May 27, 2025 • 17 mins
Hannah is concerned after her boyfriend wouldn't let her look at his phone... Fred and the crew weigh in on this issue.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Fresh Show is on.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It's stay or go all right, Hannah is here, by
the way, you can always get us your story dm
us and all the socials, Fread Show Radio, d Friend Show,
TikTok and Fredshow Radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hannah, Good morning, Good morning, Hi Hannah.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
So you have this boyfriend a year and a half,
it says, and y'all are fighting, and so you thought, well,
I'm gonna call the Fred Show and these guys will
solve the problem for me. So yeah, sure, we'll brainstorm altogether.
Now what's going on? What are you fighting about with
this man?
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Well, like, we usually have a really good relationship, but
I really just want some advice on like phone.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Etiquette, phone etiquette. Okay, what's this guy doing with his phone?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
So Leanda and I were sitting on the couch and
he just started laughing at his phone. So I asked
him what's funny and he told me, oh, it's nothing.
It's just our boy chat, our boys group chat. And
I asked like, oh, well, can I see it? Like
I you know, I just want to understand like what
the joke is, because you're you seem to be having
a really good time, and he pulled it away and
(01:08):
was like, oh, it's private.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Okay, Well, I mean all right, so you he's over
there first of all. I mean, I guess you could
argue that it's rude if he's just sitting there with
you and then he's on his phone and obsessed with that,
But I mean, okay, it happens. I mean, do you
guys live together or or just spend a lot of
time together.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Yeah, we lived together. I don't know. I just felt like,
there's nothing on my phone I wouldn't share.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
So the guy's minding his own business.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
He's in the boys chat or whatever, the guy's chat,
and he doesn't really want to show it to you now,
And you're saying that he could see the girls chat,
because I mean, the group chat is a thing he could.
You wouldn't mind if he went into your phone and
read through that, scrolled through all the things that you've
said to them. No, really, no, huh. You know how
I feel about this. So, guys, everybody has a right
(01:56):
to privacy. Everybody has a right to an outlet. And
I don't think that everything is I'm looking at you,
pump now. I don't think that everything has to be
seen by everybody all the time. Like, I think he
has a right to have a communication with his friends
that he knows is a safe place that he doesn't
have to get, you know, spell checked and content approved.
(02:19):
And I think everyone's entitled to that. And I'm sorry,
but if someone tells you that they don't have anything
like that, I don't believe them. I believe they have
a fake email or you know, an email somewhere you
don't know about, or something not because that there's necessarily
anything nefarious going on. But I think it's just human.
It's human for people to have their own stuff. I mean,
how would you feel if he kind of just lingered
(02:39):
at girls' night when all you guys are sitting there
doing whatever you guys do, talking about you know whatever.
Would you want him just sitting there 'reing an icy
just listening to that. I mean no, because I would
imagine I'm going to answer it for you. I would
guess know, because you want a place where you can
go and not that you're there trashing him or anybody else.
But don't you want to feel like you can communicate
(03:00):
freely without being judged?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Yeah, I guess I just worry that like it's about
me or like something that is kind of bad, but
that is assuming the worst.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
If he's talking negatively about you to his friends, you
got bigger problems than the group chat in my opinion.
So if you have no reason to believe that he
would say anything bad about you, then I don't. I
don't know why you bother yourself with it, like let
him have it right, right?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
But yeah, well see.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Let me let me see, by the way, what everybody
has to say. Eight five, five, five nine one one
oh three five. Do you think that if you're in
a relationship, that you should have access to your partner's
group chat? Now?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
We don't saying I don't really have one. There's there's
not one chat in my phone. I mean there are
situational group chats where like three or four of us
are going out, so we're all on a message thing
or whatever, or like you know, if there's a bachelor
party or something, everyone's on the on a group chat.
But like I wouldn't say there's one consistent group chat.
But I have tech messages among friends that are just
(04:02):
stupid that I wouldn't want anyone to see because I
wouldn't want to be judged by that stupidity, but I don't.
I don't necessarily think that my phone should be a
fair game, not because I'm doing anything I shouldn't be doing,
but because it's kind of like that's mine, Like it's
smile and it's like it's a little bit of your
phone's kind of an insight into what's going on in
your brain. The same way that I wouldn't want people
(04:23):
to see my searches, not because they're all porn, they're
not all sexual, but like I don't know, if I
have a question in my brain about anything, I'll google
it because I want the answer, and I don't necessarily
think the same way that if you take an inventory
of everything we talk about on this show every day,
it looks totally random. I think if you looked at
everything I searched in a given day, it looked totally random.
