September 10, 2022 • 3 mins
You get upset with people as if life has a script and they need to play along. There is no script. And nobody is under contract to act according to you. When I get upset with someone, this is the 3-minute episode I bring to mind to calm down.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Podcast listeners, I have some exciting news!
My new book was just released and I will be on a book tour starting September 2022,
first across the US, then Australia, and maybe the UK and Canada after that.
The book is called The Opposite of Namaste,
and it is available wherever books and ebooks are sold. It is a curated collection of these
(00:21):
podcast episodes in one spot and in a similar format to Buddhist Boot Camp,
where each chapter is only a couple of pages long, and you can read them in any order.
The book tour details will be updated regularly on BuddhistBootCamp.com,
so check it frequently, and we'll meet each other soon.
I'm not sure I will have the space to record new episodes as frequently
(00:42):
once I am on the road, but I will continue sending you food for thought by email
on the first day of each month, so be sure to subscribe at BuddhistBootCamp.com/email
This intro will be removed from the podcast episodes once I return.
Enjoy the new book, and I will see you soon.
(01:06):
Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast.
Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.
Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.
(01:27):
When a movie is filmed, each scene is scripted and all the actors have memorized their lines
to play a role that was written for them.
If things don't go according to plan, the director yells, "Cut!"
and everyone returns to their places to try again until the director is happy.
This is true of movies and television shows, but in real life,
(01:49):
you are not a director, and there is no script.
Nobody is under contract to play any role according to how you think they should.
Not your parents, not your children, not your friends, not strangers, not world leaders
or business owners, or anyone else.
When I think about it, I realize every time I've been frustrated in life, it has always been
(02:12):
because I thought of myself as the director, and all of my resentments stemmed from
getting upset with people for going off script or not playing their role according to me.
Conversely, when I reflect on all the joyous moments in my life,
they weren't when everything went according to plan, as one would think,
the highlight reel of my life is surprisingly filled with all the times
(02:35):
I wasn't sitting in the director's chair.
When we make peace with the fact that
a script doesn't exist anywhere but in our own minds, we realize that
nothing and nobody could ever be off script.
People are just being people. All we need to do is retire the director within us,
and not only would we be happier, but so would all the people we've been
(02:58):
trying to manipulate, shame, and guilt into playing a role.
Life is a "Choose-Your-Own -Adventure" for EVERYBODY.
This means there will inevitably be villains and heroes, highs and lows,
love and deception, thrills and disappointments, and you won't
enjoy every single moment, but on the whole,
(03:18):
life will be a lot more peaceful when you stop trying to control it.
It was never your job to be the director.
You just showed up on the movie set one day and started telling people what to do
and how to do it. And you even got upset with them when they didn't listen.
So, when you catch yourself acting like a D...
(03:39):
A director, what did you think I meant?
When you catch yourself acting like a director, just quit, mid-sentence if you have to,
and simply resume the role of Best Supporting Actor.
How others play their role is none of your business. You can't yell, "Cut" when someone
goes rogue, but you can quit the director role.
Remember, there is no script. When plans or relationships seem like they are falling apart
(04:04):
they are often falling into place.
All we need to do is let them.
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Buddhist Boot Camp, Faithfully Religionless,
and The Opposite of Namaste.
For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,
where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,
(04:25):
watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.
We hope you have enjoyed this episode,
and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions.
Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love.
Podcast listeners, I have some exciting news!
My new book was just released and I will be on a book tour starting September 2022,
first across the US, then Australia, and maybe the UK and Canada after that.
The book is called The Opposite of Namaste,
and it is available wherever books and ebooks are sold. It is a curated collection of these
(00:21):
podcast episodes in one spot and in a similar format to Buddhist Boot Camp,
where each chapter is only a couple of pages long, and you can read them in any order.
The book tour details will be updated regularly on BuddhistBootCamp.com,
so check it frequently, and we'll meet each other soon.
I'm not sure I will have the space to record new episodes as frequently
(00:42):
once I am on the road, but I will continue sending you food for thought by email
on the first day of each month, so be sure to subscribe at BuddhistBootCamp.com/email
This intro will be removed from the podcast episodes once I return.
Enjoy the new book, and I will see you soon.
(01:06):
Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast.
Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.
Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.
(01:27):
When a movie is filmed, each scene is scripted and all the actors have memorized their lines
to play a role that was written for them.
If things don't go according to plan, the director yells, "Cut!"
and everyone returns to their places to try again until the director is happy.
This is true of movies and television shows, but in real life,
(01:49):
you are not a director, and there is no script.
Nobody is under contract to play any role according to how you think they should.
Not your parents, not your children, not your friends, not strangers, not world leaders
or business owners, or anyone else.
When I think about it, I realize every time I've been frustrated in life, it has always been
(02:12):
because I thought of myself as the director, and all of my resentments stemmed from
getting upset with people for going off script or not playing their role according to me.
Conversely, when I reflect on all the joyous moments in my life,
they weren't when everything went according to plan, as one would think,
the highlight reel of my life is surprisingly filled with all the times
(02:35):
I wasn't sitting in the director's chair.
When we make peace with the fact that
a script doesn't exist anywhere but in our own minds, we realize that
nothing and nobody could ever be off script.
People are just being people. All we need to do is retire the director within us,
and not only would we be happier, but so would all the people we've been
(02:58):
trying to manipulate, shame, and guilt into playing a role.
Life is a "Choose-Your-Own -Adventure" for EVERYBODY.
This means there will inevitably be villains and heroes, highs and lows,
love and deception, thrills and disappointments, and you won't
enjoy every single moment, but on the whole,
(03:18):
life will be a lot more peaceful when you stop trying to control it.
It was never your job to be the director.
You just showed up on the movie set one day and started telling people what to do
and how to do it. And you even got upset with them when they didn't listen.
So, when you catch yourself acting like a D...
(03:39):
A director, what did you think I meant?
When you catch yourself acting like a director, just quit, mid-sentence if you have to,
and simply resume the role of Best Supporting Actor.
How others play their role is none of your business. You can't yell, "Cut" when someone
goes rogue, but you can quit the director role.
Remember, there is no script. When plans or relationships seem like they are falling apart
(04:04):
they are often falling into place.
All we need to do is let them.
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Buddhist Boot Camp, Faithfully Religionless,
and The Opposite of Namaste.
For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,
where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,
(04:25):
watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.
We hope you have enjoyed this episode,
and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions.
Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love.
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