July 15, 2025 • 31 mins
Fred tells us Elmo was hacked over the weekend and was saying all kinds of crazy things on X. Plus, we debate relationship drama on Stay or Go, listen now!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Bread Show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let's get you hotep a trip for two to see
Jennifer Lopez her brand new Las Vegas residency. Jennifer Lopez
Up All Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty
twenty six at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace, dext Palace
to three seven three three seven right now for a
chance to win two tickets to the March thirteenth show
at two Night Hotel Day March twelve through the fourteenth
(00:24):
at pe Flamingo Hotel Casino, Las Vegas and Ron Trevert Fair,
A confirmation text will be sent. Dennered message and data
rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are
on stale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows
running December thirtieth through January third, and March sixth through
the twenty eighth.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Fred's show is on Fred's Biggest Stories of.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
The Day Now.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
The gym one is pretty common. So if I go
to someone's work, if if I find out their schedule
and I show up occasionally when they're working because I
want the exposure to them, that's creepy. But I know
a lot of people will try and figure out when
people work out and then they'll show up at the
same time to work out the only thing and apparently
that's not creepy.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
It's the same level of it. Creepy is not the word.
The women like being approached in the gym.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Now, that would be my second thing is how many
you know, how many people man or women are prepared
to be approached at the gym. And a lot of
people don't wear their rings when they're at the gym
because they're working out, so you don't you know, that's
usually my tell, but you don't know. And then it's like,
I'm working out, I haven't showered, I don't look that good. Now,
some people go to the gym to meet someone, but
(01:28):
you don't know the difference the way these.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Gym outfits are set up, the little leggings that you know,
tighten everything on your body and show off every curve. Yeah,
it's like I think some people really go for that reason,
like look.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
At me, Yeah, that's why I know, that's why you go.
Oh yeah, But Kiki wears the boots with the fur
and actually Kiki is one of the few people I
know who works out in denim, which.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
Is make.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
My trainer, Gideon has been asking me about that, like,
how does she how is she able to stay so
fit in full denim? Had to tow It is hilarious.
The flexibility is incredible. It's not a moisture, you know,
Is it a breathable fabric?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't know. I don't think it. No, No, I
don't think so. Headlines.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Guys, the Northeast is under flooding a flooding threat as
storms rolled through. Roughly fifty million people across the Northeast
are dealing with floodwatches with the risk of severe flash
flooding in some areas. Major cities like New York City, Washington,
d C, and Baltimore are facing flash flood warnings. Video
for Manhattan shows floodwaters rushing into a subway station as
passengers boarded the train. NYPD Transportation released the statement on
(02:38):
x saying that flooding would cause delays. Up to five
inches of rain has already fallen in parts of northern
and central New Jersey as well. They were brief groundstops
at New York airports yesterday, So flooding all over the country.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Elmo got hacked on X.
Speaker 6 (02:51):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Now, this is terrible.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
If you saw some of the things Elmo was saying, yeah, Now,
I think I would have pretty quickly realized it wasn't Elmo,
because the Almo I know wouldn't say somebody things. But
Elma was definitely not tickled. Almos's verified ex account, which
has more than six hundred and fifty thousand followers, was
taken over by an unknown hacker on Sunday. In a
short burst of posts, the hijack account shared anti Semitic slurs,
(03:16):
racist language, and strange comments about former president well current
President Donald Trump, and Jeffrey Epstein. This is former president
unless something happen I don't know in the last hour,
all written in Elmo's usual third person style. Well, that
was nice. They were able to adapt it to the
way that Elmo would say it. Elmo is anti Semitic,
Elmo is raising No, he's not, He's terrible. ABC News
(03:40):
in Sesame Street are reporting that this is disgusting and
does not reflect Elmo's values. So they were able to
take the account back and it wasn't really him.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
A lot of officers are doing this.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Starbucks is the latest telling its office workers to spend
more time at their desks or take a buyout, as
the company pushes to revive lacking sales and store it's
in person culture. Starting in October, employees must be in
the office at least four days a week. The CEO
Brian Nicol, who was the former CEO of Chipotle, he
was the guy who was telling everyone to do the
head nod. When you can remember this, it was like
(04:13):
a year ago, maybe it was a little longer than that,
but he'd say, you know, if you want, he's kind
of a good looking guy and he was making videos
and do interviews. He was like, you know, if you
want a little more, a little more salsa, a little
more peico, just you know, just give him a head nod.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
So people were.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Going to Chipotle and be like, I'll take a little
more guacamole, would like the week in the head nods
And that was his advice though, so he says that
you need to come four days a week, or you
can take a voluntary buyout, which includes a cash payout
if you opt to leave. He framed the decision as
an attempt to rebuild Starbucks in person culture, arguing that
(04:47):
face to face collaboration feels creativity and quicker problem solving,
qualities he says are essential as the company sneaks a turnaround.
We do our best work when we're together. Now, this
guy got the ji. I think he makes a hundredllion
dollars a year I saw the other day, so he's
getting paid pretty well.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's pretty good. And then I remember when he got
the job.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
He lives in California, but the headquarters is in Seattle,
so the company flies him on a jet so that
he can get to work. I don't know if it's
every day or every couple days, but part of his
agreement with the company was, I'll you can open me
a little office in California, so I'm in the office,
and then they fly him on the corporate jet to Seattle. Yeah,
(05:26):
so I don't I don't know how that's gonna work
if he needs people to be in the unless he's
counting his California office the office, I think, you know, collaboratively,
he probably needs to be in the Seattle headquarters. So
I don't know if that means he has to move
now or they're just going to fly him in like
you know, the rest of us drive every day. That's insane,
But I would imagine there's some employees using that as
an argument like, wait a minute, Brian, where's right exctly exactly?
(05:51):
But this is beginning to happen a lot of places, Amazon, JP, Morgan, Chase, Google, Walmart,
They're all rolling back their pandem pandemic era. Flexibility. India's
government is seeking to limit the temperature settings of new
air conditioners to save electricity in the country that is
considered the fastest growing market for them. The Power Minister
(06:11):
proposed to rule in June requiring that air conditioners sold
in the country have thermostats that can be set to
no lower than sixty eight degrees. So here's my question.
I mean, sixty eight that's pretty low. If as low
as it goes, we'll really get that cold, I would wonder.
But then you know, what if I want sixty What
(06:31):
if I want sixty five? What if I'm in a
hotel room. Now look, I realized it's extremely wasteful. But
the first thing that I get it, we're trying to
save the environment here. But the first thing that I
do when I check into the Marriot is go all
the way down as far down as it will go,
all the way down, sixty five, sixty four, whatever it is.
I mean, we're making that thing in ice box. That
is part of the luxury experience is I can turn
(06:54):
that thing all the way down. That little thing will
get so quick, go to Vegas all the way down
that yeah, because it's yes, but sixty eight, I mean
it's sixty eight going to be cold enough.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
My house is at seventy and it's fine all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Seventy Yeah, you sleep with seventy degrees.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Cold and we have the fan on. Yeah, freez there.
I'd rather work, denim, you sleep at seventy degrees. I
just chocked at seventy right now?
Speaker 5 (07:23):
What is yours?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Fred?
