April 22, 2025 • 18 mins
Fred went on another Reddit thread and stumbled upon a question, "is it okay to honor your partner who has passed away and your wedding?" The crew is split and you won't want to miss this debate!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A Dude's fiance plans to wear her late husband's wedding
ring on a chain around her neck during the wedding
ceremony to the new guy. So her husband is dead okay,
and she's going to she wants to wear the wedding ring.
I guess his wedding ring that from when they were
(00:23):
married before he died, around her neck when she marries
another guy, the next guy.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
She says it's a quiet tribute to the guy she
once loved, who passed away in a tragic car accident
five years ago. She believes the laws shaped who she
is today and wants to carry that part of her
past into the new chapter. But her fiance's not feeling
great about him. He says it makes him feel like
he's sharing the most important day of his life with
someone who isn't there, and like he's somehow second place.
(00:52):
And people on the forum are torn. Some stood with
the groom, saying the wedding should be about the new relationship,
not the old one. Other's suggested a compromise, like a
symbolic gesture instead of wearing the ring. I would if
I'm being one percent transparent, if I'm keeping it on
on the reel, one hundred percent on the one.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
If I'm being one hundred with you.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay, please, I'm gonna be one hundred with you as
opposed to the ninety nine I usually am. I'm gonna
be one hundred. I wouldn't like him. I wouldn't like him.
I wouldn't like it. You wouldn't be either.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
No, I would not. Okay, good because you're.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Like, yeah, I know, I know, Fred, I know Fred,
You weak, little, weak little nugget.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
No. No, can you imagine if Hobby.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
In Vegas at the wedding had a ring around his
neck of a that he came to another woman who's dead.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
See, okay, I have compassion. You would not.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
No, I'm upset. I'd be bothered for sure. But like,
it's sad if that person tragically died.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean that's awful.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Nobody's saying that's not sad or awful, but like, yeah,
why are we I mean you're marrying me now? Like
this day be about us?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Why are we still reflecting on this person? I'm sorry
this person died. I'm sorry this person is not in
your life anymore. But the feeling that it would give
me is and It's pretty clear. If that dude weren't dead,
I wouldn't be standing here. You never would have chosen me,
This wouldn't even obviously, this wouldn't even be happening. True.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yes, well, I know that, but I don't think to
be reminded of that. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I don't need to be reminded of the person that
I'm marrying now and committing to the rest of my
life with would probably rather be with someone else if
they weren't dead.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Yeah, it takes a special kind of person to be
with a widow. I don't think everyone can do it.
But I'm in a similar situation. Actually, one of the
bachelorettes I have coming up, her previous boyfriend passed away
and it was tragic, and his mom wants to pay
for something on her bachelorette for a new guy. She's
getting married to a new guy and her mom, her
former boyfriend's mom, wants to pay for something for us,
(02:51):
like a table or a night.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
When we go out.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Yeah, and but some of my friends, which I don't
think it was their place to say, are like, no,
completely unacceptable, Like that's you should be doing that, Like
your fiance is going to be upset and I, I
don't know, I thought that that was kind of wild.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, yeah, thinking too.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It's kind of interesting, like I'm gonna pay for you
guys to go ahead and get hammered.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, for they did the best of the wedding. Dude.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yeah, But she, like I guess, feels like this is
the closest she's going to get to, Like I don't know,
her son getting married, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
She's like happy for her. She still talks to her.
So it is, but it is interesting, that's nice. It's something.
