DDR 057 - Kelley Lovelace and Rick Getting Funky - Don't Die Rusty Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Well, hello, don't die rusty nation.
Holy moly.
It's going to be a wonderful night here tonight.
Cause I have, this is Rick Hansen of course.
And I have Kelly Lovelace, like one of the, one of the members of the Rick tastics, youknow, and I thought, you know what I want to do a podcast episode just with Kelly.

(00:24):
I'm being selfish here, but, and it's interesting, Kelly.
you are a very requested guy to have on.
I've got texts and, and that said, let's have a little more Kelly.
I'm feeling luckily I don't have an ego.
So I understand why they would want to hear you and not me or anybody else for thatmatter.

(00:50):
know,
don't understand that little, you can get way too much of Kelly and get sick of it, butyou know, whatever it is, we'll just keep going with it.
Well, it is wonderful to, you know, it is truly wonderful to have a guest that everybodyseems to connect with.
And you have such words of wisdom that strike me and others.

(01:16):
I, you know, sometimes you wonder if it hits others with what we do here.
And it does.
I sent you those texts from people.
So I'm not lying.
Am I?
You're a pastor and you're, I'm not, I'm not lying.
We talked about the 10 commandments in the rictastic episode there.

(01:37):
But you know what?
Last week, I want to tell the listeners last week, I text you and I said, Hey, let's do anepisode.
just want to do an episode with you.
And then we talked on the phone and I.
We kind of, said, you know, let's talk about this and that.
And then we decided to do, cause I did the one episode of getting the funk out.

(02:02):
And then we, if we thought, you know what, let's do that together.
Let's, let's get the funk out.
Yeah.
Let's get it out.
Just get all the funk out the funky.
yes, you know, so, but it's been one of those winters.

(02:22):
I don't know about up there, but here has been one of those winters that, excuse me, it'sbeen one of those winters that has just struck on and on for some reason.
And I have no reason why, because.
Usually I try to have a good attitude most of the time.

(02:43):
And I do put that, you know, we all talk about how bad things happen to people and theyalways sound, they always were upbeat and they're always this and that.
And then they either do something stupid or they, and I'm talking about suicide orsomething like that.
You you see people like that.

(03:06):
And
or something else happens and I'm not that person, I'll tell you that, because I try toget the positive out every day.
But I was feeling lethargic, I was feeling not Rick, I was feeling drug down mentally andphysically.

(03:26):
It was just not me.
You know when you can reach into yourself and you say, look at yourself and you can say,
What is going on with you?
So I've had a physical and I'm in the good ranges of most everything.
I'm going to actually go see a functional doctor just to see about some other stuff about,I think you need to get to the root of problem sometimes.

(03:57):
don't think, we all treat the symptoms and.
And I don't want, and we can get into, mean, this is going to be far ranging because it'syou and I, but I don't want to just treat the symptoms.
I'm going to treat the root of things.
And that's where we're going to get with some of this funky stuff.
Cause it's, amazing when you do a episode and then, and then you start realizing how toget your funk out and you know where you are.

(04:23):
And I, then the best news of the world, not really the best news of the world, but.
I went into the eye doctor last Friday and I'm going to be 57 here in March 22nd.
And I have better than 2020 vision.
That's pretty sweet.

(04:44):
So hopefully I have something that walks in front of me and I know I can see it.
Yes.
Hopefully.
And I'm talking in the fall.
But anyway, here's where I want to go with this stuff.
And, and we will go in so many different directions.
know, but I'm reading a book now it's called, and you'll laugh at who wrote this book, butit's actually Rick Hansen.

(05:12):
He has a PhD and it's called Hardwired Happiness.
And what he was talking about.
I'm going to go more into the mental aspect right at the moment.
What he was talking about is we as humans naturally go to the negative side of everything.

(05:36):
And it takes a lot of conditioning to see the good stuff, the positive stuff.
Because he mentioned like,
Superman, said we could put this in superhero sense Superman could do something reallyreally bad

(05:59):
And people would remember it forever.
And we'll just take the Joker.
I was just thinking of a villain, the villain, the Joker could do something really,really, really good.
And nobody would remember that because he was always the villain.
But they'll always remember the good guy doing the bad thing, but not the bad guy doingthe good thing.

(06:20):
And I was thinking about that.
And you know, that's, that's kind of where we are as humans too, most of the time, cause
we go to the dark side of things more than we go to the good side of things unless we, Imean, with you here, I mean, this is what we can talk about too, but I was talking to

(06:41):
somebody about horror movies or something and I don't watch them, but I said the mosthorror, the scariest movie to me, actually it was Cindy's Daughter, I said the scariest
movie to me ever that I ever watched was The Omens.
And you know why?
It was scary, but you know what?
I wasn't so scared because I knew I believed.

(07:03):
All right.
So you can go under this, you can go wherever you want to with this, but then I startedlooking within myself and I started realizing that I was comparing myself to the 20 year,

(07:24):
like the 25, 30 year old Rick.
And what I'm saying is we talked about this earlier is like,
I'm getting older and I don't realize that I can still do things.
just am not the 25, 30 year old Rick body wise in the aspect to, you know, I just am notthat person anymore.

(07:50):
And I think that was getting me down.
I wasn't getting my mental break of climbing a mountain because of the snow and the coldand
just being lazy probably, and I've started doing that.
Climb Bear Butte on Saturday morning and what a wonderful morning it was.

(08:12):
The views were amazing.
And you just have to realize, because I had just had a, I just had a episode with LindsayMcElroy, Lindsay McElroy, Lindsay Ulrich, and,
She had a stroke and the doctors told her she would never run again and now she's, I mean,and she loved running and she's an ultra marathoner.

(08:45):
And where I'm going with this is when you start realizing what you love and that you havea passion for or you can do these things by getting into these funky things.
You're bringing only yourself down and maybe some of the people around you.
And I think also you being in your position, I think I wasn't, I didn't feel like I washelping people.

(09:11):
And I think that fills your soul too.
I think that when we're in these moments and I have them like it my wife makes fun of mebecause usually it's like the end of January until March Madness starts you know I'm kind

(09:32):
of in a in a little bit of a funk myself and it's every year I guess it's because all thehunting's done by the end of January and
Now what do we do?
It's the cold months.
You're not wanting to be outside in negative 40 degree weather.
You're tired of moving snow.

(09:53):
This year for us, it hasn't been that bad and we've had some nice days.
So this is one of my, I guess, better periods of time.
My oldest, my youngest son is his senior in high school and he's finished up basketball.
So that gets us out of the house a little bit more.

(10:13):
I about three weeks ago started working out again, which was, don't know if that wassmart.
My body's telling me it's not, but my brain's telling me it is one of those things, youAnd so I just feel like that's probably helped me as I'm dealing with my own funk.
But I do believe it's a mental state that we can find ourselves in if we're not carefulabout it, you know?

(10:36):
And looking at the bigger picture instead of the whole homes, like we get down into the.
Another day of this, this is awful.
And there's just, there truly is something about sunlight and being out in the sun versusthis cloudy, wintery, blustery mess that we find ourselves in.

(10:57):
And it just kind of, after a while it does, does wear on you.
Connection I think is important for us and I don't know about you Rick, but if I'm notcareful when I get into my funk, I start to separate myself, start to kind of step back

(11:18):
away from people.
And that's not my norm because I am a person who likes to be around others and spend timewith them and get to know them and hang out and talk.
I kind of.
feed off of that energy that what's that's kind of what makes me an extrovert is that I'mfeeding off the energy of others around me.
And when I isolate myself, that's outside of my norm.

(11:42):
And so it drains me and it makes it worse.
So once I start to understand those things about myself, then I can begin to change that.
And it helps a lot.
And then just my outlook and attitude on life as a believer, my hopes not wrapped up in myjob.
My hopes not wrapped up in my bank account.

(12:02):
I've got hope in Jesus and He's the one who tells me that, man, I've got you.
I got your back.
You're good.
Just keep doing what you're doing.
And so that does, those kinds of things do help as we're dealing with the funkiness ofthis time of year.
Yeah, you know, and it's crazy because I was really...