Speaker 5 (07:24):
I'm scared as low as it will go, like sixty
five ish.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Well, that's not true because that's actually pretty bad for
the air conditioner. I think I said it's sixty seven. Okay,
it doesn't get that, but it doesn't get that cold
because you know it's so hot outside. They tell you
can get maybe twenty degrees out of your air conditioner
from the outside temperature.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Got it twenty ish.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So if it's ninety and if I can mean so,
if I put it at sixty seven, I know it's
working like that, but I can you know, I can't
get my house to that but it needs to be
cold at not in the sleepy time. It needs to
be cold. There is nothing worse than hot sleeping. I'm sorry,
that is a that would be a relationship ender. You
are trapped if I met someone in there like, oh no,
seventy degrees seventy two absolute.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I'm sorry, nice meeting you. I'm gonna go back to
the gym.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Now and creep on somebody else and find somebody else
that has you know, that's that's a human and that
some form of robot. Because my thing about sleeping is
if it's if it's cold and you're in the bed,
you can warm yourself off. If it's hot, there is
no reprieve, there's no way around it.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
You're supposed to sleep in cold.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
It's better for you.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Thank you. Well, this is and that's why I do it.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
But this is no this is this is not something
I could negotiate on, Like this would be the end
of a relationship for me.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Yeah, and that's a bill that I don't even think
twice about, Like, just throw it an meg. The bill
can be for one hundred thousand dollars. At this point,
I don't care, Like I'm not thinking twice about here,
I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
But for some reason growing up like that was a
thing in the house, like don't touch to.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
A c Like are you right now? Oh, you can't
touch it either.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I have to wait till it's eighty degrees in the
house to turn the air on. And then I text
Mike and I'm like, the dogs are really hot, like
the girls are panting. I think they're really hot. We
should probably turn the air on. So he wants it
even hotter. Well, he's like, I work in the heat
all day, Like why do you guys get to sit
in there?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
My design?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
But once it goes on, it's on, like the whole summer.
It never comes off. So I'll take I'll take seventy.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Mechanic had to go to school upheal both ways in
the snow, yeah, Lord. And mental health experts reveal why
some people cannot help being late to everything Paulina Late.
Experts say it might not be laziness, but a condition
called time blindness, and that's where people genuinely struggle to
(09:36):
estimate or manage time. It's linked to eighty HD and
other conditions like autism, OCD, depression, and anxiety. It's an
executive function issue affecting parts of the brain like prefrontal
cortex and cerebellum. Common signs include underestimating task durations, frequent lateness,
and difficulty switching between activities. How to cope, experts say
(09:59):
use timers, building consistent daily routines, breaking tasks into smaller steps,
and setting external reminders, all methods proven to reduce lateness.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
We were just talking about this this morning.
Speaker 6 (10:12):
You have it.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You have time blindness.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
I do, or I'd like to call it running on
Mexican time, like when you did.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
You know you're going to be an hour late.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
You tell everybody to come at three because the party's
really at four, because you know everyone's going to walk
in at four.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
You have a problem switching between tasks, like you're switching
all the time, except.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You forget to return to the previous task. So there's that.
You know, you you can pivot, but going on.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Things gets done, though, are things I think sumptioning?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Can you hear us today? Yeah, I'm currently no, that's
true us. No, it's true. Yeah, I'm working on me.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
But I I have add I got the whole thing,
I got all those Probably I'm working on me.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
If dinners at seven thirty, we expect to see paulling
it at eight fifteen.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It just is. It just is correct, So so we
don't even.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But the thing is, if I told you was at
eight to fifteen each old but nine, So like the
whole thing about I'd have to tell you is at
five for you.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
To show up at some Oh that's what I meant. Yes,
it has to be the other way.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Yeah, And I think I'm getting a little tiny better
just because every kid. Yeah, a little tiny better because
ever since having a child, I feel like, you know,
we got to get to things, appointments, and I can't
miss though it was like baby stuff. So I'm like,
you know what, I like being on time now it's
my new personality.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
My issue is not that I want to be late
or that I am not considered considerate of other people's time.
My issue is I don't I don't want to be
so early that I feel that I'm wasting time. I
want to arrive when it's time.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
That's how I feel.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I don't like being somewhere ten minutes early and then
just standing around waiting. I feel like and then I
can I can't do anything, Like I'm not being productive.
So I try and do like one more thing, like, oh,
that wall needs to be painted. I got ten minutes
I can, you know, like I try and do one
more thing at home. But the problem is, you know you,
it could take in a big city, it could take
(11:54):
the ten minutes that you that you think it's going
to take to get there, it could take thirty minutes.
And so sometimes I'll just cut, I'll just the difference
and say, Okay, I'm gonna get myself fifteen and then
it still takes thirty, you know what I mean. Like
I never seem to hit it right, but I'm always
about five minutes late. I feel like to like dinners
and things in the evening because I'm trying to get
one more thing done.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Yes, that's like me joining a teams meeting or a
zoom meeting. Like I'm not joining early, bro, I'm not
doing the whole I talk.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
To you for.
Speaker 8 (12:23):
Good.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I'm just gonna give it a couple more minutes to
make sure everybody joins nothing. There's nothing more desperate sounding
than that. Let me just give this a couple more minutes,
hoping people show up. Somebody meaning we're just gonna give
everybody a couple more minutes. Okay, Well I should have
come in. I should have comment seven oh four. Then
if we're gonna give it but a couple more minutes.
But then if I come at seven oh four, we
didn't give everybody a couple more minutes and the meeting
(12:46):
has already started. Now I'm late. You see, this is
the story of my life. This is the press show.
Let's get you Hotel A true for TUNI see Jennifer
Lopez her brand new Las Vegas residency. Jennifer Lopez Up
All Night Live in Laws Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty
six at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace dext Palace to
three seven three three seven right now for a chance
(13:08):
to win two tickets to the March thirteenth show at
two night hotels day March twelfth through the fourteenth, pat
Key Flamingo Hotel, Casino, Las Vegas and Round tre Fair Fair.
A confirmation text will be sent. Dennered message and data
rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are
on stale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows
running December thirtieth through January third, and March sixth through
(13:29):
the twenty eighth.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's stay or go all right, Serena is here. Good morning, Serena, welcome.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
How's it going doing great, Serena? What's going on in Sierrago?
This is I mean, the headline here is that you
just had a baby? What two months ago?
Speaker 8 (13:47):
Yeah, two months ago, a little baby boy?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, congratulations, that's exciting you and your husbands Gina a
little biac. So what well, yeah, we'll no hit and
tell the story, Serena. So you had this baby, which
is wonderful, and your husband he's acting not acting right.
Speaker 8 (14:02):
About this, He's not And listen, you know, just to
be clear, I'm not, you know, considering leaving my husband.
But lately, you know, he told me he doesn't want
the baby sleeping in our room anymore. And you know
that's tough because you know, we had the baby two
months ago and he says that if I cared about
(14:23):
our relationship at all, I'll move the baby into his
own room.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Okay, so you know, and that is I'm sorry to
rupt you, but is it the disruption? Is this sleeping disruption?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
What is his issue? What does he want the baby
in the room?
Speaker 8 (14:37):
No, I you know, I'm not totally sure, Like he
just like gets visibly upset, like I think, you know,
he thinks I'm hogging the baby. And he gets visibly
upset when, you know, when I kiss the baby and
hug the baby, and he says, you never cuddle me
as much as him.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
He's jealous of the baby.
Speaker 8 (14:56):
She's jealous of the baby.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I mean, what does he what does he expect you
to do exactly two months postpartuim is he expect you
to I guess at this point just to banish the child,
but the child in another room, like we didn't do this.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Oh my god, it's all about I.
