June 16, 2025 • 27 mins
Listen to the highlights where we discuss a Reddit post of an upset husband who overheard his wife claim she was a "solo parent". Plus, is it okay to get a DNA test on your child because you don't think its your own? Listen now!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Fred Show.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
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(00:23):
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to be sent. Standard message of data rates apply all
thanks to the Live Nation. Ah Okay, So here's our
morality Monday, and this is from our friends at Reddit.
Am I the a whole? Eight five five five nine
one one oh three five you can call it. Text
the same number. My wife, who's twenty nine and I.
He's a thirty one year old male, have a three
year old son. I think some people can relate to this.
(00:46):
I work ten to twelve hour days as a contractor
while she's days home. Lately, she's been ventcing online into
friends saying that she feels like a single mom because
I'm never around. This is from the perspective of the
I'm the guy who works all the time.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I get this.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
She's overwhelmed. I am too, but I'm working my butt
off to keep us afloat. The other night, I heard
her refer to herself as a solo parent during a
zoom call with her mom. After she hung up, I
told her that I didn't appreciate that. I'm not partying,
I'm not neglecting our family. I'm working. She said, I'm
being defensive and that she feels like a single mom
(01:22):
because she handles everything alone at home. Now I feel guilty.
I don't want to invalidate her, but I also feel
like she's ignoring everything I do. Am I the ahle
for calling her out? I mean, she's not a single mom. No,
And if it requires ten to twelve hours a day
of this man working to provide their lifestyle, then it
(01:42):
sounds like they're both doing jobs right. He's doing his
job to make money, she's doing her job, which is
a job to raise the kids. But I hear this
argument sometimes when one person's at home and the other
person's at work, and that's a decision that was made
within the relationship that this is how we're going to
do this. And I hear this sometimes like, oh, it
must be nice, and I think that you can.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I don't think one side always sees the other side,
you know, cause it's like my buddies that travel, I
pilot buddies. Right, they're gone for you know, a week
at a time. They've always been this for thirty years, right,
It's been this way forever. And then they come back
and it's like it must have been nice to be
and you know, Dubai for a week must have been nice.
I was out here making lunches and driving a soccer
practice and it's like, well, first of all, you know,
(02:27):
maybe maybe it was nice in some regards, but in
other regards, like this is my life. I got, I
got aluminum, platinum, diamond, gold. You know, I'm the biggest
badass status at Hilton because I don't sleep in my house. Right, Like,
anytime you see somebody who'd like they when they check in,
someone hands them a bottle of champagne and like kisses
their feet. At first, I'm like, Wow, they're going to
(02:49):
get a really nice room. And then I'm like, in
order to get that, they don't ever get to go home, right, Right,
So my buddies. I talk about this all the time.
He's like, you know, I would much ray to be
here with my family. I would much try to be
here on my terms. But I'm here because the boss
needs to be here. And if the boss calls me
right now says we're leaving, we're leaving, which means I'm
not at the bar. You know, I'm not partying, I'm
(03:09):
not on a I'm not riding a camel, you know,
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Like this is not my vacation.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
This is work, and I don't get to choose when
or where or how or any of it. And so yeah,
I guess I'd get to sleep in a hotel bed
and sleep in sometimes and eat room service. But at
the same time, maybe I would rather be driving to
soccer practice. And then on the flip side, you know,
you've got the people going, you know, on the side
of the person who's doing all that, it's like, well,
(03:34):
maybe i'd like the night out sometimes or the night away,
or maybe I'd like the exposure to adults. Yes, you know,
I'd like to be able to go to I would
like to go to work for eight ten hours a day.
And you know, I know people who in this case,
HiT's the man who goes to work and the wife
keeps a part time job, and it actually costs them
money for her to go to work as a flight attendant.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I've used this example before.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
But they do it anyway because like, for him to
a home, he makes three times what she does as
a pilot, So for her to go to work costs money,
But they do it anyway because for her, it's like,
this is my independence, this is my job, this is
part of my identity. I want to go on a trip,
I want to hang out with adults. I want to
make a little bit of money.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
He's cool for that, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
But I just I think that this sort of argument
fundamentally is based on one side not seeing the other,
or one side wanting some elements that the other side.
I think everybody wants a little bit of the other thing.
But I'm just curious for those of you who deal
with this. If one person's primarily raising kids and one
person's primarily working, do you really think you could say that?
(04:37):
Is that a fair thing to say out loud? Because
it makes it solo parent kind of implies that the
other parent isn't involved or doesn't care. It's like deadbeat,
it's giving deadbeat, it is, but it's the exact opposite.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Also, like, if you feel that way, it's not the
time to get it out on a zoom call when
it can just be overheard by your partner. And what's
sad is I think it takes both people to make
the raising the children work.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
It does, you know, And comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So yeah, I just I and if I heard I heard,
If this is me and I heard my wife saying
this to her mom, that's even worse because it's like
you're telling your mom that I'm basically a bad dad.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
True.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know, I don't like to l is it l
or Ellie? This l how you doing?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
So this scenario here, it's like you've got the dad
working twelve hours a day. In this case, you've got
the mom at home and the mom feels like she's
a single parent, and the dad's like, hey, at first
he was upset, Now he feels guilty. But I don't
necessarily think that's a fair thing to say.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
About him, not at all as a truly solo parent.
This just makes me so angry. I'm actually shaking because
she's still like she's not has to work, she's not
worried about the bills herself. She's getting support in some way,
shape or form, even though he might not be present.
(05:55):
So it's just it's just not something that you can
just say like that, because she's just not even realized
in the impact she's getting from having that man in
her life.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I think that would trigger me too, because what
about the people who are in fact solo parents and
it all falls on them. They have to somehow figure
out a way to pay for the you know, pay
pay the bills and the mortgage and the rats and
the food and be at soccer practice and figure out
the logistics of the rest of that. I mean, and
I'm I'm not minimizing one or the other, but for you,
you have to figure out both.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Yeah, and not to minimize it either, because she still
has to step up in ways that maybe she didn't
anticipate when they originally decided to have a child. But
I mean, I remember when I just had a three
month old and I couldn't even just go to the bathroom,
I couldn't just go down the street and get a coffee. Like,
there's just so much you don't realize that actually happens
when you are a truly solo parent.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah, yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
She's definitely the a hole in this one.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Okay, all right, fair enough, I'll let her know.
Speaker 8 (06:50):
Thank you, Thank you guys, love your show.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Thank you, love you too. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (06:54):
I mean it's a good point that you've made though, too,
where it's like you look at one side, look at
the other side right like you got it better. I
know you got it better, but I think it's also
like for my personal experience, from my experience, I feel
like I'm looking at it that what does his husband
do when he comes home? Is he playing video games?
