up while the other family members are
having to to sort of do all the work while
this other person does nothing, but like every little thing
they do is the greatest thing they've ever seen. It's
very painful.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Oh that's so annoying.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
It's very painful for the person I'm thinking of here,
and and in this case, that person didn't even get
to live a life, and yet it is still being compared.
It's like, what about me, right? You know?
Speaker 3 (25:34):
It's like, because they do the least all the time,
the moment they actually do something, it's.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Like yay, yeah, oh my god, exactly, yeah, like what yeah, no, exactly,
it's like what about me. It's like, well, but we
expect more from me, But why why do I expect
more from me? Why can't I be the loser? Why
can I Why can't I Why can't I just be
above the loser standard here?
Speaker 7 (25:55):
You know?
Speaker 5 (25:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah, yeah, Claire, Hi, good morning, Hi, good morning.
Speaker 12 (26:03):
Yeah. I just wanted to say it. So I'm in
the mom's shoes. So I actually did lose my first
baby and had another son. Yes, awful, thank you. It's hard,
so like I have to deal with my own grief,
but I don't want to put that on my living son.
And my living son he never met my son that
passed away, so it's like I don't want to take
(26:25):
away from any of his big moments. But at the
same time. It's like kind of a battle too. Like
Christmas cards, do I put like a picture of my
son that passed because I want to like honor him
and remember him and I don't want people to forget
that he was around to it one time. But at
the same time, it's like I don't want to overshadow
my living son.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So yeah, both, yeah, and I think you should do
what makes you feel good, what makes you feel comfortable
in that you know you're not you're not putting pressure
on your kids to do something.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
But it's not like your living son's birthday party. We're
having like this whole thing for the one you know
what I mean. It's like that that. Yeah, I think
the major issue here well is one that she feels
like she's she can never amount to what this what
this this spirit of this other person or what could
have been? And two it's being projected onto her day.
That's the biggest thing for me, Like if the mom
(27:16):
needs to grieve on the birthday, or the mom needs
to grieve privately, or the mom wants to have a
picture in the house or now we don't have to
forget this person existed, but not on my birthday, not
on my wedding day, not on the day my kid's
born or whatever else, because that's about.
Speaker 12 (27:29):
Me, right yep, yeah, just like that's that's one of
the big things for me, is like I never want
my son to feel like he's in the shadow, because
like I don't want to put that burden on him.
So yeah, yeah, that's only on this one.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Well, clar thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss.
I know it's a very very personal thing to call
and talk about, So thank you. Have a good day,
glad you called. Hey, Gabby, good morning.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Good morning, How are you Hey?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Great? What do you want to say?
Speaker 5 (27:54):
So I actually can speak from personal experience about this.
I lost my baby Ax in May.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
I really think that, like for the first time ever,
I like disagree with you guys just a little bit
because unfortunately, like you can't pick and choose like when
your grief comes and goes. And I understand like the
daughter may not have met her sister and things like that,
but I'm actually pregnant again, thank you. So I just
(28:23):
I just think that, like it's kind of a fine line,
and I see where the mom is coming from, I
see where the daughter's coming from but I think like,
unfortunately the mom doesn't get to pick and choose when
she grieves her other child.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You know, yeahhy do you see how like there's a
time and a place like I mean totally three hundred
and sixty four days a year and at least internally
you can acknowledge that. And I have no idea what
that's like. I'll never know. I'm not obviously not going
to be a mother. I'm not going to carry a child.
Hopefully I never lose a child, but like this, this
is a day that is definitively not about the mom. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:56):
So we actually attended a wedding couple of months ago
and there was a it was a close family member
and there was a.
Speaker 10 (29:03):
Memorial table and they didn't honor our daughter who passed away,
and I was like a little bit salty about that,
but we kind of we kind of just acknowledged it.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
And left it as it was. But I think for
some people, when it's a baby.
Speaker 10 (29:16):
Like they don't understand the like the grasp of it,
like like you said, when it's an adult, like, oh, well,
we had a conversation with that person, we talked to them,
we related to them.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
But like when it's a baby. I think it's different
for people.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
M Okay, all right, well Gabby, thank you, I'm sorry
for your lost congratulations and thank you for calling.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
Thank you so much. Have a good day you too.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh that is true.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I feel like sometimes people don't give the same like
weight of grief of a baby versus a person an
adult life, you know, and it really hurts the same,
It hits the same, and you can never tell when
it's when a person will get over it. But I
just think, you know, it's on our it's on us
to control our grief and to deal with it and
get the tools that we need to get to can
(30:00):
you life?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
And we can't project that on everybody else, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, I just keep going back to a time and
a place.