Speaker 8 (15:11):
Know, I know, I don't know. You know, he's saying
that like ever since I gave birth, all I wanted
to be is a mom and not a wife. And
you know, that's pretty intense. And he also gets upset
because you know, we decided I decided to breastfeed, even
though we had originally talked about not doing it.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
That was an issue for him. That was a really
big issue for him. Affects him.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I'm asking that question, uh, Paulina as a mom, Yeah,
I'm asking that question. Honestly, I don't know the answer.
But how does that negatively affect him.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
It showed in first and foremost mom can make that choice.
So and I congrats on doing that because the full
time job to breastfeed. The only issue quote and I'm
using it this quote, is that he might not be
able to feed the baby at night via bottle or whatever. Right,
because sometimes they say mom wants to rest, how is
dad going to feed the baby? But that you guys
can figure that all out later your baby, or.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's just more time mom has to dedicate to the baby.
As if if there were it was moodel feeding, then
I suppose anybody could feed the baby.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Correct, Okay, right right?
Speaker 8 (16:10):
You know, so it's just like you know, he says,
I treat him like an absentee father because they don't
tell him when the baby's getting a bath or when
you know, when he's going down for a nap, Like
I make the decisions myself. But obviously I'm you know,
I'm not doing that on the purpose.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And I have a feeling that someone texted this. But
this has something to do with intimacy as well, which
you're two months postpartum, so I mean, aren't we a
little again. I'm not going to get too detailed about that.
But don't we wait a little longer than that anyway,
isn't it? Is it sixty days? Well, typically six weeks
you have a good checkop. You go to a checkop,
but they.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Kind of clear you or what depending, you know, if
you have c section, if you have the vaginal birth.
But in two months you can still be in diapers.
So I don't understand what his way is.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
So we're not even really there yet, not there yet
necessarily not yeah.
Speaker 8 (16:55):
Yeah, so you know, and obviously we're both just exhausted
and I'm really trying my best. And I just never
imagined in a million years he'd react like this.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I don't mean to be insensitive, Serena, but what did
he think was going to happen? I mean, you and
I realized it's an adjustment, but he's you know, you guys,
I assume discussed having children and you and you and
you conceived one, and for the last nine months you've
been you know, pregnant, you know, baking this this this
little guy, and now maybe so I would think that
(17:26):
the transition would be sort of happening, right, like, Okay,
we're adding to the family. There's going to be a
new obligation here. There's going to be someone something dividing
our attention a little bit. We have another But I
guess I don't understand why he's surprised that you have
to raise the kid and that you can't just put
the kid in another room and pay attention to me
all the time.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Like it's it's very much me behavior. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 8 (17:51):
And you know, like you said, it's not like we
just decided to do this overnight. You know, this was
a discussion. This was many months of talking about it,
and obviously the baby needs more right now at this stage,
and like it's just temporary. It goes by so quickly,
and I just she just can't see that. And I
think he's taking it really personally, and I did not
(18:14):
expect to set off from him, and I just I
just don't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I'm sorry to be negative, but this is him making
this about him. He's not being considerate of you. He's
not being considerate of what you're going through. He's not
being considerate of what the child needs.
Speaker 7 (18:27):
It.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Clearly isn't ready to make the adjustment that he's going
to have to share your attention now with another human.
He's acting like this is a surprise, like he wasn't
involved in the process of making the kid through postpartum.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I don't know the answer.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Either, but I mean I get that someone just said
mental health as well as a new debt. I don't
know if that means that a man's mental health is wild.
Like this is a transition for sure, But making her
feel bad about tending to the child, I think is
really the wrong way to go.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
I agree. I mean, listen, everyone's world is upside down
right now, right especially you as a brand new mom.
Just everything you're going through. I mean, you are in
the thick of it, and I feel like if anything
the husband has to your husband has to be so
supportive of anything that you need in that moment. And
because he's not, he's focused on his I don't even
know what he's focused on. If he just wants you,
you know, intimately, or whatever like that that needs to
(19:21):
be put to the side. I'm sorry you guys. Well,
once again, have all the amazing sex and all the
amazing times together and dance and all of that, but
right now I think like your focus should be truly
both on the baby.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Get two months out, honestly, and and not that his
needs don't matter. I don't mean to just dump on
this guy, but two months after having a baby, he
needs to be focused on what's best for you and
the baby and and his needs can be met down
the road.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
And yeah, and I don't.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I don't think his needs are gonna any closer to
being met when he's just acting like the baby. Yeah,
these are not This is not a good sign for me.
And again I don't have any experience in any of this,
but it just doesn't feel right to me, and the
text are overwhelmingly in favor of this is really bad.
And I'm sorry to say that to you because I
know you just had a baby with this guy, but
(20:07):
this is really not the kind of supportive, you know,
selfless behavior that you would hope from someone after what
you just went through. But let me take some phone
calls on this and see if you and by the way,
you're welcome to feel differently about it, and maybe you
can enlighten us in some ways, because the men in
the room here have never had a baby, so I
don't I admittedly do not know. To me, though, my
(20:30):
thought is it feels bad.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yeah, I feel so. I feel so bad. For you, Mama.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 8 (20:34):
Yeah, and you know again, I'm not like thinking about
leaving him, but just like I just feel like this
confirms everything that I've sort of been thinking, and you know,
I don't want to lose myself or my marriage. You know.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Well, good luck to you and let's see what some
people have to stay here. And I appreciate you sharing
and all the best. Have a great day. Thanks you too,
Vice serena maternal mental health professional. Men go through postpartum
mood changes and postpartum depression. It's a maternal mental I'm
a maternal mental health professional.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Okay, so that may be what he's experiencing, but.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
It doesn't necessarily change the negative effect it's having on
her and the pressure it's adding to what has to
be done. It's not a choice to care for the baby, correct,
And you know, it's not like she can just go
I'll do a little less of that.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Hey, Julie, good morning, Good morning. How are hi, Julie.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
So you just heard this this situation, but this woman
is is experiencing sort of a negative reaction from her
husband that all of a sudden there's this new being
that she's having to devote so much attention to what
do you think when you hear it, tell the story.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
It's a reminiscent. We have three kids, and they do
get jealous, and that's the bottom line. And he's going
to have to figure out. She's gonna have to talk
to somebody and deal with his emotions because this is
a newborn. They they need the parents. There's no one
taking care of the baby. And he's just going to
(22:05):
have to step up a little bit and do what's
best for the family right now. Now, I'm not saying
that marriage doesn't come first, but you know, dude needs
to wait four months.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 9 (22:17):
With that extra special attention that he really is craving,
that's all.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
It's funny you mentioned that, Julie, because a lot, a lot,
a lot, a lot of years ago. I think it
had to do with him a politician cheating on his
wife or something, and someone brought this up. This was
a long time ago I heard of this, and that
the person hosting the debate was saying, you know, people
say when it comes to marriage, they most people will
answer the question when asked, you know, what's the most
important part of your family, They'll say, well, the kids,
(22:43):
my kids are the most important thing to me, and
because that sounds right, but or it sounds harsh to
say that my spouse is the most important thing. But
the fact of the matter is this person was arguing
that's the right answer, my spouse is the most important
thing in the relationship. Because if that's not solid, then Mike,
kids who come to at a close second will not
necessarily have a good upbringing. Mike, I would think the
(23:05):
asterisk to that would be when the kid is literally
an infant and the mom is literally post part part
of I mean, it's like, you can wait, you can
wait sixty ninety days for us to get this together.