(04:44):
I mean, yesterday it was about horses, right, you know,
the gestation period of horses and why it took a
year for this horse to be born and why the
mom doesn't like it, among other things.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
But that's you might look at that and go, what
the hell are you doing?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
So don't I don't know, Hannah, I mean, would you
want your for to go through every inch of your phone.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
I just feel like, like you said, it's like someone's brain.
So if I can't know what's happening in his brain
or in his phone, like I steel.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
A distance, but maybe you don't want to know, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Like, I don't think everybody wants to know what's happening
inside of me, as long as I'm being faithful and
honest and a good human being to you, Like, let
me have my my little space. Like if the guy
had a diary, would you want to read it? I
mean you woul might want to, but would you think
you have a right to read it? Because I don't
necessarily think this is all that different. I think friendly
communication is privileged.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Y maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
All right, Well, let me take some phone calls on
this hand, and I want to hear what Paulina has
to say because I know she disagrees with me, and uh,
and we'll go from there. But good luck, Hannah, thanks
for calling.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I eight five five five three five. You can call
and text this same number. Pe you go ahead. Why
do you think that you should be able to see
Hobby's group chat?
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Well, here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
I feel like, if you guys know the thing, it
is like if you have nothing to hide, then like
whatever I see, I know hobbies. So if they're talking
about sports, which that's what they're talking about, or this
or that or some story something happened, like I probably
already know about it, and that's fine. I don't read
their messages because I can't dissect it. I don't understand
like sports talk and bro talk like when straight men
gets together. I don't understand sometimes and that's what I've
(06:21):
gotten from there. But I have been in a situation
where you know, he's slapping at his phone and I
was kind of like, what's so funny kind of thing?
And he was like, oh, just a group chat. But
I'm like, but what's so funny? And then my insecurities
kick in and I admit it, and I'm like, oh, Mary,
you're talking about like big boobs and stuff. I know
you are, like you're talking about other women, Like I
just like my mind went crazy.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Yeah, And he was like, do you want to see and.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
I was like, well I did, but I was like no,
I don't, and he's like, we're talking about I don't
know something. Some comedian things something happened, I've some scandal
whatever in the sports world. I don't care, And I
was like, all right, cool, have your space, have your whatever.
The only thing is I know Freddie and I talked
about this too, like we don't have like those like
group chats, like my group chats are are truly so silly,
Like there's no scandal in the group chat, there's no
(06:59):
like crazy girl talk.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Like it's honestly the stupidest stuff you've ever see.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
So if how he wants to see it, like if
he judges me, that's wild because he already knows I've
said most of this stuff out lout or he knows
how I think he can look through whatever he wants.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I truly don't care.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I must say something, and I want you to hear
what I'm saying because I mean it wholeheartedly, even though
it might sound a little mean.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You are well.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
The first part is, I mean, you are a capable, strong, confident,
powerful woman.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Seriously, and there's no button.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
When you do stuff like that, it's devaluing all of
those qualities about yourself because you're You're all it's giving
is control and insecurity. But you don't you don't need
to see that you're married to a guy who you're confident,
I believe wouldn't cheat on you.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
He is upholding his values.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
It's your desire to have all the information, to have control,
and I don't think, and I think what happens is
you're you're actually devaluing your own self by doing that,
because you have all these other qualities. But when it's
when it's let me see, let me see, or what
are you doing? What are you doing? You want to
see it? No, it's a game that you shouldn't play
because you don't need to play it because people are
entitled to have private communication. And if you don't trust
(08:07):
what he's saying, that's a completely different problem.
Speaker 6 (08:10):
I agree with that, And it's weirdly not even about trust.
For I think it's a control thing. Like I have
control issues, like when we drive places, I have to
drive the vehicle.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I won't be a passenger princess.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah, I have control issues.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
If you and I were married, I would never let
you drive the vehicle because I've seen you drive a vehicle.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
So my control is she would be my life and preserving.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
Yes, well tell that the hobby. But I just I
can't like let him drive the car. I think it
just it could just be for me wanting to see
what they're talking about.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
Well, I trust him, I believe him. I don't care.