(12:29):
I don't know if it even started, I think it probably started before, like we talkedearlier, I think it started before we went to Alaska for Christmas, but where I'm going
with this is.
I finally started looking at stuff and you were talking about believing and you know what?
You know what it makes me feel good is to know that I've realized, when you realize thatyou have that hope and belief behind you, I shouldn't say behind you, but beside you,

(13:02):
around you, surrounding you, that starts picking you up a little bit.
I'm going to say that,
I learned, this is funny, like I told Cindy on Monday, I think it was Monday, it had to beMonday, I was out for my morning walk and I started running and Rick hasn't ran like that

(13:29):
for a bit.
And I said, know, cause I'm not gonna be that, I used to be fast when I was young and nowI'm not so young anymore, but it felt good.
good to like exert myself a little more than I normally would and not hurt.

(13:50):
And then I came back and I think confidence starts coming, feeling, I think for me it wasI started losing a little confidence in myself.
That's why I was also getting into a funk.
Like am I saying the right things?
Am I doing the right things?
You start.
I was even questioning the podcast in itself because am I, is this worth what I want?

(14:19):
Is it worth it to do this stuff?
Because everybody can listen.
We don't have any advertisers.
I would love some, but we don't have any advertisers.
And it's work to do actually, but I enjoy this stuff so much.
then as I questioned myself,
I have three wonderful conversations and then I know why I do this.

(14:42):
And it picked me up.
And know, and then, you know, it's one of those things, Ricky's busy at the moment andit's like you do things by yourself and you don't have anybody to kind of put you in a
place, you know what I mean?
It kind of keep you motivated and...

(15:07):
he's doing like, he puts out the thumb drive and thumbnail and he puts it on Lipsyn and soeverybody can listen to it and he does other things.
But it's just one of those things I was like, sometimes you feel alone and you'rewondering like, you know what, who cares?
If I stop this stuff and then it doesn't really matter.

(15:32):
But then I thought it does matter.
Cause then you get the
I get the text that I send you.
Isn't it funny how God knows in.
Yeah.
like, needed that today.
Yeah, I get, I get the text that about you and about how you've affected people.

(15:54):
And I'm going, Holy moly.
I'm not going to quit.
And don't worry about that.
I mean, to the regular listeners, don't worry.
I'm not going to quit.
But it was just one of those, you get in those down moments and you just questioned if Ididn't do this, I could do other things.
So I'm going to get to a.
I'll let you talk a little second and then I got something to say about that.

(16:18):
Okay, I think we all get into that spot where we're like, is this is what I'm doing worthit, right?
And so if we were to take it to like, what what we love to do, like we love to bow hunt.
And so if it's all about just shooting that big buck every year, and that's my focus andmy goal, what happens if that doesn't happen?

(16:45):
Right?
Hmm.
It's hunting, it's not getting, it's not shopping.
We're out in this animal's environment.
Those animals live there all year round.
We just happen to be a visitor for the short time we get to be there.
And so if my only goal is to come home with this animal that I'm after, what happens whenI fail?

(17:09):
So if I can apply that to my life, I'm not just chasing this thing that's
kind of ethereal or it's a hit or miss.
I've got a purpose.
God's using me.
I know he's got a plan for my life and this is part of it.
And so that's pretty cool because I get to speak to people that I probably never, I don'tknow if I'll ever meet them, but I get to share with them kind of some life stuff that

(17:38):
God's shown me.
And none of what I've talked about really has anything to do with
I didn't come up with that on my own.
People either spoke that wisdom into my life or God showed that to me or I learned thatsomewhere.
And I feel like it's important to pass those things on.
One of the things that we do talk about is the next generation.

(18:02):
So if we don't teach them, if we don't talk about these things, where will they learn it?
And what are they going to learn if we're not teaching what we believe to be right?
And I think that's a
big issue in our culture today, to be honest.
Like we need to be the ones who know where we're going and why we're going.

(18:23):
That's also a valuable lesson.
The what is never more important than the why.
So we need to have the why all lined out so that we know exactly what it is we're going todo.
So why I'm doing it is way more important than what I'm doing.
And so if we can focus in on those things.
and allow this other stuff to just kind of fade into the static and focus.

(18:47):
It changes everything for us.
It gets us going.
It pushes us.
There you go.
So that's where I'm at.
Wait, you know what?
You've said a lot in such a short amount of time.
That's what you always do though.
It's interesting for one thing because I was gonna say when I was in my deepest darkestplaces, and I'm not saying they were deepest darkest, when I end this funk this year, I

(19:20):
remember our little chat.
one afternoon and That surrounded me and it's funny how little things Can pull things outof you and you say you know what?
You what you told me it's going to take time At that time and now I know it's going totake time with this thing if you wanted to succeed you keep pushing forward and you keep

(19:45):
doing things and You don't give up and it's in God's time
The other thing you said was find your why, which is very interesting because we have anepisode coming up with a lady that we, had a couple health issues and we were going to
talk about that and we never got to it because we were talking about finding our why.

(20:11):
And that's interesting in itself too.
And since we're talking about finding your why, I don't, do you follow Simon Sinek?
I don't, I've seen some of his stuff, but I don't follow him.
Well, the other day he put out this post and it was with this lady and I cannot think ofher name off the top of my head, but they're talking about why do you want to live to 117?

(20:35):
Why do people want to live so long?
And it was a good little snippet and I'll, I put it in my story.
I'll probably do it again someday because I really, it really affected me in some aspectsbecause it said we can take all the supplements we want.
can.
do everything we can to live a long life, but is it to scroll?

(20:55):
And on our phone, what time, more or less it said, what time are we wasting now that wewanna live so long?
Like we need to start filling up that time that we are wasting with good things and then.

(21:19):
If we do live to 104, 117, we think of all that time we have utilized instead of wasting.
And I just said scrolling, but I mean, there's other things that you can do.
can sit there and watch TV.
can do nothing, you know, anything like that.
I'm not saying, but we aren't doing things to fill our soul.

(21:42):
We're doing things to fill that time gap.
Not.
We want to be entertained.
We don't want to be bored.
We don't want it.
Like we don't like boredom.
We got to have something that.
It's filler, it's static.
It's exactly what it is.
And it is, and it's funny because I, did we talk about this?

(22:02):
I don't know if we did, but, I read an article is the downfall of society is in this dayand age is because we are not bored anymore.
And because we're not bored, we're not thinking of other things to do and how to fixthings or how to create things or we're being entertained by.

(22:26):
a meme that I just talked about, but it's one of those things.
But I'm saying we aren't trying to better ourselves, we're trying to just take up time.
So are we taking up time?
we could do another 24 hours to live, but are we taking up our time wisely or are we justpining away to die?

(22:51):
I mean, really, I don't see any other, I don't see any things that, for me, when I sawthat, which affected me, was, and we were talking about, and we're still talking about the
funk, when I realized that I was wasting time doing things that didn't improve me or myrelationship or help me,

(23:19):
become a better person.
I mean, I can't say it any better than that.
But then I start, you know, I'm doing more, getting more and more active because I waslazy.
I'm reading more and I do believe that reading is way better than watching a screen.

(23:41):
Because it doesn't really matter what you read.
I have become this.
I don't want to say this too bad, but I probably became a grumpy old man and I just readself-help books all.
mean, they're not self-help books, but I've just read books that self-improvement books.
And it's just like, I can't read nonfiction much anymore.

(24:05):
You know, it's just tough for me.
And it's, mean, there's some books I'm reading.
I'm a big Jack Carr fan.
So when his new books come out, I'll, but I listened to them as I go down the road.
But it was, we were talking the other day too.
And, we have, were talking the other day and it's funny because we were talking.

(24:35):
If we, we let's say you, you love dense spearfish.
Say, say you went to the, you were going to a college basketball game.
from your house, your old house.
And you drove to town and you didn't remember the drive you made because you do it sooften.

(25:01):
We are not as visual.
We don't take in anything.
It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm just saying in that aspect, I am saying we are becoming so, when we become so used togoing places like
I've went back to my dad's and didn't even remember I went through towns because you'rejust focused on other things.

(25:27):
And, and, and we need to start looking around a little bit more, seeing, not looking.
It's an awareness, right?
Like that's what we're talking about is is I need to be more aware of what I'm of themoment that I'm in That's one of the things that God's kind of shown me is too often what

(25:49):
we end up doing is we worry about the past we worry about what's going on back there orwhat I've done and I can't fix that and it's it's a shadow it's a ghost that follows me or
we worry about where we're gonna be and how we're gonna get there and where the money'sgonna come from and
we start worrying about our future and we start having some anxiety over that.
the scripture actually tells us what you can't change either one of those things.