This this baby relies on me for absolutely everything. It's
not a choice, it's not a preference. It is a mandate, right,
(23:25):
Like if we don't do it, it's not happening. Correct,
So your husband can be the most important thing to
you once we get this baby, like you know, with
a with a hard head, once it's once its skull
forms fully Yes, right, I guess that's where I'm at
(23:46):
with this. But Julie, thank you for calling.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
It's like, guys, you know, this isn't a this isn't
a ten year old, you know, It's like I'd rather
drive the kid to practice and have sex with you.
Like that's that that would indicate something I think a
lot deeper. This is, Hey, I'm going through all this
stuff emotionally and physically and and and figuring figuring out
how to raise a human and you're worried about whether
you're getting cuddled enough.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
It takes two years for a mom to really get
back to her quote normal self. I'm gonna say that,
so I'm not even there yet myself. So I can't
even imagine how she feels.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Again, I don't mean to be like anti male here.
I just I think a lot of guys listening now
would have who have been through this. I gotta think
they're thinking, like, dude, it's not about you right now,
Like it's it can't be about you right now.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Emily, Hi, Hi, Hi? What do you think?
Speaker 7 (24:36):
So?
Speaker 10 (24:36):
I have two babies. I had two babies under and
under two years, and I think I've breastpaid both of them.
And the breasting issue is the thing that really sticks
out to me is like sticky in the situation. I
really don't understand what his problem with her breastfeeding. Is
what I love to say though, is while I think
(24:59):
this this is like a weird situation and he's definitely
putting a lot of unnecessary anxiety on a new mom,
I am sympathetic to the fact that, like, having a
baby is an adjustment for both partners, and there is
definitely a point where you want to kick the baby
out of your room because you're ready to have some
space back. But two months plus part him is not
(25:22):
that time. Maybe four to six months is a more
of all time.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I think That's what I'm saying is right now would
not be the time to put pressure. I don't think
on the relationship to make it about you, because I
just feel like there's so much adjustment going on, and
I don't think it's necessarily personal. I don't think, but
but I think I think that one way it could
create a tremendous amount of divide is by behaving this
way right now, right right.
Speaker 10 (25:48):
And I think that a lot of time, well more
often than not, we are very focused in that nine
months of growing a baby on the needs that the
baby will have, But there's not a lot of suff
court about like what a new mom needs, especially a
breastfeeding mom or women with their hormones and postpart of
issues and how to be like partners in that situation.
(26:11):
And so I do think there's ways to move past it.
Like when I was pregnant with our second baby, our
first daby was had just turned one, and we decided
to do some couple counseling courses that are about like
bringing home baby that like focus less on the like
how to feed and diaper and take care of your baby,
and more on like how to be partners in.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's interesting, that's a good idea.
Speaker 10 (26:37):
Yeah, there's one specifically by the Gotman. They're like pretty
famous couple counselors and it's called Bringing Home Baby. So, like,
I do think there's ways to work past it. But
he has to be willing to like listen and hear her.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
He needs good points. Good points, Emily, thank you for calling,
Thanks for listening. Have a good day.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, you too, appreciate you. You, Julian, were not considering
his feelings, really.
Speaker 6 (27:04):
Not, because Y're focusing more on him. I want to
be intimate with him.
Speaker 11 (27:10):
I had a baby too, and the father of my
daughter was really involved with the child.
Speaker 6 (27:15):
I tell him when.
Speaker 11 (27:16):
I'm going to feed the baby, I tell him when
the baby's going to sleep, and everything else in between.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
It's the commedy.
Speaker 11 (27:22):
I believe her issue is of no one had to
communicate with the father, of putting him involved actually in
the baby's child. And when I had my first baby,
I was very insecure because I will call her father
through the trauma that I've been with all the time.
But I don't understand when you said that it's an
(27:42):
intimate issue and everything. But she did mention of him
feeling absent in the child's life.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You know that's fair, that's fair much.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Maybe and someone touched right, Julian, I'm so sorry. Someone
texted maybe maybe he hasn't bonded with the child yet.
I think for me it was the kind of about
you don't cuddle me, You've never cuddled me as much
as you've cuddled him.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
My daughter will feel like that. But at the same time,
I had my daughter in certain place.
Speaker 11 (28:16):
In a toy band.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
I apologize, my English is my second language.
Speaker 11 (28:21):
My daughter in a in a play band by the
by the bed, so he wasn't she wasn't in the
bed with us. So maybe other.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
Than putting the child in it on his own room.
Speaker 11 (28:35):
Maybe you know, put a little band or something next
to next to her.
Speaker 6 (28:40):
Or something in the womb and that and whatnot.
Speaker 11 (28:43):
But at the same time, she they just have the
baby within two much so maybe he will probably do some.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
Research and see a way to make her feel better
with him being in the in the intimacy as well,
because at the time is not really sex really all
that they're sitting together and talking.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, thank you, Julian. I appreciate the budget. Have a
good day, of course, thanks for listening. I think for me,
it's the sixty days. You know, if we're talking about
this after three years, you know, my needs are being mad.
You're not paying attention to me. We're not you know,
our partnership is falling apart. Like okay, okay, Like the
kid's a little bit more independent. It's been years of
this now, you know, he doesn't feel like he's part
(29:23):
of the process. I mean, all of that is fair,
but I mean we are. It is just so new
and we're to your point, we're still physically healing from
what happened. Yeah, Kathy, Hi, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
Hi, good morning, Hey, good morning.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
And just to.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Recap here, this woman Serena coled in. She just had
a baby sixty days ago and her husband's not adjusting well. Essentially,
he's throwing a temper tantrum, saying, hey, you're not paying
enough attention to me. I want the baby out of
the room. I want to be cuddled more, I want
to be held. But whatever he wants, he wants all
the things that baby's getting. But I don't know that
she's necessarily I mean, maybe she's choosing to do this,
but at the same time, I think she kind of
(29:59):
has to, right.
Speaker 10 (30:02):
Yeah, And something similar happened to me.
Speaker 7 (30:04):
I was married, had a baby, so excited the whole
time and everything, but then he got really insecure after
the baby was born, because, yeah, you don't go out
to dinner every night, you know, you don't have all
that free time for yourself. And he ended up, you know,
it drove a wedge between us. He ended up having
an affair, and then when we were splitting up, he
said that it was the lack of attention and more
(30:27):
attention on the baby, and it's just, you know, like hindsight,
it was all just a lot of insecurity, like you're
so jealous of a little baby, like a sweet little baby.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Well, it's all just gaslightly right, because he again, I've
said it fifty times in the last fifteen minutes. What
are you supposed to do, especially in these really early stages,
what are you supposed to do? Just okay, you know what,
baby's crying and needs to eat and it requires me
to do everything, but you no, let me make sure
that I hold you a little longer and it's just
a tough spot to put her in.
Speaker 7 (30:56):
Yeah, I'm sorry. Time to put your big boy pants on,
like you're a now, Like it's time to provide and
you know, intimacy will come later. Right now, it's all
about your baby. You cannot make it about you. And
like I said, just a lot of insecurity.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yeah, yeah, I think so. Thank you, Kathy, and I'm
sure that happened to you, but thanks for sharing.
Speaker 7 (31:13):
It was all for the best.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
There you go, have a good day. Did you have
any final thoughts?