It'sn't even marrying a widow like U. It's not even.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
It's not even so much that it's it's okay, I'm
marrying a widow. So I'm already aware that you were
fully in love with another guy. I actually just happened
to a family member of mine, and I've never discussed
it with her. I've discussed it with her family though,
And this dude. Sadly, when on a business trip the
company had private jets. There were two private jets. Everybody
piled in one or the other. There was no rhyme
(03:52):
or reason one made it the other one didn't, and
so there was I don't know the inside of their relationship,
but from what I understand, they and they were relatively
newly married, like everything was fine, you know, and then
he's gone, right, so she moved on married another guy,
had kids with them, everything's great, and I wonder, like
I wonder, does that guy ever lay up at night
and be like, man, you know, if that dude hadn't
tragically died, like I wouldn't even be here. I wouldn't
(04:15):
have my kids, I wouldn't have any of this. Like
maybe I would have had it with somebody else, but
like that, I'm admitting that's an insecurity, but that would
get to me, I think, But but it's that that's life.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
But now I got it.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Now you've got to have like something tangible with you
at the wedding. To me, I'm trying to really like
sure resemble him, like guys we're moving on like right.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
At the wedding, probably not see if Hobby did that,
we wouldn't beat the little white wedding chapel. I think
we'd be honestly in therapy to work through that because
it's like, why would you want to include that on
your special day?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Are you really ready to do this?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
If we're still reflecting on the best I guess that
would be my question.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Have anything from their previous you know, marriage or like
a photo or anything.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I mean, and how it exists, like we could put
them away.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I'm not saying I don't want them, you know, like plastered,
I'm the living wall when you walk in. Probably not,
but I would still understand that this happened. Like you said,
it's a part of his history, right, I mean she
didn't do anything to me.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I mean she passed away.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Right, Theoretically, in this theory, we're doing like she passed away,
and I don't want him to forget her. But on
our special day, probably not. This is today is about
us because you're loving a not complete person. I feel
like at that point, like a part of their heart will.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Always be with the spouse that they thought they were
going to spend the rest of their life with.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And that's totally fair.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
But like you know, on our special day, at least
you know it's my wedding too, right, it's a two
people event. It's you know, because for yourself, I watched
that it can be a multiple person events where you live.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
You know it could be correct, it can be. But
my mind. For example, here we two of.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Us, right, That's why I'm saying I don't think everyone
can handle that situation.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I really don't think that I agree, just my opinion.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I mean, what, Jason, you're over here with this look
on your face of disgust, like honestly, like, okay, So,
so Mike the mechanic wants to marry you, and he's like, hey,
but this dude I hooked up with on grinder a
while ago, like, I need I need to make sure
that I he left his chain in my house.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
It's a little different, but for multiple years. Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
But honestly, though, do you want a person who is
who is essentially you're replacing them? I mean, okay, okay,
imagine this, imagine imagine okay, you're you're my beloved coworker, right,
you're my beloved co worker. God forbid, I hate this example,
but God forbid you decide I'm going to I'm I'm
(06:31):
gonna move on. I'm going to go and be Britney
Spears's manager. And everyone's happy, well sort of happy for you. Yeah,
I mean, like it's a little late in the game
for that, but you know, still, Okay, so you're gonna
be Britney Spears's manager. We're also happy for you. We're
clapping or whatever, and then you know, it's it's a
wonderful it's a wonderful biting like, you know, here's to
the jolly goodfellow whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Okay, So then we have to replace you. Sadly, it's terrible.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
But we have a picture of you right there in
your chair that stares at the new person every single
and it says, we miss so we miss you so much,
Jason Brown, you know, to the greatest person to ever
sit in this chair, Jason Brown, you know. And the
new person has to sit there and stare at that
all morning. I mean, it might be true, but what
(07:14):
I'm saying is nobody wants that daily reminder that like
there was somebody greater than me here.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
That's completely it is not at all. It is completely different.
This is someone passed away. I didn't die, but you're
not here anymore. I'm even crazier people I've somehow found them.
(07:42):
But that's so different. There's nothing like I can't even
imagine the pain of losing a spouse. So I look
at I have I have not been through that. There
I cannot say one single thing about how you deal
with it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
That pain is.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Like I can even think about how that makes you
feel like you can feel all you want, but I
would have to be fine with It's not like it's competition.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
He's gone, Yeah, but don't. Don't my feelings about this matter.
I'm marrying you now. It's about me now, it's not
about that person. I'm so sorry for what happened. But
I feel like if we're honoring your ex husband at
your new wedding, I mean, listen to that sentence, that doesn't.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Say anything about the grief and how she deals with it.
I'm sorry, absolutely my opinion. You didn't, you know, go
through that. She did, So whatever she needs to do
to feel better, that's what she gets to do.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, at your wedding. At your wedding, you're going to
honor another.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Jason.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
If someone died that they were married to, who am
I to say?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
You don't get too honestly, the new husband, It doesn't matter. Goodness,
pain quiet over here.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Oh, because I was trying to figure out whose side
I'm on today.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I want to be that's the coin. Yeah, there's the
right side today, the monster right, It's welcome it's nice
over here because it is dead.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
So like, literally, they're never going to be your competition,
competing with the goal.