(26:12):
So just worry about what you have in front of you right now today and keep taking thatnext step and keep taking that next step.
So the way I look at that is I need to enjoy the journey that I'm currently on and notlong for something out there that I'm not ever going to, you don't know if you're ever
going to get to it, right?
But I do know what I have right now in front of me and I know where

(26:33):
where that road is going.
And it's not that I don't think about where this is all going to end up, but I don't wantto, there's been moments, I guess, in what we do with the church that it gets so hectic.
My wife and I both said this, man, I just can't wait till we get past this.
I'm wait, like once we get past this event or once we get past this thing, I just want tobe past it.

(26:58):
And I'm like, no, we can't do that because
we're going to miss out on so many other little things because we're anxious about thisarea or this time that we're in that's so stressful because of this event or this thing
that we're involved with.
And so I don't want to just shoot past it, right?
And it's the same way on any trip or journey, like you're talking about.

(27:20):
We can zone out and just, it's almost like ducking our head just to get through it so wecan get done with whatever we're in the middle of.
the boring trip or the problem or whatever it might be.
And we're missing out on so much other stuff.
The people that come across our path, the opportunities to build relationship, the momentwhen we get to learn in hardship, right?

(27:48):
So I've been having these conversations with my son about mental toughness, right?
Have I talked with you about this, mental toughness?
No.
don't, we don't become mentally tough because things are going our way.
Mental toughness is developed when it is falling apart and you have to, you have toliterally think your way through it.

(28:13):
Look at the problem, work on a solution when you're getting the absolute crud beat out ofyou.
Right?
Like you, the mental toughness, you have to be aware of what's going on around you when itall seems to be chaotic and falling apart.
It's like a storm has hit and your plan is 20 miles behind you.

(28:35):
You have got to figure this out and you have choices in those moments.
You can just stop right there and lay down or you can turn into that storm and keepmoving.
Right.
That's one of the things that they talk about the difference between a buffalo or bisonand cattle.

(28:57):
Cattle will turn their tail to the wind and go with the storm, which keeps them in thestorm.
Or you can be like a buffalo and turn your head into the storm and walk towards it.
And at some point you're to get to the backside of that storm.
Well, it takes mental toughness to get through the darkest part of that.
That doesn't come easy.
That's something you have to have somebody.

(29:21):
Most of the time you have to have somebody show you how to be mentally tough.
Where it's not natural for us.
It's really natural for us to to give up and to run the other direction Oh fight or flightwe're more flight than we are fight most of the time
Well, it's interesting that that one part is true because when I get into those, momentsof needing mental health, mean, mental toughness, if I'm by myself, sometimes I come home

(29:54):
at lunchtime and I just watch YouTube a little bit and I'll admit that, but I go to Jaco'sgood.
Cause Jaco has the voice and he has the look and I met him a few times and
So you know that it's real in when he says good you you you You you missed ten layupsgood.

(30:18):
What are you gonna do about it?
I mean since it's basketball season you missed Because now what are you gonna do youthey're gonna keep on practicing layups or you're gonna quit good exit fix it
just saw, I just saw a Rick Latino clip where he is just absolutely crushing his St.
John's players.
Like it's halftime and he's like, what is wrong with you guys?

(30:42):
Do you not know how to dig in?
What kind of life have you led where you have no adversity whatsoever?
And when it shows up, you just quit?
No, I don't care if you miss a shot, get back on freaking defense, start playing the game,have some mental toughness.
What's wrong with you guys?
And I just like, he went off.
And I'm like, yeah, you know, who's teaching this stuff?
Who helps you work through that?

(31:03):
Yeah.
You, you, messed up.
Good.
What are you going to do?
You fell down.
Good.
You bruised your knee.
You got mud on your face.
You got embarrassed.
Good.
Now what are you going to do?
And I don't think we have enough of that.
And when we're talking about getting the funk out, this aspect of the funk is all right.
You're in a funk.

(31:23):
Right.
It sucks.
Good.
Right.
Well, I'm glad we came into this direction because you're right.
Cause it was the good moment.
It was, you're in a funk and you know it.
Now what are you going to do?
Good.
Fix it.
You go fix it.

(31:44):
Not people can't fix yourself for you.
They can help you fix some of the problems, but they can't.
fix you.
You have to go into your head and you have to say, I'm not going to put up with myselfanymore in the aspect of giving myself excuses.

(32:05):
Good.
Fix it.
Start.
I have done the same thing for two weeks.
I've done the same thing for a month and I'm in this funk and I can't get out of it.
That's not true.
Make a different choice.
Like stop doing the same thing over and over and over.
Make a different choice.
Do something different.
Right.
It doesn't have it.

(32:26):
If we talk about degrees, it does not have to be a 180 or even a 90 degree swing.
It's just a couple of degrees difference.
and it'll take you out of that funk that you're in.
Just make one thing different every day.
Just that one degree at a time will get you where you need to go, right?
Back on course.

(32:46):
So.
I don't think we think that way.
I don't think that's taught.
It is not taught anymore and it's, it drives me nuts at times because sometimes I feellike I am the old man and I, cause that's the way I was taught.

(33:07):
I tried to tell, I told a few people at work cause I had a couple guys and I thought, am Ithat old man that's telling, I don't want to go back and tell stories, but this is a story
that, and it's not about toughness.
It's about.
It's more about, I don't know, I wouldn't even say loyalty.

(33:29):
I don't know what it is, but here's the deal.
So I used to night calf and when we got down to the end of, know, it's slowing down alittle bit.
So I would go into town because we checked every two hours and you know, you're getting tothe end.
it's, I went into town and I played a little pickup basketball in between checks.

(33:52):
I stepped on a guy's foot and sprained my ankle.
And the next day when I went to the doctor, he said, you should have broke it because itwould be a lot better if you would have just broke your ankle because this is a tougher
sprain to fix.
It is.
It is.
But I went back and I nightcaved all night long and gimped around.

(34:14):
And then I went to the doctor that whenever I went to the doctor morning or afternoon.
And I went night cab that night and I gimped around.
Now, I'm not saying everybody has to do that.
And I'm not calling myself a hero for doing such things, but that's what was expected ofyou.
Unless you were dying, you were expected to be there if you could.

(34:37):
And there's a lot of other things, you know, I mean, I did stupid things.
I had some things happen and I had 25 stitches in my leg and I knew.
I knew the next night I was going to go play softball.
So I worked that day because I am not going to say I can not work, but I can go play ballor whatever.

(34:58):
You know, I mean, I broke my, I broke my hand and the next week I'm going elk hunting.
I'm still going elk hunting and, I'm not going to take off work because I broke my hand.
I'll use, I'll figure it out.
And maybe that's the deal.
And maybe that's what I should be talking about.
When we were saying good and trying to fix it, good is trying to figure it out.

(35:23):
Yeah.
Yeah, it's about problem solving, right?
Like this problem has been created in my life.
How do I, how do I work through that?
What do I do to, to, to be successful in this area when it's against me right now?
Like I'm handicapped, I'm down an arm, I'm down an ankle.
I'm physically hurting.

(35:46):
What do I do?
And there's some mental toughness that's got to come into that.
it like,
I know some tough dudes, they're just physically tough, right?
Like, wow, they're just, but they don't always have that mental capacity to get throughsome of the other things in life.
So there's this, it's not just about being physically tough.
It's about having that mental focus to be able to work through this stuff and to go, allright, this is against me.

(36:12):
I've got to figure this out.
Like, and I do have, I do have that kind of confidence in myself.
I'd say 90 % of the time.
You know what?
We'll figure it out.
This is it's a problem.
It's not a big problem.
We'll figure it out.
We can figure this out.
And I had to learn how to be that because I could be just like I think as a young man, asa especially teenager, I was a victim card player, you know, like, well, I can't do this

(36:42):
because of that.
And he did this and the coach is doing that.
And the teacher doesn't like me.
And
And you're carrying a chip around and you're angry at everybody and that gets you nowhere.
And so it took people to help me to get mentally where I needed to be.
and helped me to see that there's, there's a next level to this.

(37:03):
And it's a mental level.
It's not just about being physically there, but mentally there.
I think that we have to work on being emotionally tough.
That that doesn't always jive in our culture and emotional toughness.
And I'm not saying that.
I don't have emotions, but I do know how to control those.
do know, it, is an emotion, just like, uh, sadness and crying would be connected to anemotion.

(37:30):
So we've got to be able to be self-controlled and self-disciplined that there's anemotional toughness that needs to take place.
So I think it's in all of those levels.
As we look at it, how can I attain that?
What do I have to do to get there?
And it's the hard times.
It's the crucible.
of life that we go through that helps to create that refinement and that toughness in us.