Speaker 5 (31:19):
I do, because people are saying, you know, maybe dad
doesn't feel like he's bonding with baby. I think mom could, okay,
maybe give him, like, hey, do bath dough, thtole things
like that. People have to understand it. Two months postpartum,
you feel like you don't want to be away from
your baby, Like it's I don't know if it's just
like this, I call it a primal feeling, Like I
feel like I just like I had to grab her
all the time, if somebody was holding her, I needed
her back instantly. So like, we have to give grace
(31:40):
to the mom to understand that these are her hormones,
this is how she's feeling.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
What I mean, we're talking about a chemical reaction. We're
talking about human chemical reactity. We're not it's not necessarily
all a choice, correct, so my understanding at least, so Yeah,
This is the Bread Show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let's get you hotep a trip for two to see
Jennifer Lopez her brand new Las Vegas residency. Jennifer Lopez
Up All Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty
twenty six at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace, dext Palace
to three seven three three seven right now for a
chance to win two tickets to the March thirteenth show
at two Night Hotel Day March twelve through the fourteenth
(00:24):
at pe Flamingo Hotel Casino, Las Vegas and Ron Trevert Fair,
A confirmation text will be sent. Dennered message and data
rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are
on stale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows
running December thirtieth through January third, and March sixth through
the twenty eighth.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Fred's show is on Fred's Biggest Stories of.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
The Day Now.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
The gym one is pretty common. So if I go
to someone's work, if if I find out their schedule
and I show up occasionally when they're working because I
want the exposure to them, that's creepy. But I know
a lot of people will try and figure out when
people work out and then they'll show up at the
same time to work out the only thing and apparently
that's not creepy.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
It's the same level of it. Creepy is not the word.
The women like being approached in the gym.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Now, that would be my second thing is how many
you know, how many people man or women are prepared
to be approached at the gym. And a lot of
people don't wear their rings when they're at the gym
because they're working out, so you don't you know, that's
usually my tell, but you don't know. And then it's like,
I'm working out, I haven't showered, I don't look that good. Now,
some people go to the gym to meet someone, but
(01:28):
you don't know the difference the way these.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Gym outfits are set up, the little leggings that you know,
tighten everything on your body and show off every curve. Yeah,
it's like I think some people really go for that reason,
like look.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
At me, Yeah, that's why I know, that's why you go.
Oh yeah, But Kiki wears the boots with the fur
and actually Kiki is one of the few people I
know who works out in denim, which.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
Is make.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
My trainer, Gideon has been asking me about that, like,
how does she how is she able to stay so
fit in full denim? Had to tow It is hilarious.
The flexibility is incredible. It's not a moisture, you know,
Is it a breathable fabric?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't know. I don't think it. No, No, I
don't think so. Headlines.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Guys, the Northeast is under flooding a flooding threat as
storms rolled through. Roughly fifty million people across the Northeast
are dealing with floodwatches with the risk of severe flash
flooding in some areas. Major cities like New York City, Washington,
d C, and Baltimore are facing flash flood warnings. Video
for Manhattan shows floodwaters rushing into a subway station as
passengers boarded the train. NYPD Transportation released the statement on
(02:38):
x saying that flooding would cause delays. Up to five
inches of rain has already fallen in parts of northern
and central New Jersey as well. They were brief groundstops
at New York airports yesterday, So flooding all over the country.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Elmo got hacked on X.
Speaker 6 (02:51):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Now, this is terrible.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
If you saw some of the things Elmo was saying, yeah, Now,
I think I would have pretty quickly realized it wasn't Elmo,
because the Almo I know wouldn't say somebody things. But
Elma was definitely not tickled. Almos's verified ex account, which
has more than six hundred and fifty thousand followers, was
taken over by an unknown hacker on Sunday. In a
short burst of posts, the hijack account shared anti Semitic slurs,
(03:16):
racist language, and strange comments about former president well current
President Donald Trump, and Jeffrey Epstein. This is former president
unless something happen I don't know in the last hour,
all written in Elmo's usual third person style. Well, that
was nice. They were able to adapt it to the
way that Elmo would say it. Elmo is anti Semitic,
Elmo is raising No, he's not, He's terrible. ABC News
(03:40):
in Sesame Street are reporting that this is disgusting and
does not reflect Elmo's values. So they were able to
take the account back and it wasn't really him.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
A lot of officers are doing this.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Starbucks is the latest telling its office workers to spend
more time at their desks or take a buyout, as
the company pushes to revive lacking sales and store it's
in person culture. Starting in October, employees must be in
the office at least four days a week. The CEO
Brian Nicol, who was the former CEO of Chipotle, he
was the guy who was telling everyone to do the
head nod. When you can remember this, it was like
(04:13):
a year ago, maybe it was a little longer than that,
but he'd say, you know, if you want, he's kind
of a good looking guy and he was making videos
and do interviews. He was like, you know, if you
want a little more, a little more salsa, a little
more peico, just you know, just give him a head nod.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
So people were.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Going to Chipotle and be like, I'll take a little
more guacamole, would like the week in the head nods
And that was his advice though, so he says that
you need to come four days a week, or you
can take a voluntary buyout, which includes a cash payout
if you opt to leave. He framed the decision as
an attempt to rebuild Starbucks in person culture, arguing that
(04:47):
face to face collaboration feels creativity and quicker problem solving,
qualities he says are essential as the company sneaks a turnaround.
We do our best work when we're together. Now, this
guy got the ji. I think he makes a hundredllion
dollars a year I saw the other day, so he's
getting paid pretty well.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That's pretty good. And then I remember when he got
the job.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
He lives in California, but the headquarters is in Seattle,
so the company flies him on a jet so that
he can get to work. I don't know if it's
every day or every couple days, but part of his
agreement with the company was, I'll you can open me
a little office in California, so I'm in the office,
and then they fly him on the corporate jet to Seattle. Yeah,
(05:26):
so I don't I don't know how that's gonna work
if he needs people to be in the unless he's
counting his California office the office, I think, you know, collaboratively,
he probably needs to be in the Seattle headquarters. So
I don't know if that means he has to move
now or they're just going to fly him in like
you know, the rest of us drive every day. That's insane,
But I would imagine there's some employees using that as
an argument like, wait a minute, Brian, where's right exctly exactly?
(05:51):
But this is beginning to happen a lot of places, Amazon, JP, Morgan, Chase, Google, Walmart,
They're all rolling back their pandem pandemic era. Flexibility. India's
government is seeking to limit the temperature settings of new
air conditioners to save electricity in the country that is
considered the fastest growing market for them. The Power Minister
(06:11):
proposed to rule in June requiring that air conditioners sold
in the country have thermostats that can be set to
no lower than sixty eight degrees. So here's my question.
I mean, sixty eight that's pretty low. If as low
as it goes, we'll really get that cold, I would wonder.
But then you know, what if I want sixty What
(06:31):
if I want sixty five? What if I'm in a
hotel room. Now look, I realized it's extremely wasteful. But
the first thing that I get it, we're trying to
save the environment here. But the first thing that I
do when I check into the Marriot is go all
the way down as far down as it will go,
all the way down, sixty five, sixty four, whatever it is.
I mean, we're making that thing in ice box. That
is part of the luxury experience is I can turn
(06:54):
that thing all the way down. That little thing will
get so quick, go to Vegas all the way down
that yeah, because it's yes, but sixty eight, I mean
it's sixty eight going to be cold enough.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
My house is at seventy and it's fine all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Seventy Yeah, you sleep with seventy degrees.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Cold and we have the fan on. Yeah, freez there.
I'd rather work, denim, you sleep at seventy degrees. I
just chocked at seventy right now?
Speaker 5 (07:23):
What is yours?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Fred?