Is he disassociating from his family? I know the ten
to twelve hour shifts are long, and they're lengthy and hard,
but I feel like they can at least come home right,
(07:17):
play with the kids, make dinner, like help out, because
I think then that would take less off of the
mom who is home all day with the kids.
Speaker 10 (07:23):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
But let me ge.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Okay, So there's a question. I don't know the answer.
I'm asking like an open ended question, but is it
fair for someone who worked ten hours a day to
then come home and take an hour to decompress. Yeah,
because what I think. I think sometimes it's like, yeah,
you yes, you were at home with the kids all day,
But then am I expected And I don't know the answer,
but am I expected to just after my ten hour
(07:46):
day walk in and then just take over the parenting
role and then you get a break? I don't know
the answer to that, But like I think, sometimes there's
not a respect for what the other one's doing. It's
like I just went to work. I just sat in
traffic for an hour, right, Yeah, I just had Spin
up on me all day and watched Miss Rachel for
the thirty seven times.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Sounds like me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
So it's like I don't know, I've heard that one
before where that guy comes home he said he wants
to go to bed.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And it's not that I don't know that he's.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
A bad guy or a bad girl or whatever, but
like you're only capable of so much.
Speaker 9 (08:17):
Yeah, communicate, I think at a community with the partner.
How are you feeling this moment? Hey, I just walked
in the house, like, give me, you know, thirty minutes
and then I think, just you got to.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
Work it out.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's hard, but you got to balance it some way. Melissa.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
Yeah, good morning.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Day, Melissa, good morning, welcome.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
What do you think so, I think the dad here,
it's definitely not the a hole. She just needs to
reorganize her thinking to be able to include him or
incorporate him with more parental responsibilities. Like you said, they're
both performing a job. Here is the financial income, the
financial stability, the security there. She is providing the parenting here,
(08:55):
whether she wants it or not. Is that's something that
she kind of normally agree to that, that's just the
way it is. If she's not reporting somewhere to go
to and provide the same wy he does, then she's
not the solo parent here. She's just they're just providing
different job aspects of the family part the being at home,
(09:16):
that being the parent like the absent or the present parent.
She's just the main go to right now for him physically,
but the dad is definitely there to provide for them.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, Melissa, thank you. Have a good day.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
Absolutely, because I feel like.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Sometimes people would switch roles even like I know, I'll
tell you what you think you think it's so great
you know doing this and the other that you think
it's so great you know, going to work and dealing
with these idiots, like how about I stay home and
I'll take care of my kids, because you know, I
think the other thing that's sort of negated here is
like maybe he loves I'm sure he loves his kids too,
and I'm sure he would rather be at soccer practice
(09:52):
or being the coach, or going to the games, or
or feeding the kids or whatever. I'm sure there's bonding
time that he's missing, right, So it probably has moments
where it's like, Okay, cool, kids crying, I gotta go
to work.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Bye. You deal with it.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
But then I'm sure it also has moments where it's like, man,
I can't believe I'm missing that. But if he were there,
then who's making the money to pay the bills? In
this case? You know, you can you could flip it
and it could be the other way around. It's like
the grass is always greener. I feel like Ashley hi
O in this scenario, if you're just tuning in, there's
(10:26):
a woman and this is from the male perspective, but
he heard his wife saying that she is a solo
parent because he works ten to twelve hours a day,
and she's telling people this like her mom and friends,
and he's offended and then he sort of vacillates on Well,
so I feel bad for saying something to her or not.
But this is the agreement that we came up with.
I work in a traditional setting. I pay the bills
(10:48):
and you take care of the kids. That doesn't make
you a solo parent. What do you think?
Speaker 11 (10:53):
No, she is absolutely wrong saying that she's a solo parent.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I think is just really hurtful.
Speaker 11 (10:59):
Have a two year old and a baby on the
way in three weeks, and my husband has a traveling
job and his travel is sporadic.
Speaker 8 (11:08):
He can up and go.
Speaker 11 (11:10):
And I only have a week or a couple of
weeks notice, and sometimes he's gone, you know what seems
like half a month and sometimes it's less. By no
means am I a solo parent at all. It is
very hard, especially with two small kids. But we had
a conversation, and I knew his work before we made
(11:30):
these decisions, and we have to continue to have conversations
about Hey, is do we need to make a change?
And I know job changes and things like that they're
not easy at all, but is it Do I need
to go part time? Do we want does he want
to be home or do we need to make a
(11:52):
change there, or do we need to make a lifestyle change,
you know with you know home or otherwise, And those
are big change and really tough decisions. But if it's
bothering her that much, it's definitely a conversation.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Because she's not a.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Solo parent at all.
Speaker 11 (12:10):
I will say that like, oh I'm I'm I'm solo
this week. My husband's gone and we have a village
that helps me out. So it's just you got to
talk about options, there was ways to work things out.
I'm with her, it's not easy, especially with two kids. Yeah,
being super pregnant, but by no means and my solo
(12:33):
mom and that's really hurtful to say about her husband.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah us, thank you for sharing. Congratulations by the way
on the new one. In a couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Making more listeners, we got to get bither.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
In my understanding is as soon as that baby's boy,
is it boy or girl?
Speaker 7 (12:52):
Girl?
Speaker 8 (12:53):
This time?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Apparently Jessica listener number eleven is moving to like microneese
or something, and like the I don't know if there's
a jungle there, but im my understanding it's some form
of jungle and there's no internet, so we lost her.
So the baby just so we'll never be more than thirteen.
So don't even try and get greedy.
Speaker 8 (13:08):
Okay, Okay, you gonna start.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
We'll let you guys start the whole Matt leave.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Thanks, you have a good day, Ashley. Thank you that
we keep adding cities and we only have the same
number of listeners. Hey, Linda, good morning, Hi doing great,
Thanks for calling, Thanks for listening. So I'm gonna give
you the final say here. And someone brought up military
families too, by the way, which I mean there's one.
It's like people gone for you know, Shelley's husband gone
(13:34):
for two three months at a time, longer years at
a time, sometimes depending on what's going on. And does
that make that person any any less of a parent?
I would argue, No, they're they're they're doing what they
gotta do. What do you think, right, Well, I think.
Speaker 10 (13:48):
The hardest part of this, this whole argument, is that
the role of motherhood is always somehow less stressful than
going to work for twelve hours. My ex husband was
an air trafficker, one of the most stressful jobs.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
In the world.