(37:53):
And then we need to learn how to teach that to the next generation.
And I think you can teach it, but it's better to be there for that person who's goingthrough that tough time, because you have the experience of going through a tough time.
Does that make sense?
Well, you, like I said, you make a lot of sense and you have a lot of wisdom that...

(38:18):
But, I wrote this...
how we can pass that on.
That's where I'm at in my life.
Like, how do I pass that on to the next generation of men?
Because I think it's that's where it's needed.
Anyway, you said you had something you wrote.
Well, that's where I was going with this because you say, do I pass it on?
And this is what don't die.

(38:39):
Rusty's about is passing it on.
That's one thing.
And I think when I was younger, we were, you're talking about this and I always, I thinkwe need to learn.
I always said, I always said that I would rather take physical pain.
Like I could run.

(39:00):
I'd 100 run a hundred miles or get into a box.
Well, at the time I would have lasted 30 seconds.
I probably would have lasted two minutes with Mike Tyson.
Cause I ran, he could never caught me.
But anyway, but I mean, what I'm saying is I would rather got beat up by Mike beat up.
would have beat myself up.
I would rather add the physical pain than a mental pain.

(39:20):
And I think it takes, it takes certain people like you in now you have, you have
helped me find my mental toughness by believing better.
You've helped me, you've educated me where I had questions, we'll just say, on faith.

(39:41):
And it's not, but if we don't give people questions to ask of themselves, like I'm notafraid anymore.
You've given me confidence because
I really don't care if you come and ask me a question, I'm going to tell you the truthbecause that's all I have.

(40:05):
You know what I mean?
I can't, I'm not going to lie to you and say, I'm going to try to say you went throughthis thing, Rick, how did you fix it?
And I'm going to tell you the truth.
You may not want to listen to everything I have to say all the time, but if you pick upone thing and it's like, like I said, I've read, I was reading.

(40:26):
read all these books, it's not that I'm holding everything in my head that I'm reading,but if I get that one sentence or if I get that one chapter that hits me hard, I can make
myself better than I can read another book.
But to get mentally tough, we have to show and have confidence within ourself.

(40:52):
And I think that's a problem with a lot of
people these days is they don't have the confidence to stand up.
They don't want to be, I'm saying like you're the manager that has to ask the, you're anassistant manager, we'll just say, and you have to keep on asking the head manager what to

(41:13):
do.
Cause you don't want to make a decision because you, you don't want to, be wrong and getyelled at.
or you're a basketball player, I just missed a shot, now I'm gonna get taken out of thegame instead of, I missed a shot, but.
What do I gotta do to get the ball back?
Right?

(41:35):
Yeah.
You got to have confidence within yourself.
Like, you know what?
I missed a shot and I'm going to come back and I'm going to make it.
And I don't care who is out there in the world here.
Listen to this.
And you can argue with me on social media or wherever else, but the goat is Michael Jordanand he missed shots.

(41:56):
Absolutely.
You're right.
He missed a lot of shots, right?
But he made a lot too.
And he'll tell you, like he would, he'll tell you even today, he didn't learn from all ofthe victories and all of the main shots.
He learned from the misses and the losses.
That's what made him a better player.
The victories were a result of his failures.

(42:17):
And if we can come to terms with that.
Right.
If I can, I had a football coach that used to tell me, he'd go love one times a mistake.
Twice is a habit.
And I'm here to help you break habits.
I love that.
if, right?
So understanding that, like, are we gonna learn from falling down?

(42:38):
And the truth is we might have to fall down a couple of times before we learn the lesson,but are we gonna learn from that?
What can I take away from what is perceived as a failure?
Like that was some of the, one of the wisest things that I've ever been given is thefreedom to fail.
And it took place while I was there in Spearfish.

(43:00):
I sat with a counselor.
And he talked to me about some of the stuff that was going on in my job and where itwasn't working.
And he goes, so you're failing.
And I'm going, well, I haven't lost yet.
know, settled adage.
I didn't lose.
I just ran out of time.
But I had to come to terms with the fact that there are times where I lose.

(43:22):
There are times where I don't meet my goal.
That's a fail that I failed.
And what am I going to take away from that?
Can I admit I failed there?
Okay, what do I have to do now to not allow that to happen again?
I think most people, and I think you're like this, Rick, we don't like to fail.

(43:43):
It leaves a bad taste in our mouth, man.
Like we just don't like it.
And so what do I have to do to change that?
What do I have to do different the next time?
And it does go back to, well, I can't keep doing the same thing because that's bringing meto the same spot.
It's Einstein that's credited for that, right?
Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome.

(44:05):
That's the definition of insanity.
That's insane to think that I can do A, B, and C over and over and over and then get adifferent result.
So I have to choose to change something in the equation.
I have to choose that.
And I agree with you there.
And I think that I was never one to real, I hated failing in anything, in anything.

(44:31):
And I probably was overconfident in things, but not, I can't really say I was arrogant, Iguess, because I thought I was good.
I think that's more of the term of arrogance.
And I didn't, now that I look within myself, I was good at things and I was arrogantand...

(44:57):
I didn't realize that I should, you can be confident, but not cocky.
You can be confident, but not arrogant.
And I think I was arrogant with myself.
And I think that when I took a loss and you were there on the, probably the biggest lossof my life in losing a marriage, but here's the deal.

(45:26):
You helped me.
Like, it's one of those things where you...
You have a sponge of arrogance and it's full.
And when the bad thing happens and you lose, the sponge got just ringed and it's dry.

(45:55):
Then you talk to the right people and you start learning about yourself.
And slowly the moisture starts getting back into that sponge.
And you learn to be confident within yourself, but not arrogant.
And you learn how to confidence is also giving back to the people that have helped you,but also to the people around you.

(46:19):
And the sponge keeps on getting full and it gets full.
So sometimes you have to probably wring that sponge out a bunch of times, but
I'm telling you the last time that you, this is a long time that I feel that, like I said,went, mean, I got to that funky stage.

(46:42):
I think it only like lost a little moisture because I was losing confidence within myself.
But now that I start getting more confidence of going and doing the things that I'm doingnow, I also think like, I don't.
I don't have a place to go shoot indoors like I used to and I love shooting indoorarchery.

(47:05):
I don't have things that, and it was also a people thing.
Like we talked and you knew you were, I always knew I was decent.
wasn't great, but I was, I could keep, you know, it's like skiers talk.
I could keep up with you.
I, I'm not going to, I might win some days and I might lose the next, but I was confidentin my abilities and.

(47:29):
I think I start, I think you get into the funk because you start losing confidence inyour, like I said, I was losing confidence in my abilities in a lot of different places
because I wasn't that 25, 30 year old that could go climb 10 mountains and find that oneanimal that I wanted to hunt, we'll say, and, or do other things.

(47:50):
was, I have to change how I do things and stay confident and still win.
Right.
Yep.
There's, there's moments, I think we go through where we start to have self doubt and Ilike, I don't think that's necessarily unhealthy to have a little bit of self doubt

(48:13):
because it causes you to re-examine yourself.
And I think we periodically need to be able to re-examine who we are and what we're aboutand where we're going.
And it's just like, these little course adjustments in life.
Mm-hmm.
I believe arrogance, like that sponge, let's use that analogy.
love that arrogance.
And when I'm an arrogant person, I'm wringing moisture out of other people because I'm,can't produce that myself, but with confidence, the confidence, the, the, the moisture is,

(48:44):
is something that I'm producing because I know who I am.
I know what my abilities are.
I know where my weaknesses are and I am not necessarily comfortable with that.
but I'm at peace with those things, knowing that I can do this, I am capable, I can learnand grow and strengthen some of those weaknesses.

(49:05):
And then I can be smart enough to put people around me that will help me who are strongwhere I am weak.
So once we get to that point, that's where that confidence begins to flow out of us.
It's not something we have to draw from someone else.
It's within me.
And that's honestly,
intimidating for a lot of people.

(49:26):
When they're around a person who has that kind of confidence, it can be intimidating, butit can also be very attractive because people want to have that same confidence in
themselves.
And so when we can build confidence in somebody and say, look, this is what I see.
Trust me, man, like you can do this.
You are capable.
You have this ability.

(49:47):
I can't do what you can do.
Like that's pretty cool.
And to be able to help people see that.
Right?
I do believe we've got to call.
So finding your why is huge when it comes to this confidence.
Like, why am I doing this?
Well, here's why.
Okay.
What is it that I need to continue to do?
This is, this is where I'm confident and I can do this.