They're talking about the stupidest stuff I've ever seen in
my life.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I don't care. Well, there you go. Well, then problem solved.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
But that only happened one time, and after that I
was like, Okay, I'm not even gonna like butt in
on these random combos.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Bridget how you doing, good morning, good morning, Hey, love
you too, thanks for listening. So this is this woman.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
She's upset because she feels like something's going on in
the group chat, like she's missing out, like she's not
part of something, or or maybe they're talking about her,
And so she believes that she should get to see
it of her boyfriend of a year and a half.
And I argue, no, I don't think that she should.
What do you think?
Speaker 7 (09:14):
I'm actually with you on this one?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I have this one.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I got to qualify it on this one.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
On this one, I say a lot of things that
make sense.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
Usually i'm with ladies, but I was actually in a
marriage where the expectation was that I show my phone.
I'm no longer in that marriage and in a new
relationship where there is absolutely no expectation because we trust
each other. And I'm not blaming the caller for, you know,
having concerns, but if there's concerns, there's a deeper issue there,
(09:47):
Like I have nothing to hide, and I would happily
show my partner on the phone at any time, but
there's no need or expectation for me to do so.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
If I were in a relationship, I don't necessarily think
every community I have with my closest friends would make
would make my partner feel good because I'm allowed to
have thoughts that about other people or other things. I mean,
I'm not on there saying like I'm with an awful
human being or something. But like, let's say I get
in a fight with my sgnificant other, or let's say
my friend is having a tough time in his marriage
(10:18):
or something and he wants to he has every right
to have an outlet and to communicate those things. And
being as though he trusts me and I trust him, well,
that's that's a lock box, right, Like it's never getting anywhere.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
But I agree, and if you were agree his.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Wife or somebody. I'm making this up because it's not happening.
But if if his girlfriend or wife or somewhere to
read this communication that's between the two of us, it
could cause a lot of problems because it's what's going
on in his head that he probably wouldn't say to her.
But maybe saying it to me and working it out
before he says it to her is actually to her benefit.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Right right, I agree? I agree, But that that goes
back to the whole problem of her concern that there's
something there, and if there is, that's a deeper issue
that they need to talk about.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, I agree with that. Bridget Thank you so much
for calling him for listening. Have a good day.
Speaker 7 (11:04):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
You gotta love the stuff go with with his phone.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Doing better. I'm doing better, slowly, but surely therapy is helping.
This conversation is helping.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
I don't go through it like that freely, because again,
I don't want him to think that exactly about me,
like this little insecure woman that I'm married to. I
don't want my husband to think of me like that.
It's just very tempting when it's sitting there and I'm like,
what are the boys up to today. What are y'all
talking about?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Why are you so quiet? Kiky? I figured you have
something to say about this.
Speaker 8 (11:30):
Well, group chats don't really bother me because that's everybody
in there, just yeah, and I don't care about that.
I want to know why you text a piece of
hood like stuff like that, Like I'm looking who is
actually Buffalo woild Wings in your phone?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Because you know, yes, I text Pizza Hut all the time.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
That's a green flag, right like Pizza Hut.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
And I are constantly Actually it's more like Jet's pizza.
And you can text them, by the way, which is funny.
That's just an option to text them to deliver your pizza. Yeah,
so if you see Jet's pizza in someone's phone book,
that's real.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
See, I'm checking numbers and stuff like that. And then
I think Hannah's issue is girl, you never show it
in the moment you know he's over thereikikiki ha ha ha.
I'm going to be like, oh, I know what I'm
doing later. You know I would never do it. Wow,
you know I would never be like what do you know?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Are you guys snooping? Like it's never It's not good
for so many reasons. Hey Selena, good morning, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Good morning? What did you want to say?
Speaker 9 (12:25):
I just wanted to say that she really needs to
stop being so insecure, and not only should she respect
his privacy, but also the privacy of his friends. And
if you feel that you can't trust him because he's
laughing with his friends, and I think you're in the
wrong relationship, honey.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Because yeah, Selena, I'll tell you what is going on
in my messages. It's me, you know, spending all day
looking up content for the show, and I stumbled across
something that's funny, and I sent it to my friend
and some of it is just ridiculous, Like some of
it is so ridiculous, stupid, immature, whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I wouldn't want to be judged on that.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
But like my friend knows that that's you know, if
I see something it's like ha ha funny to that
person and I send it to them. But I wouldn't
want to be judged on what I'm sending to my
friends or or every thought I have in my brain
or every dumb inside joke that we have. It doesn't
mean that I'm sleeping with ten other women, you know.