Speaker 10 (14:07):
As you might know, and you know, I'm at home
with two kids under two, and all I want to
do is take a shower.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
That's all I want to do is take a shower.
Speaker 10 (14:15):
And so you know, he comes home from work and yeah,
he wants to unwind, and yeah, you know, he's not
really interested in two screaming, you know, two year olds.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
But at the same time, I need you.
Speaker 10 (14:26):
To acknowledge that my job is as important as yours,
and I just need to take a shower. And so
there was always that, there was always that argument of
whose job is more important, and they both are.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
They both are important.
Speaker 10 (14:41):
But for me, I felt that as a mother, a
stay at home mother, my job was made less important
because of the importance of his job in the world.
And so I was just like, you know, can I
have five minutes him He's like, well, you know, I've
been busy all day and you know, my brain, I
you can't even think. And I'm like, I understand that,
(15:02):
and he's like, well, you've been home all day, you know,
as if that's a vacation. So I think in the
world in general, we need to give mothers credit for
how hard it is to be a mom full time,
and it is just as important, and it is just
as taxing at times, especially.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
With two hundred two.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
I agree, I agree, but you know I hate in
his defense, he's been dealing with you know, screaming pilots
all day. Then, are just the same as baby audible hair.
Yeah right, it's Kiki's court, all right, The honorable Kiak
is here taking away judge Kiki.
Speaker 12 (15:39):
All right, let's get into the courtroom. It says Kiki,
am I wrong for getting a DNA test on my
daughter because I didn't believe she was mine. My wife
and I have been together for ten years, married for
six We tried for years to have a baby, and
for years we were faced with struggles. But back in December,
we were finally blessed with our baby girl. I was shocked, excited,
(15:59):
but if I'm honest, I had a little bit of
doubt in my mind that the baby could really be mine,
just because we tried for so long and had no success.
To make matters worse, when my daughter was born, she
didn't really look like me. Even my own mother started
making comments about how she didn't really look like us
at all, different hair texture, eye color, and more. Eventually,
(16:20):
my mom suggested that I buy an at home DNA
test and test my daughter without telling my wife. Thankfully,
the results confirmed she is mine, and I felt a
huge sense of relief and was ready to move on
with our lives. But last week my wife found out
she was shopping online and saw the DNA test in
our recent purchase history.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And now she's not speaking to me.
Speaker 12 (16:41):
She's sleeping in the gas room and says that our
trust is forever broken. It really wasn't a trust thing
for me, but more of my anxiety just getting the
best of me. Am I wrong for doing what I
felt was necessary to make me feel secure?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Judge Kicky would say.
Speaker 12 (16:58):
You, oh, you dare wrong? You are so wrong, My boy,
you are wrong or you're wrong.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
You know, I gotta be smarter about hiding the evidence
of my opinion. I am a you do what you
gotta do, but people can't find out about it. You
can like you share the Amazon.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
What are we doing?
Speaker 12 (17:12):
I mean, I'm a technically single woman, but even yes,
I am Jason, Like if I said.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Where he's asleep?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, we find out that big Tip works all night,
which is why there's no chance that he'll hear any
of this racket.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Yeah, he's a smart man.
Speaker 12 (17:28):
But I would never do something like this and not
talk about it with my partner, Like, I feel what.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Are you supposed to say, Kiky, Like, hey, you just said,
I don't think this kid looks like me. I'm pretty
sure that somebody else inseminated you.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
No, I mean like, I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I don't think that you can have that comp I
mean that that wouldn't that be worse than just doing
this on the side and not telling anybody to appease
what you know to be your own insecurity.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
If you're gonna do it, do it well, bro.
Speaker 12 (17:56):
You can't do it on the same wallbrings account like
you should have, you have somebody else by you, but
actually a something You should be able to talk to
your partner about this, Like if you're having insecurities, if
you're having doubts, if there's something going on, you could say,
my mind's playing tricks on me, like can we fix this?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Can we figure it out?
Speaker 12 (18:12):
But to do this behind her back, and then you
and your mama and cahoots and then nobody told me anything.
Y'all over your DNA testing my child? Oh my yes,
I'm asleep in the guest room. You better be glad
you're still alive.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yes, And babies don't look like anybody like I'm so sick.
Speaker 9 (18:29):
A many people are like, this baby looks more like
babies look like babies.
Speaker 11 (18:32):
Okay, you're gonna look at a baby and be like,
this doesn't look like me, Like it's a baby.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's a baby. They need to cook even like grown.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
No, I mixed on this, you guys. So I'm supposed
to bring all of my insecurities into the relationship, Like
I'm supposed to sit down and be like, I think
you cheated on me and created a baby. Or if
I'm this crazy in my mind Loki like cabay side,
then I just go figure it out on my own
and then hopefully you never find out. Then I'm a
crazy person and that's on me and I needed some reassurance.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
You are okay with this.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
It's gonna end.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
It would potentially end the relationship to sit down and
accuse the mother of your child of cheating because simply
because you're insecure.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
No no, no, no.
Speaker 12 (19:13):
See he could have came to her and said, you know,
my mind, is something going on with my mind after
having this baby. We've been through so many struggles like
help me ease my mind, wife, you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Know, but what damage to this do if he's just
confirming what he already wants to know, Like, what is it?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
What damage has really taken?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I mean, either way, either way he's saying I don't
trust my wife, whether he sits down and talks to
her or gets a DNA test. Either way he's saying
I don't trust you, which means there's an overarching, a
larger issue going on here.
Speaker 12 (19:47):
But you can't trust now. I can never trust you
or your mama. I don't know what y'all will do.
You know now you're forever. I'm always looking at you
with a side eye because you had this whole operation
on the side of our marriage and never mention it
to me.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You just gotta be smarter about it. You just gotta
not get caught, is what this says. If you're if
you got insecurities and you want answers, and you can
get them and no one ever has to, no one's
ever the wiser, then you go get those answers and
you make sure you never get caught. That's it, Oh
my Lanta eight five five five five, Well, because like
I don't I don't know if you're gonna live with this.
(20:19):
If you are, if you believe this, and you have
no evidence, no evidence whatsoever, and this is something that
you just have to clear your mind about. And I
sit down, I say, Kiki, is that kid mine? I
want a DNA test. I'm saying you're a cheater for
no reason.
Speaker 12 (20:35):
No, because you know you can say postpartum men go
through postpartum two.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Stop it.
Speaker 12 (20:41):
You know you could, like I'm just saying, he would
have to me. You could have blamed it on your
mental health, and I would have worked with you. But
the fact that you're on here.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
You a cheater even if my mental health is off,
which my mental health is always off. And you knew
that when I when we got when we hotel.