Speaker 7 (09:12):
Never.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
I think if a person is still honoring their ex
husband at the wedding to the new person, you are
constantly being compared to that.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
First of all, it's just I'm wearing change, a symbol
of somebody I love that has passed on.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yes, it, I.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Mean for you would have to walk away, like if
it bother you, then you would have to say, listen,
this is not for me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I can't handle that. She's not wearing his chain, she's
wearing his wedding ring neck. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yes, now she can keep it. I don't melt it down.
I'm not trying to do I'm not trying to destroy
the human being. I mean, I'm we're moving on, We're
moving on to Cleveland. Hey, Roberta, Roberta, how you doing?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
What did you want to? This is nuts? You guys
are crazy.
Speaker 8 (10:02):
I agree with me either. Why why is he like
why is he comparing himself to a ghost? Like why
did you feel like he's in competition with him?
Speaker 9 (10:10):
Like she knew what he was.
Speaker 7 (10:11):
Getting me in to.
Speaker 8 (10:12):
He knew that she was a widow, and he knew
that she loved that she loved him.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
But isn't the memory enough?
Speaker 7 (10:17):
Think?
Speaker 8 (10:19):
I mean, it's bud what, Roberta, are you married?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Are you married? Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Would you have been okay with your husband honoring another
woman who he was previously married to at his wedding
to you? Come on, Roberta, come on, there's a time
and a place for this stuff. I'm not saying his memory.
I'm not saying that it wasn't They're not. It's a
fun time in your life. But I mean, so you
tell me when I when I take your clothes off
at end of the night, I gotta look at the
wedding ring of the dude from before.
Speaker 8 (10:52):
It's like a tattoo if somebody had a tattoo, you
know what, or the tramp stamps, you know, like it's
a little reminder. But why are you like he.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Knew who's getting a tramp stamp with him?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Roberto? What kind of tattoos you got? I'm worried about you.
Speaker 9 (11:09):
I got a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
How you doing?
Speaker 8 (11:12):
So? You know that some women get their their spousor's
names on them, although they shouldn't. But you know, it's
so it's like that, but like this person is dead,
Like why is he trying to like why is he
trying to compete with him?
Speaker 7 (11:27):
Right?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Why am I being reminded of him?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I guess it's going to be hard enough to just
came on's original point. The amount of trauma that must
you know, that you must endure to process something like
that is extreme, like and there's no one questioning that.
But I guess I would wonder if we're doing that,
are you really ready for me? I guess would be
the question that I would be asked.
Speaker 8 (11:50):
But do you not think that they had the conversation beforehand?
Like I'm sure that he was aware that he meant
something really special to her because that was her be
at some point, so he should have had that in
the back of his mind before he asked her to
marry him.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, but he also he's gone to read it because
he feels a little shocked by this gesture, like he
didn't see this.
Speaker 8 (12:11):
He's a man, he doesn't know how to communicate.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
I mean, he wrote very clearly. I read it so.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Day.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I don't think anyone's saying that you don't honor what was.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I just don't know if that's the time and the
place and the way to manifest him, because because I
do think you also have to consider how it makes
the person you're marrying feel.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
That person's feelings matter too in this but the grief
that comes with losing a spouse.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
And then I'm back at this wedding place where I
only saw this for my past husband, so it's like
it's something that made me makes her feel safe in
that moment to like I'm doing this again. I'm trying
to love again without the fear of losing this person again.
It's just a little sense of comfort, like a blanky.
I cannot bring my blanket, like you know, why is your.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Dead husband your comfort? I'm your comfort.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
It tastes a special and it's okay, Like everybody's feelings
are valid.
Speaker 6 (13:03):
If it's not working for you, that's okay, that's okay period.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Okay to want to Hi, Hi, Hey, so sad that
you were in a situation like this, and I am
sorry that you encountered this.
Speaker 9 (13:15):
Thank you. I was with someone for ten years. We
had three boys together, and unfortunately he passed away and
about fourish, almost five years later, I met someone out
we were married. My system off from my previous marriage
was my matrod of honor. Her husband helped pay for
our limo, and we're still very active in each other's lives.