Speaker 9 (30:06):
Yeah, it hurts more like with the promise of like
what could have been, like you had for your baby
or of.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Course you know obviously like that was thinking that, Kaitlin,
But it's hard. It's hard to quantify, right, Like, yeah,
it's sure what could have been, but also does that
make it any more or less said than if someone
who we knew what could have been and they died
and they weren't able to achieve it. You know, it's
it's so hard to say. It's in the eye of
the beholder. I think, hey, Melissa, this is happening to you.
Speaker 8 (30:33):
Well, not not necessarily, but yeah, I'm in the process
of wedding planning. My mom did this little girl before
I did, and you know, a devil's advocate here. Maybe
the mom's not being as spushy as.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
It's being played out to be.
Speaker 12 (30:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (30:49):
My mom has been dropping hands here and there, just
somethings that I should do, the things that I could include,
and I take it. I take it into consideration. If
it's something that works, who included. Is it's something that doesn't,
then then no, and it's worth at least discussing if
she has a strong opinion on it. Obviously, this seems
(31:10):
like a touchy subjects, so.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Let me ask you this, Melissa.
Speaker 5 (31:14):
Do you.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I don't have to know that all the context is
obviously very private, but have you always felt like you're
living in this because this seems like more than just
about the day. This seems like something that's a theme
like that she's constantly being reminded of this other child
that could have been and is into in all these things,
and now on my wedding day, you're going to pile
it on and do it again. I suppose if it
like if your mom makes you feel valued and makes
(31:37):
you feel like she's grateful for you and happy that
you're there and celebrates you, and then this one time
she says, well, what if we were to all on her?
So and so? That's one thing, But I feel like
this is like enough is enough kind of a situation
that's fair.
Speaker 8 (31:50):
Yeah, I my mom has always been supportive of what
I do.
Speaker 7 (31:54):
I don't think that she's overbearing in her her I
guess past issues in this department, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I guess those topics are so sensitive that sometimes we.
Speaker 8 (32:09):
Pick up on things that aren't there.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
So maybe she's feeling these things.
Speaker 8 (32:14):
But it's not necessarily the mom being overbearing about it.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
It's just this thing that she didn't ask.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
For that is brought up here and there.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
This seems like it's bubbling over like again, don't I
don't know if yeah, if we're just coming up now,
like hey, we're getting the family together, this big milestone
and man, were really great to honor so and so. Okay,
all right, but that's not as triggering as again, we're
going to do this again. What about me? It's my day,
you know.
Speaker 8 (32:41):
And there's so many like tiktoks, reels whatever with wedding
ideas nowadays, like that the second you start wedding planning,
you get bombarded with everything wedding planning all the time.
So like, I'm sure this mom saw some sort of
TikTok videos somewhere out there that's like, hey, we can
include her and this is how we can do it,
and she maybe she's got her mindset.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, Melissa, thank you and congratulations to you too. Have
a good day. She's like, thanks them, over it. Do
the damn wedding.
Speaker 7 (33:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I feel like most people, it's like, oh, this is exciting.
Now I get to plan this whole thing and hear
what everybody else thinks about it too. The Entertainment Reporting
two minutes Fred Show
It's the Fresh Show. This is what's trending. Okay, he
can't Yo, you got schooled by the intern.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I mean you, I got ex for this.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Okay, we already want to do sports. I shouldn't get
that text message either. Your pick six and eight? She
got six you well, yeah you got six right? You
got you wrong? Bellahamen. On the other hand, ten and four, Yeah,
who watches football religiously wants to right? So I just
(00:32):
thought you were good at everything. Pardon me.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I mean, look at the first week when I feel, yeah,
you're like nine and I love you one day.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And you're a Bear's head coach.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You know, I'm gonna like ibrafosy.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I'm not gonna fire you like but yeah, and then
we just two more games tonight, so we'll see what happened.
She could go twelve and four. Very impressive. Mm hmm,
I found your weakness. That's Jasons, I don't know, well
not even his no anyway. All right, well that's the result,
(01:06):
so we'll see what happens today. This is the season
where I feel like and I realized people give me
gifts too, But this is I feel like, way more
money goes out than comes back. Oh way, more money
goes out that comes back again. People are very generous,
but I just like everywhere I turn, I gotta give
this person a gift, and that person a gift and
(01:27):
this person. Well, no, I don't even mean like mom
and dad. I mean like, uh, you know, if you'll
try to be thoughtful of other people in your life
who you run into. I got a slick one yesterday.
This was this was pretty slick. Actually, I gotta say,
for some reason, I get a Sunday paper I don't know.
In fact, I've tried to cancel it. I actually canceled it.
I canceled it. I think it was a gift. Originally
(01:49):
it was someone said, yeah, because I like to read
the paper on Sunday. I don't know why, and it's
impossible to find. I like the way it smells, but
the comics and everything not. No, No, that's I'm a
grown up. No, I'm a grown ass man. So no,
And so I think I canceled it because I don't
talk to the person who gave me the gift anymore.