But I also don't want to have to explain the context.
Sometimes I shouldn't have to.
Speaker 9 (13:21):
Well, here's another thing. What if one of his friends
is sharing something like that and she could be friends
with one of the friend's girlfriends or something.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
And that's how you get your group girl, fend, that's
how you get your set kicked out.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
You know.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
It's like the rules of flight club. You know what
I mean. Thank you still have a good day. You're
welcome falling across your arms.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
What So I just had a thought because this actually
did happen to me, But what is what do you
do right? When my husband asks me when I'm doing
the keky cock CODs myself and I'm laughing.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Because while you going kek co.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Ha, that one like this group and this room in
the Freend show, we have a group chat, and that's true,
we do.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
It's gone off a couple of times, and I've actually laughed.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
I've giggled, and he's got He's asked me, oh, like,
what's so funny kind of things?
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I'm looking at my phone, I'm laughing.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
I have no issue straight up telling him like what
is making me laugh? And there's actually a story to it,
So I'll big well, this happened on the show today,
or this happened behind the scenes, and this is why
we're laughing about it. So like, why can't he do
that for me? Now that I'm thinking about it, Why
is it that like, oh, don't worry about him sent
secularity like.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
But with him, he asked that same question, and I
have no problem telling him.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I mean, because it's funny if I would start a fight.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
If I'm sitting on the couch next to you and
I'm laughing hysterically at something and We're just sitting there
in quiet and I'm just I'm staring at my phone
and laughing hysterically, I mean, that would be rude not
to include someone and in you know, whatever's making you
happy in that moment.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
That would be strange.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Like, but I'm you know, if I'm just sitting there
texting and we're just mine on our own business or whatever,
I don't think I should have to show you every
action I'm making on my phone, not at all, you
know what I mean. But like if I laugh out
loud and something, I mean, I might you an explanation
of some kind, but I'm not going to hand the
thing over for you to do.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
A comp audit.
Speaker 6 (15:04):
No, just let me know the story, just just like
fill me and I want to laugh with you too.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
If it's that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Funny, I I get, yeah, well, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 5 (15:11):
It's friendly conversations.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
That's different than being like hey, right, let me give.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Me hey Carla, Hey, hey Carla.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
So just to recap here, this woman's upset because she
feels like her boyfriend's in this group chat with his
buddies and she wants to know what's going on in there.
And she feels kind of like she has a right
to know, and you know, I argue that she doesn't.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 10 (15:33):
I mean, okay, so how many times have you said
something to your partner and then they don't get it
and they're like that, or they'll give you a logical explanation.
Your group chat will give you all the delulute stuff
that you want to listen to. Also, I am in
a group chat that's an all male group chat except
for me, and my husband's also in it, so I
get an insight into all the crazy stuff that they think.
(15:58):
And let me tell you, I want to know. They
say such wild, crazy things. It's so unhinged and I
feel privileged that I get to be in it. So
I have to remember sometimes like, oh snap, I am
part of the group, I'm part of the boys. I
have to be cool. I can't get mad about this.
So sometimes it's better that you don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Yeah, I think there's probably stuff going on on both sides.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I just don't I don't need to be involved with.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I don't need to know what's going on, you know,
I don't really no, I know, That's what I mean though, Like,
and it wouldn't be there'd be no context, and it
might be funny for the girls, but it's not funny
to me. And I don't know, So I could just leve.
I don't need to see that. Thank you, Carl, I
have a good day.
Speaker 10 (16:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Y'all want to talk about girl stuff, I don't have
anything to contribute to that. I don't need to know.
There's probably a lot of information there. I don't need
to know. I mean, think about I don't know the
last two weeks of your girl group chats. Would you
really want a guy to read all that? Would your
friends want a guy to read all that?
Speaker 6 (16:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Anyway, So there you go. Problem solve.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Girl, Save the Snooper for later.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
I'd still like to know why you're going to do it,
Like Big Sam is always sexting Pizza Hut though about
breadsticks and dipping sauces and things that I lets you know.