Speaker 12 (20:54):
Call me a cheated to my face, now behind my back. Okay, Collina,
what would you do if Poppy did?
Speaker 6 (21:00):
Uh?
Speaker 9 (21:01):
Well, I'm taking a grave at the cemetery because Dad
is like, I'm already postpart I'm already going through everything.
I cooked this baby for nine months and you're accusing
me of that. Sometimes I look at my daughter, though
I don't even know if she's mine, because she looks
nothing like me, even like just like her beautiful, like
you know, skin texture, everything, her color. I'm like, oh
my god, like, are you even my baby? But I
might have to But if how he ever asked me that,
(21:22):
or him and his mother went behind my back, I
don't even know what's worse. To be honest, I don't
know if you're going behind my back room just straight
up telling me I want a DNA test.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You cannot get caught. If you're going to do this,
you cannot get caught. That's really what this comes down to,
is you just simply cannot get caught. Hey, Chloe, Hi, Chloe,
Welcome to Kekey's court on The Fred Show.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
What It Did a situation.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Dude is insecure because he doesn't think that his kid
is his, and so despite the fact that he has
no evidence of her cheating whatsoever, he wins and he
and his mom went and had a DNA test to
prove that in fact, the kid was his and ideos
and then his wife found out because he was a dummy,
and he bought all want a shared account, dummy?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But what do you think?
Speaker 7 (22:05):
I don't know, Like, honestly, I think probably you should
go because there's like so many things that are wrong
in this situation. For me, one, you say that, oh,
I had to do it because my anxiety was so bad. Okay,
So like, if you struggle with mental health, you should
be talking with your partner about that, and you should
probably have a therapist because chances are if you were
talking with your therapist about all of this, you would
(22:26):
not have needed to buy the maternity test. Second issue,
what is mom in law doing? Like, there are things
that you like say, and then there are things that
you don't say, and it seems like mom in law
is a little bit of a hater and there's just
like something you just don't tell your kids about their
(22:48):
other partners, you know, Like if my mom has some
opinions about my husband, I tell her, yeah, thank you,
keep them to yourself and let's keep it moving. But
I feel like this is also pretty severe where you're like, yeah,
I don't think the care yours either, Like what.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, Chloe thinking, No, I'm glad you called, thanks for listening,
have a good day.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I mean, look, I'm a thinker, you know, I let
my mind get the best of me. I have my insecurities.
I wouldn't say, you know, this would hopefully be one
of them. But if I need to rest my mind
over something that I know is ridiculous, I've got two choices.
I can either it's either mind ever matter or I
control I control it. And I said this is ridiculous,
(23:29):
and I have to talk to myself and say, hey, hey, Fred,
this is like you're a crazy person and this is
a crazy thought, and move past it. And if I
simply cannot do that, I don't need to torture you
and sit down and accuse you of being a bad person.
I get answers on my own.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
And get caught. I already said, don't get caught.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
How could you live with yourself if you did that
in secret?
Speaker 7 (23:50):
Though?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
See, I could live with myself a lot better than
sitting down and accusing a person who I don't really
think cheated cheated because I'm a crazy person.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
But if you don't really think the cheated, then why
do you need the test?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
You've never had a thought that just was unreasonable, that
just didn't add up.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Of course I have, but I would share that. I wouldn't.
I wouldn't get my book.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Project like I know that if I really have no
evidence of you cheating, and I sit you down and
I accuse you of cheating. That isn't quite the accusation.
When I know I'm a crazy person, so I can
put my mind to rest. Mine is rested. You just
take it caught. Okay, Oh someone said you were lying here.
Hold on a second, you say, kick you out here?
Lying like a living room rug. Wanted to gotta be
(24:30):
upfront about it. See, I don't think that's an answer.
I simply don't think that's that's not an option.
Speaker 12 (24:34):
You're right, I'm lying.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I want him to go sneak around my back, behind
my back? What is mama? Yeah, nothing exactly. Yeah, Like,
I can't want him to be honest.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I'm not saying any of this is good, but I
can't just project every insecurity I have on too my partner.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
That's not fair to my partner.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
But you can do it without saying someone cheated. You
could say, hey, i'm having these thoughts. I know there's baby,
it's not mine.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
That means another dude put his stuff in there.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
No, you could say I know you didn't cheat, but like,
I have been hurt in the past and this is
what's coming up for me.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
You could have a conversation without accusing someone.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
If I didn't think you cheated, then we don't need
the test. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
This one is one that's gonna be tough to work around.
I don't think you can communicate that without I think
that's equally hurtful, maybe more hurtful. Wow, And you could
also a lot of people were suggesting that you just
blame it on mom in law, just get hurt.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Just hey my mom.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
I don't know relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I couldn't get her to shut up.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I couldn't Hey, Polly, Polly, Hi, Polly, not my niece.
My niece is not yet doesn't have an opinion on
this yet. She's for what would you do here?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
What? What's what? How do you get around this? What?
What do you say? What do you do?
Speaker 5 (25:50):
I mean I would leave. Honestly, this sucks because they've
been trying so long to have this kid and then
she finally has a kid and this shit all happens.
But the mother in law is a bigger problem than
we're talking about here, because why is she why is
she acting this on, why is she adding to this?
She's probably getting in her son's head, like honestly, that's
(26:12):
probably part of it as well. So I think she
has to go because there's a whole baggage here.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
It seems like, yeah, be honest to my mom.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I'd hope she talk me out of it, right, you know,
I hope is that's crazy? You know, like, let's someone
just texted my kid didn't look like me until my
kid was ten or something.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
So like, I don't know that that's you know, I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I think sometimes you gotta take you gotta you gotta uh.
You cannot just put everything else that you're feeling onto
other people simply because you're feeling it. You kind of
have to like sometimes have control over your thoughts and
and and so I don't know that necessarily putting that
on her is something you would ever recover from. But
then again, I think getting caught in this case is
not something you're ever going to get going to recover from.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
So I don't know there's a point of no return here. Yeah,
he just can't get cold.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Yeah, I agree, either way he would have been he
should be gone, okay if he older or if he
didn't tell her.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
You know, thank you, Polly, I appreciate it. Have a
good day you too. Just don't get friend. I don't
know about that. This is the Fred Show.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
We have your chance to win a trip for two
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(27:38):
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Speaker 1 (27:42):
All thanks to the Live Nation
This is the Fred Show.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We have your chance to win a trip for two
to see Kelly Clarkson's return to Las Vegas for her
brand new residency studio Sessions Live at the Coliseum at
Segret's Palace on August first. Text Sessions to three seven
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Day July thirty first to August second at the Flamingo,
(00:23):
Las Vegas and round trip bear Fair. A confirmation text
to be sent. Standard message of data rates apply all
thanks to the Live Nation. Ah Okay, So here's our
morality Monday, and this is from our friends at Reddit.