So I was like, I don't there's a reason with
(02:10):
this person to be because it was like a subscription,
so they were paying for it. I guess it still
shows up though. So on my little like in front
of my door, was a newspaper and then on top
of that was like a little card in an open envelope,
a big envelope. So I take it and I read it,
and the card inside was it was kind of like perpendicular,
(02:31):
so it wasn't like the the card was not supposed
to go in this envelope. It was like in a
bigger envelope. So I opened it and it was like
happy Holidays from your newspaper deliver person. And then I
turned the envelope over and it's the newspaper delivered person's address,
self addressed envelope. Hell yeah, so that was I supposed
for me to put some money in it. I thought
(02:56):
that was pretty slick. My god, now again it's gonna
be like a venmo like, No, that would have been
That probably would have been a good idea too. And
I realized, you know, they work hard, and I'm sure
they would like a gift, but I can't remember the
last time I promided someone to give me a gift,
Like if I wanted to give them, I know they're
going to be there every Sunday. Could I just leave
them some money exactly where they're going to be on
(03:18):
my doorstep and say, you know, for the newspaper person,
and that because you don't ever see this person, you know,
because they come very very early in the morning. But yeah,
I thought that was that was pretty good, and I
wonder how often it works. People feel guilty, you know,
they're like, oh God, this person's expecting a gift, and
they put something in there. But this is that time
of year where like everybody in your life you're supposed
to give them. We've done the list before and I
(03:40):
always say it's like, here's the proper etiquette on who
in your life you're supposed to give for the holidays.
And my thing is if you have all these people
in your life, then you can afford to give them.
But it was like, you're supposed to give the newspaper person.
You're supposed to give the mail person. You're supposed to
give the garbage person, you're supposed to everybody the law,
you're supposed to lawn person, anyone who you hire, you're
(04:01):
supposed to like give them something for the holidays. And again,
these are all people who work very hard, and it's
a nice thing if you're able to do it. But
it's very expensive, right, yes, yes, and so this is
why this comes at a perfect time. The Mega Million's
jackpot is seven hundred and forty million dollars. So I'm
just gonna go ahead and win that real quick, real quick, Like,
(04:22):
just go buy a ticket and win, and then everybody
can have a present, the newspaper person can have a present.
You know, it'll be fine. So no Megamillion's jackpot winning
ticket was sold for Friday's drawing, meaning that the prize
is close to reaching record levels. The new jackpot seven
hundred and forty million dollars, with the next drawing coming
tomorrow night. So there you go. I'm just gonna win
(04:43):
that real quick, and then everything will be fine and
everyone can have a present and I won't feel uh,
I won't feel stressed about it. But yeah, it's it's
just a lot. It's a lot this time of year.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It is.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
And then your nephews are asking for wild things. It's
it's out of control. Yes, I want to know eight
five three five. What is the most ridiculous thing that
a child in your life is asking for?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
What is on that? And these kids are getting very creative,
very smart. It's a new era of gift giving and
kind of wish listing, and it's very smart. Like I
know parents whose kids submit to them. I've heard about
PowerPoint presentations. I've also heard about they'll send the list
with the Amazon link right there. Smart. All you got
(05:30):
to do is click on it. That's what my sister
did for my niece. She send me like three things
with the links in the website, all from the same store.
Boom boom, boom, bye, bye bye. Send to my house
in Arizona, where it's going to be boom boom boom,
done exactly. I shopped for Polly in four point seven seconds. Unbelievable.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
What what is it that your nephews? What is the
age and what is the most ridiculous thing they're asking for?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
So this is my fifteen year old nephew, Sean. He
sent screenshots of the things that he would like, and
it's very alarming because there's nothing on this list that's
less than three hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
He was nice enough he selected two pairs of shoes.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
He was nice enough to give us two options Rick
Owens shoes, which the first pair is seven hundred forty
eight dollars.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Okay, he wants seven hundred dollars shoes, yes, and then
does he know who Frick Owen?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Jane Grown, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I don't know who is Rick?
Speaker 6 (06:29):
What the hell is Rick doing for seven hundred dollars
like that?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Where are you walking to get him some nice chucks?
Speaker 7 (06:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Those are those are expensive conference shucks. Get him some
nice chucks for sixty bucks. You'll be very happy.
Speaker 8 (06:40):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So that was the first pair of rick Owens. That
is our first option.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Our second option was the rick Owens Geo basket high
high pitch black milk boot.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
And that is fifteen hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Oh yeah, fifteen serious.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
He is dead serious. For screen shots.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
He would like pants that are one hundred and fifty
five dollars. He wants a hoodie that is three hundred
and sixty six dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And I just think it is wild.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
High school, yes, high school, and they all, they all.