The entertainer reports and show me his kiky next
The Fresh Show is on.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It's stay or go all right, Hannah is here, by
the way, you can always get us your story dm
us and all the socials, Fread Show Radio, d Friend Show,
TikTok and Fredshow Radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hannah, Good morning, Good morning, Hi Hannah.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
So you have this boyfriend a year and a half,
it says, and y'all are fighting, and so you thought, well,
I'm gonna call the Fred Show and these guys will
solve the problem for me. So yeah, sure, we'll brainstorm altogether.
Now what's going on? What are you fighting about with
this man?
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Well, like, we usually have a really good relationship, but
I really just want some advice on like phone.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Etiquette, phone etiquette. Okay, what's this guy doing with his phone?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
So Leanda and I were sitting on the couch and
he just started laughing at his phone. So I asked
him what's funny and he told me, oh, it's nothing.
It's just our boy chat, our boys group chat. And
I asked like, oh, well, can I see it? Like
I you know, I just want to understand like what
the joke is, because you're you seem to be having
a really good time, and he pulled it away and
(01:08):
was like, oh, it's private.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Okay, Well, I mean all right, so you he's over
there first of all. I mean, I guess you could
argue that it's rude if he's just sitting there with
you and then he's on his phone and obsessed with that,
But I mean, okay, it happens. I mean, do you
guys live together or or just spend a lot of
time together.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Yeah, we lived together. I don't know. I just felt like,
there's nothing on my phone I wouldn't share.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
So the guy's minding his own business.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
He's in the boys chat or whatever, the guy's chat,
and he doesn't really want to show it to you now,
And you're saying that he could see the girls chat,
because I mean, the group chat is a thing he could.
You wouldn't mind if he went into your phone and
read through that, scrolled through all the things that you've
said to them. No, really, no, huh. You know how
I feel about this. So, guys, everybody has a right
(01:56):
to privacy. Everybody has a right to an outlet. And
I don't think that everything is I'm looking at you,
pump now. I don't think that everything has to be
seen by everybody all the time. Like, I think he
has a right to have a communication with his friends
that he knows is a safe place that he doesn't
have to get, you know, spell checked and content approved.
(02:19):
And I think everyone's entitled to that. And I'm sorry,
but if someone tells you that they don't have anything
like that, I don't believe them. I believe they have
a fake email or you know, an email somewhere you
don't know about, or something not because that there's necessarily
anything nefarious going on. But I think it's just human.
It's human for people to have their own stuff. I mean,
how would you feel if he kind of just lingered
(02:39):
at girls' night when all you guys are sitting there
doing whatever you guys do, talking about you know whatever.
Would you want him just sitting there 'reing an icy
just listening to that. I mean no, because I would
imagine I'm going to answer it for you. I would
guess know, because you want a place where you can
go and not that you're there trashing him or anybody else.
But don't you want to feel like you can communicate
(03:00):
freely without being judged?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Yeah, I guess I just worry that like it's about
me or like something that is kind of bad, but
that is assuming the worst.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
If he's talking negatively about you to his friends, you
got bigger problems than the group chat in my opinion.
So if you have no reason to believe that he
would say anything bad about you, then I don't. I
don't know why you bother yourself with it, like let
him have it right, right?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
But yeah, well see.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Let me let me see, by the way, what everybody
has to say. Eight five, five, five nine one one
oh three five. Do you think that if you're in
a relationship, that you should have access to your partner's
group chat? Now?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
We don't saying I don't really have one. There's there's
not one chat in my phone. I mean there are
situational group chats where like three or four of us
are going out, so we're all on a message thing
or whatever, or like you know, if there's a bachelor
party or something, everyone's on the on a group chat.
But like I wouldn't say there's one consistent group chat.
But I have tech messages among friends that are just
(04:02):
stupid that I wouldn't want anyone to see because I
wouldn't want to be judged by that stupidity, but I don't.
I don't necessarily think that my phone should be a
fair game, not because I'm doing anything I shouldn't be doing,
but because it's kind of like that's mine, Like it's
smile and it's like it's a little bit of your
phone's kind of an insight into what's going on in
your brain. The same way that I wouldn't want people
(04:23):
to see my searches, not because they're all porn, they're
not all sexual, but like I don't know, if I
have a question in my brain about anything, I'll google
it because I want the answer, and I don't necessarily
think the same way that if you take an inventory
of everything we talk about on this show every day,
it looks totally random. I think if you looked at
everything I searched in a given day, it looked totally random.