(50:09):
And I need to be okay with going, Rick, I don't know what to do here, man.
Would you help me?
That I don't think that's a lack of confidence.
I think that shows confidence, right?
For me to come to you and ask for help.
That's not something we're taught, especially as men.
You're supposed to take care of it yourself.
You're supposed to get it done.
You don't need anybody else.
Well, no, that's not how it's supposed to be.

(50:31):
Like it's just, we're just not wired that way.
That's a lie.
I think that gets perpetuated.
And so when we can come together and go, we're better together than we are separately.
When we come to that belief and begin to work that way, you will see confidence start tobloom in the relationships.

(50:51):
that are part of all of that.
And that's, that's, I think where it is almost perfect, right?
It's unity.
Yep.
And it's, it's, I think we start surrounding ourselves with those people that help usbuild those confidence.
Cause we can use the sports, the sports analogy.

(51:14):
Like when you're on a team or you can be in a military or wherever you want to be in ateam, sometimes the talk within the camaraderie of a team, like, you know, everybody,
You can have stars on a team, but you have to have the team to make the star.

(51:36):
And, and I think that, then we get older, we get out of the sports, but we learned fromsports that it's a team effort.
And then when we start surrounding ourselves with those people that can help us make usbetter, that aren't afraid to, we aren't afraid to ask questions and they aren't afraid to

(51:58):
ask questions.
And.
When we start putting ourselves out there, so the people we don't even know who we'retalking to right now can start asking questions and they can ask questions of both of us,
or they can ask questions of who's ever in their inner circle.
But when you can start asking those questions and saying, you know, you've got to thepoint where you say, good, I've been in this bad place.

(52:24):
Good.
Now, how am I going to get out?
And you then, and you go ask that partner.
How am I gonna get out of this?
Can you help me?
And I don't know, it could be your wife, it could be your best buddy, it could be a newperson that you don't even know that you feel that you can talk to, but as long as we can

(52:45):
go do that and get out of our funk, you know, cause you know, I'm a firm believer in thatand that's why you and I have been
friends for so long is because I mean, we talked about this a year ago now, but you werethat friend that walked in that we were acquaintances at the time.

(53:17):
And I still had belief that I could talk to you and we have become friends.
And if you can find that person, know, I mean, we have become a society.
where we love to see the downfall of men and we love to talk about the downfall of men.

(53:42):
The problem is when we love to see this and talk about it, we don't look within ourselvesand say that could be us.
And when we start stop caring about.
not being, you know, I mean, that's the problem with the gossip or anything else.

(54:07):
If you're a big gossiper and people love to gossip, then they start talking.
If you're the gossiper, people are gonna gossip about you too.
So why don't we help these people?
Why don't we say, you know what, you have had a downfall, I'm gonna help you out.

(54:27):
if they ask for it or whatever.
I'm not saying, you can't help everybody if they don't want help.
But I'm talking like, everybody, go ahead.
Well, like, I want to be intentional about putting myself in places where I am going toimpact someone or where I have the opportunity to prop, maybe impact somebody.

(54:59):
You know, I'd been going to triggers for how long?
Like a couple of years through two or three years.
And you were in and out and you were working there and I got to know Justin and, and andreally well and
Just spending time and I never did come in there and go.
yeah the preacher over here at the church, you know, and you need to be in church and Ijust I didn't feel like that that was Genuine I didn't feel like that's what people needed

(55:24):
but I did want to place myself In a position where if you needed me, I'm there right?
And so I still try I still attempt to do that like I want to put myself in places where Ican develop relationships and
help people if they need or want my help.

(55:44):
I think this is a positioning, Rick.
Don't die rusty.
It's a mindset.
And there's a mental toughness to that.
Don't die rusty.
Don't just sit in your lazy boy and rust away.
Get out there and wear yourself out.
And so this is a platform.
This is a positioning in order to be able to help people.

(56:08):
move forward.
the problem we have is that we all grow up in a certain environment.
And I think I mentioned this before.
The environment I grew up in, I just automatically assume you grew up in a similarenvironment.
And it's not true.
Your environment, the way you grew up, was totally different than the way I grew up.

(56:29):
And so I come away from my environment with only knowing how to operate the way I wastaught in my environment.
And we get a lot of people who are doing it and they're caught in this cycle that's toxic.
They're caught in this cycle that's unhealthy.
And they don't know how to get out because they don't, they don't know any other way.
Well, this platform gives us an opportunity to share, to grow together.

(56:53):
And then they offer that opportunity for others to grow into here.
There's a different way.
You can be better.
There is a better way.
You might not see it right away, but give it a chance, man.
Give it a shot.
Here's some things that we can do.
Here's how we can apply some of this stuff.
Here's what we want to do to help you.
You got questions, ask them.
If we don't have the answer, we're going to help you find it.

(57:15):
Like I think that that's what's valuable about what is going on here through this podcastis that people don't even really have to answer the ask the question because you're
already asking the questions for them at times.
And they get to come here and go, you know, I've really been thinking about that.
Like I get it.
I get into a funk right after Christmas.
I don't know why.

(57:35):
And I don't know how to get out of it.
I don't like it.
I just find myself there.
OK, well, you asked the question tonight.
And so how can we help them get the funk out?
It's all of that stuff that that we've been talking about, the conversations you have withyour guests that you bring on.
It's about giving people.

(57:57):
A perspective, so and I think I've talked about this too, but I feel like it's importantto repeat.
We have a perception in life that's clouded by our own experiences and our own lenses, butit's not true perspective.
Perception is what we see from our side of the window and that window could be cruddy andfingerprints all over it.

(58:18):
And we get a false view of what that really is this going on out there.
So what we have to have is enough people who will give us the truth that it clears up andgives us a true perspective of what is happening in life and what life is really about.
because it gets clouded up by all this other stuff, our hurts, the way we hurt people, thething, our losses, the way we've taken and stolen from others, what's been stolen from us,

(58:45):
what we've never learned, all those things begin to impact our perception.
And we need people that will give us perspective, true perspective.
And that's truth.
Perspective is.
Perception is just my view of it.
I want to know the truth.
So,
This gives perspective.

(59:06):
Yeah, cause I'm curious all the time.
I truly am.
It's like, I like to ask people's opinions of things that from, like to ask the samequestion to like four or five different people.
Cause it's amazing how you get so many different perspectives from four or five differentpeople.

(59:26):
And that's why, I mean, I love having the ricktastics on.
we get Ashley's perspective.
perspective and Ricky's perspective.
And like I said, I was being selfish tonight because I just wanted to, we haven't had aconversation of our own, but I know that every time I get to have a conversation with you,

(59:48):
that I learned something.
And that's what some of those texts were saying too, is like, they love to hear you talk.
And it maybe it's because,
you know, I'll ask a question and you come out with this wisdom that Rick doesn't eventhink of, you know, but when you put it in perspectives, you put it in perspectives that

(01:00:11):
the common person, and I'm saying I'm a common person too, that can understand things.
We aren't trying to go above and beyond and think we're smarter than somebody else.
We're trying to put it in a perspective where everybody can understand.
you know, I mean, I,
follow a few things philosophically.

(01:00:32):
And it's funny that how people, like some philosophers, modern day I'm talking, feel thatthey are above people.
Like you can't, like we come from middle America and we can't be a philosopher.
Well, that's baloney.
If there's some of the best philosophers came from.

(01:00:55):
drove cattle up from Texas to Montana and Gus McCray was one of the best philosopherswe'll ever meet.
Yeah, right.
Yep.
You know, and I think people lose the value of real people.
we, I'm going to go like, I just see there are so many people that have some good advicethat people don't hear about or listen to.

(01:01:28):
I was talking to, I was actually talking to one of my workers today.
And it's fun because I get to have conversations with him and he's so open-minded.
We go back and forth and we are working on something.
we were talking about this stuff, but I said, know, my perfect job would be to put outsome fires, keep people's spirits up and try to put, which is interesting because I'm

(01:02:01):
talking about Kelly Lovelace as I'm telling this stuff, but.
Like put out a few fires, give some inspiration, maybe give some thoughtful advice to somepeople so they become a better version of them, which helps out the business in itself
because we have a good thought about this stuff.

(01:02:25):
I used to talk to one of our, like I said, I think I did.
I used to talk to a guy every once a week.
We'd sit down and talk about God, about work, about life for an hour before I left.
It was like a check-in thing.
And he's not there anymore.

(01:02:46):
And Pete Miller, if you're listening, it's you.
So anyway, but anyway.
he would help both of us out.
And I try to put that in perspective, but I think...
in today's society like I keep on going back to, we have been taught to be different.