Am I the a whole? Eight five five five nine
one one oh three five you can call it. Text
the same number. My wife, who's twenty nine and I.
He's a thirty one year old male, have a three
year old son. I think some people can relate to this.
(00:46):
I work ten to twelve hour days as a contractor
while she's days home. Lately, she's been ventcing online into
friends saying that she feels like a single mom because
I'm never around. This is from the perspective of the
I'm the guy who works all the time.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I get this.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
She's overwhelmed. I am too, but I'm working my butt
off to keep us afloat. The other night, I heard
her refer to herself as a solo parent during a
zoom call with her mom. After she hung up, I
told her that I didn't appreciate that. I'm not partying,
I'm not neglecting our family. I'm working. She said, I'm
being defensive and that she feels like a single mom
(01:22):
because she handles everything alone at home. Now I feel guilty.
I don't want to invalidate her, but I also feel
like she's ignoring everything I do. Am I the ahle
for calling her out? I mean, she's not a single mom. No,
And if it requires ten to twelve hours a day
of this man working to provide their lifestyle, then it
(01:42):
sounds like they're both doing jobs right. He's doing his
job to make money, she's doing her job, which is
a job to raise the kids. But I hear this
argument sometimes when one person's at home and the other
person's at work, and that's a decision that was made
within the relationship that this is how we're going to
do this. And I hear this sometimes like, oh, it
must be nice, and I think that you can.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I don't think one side always sees the other side,
you know, cause it's like my buddies that travel, I
pilot buddies. Right, they're gone for you know, a week
at a time. They've always been this for thirty years, right,
It's been this way forever. And then they come back
and it's like it must have been nice to be
and you know, Dubai for a week must have been nice.
I was out here making lunches and driving a soccer
practice and it's like, well, first of all, you know,
(02:27):
maybe maybe it was nice in some regards, but in
other regards, like this is my life. I got, I
got aluminum, platinum, diamond, gold. You know, I'm the biggest
badass status at Hilton because I don't sleep in my house. Right, Like,
anytime you see somebody who'd like they when they check in,
someone hands them a bottle of champagne and like kisses
their feet. At first, I'm like, Wow, they're going to
(02:49):
get a really nice room. And then I'm like, in
order to get that, they don't ever get to go home, right, Right,
So my buddies. I talk about this all the time.
He's like, you know, I would much ray to be
here with my family. I would much try to be
here on my terms. But I'm here because the boss
needs to be here. And if the boss calls me
right now says we're leaving, we're leaving, which means I'm
not at the bar. You know, I'm not partying, I'm
(03:09):
not on a I'm not riding a camel, you know,
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Like this is not my vacation.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
This is work, and I don't get to choose when
or where or how or any of it. And so yeah,
I guess I'd get to sleep in a hotel bed
and sleep in sometimes and eat room service. But at
the same time, maybe I would rather be driving to
soccer practice. And then on the flip side, you know,
you've got the people going, you know, on the side
of the person who's doing all that, it's like, well,
(03:34):
maybe i'd like the night out sometimes or the night away,
or maybe I'd like the exposure to adults. Yes, you know,
I'd like to be able to go to I would
like to go to work for eight ten hours a day.
And you know, I know people who in this case,
HiT's the man who goes to work and the wife
keeps a part time job, and it actually costs them
money for her to go to work as a flight attendant.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I've used this example before.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
But they do it anyway because like, for him to
a home, he makes three times what she does as
a pilot, So for her to go to work costs money,
But they do it anyway because for her, it's like,
this is my independence, this is my job, this is
part of my identity. I want to go on a trip,
I want to hang out with adults. I want to
make a little bit of money.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
He's cool for that, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
But I just I think that this sort of argument
fundamentally is based on one side not seeing the other,
or one side wanting some elements that the other side.
I think everybody wants a little bit of the other thing.
But I'm just curious for those of you who deal
with this. If one person's primarily raising kids and one
person's primarily working, do you really think you could say that?
(04:37):
Is that a fair thing to say out loud? Because
it makes it solo parent kind of implies that the
other parent isn't involved or doesn't care. It's like deadbeat,
it's giving deadbeat, it is, but it's the exact opposite.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Also, like, if you feel that way, it's not the
time to get it out on a zoom call when
it can just be overheard by your partner. And what's
sad is I think it takes both people to make
the raising the children work.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
It does, you know, And comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So yeah, I just I and if I heard I heard,
If this is me and I heard my wife saying
this to her mom, that's even worse because it's like
you're telling your mom that I'm basically a bad dad.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
True.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know, I don't like to l is it l
or Ellie? This l how you doing?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
So this scenario here, it's like you've got the dad
working twelve hours a day. In this case, you've got
the mom at home and the mom feels like she's
a single parent, and the dad's like, hey, at first
he was upset, Now he feels guilty. But I don't
necessarily think that's a fair thing to say.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
About him, not at all as a truly solo parent.
This just makes me so angry. I'm actually shaking because
she's still like she's not has to work, she's not
worried about the bills herself. She's getting support in some way,
shape or form, even though he might not be present.
(05:55):
So it's just it's just not something that you can
just say like that, because she's just not even realized
in the impact she's getting from having that man in
her life.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I think that would trigger me too, because what
about the people who are in fact solo parents and
it all falls on them. They have to somehow figure
out a way to pay for the you know, pay
pay the bills and the mortgage and the rats and
the food and be at soccer practice and figure out
the logistics of the rest of that. I mean, and
I'm I'm not minimizing one or the other, but for you,
you have to figure out both.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Yeah, and not to minimize it either, because she still
has to step up in ways that maybe she didn't
anticipate when they originally decided to have a child. But
I mean, I remember when I just had a three
month old and I couldn't even just go to the bathroom,
I couldn't just go down the street and get a coffee. Like,
there's just so much you don't realize that actually happens
when you are a truly solo parent.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah, yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
She's definitely the a hole in this one.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Okay, all right, fair enough, I'll let her know.
Speaker 8 (06:50):
Thank you, Thank you guys, love your show.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Thank you, love you too. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (06:54):
I mean it's a good point that you've made though, too,
where it's like you look at one side, look at
the other side right like you got it better. I
know you got it better, but I think it's also
like for my personal experience, from my experience, I feel
like I'm looking at it that what does his husband
do when he comes home? Is he playing video games?