(04:44):
I mean, yesterday it was about horses, right, you know,
the gestation period of horses and why it took a
year for this horse to be born and why the
mom doesn't like it, among other things.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
But that's you might look at that and go, what
the hell are you doing?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
So don't I don't know, Hannah, I mean, would you
want your for to go through every inch of your phone.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
I just feel like, like you said, it's like someone's brain.
So if I can't know what's happening in his brain
or in his phone, like I steel.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
A distance, but maybe you don't want to know, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Like, I don't think everybody wants to know what's happening
inside of me, as long as I'm being faithful and
honest and a good human being to you, Like, let
me have my my little space. Like if the guy
had a diary, would you want to read it? I
mean you woul might want to, but would you think
you have a right to read it? Because I don't
necessarily think this is all that different. I think friendly
communication is privileged.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Y maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
All right, Well, let me take some phone calls on
this hand, and I want to hear what Paulina has
to say because I know she disagrees with me, and uh,
and we'll go from there. But good luck, Hannah, thanks
for calling.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I eight five five five three five. You can call
and text this same number. Pe you go ahead. Why
do you think that you should be able to see
Hobby's group chat?
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Well, here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
I feel like, if you guys know the thing, it
is like if you have nothing to hide, then like
whatever I see, I know hobbies. So if they're talking
about sports, which that's what they're talking about, or this
or that or some story something happened, like I probably
already know about it, and that's fine. I don't read
their messages because I can't dissect it. I don't understand
like sports talk and bro talk like when straight men
gets together. I don't understand sometimes and that's what I've
(06:21):
gotten from there. But I have been in a situation
where you know, he's slapping at his phone and I
was kind of like, what's so funny kind of thing?
And he was like, oh, just a group chat. But
I'm like, but what's so funny? And then my insecurities
kick in and I admit it, and I'm like, oh, Mary,
you're talking about like big boobs and stuff. I know
you are, like you're talking about other women, Like I
just like my mind went crazy.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Yeah, And he was like, do you want to see and.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
I was like, well I did, but I was like no,
I don't, and he's like, we're talking about I don't
know something. Some comedian things something happened, I've some scandal
whatever in the sports world. I don't care, And I
was like, all right, cool, have your space, have your whatever.
The only thing is I know Freddie and I talked
about this too, like we don't have like those like
group chats, like my group chats are are truly so silly,
Like there's no scandal in the group chat, there's no
(06:59):
like crazy girl talk.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Like it's honestly the stupidest stuff you've ever see.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
So if how he wants to see it, like if
he judges me, that's wild because he already knows I've
said most of this stuff out lout or he knows
how I think he can look through whatever he wants.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I truly don't care.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I must say something, and I want you to hear
what I'm saying because I mean it wholeheartedly, even though
it might sound a little mean.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You are well.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
The first part is, I mean, you are a capable, strong, confident,
powerful woman.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Seriously, and there's no button.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
When you do stuff like that, it's devaluing all of
those qualities about yourself because you're You're all it's giving
is control and insecurity. But you don't you don't need
to see that you're married to a guy who you're confident,
I believe wouldn't cheat on you.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
He is upholding his values.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
It's your desire to have all the information, to have control,
and I don't think, and I think what happens is
you're you're actually devaluing your own self by doing that,
because you have all these other qualities. But when it's
when it's let me see, let me see, or what
are you doing? What are you doing? You want to
see it? No, it's a game that you shouldn't play
because you don't need to play it because people are
entitled to have private communication. And if you don't trust
(08:07):
what he's saying, that's a completely different problem.
Speaker 6 (08:10):
I agree with that, And it's weirdly not even about trust.
For I think it's a control thing. Like I have
control issues, like when we drive places, I have to
drive the vehicle.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I won't be a passenger princess.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah, I have control issues.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
If you and I were married, I would never let
you drive the vehicle because I've seen you drive a vehicle.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
So my control is she would be my life and preserving.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
Yes, well tell that the hobby. But I just I
can't like let him drive the car. I think it
just it could just be for me wanting to see
what they're talking about.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
Well, I trust him, I believe him. I don't care.