So it's like, do we not let him have it
when everybody else has it?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
They're gonna make fun of me if I don't have it.
If you don't have fifteen hundred dollars shoes, that means
that your your feet won't get cut off and you
won't get robbed, so that'll be fine. Get a job.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
I just feel so sorry for the parents of teenagers
out here, Like I'm praying with you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
It's real.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Sixteen hundred dollars fifteen. I was offended by seven sixty
and then he doubled it.
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Yes, damn, but I get that job at KFC Homie Man, No,
he said, I better get another job.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Tack my girlfraid. My girlfriend's fourth grade brother wants a
PS five with three games. Huh. My thirteen year old
cousin wants versacek My sister created a whole PDF document
that included everything she wanted for Christmas in order, with prices, links,
and pictures. Hey, look that's smart. Create yourself a little registry.
(08:11):
I like it. I like it. You gotta. Hey, if
you want to be really savvy about it, then make
There's got to be something online where you can make
it so that wants it to purchase it disappears, so
that all that's lasted the last minute is the expensive stuff. Exactly. Yes,
one of my nephews is eighties are old text When
my nephews is eight years old requested a PlayStation five
and an Xbox one with a VR headset and on
(08:34):
Nintendo Switch, because he has all those things in his
dad's house, but he also needs them at his mom's house.
I remember that game. I remember that game in a
very short period of time after my parents got divorced
and we went back and forth. Oh yeah, I got
to play them up for one another. My mom didn't
fall for it. Now my father Disneyland dad over here,
who wasn't doing jack. It was like, I need this, okay, sure, okay,
(08:58):
I need it. I need this Okay, yeah, because he did,
he felt so I don't. I don't know. I don't
know if narcissistican field guild, but but anyway, I got
a lot of stuff out it.
Speaker 9 (09:07):
I want my parents to divorce so bad. I wanted
them to get a divorce. I could do that, like
go to two houses. I know, it's it's not great.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
It wasn't great. It actually still affects me five years later,
So yeah, I really wanted I got to go to
another place. I remember that there were kids whose parents
were divorced and they did it so seamlessly, like their
parents got long and then they also had like it
was like joint custody. So they had like one week here,
one week there, and they had like a full set
of clothes over here, and a full thing and a
(09:34):
full dist and a full that, so they could just
they could just hop into car and go. It was
like a summerhouse. No, you know, they could just hop
in and then everything was ready over there for them.
And then no, no, no, I get right. I had to
pack a bag every time and cry bachelor.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So like, imagine I didn't have products over there. You
take your own pin pants.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Right, survival kid? A bottle of water?
Speaker 10 (09:58):
Right?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Anyway, sorry, never mind, hear you hear what's happening here?
Probably you didn't. You didn't really want your parents to
get divorced.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
It just to stuff. I was like, oh that seems fun.
You're gonna buy me anything, my stepdad?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Okay, affect you later. Yeah, fourteen year old nothing under
eighty bucks. I mean just going on and on. A
sewing machine for a kid? How his essay? A sewing machine?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yes see, I like that, really make your own clothes.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
Ashton wants a puppet, like a ventriloquist dummy.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh no, that's honest. That's his number one thing. On
his list. I don't know where it came from. It's like,
I want a puppet. I'm like, what do you mean
a puppet?
Speaker 6 (10:39):
Like He's like, I want to be like this, and
I'm like like a Mayor Neet puppet with the strings.
Speaker 11 (10:44):
He's like, no, a puppet would talk great. I'm like, actually,
I can't saying. He's like specific, I want, like like
a Jack Skellington. I'm like, even if I know Jack
Skellington puppet, It's like, what, yeah, so yeah, that's a
that's a That's our search right now is trying to
find a puppet.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
And then you have to pretend. You have to pretend
like he's a ventiliquist. Can't you're a ventrilli quist. But
obviously he doesn't know how to do that, because no,
he wants to.
Speaker 6 (11:11):
Do more like like muppet stock. You know what I'm saying,
where you're hiding behind the table and come up. Yeah,
like you said a Sesame street over here. I don't
know what it is.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Drones. We're still talking about drones being reported over two
nuclear plants in New Jersey and briefly grounded flights at
a small airport on Friday, they're being seen flying over
Salem and Hope Creek nuclear gathering stations. A spokesperson for
the utility company said that they've contacted the appropriate authorities,
but they didn't say who made the reports. This has
been going on for a few days now. Drones citing
(11:42):
on Friday led to a temporary shutdown of another airport,
the Stewart Airport, which is in New York. It's a
military and public airport located in New Windsor, New York.
Reports of drones flying over New Jersey have continued to
pour in, with lawmakers demanding answers in action from the
federal government. The FBI and the US Department of Homeland
Security have pushed back the accuracy of many reports, suggesting
(12:04):
that they were likely manned aircrafts. But there are pictures
all over TikTok and all the Internet of these massive
swarms of drones, and no one knows what. Someone knows.
