Radio Blogs: Fred Reads!

Fred is buying books faster than he can read them and he found an author he is obsessed with. Find out which author it is!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, they talk better than they tell me. These are
the radio blogs on the Fred Show by for writing
in our diaries, except we say them aloud. We called
the blogs. I'll take this one, dear blog. So yes.
I had a friend recently tell me about two books
I need to read, and my stack of books at

(00:21):
home is I buy books far, far faster than I
can read them. It's a problem. But but Mel Robbins,
I love her, Mel Robbins. Let them you read the
book I.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Am on Audibles. I'm listening to it because I can't read.
Like you said, I can't sit.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
You can't read.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
You can't read, but.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
You've come a long way. Yeah, sit there and read
under my life. You can't read like you said, You've
really made it. You come a long way in your
read I never said that we're the record. I can, yes,
and a lot of stuff. I never said you couldn't
read what I heard. I'm so proud of how far
you've come without knowing how to read. You are a

(01:05):
proud product of the Chicago Public school system, and they
should be proud of you. You'd come a long way.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
They don't claim me, but correct cps all.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Curry condors anyway. So the book is called Let Them.
It's about a theory that she came up. And now,
first of all, I want to say this, Mel Robbins
has a very interesting story, and she herself has developed
these theories like the Wizard, the one, two, three, four
five theory, a couple others, and she's written books, and

(01:34):
she's a public speaker and a ted's talk speaker, works
with compan She's very successful. And it all sprouted from
her being depressed and broke and you know, not feeling
like her life was moving forward and all these different things.
So she kind of just like came up with these things,
these ways of improving her life, and then shares them
with everybody else. So I commend her. It's incredible. I'd

(01:56):
love to have her on the show. I'd love to
talk to her.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Man me too.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
The problem that I'm having with this book, and in fact,
it was it was for my mom to read. My
friend was like, I want your mom to read this,
and if that's the case, then you should read it too.
It it's called Let Them. And if I'm being if
I'm oversimplifying, and I'm only like a quarter of the
way through the book, so I can't say that I
fully have experienced the message she's trying to send. But essentially,

(02:21):
it's if someone's doing something in your life that upset you,
if it's taking the power back in your life. One
example she uses is something that we could probably all
relate to. Or she was on Instagram and she noticed
that a bunch of her female friends were all on
this fun trip together and she didn't get invited, and
she doesn't know why, and she immediately goes into like

(02:42):
despair and depression and sadness and anger and why wouldn't
I have been invited? I wasn't I included? And then
the thing was, well, let them, let them do that,
and don't allow them to take the power because they
have the right to do that. They can go off
and do whatever they want, you know, they don't have
to ask you. And then there's a second part of this,
which is let me which is that and I'm strum

(03:04):
butchering this, let me read the book like I'm not
claiming to you know, be doing this properly, giving doing
it full justice. But the second part of this, I
think is the most important part, which is that, well,
I what am I going to do about it? Well,
I'm going to work on those friendships. I'm going to
reach out to those people. I'm going to engage, I'm
going to plan a trip for myself. I'm going to
do this. So take the power. Don't let them have
the power. You take the power. Someone's being mean to you,

(03:27):
let them now. For me, a couple things, I find
a lot of these self help books really simple, stupid,
and I've read a lot of them, like, for example,
the Four Agreements. If you haven't read the Four Agreements,
I recommend, but once you read it, it's like, Okay, yeah, sure,
you know. That's kind of the way I feel when

(03:47):
I'm reading this, like Okay, sure, don't let other people
have the power. You take the power back. And you're
like okay, well yeah, and the other problem that I so,
I guess for me, it's like it's a great reminder
and I'm going to finish the book, and I definitely
think it's a great message. I just think sometimes easier
said than done. It's like when people say, you know,

(04:07):
the hula hoop, control what you can control nothing outside
the hula hoop. It's like, yeah, but that's not I
get you. Yes, Okay, in a perfect world, then I
would have the mental strength to not let anybody else
affect me. So I think a lot of these things
are good reminders and good practices. I don't necessarily think
they solve the problem, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah, this tale so old as time, because, like you said,
we've heard it before. She's rephrasing something that we've heard.
In my opinion, but I like the way she does it.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Like she's talking about she's a good writer, and she
and she's it's very relatable and she gives she gives
very specific examples from her own life.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, and it's not reclaiming your power, because I and
a lot of us here can easily like fall into
the trap of like why doesn't somebody like me, or
why doesn't somebody I don't know do this? Or if
I do this for somebody, why they're not doing it
back for me? Like I think like that all day.
I can literally to full time all day line and
think about why didn't invite me? Why didn't you do this?

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Why didn't I do the same thing?

Speaker 3 (05:04):
You know?