Speaker 5 (07:24):
I'm scared as low as it will go, like sixty
five ish.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Well, that's not true because that's actually pretty bad for
the air conditioner. I think I said it's sixty seven. Okay,
it doesn't get that, but it doesn't get that cold
because you know it's so hot outside. They tell you
can get maybe twenty degrees out of your air conditioner
from the outside temperature.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Got it twenty ish.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So if it's ninety and if I can mean so,
if I put it at sixty seven, I know it's
working like that, but I can you know, I can't
get my house to that but it needs to be
cold at not in the sleepy time. It needs to
be cold. There is nothing worse than hot sleeping. I'm sorry,
that is a that would be a relationship ender. You
are trapped if I met someone in there like, oh no,
seventy degrees seventy two absolute.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I'm sorry, nice meeting you. I'm gonna go back to
the gym.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Now and creep on somebody else and find somebody else
that has you know, that's that's a human and that
some form of robot. Because my thing about sleeping is
if it's if it's cold and you're in the bed,
you can warm yourself off. If it's hot, there is
no reprieve, there's no way around it.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
You're supposed to sleep in cold.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
It's better for you.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Thank you. Well, this is and that's why I do it.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
But this is no this is this is not something
I could negotiate on, Like this would be the end
of a relationship for me.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Yeah, and that's a bill that I don't even think
twice about, Like, just throw it an meg. The bill
can be for one hundred thousand dollars. At this point,
I don't care, Like I'm not thinking twice about here,
I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
But for some reason growing up like that was a
thing in the house, like don't touch to.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
A c Like are you right now? Oh, you can't
touch it either.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I have to wait till it's eighty degrees in the
house to turn the air on. And then I text
Mike and I'm like, the dogs are really hot, like
the girls are panting. I think they're really hot. We
should probably turn the air on. So he wants it
even hotter. Well, he's like, I work in the heat
all day, Like why do you guys get to sit
in there?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
My design?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
But once it goes on, it's on, like the whole summer.
It never comes off. So I'll take I'll take seventy.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Mechanic had to go to school upheal both ways in
the snow, yeah, Lord. And mental health experts reveal why
some people cannot help being late to everything Paulina Late.
Experts say it might not be laziness, but a condition
called time blindness, and that's where people genuinely struggle to
(09:36):
estimate or manage time. It's linked to eighty HD and
other conditions like autism, OCD, depression, and anxiety. It's an
executive function issue affecting parts of the brain like prefrontal
cortex and cerebellum. Common signs include underestimating task durations, frequent lateness,
and difficulty switching between activities. How to cope, experts say
(09:59):
use timers, building consistent daily routines, breaking tasks into smaller steps,
and setting external reminders, all methods proven to reduce lateness.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
We were just talking about this this morning.
Speaker 6 (10:12):
You have it.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You have time blindness.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
I do, or I'd like to call it running on
Mexican time, like when you did.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
You know you're going to be an hour late.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
You tell everybody to come at three because the party's
really at four, because you know everyone's going to walk
in at four.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
You have a problem switching between tasks, like you're switching
all the time, except.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You forget to return to the previous task. So there's that.
You know, you you can pivot, but going on.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Things gets done, though, are things I think sumptioning?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Can you hear us today? Yeah, I'm currently no, that's
true us. No, it's true. Yeah, I'm working on me.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
But I I have add I got the whole thing,
I got all those Probably I'm working on me.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
If dinners at seven thirty, we expect to see paulling
it at eight fifteen.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It just is. It just is correct, So so we
don't even.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But the thing is, if I told you was at
eight to fifteen each old but nine, So like the
whole thing about I'd have to tell you is at
five for you.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
To show up at some Oh that's what I meant. Yes,
it has to be the other way.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Yeah, And I think I'm getting a little tiny better
just because every kid. Yeah, a little tiny better because
ever since having a child, I feel like, you know,
we got to get to things, appointments, and I can't
miss though it was like baby stuff. So I'm like,
you know what, I like being on time now it's
my new personality.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
My issue is not that I want to be late
or that I am not considered considerate of other people's time.
My issue is I don't I don't want to be
so early that I feel that I'm wasting time. I
want to arrive when it's time.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
That's how I feel.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I don't like being somewhere ten minutes early and then
just standing around waiting. I feel like and then I
can I can't do anything, Like I'm not being productive.
So I try and do like one more thing, like, oh,
that wall needs to be painted. I got ten minutes
I can, you know, like I try and do one
more thing at home. But the problem is, you know you,
it could take in a big city, it could take
(11:54):
the ten minutes that you that you think it's going
to take to get there, it could take thirty minutes.
And so sometimes I'll just cut, I'll just the difference
and say, Okay, I'm gonna get myself fifteen and then
it still takes thirty, you know what I mean. Like
I never seem to hit it right, but I'm always
about five minutes late. I feel like to like dinners
and things in the evening because I'm trying to get
one more thing done.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Yes, that's like me joining a teams meeting or a
zoom meeting. Like I'm not joining early, bro, I'm not
doing the whole I talk.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
To you for.
Speaker 8 (12:23):
Good.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I'm just gonna give it a couple more minutes to
make sure everybody joins nothing. There's nothing more desperate sounding
than that. Let me just give this a couple more minutes,
hoping people show up. Somebody meaning we're just gonna give
everybody a couple more minutes. Okay, Well I should have
come in. I should have comment seven oh four. Then
if we're gonna give it but a couple more minutes.
But then if I come at seven oh four, we
didn't give everybody a couple more minutes and the meeting
(12:46):
has already started. Now I'm late. You see, this is
the story of my life. This is the press show.
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the twenty eighth.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's stay or go all right, Serena is here. Good morning, Serena, welcome.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
How's it going doing great, Serena? What's going on in Sierrago?
This is I mean, the headline here is that you
just had a baby? What two months ago?
Speaker 8 (13:47):
Yeah, two months ago, a little baby boy?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, congratulations, that's exciting you and your husbands Gina a
little biac. So what well, yeah, we'll no hit and
tell the story, Serena. So you had this baby, which
is wonderful, and your husband he's acting not acting right.
Speaker 8 (14:02):
About this, He's not And listen, you know, just to
be clear, I'm not, you know, considering leaving my husband.
But lately, you know, he told me he doesn't want
the baby sleeping in our room anymore. And you know
that's tough because you know, we had the baby two
months ago and he says that if I cared about
(14:23):
our relationship at all, I'll move the baby into his
own room.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Okay, so you know, and that is I'm sorry to
rupt you, but is it the disruption? Is this sleeping disruption?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
What is his issue? What does he want the baby
in the room?
Speaker 8 (14:37):
No, I you know, I'm not totally sure, Like he
just like gets visibly upset, like I think, you know,
he thinks I'm hogging the baby. And he gets visibly
upset when, you know, when I kiss the baby and
hug the baby, and he says, you never cuddle me
as much as him.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
He's jealous of the baby.
Speaker 8 (14:56):
She's jealous of the baby.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I mean, what does he what does he expect you
to do exactly two months postpartuim is he expect you
to I guess at this point just to banish the child,
but the child in another room, like we didn't do this.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Oh my god, it's all about I.
Speaker 8 (15:11):
Know, I know, I don't know. You know, he's saying
that like ever since I gave birth, all I wanted
to be is a mom and not a wife. And
you know, that's pretty intense. And he also gets upset
because you know, we decided I decided to breastfeed, even
though we had originally talked about not doing it.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
That was an issue for him. That was a really
big issue for him. Affects him.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I'm asking that question, uh, Paulina as a mom, Yeah,
I'm asking that question. Honestly, I don't know the answer.
But how does that negatively affect him.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
It showed in first and foremost mom can make that choice.