(01:03:07):
I see things that it's not about bettering yourself, it's about beating people and it'sabout...
It's about finances.
Cause I talked to Lindsay, like I said earlier, Lindsay Ulrich and she had a stroke, likeI said, and couldn't, but she said also, when I gave her the question, what's the best

(01:03:36):
life for Lindsay, she said, it's about my, having my kids see, be better, know, like seewhat she's done so they can,
Be good themselves more or less is where I took it and To and she realized because shesaid her mother-in-law died early that her mother-in-law says do that stuff Do that stuff

(01:04:03):
go do it in and there are so many people these days that are afraid to go do it You knowand and and I talked to I Actually had another conversation today because I have some
that people seem to come and ask what my opinion would be.
And I said, you know what?

(01:04:24):
All I ever want for you guys is to be the best you.
And your decisions are based upon what would make you the best you.
I can only help you be the best you if you wanna be.
I always say, know, chase your dreams.

(01:04:44):
Do chase your dreams and go on adventures while you...
can or don't ever feel like you are, are trapped or sat down.
I mean, some of these, you know, I'm saying like maybe another job opportunity.
If you feel that that's better for you, go do it.
I mean, or if you want to move somewhere and try another job opportunity, go do it.

(01:05:11):
I'm not here to say you can't, but I'm saying you're coming to me right now.
So you're not burning a bridge.
And I like your work ethic.
think you'll be a, but go chase these dreams while you can.
Cause how do we know that you're not going to make a difference over there or over there?
You know, I mean, I, I left, I left little town Rehide, South Dakota, and I've lived inSpearfish for a long time.

(01:05:41):
You know, where I could have been stayed, I could have stayed.
and been comfortable, worked on ranches for the rest of my life and never chased dreams.
There's a quote and I'm trying to remember who it by.
And what it says is, ships find safety in a harbor, but ships weren't made for the harbor.

(01:06:04):
Right?
And so you're like, man, that like we get so caught up in being in the comfort and safetyof the harbor, but that's not what we were created for.
I don't think anybody was created for that.
I think that that's a, a trap we fall into because
this is comfortable and safe.
And there comes a point when you're like, man, I was way too comfortable and safe all mylife.

(01:06:27):
And I missed out on so much because you're not meant to be in a Harbor.
That's not.
Sips are made for the open sea, man.
And we need to be able to, to do those things and chase after that stuff and, and enjoythose moments.
but fear.

(01:06:47):
is what does that, what keeps us in the harbor fear of losing.
Like for me, that's probably been the biggest obstacle in my life is fear of loss.
Cause I can't stand losing, right?
Like I don't want to lose, but the truth is if I don't lose, I don't know what winningfeels like.

(01:07:11):
I don't, really, I don't know.
I don't know what it looks like to succeed if I haven't had a loss here and there.
And everybody loses at some point, everybody does.
So the losses shouldn't be the thing that I fear, not making the attempt, right?
The answer is always no, unless you ask the question, if you don't ask the question.

(01:07:34):
If I don't ask you, Rick, the answer is always gonna be no in my mind.
So it's better for me to ask you the question and find out if it's gonna be a yes or notand to take that chance.
And we just don't operate that way, because of fear.
I don't want to allow fear to stand in between me and my purpose.

(01:07:55):
I want my purpose to be in between me and my fear.
Does that make sense?
When I'm chasing my purpose and not worried about the fear, man, that's when I'm in mygroove and that's a God thing, right?
That's a God thing.
So.

(01:08:17):
It is a God thing and here's where you've just made me, you know how you shoot me withlightning when I'm looking at you on this video, you know, it's like boom, it hits me in
the head.
But here's, you, you sailed your ship out of the harbor.

(01:08:39):
It's because it's interesting, I just, like I said, I get hit and I think about things,I'm trying.
When you were talking, I'm listening to you, but I'm also trying to put it in aperspective that I voice what I mean, how I feel.
So you impacted me within a year and a half, was it probably a year and a half before youwent to Oaks or so, would you say?

(01:09:06):
yeah, it's probably close to two.
So you impacted me for two years.
And then your ship sailed out of the harbor.
And it strikes me funny here in the aspect that you've impacted me and we are stilltalking, so I'm that little dingy out there on the river, out on the ocean.

(01:09:34):
And you're the big old yacht.
rolling around by me, but here's my, here's, if you went and sailed your ship out of theharbor and impacted other people in Oakston, North Dakota, you have grandchildren now
because you moved to Oakston, North Dakota and you have people that count on you inOakston, North Dakota.

(01:10:00):
And if you would not have shipped, if you would have not taken that chance,
Because what you're doing is leaving little dinghies all the way across to Oaks, NorthDakota.
Well, I hope that's true.
You are.
And now you know, you have more people listening to you that aren't even in these twostates.

(01:10:30):
And you're making impacts on them.
So when you sailed out of the harbor in that aspect and took that chance, your grandkidsare coming, your kids found love.
Uh-huh.
you're impacting the people that are there and and I'm just starting to I feel because notthat I wasn't impacting people somehow before but this is getting the word out and By

(01:11:03):
having guests like you on who we are making a bigger impact
You know, like, cause you keep on talking to this dinghy.
Well, we're two dinghies together.

(01:11:27):
But isn't it amazing what you've done?
You don't think about those things though.
I mean you can't think about that you left the harbor and you didn't know when you leftthis town to go on an adventure to Oaks.
And it had to be an adventure because everything's an adventure.

(01:11:50):
And you did not know that you're going to have grandchildren.
You didn't know that you're going to have your kids married.
You didn't.
None.
But think of the impact that you have now with what you have done.
And that's so when we start talking about funky, like getting the funk out and we, if wewould

(01:12:15):
be more introspective and listen to these conversations like you and I are having, there'smore, we can get funky for just that little bit, but you know what?
You've impacted people for miles.
Yeah.
So our little funk should be getting out of us and we should be proud of where we are at.

(01:12:39):
Yeah, for me, I'm my own worst critic, probably.
Like you couldn't criticize me more than I'm going to criticize myself over things thatI've done.
I don't want to say I'm second guessing, but I go back and I look at situations and Iwonder if there was a way that I could have maybe handled that better or done this

(01:12:59):
different or, and the truth is after a lot of maturing and growing up,
Yeah, there's some of those situations where I was a little bit more impulsive, where Ishould have kind of reigned it in a little bit.
But there are some where I'm like, no, I couldn't have handled that anymore, anydifferently.
Like I really couldn't as much as I thought maybe I should have.

(01:13:19):
I couldn't, it had to be handled that way.
And I'm learning that more and more as I get older, that God's given me a certain view ofthings and a certain perspective that is not mine, but helps me to see the bigger picture.
And what I want to do is help people.
to see it, right?
Like, let's get away from the tree that you're stuck on and let's look at this biggerpicture that's around us and how you're impacting people and how you're affecting

(01:13:48):
relationships and how community is either built or destroyed by what you're doing or notdoing.
And so to try to help people move that direction, right?
And again, this is one of those platforms that I really enjoy having these conversationswith you guys.
And I do learn a lot listening to you guys and the feedback that is a part of this as weas we talk.

(01:14:14):
The other side of that is I want people to know I want them.
I want them to know they're not alone in this world.
Like my passion in my heart is that like there is a God who loves you deeply anddesperately.
And he was so desperate.
He came down here and died.

(01:14:34):
so that you would have an opportunity to be in relationship with him.
You are never alone.
He is just a prayer away.
Like all you have to do is turn towards him.
He's done the heavy lifting.
So just look to him.
The other side of that is you are loved.
Like not just, you're not alone.
You're loved.
There are people that love you more than you can imagine.

(01:14:58):
There's a God that loves you to a depth that we just don't quite understand.
And the proof of that is Jesus, his outward expression of that is Jeremiah 29 11 where hesays, I have a plan for you to give you a hope in a future.
Not to harm you, but to give you direction and give you something that you can lookforward to.

(01:15:22):
So that's the kind of God I want people to know that I want them to know they're nottrapped in the life that they're living.
I want them to know that they can they can live a better life.
Like it can be.
better.
It might get worse before we get there and I think you've heard me say that.
Rick, it's going to get better but it's probably going to get worse before we get there,right?

(01:15:46):
Yes, I am.
y'all let you finish.
Well, no, that's it.
Like, I want people to know that.
That's my passion that we can choose to live better.
We don't have to be stuck and live this way that's toxic and dysfunctional anddestructive.
So.