They're just not telling us why. I never do, they
never do. You may not like President Trump, and we're
soon to be President Trump for again President Trump, but
he is doing something you might like. He wants to
end daylight saving time once and for all. So the
(12:27):
whole spring forward fall back thing. If he gets his way, though,
we'll spend the entire year in one place. He posted
on social media over the weekend that they will use
the party will use its best efforts to eliminate daylight
saving time because it's inconvenient. So I don't know. I
guess we just get used to one. It never changes.
(12:50):
I grew up in Arizona Mountain time. It never changed.
Everyone else around has changed. We never changed. Oh yeah,
I never understood it. And then I went to college
in Texas. I'm like, we do what? Yeah, I don't
know either where an how we're agoing. It's for the farmers, though,
fam Isn't that relevant for you? My crops always grew.
I don't know. We got controversy today, guys in the
script's national spelling b oh oh, they're being criticized for
(13:11):
using an alternate spelling of women. Now, so they, I guess,
released an approved list of study words for third graders.
I guess you can go on there and you can
get all the words they could possibly ask you, and
then you could study them and memorize them or whatever else.
And one of the words that has drawn the most
attention is the FEMA excuse me, the feminist alternative spelling
(13:36):
of women instead of wom or women in this case,
wom e n. It's wom y n. That's going to
be the appropriate spelling. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary website,
wom y n is used in some feminist context, so
we can emit the men ending. The alternate spelling has
(14:00):
because all kinds of controversy now, but I don't know
if the other one's not going to be accepted anymore.
You have to spell it womy And now if you
want to win the spelling be and TikTokers, what would
what's trending be without a food story? TikTokers are now
marinating gummy bears in sprite and then freezing them to
create a treat with a smooth, icy consistency. What do
(14:23):
we think about this? Nine million views on this video?
Something so satisfying in my brain about these little pops.
So the recipe involves submerging the hairbo I Guess it
has to be specifically hairbo I Guess brand gummy bears
in a container filled with the soda, and then refrigerating
them overnight. The liquid is then dumped out and the
(14:44):
bears are placed on a plate and slapped in the
freezer for two or three hours. The final product is
not only bigger, but a major contrast to the normal
chewy mouthfeel. Oh what are we gonna find out? The
we're gonna find out there's something like chemically bad about
this causes some kind of high or something. But anyway,
(15:04):
and this is the big food trend now, I mean,
this is the least so far. I would say this
is probably the least dangerous thing from TikTok that I've
seen in the last week or so. This is better
than like the you know, I don't know, the plane
last week, drink motor oil or whatever else other sort
of stuff. Oh yeah, the plane thing you get your
(15:25):
ass kicked and and then you get banned from flying
ever again. Yeah, that was that one. That was the
sit in someone else's assigned seat on the plane and
refused to leave. God was was the TikTok trend from Friday,
which is a sure fire away to make sure that
you can drive for the holidays and never fly again.
It's National Chocolate Covered Anything Day, and it's Barbie and
(15:48):
Barney Backlash Day, a day for parents to turn off
their kids annoying cartoons. Yes, so does you have to
be those two specifically.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Coming for your Blue?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It was so good, you guys. I'd learned that Blue
was a girl, not that I didn't know that. I
thought one of them was a boy, and I was correct.
Order a fresh show. It's Kiki's court, alright, it's the
honor of old kik aleek out take it away? Wow
with sound effects too.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Okay, let's step into the courtroom. This case says, Hey,
ki Ki.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
My name is Cassie and I've gone no contact with
my mother and it's been the hardest thing I have
ever had to do.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I am my mother's only living daughter.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I had an older sister that died a few months
after birth, so I never got a chance to meet her.
But my mother has made sure to keep her memory alive.
My mom talks about my sister all the time. Every
year she makes the family celebrate my late sister's birthday.
At all of my graduations, my mom brings a picture
of my sister and sits it on the front seat
(16:55):
of the graduation in her memory. And if I'm being honest,
I feel like it's a bit we considering how many
years it's been since my sister passed. My final straw
was while planning my wedding, my mom kept bringing up
my sister. She asks first if I would make her
an honorary bridesmaid and add her name to the wedding
website and programs. Then she took it a step further
(17:17):
and requested that I reserve and decorate a seat on
the front row of my wedding with a photo of
my sister.
Speaker 12 (17:24):
For me.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
That was the final straw.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I told my mom, please stop making your grief the
front page of our lives. My dad feels the same,
but he won't speak up, so I had to. I
told her, no, I will not add a grief session
to my wedding. This is supposed to be the happiest
day of my life. My mom called me selfish and
we haven't spoken in three months since the argument. My
wedding is coming up soon. Should I just give in
(17:49):
and let my mom steal my moment again? Or should
I stand my ground? Now?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
This isn't not that it matters, but necessarily but it
isn't the infant just after Earth, right, So like we're
not talking about and again I'm not saying that grief
is grief. Losing a human being is what it is.