(13:40):
We go on vacations together with each other's families and everything.
So I think it just depends on how mature you
take the situation. I'm sure that my husband probably feels
a certain way, but because we have children together, he
just wanted to give them as much love as he
could doing if they had a loss. So I just
(14:01):
think that sometimes you have to think about that person
is all over with you, and if it was you
that passed away, would you want your wife to forget
about you and never ever think about you ever again? No,
I think that's hard to say if you haven't been
in a situation.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
No to what, I wouldn't, But I also I wouldn't.
I guess I can tell you I wouldn't expect to
be honored in any way at her wedding to another man.
I don't think that's the time and the place. I'm
not saying that you shouldn't be friends with your I
mean everything that you just said is completely reasonable. You
have kids in a family. You didn't ask for any
of this, that's all reasonable. I just don't know why.
You know, we have the ice sculpture of the man
(14:38):
at the rehearsal, like I don't know, Like I don't know,
we don't we don't need to do that, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 9 (14:43):
Yeah, I sculpture might be a little much.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 9 (14:47):
She wanted to wear the necklace. I mean maybe not
on her neck per se, but maybe intertwining in her
garter or something like that. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I don't think we needed any closest to the virgin
than just think there's a time and a place. But hey,
and thank you for sharing. And I'm sorry that happened
to you. And I appreciate your perspective.
Speaker 9 (15:09):
Your friend, and I hope that everything turned out great
for her.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Luckily I don't know this person, because if I did,
I wouldn't I would be uninvited to the wedding.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Hey, Kyle, how you doing? Good morning?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Hey? Turn the radio down, Kyle, please, Okay, there you go.
Hey man, what do you want to say? Go ahead?
Speaker 7 (15:27):
Hey, I'm just saying I agree with you. I mean
the guy unfortunately he passed away. But at the same time,
like he don't need to remember that at my wedding
because hey, this is my day, Like why you take
my tign off of me? And no, it's not about
being a competition or anything. But how would you feel
if I wore my ex wife's ringing and she passed away,
You're gonna have a whole fee. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I don't think that would go over very well with
very many people. But thank you, Kyle, have a good day.
I appreciate you. No, but somebody said, here's the thing
somebody said on here. What did they say, Fred isn't
ready to marry a widow because he's not accepting it
for fully. First of all, I don't know what you're
talking about. That is it is case by case. I'm
talking about a particular case where it seems like a
woman is not necessarily over her previous marriage. That's what
(16:10):
it seems like to me. But I don't think we're
considering the other side of this. I think we're only
considering the needs of this woman. Okay, because as a
guy who has dated people who have lost their previous
significant other, I'm accepting of that person's situation. But I
think that person needs to be accepting of mine, which
is that I'm going to be insecure about this man
(16:33):
that you loved and didn't do anything wrong. This isn't
a breakup, this isn't a divorce. I mean, you know,
everything was fine and then they were gone, and that
is awful, right, But like that's going to be difficult
for me too, So why why are we Why do
we have to put that in my face on that day?
I guess it'll be the question that I'm asking because
as much as I am going to be obviously i'm
(16:54):
marrying you, I'm accepting of of whatever you've been through.
I think you also have to accept the fact that, wow,
I wouldn't even be here if that hadn't happened. And
you know, that's a significant relationship that ended with zero closure.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Did they say how long she had been widowed before
they started to get marry.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
It didn't say. And by the way, someone says that
screams insecurity. Yeah, I said that from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
It does. I'm insecure about it. I'm very honest. I'm
telling you. I know it's an unpopular opinion. I'm just
telling you what I think and I respect that. I
respect that. I mean, I think we should all be
able to say our opinion. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I did say from the beginning when I told you
I was keeping it on the reel. It's an unpopular opinion,
and you guys can cli on me all day, but
that's what I think. Oh, I havelf agree with you,
and it would be it would absolutely be an insecurity.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Absolutely it would be because I don't know if you
ever get over that, because it wasn't there's no closure,
there wasn't any problem. Yeah, so it's like you say,
she's not over it. I wonder if you ever do.