(01:16:06):
We talked about the Einstein theory, I mean, you can't change things if you keep on doingthe same thing kind of thing.
And here's where I go with this is I kept on thinking I was moving forward and there'slittle things that would make me think of the past and I kept on.

(01:16:33):
it'd be relationship wise, but or it would be like how I was, how I was more athletic inhealth.
And I think it, brought me down thinking I was trying to be that.
And I was comparing, you know, you're not supposed to compare yourself to people, but theproblem is when you compare yourself to yourself, you know what I mean?

(01:16:57):
I'm comparing myself to years ago, not right now.
And when I,
When I, one day I can't remember where I, I think I was driving down the road and I wasbeing like, I was aware of things and I'm looking at myself and I'm going, stop it.

(01:17:18):
Right now, stop comparing yourself to who you were and remember who you are.
And when I remember, it struck me in like we were talking earlier,
with that book about if you take one positive, one negative thing out and put one positivething back in your life and you keep on building that up and taking the negative, things

(01:17:46):
will start coming together.
And I thought, so for the last month, we'll say, since we, I've been trying to do that.
And now I'm realizing that the comparison
of who you were is way different than who you are.

(01:18:07):
And I've become a better person, I think, in the mental part.
And maybe I've lost a step in the physical part, but I can still do things.
It's not like, like I said, I can keep up.
So I think that has gotten me out of my funk because...

(01:18:28):
You can never compare.
I'm not going to compare myself to Kelly.
I'm not going to compare, but I think the worst comparison is like you said, you look atyour harder on yourself than you are on anybody else.
And I was comparing myself to my younger version of me physically we'll say.
And that was dumb.

(01:18:49):
That was dumb of me to do.
And now I'm, I'm more at peace.
I'm a better.
person because I was searching and, it's funny, I used to have that search necklace.
Now I have the don't die rusty necklace on because I thought I was always searching forsomething.

(01:19:11):
Now I'm just not going to die rusty.
And I found within myself that, you know, that oxidation, I'm not going to die from theinside out.
And I'm going to, and,
and I'm going to do everything in my power to be the best person and leave a mark on thisworld that is good.

(01:19:36):
And if people can, if people can utilize that into a good manner, then that's awesome.
But if they can't, at least I gave my best.
And that's where that's the good.
Yeah.
So this is, this is the, the, the perspective part of it, right?
Moving from the perception of physically 15 years ago, I was on fire, man.

(01:20:01):
I was the best physical shape I could have ever been.
And I was just like going, the perspective is we are not the same people we were 20 yearsago.
And that's across the board.
Now, maybe we'd like to be physically better and closer to that.
But the truth is who we are today is miles ahead of where we were just in the way wethink, in the way we see life, in the way we impact people, the way we invest our time.

(01:20:31):
Right.
You think about all the time that you spent chasing things that, you know, they, they,thought they matter.
I thought it was important, but it sure took a lot of time away from things that I now seeare more important.
Right.
definitely.
So I can say that about me and I believe I can say that about you.
We're not the same guy.

(01:20:52):
We're not the same people we were 20 years ago, 15 years ago, 10 years ago, even a yearago.
Right?
Like we've matured and we've come to this place where if I can accept it, right, I am inmy 50s.
I'm in my mid 50s and I'm not physically what I used to be by any stretch.

(01:21:14):
I'm still capable.
Yep.
I am still capable, but I'm not physically, my mind is way better than I was.
Like I would say my way of thinking, maybe even my mental toughness is degrees better thanit was when I was that age because something came really easy back then.

(01:21:39):
Now we've got to work a little bit harder on some of that stuff.
And that's where I think we get in this world where we don't give people second chances.
know, and I'm gonna, we got a few more things to talk about here, but I'll tell you someof the other things I took out of my life is I take out the social media part where if I'm

(01:22:03):
seeing,
Politics used to get me really down.
And I've started taking that out of my life.
started shooting, I started turning off the news a little bit more and watching theweather maybe, but not that I don't keep up with.

(01:22:28):
the geopolitical scene that's going on,
Yeah, not that I don't keep up with that stuff.
But that stuff was bringing me down and because we don't need the infighting on socialmedia or whatever.
I don't need that part.
So that's a headache.
Yeah, you know, I only I only take so many ibuprofen a day and I you know, I mean, andthat's kidding.

(01:22:54):
But what I'm saying is
If when you start realizing what is tearing you down, you start taking it out.
So take that negative thing out and put another positive thing in.
So, I mean, those are little things, you know, I mean, help put on, help people put asmile on their face.
You know, I saw, saw, and I'm going to do this.

(01:23:17):
I don't know when I'm going to do it, but I, I, I saw this thing where people were cuttingin line at the grocery store.
Yep.
So I'm gonna cut, but they would cut in line and they'd kind of watch and they would onlyhave like two or three items themselves.
And then they'd walk and they'd cut in line and people were getting upset.

(01:23:40):
But then they would pay for the person behind them's groceries.
And I thought, know, wouldn't that be fun to do?
a few times.
Because what happened was, I was watching this, what happened was is in,
That person said, no, no, no, no.
And then they did.
And the person that they bought the groceries for bought the person's groceries behindthem.

(01:24:03):
All I'm saying about this is, think of fun things to do good for people.
Like they were astonished that they were buying their groceries.
Some people, you know, think about, you don't know what kind of day somebody's having ifyou did that.
that might turn, when we talk about...
Second chances, that might turn a second chance around right there.

(01:24:26):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think when we can come up with ideas on how to bring people together and unify them.
And that's a unifier, right?
Like to do a good deed for somebody just because you want to.
Right?
No one's holding a gun to your head.
No one's making you do it.
They don't have your wife held hostage somewhere.

(01:24:50):
You've made this decision.
Like, I want to do this for somebody.
And this looks like a good person I can do that for.
Hopefully it makes your day and it changes the world just a little bit.
like we said, like I said earlier, one degree.
If I can move it one degree away from where it is towards something better, I want to dothat.
So anyway, well, you and I have been talking for an hour and a half here just about.

(01:25:15):
Hahaha!
So I don't know if you can hear this.
I was gonna play this for you.
Maybe you could bust out a move or something.
You know, play that funky music.

(01:25:37):
Yep.
That was Leap Garrett.

(01:25:57):
So, in ending this, instead of the good life, I mean, we ask that all the time.
What's a good question to ask tonight?
you're going to ask me to ask the question,
Well, I'll throw it your way.
Let's see.

(01:26:20):
Where do you find your, I don't know how to say it.
It's not peace.
It's fulfillment.
What fulfills you, Rick?
What is it that you're just like, yep, I'd like to marinate in this moment for just alittle while.
I feel fulfilled and at peace in this moment.

(01:26:40):
So what fulfills you?
What, what, you know what fulfills me is to-
I was fulfilled.
I mean, I have a great wife that gives me peace.
And that fulfills me that I don't have to ask any questions.

(01:27:04):
I don't have to worry about one thing except, you know, mean, health or whatever, youknow, you worry about, but I don't have to worry mentally.
So when you're mentally tough, when we talk about mentally tough, that's one worry I donot have.
But what fulfilled me in you, this is a

(01:27:24):
This happens, I'm not saying it doesn't happen a lot, but it happens about every Saturdaywhen I climb Bear Butte.
When things all come together.
I had clouds below me, I had sunrise and I had oranges, I had pinks, I had blues.

(01:27:49):
And I'm sitting there and there's, you're not gonna believe this, but there was.
just a breeze, there wasn't a wind.
And it took me a long time to get to the top on Saturday, not because, and I felt good.
But I stood there and I looked at the beauty.

(01:28:13):
And I understood what was around me, and I understood what was surrounding me.
And sometimes I feel bad that I'm the only one that gets to see this, but I'm
And other times I don't, but.
It was like God was filling my soul.

(01:28:33):
And I was talking about the funky stuff, but in honesty, it was filling my soul up becauseI was seeing this creation ahead of me of the day.
I was seeing the clouds were moving and you can never capture any of this.

(01:28:57):
I mean, I...
I got pictures, but you can never capture the whole thing with a picture.
And I had a friend that said, I I said, I take the picture in the morning, but I took thepictures on Saturday, as I always do, but I sat there and watched in wonder.

(01:29:24):
And I sat there and...
just quiet and the wind's blowing through my, you know, by me.
I wasn't really blowing, I had a stocking cap on so I wasn't blown by my ears, the breezewas there on my face and the sun's coming up and I'm starting to warm and those things

(01:29:45):
fill my soul up with energy and fill me because.
How many people and how many things in this world do you get to just sit there and wonder?
And you know that the sun's gonna come up tomorrow, but how many people see it?
How many people feel it?