But we're not talking about someone you know, with whom
we shared a bond that well, maybe a bond, but
like we don't we never had a conversation with this person. Okay,
(18:18):
I'm just being clear on this. Yeah, the Cassie has
never met her sister.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
You know, her sister passed before she was However, until
that happens to you, I feel like, as a parent
losing a child, you don't know what that feels like.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, no, I'm not minimizing. I'm just trying to understand
the sort of the strength of the connection, how that
connection ties to the girl who's writing in the Kiki's chord,
who's wedding it is? You know, I don't know if
there was something that maybe they've been a little older
and they shared something together, like a hobby or a
(18:50):
you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah, Okay,
Like my grandfather was honored at my at my sister's wedding.
Now we didn't do like the whole empty chair thing,
but like I don't know, everybody there knew him and
and everyone was sad that he wasn't there. And there
was context, and so I understood that completely anyway, and
that's yours.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
That was your sister's decision to yeah, right, right, that's
decision though exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
So this really has me torn, honestly, like I've you know,
I've lost siblings before, and I understand the pain that
her mom may feel. But again, this is her wedding
and it is her day, and you have made your
grief the front page of it seems like all of
her biggest moments in life, and I hate that for Cassie.
So I do feel like in this instance, like you should.
(19:36):
I don't think you should go no contact with your mom.
I don't think you should she shouldn't come to the wedding.
I think you all should have a nice little conversation.
Your mom needs some therapy. I think some type of
grief counseling that is overdue and she really needs that,
and I feel like if you can help her in
any way to get that, then you guys can move forward.
But I don't think that you need to make that
(19:58):
the center of your wedding if that's not you're comfortable with,
because at the end of the day, it is your wedding,
and so Cassie. I think, you know, if your mom
can't compromise in that, in that arena, then I think
you should stand your ground. And I know that's tough.
I mean, who doesn't want their mother at their wedding?
But like, she can't keep taking over your moments with
her grief.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I feel you on that.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You guys are the jury eight five five five three
five mm hmm. It's so tough. She's in that shadow
that she can never get out of. Right, she didn't
ask why you ask for that?
Speaker 9 (20:29):
And oh yeah, maybe she can go to therapy like
with her mom because obviously she's her mother's only living child.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I'm assuming, yep.
Speaker 9 (20:36):
So I think that further as through their lives, I
think this is something that's going to come up or
like at least affect both of them. And I don't
think losing a child is easy at age one hundred.
You know, if your kid's a hundred or if your
kid is you know, five days old, I think it's
it's so tough either way, right, But this.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Is about the mom because that's where I was trying
to quantify that the nature of the connection between the
bride and her sister, and there isn't one you never met,
because this day is about the bride, it is not
about the mom. And the mom is, as you know,
projecting her her grief onto not only her living child,
(21:10):
but also this day, and it seems like everything else.
And so that that's why I kind of wanted to understand, like,
wait a minutes, just so we're clear here they never
even met, No, And so she's she clearly isn't processing
this well. And it's and to your point, this, this
poor girl is living in the shadow of this, you know, this,
(21:31):
this deceased young girl who she never knew. It's not
her fault, it's not. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And then like the fact that the father he feels
the same, He agrees with Cassie, but he won't speak
up to his wife. I mean that's even hard too.
So I feel like maybe there needs to be a
family therapy session.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah, with the mom.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
That kind of happens, because God, like, I cannot imagine
if every one of my moments is like, oh but
if your.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Sister, you know, like your sister were here, Ye, sister,
we're here. It's just so sad.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
She's got to work through it. It's really sad.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
But she has to work through it the mom does. Man, Yeah, right,
because it's like everything you do, it's like you don't
amount to this this figure of this person who never
got to live. Right, But you are living and you
are here and you're able to fulfill you know, sort
of this role. But it's like it's not good enough,
right because because this other child's not there.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
Man, that's really hard. The mom props are having another
child after losing a child. That's got to be super tough.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, it's like to make the decision to have another child,
but to have that you're overshadowing that child. Keep putting
us on the living, the living child, and now look
at what's havening. She stands to lose her living child too,
because this kid can't get out from under the other one. Yeah.
I mean there's there's definitely some grieving that needs to happen,
(22:52):
And yeah, I think therapy's a good idea. Hey Emily,
good morning, Hey Emily, Hi, welcome to Keigy's court. What
do you want to say?
Speaker 13 (23:00):
Okay, first off, I totally do sympathize with every sympathize. Wow,
I can talk this morning, That's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
We most days we can't talk so it's no big deal.