They're talking about the stupidest stuff I've ever seen in
my life.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I don't care. Well, there you go. Well, then problem solved.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
But that only happened one time, and after that I
was like, Okay, I'm not even gonna like butt in
on these random combos.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Bridget how you doing, good morning, good morning, Hey, love
you too, thanks for listening. So this is this woman.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
She's upset because she feels like something's going on in
the group chat, like she's missing out, like she's not
part of something, or or maybe they're talking about her,
And so she believes that she should get to see
it of her boyfriend of a year and a half.
And I argue, no, I don't think that she should.
What do you think?
Speaker 7 (09:14):
I'm actually with you on this one?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I have this one.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I got to qualify it on this one.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
On this one, I say a lot of things that
make sense.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
Usually i'm with ladies, but I was actually in a
marriage where the expectation was that I show my phone.
I'm no longer in that marriage and in a new
relationship where there is absolutely no expectation because we trust
each other. And I'm not blaming the caller for, you know,
having concerns, but if there's concerns, there's a deeper issue there,
(09:47):
Like I have nothing to hide, and I would happily
show my partner on the phone at any time, but
there's no need or expectation for me to do so.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
If I were in a relationship, I don't necessarily think
every community I have with my closest friends would make
would make my partner feel good because I'm allowed to
have thoughts that about other people or other things. I mean,
I'm not on there saying like I'm with an awful
human being or something. But like, let's say I get
in a fight with my sgnificant other, or let's say
my friend is having a tough time in his marriage
(10:18):
or something and he wants to he has every right
to have an outlet and to communicate those things. And
being as though he trusts me and I trust him, well,
that's that's a lock box, right, Like it's never getting anywhere.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
But I agree, and if you were agree his.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Wife or somebody. I'm making this up because it's not happening.
But if if his girlfriend or wife or somewhere to
read this communication that's between the two of us, it
could cause a lot of problems because it's what's going
on in his head that he probably wouldn't say to her.
But maybe saying it to me and working it out
before he says it to her is actually to her benefit.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Right right, I agree? I agree, But that that goes
back to the whole problem of her concern that there's
something there, and if there is, that's a deeper issue
that they need to talk about.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, I agree with that. Bridget Thank you so much
for calling him for listening. Have a good day.
Speaker 7 (11:04):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
You gotta love the stuff go with with his phone.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
Doing better. I'm doing better, slowly, but surely therapy is helping.
This conversation is helping.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
I don't go through it like that freely, because again,
I don't want him to think that exactly about me,
like this little insecure woman that I'm married to. I
don't want my husband to think of me like that.
It's just very tempting when it's sitting there and I'm like,
what are the boys up to today. What are y'all
talking about?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Why are you so quiet? Kiky? I figured you have
something to say about this.
Speaker 8 (11:30):
Well, group chats don't really bother me because that's everybody
in there, just yeah, and I don't care about that.
I want to know why you text a piece of
hood like stuff like that, Like I'm looking who is
actually Buffalo woild Wings in your phone?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Because you know, yes, I text Pizza Hut all the time.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
That's a green flag, right like Pizza Hut.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
And I are constantly Actually it's more like Jet's pizza.
And you can text them, by the way, which is funny.
That's just an option to text them to deliver your pizza. Yeah,
so if you see Jet's pizza in someone's phone book,
that's real.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
See, I'm checking numbers and stuff like that. And then
I think Hannah's issue is girl, you never show it
in the moment you know he's over thereikikiki ha ha ha.
I'm going to be like, oh, I know what I'm
doing later. You know I would never do it. Wow,
you know I would never be like what do you know?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Are you guys snooping? Like it's never It's not good
for so many reasons. Hey Selena, good morning, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Good morning? What did you want to say?
Speaker 9 (12:25):
I just wanted to say that she really needs to
stop being so insecure, and not only should she respect
his privacy, but also the privacy of his friends. And
if you feel that you can't trust him because he's
laughing with his friends, and I think you're in the
wrong relationship, honey.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Because yeah, Selena, I'll tell you what is going on
in my messages. It's me, you know, spending all day
looking up content for the show, and I stumbled across
something that's funny, and I sent it to my friend
and some of it is just ridiculous, Like some of
it is so ridiculous, stupid, immature, whatever.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I wouldn't want to be judged on that.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
But like my friend knows that that's you know, if
I see something it's like ha ha funny to that
person and I send it to them. But I wouldn't
want to be judged on what I'm sending to my
friends or or every thought I have in my brain
or every dumb inside joke that we have. It doesn't
mean that I'm sleeping with ten other women, you know.