Is he disassociating from his family? I know the ten
to twelve hour shifts are long, and they're lengthy and hard,
but I feel like they can at least come home right,
(07:17):
play with the kids, make dinner, like help out, because
I think then that would take less off of the
mom who is home all day with the kids.
Speaker 10 (07:23):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
But let me ge.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Okay, So there's a question. I don't know the answer.
I'm asking like an open ended question, but is it
fair for someone who worked ten hours a day to
then come home and take an hour to decompress. Yeah,
because what I think. I think sometimes it's like, yeah,
you yes, you were at home with the kids all day,
But then am I expected And I don't know the answer,
but am I expected to just after my ten hour
(07:46):
day walk in and then just take over the parenting
role and then you get a break? I don't know
the answer to that, But like I think, sometimes there's
not a respect for what the other one's doing. It's
like I just went to work. I just sat in
traffic for an hour, right, Yeah, I just had Spin
up on me all day and watched Miss Rachel for
the thirty seven times.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Sounds like me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
So it's like I don't know, I've heard that one
before where that guy comes home he said he wants
to go to bed.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
And it's not that I don't know that he's.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
A bad guy or a bad girl or whatever, but
like you're only capable of so much.
Speaker 9 (08:17):
Yeah, communicate, I think at a community with the partner.
How are you feeling this moment? Hey, I just walked
in the house, like, give me, you know, thirty minutes
and then I think, just you got to.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
Work it out.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's hard, but you got to balance it some way. Melissa.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
Yeah, good morning.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Day, Melissa, good morning, welcome.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
What do you think so, I think the dad here,
it's definitely not the a hole. She just needs to
reorganize her thinking to be able to include him or
incorporate him with more parental responsibilities. Like you said, they're
both performing a job. Here is the financial income, the
financial stability, the security there. She is providing the parenting here,
(08:55):
whether she wants it or not. Is that's something that
she kind of normally agree to that, that's just the
way it is. If she's not reporting somewhere to go
to and provide the same wy he does, then she's
not the solo parent here. She's just they're just providing
different job aspects of the family part the being at home,
(09:16):
that being the parent like the absent or the present parent.
She's just the main go to right now for him physically,
but the dad is definitely there to provide for them.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, Melissa, thank you. Have a good day.
Speaker 8 (09:30):
Absolutely, because I feel like.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Sometimes people would switch roles even like I know, I'll
tell you what you think you think it's so great
you know doing this and the other that you think
it's so great you know, going to work and dealing
with these idiots, like how about I stay home and
I'll take care of my kids, because you know, I
think the other thing that's sort of negated here is
like maybe he loves I'm sure he loves his kids too,
and I'm sure he would rather be at soccer practice
(09:52):
or being the coach, or going to the games, or
or feeding the kids or whatever. I'm sure there's bonding
time that he's missing, right, So it probably has moments
where it's like, Okay, cool, kids crying, I gotta go
to work.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Bye. You deal with it.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
But then I'm sure it also has moments where it's like, man,
I can't believe I'm missing that. But if he were there,
then who's making the money to pay the bills? In
this case? You know, you can you could flip it
and it could be the other way around. It's like
the grass is always greener. I feel like Ashley hi
O in this scenario, if you're just tuning in, there's
(10:26):
a woman and this is from the male perspective, but
he heard his wife saying that she is a solo
parent because he works ten to twelve hours a day,
and she's telling people this like her mom and friends,
and he's offended and then he sort of vacillates on Well,
so I feel bad for saying something to her or not.
But this is the agreement that we came up with.
I work in a traditional setting. I pay the bills
(10:48):
and you take care of the kids. That doesn't make
you a solo parent. What do you think?
Speaker 11 (10:53):
No, she is absolutely wrong saying that she's a solo parent.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I think is just really hurtful.
Speaker 11 (10:59):
Have a two year old and a baby on the
way in three weeks, and my husband has a traveling
job and his travel is sporadic.
Speaker 8 (11:08):
He can up and go.
Speaker 11 (11:10):
And I only have a week or a couple of
weeks notice, and sometimes he's gone, you know what seems
like half a month and sometimes it's less. By no
means am I a solo parent at all. It is
very hard, especially with two small kids. But we had
a conversation, and I knew his work before we made
(11:30):
these decisions, and we have to continue to have conversations
about Hey, is do we need to make a change?
And I know job changes and things like that they're
not easy at all, but is it Do I need
to go part time? Do we want does he want
to be home or do we need to make a
(11:52):
change there, or do we need to make a lifestyle change,
you know with you know home or otherwise, And those
are big change and really tough decisions. But if it's
bothering her that much, it's definitely a conversation.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Because she's not a.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Solo parent at all.
Speaker 11 (12:10):
I will say that like, oh I'm I'm I'm solo
this week. My husband's gone and we have a village
that helps me out. So it's just you got to
talk about options, there was ways to work things out.
I'm with her, it's not easy, especially with two kids. Yeah,
being super pregnant, but by no means and my solo
(12:33):
mom and that's really hurtful to say about her husband.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah us, thank you for sharing. Congratulations by the way
on the new one. In a couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Making more listeners, we got to get bither.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
In my understanding is as soon as that baby's boy,
is it boy or girl?
Speaker 7 (12:52):
Girl?
Speaker 8 (12:53):
This time?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Apparently Jessica listener number eleven is moving to like microneese
or something, and like the I don't know if there's
a jungle there, but im my understanding it's some form
of jungle and there's no internet, so we lost her.
So the baby just so we'll never be more than thirteen.
So don't even try and get greedy.
Speaker 8 (13:08):
Okay, Okay, you gonna start.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
We'll let you guys start the whole Matt leave.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Thanks, you have a good day, Ashley. Thank you that
we keep adding cities and we only have the same
number of listeners. Hey, Linda, good morning, Hi doing great,
Thanks for calling, Thanks for listening. So I'm gonna give
you the final say here. And someone brought up military
families too, by the way, which I mean there's one.
It's like people gone for you know, Shelley's husband gone
(13:34):
for two three months at a time, longer years at
a time, sometimes depending on what's going on. And does
that make that person any any less of a parent?
I would argue, No, they're they're they're doing what they
gotta do. What do you think, right, Well, I think.
Speaker 10 (13:48):
The hardest part of this, this whole argument, is that
the role of motherhood is always somehow less stressful than
going to work for twelve hours. My ex husband was
an air trafficker, one of the most stressful jobs.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
In the world.
Speaker 10 (14:07):
As you might know, and you know, I'm at home
with two kids under two, and all I want to
do is take a shower.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
That's all I want to do is take a shower.