Speaker 13 (23:10):
Love it anyways, Like the mom I feel, I do
feel for her, I really do, but she would never
be asked to share the spotlight or split her wedding
day with someone who was alive. I understand, you know,
honoring people, you know, with nice photos, the empty chair even,
you know, if that's what you choose to do. However,
I feel like the wedding should be the one event
(23:31):
where the mom understands, like, you know, the spotlight should
be on her daughter and her daughter's marriage and the fiance.
And you know, it's like it's if this is the
one thing the mom can rely and let the sister
go for the day, she should.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, this is hard.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
It's so hard. Like I usually am, you know, pretty
one side.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
By this time, I was like, I need to know
what you all think, because I mean, for me, I've
lost the sibling, but we had a relationship. You know,
we were really close. So he will be whenever I
find a man, he will be honored at my wedding.
I think about him on my biggest days. But that's
my and that's your call. No, that's your call to
me to do that, you know, right right right at
least go ahead.
Speaker 13 (24:13):
I think that's the fair part is because the mom
is forced it on her all these years. You know,
it's almost making her feel resentful of someone you've never met,
and like that's not fair to her either.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Emily, thank you. Have a good day,
you too.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I can't make jokes about this, No, it's not funny.
You know, you know, I'll light the mood a little bit,
but I can't joke. You're not going to. You're not
going to. You're not going to, right, But I'll tell
you something like, and I this is this doesn't happen
(24:48):
in my life personally, but and I don't want to
get like too much into anyone else's business, but I
know I've watched in my life someone have to live
not in the shadow per se, but sort of always
being compared to someone who doesn't live up to the
level that that person is by their parents. It's like
(25:09):
someone in the someone who's not carrying their weight is
always being lifted up while the other family members are
having to to sort of do all the work while
this other person does nothing, but like every little thing
they do is the greatest thing they've ever seen. It's
very painful.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Oh that's so annoying.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
It's very painful for the person I'm thinking of here,
and and in this case, that person didn't even get
to live a life, and yet it is still being compared.
It's like, what about me, right? You know?
Speaker 3 (25:34):
It's like, because they do the least all the time,
the moment they actually do something, it's.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Like yay, yeah, oh my god, exactly, yeah, like what yeah, no, exactly,
it's like what about me. It's like, well, but we
expect more from me, But why why do I expect
more from me? Why can't I be the loser? Why
can I Why can't I Why can't I just be
above the loser standard here?
Speaker 7 (25:55):
You know?
Speaker 5 (25:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah, yeah, Claire, Hi, good morning, Hi, good morning.
Speaker 12 (26:03):
Yeah. I just wanted to say it. So I'm in
the mom's shoes. So I actually did lose my first
baby and had another son. Yes, awful, thank you. It's hard,
so like I have to deal with my own grief,
but I don't want to put that on my living son.
And my living son he never met my son that
passed away, so it's like I don't want to take
(26:25):
away from any of his big moments. But at the
same time. It's like kind of a battle too. Like
Christmas cards, do I put like a picture of my
son that passed because I want to like honor him
and remember him and I don't want people to forget
that he was around to it one time. But at
the same time, it's like I don't want to overshadow
my living son.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So yeah, both, yeah, and I think you should do
what makes you feel good, what makes you feel comfortable
in that you know you're not you're not putting pressure
on your kids to do something.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
But it's not like your living son's birthday party. We're
having like this whole thing for the one you know
what I mean. It's like that that. Yeah, I think
the major issue here well is one that she feels
like she's she can never amount to what this what
this this spirit of this other person or what could
have been? And two it's being projected onto her day.
That's the biggest thing for me, Like if the mom
(27:16):
needs to grieve on the birthday, or the mom needs
to grieve privately, or the mom wants to have a
picture in the house or now we don't have to
forget this person existed, but not on my birthday, not
on my wedding day, not on the day my kid's
born or whatever else, because that's about.
Speaker 12 (27:29):
Me, right yep, yeah, just like that's that's one of
the big things for me, is like I never want
my son to feel like he's in the shadow, because
like I don't want to put that burden on him.
So yeah, yeah, that's only on this one.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Well, clar thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss.
I know it's a very very personal thing to call
and talk about, So thank you. Have a good day,
glad you called. Hey, Gabby, good morning.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Good morning, How are you Hey?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Great? What do you want to say?
Speaker 5 (27:54):
So I actually can speak from personal experience about this.