I mean, who knows. I couldn't speak on it.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
But let's do the biggest stories of the day. Next.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
God got Bruno mars Now back in three It's the
French show.
A Dude's fiance plans to wear her late husband's wedding
ring on a chain around her neck during the wedding
ceremony to the new guy. So her husband is dead okay,
and she's going to she wants to wear the wedding ring.
I guess his wedding ring that from when they were
(00:23):
married before he died, around her neck when she marries
another guy, the next guy.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
She says it's a quiet tribute to the guy she
once loved, who passed away in a tragic car accident
five years ago. She believes the laws shaped who she
is today and wants to carry that part of her
past into the new chapter. But her fiance's not feeling
great about him. He says it makes him feel like
he's sharing the most important day of his life with
someone who isn't there, and like he's somehow second place.
(00:52):
And people on the forum are torn. Some stood with
the groom, saying the wedding should be about the new relationship,
not the old one. Other's suggested a compromise, like a
symbolic gesture instead of wearing the ring. I would if
I'm being one percent transparent, if I'm keeping it on
on the reel, one hundred percent on the one.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
If I'm being one hundred with you.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay, please, I'm gonna be one hundred with you as
opposed to the ninety nine I usually am. I'm gonna
be one hundred. I wouldn't like him. I wouldn't like him.
I wouldn't like it. You wouldn't be either.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
No, I would not. Okay, good because you're.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Like, yeah, I know, I know, Fred, I know Fred,
You weak, little, weak little nugget.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
No. No, can you imagine if Hobby.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
In Vegas at the wedding had a ring around his
neck of a that he came to another woman who's dead.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
See, okay, I have compassion. You would not.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
No, I'm upset. I'd be bothered for sure. But like,
it's sad if that person tragically died.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean that's awful.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Nobody's saying that's not sad or awful, but like, yeah,
why are we I mean you're marrying me now? Like
this day be about us?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Why are we still reflecting on this person? I'm sorry
this person died. I'm sorry this person is not in
your life anymore. But the feeling that it would give
me is and It's pretty clear. If that dude weren't dead,
I wouldn't be standing here. You never would have chosen me,
This wouldn't even obviously, this wouldn't even be happening. True.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yes, well, I know that, but I don't think to
be reminded of that. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I don't need to be reminded of the person that
I'm marrying now and committing to the rest of my
life with would probably rather be with someone else if
they weren't dead.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Yeah, it takes a special kind of person to be
with a widow. I don't think everyone can do it.
But I'm in a similar situation. Actually, one of the
bachelorettes I have coming up, her previous boyfriend passed away
and it was tragic, and his mom wants to pay
for something on her bachelorette for a new guy. She's
getting married to a new guy and her mom, her
former boyfriend's mom, wants to pay for something for us,
(02:51):
like a table or a night.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
When we go out.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Yeah, and but some of my friends, which I don't
think it was their place to say, are like, no,
completely unacceptable, Like that's you should be doing that, Like
your fiance is going to be upset and I, I
don't know, I thought that that was kind of wild.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, yeah, thinking too.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It's kind of interesting, like I'm gonna pay for you
guys to go ahead and get hammered.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, for they did the best of the wedding. Dude.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yeah, But she, like I guess, feels like this is
the closest she's going to get to, Like I don't know,
her son getting married, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
She's like happy for her. She still talks to her.
So it is, but it is interesting, that's nice. It's something.