(01:30:06):
How many people enjoy it?
And I was, and the most astonishing thing was, I was all by myself.
I mean, usually there's people that start coming up,
when I'm coming down.
But the whole journey that I took on Saturday, and it was a beautiful day, if that's whatsurprised me the most, I kept on looking to see if there's anybody down by my vehicle as

(01:30:31):
I'm coming down the mountain.
And I just felt like, thank you, you've given me a morning where there was no questions.
I'm taking in this whole site.
And you've given me, I'm talking about God, you've given me something to put a smile on myface and fill my soul.

(01:31:01):
so I'm saying the sun rises on the perfect day that you don't get, because you don't getthose every day.
I mean, I can go out and have, I can go out and have take a picture of a sunrise everyday, but the perfect, I mean, you get maybe
If you're lucky, 30 of those a year.

(01:31:21):
If you're lucky, I mean for me personally, to take it, take it in.
Right.
Right.
That's when you when you take in the moment, it's the moment and you got to realize thatyou're in that moment.
And I've been telling people to realize you're in that moment.
And I realized this is something big to me.

(01:31:44):
It was.
mean, other people may not have seen it, but it was really big to me.
So the fulfillment to fulfill me is to have those peaceful mornings where
Just feels so good.
Well, how about you, Jelly?

(01:32:06):
I'd say mine are really similar, Rick.
As you're talking, I just remember there's this movie that I really like.
It's The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.
And he's chasing down this photographer because he needs to find this last picture for themagazine, the last magazine that's ever going to go out.

(01:32:27):
And I can't remember the name of the magazine that he works for.
I think it's Life, but I'm not positive.
And he finally catches him up in the Himalayas.
This guy's a daydreamer.
So anyway, he's experiencing life for the first time because everything else wasexperienced through the photographs that he received.
So he's caught the guy and they're trying to take this picture of a snow leopard up in theHimalayas.

(01:32:52):
And it's hard to get.
It's a hard, hard picture.
It's like a lifetime picture for this photographer.
And he gets it like he gets the perfect that that leopards in the right spot.
And he's got Walter Mitty over shoulder going, are you going to take the picture?
And he goes, no, this one's for me.

(01:33:14):
Right?
Like that moment is his and he's not going to share that with the world.
That's his moment.
And I have some moments like that, that it's just like...
It's not, it's not God is speaking anything specific into my heart in that moment.

(01:33:34):
But he's speaking to me.
You know what I mean?
That's exactly what I was trying to say.
When I go out on the in the badlands and there's not very many moments that I get to bealone out there because I'm with my son in laws and we kind of go out in pairs.
There's that there's moments when I do go out on my own.

(01:33:58):
And there's just something about that environment, whether it's a sunrise or sunset orwatching, just being there and.
soaking all of that vastness in and the beauty that, my thought is who gets to do this?

(01:34:23):
who gets to think of the millions and millions of people that have never been there, neverexperienced that.
There's that moment, there's fulfillment, right?
There's a peace that goes deep into my soul and it nourishes me.

(01:34:43):
I think God used that to nourish my soul.
And I love those moments, man.
I cherish them.
I don't want to lose them.
I look forward to the next moment and I want to be aware of the whole experience, but it'sthose moments.
It's not much different than you.
don't think the outdoor, what God's done for me through my love for the outdoors and beingin his creation is way better than any movie.

(01:35:16):
It's way better than any TV show or book that I read.
It's like, just, it's big.
It's, it's important.
And I want others to experience that.
Like when I come away from that, I'm like, how can we help them experience what I justexperienced?

(01:35:37):
And I think it takes an awareness and it takes time, right?
For others to grab a hold of it, for the world to slow down and...
Stoke up every second.

(01:35:59):
It's almost like you can hear in a way the clock ticking as.
As it just floods over you and I want to marinate in that moment, I want to I want to stayright there as long as I can.
With an understanding that I can't stay there forever.
But I want that moment and I want to continue to experience those moments, so I thinkthat's a big part of.

(01:36:25):
what God does for me through those moments, through that time that I spend out in what hegives us.
And it happens at different times.
Like the Badlands is one of those moments.
This year I was in Iowa and shot a pretty nice buck.
And when I tracked him and I just sat down next to him and I just wanted to soak up thatmoment with the squirrels moving and the birds chirping and

(01:36:55):
and
that moment, right?
And it wasn't the fact that I had this pretty nice buck laying next to me.
It was, there was this moment that just spoke volumes and just, so it is those things andI cherish them.
I want to share them if I can.
And then there's some that I'm like, no, that one's for me.

(01:37:18):
That one right there, that one's for me.
So.
And I will agree with you.
Like, I like that what you just said, because that's kind of where I was saying, like,there's days that I like sharing with everybody else.
And there's days.
And like I said, I took the pictures, some of the pictures, but they didn't get to see allof what I saw because I didn't take all the pictures that I could have taken.

(01:37:45):
But it was for me, like sitting there, standing there actually.
I sat down too, but just watching and...
You know, you think about this, you think about the millions and millions of people thatare waking up in asphalt or city smells and they don't get to smell the pines, the sage,

(01:38:10):
the frost, the light.
If there was a light rain, I love the smell of rain, you know what I mean?
And people don't...
They don't stop to smell it for one thing, like you said.
And maybe I'm trying to say, you know, see the things, don't just look.

(01:38:32):
So anyway, I like that we have the similar things.
figured that's what fills me and makes me happy.
joy, I would say more than happy, it makes me joyful to have those moments for me.
Yeah.
And I, you can, I like, those are logged in the back of my mind and I have pictures.

(01:38:58):
but really they're logged in the back of my mind and I can kind of go through my little,mental Rolodex and remember the memory.
And sometimes it's like you said, Sage, I'll smell Sage or I'll smell, smell of fresh rainor, it takes me back to that memory, right?
It kind of plugs into that memory and you're just like,

(01:39:19):
Can't wait for the next one, right?
Like I'm storing up memories.
So yeah, that's.
That's a big deal.
It is because it's interesting that our memories are scratching sniff too.
know, that, you know, cause you can have the worst.
And this is the other part about being funky too.

(01:39:40):
mean, it takes you back to funk is you can have that funky time, but there's those littlesmells and those little things.
Like I feel like deja vu sometimes.
like, like
and those good memories come back and start filling you back up.
And that's what I was talking about, fill those positive, keep on putting positive back inyou, and that's some of it too.

(01:40:06):
So those memories for you, those are good too.
Yeah, they're there, right?
They're in the old noggin and it's good to have them because there's days you need them.
Right.
And I'm just amazed at how they can come back from a sound or a smell or, you know, somelittle thing.

(01:40:29):
And it's just a reminder.
You know what I'm stressing over is really not that big a deal.
It's just not right.
Like, that's a big deal.
That memory helped me to
get my mind right.
So.
well, I'm going to let you go so your battery doesn't run out here.

(01:40:51):
But thank you so much, Kelly.
Yeah, I love talking with you, man.
I love you.
You know that and I just appreciate your friendship and everything you're doing and I wantyou to know that you've talked about my impact through this.
I wouldn't have this opportunity if it weren't for you and so I appreciate theopportunity, man.
And as much as you know, I believe in you.

(01:41:15):
I appreciate the fact that you believe in me and that's
That's what this is about.
having those bonds and building off of them and inviting people in like come be a part ofthis.
So yeah.
mean, like you're a permanent member of the Rick Tows success for sure, you know, andyou're a permanent friend too.

(01:41:39):
And I just love having these conversations every time because I learned something and Iappreciate the times that we get to spend these times together.
I really truly appreciate and it.
These fill me up too, that fills the soul up because I think about things and you'vehelped me out.

(01:42:04):
So thank you so much too.
that's Proverbs 27 17.
It's as iron sharpens iron, so when sharpens another, and so we're able to sharpen eachother through these moments and hopefully other people get sharpened at the same time.
So it's a good deal.
that is so well.
Thank you so much for being on man.
I really appreciate it.

(01:42:25):
So Anyway, don't die rusty fans and nation keep chasing your dreams Being the best youFill your souls up and don't die rusty
Don't die rusty.
So, righty here, there we go.

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DDR 057 - Kelley Lovelace and Rick Getting Funky

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}DDR 057 - Kelley Lovelace and Rick Getting Funky