I lost my baby Ax in May.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
I really think that, like for the first time ever,
I like disagree with you guys just a little bit
because unfortunately, like you can't pick and choose like when
your grief comes and goes. And I understand like the
daughter may not have met her sister and things like that,
but I'm actually pregnant again, thank you. So I just
(28:23):
I just think that, like it's kind of a fine line,
and I see where the mom is coming from, I
see where the daughter's coming from but I think like,
unfortunately the mom doesn't get to pick and choose when
she grieves her other child.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You know, yeahhy do you see how like there's a
time and a place like I mean totally three hundred
and sixty four days a year and at least internally
you can acknowledge that. And I have no idea what
that's like. I'll never know. I'm not obviously not going
to be a mother. I'm not going to carry a child.
Hopefully I never lose a child, but like this, this
is a day that is definitively not about the mom. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:56):
So we actually attended a wedding couple of months ago
and there was a it was a close family member
and there was a.
Speaker 10 (29:03):
Memorial table and they didn't honor our daughter who passed away,
and I was like a little bit salty about that,
but we kind of we kind of just acknowledged it.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
And left it as it was. But I think for
some people, when it's a baby.
Speaker 10 (29:16):
Like they don't understand the like the grasp of it,
like like you said, when it's an adult, like, oh, well,
we had a conversation with that person, we talked to them,
we related to them.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
But like when it's a baby. I think it's different
for people.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
M Okay, all right, well Gabby, thank you, I'm sorry
for your lost congratulations and thank you for calling.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
Thank you so much. Have a good day you too.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh that is true.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I feel like sometimes people don't give the same like
weight of grief of a baby versus a person an
adult life, you know, and it really hurts the same,
It hits the same, and you can never tell when
it's when a person will get over it. But I
just think, you know, it's on our it's on us
to control our grief and to deal with it and
get the tools that we need to get to can
(30:00):
you life?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
And we can't project that on everybody else, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, I just keep going back to a time and
a place.
Speaker 9 (30:06):
Yeah, it hurts more like with the promise of like
what could have been, like you had for your baby
or of.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Course you know obviously like that was thinking that, Kaitlin,
But it's hard. It's hard to quantify, right, Like, yeah,
it's sure what could have been, but also does that
make it any more or less said than if someone
who we knew what could have been and they died
and they weren't able to achieve it. You know, it's
it's so hard to say. It's in the eye of
the beholder. I think, hey, Melissa, this is happening to you.
Speaker 8 (30:33):
Well, not not necessarily, but yeah, I'm in the process
of wedding planning. My mom did this little girl before
I did, and you know, a devil's advocate here. Maybe
the mom's not being as spushy as.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
It's being played out to be.
Speaker 12 (30:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (30:49):
My mom has been dropping hands here and there, just
somethings that I should do, the things that I could include,
and I take it. I take it into consideration. If
it's something that works, who included. Is it's something that doesn't,
then then no, and it's worth at least discussing if
she has a strong opinion on it. Obviously, this seems
(31:10):
like a touchy subjects, so.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Let me ask you this, Melissa.
Speaker 5 (31:14):
Do you.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I don't have to know that all the context is
obviously very private, but have you always felt like you're
living in this because this seems like more than just
about the day. This seems like something that's a theme
like that she's constantly being reminded of this other child
that could have been and is into in all these things,
and now on my wedding day, you're going to pile
it on and do it again. I suppose if it
like if your mom makes you feel valued and makes
(31:37):
you feel like she's grateful for you and happy that
you're there and celebrates you, and then this one time
she says, well, what if we were to all on her?
So and so? That's one thing, But I feel like
this is like enough is enough kind of a situation
that's fair.
Speaker 8 (31:50):
Yeah, I my mom has always been supportive of what
I do.
Speaker 7 (31:54):
I don't think that she's overbearing in her her I
guess past issues in this department, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I guess those topics are so sensitive that sometimes we.
Speaker 8 (32:09):
Pick up on things that aren't there.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
So maybe she's feeling these things.
Speaker 8 (32:14):
But it's not necessarily the mom being overbearing about it.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
It's just this thing that she didn't ask.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
For that is brought up here and there.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
This seems like it's bubbling over like again, don't I
don't know if yeah, if we're just coming up now,
like hey, we're getting the family together, this big milestone
and man, were really great to honor so and so. Okay,
all right, but that's not as triggering as again, we're
going to do this again. What about me? It's my day,
you know.
Speaker 8 (32:41):
And there's so many like tiktoks, reels whatever with wedding
ideas nowadays, like that the second you start wedding planning,
you get bombarded with everything wedding planning all the time.
So like, I'm sure this mom saw some sort of
TikTok videos somewhere out there that's like, hey, we can
include her and this is how we can do it,
and she maybe she's got her mindset.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, Melissa, thank you and congratulations to you too. Have
a good day. She's like, thanks them, over it. Do
the damn wedding.
Speaker 7 (33:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I feel like most people, it's like, oh, this is exciting.
Now I get to plan this whole thing and hear
what everybody else thinks about it too. The Entertainment Reporting
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