It'sn't even marrying a widow like U. It's not even.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
It's not even so much that it's it's okay, I'm
marrying a widow. So I'm already aware that you were
fully in love with another guy. I actually just happened
to a family member of mine, and I've never discussed
it with her. I've discussed it with her family though,
And this dude. Sadly, when on a business trip the
company had private jets. There were two private jets. Everybody
piled in one or the other. There was no rhyme
(03:52):
or reason one made it the other one didn't, and
so there was I don't know the inside of their relationship,
but from what I understand, they and they were relatively
newly married, like everything was fine, you know, and then
he's gone, right, so she moved on married another guy,
had kids with them, everything's great, and I wonder, like
I wonder, does that guy ever lay up at night
and be like, man, you know, if that dude hadn't
tragically died, like I wouldn't even be here. I wouldn't
(04:15):
have my kids, I wouldn't have any of this. Like
maybe I would have had it with somebody else, but
like that, I'm admitting that's an insecurity, but that would
get to me, I think, But but it's that that's life.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
But now I got it.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Now you've got to have like something tangible with you
at the wedding. To me, I'm trying to really like
sure resemble him, like guys we're moving on like right.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
At the wedding, probably not see if Hobby did that,
we wouldn't beat the little white wedding chapel. I think
we'd be honestly in therapy to work through that because
it's like, why would you want to include that on
your special day?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Are you really ready to do this?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
If we're still reflecting on the best I guess that
would be my question.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Have anything from their previous you know, marriage or like
a photo or anything.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I mean, and how it exists, like we could put
them away.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I'm not saying I don't want them, you know, like plastered,
I'm the living wall when you walk in. Probably not,
but I would still understand that this happened. Like you said,
it's a part of his history, right, I mean she
didn't do anything to me.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I mean she passed away.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Right, Theoretically, in this theory, we're doing like she passed away,
and I don't want him to forget her. But on
our special day, probably not. This is today is about
us because you're loving a not complete person. I feel
like at that point, like a part of their heart will.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Always be with the spouse that they thought they were
going to spend the rest of their life with.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And that's totally fair.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
But like you know, on our special day, at least
you know it's my wedding too, right, it's a two
people event. It's you know, because for yourself, I watched
that it can be a multiple person events where you live.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
You know it could be correct, it can be. But
my mind. For example, here we two of.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Us, right, That's why I'm saying I don't think everyone
can handle that situation.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I really don't think that I agree, just my opinion.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I mean, what, Jason, you're over here with this look
on your face of disgust, like honestly, like, okay, So,
so Mike the mechanic wants to marry you, and he's like, hey,
but this dude I hooked up with on grinder a
while ago, like, I need I need to make sure
that I he left his chain in my house.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
It's a little different, but for multiple years. Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
But honestly, though, do you want a person who is
who is essentially you're replacing them? I mean, okay, okay,
imagine this, imagine imagine okay, you're you're my beloved coworker, right,
you're my beloved co worker. God forbid, I hate this example,
but God forbid you decide I'm going to I'm I'm
(06:31):
gonna move on. I'm going to go and be Britney
Spears's manager. And everyone's happy, well sort of happy for you. Yeah,
I mean, like it's a little late in the game
for that, but you know, still, Okay, so you're gonna
be Britney Spears's manager. We're also happy for you. We're
clapping or whatever, and then you know, it's it's a
wonderful it's a wonderful biting like, you know, here's to
the jolly goodfellow whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Okay, So then we have to replace you. Sadly, it's terrible.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
But we have a picture of you right there in
your chair that stares at the new person every single
and it says, we miss so we miss you so much,
Jason Brown, you know, to the greatest person to ever
sit in this chair, Jason Brown, you know. And the
new person has to sit there and stare at that
all morning. I mean, it might be true, but what
(07:14):
I'm saying is nobody wants that daily reminder that like
there was somebody greater than me here.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
That's completely it is not at all. It is completely different.
This is someone passed away. I didn't die, but you're
not here anymore. I'm even crazier people I've somehow found them.
(07:42):
But that's so different. There's nothing like I can't even
imagine the pain of losing a spouse. So I look
at I have I have not been through that. There
I cannot say one single thing about how you deal
with it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
That pain is.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Like I can even think about how that makes you
feel like you can feel all you want, but I
would have to be fine with It's not like it's competition.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
He's gone, Yeah, but don't. Don't my feelings about this matter.
I'm marrying you now. It's about me now, it's not
about that person. I'm so sorry for what happened. But
I feel like if we're honoring your ex husband at
your new wedding, I mean, listen to that sentence, that doesn't.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Say anything about the grief and how she deals with it.
I'm sorry, absolutely my opinion. You didn't, you know, go
through that. She did, So whatever she needs to do
to feel better, that's what she gets to do.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, at your wedding. At your wedding, you're going to
honor another.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Jason.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
If someone died that they were married to, who am
I to say?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
You don't get too honestly, the new husband, It doesn't matter. Goodness,
pain quiet over here.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Oh, because I was trying to figure out whose side
I'm on today.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I want to be that's the coin. Yeah, there's the
right side today, the monster right, It's welcome it's nice
over here because it is dead.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
So like, literally, they're never going to be your competition,
competing with the goal.