So and I congrats on doing that because the full
time job to breastfeed. The only issue quote and I'm
using it this quote, is that he might not be
able to feed the baby at night via bottle or whatever. Right,
because sometimes they say mom wants to rest, how is
dad going to feed the baby? But that you guys
can figure that all out later your baby, or.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's just more time mom has to dedicate to the baby.
As if if there were it was moodel feeding, then
I suppose anybody could feed the baby.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Correct, Okay, right right?
Speaker 8 (16:10):
You know, so it's just like you know, he says,
I treat him like an absentee father because they don't
tell him when the baby's getting a bath or when
you know, when he's going down for a nap, Like
I make the decisions myself. But obviously I'm you know,
I'm not doing that on the purpose.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And I have a feeling that someone texted this. But
this has something to do with intimacy as well, which
you're two months postpartum, so I mean, aren't we a
little again. I'm not going to get too detailed about that.
But don't we wait a little longer than that anyway,
isn't it? Is it sixty days? Well, typically six weeks
you have a good checkop. You go to a checkop,
but they.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Kind of clear you or what depending, you know, if
you have c section, if you have the vaginal birth.
But in two months you can still be in diapers.
So I don't understand what his way is.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
So we're not even really there yet, not there yet
necessarily not yeah.
Speaker 8 (16:55):
Yeah, so you know, and obviously we're both just exhausted
and I'm really trying my best. And I just never
imagined in a million years he'd react like this.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I don't mean to be insensitive, Serena, but what did
he think was going to happen? I mean, you and
I realized it's an adjustment, but he's you know, you guys,
I assume discussed having children and you and you and
you conceived one, and for the last nine months you've
been you know, pregnant, you know, baking this this this
little guy, and now maybe so I would think that
(17:26):
the transition would be sort of happening, right, like, Okay,
we're adding to the family. There's going to be a
new obligation here. There's going to be someone something dividing
our attention a little bit. We have another But I
guess I don't understand why he's surprised that you have
to raise the kid and that you can't just put
the kid in another room and pay attention to me
all the time.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Like it's it's very much me behavior. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 8 (17:51):
And you know, like you said, it's not like we
just decided to do this overnight. You know, this was
a discussion. This was many months of talking about it,
and obviously the baby needs more right now at this stage,
and like it's just temporary. It goes by so quickly,
and I just she just can't see that. And I
think he's taking it really personally, and I did not
(18:14):
expect to set off from him, and I just I
just don't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I'm sorry to be negative, but this is him making
this about him. He's not being considerate of you. He's
not being considerate of what you're going through. He's not
being considerate of what the child needs.
Speaker 7 (18:27):
It.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Clearly isn't ready to make the adjustment that he's going
to have to share your attention now with another human.
He's acting like this is a surprise, like he wasn't
involved in the process of making the kid through postpartum.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I don't know the answer.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Either, but I mean I get that someone just said
mental health as well as a new debt. I don't
know if that means that a man's mental health is wild.
Like this is a transition for sure, But making her
feel bad about tending to the child, I think is
really the wrong way to go.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
I agree. I mean, listen, everyone's world is upside down
right now, right especially you as a brand new mom.
Just everything you're going through. I mean, you are in
the thick of it, and I feel like if anything
the husband has to your husband has to be so
supportive of anything that you need in that moment. And
because he's not, he's focused on his I don't even
know what he's focused on. If he just wants you,
you know, intimately, or whatever like that that needs to
(19:21):
be put to the side. I'm sorry you guys. Well,
once again, have all the amazing sex and all the
amazing times together and dance and all of that, but
right now I think like your focus should be truly
both on the baby.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Get two months out, honestly, and and not that his
needs don't matter. I don't mean to just dump on
this guy, but two months after having a baby, he
needs to be focused on what's best for you and
the baby and and his needs can be met down
the road.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
And yeah, and I don't.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I don't think his needs are gonna any closer to
being met when he's just acting like the baby. Yeah,
these are not This is not a good sign for me.
And again I don't have any experience in any of this,
but it just doesn't feel right to me, and the
text are overwhelmingly in favor of this is really bad.
And I'm sorry to say that to you because I
know you just had a baby with this guy, but
(20:07):
this is really not the kind of supportive, you know,
selfless behavior that you would hope from someone after what
you just went through. But let me take some phone
calls on this and see if you and by the way,
you're welcome to feel differently about it, and maybe you
can enlighten us in some ways, because the men in
the room here have never had a baby, so I
don't I admittedly do not know. To me, though, my
(20:30):
thought is it feels bad.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yeah, I feel so. I feel so bad. For you, Mama.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 8 (20:34):
Yeah, and you know again, I'm not like thinking about
leaving him, but just like I just feel like this
confirms everything that I've sort of been thinking, and you know,
I don't want to lose myself or my marriage. You know.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Well, good luck to you and let's see what some
people have to stay here. And I appreciate you sharing
and all the best. Have a great day. Thanks you too,
Vice serena maternal mental health professional. Men go through postpartum
mood changes and postpartum depression. It's a maternal mental I'm
a maternal mental health professional.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Okay, so that may be what he's experiencing, but.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
It doesn't necessarily change the negative effect it's having on
her and the pressure it's adding to what has to
be done. It's not a choice to care for the baby, correct,
And you know, it's not like she can just go
I'll do a little less of that.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Hey, Julie, good morning, Good morning. How are hi, Julie.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
So you just heard this this situation, but this woman
is is experiencing sort of a negative reaction from her
husband that all of a sudden there's this new being
that she's having to devote so much attention to what
do you think when you hear it, tell the story.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
It's a reminiscent. We have three kids, and they do
get jealous, and that's the bottom line. And he's going
to have to figure out. She's gonna have to talk
to somebody and deal with his emotions because this is
a newborn. They they need the parents. There's no one
taking care of the baby. And he's just going to
(22:05):
have to step up a little bit and do what's
best for the family right now. Now, I'm not saying
that marriage doesn't come first, but you know, dude needs
to wait four months.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 9 (22:17):
With that extra special attention that he really is craving,
that's all.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
It's funny you mentioned that, Julie, because a lot, a lot,
a lot, a lot of years ago. I think it
had to do with him a politician cheating on his
wife or something, and someone brought this up. This was
a long time ago I heard of this, and that
the person hosting the debate was saying, you know, people
say when it comes to marriage, they most people will
answer the question when asked, you know, what's the most
important part of your family, They'll say, well, the kids,
(22:43):
my kids are the most important thing to me, and
because that sounds right, but or it sounds harsh to
say that my spouse is the most important thing. But
the fact of the matter is this person was arguing
that's the right answer, my spouse is the most important
thing in the relationship. Because if that's not solid, then Mike,
kids who come to at a close second will not
necessarily have a good upbringing. Mike, I would think the
(23:05):
asterisk to that would be when the kid is literally
an infant and the mom is literally post part part
of I mean, it's like, you can wait, you can
wait sixty ninety days for us to get this together.
This this baby relies on me for absolutely everything. It's
not a choice, it's not a preference. It is a mandate, right,
(23:25):
Like if we don't do it, it's not happening. Correct,
So your husband can be the most important thing to
you once we get this baby, like you know, with
a with a hard head, once it's once its skull
forms fully Yes, right, I guess that's where I'm at
(23:46):
with this. But Julie, thank you for calling.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
It's like, guys, you know, this isn't a this isn't
a ten year old, you know, It's like I'd rather
drive the kid to practice and have sex with you.