Speaker 1 (05:04):
And I ruinate about it. But I think the difference well,
and I shouldn't say the difference for me. I just
assume everything is my fault. Everything is, and I beat
myself up and I don't even know why, Like there
are situations in my life. I know why they're the
way they are. There are situations in my life. I
can honestly tell you I don't and I think about
those and I just I figure, it's my fault. And
the only way that I can fix it is to
just call and take the sword and just tell the

(05:26):
person everything's my fault. I'm so sorry. I did everything wrong.
And in this book, she's saying to you, no, don't
do that, because maybe it's not. In fact, there's a
very good chance it isn't. And so let them have
that opinion, let them say the things, let them do
the thing, and then control how you, you know, moving forward,
how you treat people, how you live your life. Now,

(05:47):
my problem with this is, and she's very clear about
how it's two parts, not one part. It's two parts.
It's let them and then let me. She's super clear
about that. My problem is, I think a lot of
people are going to read it as let them not
my fault. Hey, let them let them be a holes, well,
maybe let them be mean, let them not invite me well,
what about if they're not inviting you because you're not

(06:09):
treating them? Well, what about if they're not including you
because they don't like They actually don't like you because
you did something wrong. So my problem is, I think
for the I think it depends on your mindset. Like
she makes it clear, this is not her issue. She
makes it clear it's two part. I think a lot
of people are going to read it as let them,
just let them and then not change the way they
go about living their lives because I, unfortunately I tend

(06:33):
to know far more people who everything is everybody else's
fault than the other way around.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
I don't know. I don't know. I don't feel like
I know as many people who are willing to say
to look introspectively as quickly as they are to just say, well,
that's the it's their fault, it's their problem, they did it,
it's their fault. I didn't do this, you know what
I'm saying. So self awareness and accountability would be key
in applying this theory. But I don't. I think self
awareness is at a premium. Oh yes it is.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
It's got to be like super expensive right now, because
nobody has it.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
So that's all I'm saying is is read the book.
I encourage it. I respect her. I'd love to talk
to her. I'd love to interview her. But I guess
I say this with caution that it's important that you
are aware that you do play a role in the
direction that your life goes. Now, you can weigh yourself
down with the past, you can weigh yourself self down

(07:27):
with your mistakes. You can weigh yourself down with things
that you don't have anything to do with that are
affecting the way that you feel. And I think that's
her point is let go of that, let them do that, yeah,
and then you move forward. Don't be held back by
things you can't control.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Like the non invited thing is huge. I think more
people like let them because they are allowed to not
invite you to a post, of course, and a lot
of people think they're entitled to be invited to everything,
and there may be reasons why they're not.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
You know.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
So I think that's a great example of how to
use it.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Like, Okay, no, I agree, it was a great example
because I do feel this, like I'm a guy who
wants to be invited to everything, but I don't go
to very much because I'm an introvert and I use
all my words at work and I sit at home
and keep to myself and hope that one day my
DoorDash driver is my future wife. Yeah, that's what I hope,
because that's the only you know, physical contact I have
from Friday the Sunday. But at the same time, I

(08:14):
need to look I need to look introspectively and say, well,
part of the reason why I don't get invited to
everything is because I don't go, and that's my fault.
That's no one else's fault, you know what I mean.
It doesn't come from a place of malice, but sometimes
it does, but for the most part it doesn't. But
you know, I like the message. I just think it's
important that it's used in context. And she says that

(08:35):
in the book. I just don't know if everyone's going
to read it that way.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
That's true. She also covers other things, so I think
that are pretty cool. She'll talking about like showing up
or whatever, like online, or like like doing things that
you're like scared to do because we're all afraid of
people's opinions, right, Like I'm scared to post this video
because people a gonna think, oh wow, Paulina gives me
the yick with this video, and I'm terrified. But you know,
she's very honest. She goes, you know, everybody has thoughts
all day long, good and bad. We've all thought bad things,

(08:58):
and not only bad as in like harmful, but I
mean like just bad things about people we love. Oh
my mom annoyed me today, Oh my husband, all you
pissed me off, which is my life story. So like
things like that, you know, and doesn't mean I.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Don't love them.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
She's like, I absolutely love my kids, she says, or
my dog or whatever, but you know they bother me
all day long too.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
So well, and then she talks about parenting too, and
I guess at the end of the book, I haven't
gotten this far, but there's like sort of a more
precise guide to this. But you know, she even says
to her teenager's teenage children, like, let them let them
do some stuff. Now, there's obviously a line you can't
let them do anything. Yeah, but like, I don't think
a lot of parents are necessarily willing to say, let
my kid make this mistake that I'm watching them make

(09:38):
or let them act like an idiot right in front
of me, because you want to stop that and correct that.
But like, sometimes that mistake needs to be made in
order for you to then correct it and or for
them to learn. And so again, I mean she gets
into mores and she even says in the book like, hey, look,
this is not like carte blanche, Like you can't let
your kid do you know, black tar heroine, you know,

(09:59):
and right, and then correct it later, like you'd need
to parent. But there's a there's probably a line that
goes beyond what most parents are willing to tolerate that
that might be worth exploring for your kids to learn. Yep.
So I say read the book. I say respect the source.
I also say I read it. I'm like, Okay, in

(10:22):
a perfect world that works, but it's not always going
to work every time, you know what I mean, Like,
it's not. It does require a tremendous amount of mind
over matter, a tremendous amount of control over your emotion,
a tremendous amount of mental discipline. And so yeah, but
the hula hoop thing drives me nuts, and that's not
I don't think that's her thing that somebody else is saying,
control what you can control. But that's I get it.

(10:45):
But like, that doesn't mean it doesn't affect me negatively,
you know what I mean. Like, it doesn't mean that
the things I can't control aren't still hurtful and mean
and that I don't need to work through them.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
But then everyone would do it, Like that's why you
have to work towards not allowing it to affect your
hard or else we'd all be doing it.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, no, it's it's true. It's true. But again that's
I guess that's my thing is a lot of these books.
It's just like, well, okay, that's what I keep saying
to myself. Well, we're right if I can remember to
do it, you know. So it's a good reminder to
read the book and let me know what you say.