Speaker 7 (09:12):
Never.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
I think if a person is still honoring their ex
husband at the wedding to the new person, you are
constantly being compared to that.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
First of all, it's just I'm wearing change, a symbol
of somebody I love that has passed on.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yes, it, I.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Mean for you would have to walk away, like if
it bother you, then you would have to say, listen,
this is not for me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I can't handle that. She's not wearing his chain, she's
wearing his wedding ring neck. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yes, now she can keep it. I don't melt it down.
I'm not trying to do I'm not trying to destroy
the human being. I mean, I'm we're moving on, We're
moving on to Cleveland. Hey, Roberta, Roberta, how you doing?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
What did you want to? This is nuts? You guys
are crazy.
Speaker 8 (10:02):
I agree with me either. Why why is he like
why is he comparing himself to a ghost? Like why
did you feel like he's in competition with him?
Speaker 9 (10:10):
Like she knew what he was.
Speaker 7 (10:11):
Getting me in to.
Speaker 8 (10:12):
He knew that she was a widow, and he knew
that she loved that she loved him.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
But isn't the memory enough?
Speaker 7 (10:17):
Think?
Speaker 8 (10:19):
I mean, it's bud what, Roberta, are you married?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Are you married? Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Would you have been okay with your husband honoring another
woman who he was previously married to at his wedding
to you? Come on, Roberta, come on, there's a time
and a place for this stuff. I'm not saying his memory.
I'm not saying that it wasn't They're not. It's a
fun time in your life. But I mean, so you
tell me when I when I take your clothes off
at end of the night, I gotta look at the
wedding ring of the dude from before.
Speaker 8 (10:52):
It's like a tattoo if somebody had a tattoo, you
know what, or the tramp stamps, you know, like it's
a little reminder. But why are you like he.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Knew who's getting a tramp stamp with him?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Roberto? What kind of tattoos you got? I'm worried about you.
Speaker 9 (11:09):
I got a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
How you doing?
Speaker 8 (11:12):
So? You know that some women get their their spousor's
names on them, although they shouldn't. But you know, it's
so it's like that, but like this person is dead,
Like why is he trying to like why is he
trying to compete with him?
Speaker 7 (11:27):
Right?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Why am I being reminded of him?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I guess it's going to be hard enough to just
came on's original point. The amount of trauma that must
you know, that you must endure to process something like
that is extreme, like and there's no one questioning that.
But I guess I would wonder if we're doing that,
are you really ready for me? I guess would be
the question that I would be asked.
Speaker 8 (11:50):
But do you not think that they had the conversation beforehand?
Like I'm sure that he was aware that he meant
something really special to her because that was her be
at some point, so he should have had that in
the back of his mind before he asked her to
marry him.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, but he also he's gone to read it because
he feels a little shocked by this gesture, like he
didn't see this.
Speaker 8 (12:11):
He's a man, he doesn't know how to communicate.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
I mean, he wrote very clearly. I read it so.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Day.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I don't think anyone's saying that you don't honor what was.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I just don't know if that's the time and the
place and the way to manifest him, because because I
do think you also have to consider how it makes
the person you're marrying feel.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
That person's feelings matter too in this but the grief
that comes with losing a spouse.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
And then I'm back at this wedding place where I
only saw this for my past husband, so it's like
it's something that made me makes her feel safe in
that moment to like I'm doing this again. I'm trying
to love again without the fear of losing this person again.
It's just a little sense of comfort, like a blanky.
I cannot bring my blanket, like you know, why is your.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Dead husband your comfort? I'm your comfort.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
It tastes a special and it's okay, Like everybody's feelings
are valid.
Speaker 6 (13:03):
If it's not working for you, that's okay, that's okay period.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Okay to want to Hi, Hi, Hey, so sad that
you were in a situation like this, and I am
sorry that you encountered this.
Speaker 9 (13:15):
Thank you. I was with someone for ten years. We
had three boys together, and unfortunately he passed away and
about fourish, almost five years later, I met someone out
we were married. My system off from my previous marriage
was my matrod of honor. Her husband helped pay for
our limo, and we're still very active in each other's lives.