Speaker 10 (14:15):
And so you know, he comes home from work and yeah,
he wants to unwind, and yeah, you know, he's not
really interested in two screaming, you know, two year olds.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
But at the same time, I need you.
Speaker 10 (14:26):
To acknowledge that my job is as important as yours,
and I just need to take a shower. And so
there was always that, there was always that argument of
whose job is more important, and they both are.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
They both are important.
Speaker 10 (14:41):
But for me, I felt that as a mother, a
stay at home mother, my job was made less important
because of the importance of his job in the world.
And so I was just like, you know, can I
have five minutes him He's like, well, you know, I've
been busy all day and you know, my brain, I
you can't even think. And I'm like, I understand that,
(15:02):
and he's like, well, you've been home all day, you know,
as if that's a vacation. So I think in the
world in general, we need to give mothers credit for
how hard it is to be a mom full time,
and it is just as important, and it is just
as taxing at times, especially.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
With two hundred two.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
I agree, I agree, but you know I hate in
his defense, he's been dealing with you know, screaming pilots
all day. Then, are just the same as baby audible hair.
Yeah right, it's Kiki's court, all right, The honorable Kiak
is here taking away judge Kiki.
Speaker 12 (15:39):
All right, let's get into the courtroom. It says Kiki,
am I wrong for getting a DNA test on my
daughter because I didn't believe she was mine. My wife
and I have been together for ten years, married for
six We tried for years to have a baby, and
for years we were faced with struggles. But back in December,
we were finally blessed with our baby girl. I was shocked, excited,
(15:59):
but if I'm honest, I had a little bit of
doubt in my mind that the baby could really be mine,
just because we tried for so long and had no success.
To make matters worse, when my daughter was born, she
didn't really look like me. Even my own mother started
making comments about how she didn't really look like us
at all, different hair texture, eye color, and more. Eventually,
(16:20):
my mom suggested that I buy an at home DNA
test and test my daughter without telling my wife. Thankfully,
the results confirmed she is mine, and I felt a
huge sense of relief and was ready to move on
with our lives. But last week my wife found out
she was shopping online and saw the DNA test in
our recent purchase history.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And now she's not speaking to me.
Speaker 12 (16:41):
She's sleeping in the gas room and says that our
trust is forever broken. It really wasn't a trust thing
for me, but more of my anxiety just getting the
best of me. Am I wrong for doing what I
felt was necessary to make me feel secure?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Judge Kicky would say.
Speaker 12 (16:58):
You, oh, you dare wrong? You are so wrong, My boy,
you are wrong or you're wrong.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
You know, I gotta be smarter about hiding the evidence
of my opinion. I am a you do what you
gotta do, but people can't find out about it. You
can like you share the Amazon.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
What are we doing?
Speaker 12 (17:12):
I mean, I'm a technically single woman, but even yes,
I am Jason, Like if I said.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Where he's asleep?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, we find out that big Tip works all night,
which is why there's no chance that he'll hear any
of this racket.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Yeah, he's a smart man.
Speaker 12 (17:28):
But I would never do something like this and not
talk about it with my partner, Like, I feel what.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Are you supposed to say, Kiky, Like, hey, you just said,
I don't think this kid looks like me. I'm pretty
sure that somebody else inseminated you.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
No, I mean like, I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I don't think that you can have that comp I
mean that that wouldn't that be worse than just doing
this on the side and not telling anybody to appease
what you know to be your own insecurity.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
If you're gonna do it, do it well, bro.
Speaker 12 (17:56):
You can't do it on the same wallbrings account like
you should have, you have somebody else by you, but
actually a something You should be able to talk to
your partner about this, Like if you're having insecurities, if
you're having doubts, if there's something going on, you could say,
my mind's playing tricks on me, like can we fix this?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Can we figure it out?
Speaker 12 (18:12):
But to do this behind her back, and then you
and your mama and cahoots and then nobody told me anything.
Y'all over your DNA testing my child? Oh my yes,
I'm asleep in the guest room. You better be glad
you're still alive.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yes, And babies don't look like anybody like I'm so sick.
Speaker 9 (18:29):
A many people are like, this baby looks more like
babies look like babies.
Speaker 11 (18:32):
Okay, you're gonna look at a baby and be like,
this doesn't look like me, Like it's a baby.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's a baby. They need to cook even like grown.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
No, I mixed on this, you guys. So I'm supposed
to bring all of my insecurities into the relationship, Like
I'm supposed to sit down and be like, I think
you cheated on me and created a baby. Or if
I'm this crazy in my mind Loki like cabay side,
then I just go figure it out on my own
and then hopefully you never find out. Then I'm a
crazy person and that's on me and I needed some reassurance.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
You are okay with this.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
It's gonna end.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
It would potentially end the relationship to sit down and
accuse the mother of your child of cheating because simply
because you're insecure.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
No no, no, no.
Speaker 12 (19:13):
See he could have came to her and said, you know,
my mind, is something going on with my mind after
having this baby. We've been through so many struggles like
help me ease my mind, wife, you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Know, but what damage to this do if he's just
confirming what he already wants to know, Like, what is it?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
What damage has really taken?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I mean, either way, either way he's saying I don't
trust my wife, whether he sits down and talks to
her or gets a DNA test. Either way he's saying
I don't trust you, which means there's an overarching, a
larger issue going on here.
Speaker 12 (19:47):
But you can't trust now. I can never trust you
or your mama. I don't know what y'all will do.
You know now you're forever. I'm always looking at you
with a side eye because you had this whole operation
on the side of our marriage and never mention it
to me.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You just gotta be smarter about it. You just gotta
not get caught, is what this says. If you're if
you got insecurities and you want answers, and you can
get them and no one ever has to, no one's
ever the wiser, then you go get those answers and
you make sure you never get caught. That's it, Oh
my Lanta eight five five five five, Well, because like
I don't I don't know if you're gonna live with this.
(20:19):
If you are, if you believe this, and you have
no evidence, no evidence whatsoever, and this is something that
you just have to clear your mind about. And I
sit down, I say, Kiki, is that kid mine? I
want a DNA test. I'm saying you're a cheater for
no reason.
Speaker 12 (20:35):
No, because you know you can say postpartum men go
through postpartum two.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Stop it.
Speaker 12 (20:41):
You know you could, like I'm just saying, he would
have to me. You could have blamed it on your
mental health, and I would have worked with you. But
the fact that you're on here.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
You a cheater even if my mental health is off,
which my mental health is always off. And you knew
that when I when we got when we hotel.