But I also don't want to have to explain the context.
Sometimes I shouldn't have to.
Speaker 9 (13:21):
Well, here's another thing. What if one of his friends
is sharing something like that and she could be friends
with one of the friend's girlfriends or something.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
And that's how you get your group girl, fend, that's
how you get your set kicked out.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
You know.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
It's like the rules of flight club. You know what
I mean. Thank you still have a good day. You're
welcome falling across your arms.
Speaker 6 (13:42):
What So I just had a thought because this actually
did happen to me, But what is what do you
do right? When my husband asks me when I'm doing
the keky cock CODs myself and I'm laughing.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Because while you going kek co.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Ha, that one like this group and this room in
the Freend show, we have a group chat, and that's true,
we do.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
It's gone off a couple of times, and I've actually laughed.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
I've giggled, and he's got He's asked me, oh, like,
what's so funny kind of things?
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I'm looking at my phone, I'm laughing.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
I have no issue straight up telling him like what
is making me laugh? And there's actually a story to it,
So I'll big well, this happened on the show today,
or this happened behind the scenes, and this is why
we're laughing about it. So like, why can't he do
that for me? Now that I'm thinking about it, Why
is it that like, oh, don't worry about him sent
secularity like.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
But with him, he asked that same question, and I
have no problem telling him.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I mean, because it's funny if I would start a fight.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
If I'm sitting on the couch next to you and
I'm laughing hysterically at something and We're just sitting there
in quiet and I'm just I'm staring at my phone
and laughing hysterically, I mean, that would be rude not
to include someone and in you know, whatever's making you
happy in that moment.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
That would be strange.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Like, but I'm you know, if I'm just sitting there
texting and we're just mine on our own business or whatever,
I don't think I should have to show you every
action I'm making on my phone, not at all, you
know what I mean. But like if I laugh out
loud and something, I mean, I might you an explanation
of some kind, but I'm not going to hand the
thing over for you to do.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
A comp audit.
Speaker 6 (15:04):
No, just let me know the story, just just like
fill me and I want to laugh with you too.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
If it's that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Funny, I I get, yeah, well, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 5 (15:11):
It's friendly conversations.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
That's different than being like hey, right, let me give.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Me hey Carla, Hey, hey Carla.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
So just to recap here, this woman's upset because she
feels like her boyfriend's in this group chat with his
buddies and she wants to know what's going on in there.
And she feels kind of like she has a right
to know, and you know, I argue that she doesn't.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Yeah, I think.
Speaker 10 (15:33):
I mean, okay, so how many times have you said
something to your partner and then they don't get it
and they're like that, or they'll give you a logical explanation.
Your group chat will give you all the delulute stuff
that you want to listen to. Also, I am in
a group chat that's an all male group chat except
for me, and my husband's also in it, so I
get an insight into all the crazy stuff that they think.
(15:58):
And let me tell you, I want to know. They
say such wild, crazy things. It's so unhinged and I
feel privileged that I get to be in it. So
I have to remember sometimes like, oh snap, I am
part of the group, I'm part of the boys. I
have to be cool. I can't get mad about this.
So sometimes it's better that you don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Yeah, I think there's probably stuff going on on both sides.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I just don't I don't need to be involved with.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I don't need to know what's going on, you know,
I don't really no, I know, That's what I mean though, Like,
and it wouldn't be there'd be no context, and it
might be funny for the girls, but it's not funny
to me. And I don't know, So I could just leve.
I don't need to see that. Thank you, Carl, I
have a good day.
Speaker 10 (16:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Y'all want to talk about girl stuff, I don't have
anything to contribute to that. I don't need to know.
There's probably a lot of information there. I don't need
to know. I mean, think about I don't know the
last two weeks of your girl group chats. Would you
really want a guy to read all that? Would your
friends want a guy to read all that?
Speaker 6 (16:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Anyway, So there you go. Problem solve.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Girl, Save the Snooper for later.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
I'd still like to know why you're going to do it,
Like Big Sam is always sexting Pizza Hut though about
breadsticks and dipping sauces and things that I lets you know.
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