The hardest talk a family can never have.

Episode # 93

There comes a time in caregivers journey that they know time
is very close to running out. We hear caregiving for dementia have realized
that fact.

The past five days Mama has not eat anything at all, the past
four days Mama has not drank anything, and for the past three days Mama’s been
very hard to wake up at all. When she is awake it’s about two minutes and she’s
right back out.

Mamas, breathing has also changed its no longer normal
breathing. Doesn’t look the same, doesn’t sound the same as the normal
breathing does Mama breeze through her mouth now and has for the past three
days. And also she’s breathing through her mouth it’s not as loud as you would
think it should be.

If you listen to me anytime at all you know that we keep my
older brother and his wife informed as to what mamas doing anytime something
changes with Mama last night we had the hardest conversation the family can
have. We talked about what to do when this journey is over. What to expect and
what not to expect from Mama. From the people that we need to talk to when it’s
done. What we want and what we don’t want as for his funeral arrangements.

I guess I’m kind of lucky in this respect because my older
brothers always told me that he married mom, meaning that his wife and mom
think an awful lot alike and I know from my own standpoint I’ve had
conversations with mom and turned around had same conversation with his wife
and dam near had the same conversation and there was no way, absolutely no way
that mom and his wife had talked.

So now I find myself trying to come to grips with the fact of
not having mom in the living room. Mama not be in there when I come home from
the store. Not knowing exactly how to fill. All kind of emotions are floating
through my head, my heart, and I’m sure that the same kind of things are going
on with Stephanie and Michael I’m sure they have all kind of feelings running
through their brains as well. Feeling helpless is probably my number one
feeling right now. Not being able to help mom do anything at all.

 Everything is changing
so rapidly this week, although mom is still with us for now we are getting
prepared for Mama’s last trip to West Virginia.

 I’m not sure if there
will be in episode next couple weeks I’ll have to play that by ear.