Speaker 12 (20:54):
Call me a cheated to my face, now behind my back. Okay, Collina,
what would you do if Poppy did?
Speaker 6 (21:00):
Uh?
Speaker 9 (21:01):
Well, I'm taking a grave at the cemetery because Dad
is like, I'm already postpart I'm already going through everything.
I cooked this baby for nine months and you're accusing
me of that. Sometimes I look at my daughter, though
I don't even know if she's mine, because she looks
nothing like me, even like just like her beautiful, like
you know, skin texture, everything, her color. I'm like, oh
my god, like, are you even my baby? But I
might have to But if how he ever asked me that,
(21:22):
or him and his mother went behind my back, I
don't even know what's worse. To be honest, I don't
know if you're going behind my back room just straight
up telling me I want a DNA test.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You cannot get caught. If you're going to do this,
you cannot get caught. That's really what this comes down to,
is you just simply cannot get caught. Hey, Chloe, Hi, Chloe,
Welcome to Kekey's court on The Fred Show.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
What It Did a situation.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Dude is insecure because he doesn't think that his kid
is his, and so despite the fact that he has
no evidence of her cheating whatsoever, he wins and he
and his mom went and had a DNA test to
prove that in fact, the kid was his and ideos
and then his wife found out because he was a dummy,
and he bought all want a shared account, dummy?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But what do you think?
Speaker 7 (22:05):
I don't know, Like, honestly, I think probably you should
go because there's like so many things that are wrong
in this situation. For me, one, you say that, oh,
I had to do it because my anxiety was so bad. Okay,
So like, if you struggle with mental health, you should
be talking with your partner about that, and you should
probably have a therapist because chances are if you were
talking with your therapist about all of this, you would
(22:26):
not have needed to buy the maternity test. Second issue,
what is mom in law doing? Like, there are things
that you like say, and then there are things that
you don't say, and it seems like mom in law
is a little bit of a hater and there's just
like something you just don't tell your kids about their
(22:48):
other partners, you know, Like if my mom has some
opinions about my husband, I tell her, yeah, thank you,
keep them to yourself and let's keep it moving. But
I feel like this is also pretty severe where you're like, yeah,
I don't think the care yours either, Like what.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, Chloe thinking, No, I'm glad you called, thanks for listening,
have a good day.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I mean, look, I'm a thinker, you know, I let
my mind get the best of me. I have my insecurities.
I wouldn't say, you know, this would hopefully be one
of them. But if I need to rest my mind
over something that I know is ridiculous, I've got two choices.
I can either it's either mind ever matter or I
control I control it. And I said this is ridiculous,
(23:29):
and I have to talk to myself and say, hey, hey, Fred,
this is like you're a crazy person and this is
a crazy thought, and move past it. And if I
simply cannot do that, I don't need to torture you
and sit down and accuse you of being a bad person.
I get answers on my own.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
And get caught. I already said, don't get caught.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
How could you live with yourself if you did that
in secret?
Speaker 7 (23:50):
Though?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
See, I could live with myself a lot better than
sitting down and accusing a person who I don't really
think cheated cheated because I'm a crazy person.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
But if you don't really think the cheated, then why
do you need the test?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
You've never had a thought that just was unreasonable, that
just didn't add up.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Of course I have, but I would share that. I wouldn't.
I wouldn't get my book.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Project like I know that if I really have no
evidence of you cheating, and I sit you down and
I accuse you of cheating. That isn't quite the accusation.
When I know I'm a crazy person, so I can
put my mind to rest. Mine is rested. You just
take it caught. Okay, Oh someone said you were lying here.
Hold on a second, you say, kick you out here?
Lying like a living room rug. Wanted to gotta be
(24:30):
upfront about it. See, I don't think that's an answer.
I simply don't think that's that's not an option.
Speaker 12 (24:34):
You're right, I'm lying.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I want him to go sneak around my back, behind
my back? What is mama? Yeah, nothing exactly. Yeah, Like,
I can't want him to be honest.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I'm not saying any of this is good, but I
can't just project every insecurity I have on too my partner.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
That's not fair to my partner.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
But you can do it without saying someone cheated. You
could say, hey, i'm having these thoughts. I know there's baby,
it's not mine.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
That means another dude put his stuff in there.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
No, you could say I know you didn't cheat, but like,
I have been hurt in the past and this is
what's coming up for me.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
You could have a conversation without accusing someone.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
If I didn't think you cheated, then we don't need
the test. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
This one is one that's gonna be tough to work around.
I don't think you can communicate that without I think
that's equally hurtful, maybe more hurtful. Wow, And you could
also a lot of people were suggesting that you just
blame it on mom in law, just get hurt.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Just hey my mom.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
I don't know relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I couldn't get her to shut up.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I couldn't Hey, Polly, Polly, Hi, Polly, not my niece.
My niece is not yet doesn't have an opinion on
this yet. She's for what would you do here?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
What? What's what? How do you get around this? What?
What do you say? What do you do?
Speaker 5 (25:50):
I mean I would leave. Honestly, this sucks because they've
been trying so long to have this kid and then
she finally has a kid and this shit all happens.
But the mother in law is a bigger problem than
we're talking about here, because why is she why is
she acting this on, why is she adding to this?
She's probably getting in her son's head, like honestly, that's
(26:12):
probably part of it as well. So I think she
has to go because there's a whole baggage here.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
It seems like, yeah, be honest to my mom.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I'd hope she talk me out of it, right, you know,
I hope is that's crazy? You know, like, let's someone
just texted my kid didn't look like me until my
kid was ten or something.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
So like, I don't know that that's you know, I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I think sometimes you gotta take you gotta you gotta uh.
You cannot just put everything else that you're feeling onto
other people simply because you're feeling it. You kind of
have to like sometimes have control over your thoughts and
and and so I don't know that necessarily putting that
on her is something you would ever recover from. But
then again, I think getting caught in this case is
not something you're ever going to get going to recover from.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
So I don't know there's a point of no return here. Yeah,
he just can't get cold.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Yeah, I agree, either way he would have been he
should be gone, okay if he older or if he
didn't tell her.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
You know, thank you, Polly, I appreciate it. Have a
good day you too. Just don't get friend. I don't
know about that. This is the Fred Show.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
We have your chance to win a trip for two
to see Kelly Clarkson's return to Las Vegas for her
brand new residency studio Sessions live in the Coliseum at
Secrets Palace on August first. Text Sessions to three seven
three three seven now for a chance to win two
tickets to the August first show, two nights hotels day
July thirty first to August second at the Flamingo, Las Vegas,
(27:38):
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Speaker 1 (27:42):
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