Like that's that that would indicate something I think a
lot deeper. This is, Hey, I'm going through all this
stuff emotionally and physically and and and figuring figuring out
how to raise a human and you're worried about whether
you're getting cuddled enough.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
It takes two years for a mom to really get
back to her quote normal self. I'm gonna say that,
so I'm not even there yet myself. So I can't
even imagine how she feels.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Again, I don't mean to be like anti male here.
I just I think a lot of guys listening now
would have who have been through this. I gotta think
they're thinking, like, dude, it's not about you right now,
Like it's it can't be about you right now.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Emily, Hi, Hi, Hi? What do you think?
Speaker 7 (24:36):
So?
Speaker 10 (24:36):
I have two babies. I had two babies under and
under two years, and I think I've breastpaid both of them.
And the breasting issue is the thing that really sticks
out to me is like sticky in the situation. I
really don't understand what his problem with her breastfeeding. Is
what I love to say though, is while I think
(24:59):
this this is like a weird situation and he's definitely
putting a lot of unnecessary anxiety on a new mom,
I am sympathetic to the fact that, like, having a
baby is an adjustment for both partners, and there is
definitely a point where you want to kick the baby
out of your room because you're ready to have some
space back. But two months plus part him is not
(25:22):
that time. Maybe four to six months is a more
of all time.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I think That's what I'm saying is right now would
not be the time to put pressure. I don't think
on the relationship to make it about you, because I
just feel like there's so much adjustment going on, and
I don't think it's necessarily personal. I don't think, but
but I think I think that one way it could
create a tremendous amount of divide is by behaving this
way right now, right right.
Speaker 10 (25:48):
And I think that a lot of time, well more
often than not, we are very focused in that nine
months of growing a baby on the needs that the
baby will have, But there's not a lot of suff
court about like what a new mom needs, especially a
breastfeeding mom or women with their hormones and postpart of
issues and how to be like partners in that situation.
(26:11):
And so I do think there's ways to move past it.
Like when I was pregnant with our second baby, our
first daby was had just turned one, and we decided
to do some couple counseling courses that are about like
bringing home baby that like focus less on the like
how to feed and diaper and take care of your baby,
and more on like how to be partners in.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That's interesting, that's a good idea.
Speaker 10 (26:37):
Yeah, there's one specifically by the Gotman. They're like pretty
famous couple counselors and it's called Bringing Home Baby. So, like,
I do think there's ways to work past it. But
he has to be willing to like listen and hear her.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
He needs good points. Good points, Emily, thank you for calling,
Thanks for listening. Have a good day.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, you too, appreciate you. You, Julian, were not considering
his feelings, really.
Speaker 6 (27:04):
Not, because Y're focusing more on him. I want to
be intimate with him.
Speaker 11 (27:10):
I had a baby too, and the father of my
daughter was really involved with the child.
Speaker 6 (27:15):
I tell him when.
Speaker 11 (27:16):
I'm going to feed the baby, I tell him when
the baby's going to sleep, and everything else in between.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
It's the commedy.
Speaker 11 (27:22):
I believe her issue is of no one had to
communicate with the father, of putting him involved actually in
the baby's child. And when I had my first baby,
I was very insecure because I will call her father
through the trauma that I've been with all the time.
But I don't understand when you said that it's an
(27:42):
intimate issue and everything. But she did mention of him
feeling absent in the child's life.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You know that's fair, that's fair much.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Maybe and someone touched right, Julian, I'm so sorry. Someone
texted maybe maybe he hasn't bonded with the child yet.
I think for me it was the kind of about
you don't cuddle me, You've never cuddled me as much
as you've cuddled him.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
My daughter will feel like that. But at the same time,
I had my daughter in certain place.
Speaker 11 (28:16):
In a toy band.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
I apologize, my English is my second language.
Speaker 11 (28:21):
My daughter in a in a play band by the
by the bed, so he wasn't she wasn't in the
bed with us. So maybe other.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
Than putting the child in it on his own room.
Speaker 11 (28:35):
Maybe you know, put a little band or something next
to next to her.
Speaker 6 (28:40):
Or something in the womb and that and whatnot.
Speaker 11 (28:43):
But at the same time, she they just have the
baby within two much so maybe he will probably do some.
Speaker 6 (28:49):
Research and see a way to make her feel better
with him being in the in the intimacy as well,
because at the time is not really sex really all
that they're sitting together and talking.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, thank you, Julian. I appreciate the budget. Have a
good day, of course, thanks for listening. I think for me,
it's the sixty days. You know, if we're talking about
this after three years, you know, my needs are being mad.
You're not paying attention to me. We're not you know,
our partnership is falling apart. Like okay, okay, Like the
kid's a little bit more independent. It's been years of
this now, you know, he doesn't feel like he's part
(29:23):
of the process. I mean, all of that is fair,
but I mean we are. It is just so new
and we're to your point, we're still physically healing from
what happened. Yeah, Kathy, Hi, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
Hi, good morning, Hey, good morning.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
And just to.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Recap here, this woman Serena coled in. She just had
a baby sixty days ago and her husband's not adjusting well. Essentially,
he's throwing a temper tantrum, saying, hey, you're not paying
enough attention to me. I want the baby out of
the room. I want to be cuddled more, I want
to be held. But whatever he wants, he wants all
the things that baby's getting. But I don't know that
she's necessarily I mean, maybe she's choosing to do this,
but at the same time, I think she kind of
(29:59):
has to, right.
Speaker 10 (30:02):
Yeah, And something similar happened to me.
Speaker 7 (30:04):
I was married, had a baby, so excited the whole
time and everything, but then he got really insecure after
the baby was born, because, yeah, you don't go out
to dinner every night, you know, you don't have all
that free time for yourself. And he ended up, you know,
it drove a wedge between us. He ended up having
an affair, and then when we were splitting up, he
said that it was the lack of attention and more
(30:27):
attention on the baby, and it's just, you know, like hindsight,
it was all just a lot of insecurity, like you're
so jealous of a little baby, like a sweet little baby.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Well, it's all just gaslightly right, because he again, I've
said it fifty times in the last fifteen minutes. What
are you supposed to do, especially in these really early stages,
what are you supposed to do? Just okay, you know what,
baby's crying and needs to eat and it requires me
to do everything, but you no, let me make sure
that I hold you a little longer and it's just
a tough spot to put her in.
Speaker 7 (30:56):
Yeah, I'm sorry. Time to put your big boy pants on,
like you're a now, Like it's time to provide and
you know, intimacy will come later. Right now, it's all
about your baby. You cannot make it about you. And
like I said, just a lot of insecurity.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yeah, yeah, I think so. Thank you, Kathy, and I'm
sure that happened to you, but thanks for sharing.
Speaker 7 (31:13):
It was all for the best.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
There you go, have a good day. Did you have
any final thoughts?
Speaker 5 (31:19):
I do, because people are saying, you know, maybe dad
doesn't feel like he's bonding with baby. I think mom could, okay,
maybe give him, like, hey, do bath dough, thtole things
like that. People have to understand it. Two months postpartum,
you feel like you don't want to be away from
your baby, Like it's I don't know if it's just
like this, I call it a primal feeling, Like I
feel like I just like I had to grab her
all the time, if somebody was holding her, I needed
her back instantly. So like, we have to give grace
(31:40):
to the mom to understand that these are her hormones,
this is how she's feeling.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
What I mean, we're talking about a chemical reaction. We're
talking about human chemical reactity. We're not it's not necessarily
all a choice, correct, so my understanding at least, so Yeah,
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