(13:40):
We go on vacations together with each other's families and everything.
So I think it just depends on how mature you
take the situation. I'm sure that my husband probably feels
a certain way, but because we have children together, he
just wanted to give them as much love as he
could doing if they had a loss. So I just
(14:01):
think that sometimes you have to think about that person
is all over with you, and if it was you
that passed away, would you want your wife to forget
about you and never ever think about you ever again? No,
I think that's hard to say if you haven't been
in a situation.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
No to what, I wouldn't, But I also I wouldn't.
I guess I can tell you I wouldn't expect to
be honored in any way at her wedding to another man.
I don't think that's the time and the place. I'm
not saying that you shouldn't be friends with your I
mean everything that you just said is completely reasonable. You
have kids in a family. You didn't ask for any
of this, that's all reasonable. I just don't know why.
You know, we have the ice sculpture of the man
(14:38):
at the rehearsal, like I don't know, Like I don't know,
we don't we don't need to do that, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 9 (14:43):
Yeah, I sculpture might be a little much.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 9 (14:47):
She wanted to wear the necklace. I mean maybe not
on her neck per se, but maybe intertwining in her
garter or something like that. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I don't think we needed any closest to the virgin
than just think there's a time and a place. But hey,
and thank you for sharing. And I'm sorry that happened
to you. And I appreciate your perspective.
Speaker 9 (15:09):
Your friend, and I hope that everything turned out great
for her.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Luckily I don't know this person, because if I did,
I wouldn't I would be uninvited to the wedding.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Hey, Kyle, how you doing? Good morning?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Hey? Turn the radio down, Kyle, please, Okay, there you go.
Hey man, what do you want to say? Go ahead?
Speaker 7 (15:27):
Hey, I'm just saying I agree with you. I mean
the guy unfortunately he passed away. But at the same time,
like he don't need to remember that at my wedding
because hey, this is my day, Like why you take
my tign off of me? And no, it's not about
being a competition or anything. But how would you feel
if I wore my ex wife's ringing and she passed away,
You're gonna have a whole fee. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I don't think that would go over very well with
very many people. But thank you, Kyle, have a good day.
I appreciate you. No, but somebody said, here's the thing
somebody said on here. What did they say, Fred isn't
ready to marry a widow because he's not accepting it
for fully. First of all, I don't know what you're
talking about. That is it is case by case. I'm
talking about a particular case where it seems like a
woman is not necessarily over her previous marriage. That's what
(16:10):
it seems like to me. But I don't think we're
considering the other side of this. I think we're only
considering the needs of this woman. Okay, because as a
guy who has dated people who have lost their previous
significant other, I'm accepting of that person's situation. But I
think that person needs to be accepting of mine, which
is that I'm going to be insecure about this man
(16:33):
that you loved and didn't do anything wrong. This isn't
a breakup, this isn't a divorce. I mean, you know,
everything was fine and then they were gone, and that
is awful, right, But like that's going to be difficult
for me too, So why why are we Why do
we have to put that in my face on that day?
I guess it'll be the question that I'm asking because
as much as I am going to be obviously i'm
(16:54):
marrying you, I'm accepting of of whatever you've been through.
I think you also have to accept the fact that, wow,
I wouldn't even be here if that hadn't happened. And
you know, that's a significant relationship that ended with zero closure.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Did they say how long she had been widowed before
they started to get marry.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
It didn't say. And by the way, someone says that
screams insecurity. Yeah, I said that from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
It does. I'm insecure about it. I'm very honest. I'm
telling you. I know it's an unpopular opinion. I'm just
telling you what I think and I respect that. I
respect that. I mean, I think we should all be
able to say our opinion. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I did say from the beginning when I told you
I was keeping it on the reel. It's an unpopular opinion,
and you guys can cli on me all day, but
that's what I think. Oh, I havelf agree with you,
and it would be it would absolutely be an insecurity.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Absolutely it would be because I don't know if you
ever get over that, because it wasn't there's no closure,
there wasn't any problem. Yeah, so it's like you say,
she's not over it. I wonder if you ever do.
I mean, who knows. I couldn't speak on it.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
But let's do the biggest stories of the day. Next.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
God got Bruno mars Now back in three It's the
French show.
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